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5 Times When A Narcissist Shows Their True Colors · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  So when do narcissists show their true colors?
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  When do they show you who who they really are?
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  When do they take that that mask off and expose themselves for
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  who they really are? That's what we're talking about
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  today, y'all. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist here
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  to give you an inside look at the mind of a narcissist.
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  And welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Color.
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  What's going on, y'all? Yes, inside.
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  Look at the Monobee narcissist. When do they take that mask off?
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  When do narcissists show you their true colors?
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  That's what That's the question that I absolutely get a lot of
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  nowadays. Y'all, before we hop too deep in
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  today's episode, y'all if you, if you don't know, this
• 1:06
  Saturday, April 12th will be in Durham, NC for our next in
• 1:10
  person workshop. In person workshop.
• 1:13
  You can find more information at mentalillness.net/events is
• 1:17
  right here. Or you can go directly to my
• 1:20
  website at mentalillness.net and check everything out there.
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  Mental illness.net. Scroll to the bottom and we will
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  see you in Durham, NC this Saturday.
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  But y'all narcissistic people, I think we all can understand and
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  we all can agree that most narcissists are not going to
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  show you who they are at the very beginning.
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  They're not going to pop up on you and be expose you expose
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  themselves to you for who they really are at the beginning of
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  the relationship dynamic. Because ask yourself this
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  question right here. If a narcissist struggles with
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  caring about themselves, I'm not, I don't say I'm not.
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  I'm not saying that narcissists don't love themselves, right?
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  I'm just saying if a narcissist is struggling to care about
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  themselves, is struggling to, you know, expose themselves or
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  whatever the case may be, what makes you think they're going to
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  like they're going to be themselves with you?
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  If I personally don't think that I'm enough for myself, I
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  definitely am not going to think that I'm enough for you.
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  I just, that just doesn't make logical sense to me, right?
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  It just doesn't make you know, it just doesn't make sense to me
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  at all. So I'm going to pretend to be
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  somebody else. So when I first meet you, I'm
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  going to put my best foot forward.
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  Y'all know y'all, Y'all been following me for a long time.
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  Y'all know people, narcissistic people put their best foot
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  forward, but it's not a real foot.
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  It's a peg leg and you can't tell until you can't tell until
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  later on when they pull their when they pull their pants leg
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  up and it's a peg instead of a foot You like wait what?
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  You're a pirate, you know, and that type of stuff right there.
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  But as you're dealing with this type of person, as you
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  understand the the inner workers of their mind, you understand
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  like they not going to be themselves at first.
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  They they are just not going to be themselves at first.
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  That's one thing you got to just reconcile with.
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  You got to just, you got to take that on the head, as people will
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  say, because that's the way it's going to go.
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  So narcissistic people at the beginning of the relationship
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  dynamic are always going to pretend to be somebody else.
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  They're not going to fully be themselves.
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  They're going to be the best version of what they think that
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  you want. So Lee, get to the point, like
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  damn, like when they're going to take the mask off.
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  I got to explain the mask at first.
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  I got to explain it first because you want to know how I
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  got these scars now. But seriously, that's the way it
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  goes. Like when you're dealing with
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  narcissistic people, like when they when they finally reveal
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  themselves, they're going to be a few different ways that they
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  reveal themselves, right? The first, the first way they
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  reveal themselves for their true character is if they know when
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  they notice your flaws, when they notice that you have flaws,
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  right? Believe with that flaws.
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  Like what you mean? What do you mean flaws?
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  We all, we are all flawed people, yes.
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  But when I say flaws to you, I don't mean that there's
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  something wrong with you. It's just that at the beginning
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  of a relationship with a narcissist, they look at you as
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  perfection, like you are perfect to them, you're perfect for
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  them. They see you as perfection.
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  So when I say flaws, they they don't see you as perfect
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  anymore, right? And that's what I mean, they no
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  longer see you as a perfect person anymore.
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  So when they do that type of stuff right there, when they no
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  longer see you as a flawed, when they see you as a flawed person,
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  they take the love away and they reveal their true character.
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  They just when I when I say flaws, if yeah, a flaw could be
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  something as simple as you send the word no, like literally,
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  literally you opening your mouth and saying the word no could be
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  viewed as a flaw to a narcissistic person.
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  You said in a boundary could be a flaw.
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  So again, flaws are not necessarily bad things.
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  It just depends on the narcissistic person you're
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  dealing with, right? Am I right?
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  Am I right The the next way that a narcissist will take their
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  mask off is is once once they feel like they've got you
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  committed to them, like commitment, like a long term
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  commitment, not a short term commitment.
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  Not like tomorrow we going to clap cheeks.
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  They don't take their mask off for one cheek clapping session,
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  right? I know y'all would love them for
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  they take the mask off after y'all clap cheeks the first time
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  so you can get in and get out, right?
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  But no, sometimes they will, but most times it's like a, a longer
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  commitment is necessary for them to reveal their true character,
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  for them to reveal who they really are.
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  So that's an absolute necessity. So it's just like the flaws and
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  then the commitment. So what I mean by commitment is
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  this right here, y'all a baby, you get pregnant by them or they
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  get they get pregnant by you. They take the mask off, right?
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  Because women can be narcissist as well.
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  They just get into these spaces like you, the baby gets
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  involved. So that's a commitment right
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  there. That's a long term commitment.
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  Mask off, right? Like mask on, mask off, right?
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  And then the next way that you can get narcissistic people like
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  this within a commitment thing is like living together, signing
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  a lease, buying a house together, Co signing on a car
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  together with so many people. Y'all gotta stop Co signing on
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  people y'all just met like yeah come on y'all.
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  Damn it, damn it. How about maybe should I do
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  this? I haven't went on a rant bubble
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  in a couple of months, I feel like, but now I got to go on AI
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  got to go on a rant. Y'all, y'all have got to stop
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  beating people First of all in coast.
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  I mean, I know we talked. Did you?
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  Of course you shouldn't have babies with people you don't
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  know, but the cosine of a car of a person you just met come on
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  now. Damn And then they run off on
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  you. They don't pay the bills
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  anymore. They ruin your damn credit.
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  Come on now, we got to start. We got to start using our
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  critical thinking skills. We have to especially in today's
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  age. Critical thinking is just such a
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  like you get punished for having critical thinking skills and
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  damn near in America this year, like you have critical thinking
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  skills. You, you believe in the truth
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  and it is a it's crazy as hell, but use your critical thinking
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  skills. Y'all please, for the love of
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  everything holy, use those things.
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  Use those critical thinking skills because you got to stop
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  there. Rand over.
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  OK, But yeah, the commitments, they want you to make those
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  commitments to them, right? So that took the mask off once
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  they feel like you committed to them in the long term
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  commitment, house, cars, kids, whatever it is.
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  Y'all work together, y'all got a job together, y'all got y'all in
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  the Army together, y'all have contracts together.
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  Whatever it is in this situation, right?
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  This is a big piece of it. This ends up being a part of it.
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  So when they see what I said, some type of commitment, they'll
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  take their shirts, shirts off. They'll take their mask off in
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  those instances right here. Another thing, another way when
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  they reveal their true colors is when they get angry.
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  Y'all anger, anger, anger brings out the raid.
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  Anger really or conflict really shows you who they really are
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  because of how they have handle anger is them taking their mask
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  off. They can't handle pushback.
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  They can't handle boundaries. So how they handle their anger
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  like they like they can make them take their mask off, but
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  they get angry. You know, if you want to see
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  somebody for who they really are, get them mad.
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  Get them mad, they'll take the mask off.
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  Then they'll yell and scream at you.
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  I don't know what just happened. You see what I'm saying?
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  That type of stuff happens too. So that becomes a piece of it.
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  So that's what part of what you have to understand too, is that
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  narcissistic people get them angry, they'll take the mask
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  off. Anger works.
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  Y'all of course, use discretion if you're going to get somebody
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  angry on purpose especially. But even if you don't get them
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  angry on purpose, when they get angry, that's them taking the
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  mask off because a lot of times they can't control their anger.
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  Narcissistic people tend to be very emotionally dysregulated
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  people and they can't control their anger.
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  So that becomes a big piece of it right there.
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  Well, you have to understand that the way you're going
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  forward. So the way they handle the anger
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  when they take that mask off, that anger is real, That's
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  truthful, that's true, that's righteous, that's not righteous
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  anger, but they, they can't handle it.
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  So get them mad and they will show you their true character.
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  They will take the mask off, They will show you their true
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  colors, right? They absolutely will.
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  They this one of the things that can happen right there.
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  You get a mad, they will show you who they really are put in
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  apply some type of pressure. They will show you who they
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  really are like really seriously get them mad another way, y'all?
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  It can kind of go into the anger.
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  It can kind of go into the anger section right here.
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  So this is going to be a different way.
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  Reject them, make them feel rejected.
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  Damn y'all, please reject them. Say no use the word no.
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  Set a boundaries. You set a boundary, say how they
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  handle the boundary, they'll take the mask off, right?
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  When they feel rejected, they'll take the mask off.
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  They will. And once the yeah, once the mask
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  comes off, they will struggle to try to put it back on, right?
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  If they never can pull it back, put it back on fully, right?
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  So it's like once the mask comes off, once they reveal their true
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  colors to you, they can never put it back on.
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  So that's why you have to protect yourself in these spaces
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  right here, because it's under, it's, it can be very
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  understandable that you would feel in a certain type of way.
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  So Seti bounder, use the word no, make them feel rejected.
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  That's how you can get them to take their mask off and show
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  their true colors. That really is they can be the
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  the most efficient way is to make them get angry to take
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  their damn mask off. And then they get mad and say,
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  Oh yeah, you got who you see who they are, reject them.
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  You know what I mean? Yeah, no, I ain't going.
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  I don't like the video going. These videos going on too long.
• 10:17
  I'm about to start. I'm about to start my extended
• 10:19
  podcast as well. So y'all want to see longer
• 10:21
  videos on this channel? Anyway, the Mental illness
• 10:23
  podcast is launching next week. Start doing interviews next
• 10:26
  week. I'll start putting a link in the
• 10:28
  description of every video and whatnot for the podcast.
• 10:31
  It's coming sooner. Y'all.
• 10:33
  Mental illness podcast, yay. But also, yeah, I would say this
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  too. This is another thing right
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  here. This is the last one we'll close
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  out with. When they take their mask off
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  for real is when they have somebody new.
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  If they have a new supply while they're even, while they're
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  still getting to know you, even while they're still you, you can
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  still be in a love bombing stage with this person and they can
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  still go here, try to find a new supply.
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  When they find, when they find a new supply, you will see them
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  for who they really are. A lot of times their behaviors
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  will shift and you'll start to not recognize this person
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  anymore. You be like, who the hell are
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  you? And you be like I, I don't
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  remember meeting this version of you.
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  And that could damn near get on your damn nerves.
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  That could really put fear into your heart that could really
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  make you feel like you're getting destroyed or whatever.
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  So that's one of the things that happens when they you meet them
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  when you see them, who they really are in these spaces right
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  here. That's going to suck for them,
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  right? So once they find a new supply,
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  they can take feel like they can take their mask off and be who
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  they want to be with you. This is why so many times when
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  you leave these types of relationship dynamics.
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  This is why so many times when you get out of it, you don't
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  recognize the person that they were, you know and you no longer
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  recognize who they are. You be like, who the hell are
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  you? You you didn't used to be this
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  way, but now you are. So what can I do in this
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  situation to help protect me? What can I do in this situation
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  to help save me? How can I handle this?
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  How can I do this? How can I do that?
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  So you have to be prepared for that as well, y'all, because
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  once they have a new supply, they will show you their true
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  colors. And then when they show you the
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  true colors, y'all, it's up to you to just protect yourself in
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  these spaces you had, y'all. Once they show you their true
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  colors, you absolutely have to protect yourself because they
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  cannot put the mask back on. Once the mask comes off, they
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  cannot put it back on in the same way.
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  I promise you. Anyway, y'all, let me wrap this
• 12:22
  thing up again, y'all? We'll be in Durham, NC this
• 12:25
  weekend. You can find everything about
• 12:26
  that at mentalillness.net right here across the bottom of the
• 12:29
  screen. But I also say this, I just
• 12:31
  released my next course. It's called Finding your why.
• 12:35
  How to heal from narcissistic abuse.
• 12:38
  Literally. It's called finding your why.
• 12:40
  You can find that in my coaching everything at mentalillness.net.
• 12:44
  If you want to take a look at my course, Finding Your Why into
• 12:47
  the code YWHY 25 or $25 off because you made it this far
• 12:52
  y'all. And also it's not a it's not an
• 12:54
  expensive course for 40 longer videos, 25,000 words is is.
• 12:59
  I put my heart into that course and it will help you heal.
• 13:01
  I guarantee it. Anyways, y'all be safe, take
• 13:04
  care of yourself and as always y'all, as always, as always,
• 13:10
  thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
• 13:12
  I am extremely grateful for you. Have no idea.
• 13:15
  If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
• 13:16
  to the channel. Help us reach more people and
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  click on the screen to watch another video or to browse
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  through another playlist. There's also a link on the
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  screen to check out my courses and my support groups to help
• 13:25
  you heal and understand what you've been through.
• 13:27
  Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
• 13:29
  video. Peace.