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What If The Scariest Jump Is The Right One · The Leader Mentality

• 0:21
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Leader Mentality Show with Rob Clemens.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: We are in sunny Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, and it's an exciting day.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_01: I have a guest on the show today that we've been talking about doing this for at least a year.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: And one thing leads to the other.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes, you know, I think we can all relate with this.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: You have the best intentions, and you know, busy people get busy.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: And we talk about this, I call it the busy person problem.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: Uh is when you're trying to line up two people and uh a little easier said than done.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: But before we get into all that, I want to do a little uh uh shout of appreciation to all the people who voted for us.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: Leader Mentality Show was actually voted best of South Carolina Business Consulting.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: So Leader Mentality Business Consulting.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: Well, thank you so much.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, we we don't do it for the recognition, uh kind of like I think anybody who's in a great leadership position, but we do it because we're compelled to, because we're passionate about it.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: And uh and I think that is a great segue for what we're gonna talk about today.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_01: So without further ado, today, if you're a listener on the show, of the show, I think that some of the reasons you listen are maybe you want to be a better leader, maybe you're a great leader that's trying to grow.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: We're always growing, right?
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you might be a manager of a team, you might be somebody who has uh got aspirations of being the best in your group.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I believe leadership is all about that.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: We have to find ways to grow and push through to the next levels.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_01: But anybody who knows my definition of leadership, it is a leader is the one who changes their domain around them for the best, okay, for the best good.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: And if you look at my leader acronym, it starts off with something that is learning continuously.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: I believe if you want to be a great leader, you always have to be learning.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: And so today, as uh I I can't say her name yet.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: I want to do a proper introduction, but as we were talking about what this show was going to be, it's all about leadership is learning, and learning is leadership.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: You can never stop growing, and if you stop growing, you die.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: Ask some of the big companies of I don't even want to say their names on the show, but look back 20 years and think about some of the big companies that you remember 20 years ago that aren't here today.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: What were they learning or not learning when the industry was changing?
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: So today is about leadership with learning and learning.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I have a guest on the show.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_01: She has done a tremendous things around her career, and we're going to talk about that on the show.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, she is a local media personality.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_01: You heard her on the radio, you've seen her on TV, you've seen her at public appearances.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: She is also uh doing a very fabulous real estate business.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: And so without further ado, welcome to the show, Ruthie LeMay.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you, Rob.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_02: Well, Ruthie, yes.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: I I'm I'm very excited to have you on the show, Ruthie.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_02: I am very excited to be here.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for having me.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_02: Uh between you and I, you call it the busy person problem, and I think we're diagnosed as ADHD.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_02: But neither of us are doctors, so we won't go there.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you you know, I I I do believe that sometimes even if you are not clinically diagnosed, you can look at the things and go, oh yeah, that's me.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_01: You start checking all the boxes.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and you talk about never stop learning, yeah.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_02: And I think at my age, I'm 48, about to turn 49.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_02: Um, that is something that I've come to learn.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_02: Very recently, I wish I'd learned earlier, but I've never stopped learning through having all these different careers and living in all these different countries.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_02: And congratulations on your business consulting because I never think about you in that sense.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_02: I think about you from a building sense from South Carolina Home Builders Um Organized Break Association and everything you do for the trades in our area and things like that.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_02: But what I really admire about you, and why we also have taken ages probably to get together is you are also always like pivoting and seeing, okay, what else can I add to the business?
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_02: What will allow the businesses that I already have, the skill set I already have grow?
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_02: Who do I need to be around in order to make that happen?
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, I'm I'm sitting here looking, I don't know exactly what you're doing with this tactic, but with all the accolades.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: She's very American.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: For those listening on the radio, she's looking at our plaques on the wall.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: They're only there so that people can look at them and see how good we are.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, no.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you know, you gotta put them somewhere and look up marketing tips.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: Make sure you, you know, if you're proud of something, let people know.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_02: Well, but I also think it's a it's um, you know, it gives you something to look at and realize that you have built all these skill sets and visuals.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_02: You have continued, you have continued to learn.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_02: And many of us, myself included, have to start over again and again in life for various reasons.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_02: And now I try and always bring it back to me first in terms of an individual.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm leading myself to learn.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_02: That's the first person I lead now.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_02: Whereas I think years ago growing up and into my first jobs, um, they were, you know, very they were great jobs, but I felt a lot of pressure to become a leader of other people very quickly.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_02: And looking back, I I don't think that that I don't see how we can even do that at a young age.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: I you know, but that's normal.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: I I think it's normal to feel this pressure to be a leader.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, this is gonna be interesting that I'm gonna say this, but it's the leader mentality show.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: But I feel like this sometimes when people think of leadership, they immediately think like, oh, I gotta be what would actually be defined as being the manager.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna tell people what to do and get them in the right spot.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: Whereas I think great leadership is saying, How can I make the person next to me better?
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: Not necessarily by being in charge, but why do we feel at that young age like we all have to be shooting through the ranks and becoming in charge and helping people uh to in a leadership position, why do we feel that pressure at such a young age?
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_02: Well, for me, it it simply was what I wanted to do.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_02: So I was always the one to stand up in assembly and give the speech, or you know, I I had uh I had a lot of confidence, and so teachers, parents, just the world around me would constantly put me into a leadership role, whether I wanted to be or not.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, and so then we start conforming to what those around us put as their bias onto us, even as children.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_02: And that led me to think, okay, I'm an achiever, I must be a manager, I must be a leader, and I was interested in military, and so the natural path was to go to be an officer of like I chose the Air Force.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_02: But looking back, and and although I completed the officer and air crew selection uh in England, which would have been uh as an intelligence officer, I didn't take it at the last minute and I remember my dad being so angry because it was such an incredible achievement, again, from his point of view and from others' point of views.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_02: And I thought, yes, but uh I don't actually want to do this.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_02: It was almost like I'd been given the opportunity, I'd got through, and then thought, wait a minute.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_02: And so I think that for me it was very stigmatized almost from a young age that you know this is this is your route.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_02: You will lead, people will follow, you will be the kept singing of the hockey team, you will you know what I mean?
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_02: It's very small things, and I think it takes a lot of different life experiences for us to to be chipped away at our own childhood, if you like, no matter how great it was, you know.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not bashing my parents or anybody around me or anything like that.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_01: But um, were you the oldest sibling?
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, did you have siblings and were you the oldest?
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so I'm one of four.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but I'm a blended family.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_02: But I grew up with my big brother, um, who's seven years older than me, and he very much was like took me under his wing.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_02: And so, and he went into the Navy, and so this is where my love of cars come from, is because I grew up with his car toys and his and he's a crane driver now as well.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_02: And like, so I'm a bit of a gearhead, like, because my little brother and I would just lay on the floor and zoom around with toy cars rather than Barbies, right?
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_02: So, um, and then I have a sister younger than me and a younger brother.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and all of us have served actually, which is interesting.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: So again, well, well done, man.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: I can always respect a family that's all committed to the military.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I I think that I I I think my parents, going back to what I was saying about, you know, what what is your perception of leadership?
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_02: How do we get there?
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and how does that change as we evolve and learn or or not, is that my mum and dad, right?
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_02: Your parents are trying, most parents are trying to do the best they can.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_02: And for them, we were a lot.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_02: And so the one thing that military also offers, the same as the world over, is at a young age, your parents can get you to leave home and join.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_02: So, but also it gives you structure, it gives you routine, it gives you challenge, um, it forces you to meet others, you know, um, from different cultures, from different parts of the world.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and my parents were all for that.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: I agree with that.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I grew up in the military, you know, my father was Air Force, and you know, I I found that as being a kid, uh you have a different perception on life.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_01: And then, you know, so I I lived through that up until I went to college.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like the military lifestyle, uh, you do see a good blend of different people from different areas of the country.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and this is a shout to the military in general.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: You know, sometimes if you grow up in a small town, nothing wrong with that, but you tend to know what's in your small town.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: But when you're in the military, not only are you moving around and trying different places, but people from other places are blending with you.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I feel like that will always give me a little bit of a jump.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_02: Without you realizing it, maybe.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_02: But the one thing I would say though is then the flip side to that is you are you you do you do become pigeonholed also because you're within a system and um and it's a system I agree with actually, but for me uh at at a young age, I already felt, even though it was everything that I seemingly wanted to do, an almost kind of switch went as a revolt, and all of a sudden I wanted to go to London and be in the equivalent like of Wall Street and just have that life because it seemed much more freeing and much more you can make of it what you will.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_01: Whereas how old were you at this point?
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_02: So I was 22, so in England we we go through university, college um much quicker.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_02: We don't have we don't have the kind of seven years, this is all of your money that you're gonna spend on college.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so and you can get through quicker if you want as well.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_02: So I went up, I think, what you go up about 18 to if you're going to take that route.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm the only one in my family that did take that route.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_02: Um and you finish usually a master's or three years.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_02: Uh well, and uh you call it I'm trying to think of the different languages so that people the different terms.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we would call it undergrad.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_01: We would go from a bachelor's degree to a master's degree to a doctorate if you're following the the four-year university course kind of Right.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_02: I just I felt that everybody that was American that was in my university um was in their like fifth and sixth years without being doctors.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_02: They were in, you know, so I just found that very strange.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_02: Um in England it's very much, you know, you go through, you do your bachelor's is three years, master's is four years, doctorate, all of that.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_02: But yeah, so I I went through in three years, got my bachelor's, I was offered to go up to Cambridge to do a doctorate, uh what we call an MPhil um in intelligence studies.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_02: But I couldn't see myself just sitting being a professor.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think anyone could have seen me in that book.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_02: That sounds wrong, but anyway.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_02: Um but yeah, I the the thing is I had this plan, and then it was almost like I could envision the future.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_02: And literally I was sitting in the board, in the commissioning board, and I just thought, I don't want this.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_02: And there was a lot of guilt on my part because I I got what many people had wanted and didn't get, and and now I've got it, and I I'm just walking away.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_02: I think that I've had many careers and I've lived in many different places around the world and met many different people because I do have I think it's almost like it is like an attention deficit, but when I say I like to learn all the time, it's almost like when once I'm bored or once I feel like I've um naturally got to the end of what I can learn, I I am curious to what's next.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_02: I don't like just being still.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_02: I don't like the comfort, I suppose.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_01: So something that happens for uh I I think it happens with entrepreneurs a lot, is that and and I'm not saying you fit in this box or not, but you can maybe speak to it.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_01: Uh we feel, and if you're listening to the show and you felt this, I want you to know it's kind of normal, but we do have to find a way to not just constantly be jumping from foot to foot because of what I'm about to say.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_01: And that is that we love creating, we are stimulated by the creation.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's it it makes us feel passionate and alive and motivated.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_01: And once the thing has been created, the thing has been accomplished, now we feel like now what?
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: And now you feel that pressure like you need to go maybe almost do something different.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: Did that apply at all?
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_01: Or is this just more like 50%?
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, okay, gotcha.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, because it wasn't the first so from the RAF, I went to London and I got an amazing job with Pricewaterhouse Cooper's, which is one of the big it was big five at the time, but it's big four now.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_02: So PwC, it's a huge accountancy firm, and it it straight into a niche um role as well.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_02: And within two years, now I'm not gonna say I was bored, there were things that happened out of my control, so this was a huge learning curve for me because I I went from saying no to the RAF to to going, oh my gosh, I just walked straight into this creme de la creme job, you know, a postgraduate job in London, all the things I wanted.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_02: Nice wearing my little pinstripe suit, you know, I thought it was the business, and um and then I was in a cubicle.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_02: And I remember sitting in the cubicle and filling out my timesheet of a hundred and ten hour weeks.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_01: 40-hour week uh normally, but you're doing 110 hours.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_02: And your your time is being billed every six minutes to the biggest companies in the world.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_02: So IBM, um, Proctor and Gamble.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, nowadays it would be like, you know, um SpaceX, Google, um, you know, but the back in the day it was Ericsson, they're not even around anymore.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_02: But then this is how that as I was feeling that um you guys had September the 11th.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_02: And then Enron collapsed.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_02: And Enron was one of our biggest clients.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_02: And we were in international I was in international tax, and so we dealt largely with Americans being in England and around the world, and we'd helped them with their global mobility, including taxation, legal, all of it.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and just like that, with Enron collapsing and September the 11th, in 2002, they got rid of the entire department in England, in the UK.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_02: And from partners right down to you know, junior consultants like that.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and so you know, like I'm talking about life events happen that sometimes you're forced to change and forced to relearn.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_02: You know, what was I gonna do?
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_02: That that's it, what's next?
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_02: The next morning you don't have your job.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_02: It was my first at 23 or so, my first experience of carrying like that box out of a huge um, you know, city building.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: Literally carrying your box with your possessions in it outside the door.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I gotcha.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, um, and immediately thinking, okay, now what?
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, I couldn't have seen that coming.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_02: There was absolutely nothing anybody could do, and um so you know, you would you adapt and you change, and that was one of the first skills I think I learned in terms of where I'm at now that how to roll with changes because then it happened again two years later in an investment bank.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_02: They were bought by another investment bank, and so I was never having a problem to get the next job or whatever, and and this is the other thing, okay.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_02: It was always a job.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_02: And after the investment bank issue, uh well, um re- you guys called restructuring, yeah.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, I got through the restructuring and I carried on.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_02: And there was just something that I thought, I'm doing all these hours and all this work, but I'm still limited.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_02: And so we were still in the kind of the beginning of the 2000s, the dot-com boomer just happened and crashed.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_02: And from what I knew from then doing all my investment exams and mortgage exams and insurance exams and pension exams and financial advisor exams, which all of these banks and consultancy firms put me through, is that I recognized, and from being around people that also were ahead of me and knew in life, okay, we're onto something with property.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_02: And that was the beginning of the huge property boom that then you and I both know about crashed in 2008.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I you know, look, we're talking about the the building uh boom and crash.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_01: So the boom was happening in 2005, 2006, it was really good.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_01: It was already starting to crash in 2007.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I was in home building, so I know what you're talking about.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of people thought um, you know, it we're still jamming in 2007.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_02: A lot of people thought I'm in my twenties, right?
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_02: I'm in my mid-20s.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_02: All my friends are in their mid-20s.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_02: Everyone's driving Ferraris, everyone's got 80 odd rental properties, all on interest only.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_02: You know, refinance, refinance, refinance.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so when do you learn from that?
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_01: And and here's what we really found, and there's a cautionary tell in this, which is that you have to always know that uh people tend to make emotional decisions.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_01: Emotional decisions were being made at that time.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_01: The banks were making emotional decisions, but people were making emotional decisions.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_01: They're wow, right now everything's selling, so let's go buy.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_01: Not logic, not studying, not thinking.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: And so I knew plenty of people who were just buying like no tomorrow because up until then they have been flipping properties and making tons of money.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but guess what?
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_01: When the market crashed and you were stuck with the properties that you had just bought, yeah, a lot of people went out of business that day.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_01: So, anyway, just I know per particularly what you're talking about about the thrills of victory and then feeling like, oh man, everything just hit the fan.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_01: So there you go.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean, once again, I'm dealing with in my mind, in my late 20s now, circumstances beyond my control.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, right?
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_02: So, like, you know, the Price Waterhouse thing, and all that, not my fault.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_02: You know, um, the investment banks restructuring, not my fault.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_02: So then I take control that what I'd learnt in my mid-20s was take control of your own destiny.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_02: Just jump, okay.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_02: Jump.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_02: I was already renting out my house that I bought at like a really young age to all of my friends that were living with me, you know.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm like, okay, I can make and I'm I'm already now with a bunch of real estate investors within um Southampton in England and London.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, and I'm watching them and I'm thinking, okay, they're all guys, okay, they're all men, but I'm thinking I can do this, I got it.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_02: And so I got I I got a taste for it at the beginning of what we now know was the boom, around the 2004.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, you know what?
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_02: I've got this house, I'll refinancing, I'll buy another house, and then I was just off because I wasn't going to be one more time let go from another amazing job.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, I needed to be in control.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_02: That was so scary though.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_02: None of my family, other than my father looking back, um, are kind of entrepreneurs, none of them really bounced around.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_02: They are all very my little brother's still in the military, my big brother was in the mil in the navy, my sister was a police officer, you know, very what I would call more stable.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_01: I would call it structured types of lifestyles versus going in entrepreneurship, which is completely unstructured, except for what you create for yourself.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you've got nothing.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_02: You've got like no safety net.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_01: It's terrifying.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_02: And then to then think, check me out in my late 20s, I'm making this happen.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_02: I'm living in the south of France and Monaco, and like, you know, doing what we call gentlemen agreements of like lots of thousands of dollars to lend people for three days, and then they're giving it back to me with interest.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, I'm I'm just look at me.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, like, in all honesty, I'm asking a real question.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_01: Is the ego just popping through the roof at that point?
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, what yeah, right.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_01: So you're thinking you're on top of the world.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_02: Everybody's, yes.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm around everybody's who's also doing that.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_02: And then we go smack into the crash, and I saw someone jump from their building in Monaco.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_02: I saw other people kill them.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_02: themselves through alcohol and drugs and just not understanding literally that a massive rug had just been pulled.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_01: Is this after the crash?
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, from the from the property boom because everybody I was around was either in finances as well, like it was all linked to property.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_02: And the one thing that I'd already learned is that you know what?
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_02: I managed to get rid of most of my properties before they started going underwater, and I packed everything down.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_02: I I lost everything also.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_02: I should caveat.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_02: I lost everything.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_01: So here you are, you have all this money that you build up, but now you lose it.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, from Monaco to money less.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_01: From Monaco to money.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_01: Are we talking about like um a hundred thousand dollars?
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_02: No, we're talking more.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_01: Oh really?
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, like a lot more.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_02: In a lot more.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, all right.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_01: So this is big money.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_01: This isn't like a little thing.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_02: No, it's it's it's it's the kind of loss that made people I lost many children.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_01: Jump off of buildings and I lost phones, yeah.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_02: And but what I took from that was you know what?
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_02: Where next?
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_02: There's no I'd already seen with earlier in my in different careers, but in my careers, you know, these huge companies that had like and and too big, too big to fail, I'd already learned.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_02: And so I'm like, okay, I'm not even near that level, but I've just failed.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_02: You know, what would they do?
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_02: What would I do now?
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_02: Change my environment.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_02: So I went to Australia.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_02: I packed everything up and just like to Australia.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_02: No, no, let me ask you.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_01: I really want to unpack this.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_01: At 31, so you're making this major, major life change.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_01: And and and again, the theme of the show is leadership is learning.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_01: So but but tell me why the environment mattered so much to you at that point to make that dramatic of a change.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_02: Because I already knew.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_02: I already knew from the RAF and from even younger that there was something innate in me that uh a very gut instinct as well, that if I don't feel that I'm in the right place, literally, physically, because the energy around me doesn't feel right, then it has time to move.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_02: And that's innate in all of us, right?
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_02: That's a that's a f um a fight or flight.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_02: Um that's all in all of our brains.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_02: And I think the earlier that you tap into that and you use it to your benefit, the better you will be also.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_02: So I could just be stuck in the fear, right?
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_02: The the flight.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_02: So I always joke that like, well, I did fly, I flew to Australia, but I also did it as part of the fight because I just thought, okay, let me get away from everybody and everything and just take a minute.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_01: And if I may interject on that, and I think this is important to sometimes really, really talk about what's going on in your mind at that point.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_01: Your environment is so important to people that you have no clue how important it is.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_01: You hit on two major things.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_01: You talked about the people around you.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_01: You remember how a minute ago you said the people around you, they're spending money and they're they're making money, and you have all this, this is what your environment was telling you.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_01: Then the crash happens, and sometimes we get stuck like in a quagmire, if you will, and and well, you don't know the power of changing your environment.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_01: So maybe changing the people around you naturally.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if that's what you were thinking when you did it, but you did it.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean, and I look back and uh when I was young, my now I can look back and see that at 10 years old my father himself had like everything, and he was in insurance and went through the 1987 crash, the stock market crash.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_02: And so I was in this private school, and overnight myself along with other pupils were pulled out and we were in public schools, and there was no money, yeah, and people lost the money, yeah, you know.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_02: So um and what are you gonna do?
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_02: I still had to get up and go to school, and so what am I gonna do at 31?
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, okay, I've still got to keep going.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_02: Do I want to go back to work for somebody?
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_02: No, I know that I've proved that I can do I can work for myself, okay, and I can be in control of my s my destiny if you like.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_02: But w what now?
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, well, travel has always been a big part of my life, and I figured I'd literally just draw a line through the centre of the earth and go to the other side and see what was going on.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_02: Honestly, that's what I thought.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, maybe I get a bar job, maybe, but what I knew is that I had to arrive in Australia before um I was 32 or before I was 31, um, because we have a whole year visa given to us as as British nationals.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_02: We can go to Australia and you don't have to, it's not just 90 days, right?
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_02: So if I made the move, it could be very like I'm going for a year.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_01: What would why 31?
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_02: I don't it's just a a visa, um a visa treaty between Great Britain and the U.S.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_01: But if you're older than 31, you can't do it.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_02: Then then the time um comes down or you have to have one in your bank account.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_02: Or there's different visa levels, yeah.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_02: So myself and two girlfriends, we just I packed up, I knew that I had the three properties I'm carrying now vastly underwater.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, like I'm in Australia and I'm 31 and I'm licking my wounds and I'm thinking, okay, partly I think I was over there so that I didn't also have to see anybody else.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_02: But I knew, right?
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_02: So there's there's definitely an amount of flight in that.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah, uh I get that.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_01: I think we I think we can all relate with that, yeah.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that you know, from that experience, it's like it's okay to fail.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it doesn't feel great at the time, and trust me, it's happened more than once again since, but boy, it's okay.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's okay to fail, it's okay to not have your job, it's okay to have the relationship go sideways, it's okay to just you know slap yourself in the face sometimes and go, what?
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_02: How did this happen?
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean I think it's part of your life growth.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_01: It's part of the learning that you talked about earlier, you know, and and if you as I've always said, if you make a mistake and you learn nothing from it, it will always just be a mistake.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_01: If you make a mistake, or in these cases, some of the things you're mentioning are not mistakes, they're things that happen to you in life, but if you learn something from it, it becomes a very powerful life wisdom lesson.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_02: Right, and I would say anyone listening as well that is in one of those moments in life, and I have to tell myself this too, yeah, is sit with it, like acknowledge it.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_02: I find that really helpful.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_02: And I have therapy once a week.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and uh that's a really big tool for me, just to sit with someone completely different and just chat through how I'm feeling.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_02: Um, what's been good, what's been bad, am I on track?
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_02: Like, am I pushing too hard?
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I know exactly what you mean.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_01: And one thing I will say about that is it's important to sometimes be able to talk out what's going on in your mind, you know?
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_01: Because we tend to bottle up stuff or say, I can't really talk about this.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_01: You get it out of your yourself, you put it in there, and you'll start working it out on your on your own sometimes.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_01: Have you ever noticed that?
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_01: They're asking you questions, you start working it out as you're talking, you're you may be talking it out, but you're actually like, but if I had done this, this might happen.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_01: And now you're back to the accountability.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_02: And and that that, yeah, and it really brings me to what I've done in the recent years here, which is talk, right?
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_02: People here know me really for talking, talking on the radio or interviewing people.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_02: And really, I find that talking is an incredible tool and it can't be overstated.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_02: And I would encourage, especially guys out there, because I don't think men are as good as women at talking, but like just shout out women.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_02: But just talk, like, even just talk out loud to yourself, talk to the mirror.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know, talk your thoughts out, you know, write them down, whatever.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_02: But the point is that so I'm in Australia and I'm like literally in that place, like, you know, what the F, you know, and like talking to the sea and the dolphins, and just like people probably thought I was crazy.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_02: Um and then the phone rings, and it's my friend who I now know owned a theatre in South Carolina, but he knew me from Monaco, he knew me from entertainment um and my my life back there.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_02: And he said, Listen, I know you're just bumming around in Australia, um, and you're lost.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_02: And again, this is about the people that you meet, and you know, he was about twice my age, and you know, he'd made something from nothing many, many times.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_02: Self-taught.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_02: And he said, Would you, if I paid, you've got a management consultancy background, would you just pop over for like a month?
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_02: I'll send you back to uh um Australia.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_02: I know I said no, I need time out, I need to, and that's the the other thing.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I'm so happy that he reached out and gave me that nudge because I was like, no, I'm just gonna sit.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_02: And you can sit too long, right?
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_02: You can sit with yourself too long.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, I agree, I agree.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_01: Petrify after you sit too long.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's fear sets in.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, like indecision sets in.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_02: So I said yes again, and I got on a plane and I left my two girlfriends that I'd gone to Australia with.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_02: I said, Hey, I'll be back in a month.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just gonna take this job real quick.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_02: It's similar to what I used to do, management consultancy, six weeks, in, out.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know where I'm going, probably Florida.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_02: But I ended up in South Carolina in Myrtle Beach.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_02: And that's where the theatre was.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't know.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_02: But that's how I got to America.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_01: This this was the palace?
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_02: And David King.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_02: Shout out to David, shout out to Jamie, who's still here, shout out to Simon who um was the one I fired.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_02: I told him, I told him, don't be scared.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_02: You have this incredible creativity, you've always wanted to go to the West Coast.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_02: You have seen how David's built things, you've seen how Jamie logistically operates things, who is the manager here still at Broadway.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, just go for it.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_02: And he did.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_02: And he sold to Cirque de Soleil for 42 million.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_01: Oh man, that's so cool.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_01: You look so if if I could take a step back there, you said something really, really interesting to me, right?
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_01: You you said that this person that called you, what was his name?
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, can you share it?
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_02: David King.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_01: That was David King, okay.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_01: He calls you, uh, is David David's an American guy?
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_02: No, David's English.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, okay, he's English too.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, from the north of England, from Yorkshire.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, cool.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_01: From from back in the uh old country.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_01: I lived in England best one accent.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but no, let me ask you.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_01: He knew you well enough to say, hey, look, you're in Australia.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_01: You use the term, I don't know if you're just joking, where you said he said you're out kind of bumming around in Australia.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_01: He knew you that hard, knew to give you a nudge, knew to kind of like get you back in the game a little bit.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_02: He felt, I think that my he was he he was about twice my age, I think, at that point, and he's still around, so if I've got that wrong, David, sorry.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_02: But um I think he had a knack, he he is one of those people that has a knack for seeing what you've got in yourself that you maybe don't know.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_02: So I thought, oh my god, I've just had this horrendous failure.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_02: Like, and I was all this and that, and now I'm not.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_02: And he saw who he met in Monaco and who he'd got to know, which was a sum of all of my skills learnt to date.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_02: And knew that I was just kind of hanging over in Australia, spinning my wheels.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_02: And and well, there's this person with a skill set that I can put right now for six weeks in somewhere where I know I need them, but I don't want to go into a massive consultancy firm or anything.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_02: And and yeah, he he he he nudged me and I got back on I got on the plane and came to America.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I think that's important right now, you know, is is we talk about people and differences you can make in people's lives.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's sometimes it's just that general nudge, and you may not make you may not know you did it.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I'm saying?
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_01: There may be somebody in your life right now that you're thinking about, you might have made that one comment that changed their life for the better.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_01: You didn't even know you did it.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_01: But that's why we should always keep our eyes for it and look at the best in people, see where people could really fit in.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_01: So pay to do.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_02: And if people see in you what you don't see in yourself all the time, you know, often maybe you think people are looking at you negatively, but another skill I've had to learn very recently is to really just embrace the positives that people see in you.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_02: You know, don't be so hard on yourself.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_01: Know that people like you.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and too, you said something about visual cues, you know.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_01: One thing that happens is very natural.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_01: We start getting kind of down on ourselves sometimes, and you never take that chance to look and go, look at all I've accomplished, yeah.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_01: Even when something hasn't really gone your way recently, or maybe you're having the grind, but you look at that thing on the wall, it could be a plaque or it could be something that you uh were recognized for, and you go, Man, I have come a long way.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean look, I've walked into here and I've known you for a while.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_02: But I was just like, this is amazing, I love it, this is fantastic.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_02: Congratulations, you know, and and and also by acknowledging other people's joy in seeing your positives, y I'm a big believer in the energy rate.
• 35:23
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, for sure.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_02: And and I think that that knocks on back to them and off into the universe, and you know, it's kind of woo-woo, but uh that's the way I choose to try and live life.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_01: I I mean I love that.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_01: And and now here we are.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_01: Now we got into the present day, and I got questions for you.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_01: How about that?
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, because no, I know you you you came here and you did what you did.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_01: You ended up in media, you've been working uh I've the first time I met you it was on a radio show.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_01: And you're doing an interview.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_01: By the way, a great interviewer.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_01: You are you you asked the great questions, and especially in these quick bursts, you know.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_01: I'm coming on the show for five or ten minutes, and I think we spent 15 minutes the first time I was home.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_01: But you're asking these questions and and we're we have to quick burst it.
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_01: How did you learn that skill set?
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_02: Growing up in a big family.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_01: Why did you do that?
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_02: Well, if you don't pipe if you don't pipe up, then you're not gonna be heard.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_02: But then if you're being heard too much, someone's gonna put you back in your place, right?
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_02: It's like a it's like a natural selection, there's not much to it.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_02: Um but then um I I ref to be fair, I refined that skill set through debating.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_02: And I did international politics and law and intelligence, and so I I went, I did internships at the European Parliament, and I did internships at Reuters, the huge news agency.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_02: And so again, who knew that when I was 18, 19, 20, doing these internships?
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_02: Shout out if you're young and you're out there and you think, I fancy trying that, just go and knock on someone's door and say to them, Hey, can I help you with that?
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_02: You don't know, they may say yes, right?
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_02: Always put yourself in a place where you have an opportunity and you can say yes.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, always try something new.
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, and uh and and even in team meetings they're talking about the the AMCC, you know, that that part of the brain where you can grow it just by trying new things.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_02: 100%.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_02: So what I didn't know then is that what am I now 48?
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_02: So I was saying 18, so what's that, 30 years, 30 years later, all of those techniques from debating and Reuters of big media company and European Parliament and being around politicians and and um you know news people and things would come back and land right in my lap to help me with live radio every morning.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_01: I completely agree with you.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_02: No, I how can you you can't connect the dots backwards until they happen like that, you know?
• 37:42
  SPEAKER_01: The only time you don't do that is when you have a very negative outlook.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_01: You know, if we get through life and we're like just one stupid thing's happening after another and then you die one day.
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_01: I I think some people have taken that viewpoint, but that's the wrong viewpoint.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_01: Because, like you said, when you're in that that school and you're doing that thing that you thought you were never gonna do again, well, here you are, you circle around years later, and that became a vehicle for you to get to the next successes that you've been doing lately.
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_02: So and the same with real estate.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_02: I was I was traumatized by what happened in 2008.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_02: So much so that I came over here and you know how many times I've thought, just sit down, do your realtor license.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_02: You know you love it.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_02: But I haven't been able to.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_01: But well, you're so you're feeling let's go to that mode of where you're at in your thoughts.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_01: So you probably had this underscore of negativity based on you know making so much money but losing it.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_01: And that and whether you're thinking it right off the bat or not, you have to be thinking, like, well, do I want to get in this again?
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_01: Never.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_01: Never.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean, literally, I I've been I was so much trauma from that, which I've only just unpacked in the last few years.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, okay.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_02: And I did that when COVID hit, and I I guess something else in my brain was like, ooh, there's a boom happening.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_02: It was like a subconscious thing that I could feel and see a property boom in front of me happening.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_02: Why?
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_02: Because I'd seen it in before.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, right.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_01: Well, the cycle comes back around.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_02: Everything is cyclical, right?
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_02: So and I was sitting there thinking, well, where do I start?
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_02: I don't even like, and then I had a a big life event, a couple of very big life events, and that stalled me for a little bit.
• 39:26
  SPEAKER_02: And then again, I kind of had to pick myself up and go, wait, where did that nugget of thought go about going back into real estate?
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_02: And I had a very quiet period a few years ago, and I had about six weeks.
• 39:42
  SPEAKER_02: And I just thought, you know what?
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna take my realtor exam.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_02: Let's see where this goes.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_02: And I've kind of been doing it.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_02: I say I I joke that I'm the only secret realtor that you'll know.
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_02: Because of course, realtors, especially in America, are not secret, right?
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like everybody, the milkman's a realtor, right?
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_02: Um, we don't have milkman anymore, but you know what I mean?
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_02: No, I don't.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like the vet is a realtor.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_02: Like everybody on the other side of their card, we laugh about it in England, is like, and also I'm a realtor.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, you know, in Myrtle Beach, it's definitely a thing.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I mean, like, literally.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_01: And and you know, that's interesting because I want to talk about that for a minute.
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, because I didn't tell anybody.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_01: Well, well, you so you were keeping that yourself from what reason?
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_01: Was it was it because of the fact that you weren't sure if you wanted to be in there?
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think it was still part of trauma and confidence, and also um falling into this role in Myrtle Beach where people thought they knew me because of being in the media.
• 40:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's uh it's a thing.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_01: Oh well, that's exactly what I meant earlier when we were talking about this.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_01: I think people think they see the media personality, they're like, oh yeah, real estate.
• 40:49
  SPEAKER_01: What you know, what's that to do with anything?
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, well, you might be the greatest real estate agent in the history of Myrtle Beach, but you know, how do the people know?
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and for me, you know, the amount of people that said, Oh, great, you're real to 5,917.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_02: You know, the kind of comments that people bring to this industry as well is incredible.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_02: And I would just, but something in me also clicked.
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_02: It was almost like a and if you again, entrepreneurs I think often have this, and people that have changed their life many times for many reasons, and continue to and continue to try and learn from those changes, is that some at some point there's a switch where you just go, yeah, watch me.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right?
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_02: And someone said that, and it was a very good friend, and I just looked at her and I said there may be 5,979 other realtors, but not one of them is me.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_01: Mm-hmm.
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_02: Bring it.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_02: That whole that switch.
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_01: The mindset of that.
• 41:51
  SPEAKER_01: Well, no, no, let's talk about that.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_01: So, and and we have a few minutes left.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_01: I want to talk about the life of a realtor in Myrtle Beach.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_01: And you're starting this as a new venture, you're not new to real estate, but maybe new to Myrtle Beach real estate.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_02: I'm definitely new to um what US real estate, but I ha it hasn't almost been two years.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_02: I just I've only very recently ripped the band-aid off and done what everybody knows that I'm I'm good at, which is social media and promoting myself and branding and everything like that.
• 42:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 42:17
  SPEAKER_02: But it took about 18 months.
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_02: But in those 18 months, I've been under some very capable wings and worked with uh a broker and their team and been involved in lots of transactions and lots of contracts and everything else.
• 42:31
  SPEAKER_02: Who shout out to Berkshire Hathaway, Home Real Estate, um, coastal in market common.
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, they just kind of allowed me to be there.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_02: And I would just run off and say, Well, I have to go do a show, I have to go do a show.
• 42:45
  SPEAKER_02: They didn't once say, Okay, well, are you gonna like do any like realty work?
• 42:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and but they knew I was doing it, okay.
• 42:53
  SPEAKER_02: So that's the other thing, being again around an environment and and picking who you're around that really will and nourish you to grow, nudge you enough to not let you just sit and support you in like your own timeline of learning and gaining confidence.
• 43:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_02: And it's you know, it's difficult, it's difficult, no matter what age you are, to keep getting up and keep going and having confidence in yourself.
• 43:29
  SPEAKER_02: But people and the people that you surround yourself with and the people you choose to work with will really be your your greatest support system, I think.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_02: If you that's one that's probably my main my main learning lesson from all the different, you know, careers and and changes in life.
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_01: So you pick pick the people around you carefully, pick your direction carefully when you can, and be prepared to make a change when you have to.
• 43:55
  SPEAKER_01: Well, Ruthie, you know, it it's really cool to have you on the show, and you start off the show, and I Start off the show talking about leadership and learning.
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_01: Leadership is learning.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_01: And you told a beautiful story about, you know, the ups and downs of life and kind of how there can be a triumph story at the end, um, how all those things you learned along the way brought you to this point you're at today and and how they've actually helped you be who you are.
• 44:18
  SPEAKER_01: What would you say to somebody who is finding themselves at a potential transition point in their life and and maybe thinking about making that jump or maybe being forced into making that jump?
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_01: What would your advice be?
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_02: Make the jump in a good way and know that basically don't be scared to jump, right?
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_02: Don't be afraid to start over.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_02: Sit with yourself, acknowledge where you are, try and think of the positives that you have within you.
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_02: And I've had to do it recently.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_02: Why am I a secret realtor in a country where realtors want television programs and all these things, and I know this?
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_02: Why?
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_02: So I had to rip the band-aid off.
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_02: Why am I doing it for a year secretly?
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_02: And it's been the best thing, once again, in my life, that I've done.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_02: Rip the band-aid off, make the jump, don't be afraid to start over.
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, you're not changing from who you are in this moment and how you've become to this moment, okay.
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_02: But you're not looking back, look forward, always look forward.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_02: And don't be scared to jump.
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_01: I love it, I love it.
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that and I and I don't think I could probably say it any better myself.
• 45:40
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna kind of just capitalize on that and say that it's a magical thing when you take that jump and it's scary, it's terrifying.
• 45:47
  SPEAKER_01: But the best things happen to you when you are making that transition.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_01: Think about the hermit crab that's in that one shell.
• 45:53
  SPEAKER_01: It's a little too tight for them, a little too small for them.
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe I've even seen something about you know the chemistry in it is not right for them, but they're staying in it because it's comfortable, or maybe they're just scared to get out.
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, no, you got to get into that next shell, the bigger one, that's your transition to the next stage.
• 46:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I love to hear the story.
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're out there, keep going.
• 46:11
  SPEAKER_01: Ruthie, very good stuff having you on today.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_01: Tell me, how can the people find out more about you?
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I'm with Berkshire Hathaway, Home Services, Coastal Real Estate, which is in Market Common, just uh on the corner at Faroe Parkway, there near 810 bowling.
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_02: And so I'm there, and I think the easiest place, and most people still know me, is from social media.
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_02: And um very big on Facebook.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_02: I would say it's a hidden nugget.
• 46:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, where where's the handle?
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_01: Just so for the people listening.
• 46:41
  SPEAKER_02: Um, well, it's Ruthie, Ruth LeMay, and uh that's pretty much it.
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_01: All right, beautiful.
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_01: Well, hey, thank you for being on the show today.
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_01: For the you guys listening at home, I would tell you uh Ruthie talked today earlier about that mentor, the person who changed her life for the better.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_01: The person who didn't know what they were doing, but they gave her that advice that got her to the next trek in her life.
• 47:02
  SPEAKER_01: Don't ever be afraid to help somebody out.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_01: Don't feel afraid to tell somebody that you think may actually hurt their feelings potentially, but at the end of the day, you can make the difference for them.
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_01: It's that thing that you said to them that helped change it all.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_01: And also be kind, you know, be kind to others.
• 47:19
  SPEAKER_01: Remember there's people out there going through things right now, people you may be in the room with right now listening to this show, and they're going through something.
• 47:27
  SPEAKER_01: So be kind as you're giving guidance, but never quit giving the guidance.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_01: Look forward.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_01: And Ruthie, I appreciate having you on the show.
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_01: For those fans of the show, make sure to like and share us on your social media of choice, Facebook, Instagram, and uh we appreciate you guys listening.
• 47:42
  SPEAKER_01: We'll see you all next time on the Leader Mentality Show or Rob Clemens.