Latest / Funny Comedy | Laugh Out Loud / We Gotta Save the Bees! | Greer Barnes | Stand Up Comedy 🤣🤣🤣

Transcript

We Gotta Save the Bees! | Greer Barnes | Stand Up Comedy 🤣🤣🤣 · Funny Comedy | Laugh Out Loud

• 0:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yay.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_01: This looks nice.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: I wish I had living room.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_03: Wow, how do I start?
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I was in the park last night chasing this white guy.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_03: That's a black history month joke.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_03: Spilled over into March.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_03: I was in the park last night and I saw a black squirrel being chased by two gray squirrels.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_03: And I got anxious.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_03: And I blurted out, Ron nigga.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_03: Faster than that.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_03: Come on, man.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_03: But he ain't kidding because he's a squirrel.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_03: And out of nowhere, this lady was like, You really shouldn't say that word.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_03: A lot of people don't like it.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_03: It makes me feel funny.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_03: And I was like, why are you in the park this lady?
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_03: Don't touch me.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_03: Then the squirrel crawled down the tree and he looked at me and he was like.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_03: And I told him, I don't know her.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_03: I don't feel too safe either, you know.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_03: What happened?
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_03: You dropped the acorn and the cop started shooting.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_03: You gotta protect your nuts, man.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_03: That's what's up.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_03: I'll see you tomorrow.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_03: That's the sound black guys make when they run.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_03: I hope that's not offensive.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_03: Be a bunch of gay guys outside waiting for me.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: We heard what you said in the Get 'em, y'all.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_04: Surround him.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_04: Get his feet.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_03: What's that?
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_03: What don't I like?
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_03: I'll tell you.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_03: I don't like walking up behind white women at night.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_03: Makes me really uncomfortable.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_03: So I cross the street.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_03: A couple nights ago, I'm walking home.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_03: Got my beats going.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_03: I don't have no headphones, I just got beats.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm walking.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_03: Uh-oh, white woman.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_03: Think I'll cross the street.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_03: Uh-oh, another white woman.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_03: So now I'm walking in the middle of the street.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_03: Which makes it look even more creepy.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_03: Then there's the cab driver.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_04: Bam bam! Get out of the street, brother! I'm like Vishnu, there are white women all over the place.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_04: Holy shit, get in!
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_03: He drives me to safety.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_03: And he's like, brother, when walking at night, you have to be very careful.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_03: These policemen and white women are very dangerous, brother.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_03: You have to take care of yourself, Denzel.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's not my name.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_04: As my name is not Vishnu.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_04: Touche, nigga!
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't always want to be a stand-up comic.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_03: I still don't.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_03: I really I really don't want to do this.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_03: When I was younger, I wanted to be an astronaut.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_03: Then my cousin gave me something to smoke, and I was like, we don't have to travel that far.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_03: Milky Ways is right here.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_03: I smoke sometime, a lot, every day.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_03: I smoke and I watch nature shows.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_03: One of my childhood friends was at my place recently and we smoking.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_03: And he looks at me and he's like, hey yo.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_02: How come every time I come to your club?
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_02: We be watching nature shows.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, yo my man.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_02: These danger shows.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_03: They informative.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_03: That's what's up.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_03: What that means.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_03: Keep watching, yo.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_03: We start watching this piece on National Geographic, talking about the plight of the bees.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_03: Narrator goes on to say that if all the bees on the planet died, that the birds would be next.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_03: And then us and my boy is like, we gotta save the bees.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_02: That shit is real, that's real.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_02: Now that I think about it, I ain't see a bee all summer.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_03: Now you informed.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_03: Now go inform the other brothers.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_03: Take this with you.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_03: Then the narrator goes on to say, uh, the European bee is a much more kinder and gentler bee, as opposed to the Africanized bee, which is a much more aggressive, hostile bee.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_03: Really?
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_03: Just gonna try to sneak racism into the buckle.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_03: Like European bees are floating around like.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_04: So what are we going to do today?
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe we can pollinate these flowers like the African bees in his beehive, like who are we?
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_04: Who are we going to sting today?
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_04: There is an unsuspecting white man out there.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_04: They want us to be killer bees, then killer bees we will be.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_04: I don't want to be a killer bee.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_04: You have to be a killer bee.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_04: What type of bee do you want to be?
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_04: Babu?
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_04: No, Baba.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_04: I want to be a honey bee.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_05: Not in this high, you can do it.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_05: You know you do have an aunt named Nun Shad.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_05: You can go there and make all the honey you want.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, Baba.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_05: I will go and be the best honey maker ever.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know where I'm going with this honey.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_03: It's a work in progress.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_03: Feel like I let some of y'all down.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_03: Couple girls in the back.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_04: Finish it.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_03: I took the train down here tonight because I like adventure.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_03: I was in a car with four other white people, all of us had our headphones on.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_03: Car to the car door to the left opens up and walks this dude just doing wild body movements.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_03: I look over at the white people and they're like, we don't see it.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_03: This motherfucker walks past, he's seen and wrong.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_03: See him out the corner of my eye.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_03: Just move my headphone a little bit just to hear.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_03: And this motherfucker's like, I'ma kill all of y'all.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_03: So I got up.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_03: And I went into the next car.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_03: Hope those white people are okay.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_03: The MTA, what a shithole.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_03: You ever read those stupid signs they put up?
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_03: We at the MTA are making improvements so that your ride will be more enjoyable.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_03: Really?
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_03: I still smell piss.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_03: Homeless dude taking his dick out.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_03: He's coming this way.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_03: Hey, come on.