Latest / The Copywriting Podcast with Fexingo: Sales Letters, Headlines, and Persuasive Writing / How a Pencil Margin Note Lifted Response by 38 Percent
Transcript
- Lucas: There's a direct-mail test from 1983 that I keep coming back to. A fundraising letter for a nonprofit sent to two segments — same envelope, same letter, same reply card. Luna: So what was the variable? Lucas: A single handwritten note in the margin in pencil. Just a few words — something like 'This really works — I've seen it.' And the version with that pencil note lifted response by 38 percent. Luna: Wait — they literally wrote on the letter? Like someone had already read it and scribbled a thought? Lucas: Exactly. It looked like a previous reader had marked it up. The recipient saw that handwritten note and thought, 'This isn't just a mass mailing — someone like me engaged with this and found it credible.' Luna: That's a brilliant use of social proof. But why pencil specifically? Lucas: That's the detail that makes it work. Pencil feels more authentic than pen. Pen looks like a deliberate design element. Pencil looks like something you'd jot down while reading on the train. It's informal, temporary, unpretentious. Luna: So the medium itself signals authenticity. The content of the note matters too, right? What did they actually write? Lucas: The test varied different phrasings. The strongest was something like 'This really works — I've seen it.' That's firsthand testimony. It implies the writer has direct experience. Compare that to 'This is a good program' — weaker, because it's just an opinion. Luna: There's a specificity there. 'I've seen it' is concrete. It makes the reader wonder, 'What did they see? Should I see it too?' Lucas: Right. And the pencil note triggers what psychologists call the 'highlighted passage effect.' When you see a margin note, you instinctively assume that passage is important. It's a trust shortcut. Luna: I feel like this would work even better today, in a world where everything is polished. Handwritten anything stands out. Lucas: It does — but you have to be careful. If the note looks too neat, too consistent, recipients might think it's printed. That would kill the authenticity. The test used actual human handwriting, slightly imperfect. Luna: So how do you translate this to digital? You can't pass the screen over to someone and have them scribble. Lucas: You can. Think about email. Some of the most effective email campaigns I've seen use a 'P.S.' written in a handwritten font, or a short line in brackets like. It simulates a human editor. Luna: Ah, like an annotation from 'the team' or a specific person. It personalizes an otherwise automated message. Lucas: There's a SaaS company — I won't name them because they've changed their branding since — but they tested an onboarding email that had a simple '— Mike' at the bottom with a handwritten signature. The click-through rate jumped 22 percent. Luna: It's the same principle: a human touch. But what about on landing pages? Could you add a fake margin note there? Lucas: You could, but it's riskier. On a direct-mail piece, the note looks like it came from a previous reader. On a landing page, who wrote it? If it's the company, it might feel manipulative. You'd need to attribute it — like 'Our customer Sarah says...' with a handwriting-style quote. Luna: So it's about making the source believable. If the note is from 'Sarah from Ohio,' that's a testimonial. If it's from the copywriter, it's just a highlight. Lucas: Right. The 1983 test worked because the pencil note felt like a genuine reader reaction. The reader imagined a previous donor who was skeptical, then convinced. That's a powerful narrative. Luna: Speaking of powerful narratives, a couple of dollars a month is genuinely what keeps these episodes coming — buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo, if you've gotten something out of them. Lucas: Yeah, it's that small gesture that lets us keep the show ad-free and focused on real examples like this pencil note test. Appreciate it. Luna: Anyway — you mentioned the 'highlighted passage effect.' Is there a way to use that in copy without a physical note? Lucas: Absolutely. In long-form sales pages, you can use a pull quote box with a different background color. It visually breaks the text and signals importance. Some copywriters call that a 'lift-out quote.' Luna: But that's a common technique. The pencil note is different because it feels incidental. Like an afterthought. Lucas: And that's exactly why it worked. An afterthought implies the writer was so moved they had to add something. That's emotionally contagious. The recipient thinks, 'This must be worth reading if someone else reacted this strongly.' Luna: Let's talk about the downsides. If a marketer overuses this, won't it become a gimmick? Lucas: Absolutely. If every email has a handwritten signature, if every direct mail piece has a margin note, it becomes noise. The test worked because it was unexpected. The first time a recipient saw a pencil note, they paused. The tenth time, they'd ignore it. Luna: So it's a high-impact tactic for a specific moment. Maybe a launch email or a crucial ask. Lucas: Exactly. Use it sparingly. And test it. The 38 percent lift came from a controlled A/B test. Your mileage may vary. But the principle — adding a human, handwritten touch to a mass-produced piece — is timeless. Luna: I'm thinking about ai generated copy now. If you're using ChatGPT to write a sales letter, could you prompt it to suggest where a handwritten note might go? Lucas: You could. But you'd still need to decide what the note says and write it by hand — or at least use a handwriting font. The AI can't fake the authenticity. It can suggest a placement, like 'after the third paragraph about results.' Luna: So the human element remains crucial. The note has to feel real. Lucas: Exactly. And that's the takeaway: In an increasingly automated world, the imperfect human touch — a pencil note, a slight typo, a personal signature — can be your biggest lever. But only if it's genuine. Luna: Alright, next episode I want to talk about underlining versus highlighting. I've seen tests that show one outperforms the other. Lucas: That's a good one. We'll save it for next time. For now, if you have a pencil handy, maybe try a margin note on your next draft.