Latest / High n' Dry Podcast / Episode 8. I, Immortal & Gritty vs. The Kool-Aid Man (Feat. Reece Merritt)

Transcript

Episode 8. I, Immortal & Gritty vs. The Kool-Aid Man (Feat. Reece Merritt) · High n' Dry Podcast

• 0:15
  SPEAKER_01: Hello out there.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to High and Dry.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Ryan Barron North, and thank you for joining me as I shatter the Grand Illusion.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: With me as always, we have our resident cannabis enthusiast and former lifeguard, James Croslin.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: James, how are you doing today?
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_03: I'm doing great.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I was a lifeguard for a couple years, a couple summers.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_03: Just be careful when you're swimming.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_03: That's all I gotta say is I I did not pay very good attention.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_03: And if you were ever swimming on my on my watch, you probably would have died.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_01: And also with us today, we have Reese Merritt, comedian, talented individual.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: Reese, how are you doing today?
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm doing pretty good.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: Pretty good.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, we're happy to have you here.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for joining us.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: Not a problem.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: So high and dry.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna start our show off with a moral dilemma.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: Gonna ask these bunch of assholes here what they think about it.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: And then we're gonna move into the main event, which a lot of people are getting excited for.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um, this week we have the Philadelphia Flyers Gritty going up against the Kool-Aid man.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_03: Ooh, this is a big one, everybody.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: This is gonna will chaos rain or will he, oh yeah, all over Gritty's fucking face?
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna find out today on High and Dry.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um probably a lot is gonna happen here.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: All right, so uh before we get started though, before we jump into our ethical dilemma, which I have a fun one today, I think everyone's gonna enjoy.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: Hooray! How we do this on high and dry is we gotta get high and we gotta get drunk.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um, James, what are you gonna be smoking today?
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_03: So today I've got a wonderful strain called called wowie, and I'm not sure if it's based off of like a Maui Wowie.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_03: Hey, hey Reese, uh, what's in a Maui Wowie?
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like the drink.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I was just wondering if you happen to know.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, the drink.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I'm pretty sure it's uh Malibu, coconut, gay, and like pineapple juice.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_03: Sounds about right.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, it's gonna be delicious.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_03: I oh yeah.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_03: I love gay in my mouth.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_03: It's gonna taste really good.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_01: All right, uh Reese, what are you gonna be?
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: Gay that makes it wowie.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: Uh Reese, what are you gonna be smoking?
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: I am going to be uh hitting gas tanks uh sour tangi sativa in Illinois.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, yeah, and uh by the way, for those of you uh who aren't familiar with Reese's work, uh he's a comedian out in Illinois.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um and that's where he's coming calling in from today.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: So uh we're happy to bring Chicago back into this business.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: Can't get better pizza.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_03: That's right.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_03: I guess that's gonna start some new fights.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so uh next week, uh New York pizza versus Chicago pizza.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_03: Three rounds.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_03: Oh God.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: So California's not even mentioned.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_03: What are you drinking, Ryan?
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: So today, um, for those of you who are saw our um earlier video that we were just putting out today, um I'm going to be continuing to drink that gray goose vodka I pulled out of my freezer.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um while you guys enjoy the smooth taste of whatever it is, um You're gonna be drinking a cool gritty.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: That's the name of the garden.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna be uh drinking the cool gritty.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: And if you want to know how to make a cool gritty, go ahead and uh jump onto our YouTube and we got that recipe for you.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: All right, folks, let's do it.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: And what's this one gonna be to this week?
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_03: This one's gonna be to our new guest, Reese.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_03: This one's to you, Reese.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_03: I appreciate it.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_03: Here we go.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, it took a big one on that.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_03: Woo! Oh boy, that was a good one.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_03: All right, now it tastes like bananas.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, mine tastes like uh vodka.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: You know those little cuties, like those the the clementines that like are for kids.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, I love cuties.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: I get them all the time.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's like I ate a skunk who ate one of those.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_03: Nice.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_03: Love that skunky weed.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_03: It's my favorite.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: Oh delicious.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, it's it goes down smooth.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: All right, so here's uh so that's one out of three.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: Here comes two.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: What's two, two?
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_03: Two is to all of our viewers who are listening now.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for being uh such loyal listeners.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: Cheers.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_03: You know how you view podcasts.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: We're expecting you to be doing these with us.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: So pull off to the side of the road.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: This comes out Sunday night, so you're listening to it Monday morning on your way to work.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_01: Go ahead, pull over and take a little break.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_03: Pull over and take a hit.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay come in middle place in the in the rat race.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_03: Just tell your boss that you got you thought you had a COVID scare on the way to work, and instead you were high on the side of the road.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_03: You know, or whatever.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you pulled out of my car.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: There was nothing I could do.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_01: All right, boys.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: Here's the final shot.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_01: Here's two uh oh yeah, and letting chaos reign.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_01: Let's do it.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_03: That was a that was a small one.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna go again.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_03: Please do.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_03: Sounds like Reese took a little bit of a bigger one.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: Hercules.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I don't know if it's uh the the weekly scheduled aggressive drinking that I'm doing now because of this podcast, but uh uh or the techniques I'm developing as a drinker.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_01: But these are going down a lot easier.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_03: So uh it's because you burned all the feeling out of your throat.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I think that's it.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_03: You just removed all the lining of your throat.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_03: You can't feel anything.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: Everything slides down easy.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you know what I think it is, and you know, I bet there's a bunch of professional drinkers out there who can comment or you know, chime in on this one.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um, what I've begun doing, I mean, when I was younger and moving to now, I would just shoot it straight down my throat.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_01: It wouldn't even hit my tongue, it would just fall right on down and I'd deal with it there.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: Now, as an adult drinker, I actually let it like every inch of that gray goose slid along my tongue.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: And for those of you at home, this is when you're gonna want to dim the lights.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I let it slide down, and I really I let my mouth take on that flavor before I let it just drop into my stomach, and I'm not having any issues.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_03: It's like an airbag before the crash.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you're getting you're giving it a little chance to not to not destroy your throat mu throat lining.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, I think that's vodka's icky, I couldn't do that.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you see, I so we just finished off one of my bottles of Captain Morgan Black Spice, and that um just pure alcohol, no matter what, is yucky, all right?
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I mean, you're not drinking just look, look, look, and this is a common misconception.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: You're not drinking alcohol for the taste, all right?
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_01: You're drinking it to mess yourself up, and anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: See, and that's why I drink cocktails, all right.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: My drinks need to come with an umbrella.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: I enjoy the taste of pineapple juice, and it gets me messed up.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_03: It gets you wet, that's why you need the umbrella.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: Well, the thing I don't understand you know, then I don't know if with all of Philly listening in, I don't know this is the time to attack it, but beer drinkers.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: Nope.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_03: We are not messing with Philly.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_03: Nope.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_03: Leave it alone.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_03: All right.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_03: Beer drinkers, you're fine.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, it's dirt in a can, anyway.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_03: No, it's not.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_03: Beer is delicious.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_03: We support beer on this podcast, even but we prefer shots.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: We we don't need gritty coming in and stepping on my throat with his skate.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_03: All right, so what's our what's our dilemma for this one?
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm glad you asked, James.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: All right, so today's dilemma now that we have a little bit of alcohol and uh cannabis.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: Is it is it just cannabis in that form?
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_03: It's cannabis oil.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_03: It's cannabis oil that's been heated to a vapor.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I know mine is my percentage is like 87 point something percent.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: Dang, I'm at I'm only at 79.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: No, 88.7.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, cool.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_03: We both got around the same.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_01: For a second, I was worried.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_03: Don't worry.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_03: We're gonna both be fucked, okay?
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, oh no.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_03: All right, guys.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: You're crazy if you don't think I'm hitting it throughout this entire damn thing.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_03: We'll do it with you.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_03: Just let us know.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you're just gonna go crazy.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_03: We gotta host a podcast.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, as soon as we start letting guests on, you know, because they only do this once in a blue moon, we do this weekly.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, things go to shit when we when we hit it too hard.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_03: All right, conundrum.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_01: So here we go.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: Today, on high and dry, our moral conundrum of the day today is if you could become immortal on the condition that you could never die or kill yourself, you will exist life eternal.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: Would you choose immortality?
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and before we jump into that, I'm gonna throw down a couple specifications on that.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: So um it is a pure um instantaneous reconstruction of your being.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so if you're tossed into a volcano, you won't just be rolling around in a volcano, eventually be reconstructed in a place that's conducive to you continuing your life.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, okay.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um when the planet explodes, um, you'll reform where the planet was and you'll begin your journey towards another one.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_03: So, okay, that's interesting.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_03: Though one of the problems I have with that is like physics tells us that if if we reform where the planet was and it's just our bodies, like we'll get burned to death by the sun immediately.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: So the the atmosphere and everything like that.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: So you It's gonna suck for a while, but I think so.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: Eventually you I mean, and that's well, that's something to look into and to think about because you know, standing on this earth for for science-minded individuals that one day um you know this planet will not sustain us, the sun will eat this planet, and it's like four billion years away or something, but still it's a long time from now.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, who knows?
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_01: There's a lot of and that's really the heart of the question is the who knows of the matter.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_01: So off the cuff, guests go first.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: If you could be immortal on those conditions, Reese, would you choose a mortality?
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: Beyond a shadow of a doubt, yes.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: And why?
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: Because I I'm I like watching things.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: It um I I'm a people watcher, and I would literally kind of become, without the size of the head, the Marvel Universe Watcher.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: You know, just kind of seeing what's happening here, there.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, I I want to see how this all ends.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: And even if I do get constantly burnt by the solar radiation, then you know that that's what a few minutes for in against forever.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, done.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, all right.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: Interesting, interesting before.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, very, very concise argument.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_01: Before we jump into that, James, off the cuff.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_01: What's your um You gonna be immortal?
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_03: Off the cuff.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_03: Um it's really tempting.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_03: It's very, very tempting to me because I'm the kind of person who traditionally I've always felt like I needed to know everything.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_03: I felt like the kind of person who needed to see what happened, but I think I would resist the urge.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_03: Why?
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_03: Uh because you know, this calls back to like one of our uh one of our other episodes uh where we talked about the entitlement of beings that had didn't have to interact with anyone or didn't owe anything to anyone.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_03: Um I'm afraid that I would become incredibly entitled and and like super shitty and and because because I had something that others did not have, and then at the end of it all, after the earth explodes and I'm floating through space, I have no interaction and all I have are my fucking thoughts.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_01: Jesus.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we definitely I mean, and that's why people tune in to High and Dry um for that um in the polar opposite what about you?
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_03: What about what about you, Ryan?
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: So uh so for me, you know, and you see, all right, so this is also an interesting point.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_01: So um I don't know if our viewers at home could tell by the voices, but uh Reese is my brother, and so I wonder if there is a uh a familial or even a genetic thing there, but I agree with Reese, uh-huh, and for a lot of the same reasons, I've always been so curious just about what comes next.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_01: And um and every time I watch anything cyberpunk or futuristic, I'm so pissed that uh I was born when I was.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_01: Um just even when we did the um last week when we did Lilu versus uh Takeshi watching car altered carbon, I'm like, god damn it, why am I here?
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_03: Well, so I and I agree.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_03: The future seems super cool, but the sadure cards, yeah, yeah.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_03: Ki and Peel, great sketch on that one with the big shout out to Kian Peel, fans of ours.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_01: And uh yeah, they uh that's actually the the listeners from Georgia we get every uh you guys are keeping this alive.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_03: I I like what you said, and and I think the future's super cool, but the big thing about those settings, like like uh fifth element and so I I'm I'm saying so.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_01: Are you saying that all those fantasy worlds they're just conjecture?
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_03: No, I would say that um in those fantasy worlds, yeah, I know you want to see new things, but in those fantasy worlds, the big thing that it always comes back to is those are dystopias.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_03: Those dystopias uh have the same cyclical problems that we face.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_03: And so your life will just become without any control to you, a world that continues to cycle through these incredibly shitty times.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_03: Well, so and um no dude.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_01: Oh please, Reese, go on.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: Uh like if i if you are immortal, if you have the wisdom of centuries and cannot die, the world your your point of view changes.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: You might be shitty at times, you might be cool at times, but basically the world kind of becomes Sid Meyer's civilization, and you could make a dystopian, or you could make a utopia.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: The really the choice in or you could scrap the whole thing, move to another planet, meet another immortal, and then you guys uh go on wacky adventures together.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_01: So this this question is quickly creating we have a lot to unpack on this little question.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_01: I thought it was gonna be just kind of a joke question here.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um so you know how this podcast is.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's my daily thought.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_01: Well, so it does bring up well, so first, I have two points to make.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_01: The first one, um, Reese and I uh you know, we grew up together, and we so we do have uh similar views.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um and one of them, so you were talking about how those future worlds are dystopia.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I and Reese, please correct me if I'm wrong here, but Reese and I definitely, in my opinion, belong to that millennial category that dream silently to themselves while they're sitting on the toilet.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_03: You know, what would happen if you were in a dystopia?
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: Would we be able to be that hero?
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_03: It's so funny that thought.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_03: Just really quick before you get into your next one.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_03: It's so funny that thought, though, because we live in a dystopia.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_03: We just live in a really boring dystopia.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_03: And people would prefer a more interesting dystopia.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, well, Reese, you would say you're gonna think.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: There's flying cars, you know.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's more interesting.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's a boring dystopia.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_01: Well, Reese, you got something to say?
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: Well, um, I I've I've taken a lot of like moral inventories lately, and I I gotta say, I know I'd probably in a zombie apocalypse you would find me hanging somewhere.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like I I give up quick when it comes to that kind of stuff.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you know, honestly, I in my opinion.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a bard.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not the hero.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I think that's a super honestly uh uh mature um thing to come to because I I feel a lot of the problems that we're seeing these days is this fantasy that people are keeping in their heads that when you know the zombie apocalypse comes or when that dystopia comes, they'll be you know the the hero that steps up and righteously kills other people.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_03: When yeah, when's the last time I'm gonna do that?
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_03: I my big question is is when did people last I like we in the dystopia we live in now, when did you last step up?
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_03: What makes you think you're gonna step up in this next dystopia?
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_03: Just because it's more interesting?
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: Because somebody who did step up dies on their doorstep and gives them the magical amulet or the paper of proof.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: That kind of thing.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_01: No, and that's an important thing that I think we have to keep in mind.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_01: So so it it has been, my opinion now for some time, and it's one of the things that I I try and write about frequently.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um World War II and Netflix.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_01: World War II and Netflix.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um World War II basically the same thing.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_01: Well, World War II showed us as the cost of stopping evil, and Netflix gave us something to lose.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um so there is sacrifice.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_01: There when you stand up and decide that you're gonna change the way things are, your life is now changing the way things are.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_01: And you're going to see loss and pain and things like we saw in those world wars, things that we've seen historically.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: And Netflix gives us that thing where we could come home from the dystopia and forget that we're in the dystopia.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_01: You don't get to watch Netflix, and you're gonna have to face the fact that changing the world is painful, it's hard, and you will die changing the world.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_01: Probably.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: What you just said, I talk uh I've been talking with a lot of uh the comedian friends that I've made, especially lately, uh my friend Brandon King.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: We were we were just sitting on his couch, you know, blazing and uh watching TV, and I and we were talking about dystopian futures.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, Man, how long is how long is it gonna take for them to just pump dopamine through the vents in a gas and just flash bright lights at us?
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, dude, what the hell do you think we're doing right now?
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's pretty true.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_03: It's so much it's so much for Brave New World, right?
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_01: No, and and that's sadly that's the price of we all want to be heroes of our story or of the story, and we want to, you know, uh impress our worldviews and change the world.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I think the way we're all raised in this world where we see these stories, and all we understand is this main character that we fail to realize that main character, first he suffers, he or she suffers, and that's their life.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_01: They don't get to go home and try the latest video game, they don't get to go home and watch Netflix.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_01: They you never see a movie or a TV show where the main character sits down and is like, Alright, it's time to catch up on my series, is comfortable the whole time.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_01: Not once.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: There was that adventureland movie.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: Where nothing really there was that adventureland movie with uh the kid from Zombieland.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: Where basically nothing happened, nobody suffered, there was no plot at all.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: Well, see, that was during happened before.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_01: Well, well, that was during the whole our our indie phase that we experienced after what would you call it, emoism.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_03: I would say like massive corporatization of everything.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_03: I think that I think it was like in a rebelliousness to the massive corporatization of everything, yeah, and then that got corporatized.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_01: You know, the the zombie land kid is he was like the poster boy for for corporatization of indieism.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_03: He's doing an indie movie that starts with Warner Brothers.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_03: He did play Zony Zuckerberg.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_03: Holy shit.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_03: That's so funny.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_03: The massive corporatization is just everywhere.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: Well, here's here's one to uh conspiracy right there.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_03: Here's one to all the indie kids who were before it's corporatized.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_03: We actually were wrong.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_03: You are very cool, and when we should until the part where you sold out.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: So here's to punk rockers, indie kids, and uh fuck you, Mark Zuckerberg.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, fuck Mark Zuckerberg.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_01: Cheers, boys.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_03: Cheers.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_03: Whole nother point.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_03: That man deserves to be in jail.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_03: He uh he has restricted access to the internet from millions of people around the world.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_03: Fuck that guy.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_01: And high and dry podcasts just got kings off of Facebook.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_03: Oh boy, oh yeah, oh yeah, you can't say oh whoops.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_01: Dear corporate overlords, we are ready to get down and really lick some boot.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: As a callback of things to lose, uh uh um Zuckerberg, I'm cool with you.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_00: My farmville has never been better.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I'm the one who's still playing.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_00: All right, boy.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's me and uh Tom from MySpace.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_01: Tom ain't didn't this shit.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_01: He he bought a castle like uh Enya did, and he just disappeared into his yeah.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_03: He was like he was like, You guys are gonna face a real shithole.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna yump you and out of here.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_01: Before we the vodka is really speaking to me.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_01: So before we get into uh what the rich people should be doing, um final thoughts.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_01: Final thoughts, guests first.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_01: Reese, final thoughts on this whole immortality thing.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, I'm I'd totally be down for that.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'd become a very low budget god.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: And who doesn't want that?
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean, it would be well, James, final thoughts.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_01: Immortality?
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_03: See, my my answer is directly the opposite of Reese's, because um, because to think of myself as a god, I I don't want to do that.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_03: We've had a bunch of conversations on the show about being entitled and how it really fucked with us.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_03: And I don't I don't ever want to assume that I'm wise enough to be a god.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm afraid that if I had that immortality, I would.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_03: And so I I would say no.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_03: That's my final thought.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: So you are scared of the greatness within you.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I would I would rather not use that greatness against people, which I think would be inevitable.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_03: See, but but he he brings up, you know, honestly.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_01: Well, he brings up a point.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, well, but your journey is gonna wind up, and we could we could really talk about this for just so fucking long.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but we got a show to run here.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so we're not.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_01: But uh the but the journey, your journey of discovering that you're a god and realizing you're not a god is gonna hurt so many fucking people.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I definitely see what he's saying there.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but for my final thought on it is I'm still going immortal.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's fuck you, I'm immortal, so so what does your opinion matter anymore?
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_01: It's fuck you, I'm immortal.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_01: What are you gonna do?
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_01: Kill me?
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe maybe you should have said yes.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna try my absolute hardest to not turn into a dick, but I will my final thought.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_01: This is my final thought, Ryan Baron Noir's final thought is historically, it's impossible.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you're gonna turn into a real piece of shit.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_01: Historically, it's impossible, despite despite your gender, race, faith, creed, whatever it is, good intentions, whatever it is, as soon as a human being is given that sort of power, whether it be immortality, wealth, anything like that, uh, unless you're fucking Clark Kent, you're gonna be a raging douchebag.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_01: And now I'm just gonna be a raging douchebag who gets to see the sun explode in a couple billion years.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but fuck you, I'm still gonna do it.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_03: That's it.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_03: That's what it really comes down to is as soon as you're immortal, that's like your mindset.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_03: What are you gonna do?
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_01: And that, and honestly, that right there proves James's point.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: But I think you only do it at first.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_00: I think you grow out of it because you're always young and you're immortal.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_03: We could talk about this forever.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, yeah, yeah.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_01: That was that was our final thoughts.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_01: Moving into the next part um of High and Drive, we move on to the versus match.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_01: It's gonna be a big versus match.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_01: I know we have a couple people from Philly tuning in.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_03: You know, they might just be communists.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it might just be communists.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but you know, we have a couple people tuning in who want to see chaos rain.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_01: We have uh I don't know what the fan base is of Kool-Aid Man, but I think it's a real mixed fan base.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_03: Very mixed fan base.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's me and Tom from Facebook.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_00: Well, these two are about to collide.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_01: But before we do that, it's time for our fourth shot, which in this episode is our fifth shot slash hit.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, let's do it.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_01: Go and pour them up, gentlemen.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_01: Prep your lips.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_03: These um this banana, this bananabis, I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna call it bananabus, is delicious.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_03: That's fucking awesome.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_02: Uh oh, Risa, how are you feeling?
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_00: I can't feel my fucking legs.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm glad that you said that because it's time for our next round.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_01: Here's to power corrupts and to Kurt Russell.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I think I think that's smooth.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_03: That that maps.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_03: Let's do it.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_03: Uh here we go, cheers, boys.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_03: I know.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_03: His hair's been luscious for like 30 years.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: Feathered and freaking lethal.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's the that's what I'm actually going for.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_01: Um, well, uh a quick shout out.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and we're gonna at you in this next episode while we were filming.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_01: Orbiting Meadows, fan of Bender, just liked one of our posts over at High and Dry.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna at you in this next one, man.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_01: This one's for you, Orbiting Meadows.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_03: Thanks, Orbiting Meadows.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you, Orbiting Meadows.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_01: You got me fucked up.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I'm really I think we talked about it in episode three.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um, vodka is my weakness, and I'm I'm feeling it just sloshing around me, which is a perfect time to let chaos reign.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_01: Let's do it.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_01: Let's talk about it.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_01: Here we go.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's the fight.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_01: So, Reese, welcome to your first fight.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_01: We're hoping to have you on in the future.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_01: So, our first how fights work in high and dry.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_01: We do a three-round match.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_01: First round, our combatants take off their shirt, they take off their shoes, and they remove their belt, and Brad Pitt watches as the two of these guys just punch each other to death.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_01: Round two, we zoom out a little bit.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_01: We round two, we zoom out a little bit, and we see a city view in a in a locale where these two creatures or people or whoever it is would likely meet.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_01: In this case, I'm guessing the streets of Philly after a loss or a W.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_01: But one of those things, and the two of them are meeting, and they have they've received basically a notification on the cell phone or a manila envelope under the door that says, Hey, you gotta go kill the other one.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: And that then at that point they're able to use their mental acumen and their stratagems and everything like that to get the job done.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um finally, in the third round, we do the same thing that we saw right there.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_01: Two characters receive their envelope, but this time they get to call in a friend.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_01: And we've seen in the past that sometimes if your friend is Bruce Willis, you're gonna win.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you win.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_01: So it's a two out of three round, and uh, we see what happens.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_01: So ding ding ding.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_01: Here it is.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_01: The uh Philadelphia Flyers own you alright back there, guest.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_00: Eyebrows are vibrating.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_01: And that's how we should be when we enter into a fight like this.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_01: So the Philadelphia Flyers gritty versus what the fuck company owns Kool-Aid Man?
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_03: I'll get it right.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_03: Is it Kraft?
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_03: What?
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_03: I think yeah, it might just be Kool-Aid.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_03: Is it just Kool-Aid's Kool-Aid Man?
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, Kool-Aid's man.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_03: Kool-Aid's man.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_01: Kool-Aid's very own man.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_01: Is he a pick?
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_01: It's craft hein.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, dude, I called that.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_03: It's Kraft Heinz.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_03: Way to go, man.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_03: Wow, I called that shit.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_01: So Kraft's very own gritty versus No, the other way.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_03: It's the flyer's gritty versus Kraft's Kool Aid, man.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_03: He's so fucked up right now.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_01: We started this morning.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_01: I opened this bottle of vodka, and I know we're not visual.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_01: The listeners cannot see it.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I know we're not a visual podcast, but if you have a gray goose bottle in front of you, um, we're below the goose.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_01: The goose.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_01: We're below the goose's line.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_01: The goose line.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_01: We're below the goose line on this one.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_01: And here we go.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_01: So here we are, round one.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_01: We got gritty versus the Kool-Aid man.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_01: Here we go.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_01: All right, so Gritty and the Kool-Aid man just jumped into the ring.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_01: All right, and they're surrounded by a bunch of dudes.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_01: All right, just shirts off, shoes off, no belts.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_03: Man, you're getting distracted again.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_01: Oh no.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_03: Is it happening again?
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_03: So so Reese, what what are your first impressions?
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna over I'm gonna take this over for a second.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_03: Reese, what are your first impressions?
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that it that it's a uh stuffed animal versus a uh glass bowl.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um I think the glass bowl is gonna win.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it is it is like a monster.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_03: He's a googly-eyed monster against a giant glass bowl.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_03: But that that glass bowl is fucking massive.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_00: Now, well, here's a question.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's also Tonka tough.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_00: He's Tonka tough.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_01: Well, no, we can't bring Tonka into this.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_01: Look, until Tonka starts dropping cash on high-end drive, he's cannot bring Tart into it.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_01: All right, so look, Lolo, so I I I I I I would hazard a bet that in the old days of Kool-Aid, he was definitely glass.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_01: Is craft still working with glass?
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's something we have to figure out here because a punch from gritty could shatter glass.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_01: I definitely feel that.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_03: Well, it depends on how thick the glass is, because once you get like to a certain thickness of glass, it's like fucking concrete almost.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_03: It's um like if he's like if he's like a foot of glass, then that is incredibly tough.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_01: Well, so we we had our guests' first thoughts.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_01: James, initial thoughts.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_01: We have this just fist-to-fist round.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_01: What are your initial thoughts?
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_01: Who's this?
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_03: One person's fists are made of like foot-thick glass.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_03: The guy's fuzzy.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_03: I think that I think that gritty is terrifying, and I think uh but uh but I think the I think the Kool-Aid man weighs like four tons.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that I don't think it's gonna make a difference.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_00: He's a low-grade wrecking ball.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_03: He's literally thrown his body through houses.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and the glass does not shatter.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_02: That's a fantastic point.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_02: He goes through brick walls and his glass doesn't shatter.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_03: That's absolutely right.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_00: That's like they he he has to donate parts of himself to like the police force or something.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_01: So that's a that's a fantastic point.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_01: All right, so I would say, um, dragging it back over this side, um, we do have the giant bowl of fork.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, what would you say?
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_01: So we're looking at the Kool-Aid man now.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_01: I got his pictures up.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_03: As far as I know, gritty is made of flesh and bone.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_03: And the Kool-Aid man is made of a material much harder than flesh and bone.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_01: Now, now, so there is an argument would be made.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_01: So I can see where this is headed already.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_01: So, Philly, Ryan Bear of the North's gotcha.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_03: Now, no, your opinion changes with us.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_03: If we outnumber you, your opinion changes with us.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_01: I know, I know, I know.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_01: So, Gritty is formed of a new element of chaos.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_01: And we which alters the reality around him.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_01: But he is very fuzzy, very soft.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_03: He is very soft.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, you can clearly see it.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_03: I don't think his temperament can fight glass at such a hardened level.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_02: That's a good point.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_03: I think that I think that we just need to call it.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_03: I'd love to give Gritty more of a shot.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_01: Well, there it is.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_01: There it is.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_01: So one of one of the members of High and Dry has said it's time to call it guest first.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_01: What's your vote?
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_01: Gritty versus the Kool-Aid man?
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_01: Round one.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm going Kool-Aid man.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_00: All he has to do is like flip over and then he's got him in a dome.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_01: James, round one, Kool-Aid vote.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's Kool-Aid man.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_01: Fuck.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_01: All right, um, me over here.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um God.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I uh I understand that my house is about to be burned down by Philly, but No, no, no.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_03: You don't have to say anything because it's already decided.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_03: You don't have to burn yourself on this one.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_03: You can keep that Philly.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_02: So I would say that Philly's gonna take it.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_03: Fuck both of you.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_03: All right, well, your opinions change now.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_01: All right, so um guest Reese, uh um a rule of high and dry is when two members of the high and dry episode determine that one person has one around, the third person's opinion changes.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_03: This the only way to combat to combat continuing animosity is to change your opinion.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_01: So through high and dry magic, holy shit, Kool-Aid man would take it.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_01: All right, you're damn right he would.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_01: Round two.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_01: So there it is.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_01: Round one, ladies and gentlemen, goes to the Kool-Aid man in four inches of tonka tough glass.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_01: Now we move into round two.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_01: So round two zooms out the view.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_01: We're now in our city mode.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_01: The city will be Philly because the Kool-Aid man goes wherever the fuck he wants.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_03: That's right.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_03: And and and gritty is in Philly mostly.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_01: The Kool-Aid man bursts into Philly.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_01: Both characters have now received their manila envelope stating that hey, you gotta kill that other guy.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_01: Here it goes.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_01: They're allowed to now use their everything.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_01: They have weapons, they have it all.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_01: Who's gonna take it?
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_01: Guest Reese?
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_01: Initial thoughts.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_01: Cool aid, man.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_01: Concise.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_02: I like him.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, well, mainly I've seen Rocky.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_00: There's all those stairs.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_03: Green loves me in shoes.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_03: He's all he's in shoes like most of the time.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_03: He even runs on the show.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's the distinct fuck is gonna be for getting knives on his feet?
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_03: He wears them on his hands.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, he's got a he's got a speed advantage, and you can't hide from Kool-Aid.
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_01: Well, well, well, so that's initial thoughts.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_01: That's initial thoughts, and there's a good initial thoughts to think of.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_01: James, initial thoughts, round two, who's taking it?
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_01: Kool-Aid Man or Gritty?
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_03: Uh you know, I think gr so here's the problem is that Kool-Aid Man has a has a pretty big lore around him.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_03: I watched a super cut of all his commercials before this episode, so I could see what Kool-Aid Man Kool-Aid Man is all about.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_03: And Kool-Aid Man is fucking crazy.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, Kool-Aid Man can summon owls.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_00: I remember that.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_03: I need you in one of the commercials, he holds his arms out, and these owls flock to it, flock to his arms.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_00: Wasn't it for that weird ass like flavor where it was like minty blue raspberry and it was camping for some reason?
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_03: They had some crazy flavors.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_03: I couldn't even tell you all the crazy flavors.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_03: Um he can uh withstand the force of a of a putt-putt golf ball being smacked against him, so we know we know that glass is thick.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_03: Um he can use his head as a he can use his head.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_03: Uh he can run his hand along the rim of his head to like control sound.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_03: Jesus Christ.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_03: He's he's a mad scientist who comes up with like concoctions on the fly.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_01: Jesus.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_01: I remember this now.
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um, well, no, not Bishop.
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I'm thinking of an X-Men.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I'm thinking of an X-Man.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_01: He uh he can create whatever he invent, whatever he dreams, he can Forge.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_01: I have no fucking clue.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_01: Well, who is that, Reese?
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's Forge.
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_00: He he has the Forge uh Yeah, he can create anything, but he can't remember it.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and so the Koolid man is Forge, yeah, and he can also travel in and out of and advertisements and pull other people into them.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that's fucked up, and we'll see that in round three.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_03: But but in but in this Cityscape, he doesn't he doesn't have that power to pull people around.
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_03: But so on the other side, Gritty um has an extensive use of weaponry.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know if you've seen this dude.
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I well, I would like to say, alright, so well will you have some initial thoughts here, and I would like Ryan Barron North would like to talk on behalf of Gritty.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_01: Alright, so first off, Gritty won the Socialist Party against Eugene V.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_01: Debs.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna start right there, alright.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_01: What do you mean he won?
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_01: In in any election, Gritty wins, all right.
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_01: So he can call on the people of this city.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_01: Second No, we can't call on the people until round three.
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_01: I guess you're right.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_01: I guess you're right.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that brings up the next portion where Gritty.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't even matter that Kool-Aid man can't summon owls at that point.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_00: He can summon other shit.
• 39:23
  SPEAKER_01: He can't summon owls.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_01: You're right, you're right.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_01: Well, then in that case, I'd like to bring up the fact that um Gritty is capable in all weapons against Nazis.
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_01: And we're gonna have to look up some history on craft there.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_01: Alright, so well then I'd like to continue.
• 39:38
  SPEAKER_01: So Gritty's come into this fight now at that point.
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_01: He's got blades on his feet, he's got a blunt weapon in his hands, um, and there's also a lot indicating that Gritty um is capable of hunting prey, which to me indicates that he has claws and fangs.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um so beneath his nut job exterior, um, he also has the ability to lunge and grip onto prey, I would say, in sort of a spine bite.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_01: Probably.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_01: Definitely.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_03: Or maybe or he might even be like almost ape-like in how he beats them to death with his hand.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_00: I think it would be more that.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_00: I think it would be like a baboon protecting its turf.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes, and and then he then his wild ass eyes decide it's time and he pulls out his hockey stick and just starts beating somebody.
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_03: He uses a crowbar.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_03: There's a video of him.
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_03: There's a video of him from a uh uh the Philly Flyers opened up a break room where they would fill it with shit to smash because their fans were because their fans were rioting so much that they wanted to give them a room where they could go in and smash things to get all to get all their fucking rage out.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_03: And and gritty and gritty was going to town with a crowbar fucking destroying this room.
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_01: Well then finally, I would like to say that Gritty is very, very capable when it comes to ranged thrown weapons.
• 41:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_01: Frequently he makes use of cakes, which he manages to connect with his victims with pinpoint accuracy.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and he also uses a t-shirt cannon to shoot his own fans, which is also true.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_02: Which is also true.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_03: They were running from him and he shot them in the back with a t-shirt.
• 41:31
  SPEAKER_01: Which also it indicates not necessarily honor.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it depends on the ideologies of his victim.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it depends on the ideologies of his victims.
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because in Gritty's um worldview, he hates fascists.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so if that individual was a fascist, he was less than a dog and deserved it.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_03: Do you want to know if Kool-Aid Man is a fascist?
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_03: Because I know if Kool-Aid Man is a fascist.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, please go on.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_03: So, so in my supercut of commercials, multiple times Kool-Aid Man humiliated police officers and and authority figures.
• 42:12
  SPEAKER_03: What?
• 42:13
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 42:13
  SPEAKER_03: Holy shit, you went the other way.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_03: He humiliated them.
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that Kool-Aid Man has a real hatred of authority, also.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_03: She is here's what I think is gonna happen.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_03: Kool-Aid Man is not like Kool-Aid Man is not normally aggressive toward people, he is only aggressive toward authority.
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_03: And you know what I think happens when these two meet is gritty tries to beat on him a little bit, and Kool-Aid Man's like, no, we should work together.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that he and Gritty and Kool-Aid Man in this round when it's just the two of them, fucking work together.
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_02: No fucking way.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_03: I think that's what happens.
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_02: Reese's thoughts.
• 42:51
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I I don't I don't know.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_02: My mind's blown.
• 42:53
  SPEAKER_02: What are your thoughts?
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't know.
• 42:56
  SPEAKER_00: Well, one, I one, I uh my stomach's acting up, so I'm focusing on that a bit.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_00: But um also, I don't I don't think that they would work together.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think it would be like please go on.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_00: I think it would because uh look at look at what Kool-Aid Man does.
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_00: He's the fucking Hulk.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_03: And if and no, he's not the Hulk, he's always smiling.
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_03: He's Kool-Aid Man has never been mad.
• 43:25
  SPEAKER_03: Everybody's not rage, it's not rage, it's not rage, it's just his massive body.
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_03: He doesn't understand.
• 43:31
  SPEAKER_02: He doesn't understand listen.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_03: In one of the commercials, he accidentally exploded the wall out of his own house when he left because of his massive body.
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_03: It's not rage, he just does it.
• 43:43
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that's where uh gritty is is he's a hunter, but remember, he's a communist, and he knows that we're stronger together, and Kool-Aid Man is always happy to fuck with and humiliate authority.
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_03: I think that they would work together.
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_03: I think that I think that Gritty would use his hunter instinct and direct that communism toward a shared goal.
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_00: So you guys think that the two of them would would duke it out, realize that it's i i it's predator versus The thing and shake hands and go after whoever gave them the manila envelopes.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_03: That's exactly what I think would happen.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I can tell you this.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_03: Like the purge.
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_03: This is amazing.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_03: I love the path that this conversation has taken.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_03: So now in round three, I think they get to bring their powers together against against fascists.
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_03: And they get to use all of their powers.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_00: I think he's just a rebel.
• 44:45
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think he's I don't think he's an anti-fascist.
• 44:48
  SPEAKER_01: So well, no, that's a good point.
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_01: So with Gritty, chaos reigns.
• 44:53
  SPEAKER_01: So we have to look at round three as it is.
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_01: So round three, according to high and dry scripture, indicates that these two gentlemen now are backing up, but they get to bring a friend in.
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, so now this might change the dynamic.
• 45:09
  SPEAKER_01: This might change the dynamic a little bit because you have so you have a nineties author anti-authoritarian figure against a modern day authoritarian figure.
• 45:19
  SPEAKER_01: And when there's just the two of them, we're like, hey, yeah, we listen to the same fucking music.
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_01: Let's do this.
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_01: Let's bring it down.
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_01: But now they all bring in a friend.
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that this is I think that this makes all the difference.
• 45:31
  SPEAKER_03: I think that I don't think they'd have an opportunity to take a step back and say, hey, we should work together instead of against each other.
• 45:39
  SPEAKER_03: If they had the friends, because I think I think it would make it pretty decisive with group dynamics.
• 45:44
  SPEAKER_03: Uh uh I don't know.
• 45:47
  SPEAKER_01: Definitely.
• 45:47
  SPEAKER_01: Definitely no, and I agree entirely.
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_01: So here it is.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_01: So round two is a tie because the two of these juggernauts would meet on the field of battle in Philly.
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my.
• 46:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and we decide that you know what?
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_01: What are we doing?
• 46:04
  SPEAKER_01: Here it is, bro.
• 46:05
  SPEAKER_01: Anti-authority.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_01: And chaos reigns, and the two of them shake hands.
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
• 46:11
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, guess, can we get a no yeah?
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_01: That was a pretty good one.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_00: That was a little more sensual than I was trying for.
• 46:22
  SPEAKER_01: So Kool-Aid Man in round two was actually pretty sexy, but we're not talking about that now.
• 46:27
  SPEAKER_01: What we're talking about is round three, where these two characters who had just tied have now brought in a friend.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_01: Who would the friend be?
• 46:35
  SPEAKER_01: Let's start with Gritty.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_01: Who's Gritty bringing in?
• 46:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so me here just saying right off the bat.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_01: There you go.
• 46:43
  SPEAKER_01: Shit.
• 46:44
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that just shot mine to shit.
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_01: Let's talk about Rocky Balboa.
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_01: I really darling.
• 46:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, James, do you have a better one than that?
• 46:51
  SPEAKER_03: No, I so I don't think that and I think that I think that the real power, because he brings Rocky along, I think that his real power is that um is that they can pull everybody in Philly out of their homes and have the people of Philly fucking die for them.
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_03: Literally throw their bodies in front of them.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_01: I don't even live in Philly, and if Gritty and Rocky Balboa are out my house saying, hey, it's time to go to war, like, yeah, okay.
• 47:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just imagining the silhouette of the two of them on the on the staircase that Rocky jumps uh is jumping up and down at.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_01: Internet.
• 47:43
  SPEAKER_01: Internet, please.
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_01: Because I I don't think anyone on High and Dry has the technical know-how to create a meme of gritty and Rocky Balboa on the steps jumping next to each other.
• 47:59
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I'm not a graphic artist, I'm a web developer.
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, all right.
• 48:06
  SPEAKER_00: So please I'm gonna spend a lot of time on the toilet.
• 48:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'll get it done.
• 48:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so so here it is.
• 48:13
  SPEAKER_01: Listeners, um, Georgia.
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_01: Is it just Georgia, right?
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, Atlanta's right.
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_03: Atlanta's our a big spot.
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'm well beyond the goose right now.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_01: I I don't think gray goose drinkers is supposed to be over half a bottle down, but um we're gonna work on that.
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_01: High and dry is gonna work on getting you a meme.
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 48:33
  SPEAKER_03: Of Rocky Balboa and Gritty and all of Philadelphia ready to murder for them.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, which I think is the truest expression of Philadelphia.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_01: But so I there it is.
• 48:47
  SPEAKER_01: Gritty is definitely coming out with Rocky Balboa.
• 48:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 48:50
  SPEAKER_01: I did not expect that at all.
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_01: No, that's amazing.
• 48:53
  SPEAKER_01: That's fantastic.
• 48:54
  SPEAKER_01: Who is the Kool-Aid Man bringing?
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_03: Do you want my opinion on it?
• 48:58
  SPEAKER_03: But you obviously have one, please.
• 49:00
  SPEAKER_03: So I do have an idea about that.
• 49:02
  SPEAKER_03: So uh, so we found out earlier that Kool-Aid Man is Kraft, Kraft Brands.
• 49:07
  SPEAKER_03: And so I looked up Kraft Brands mascot, and Kraft Brands also has Cheesosaurus Rex.
• 49:17
  SPEAKER_03: First off, I think that's pretty amazing that uh that Kool-Aid Man gets a dinosaur.
• 49:24
  SPEAKER_03: But also, I think that Kool-Aid Man has those other powers we mentioned before, summoning owls, uh, moving between dimensions with his advertisements, where he can jump through, he can jump through other advertisements and and be in another dimension.
• 49:39
  SPEAKER_03: And he was able to, when someone put on a branded hat, he was able to teleport them to another dimension.
• 49:46
  SPEAKER_03: And literally, the hat like fell to the ground as they teleported dimensions.
• 49:51
  SPEAKER_03: And finally, I think that children, what would what would happen in the streets is that gritty and Rocky would gather all the parents of Philadelphia, and they would all come out into the streets to fight for Gritty and Rocky.
• 50:08
  SPEAKER_03: But Kool-Aid Man, those kids would die for Kool-Aid Man, and it would be the kids of like the kids of the Philadelphians standing in the way of Kool-Aid Man and Cheesesaurus.
• 50:25
  SPEAKER_03: Reese thoughts.
• 50:29
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think it would.
• 50:30
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if it would be Cheesesaurus.
• 50:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like, isn't Jolly Green Giant part of craft?
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_00: Do you think Jolly Green is is he?
• 50:37
  SPEAKER_01: I don't I don't know, Reese, you're the one who brought this up to the table, is he?
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_01: I brought it up to the table.
• 50:41
  SPEAKER_01: We're talking about Jolly Green Giant now.
• 50:43
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, Jolly Green Giant?
• 50:45
  SPEAKER_01: No, he's actually a part of BG Foods, so he would not be a craft bring-in.
• 50:50
  SPEAKER_01: I I think Yeah.
• 50:52
  SPEAKER_03: And I think Cheesesaurus would lend himself to the kid strategy of like turning the the kids of Philadelphia against their parents.
• 51:00
  SPEAKER_01: Well, as far as as far as as far as Cheese Auros goes, is he still canon?
• 51:07
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, he's he was he was a part of Kraft Foods at the time.
• 51:11
  SPEAKER_03: So I mean it would be it would be the Kool-Aid Man from that time.
• 51:15
  SPEAKER_03: So we always contain it.
• 51:18
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't matter if it's canon or not anymore, because um in the in the Rocky series, it's on Creed's Kid now.
• 51:25
  SPEAKER_01: So but also at the same time, one of the things I think we haven't brought into this um is that Kool-Aid Man is able to raise the dead and reincarnate individuals with his tears.
• 51:40
  SPEAKER_01: What?
• 51:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 51:42
  SPEAKER_01: Who is Kool-Aid Man?
• 51:43
  SPEAKER_01: Kool-Aid Man.
• 51:44
  SPEAKER_01: I missed that one.
• 51:45
  SPEAKER_01: He has the power of reincarnation and resurrection using Kool-Aid Man's tears.
• 51:51
  SPEAKER_01: Now, this is one that I discovered while perusing the world of Gritty's abilities and Kool-Aid Man's abilities.
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_01: So while Gritty is a staunch um defender of the working class, Kool-Aid Man can raise the dead with his tears.
• 52:10
  SPEAKER_03: But on the other hand, uh Kool-Aid Man might be too high because Kool-Aid Man, I don't know if Kool-Aid Man, I don't know if he's getting high or if he's orgasming when this happens, but in but in many of the commercials, like for the fizzy kinds of Kool-Aid, like uh Kool-Aid Man fucks himself up.
• 52:30
  SPEAKER_03: He like orders an a whisker online and then shoves it into his head and then sits there going, Oh yeah, as as bubbles fly out of his head.
• 52:41
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know if he's getting high, I don't know if he's coming, but it's one of those things, and I think he's an addict because it it happens in like four commercials in different ways.
• 52:50
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, Kraft, if you could give back to us and let us know if he was coming or if he was getting high, we'd appreciate that.
• 52:57
  SPEAKER_03: I think I think his addiction will work against him in this city setting.
• 53:02
  SPEAKER_03: He's super powerful, but he's a god in addiction.
• 53:04
  SPEAKER_03: Well, Reese, do you have any thoughts?
• 53:06
  SPEAKER_00: If well, my thought is is unless my unless the interpretation I had of Philly is completely wrong, I thought you could get like any kind of addiction sated there.
• 53:20
  SPEAKER_01: Now that is an interesting point to bring up.
• 53:23
  SPEAKER_01: So I have spent a little bit of time in Philly.
• 53:26
  SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
• 53:27
  SPEAKER_03: Um I've seen Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
• 53:30
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so we we have always sunny in Philadelphia viewers.
• 53:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um, we have myself who spent some time in Philly.
• 53:38
  SPEAKER_01: And uh Reese, uh have you spent any time in Philly?
• 53:42
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, I'm I'm literally basing it off of uh Always Sunny.
• 53:47
  SPEAKER_03: Nice.
• 53:49
  SPEAKER_03: That's most people's Philly.
• 53:50
  SPEAKER_01: Well, so my time in Philly was spent actually hanging out with a bunch of uh local bands, jumping from bar to bar.
• 53:57
  SPEAKER_01: And uh yeah, no, I definitely think I could find whatever I wanted in Philly.
• 54:01
  SPEAKER_01: So, James, please continue.
• 54:03
  SPEAKER_03: Uh yeah, I I think that I think that I think that Kool-Aid Man was too high this fight.
• 54:09
  SPEAKER_03: Because I know I know what I'm doing right now.
• 54:12
  SPEAKER_03: I'm getting too high for this fight.
• 54:13
  SPEAKER_00: And Kool-Aid Man is all very long way of saying yes.
• 54:17
  SPEAKER_01: Alright, so guest Reese, final thoughts.
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_01: Goody versus the Kool-Aid Man, round three.
• 54:23
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 54:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I I'm gonna go uh I'm gonna go uh Kool-Aid Man, all three rounds.
• 54:30
  SPEAKER_00: Easy knockout, easy.
• 54:32
  SPEAKER_01: Well, well now we're gonna have to stop you right there.
• 54:35
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we are your opinion changed on round two.
• 54:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 54:38
  SPEAKER_01: Your opinion changed.
• 54:42
  SPEAKER_00: Did you find a grandpa's belt?
• 54:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I forgot.
• 54:46
  SPEAKER_01: Well, James, final thoughts.
• 54:48
  SPEAKER_01: Kool-Aid Man versus Gritty.
• 54:50
  SPEAKER_03: I think Chesasaurus Rex is a strong contender.
• 54:53
  SPEAKER_03: I think that Kool-Aid Man, though, I think he would summon the kids, but he'd get high and forget what he was doing.
• 55:00
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that those I think that those parents would sure Philly parents don't fuck around with their kids.
• 55:06
  SPEAKER_03: They are hardcore.
• 55:08
  SPEAKER_03: And those those kids would be under control pretty quickly, and then they would they would they would climb inside inside Kool-Aid Man and break him from the inside by pushing outward.
• 55:20
  SPEAKER_03: That's what I think would happen.
• 55:22
  SPEAKER_03: I think Gritty takes that.
• 55:23
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so then from from then my final thoughts, then that it looks sounds like it's gonna be the tiebreaker, Gritty against the Kool-Aid man.
• 55:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I think that as the Kool-Aid man leaps out, and we've learned that the Kool-Aid man spends his time stirring himself.
• 55:41
  SPEAKER_01: It's basically what happens with the Jesusaurus wrecked.
• 55:49
  SPEAKER_01: I would have to say that Gritty would then burst out, hockey stick in hand, blades on his feet, fangs in his mouth, t-shirt cannon on t-shirt cannon on his back, and Rocky Balboa next to him.
• 56:04
  SPEAKER_00: Having the weirdest day of his life.
• 56:07
  SPEAKER_01: The weirdest day of his life.
• 56:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um, someone make this a YouTube video.
• 56:13
  SPEAKER_01: I think Gritty's gonna come up, slam a hockey stick into the side of the Kool-Aid man whilst Sylvester Stallone portraying Rocky Balboa finishes off Jesusaurus Rex.
• 56:30
  SPEAKER_03: Rocky Balboa fights a tyrannosaur.
• 56:33
  SPEAKER_02: Easily.
• 56:35
  SPEAKER_00: Because earlier that day that happened in Rocky V.
• 56:39
  SPEAKER_01: Well, earlier that day, the Cheesosaurus Rex killed one of Rocky's friends.
• 56:45
  SPEAKER_02: And because Apollo, because Apollo Creed goes down, it it was obviously the the the uh what was his fucking name?
• 56:54
  SPEAKER_02: The the guy who just runs around spending his poly.
• 56:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 56:59
  SPEAKER_00: So the cheese are you saying the cheeseau rex is Dolph Lungren?
• 57:05
  SPEAKER_03: Basically, yeah.
• 57:06
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, Jesus killed Creed.
• 57:09
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, EP killed Apollo Creed.
• 57:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so so because Dolph Lungren already killed Apollo Creed, pulling the actor completely out of his role.
• 57:18
  SPEAKER_01: I would say Jesusaurus Rex definitely killed Polly.
• 57:23
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 57:24
  SPEAKER_03: So so so Rocky's unstoppable when he's out for revenge.
• 57:28
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 57:28
  SPEAKER_01: So now so now so now he's killing Jesusaurus Rex because.
• 57:38
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god.
• 57:40
  SPEAKER_02: So um so Reese is saying Kool-Aid Man, James is saying I say I'm saying the people of Philadelphia win this one.
• 57:47
  SPEAKER_01: The people of Philadelphia bring it home for gritty.
• 57:51
  SPEAKER_01: And then me over here is saying that Rocky Balboa beats the shit out of Jesus Rex for Polly.
• 57:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um Round three goes to Gritty of the Philadelphia Flyers.
• 58:05
  SPEAKER_03: And anarchists and communists, and people who like to destroy things everywhere who love him.
• 58:10
  SPEAKER_01: Whoever it is, but I mean it really just comes down to the hero of any story ever.
• 58:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it's going to gritty.
• 58:16
  SPEAKER_01: There it is.
• 58:16
  SPEAKER_01: Gritty wins it.
• 58:17
  SPEAKER_01: Round one goes to the Kool-Aid man.
• 58:20
  SPEAKER_01: Round two is a tie, and finally, round two goes to Gritty, given the final win to Gritty and Rocky Balboa.
• 58:29
  SPEAKER_01: Sylvester Stallone, we expect something from you.
• 58:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 58:33
  SPEAKER_03: We'll say the expendables was good.
• 58:35
  SPEAKER_03: I have no scruples.
• 58:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I I even heard in that last line the gray goose has got my tongue moving.
• 58:42
  SPEAKER_01: So there it is, people.
• 58:43
  SPEAKER_01: Gritty takes it.
• 58:44
  SPEAKER_01: Philadelphia.
• 58:45
  SPEAKER_01: For those of you who tuned in, I know that's what you were looking for.
• 58:48
  SPEAKER_01: Honestly, I didn't see Rocky Balboa coming to your side, and I was ready to give it to the Kool-Aid man.
• 58:54
  SPEAKER_01: Gritty takes it.
• 58:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um before we close out this podcast, Reese, um, thank you for joining us.
• 59:00
  SPEAKER_01: Did you have any final thoughts?
• 59:02
  SPEAKER_00: No, man.
• 59:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm fucking I'm a ha ha I'm yeah, I'm high as shit.
• 59:08
  SPEAKER_01: That's all we needed.
• 59:10
  SPEAKER_00: I got thoughts.
• 59:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so we'll thank you for joining us, Reese.
• 59:14
  SPEAKER_01: Did you have any shows coming up?
• 59:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um actually New Year's Eve.
• 59:18
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, wait, nope.
• 59:19
  SPEAKER_00: Uh New Year's Eve, I got a private showing.
• 59:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um that's gonna be really fun, uh very uh close-knit group.
• 59:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um then uh but you could regularly catch me at uh on Wednesdays at Dee's Performance Theater in Gary, Indiana, and uh Thursdays, the Market Lounge in uh Valparaiso.
• 59:39
  SPEAKER_00: And uh once once Illinois decides to open its doors again, uh I can't wait to be all over riddles and everywhere like that.
• 59:48
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, it sounds good, and we can't wait to catch you at those places.
• 59:51
  SPEAKER_01: Uh Philadelphia, because we just gave you this huge win over the Kool-Aid man.
• 59:56
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you should fucking check him out.
• 59:57
  SPEAKER_01: What do you say?
• 1:00:00
  SPEAKER_00: Check out uh you could you could check me out at uh Reese Merritt.com on Instagram.
• 1:00:06
  SPEAKER_00: Uh R-E-E-C-E.
• 1:00:09
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
• 1:00:10
  SPEAKER_00: I hope to get a lot of new friends.
• 1:00:12
  SPEAKER_01: So you have nothing to do with the chocolate.
• 1:00:15
  SPEAKER_00: No, no.
• 1:00:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but if I do ask for one, you have to give me one.
• 1:00:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's part of a Mitch Hedberg joke, and that's law.
• 1:00:22
  SPEAKER_03: So I've been Ryan Barron North, and with me as always, James Crosslin.
• 1:00:26
  SPEAKER_03: You can find us on at High and Dry Podcast on Instagram.
• 1:00:30
  SPEAKER_03: You can find us on any place you like podcasts.
• 1:00:33
  SPEAKER_01: Anywhere podcasts are sold.
• 1:00:34
  SPEAKER_01: We're out there now.
• 1:00:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um, we're also getting ready to launch our new YouTube channel where you can look out for all the fun little stuff we're gonna be doing there, and we're also gonna be joining up with some of Reese's cooking shows.
• 1:00:43
  SPEAKER_01: So we're excited to see you out there.
• 1:00:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you guys have a good one.
• 1:00:47
  SPEAKER_00: Hell yeah, and remember to smile through the bullshit.
• 1:00:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's not gonna stop, neither should you.
• 1:00:52
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 1:00:53
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
• 1:00:54
  SPEAKER_01: Make chaos rain.
• 1:00:56
  SPEAKER_01: We'll see you guys next week.
• 1:01:00
  SPEAKER_01: Hello, everybody.
• 1:01:01
  SPEAKER_01: If you've made it this far, well, first we'd like to thank you for that.
• 1:01:05
  SPEAKER_01: We it's listeners like you that we're really doing this for, so thank you for really sticking it out there.
• 1:01:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, we were drinking a lot during that last episode, and you may be seeing that some of our math was a little bit off, so I wanted to come back on here and correct the score real fast.
• 1:01:21
  SPEAKER_01: The versus match ended in a tie.
• 1:01:24
  SPEAKER_01: Kool-Aid Man took round one, the characters tied on round two, and round three went to gritty.
• 1:01:33
  SPEAKER_01: So this big fight ends in a tie.
• 1:01:35
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks again for listening all the way through.
• 1:01:37
  SPEAKER_01: Talk to you guys next week.