Latest / MESSmerized - Funny and faith based encouragement in marriage , family , Christian parenting , and finding purpose / Episode 153: Everything's Not on the Line (Including Father's Day Apparently) with Jonathan Pitts

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Episode 153: Everything's Not on the Line (Including Father's Day Apparently) with Jonathan Pitts · MESSmerized - Funny and faith based encouragement in marriage , family , Christian parenting , and finding purpose

0:06
[SPEAKER_01]: This is Cynthia Gannoff and you are listening to the mesmerized podcast.
0:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Hello, friends, happy Father's Day.
0:17
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just kidding.
0:18
[SPEAKER_01]: I know it's 4th of July week, but we are just now releasing our Father's Day episode.
0:22
[SPEAKER_01]: And that tells you everything you need to know about, how it's been going over here at the Yannel household.
0:27
[SPEAKER_01]: We have had fun.
0:28
[SPEAKER_01]: We have been unhinged in the best ways, and we're staying up way too late and we're committing to way too many things, but it has been so much fun having everybody back in the house.
0:37
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm just giving myself a little bit of grace.
0:39
[SPEAKER_01]: I hope you will do the same for me.
0:41
[SPEAKER_01]: We are a little irregular and releasing mesmerized this summer, and so I apologize for that.
0:46
[SPEAKER_01]: But I want you to hear from Jonathan Pitts today, and Jonathan Pitts has been a good friend for a long time.
0:52
[SPEAKER_01]: He lives in Nashville.
0:53
[SPEAKER_01]: He was married to winter pits, and many of you probably remember she passed away very suddenly.
0:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Many years ago, and since then he's remarried.
1:01
[SPEAKER_01]: And he's going to share with us just some of the ups and downs, the good, the bad, the hard, all of that, of parenting as a father and as a father who's walked through a lot of grief and has led four daughters through that.
1:14
[SPEAKER_02]: And now he's remarried and blended families, all the things, and he's just got some great wisdom.
1:20
[SPEAKER_02]: So I'm thrilled that he's with us and I'm thrilled that you're getting to hear this.
1:24
[SPEAKER_02]: Now in July.
1:26
[SPEAKER_02]: But before we jump in that show I want to tell you one other thing because I want you to be encouraged and I think this story will be something somebody needs to hear today, but you may recall me saying that our sweet JB accepted Jesus as his Savior back in the spring and we signed up for the next baptism in our church, which was this last Sunday.
1:46
[SPEAKER_02]: And so they just do it periodically through the year.
1:49
[SPEAKER_02]: And so this was the one that we were signed up for.
1:51
[SPEAKER_02]: A couple of weeks ago, I spoke at our church at Bentry.
1:54
[SPEAKER_02]: You may remember that.
1:56
[SPEAKER_02]: And when I met with our pastor to talk about that, he had told me how the sermon series he was going to start was on name changes in the Bible.
2:04
[SPEAKER_02]: And so that's what he's been doing.
2:05
[SPEAKER_02]: The last month is different.
2:07
[SPEAKER_02]: People in the Bible whose names were changed by God.
2:09
[SPEAKER_02]: And why?
2:10
[SPEAKER_02]: And what that means for us today?
2:12
[SPEAKER_02]: Well,
2:13
[SPEAKER_02]: As only the Lord could do, the last name change that our pastor covered was Joshua, and that was the exact same week that our J.B. was scheduled to be baptized.
2:24
[SPEAKER_02]: And I would say that's by chance, but I know that is not by chance because I know that we don't serve a God of chance.
2:31
[SPEAKER_02]: And so J.B., which is our kiddos named Joshua, though,
2:35
[SPEAKER_02]: was baptized, and then the pastor preached on the name Joshua, which means the Lord saves.
2:41
[SPEAKER_02]: And he asked me the pastor if he could talk a little bit about our J.B. in the sermon, and so he did.
2:47
[SPEAKER_02]: And he talked about how many, many years ago, J.B. was placed for adoption by a 15-year-old girl, his biological mom, and how she had named him Joshua, and probably didn't know the significance of God's
3:03
[SPEAKER_01]: the meaning behind that name but how we know the significance and that God saved him physically all those years ago by giving us this family by putting us to bed there by giving him an adoptive family and now God has saved him spiritually and how he was given an earthly family all those years ago but now he has a spiritual family.
3:25
[SPEAKER_01]: for all eternity.
3:27
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was just reminded that only God could do that.
3:30
[SPEAKER_01]: Only God could have that timing that Jesus was accepted in JB's heart at a time in which he would get baptized where they're talking about Joshua and his story could encourage so many people in that congregation.
3:42
[SPEAKER_01]: And also us.
3:43
[SPEAKER_01]: As we walk through this with JB with so many unknowns and so many questions and times really a hard place and we are reminded.
3:51
[SPEAKER_01]: God saved him all those years ago and brought him to us and God have saved him for all eternity and he will continue to do that and he does that in all of our lives because he is the same yesterday today and forever and what he did.
4:03
[SPEAKER_02]: for one he'll do for all because he loves us and he saves us and it may not look like we want it to be.
4:08
[SPEAKER_02]: It may not be the time frame we want.
4:10
[SPEAKER_02]: But the God of the universe loves us and chose us and he saves and continues to save.
4:16
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was just reminded of that and encouraged and I hope that encourages you.
4:20
[SPEAKER_02]: And so that's part of what's been all the crazy.
4:22
[SPEAKER_02]: We've been doing baptisms and big family lunches and hosting showers for
4:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Wedding showers for friends and going to weddings and all the things and so I hope you are having a great summer too and you're giving yourself grace where you are missing things and it's not happening exactly on the schedule you hoped.
4:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Yet here we are.
4:40
[SPEAKER_02]: And so today Jonathan Pitts is going to be with us and I love him and I think this is a great word and I would love for you to share this with your spouse, with your friends, all of the things and one more quick note before we start.
4:52
[SPEAKER_02]: If you haven't already gone to Cynthiaganoff.com and put in your email
4:55
[SPEAKER_02]: Would you please do that?
4:57
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to be sending out a survey and getting some input about mesmerized in the fall and what we're going to do and what it might look like, some changes.
5:04
[SPEAKER_02]: We might make and so would love for you all to get a Cynthia again off dot com.
5:08
[SPEAKER_02]: Give me your email promise.
5:10
[SPEAKER_02]: I will not spam you.
5:11
[SPEAKER_02]: Again, you know I won't spam you.
5:13
[SPEAKER_02]: I can't even get a podcast out on time.
5:15
[SPEAKER_02]: So here we are with that.
5:16
[SPEAKER_02]: All right, you guys.
5:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's kick it off with Jonathan Pizz.
5:23
[SPEAKER_01]: John of the pits welcome to the podcast how are you I'm good to see how are you doing good it's been a while
5:30
[SPEAKER_00]: It's been a little bit, you know, you have to like that energy where it never feels like it's been that long since we talked.
5:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Give it high energy.
5:36
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's a feel like it's been that long.
5:38
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, it's, it's a, it's a lot of energy.
5:41
[SPEAKER_01]: Some might, some might call it and diagnose ADHD.
5:44
[SPEAKER_01]: You and I wouldn't Jonathan, but whatever it is, lot of energy.
5:47
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm glad you're back.
5:50
[SPEAKER_01]: And we get to chat again.
5:51
[SPEAKER_01]: And you know what I love.
5:52
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I love a lot of things about Jonathan Pitz.
5:54
[SPEAKER_01]: But I love that I can text you just out of the blue randomly and be like,
5:59
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, sure, and you're just going to get more.
6:01
[SPEAKER_01]: Thanks.
6:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I love it.
6:03
[SPEAKER_00]: It's actually, you know, people want to feel known, seen, heard.
6:09
[SPEAKER_00]: It's probably what to do at podcasts.
6:10
[SPEAKER_00]: No, you haven't seen her at all the same time.
6:12
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.
6:13
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.
6:13
[SPEAKER_01]: I've never changed the name.
6:15
[SPEAKER_01]: There you go.
6:16
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, give everybody a life update.
6:17
[SPEAKER_01]: You and I know each other.
6:18
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know how we know each other back from when I used to work at a different ministry years and years ago.
6:22
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, right?
6:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Is that how it was?
6:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think it was a different ministry.
6:26
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that was
6:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe we ran into each other when I was in Dallas, but we didn't know each other then, that's my guess.
6:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah.
6:33
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so give us a life update.
6:34
[SPEAKER_01]: You're in Nashville, all the things.
6:37
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, do I need to give a like a pre update or just start kind of what do I start on this and just start with today you got 7,000 children and a fairly and and I was going to say a new wife new to me, but not new to you, that not update.
6:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so yeah, so Jonathan pits, I am currently a pastor in Tennessee, I come to a fractional, which just means part time pay full time part.
7:00
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm a pastor at a church called church in a 30 city big church in Tennessee.
7:05
[SPEAKER_00]: I do some consulting work for firm and Dallas.
7:08
[SPEAKER_00]: I run a girl's ministry for girls that do a magazine for twin girls that my late wife started.
7:14
[SPEAKER_00]: I've been running now for almost eight years if you can believe it.
7:17
[SPEAKER_00]: It's kind of crazy.
7:17
[SPEAKER_00]: She passed on as eight years ago, winter for some of your listeners may know winter, winter.
7:22
[SPEAKER_00]: I've been married to my now best friend.
7:27
[SPEAKER_00]: We met in 2020 during COVID.
7:30
[SPEAKER_00]: We got married.
7:34
[SPEAKER_00]: We have a two year old little boy who pooped in the toilet for the first time this past Sunday Yeah, which is wild because my five children and my four children from my late life Our 16 years older than my two-year-old son and so Yeah, so it's wild it's wild days.
7:55
[SPEAKER_00]: I've got a
7:56
[SPEAKER_00]: The baby at home, my twins are going to be seniors this year, um, and then I've got one at Bailer who is a, I should be a sophomore at Bailer, and then I've got, uh, my oldest daughter who's currently praying about to move back to Texas.
8:10
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm praying I don't lose one, but I think I might be losing her back to.
8:13
[SPEAKER_00]: She's married.
8:13
[SPEAKER_00]: She's married to a Texan.
8:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, young man named Kazaya.
8:17
[SPEAKER_00]: So Alina Katelyn, Cameron Olivia, my girls, my son Arrow, one of the dreams, um, my wife's a career actor who feels missionally called to that and she's done some jobs since, uh, since we've been married and I've gotten a support her mainly through prayer and I do some, I do some, uh, I read some, uh, auditions with her, which is a lot of fun.
8:38
[SPEAKER_00]: I get to read.
8:39
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's been fun.
8:40
[SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, it's just, wow, I started over and,
8:44
[SPEAKER_00]: It's been the wildest, most enjoyable.
8:46
[SPEAKER_00]: I never thought it had a son.
8:47
[SPEAKER_00]: So to be a dad girl, running a girl's magazine ministry, then to have a son has just been a big wild chain.
8:54
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm grateful.
8:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, well, that is amazing.
8:58
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm so grateful for this adventure that you are on.
9:02
[SPEAKER_01]: And you and I were laughing before because your sons and y'all call them arrow.
9:06
[SPEAKER_01]: And you're like, well, I say it this way, and I don't know what you were saying, but it wasn't, it had some other emancipation I couldn't get.
9:12
[SPEAKER_01]: And then you did it again when you said, okay, then you said bailer, how do you say bailer?
9:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Miller, how do you say Miller?
9:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, you say like bearer.
9:21
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know, but I went to Baylor and I wanted to tell you that, um, that when I think I know how to say and, um, great people come from Baylor.
9:28
[SPEAKER_01]: So let's go.
9:29
[SPEAKER_01]: You got a kid there.
9:30
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
9:30
[SPEAKER_01]: I've yet to get hit them.
9:31
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm highly impressed with that school.
9:33
[SPEAKER_00]: I went for orientation, um, actually for a visit for orientation.
9:36
[SPEAKER_00]: It was highly impressive leadership.
9:38
[SPEAKER_00]: or an occasional surrounding person leadership, and everybody have met from mailers been outstanding.
9:42
[SPEAKER_00]: So, sick of them.
9:43
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, sick of us, right.
9:44
[SPEAKER_01]: That's right.
9:45
[SPEAKER_01]: All right.
9:46
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, it's awesome to have you back.
9:48
[SPEAKER_01]: And if you don't know kind of Jonathan's backstory, then you can listen to a link.
9:53
[SPEAKER_01]: Other podcasts he's been on with me where we've talked about when he lost his wife winter, suddenly, and raising four girls in this ministry and all the things, and just,
10:04
[SPEAKER_02]: done it remarkably well as someone as an outsider that has watched you really go through hard.
10:11
[SPEAKER_01]: You you've carried a really incredible load and just to see you guys flourishing is so amazing.
10:17
[SPEAKER_01]: So I love that.
10:19
[SPEAKER_01]: I was thinking about Father's Day and that's how this all came up.
10:22
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, who can we talk to on Father's Day?
10:24
[SPEAKER_01]: and I thought you're a great person that's hockey because you've walked through some really hard, you've walked through some big moments, you do ministry.
10:32
[SPEAKER_01]: You do behind the scenes ministry stuff and I don't know, I feel like you've seen anybody can relate to your walk in a lot of different ways and so thanks for talking Father's Day with us and I think this will be a great episode just for the women that listen just to think
10:46
[SPEAKER_01]: ways to think through what our husbands are doing and what they're facing and all that, but also to share with your husband.
10:51
[SPEAKER_01]: So we're glad you're here.
10:52
[SPEAKER_01]: I was thinking though, as we started talking about just being a dad, what's something that you believed that was important to be a great dad maybe 20 years ago.
11:01
[SPEAKER_01]: that not so much now and and I'm going to intersect that my own question by saying this I too like you have a huge gap because you know we adopt a little one from foster care and so it's really interesting to raise older ones and then you've got this little one and you're like oh yeah um I don't care about that anymore and so I thought you're the perfect person to ask so what is something that you believe that it remains to be a great dad and 20 years later like yeah who cares yeah I mean honestly like I think the thing that I'm
11:29
[SPEAKER_00]: flowing in right now that I didn't give my permission to flow and was not, um, I don't always have to be right.
11:35
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't always have to be like so on top disciplinary.
11:39
[SPEAKER_00]: And I feel bad especially from my oldest daughter who I was always like I was pretty rigid like just trying to get like truth into her and, you know, she had this reaction.
11:48
[SPEAKER_00]: It was like, you know, it's a toddler like stomping.
11:50
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm correctly it.
11:51
[SPEAKER_00]: And now, you know years later, like, you know, you look at like
11:56
[SPEAKER_00]: sociology and all the studies and stuff, especially around like sensory and around like even like regulation like I didn't that my kids ever regularly I was fixing right I was fixing regulation I was like fixing their attitudes and their tantrums and all that kind of stuff and that's like I've just learned so much like when my son now I say arrow put your shoes by the door and he stomps his foot and he goes I'm fine and then he hits the wall it's like
12:24
[SPEAKER_00]: like I normally would have discipline that right away and just been like correct this, you know.
12:29
[SPEAKER_00]: And you know, I don't think I'd parented wrong.
12:32
[SPEAKER_00]: I think I just parented a little bit like, I guess a little bit uninformed.
12:35
[SPEAKER_00]: And maybe a little bit afraid that I was gonna ruin my kid before I got started because they weren't operating in the truth.
12:41
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's like in general, like I now realize, like, oh, my son's just like, he's upset.
12:46
[SPEAKER_00]: It's okay from the right, I correct him.
12:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Like don't get me wrong.
12:48
[SPEAKER_00]: I will correct him.
12:50
[SPEAKER_00]: But my corrections a little bit like more patient,
12:53
[SPEAKER_00]: uh, more gentle.
12:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe that's just me being an older guy.
12:56
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm 46 years old.
12:57
[SPEAKER_00]: A little more tired too.
12:59
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that's probably one of the things, like just not being so quick to correct and so quick to fix.
13:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
13:04
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not sure that I was regulating with my oldest.
13:07
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like it whatever she did, sit me over the ledge too.
13:11
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
13:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly.
13:12
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm unregulated.
13:13
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm unregulated.
13:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, and um, so yeah, I feel you on that.
13:17
[SPEAKER_01]: I think
13:18
[SPEAKER_01]: one of some of the worst parenting advice I ever received, and I don't know where I heard it, but someone or son, I had this understanding of someone saying like if you don't have control of your like two or three or four year old, then you're never going to have control in their teenage years.
13:32
[SPEAKER_01]: And so everything mine did in their little, all I could project forward is how bad this was going to play out as teenagers.
13:39
[SPEAKER_01]: And the fact of the matter is, um,
13:42
[SPEAKER_01]: My teenagers were fine.
13:43
[SPEAKER_01]: Now, I understand not all Mars.
13:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes they derail.
13:45
[SPEAKER_01]: My next one may derail.
13:47
[SPEAKER_01]: But I don't attribute it to whether or not I discipline any given whatever at four years old or five years old.
13:53
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I do think you just give yourself a little more latitude as you get older.
13:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Here's the flip side of it.
14:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Is there anything that's you're like, I really wasn't paying close enough attention to this and I do think it matters now knowing what I know.
14:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think I'm in the hard reality.
14:12
[SPEAKER_00]: And I say this, I don't think I was in perfect at it, but I wish I was even more dialed, was actually just paying attention to where my girls were emotionally.
14:22
[SPEAKER_00]: I now like have conversations about all this children.
14:26
[SPEAKER_00]: And what's hard about having adult children, if they're just brutally honest with you about how you were.
14:31
[SPEAKER_00]: And yeah, probably just like a little check out emotional
14:40
[SPEAKER_00]: assuming that mom could do that, you know, and eventually mom wasn't there, and that was probably, I think, the hardest thing in the grief for me, you know, because I was kind of solo parent.
14:50
[SPEAKER_00]: I was never a solo parent to my sister with me, but I was obviously like the only bioparent in my sister, my sister, there are for three years, and then I had, I got married to Pita, but in that, I kind of parented, I was like, I was having to catch up emotionally with my
15:09
[SPEAKER_00]: I think a part of that too is probably just like they're becoming women, you know, they were, they were young teens and tweens when that happens, but I do think like just being like aware of my girl's emotions, what their emotions mean.
15:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Like one thing, again, this goes back to like even like, we didn't have these tools.
15:25
[SPEAKER_00]: So there's a, um,
15:27
[SPEAKER_00]: uh... chip dot is all to the kind of rights a lot on the motions and you have to think of eight core motions and you know glad and sad and the only one that seems like a good emotion is glad but really all emotions are good including anger including like i just like i wanted i wanted them to be grateful and glad and if they weren't that it was almost like i was quick to dismiss or i was quick to
15:48
[SPEAKER_00]: correct versus like literally like lean in and go, hey, I see that you're angry.
15:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Why are you angry?
15:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Talk to me about that.
15:54
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I did that sometimes.
15:55
[SPEAKER_00]: I think I could have done a better job with that.
15:57
[SPEAKER_00]: And again, I think I'm just more aware, but I do think like,
16:01
[SPEAKER_00]: allowing my kids to experience the full range of emotion without me having to try to pasture them through that, which was really hard and grief, by the way.
16:10
[SPEAKER_00]: So, yeah.
16:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
16:12
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, and I think you get a pass on not being completely in touch with your emotions when you're going through that kind of grief of losing a wife and their mother and all of that, but I think we all struggle with that.
16:22
[SPEAKER_01]: Help us understand as a man, assuming a lot of women are listening
16:29
[SPEAKER_01]: What's the thought press?
16:31
[SPEAKER_01]: How do you walk through raising daughters or really kids in general?
16:34
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, do you walk through this in parenting as a man like feeling maybe we're not enough or feeling like we're not like I don't know just walk us through like the psyche of it because I think is a woman.
16:46
[SPEAKER_01]: It's hard to understand and especially if your husband isn't really great or in touch with his emotions try to understand what it's like to parent kids from a male perspective like give us some thoughts into that.
16:58
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think, and on if this is cultural, I think it might be somewhat cultural, but I think someone it's just like Endemic of being a man is that we feel like we're supposed to be right, and so I think it can feel really easy to feel Shame for not getting things right, and so rather than just admit that we're not right and be humble, we can tend to like
17:21
[SPEAKER_00]: be for me, it's like defensive.
17:22
[SPEAKER_00]: I can be really defensive.
17:24
[SPEAKER_00]: I think for a lot of men, it's easy to like actually just engage because they don't want to be wrong.
17:28
[SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, I think I think as a man, you want to be right.
17:33
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't think it's necessarily motivated by like this arrogance of what we just feel like we're supposed to have it together.
17:39
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I think there's a lot of pressure on.
17:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Men on dads to be right to have it together to do the right thing to say the right thing to make the right amount like all those things.
17:48
[SPEAKER_00]: So I thought it was a very pressure a pressure society because I even find that with myself now because, you know, I've got five children my wife Peter.
17:58
[SPEAKER_00]: has won by and for, you know, girls that stuff daughters, but I find myself, like, she's taught me so much about parents and I have to teach you about parenting.
18:07
[SPEAKER_00]: I have five kids.
18:08
[SPEAKER_00]: I should know more.
18:09
[SPEAKER_00]: I should know more than her.
18:10
[SPEAKER_00]: And frankly, I don't because she's just got like this like maternal instinct with her son at this age where she knew like, hey, you should think about saying this way, doing this thing.
18:17
[SPEAKER_00]: So sometimes I'm right inch of like, hey, you're right.
18:20
[SPEAKER_00]: You do it, but I think I think
18:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes we can be resistant to advice, we can be resistant to a different way because we just, we feel like we're supposed to already be right and have it right.
18:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe that's just me, but I think that's what's meant.
18:31
[SPEAKER_00]: That makes sense.
18:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
18:34
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I talked to you a lot after in the years after when our past, we talked quite a bit on podcast and things.
18:41
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think for all of us, our inclination is we just want to shelter our kids.
18:44
[SPEAKER_01]: We don't want the hard in their lives.
18:46
[SPEAKER_01]: And so then the hard happens like, like of the worst that you'll walk through and win or suddenly passes away and erasing these girls.
18:54
[SPEAKER_01]: What would you say to people just about raising your kids through grief?
18:57
[SPEAKER_01]: Whether that's losing a parent, which is huge.
18:59
[SPEAKER_01]: or a grandparent or even just the grief of not to not to like in these two things but not making the team or not having a friend group or not getting into the college or those things like what do you now know having seen the Lord walk you guys through what would you say to people that are so scared for their kids to experience grief and hard?
19:19
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I would say and this is biblical, but hardship actually produces more and us than not hardship.
19:29
[SPEAKER_00]: My girls were formed and forged through hardship in a way that most kids don't even really experience most of the time.
19:35
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I wouldn't say they're favored because they had that happen.
19:38
[SPEAKER_00]: But I do think there's a level of resilience they have having to face a hard thing that a lot of other kids have never faced.
19:46
[SPEAKER_00]: And I would say for a parent, like a mom listening right now, and I think this the tendency of any mom is to shield their child from from difficulty and not even like forget grief.
19:57
[SPEAKER_00]: shield them from having to experience like the cost of not having enough money and their little bank account to pay for an ice cream because I spent it all so whatever that whatever the thing is like hardship actually produces perseverance so it's like the reality is like just let it happen because it's going to produce something and then that you can't actually fabricate another way and so yeah the biggest scale is also apparent also the sibling
20:22
[SPEAKER_00]: you know, like, like actual loss or something like that.
20:26
[SPEAKER_00]: But I think it works on every level.
20:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I'm trying to do that now with my teenagers and my young adults has let them experience hardship.
20:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, even now it's like the tendency if I want to jump in to help my 19-year-old, or help my 22-year-old, it's like, no, like, you got to let them be.
20:41
[SPEAKER_00]: If they don't learn how to cope through hardship and figure out things themselves, then they're always going to want to be rescued.
20:47
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's not going to build resilience in them.
20:49
[SPEAKER_00]: So I felt like that's probably one of the things
20:51
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I wouldn't say better at because God kind of allowed that to happen.
20:56
[SPEAKER_00]: It was like a forcing on that.
20:57
[SPEAKER_00]: I couldn't, I didn't have the bandwidth or the capacity to help them with everything.
21:02
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, so it's like, I would say it's a, it's a gift and it doesn't get easier.
21:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Like the things I want to shield my kids from now, like after all they've gone through and I'm like, they can't handle this.
21:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Like certainly they can handle this little minor thing, you know.
21:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, specifically by daughter Belly that never has any money decided that she didn't want to work for freshman year.
21:19
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's like, let them and also let her experience the reality of being poor because it will actually help her, you know.
21:26
[SPEAKER_00]: So, totally.
21:27
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, totally.
21:28
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, and I think I think about this.
21:30
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, to put that one on blast, by the way, but I did to don't tell her.
21:33
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, we won't tell her everybody has shown that one and I think about this like my kids just walking through obviously So entirely different but walking through foster care and all the hard that came with that many times We thought we're gonna lose this kiddo and they they loved him like a sibling and eventually you know Obviously we got to adopt him that wasn't a given
21:50
[SPEAKER_01]: And in the midst of it, I remember just all the concerns of like, what is going to do to them?
21:54
[SPEAKER_01]: How are they going to turn out all this?
21:56
[SPEAKER_01]: And I say it often, but now on the other side of it, I'm so thankful for who they are, who they've become through that, because entering them into stories I've been shielding him from and taking him to parts of town that we had never been in.
22:07
[SPEAKER_01]: and letting them really live out the gospel in real time, even in the hardest, dickiest, grossest moments of it.
22:15
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, they have a different relationship with the Lord because of that.
22:19
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm just so grateful and yeah, it was really hard and absolutely, but I'm wondering this, I think about your story just with winter and even losing a child.
22:30
[SPEAKER_01]: How many years ago was that Jonathan?
22:33
[SPEAKER_00]: We lost Jonathan Caleb Baller, our son, a year and a week, a year and two weeks before our next son was born, but so it's 2023.
22:48
[SPEAKER_01]: For those of us who watched how you walked that, we're like, how much more, are we going to have to watch suffering in your life?
22:56
[SPEAKER_01]: But as you have a story where God did not prevent the suffering, I mean, I'm sure there's lots of places he did, but you have walked through suffering and I'm just curious.
23:05
[SPEAKER_01]: How is that change the way you see as a father?
23:09
[SPEAKER_01]: And as having a heavenly father, how does that change the way you see the goodness of God in that?
23:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, um, you know, the thing is I don't want to dismiss that like some some hardship can actually produce real traumas, you know, like even now, um, I'm kind of, I deal with that myself or like, you know, my son's eating and like he has like some choking response and I get freaked out.
23:36
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know why if I thought I can do that right there, because it's just like it's such a scary thing.
23:40
[SPEAKER_00]: I think there's still some things that we have to actually entrust the Lord, you know, after we've walked out of like some hardship.
23:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, but yeah, I mean, I just think like, when you, when you walk through really hard things, I don't know how people walk through things like I've walked through without the Lord, because I'm like, the only way I walk through is because I just trust that God's got one of the plan to God, for example, with winter.
24:06
[SPEAKER_00]: She is with the Lord.
24:07
[SPEAKER_00]: And like I can trust that she's with him.
24:09
[SPEAKER_00]: I can trust that when I gave my Valves, like these are the 15 years he gave me, I fulfilled my Valves.
24:14
[SPEAKER_00]: There are cognitive things I can do, like when Scripture says in Philippine's four, whatever's true, whatever's right, whatever's honorable, whatever's pure, whatever's lovely, whatever's admirable of anything, it's actually a praiseworthy, dwell on these things.
24:24
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I do think for the believer, the ability to dwell on what God says is true, despite what else might be true, it's actually, it's actually the only thing I've actually had to claim to.
24:37
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's what I've actually coached my children.
24:38
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think,
24:39
[SPEAKER_00]: In my best days, even when I was probably trying to pass to my kids too much, I was always pointing them to the reality behind the reality.
24:46
[SPEAKER_00]: My mentor, Dr. Neve, has always says, if all you see is what you see on never see others to be seen.
24:51
[SPEAKER_00]: And so we get afraid because we're afraid for our kids to see
24:57
[SPEAKER_00]: one reality or have to deal with that reality.
24:59
[SPEAKER_00]: But the truth is, there's always another reality happening beside that reality, like God is caring for them, God's taking them through, like when you guys are, you know, like exposing to your kids of things that they've never seen before, what the reality is, like, you can look at the mess of it, and you can also see the kingdom is at work in that as well.
25:16
[SPEAKER_00]: So I always encourage my kids to see a different reality in the one they see.
25:20
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I think in that, like,
25:22
[SPEAKER_00]: oftentimes, and I've never said it this way, but I think resilience can be built through just discernment of the disarmament on perspective, like discerning like what else is happening here, like what else can I clean to, like when winter, when she left this arc really suddenly, like just literally had hard to sort of even she was gone, I remember going to tell my girls,
25:45
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, what do I say to them?
25:47
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I didn't think this in the moment, but I basically I said, Molly, what home do we with Jesus?
25:52
[SPEAKER_00]: And I could have said, you know, Mommy died.
25:56
[SPEAKER_00]: I could have used lots of different languages, but I tried to figure out what's both true and hopeful.
26:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Because at least, I mean, there's at least there's a glimmer of hope in that versus the other thing.
26:05
[SPEAKER_00]: So I just think like, if we're giving it, if we're giving our kids anything, if we're teaching our kids anything,
26:14
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's going to carry them for a lifetime.
26:16
[SPEAKER_00]: The servants of big deal, wisdom is a big deal.
26:18
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I don't know if I answered your question.
26:21
[SPEAKER_00]: No, that's good.
26:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Kind of remind me of that.
26:22
[SPEAKER_01]: That's good.
26:23
[SPEAKER_01]: And also, like, don't miss what, don't miss guys what he just said.
26:27
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, point your kids what's true and hopeful.
26:30
[SPEAKER_01]: and that's the gospel, right?
26:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Like that is the ultimate hope of the gospel.
26:34
[SPEAKER_01]: And so that's a good word.
26:36
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know that we've ever talked about this on this podcast, so I'm a thought this was a good one to ask you.
26:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's talk about when you're getting remarried.
26:45
[SPEAKER_01]: You have four daughters.
26:46
[SPEAKER_01]: You have probably four really protective daughters that are what junior high high school age when you're in high school.
26:55
[SPEAKER_00]: A, I'm trying to remember what I keep it was.
26:58
[SPEAKER_00]: So one was 17, which means one was 15, maybe a freshman, and then two that were like, seventh grade.
27:06
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, okay, so we're not lacking in opinions.
27:10
[SPEAKER_01]: Four girls in that age ever are four girls lacking in opinions, but how did you navigate that?
27:18
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, he does amazing.
27:19
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm sure they loved her.
27:21
[SPEAKER_01]: And also you're navigating, starting this new family and all that, how does that work?
27:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's very scary.
27:31
[SPEAKER_00]: I was honestly family blending was harder than walking through grief and a loss of winter because at least with when winter passed away, me and the girls were on the same page.
27:44
[SPEAKER_00]: And so and penis amazing the girls love her and like you said so it's like when we got married all the sudden She it was like this she's like you guys have a culture and it's all the sudden she didn't have any kids but like she comes into my home our home and our culture and all the sudden it's like it's like God's kind of taking a wrecking ball to our culture and it's very hard to she feels bad she doesn't want to hurt them
28:14
[SPEAKER_00]: they're just trying to figure it out.
28:15
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm trying to figure it out.
28:16
[SPEAKER_00]: And so we all came in pretty timid and pretty afraid.
28:21
[SPEAKER_00]: But what's been really neat and really beautiful is that God is just he's fortunate to family now for me again.
28:26
[SPEAKER_00]: So it goes back to like the whole hardship thing.
28:28
[SPEAKER_00]: So for example, we get married and two months after we get married.
28:33
[SPEAKER_00]: After months after we get married, we have a miscarriage.
28:36
[SPEAKER_00]: And that like that forged, you know, it's hard for kids to really even
28:42
[SPEAKER_00]: like grass what's happening there, but like me and Peter were on the same page like this hardship happens right away.
28:48
[SPEAKER_00]: A year after that, we, uh, previous pregnant, we'd go to 38 weeks and we have a stillborn son at 38 weeks, which is about as traumatic as anything I've ever walked through.
28:58
[SPEAKER_00]: And what's really been beautiful is that God actually used that moment to actually bond our family
29:08
[SPEAKER_00]: And then when era was born, we bonded in joy over this little boy that's a blood relative to everybody.
29:13
[SPEAKER_00]: And so it's just that's my specific story.
29:17
[SPEAKER_00]: But I think the the hard thing was
29:21
[SPEAKER_00]: this is why life without the came of God is so difficult because everybody has their own values and it's easy for everyone to get hurt in any family.
29:30
[SPEAKER_00]: It's easy for everybody to get hurt for different reasons and hurt isn't bad or wrong.
29:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you could be hurt because your husband said something that you didn't like but it wasn't anything bad that he said and you could get hurt because you did and there's all these reasons to get hurt and so like our family and I think specifically and by the families there's a lot of hurt moving around for different reasons that nobody can control
29:51
[SPEAKER_00]: It's all you can do to chew all you can do is choose and that hurt to have some compassion for somebody else and that just takes a while it takes a while to go oh I should care about them because I guess even though I didn't choose if they are my family or you know it's just like there's just a lot of there's a lot of opportunities for her and hurt can lead to resentment if it's not dealt with and so as a family we just chose to just I mean as a dad and as a husband I tried to lead.
30:19
[SPEAKER_00]: very openly and be honest and communicative.
30:23
[SPEAKER_00]: I remember at one point, Peter and I used to say something to each other.
30:26
[SPEAKER_00]: We used to say everything's not online.
30:28
[SPEAKER_00]: When I felt like everything was online.
30:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, would say everything's not online.
30:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Like it's going to be okay.
30:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Keep showing up, keep doing the right thing, don't operate in insecurity and fear because that's the thing like as a parent, like you want your kid to do the right thing, say the right thing being respectful or whatever, and the reality is in that you can react at a fear because they're not doing that and that just makes things even worse.
30:50
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I would say family blending matured me more than anything's ever matured me in my life.
30:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Like it shows me to have to show up and be okay with.
30:57
[SPEAKER_00]: somebody being hurt for a reason like can't control somebody having opinion about something that I can't control.
31:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Like at first we have to just sit and be okay and not need anybody else to be okay including my wife by the way because it was hard for her as well.
31:11
[SPEAKER_00]: It was hard for everybody in what was hard as it was hard because I chose something, you know, I chose a new like so yeah, but it's I mean honestly like
31:19
[SPEAKER_00]: If that's for just in a way that nothing else can and my family is closer than we've ever been and we've got loving friendship, you know, and it's, you know, it's always going to be at some level complicated because they're always going to be at some level grief and sadness and you know, you just you actually learn to just be okay with that.
31:38
[SPEAKER_00]: That's why I feel like I've learned to do the loss of winter and then also do the loss of our son and family darling is that there's always a reason for somebody to not be okay and what I should do is show up and they're not okay.
31:49
[SPEAKER_00]: And first of all, BOK, so I don't make it about me.
31:51
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the challenge.
31:52
[SPEAKER_00]: We make stuff about us all the time.
31:53
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not even about us.
31:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Another day, for example, it's always a hard day for my girls.
31:58
[SPEAKER_00]: And if I make that about me and then need to make me happy and make sure I don't feel bad, that's not showing up right as a parent.
32:05
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's really forced me to just be OK. And for that, I've had to go to the Lord and be the guard.
32:11
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't like this feeling, but I'm going to just sit in it.
32:13
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't like that we don't do anything on another day, but I'm going to just sit in it.
32:16
[SPEAKER_00]: And now, things have changed over time.
32:18
[SPEAKER_00]: things have gotten easier, but being okay with everybody else not being okay has been a life lesson for me.
32:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I love that you all say everything's not on the line because I'll tell you what, we would parent differently if we believe that.
32:31
[SPEAKER_01]: And ultimately, you know, it's everything's not on the line ever because our kids are under the care of the Lord, right?
32:38
[SPEAKER_01]: But it feels that, whether that's something as big as grief or something like a college decision or getting on a team like everything's not on the line all the time and I feel like we live
32:47
[SPEAKER_01]: that acts like that is the case and we'll do anything to shield their kids and like we're talking about like, that's not, that's best for them either, like let them walk some of these things.
32:57
[SPEAKER_01]: So okay, I'm going to do a couple rapid fire questions for you.
33:00
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, they're not like one answer kind of questions, but kind of like quick, like quick thoughts on this and knowing that these are kind of deeper questions, but so it's not fairity is what I'm saying, Jonathan, but here we go.
33:12
[SPEAKER_01]: It's fine, everyone.
33:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, here we go.
33:15
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, what qualities are you hoping your daughter's look for and has been?
33:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, qualities my daughter's look for has been faithful, first of all, patient, love his patient, love his kind, patient and current.
33:30
[SPEAKER_01]: Hmm.
33:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
33:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
33:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
33:32
[SPEAKER_01]: When your daughter's tell stories about you in 20 years, what do you hope that they say?
33:38
[SPEAKER_00]: More of the same to be honest, um, my girls, when they speak of me,
33:42
[SPEAKER_00]: to me or to others.
33:43
[SPEAKER_00]: They're always very generous.
33:45
[SPEAKER_00]: They don't find fault in me.
33:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes they'll talk to me and they'll talk about things that they thought I could have done differently, but when they're talking to others, they always speak very kind and really impossible to me.
33:54
[SPEAKER_00]: So I would say that, yeah, there's just always, it's lovely with my girls.
34:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't see, they cover
34:12
[SPEAKER_00]: like they love to cover their dad and make him like you're a race.
34:15
[SPEAKER_00]: If you'll get, yeah, yeah, great.
34:17
[SPEAKER_00]: It's gracious.
34:17
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
34:19
[SPEAKER_01]: What's one thing, why I've seen to hear about there has been this father's day?
34:25
[SPEAKER_00]: It cares deeply about what you say.
34:28
[SPEAKER_00]: The power of life and death is in the time and you have the most power to bless him, encourage him, to build him up.
34:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
34:38
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
34:39
[SPEAKER_01]: That's good.
34:40
[SPEAKER_01]: What's one thing every husband needs to hear about leading his family this Father's Day?
34:46
[SPEAKER_00]: He's enough.
34:48
[SPEAKER_00]: That in the grace of God empowered by the spirit of God, he's enough.
34:56
[SPEAKER_01]: It's talk to us and maybe this isn't as rapid fire, but talk to us a little bit about just having your family.
35:03
[SPEAKER_01]: in church and I know you've been on staff to church and I do a lot of work with churches and speak at churches and all that and so and get a little messy for some of us that are kind of in ministry slash attending but I stand by it.
35:16
[SPEAKER_01]: I think the best thing we ever did for our kids was have them in church all the time and I say that as a girl who grew up in church all the time but not because church makes you say but church puts you in the
35:27
[SPEAKER_01]: and the palm of the gospel day and a day out.
35:30
[SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, I was saying to my husband, one of the, and, and I say this was humility because it's nothing we've done.
35:37
[SPEAKER_01]: Like other than we show up a church with our kids, even on the raws, grossest days when everyone's yelled at each other in the car.
35:43
[SPEAKER_01]: And I said something ugly on the way home about the pastor, like we did it wrong a lot.
35:46
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I look back on things like, ugh, but,
35:49
[SPEAKER_01]: to a minor in college.
35:51
[SPEAKER_01]: And when I look on life 360 on Sunday mornings just glance once a while in both of them are church and the respective college towns.
35:58
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, what else could I ask for, right?
36:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Like they're just following the Lord when they get the choice whether or not to follow the Lord.
36:05
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm just such a believer.
36:08
[SPEAKER_01]: in the local church and I know you are too and so I guess that's what I would want as maybe to wrap with is just talk about that for a minute.
36:15
[SPEAKER_01]: I know we're talking Father's Day, but this is really Father's and anybody else.
36:18
[SPEAKER_01]: What is what are your thoughts on just really raising kids in the church when it's sticky?
36:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I mean, I think we're out scripture that says don't forsake the gathering of the saints, like that we're supposed to gather and get together.
36:28
[SPEAKER_00]: My parents, like we've learned, didn't have an option to go to church and oftentimes that was private or religious, but religious are not religious.
36:34
[SPEAKER_00]: There
36:38
[SPEAKER_00]: What's really beautiful now like this past Sunday my oldest daughter was in Texas, so she wasn't here, but my other three daughters, one who's back from college One who worked that morning, we all shared up and church together, and finally enough all of us
36:50
[SPEAKER_00]: of all of us, but one, so four of us were wearing all white, which is hilarious, I don't know why, on a random thing.
36:56
[SPEAKER_00]: This randomly?
36:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
36:58
[SPEAKER_00]: But, no, there's nothing like wrap my arms around my girls and hug in them in church and singing together and worshiping together, taking the Eucharist together, like literally, just like the body and blood of Christ, like just basically
37:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Every Sunday, our church does community in every Sunday, like every Sunday, coming before the Lord and just being reminded of his body broken for us, his blood shed for us, like doing that together has been really important to my family.
37:24
[SPEAKER_00]: We actually, we church together, and then we, like, we typically almost every Sunday will open our home to my oldest daughter's marriage just in the home anymore.
37:32
[SPEAKER_00]: And we'll do a family meal at the house as well, and so we can
37:37
[SPEAKER_00]: oftentimes it's, you know, we're growing out or whatever, but yeah, there's just, there's something special about the family of God being together, but then the family of God, including your family, and yeah, it's actually really special for me that my girls, I've always told us, girl doesn't think we're from the church, she comes to church every Sunday with her husband, we sit together as a family, and if, and when, if or when she moves out of Tennessee, I'm going to really, really miss that.
38:03
[SPEAKER_00]: And with my one of college, like, I had a whole
38:06
[SPEAKER_00]: year this year where she went to the church with us and it's going to have her back for a little bit.
38:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, absolutely.
38:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's really beautiful.
38:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah.
38:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
38:15
[SPEAKER_01]: OK, so the ministry that winter started, that you guys run for girls like you, tell us a little bit about that.
38:22
[SPEAKER_01]: And by the way, it's blowing up.
38:24
[SPEAKER_01]: I hear, which is amazing.
38:25
[SPEAKER_01]: And the best way, not blowing up, like it went sounds guys.
38:28
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, like the best of ways.
38:30
[SPEAKER_01]: But tell us a little bit about that.
38:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Anything interesting, any takeaways from just running that
38:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's been a laboral love.
38:37
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like it's a fifth daughter.
38:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Like when Winter passed away, the biggest conviction I had was I'm not gonna let this minister die.
38:44
[SPEAKER_00]: It was probably a few response, but that fear of the preparation got worked in my heart.
38:49
[SPEAKER_00]: And now I just realized like, oh, well, I get to father thousands of girls that will never meet me through stewarding this ministry that got us placed in my family's lap for all involved.
38:58
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm all to start our shoes to covers.
39:00
[SPEAKER_00]: A number two is kind of the face of our,
39:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Kind of like mentor voice, so she does like videos for us for our community, they're all engaged, so it's a lot of fun for our family.
39:10
[SPEAKER_00]: We've doubled in size the last year, we're serving about 10,000 girls right now actively with subscriptions, print magazines, subscriptions, so girls like you.com, you can kind of learn more on the website, subscribe on the website for twin girls, so like eight to seven to twelve eight as well.
39:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so yeah, it's really beautiful.
39:29
[SPEAKER_01]: What are this amazing and recurring themes like what is it that you feel like you all you are called to go back to or just from hearing from the people who's subscribed to your stuff and your girl speaking into like is it identity would be my guess we go back to identity over and over or is there anything in particular that they're facing this generation that you want to mention.
39:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, but I think a big part of identity is belonging and so for us, like one of the biggest things we want to do is help girls see other little girls in the kingdom of God doing big things for God when I say big it could be like, you know, a lemonade stand big doesn't have to mean I'm going to move your sins like that.
40:04
[SPEAKER_00]: And so most of the content is focused on girls.
40:07
[SPEAKER_00]: in some, like, you know, lots of issue is a pet issue.
40:10
[SPEAKER_00]: The next issue is a teamwork issue.
40:12
[SPEAKER_00]: This issue of that is a writing issue, but all these girls are doing it together, serving down, or trying to, like, expose girls to other girls with different stories, different families.
40:22
[SPEAKER_00]: The other portion is like 20% would be mentor voices like other older women.
40:27
[SPEAKER_00]: We want them to see down the line like who they can become, what they're capable of in the kingdom of God.
40:33
[SPEAKER_00]: And so it's a lot of it's exposure.
40:35
[SPEAKER_00]: But I would say belonging as much as identity as a big belonging would probably be the biggest component kind of within that.
40:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Because most girls, they don't feel like they fit in, they don't feel like they belong right now.
40:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Social media comparison, all the things is massive problem.
40:51
[SPEAKER_00]: helping continue winter's vision.
40:53
[SPEAKER_00]: She saw that kind of way early on and just kind of started speaking into it, so.
40:57
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's amazing.
40:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Well Jonathan, thanks for all that you're doing.
41:02
[SPEAKER_01]: And you said to me recently, and if this isn't public knowledge and we can cut it out with basically, you feel a call to, for lack of a better way of saying it to not be in front of the cameras.
41:14
[SPEAKER_01]: In front of the mic all the time now that you wanna coach up other people
41:19
[SPEAKER_01]: I, when you were saying that, I thought, you know what, that's really like just a sign of maturity of like, what is, in, by the way, Jonathan Jung, younger than I am.
41:26
[SPEAKER_01]: But what's that legacy look, what does that legacy look like?
41:28
[SPEAKER_01]: And it looks, to me, just watching you and all the wisdom and that you've been really forced into in a lot of ways.
41:34
[SPEAKER_01]: But wanting to make sure that that is passed down, not just through the magazine, but also just instead of making it about you, you want to make, you want to raise up other leaders.
41:41
[SPEAKER_01]: And so, I mean, what a incredible heart, anything, anything the Lord's doing there that you want to end us with.
41:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, for 20 years, I've served visionary leaders kind of as an integrator, like I've basically taken their vision and implemented it with my own skill set, my own gifts, my own capacity.
41:58
[SPEAKER_00]: And I feel like God's been shifting me kind of into a new season where instead of coming under integrators to kind of implement the thing they need.
42:07
[SPEAKER_00]: He's calling me a long side of visionary leaders to help them kind of see further them a route.
42:13
[SPEAKER_00]: And be a partner to serve their vision and not be the one working it all out because the problem is I might be young to use it, but I'm getting old and like I want to actually be helping I want to help I want to help raise up other leaders and I've got gifts that I've got talent I've got a little bit of wisdom stored up that I can help with that without kind of killing myself trying to fix it with these problems.
42:36
[SPEAKER_00]: proactively directly, you know, so yeah, just I'm stepping into some coaching and it's I'm already doing it.
42:41
[SPEAKER_00]: It's been a lot of fun and excited about the potential that God has me in that.
42:45
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like in my 50s I want to give my life to coaching other, I say young leaders but really just leaders that are that God's given a specific vision to and just come alongside in the part with them.
42:55
[SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, thanks for letting me share.
42:57
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, it's amazing.
42:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Alright, well, you guys can find Jonathan Pitz on, are you on to Jonathan Pitz on Instagram,
43:03
[SPEAKER_00]: I think my name is PitsJR26, but if you search Java from Pits you should find me.
43:07
[SPEAKER_00]: You'll find him.
43:09
[SPEAKER_00]: PitsJR26.
43:10
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
43:10
[SPEAKER_01]: All right.
43:11
[SPEAKER_01]: And for girls like you, you can find all the things that will link it in Pakistan.
43:15
[SPEAKER_01]: All right.
43:15
[SPEAKER_01]: John with the Pits.
43:16
[SPEAKER_01]: Thanks for being here.
43:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks, Cynthia.
43:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Great for for you.
43:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Alright, thank you, thank you, thank you to Jonathan Pitz.
43:22
[SPEAKER_01]: I hope that encouraged you, and again, I would love you to share this with friends, family, and go to CynthiaGannell.com, throw in your email there, and we will be talking about things to come in the fall.
43:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Next week is Melissa Radke, another fun crazy show, and thanks you guys so much for being a part of the mesmerized family.
43:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you very much.