Latest / Sex Advice for Seniors Podcast / Why Women Really Hire Male Escorts | ft. George Goulburn
Transcript
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- 0:27SPEAKER_00: Hi, I'm Suzanne and you're listening to Sex Advice for Seniors.
- 0:32SPEAKER_00: Have you ever wondered what it would be like to hire a male escort?
- 0:37SPEAKER_00: I know I have from time to time when I get a bit frustrated.
- 0:41SPEAKER_00: Most recently when I was in Southeast Asia,
- 0:44SPEAKER_00: I actually did think to myself,
- 0:46I wonder if these sorts of people exist out here because
- 0:48there's certainly a lot of
- 0:49SPEAKER_00: women that do this sort of activity in Southeast Asia,
- 0:54SPEAKER_00: but not
- 0:55SPEAKER_00: George, welcome to Sex Advice for Seniors
- 1:24I love the film I encourage so many people to watch it Emma
- 1:28Thompson is amazing She
- 1:29is but for those who don't know it's about a 61 year old woman
- 1:33who after a very
- 1:35unsexually satisfying marriage following the death of her
- 1:38partner decided that she
- 1:40wants to explore sexual pleasure and hires a young male escort
- 1:46to help her with
- 1:48SPEAKER_00: this task and
- 1:50I was 61 at the time that that film came out she was 61 at the
- 1:54time when that film
- 1:56was made or she was supposed to be 61 so the media kept asking
- 1:59me about you know my
- 2:01sex life and that's how this all started I had one podcast that
- 2:06I was doing with
- 2:07SPEAKER_00: Peter but
- 2:08SPEAKER_00: I'll tell you what frustrated me about that film,
- 2:11SPEAKER_00: and I'm curious to hear your experience,
- 2:14SPEAKER_00: is that I thought,
- 2:16SPEAKER_00: God,
- 2:16SPEAKER_00: this woman is paying for these sessions,
- 2:19SPEAKER_00: and she's not having any sex.
- 2:22SPEAKER_00: Like,
- 2:22SPEAKER_00: for the first three or four sessions,
- 2:25SPEAKER_00: I can't remember how long it took her until they finally got down to it,
- 2:30SPEAKER_00: but it was ages,
- 2:32SPEAKER_00: and I just thought,
- 2:34SPEAKER_00: Do people really do that?
- 2:36SPEAKER_00: Can they afford to just hire somebody like you and just go,
- 2:40SPEAKER_00: yeah,
- 2:41SPEAKER_00: let's just kind of get to know each other?
- 2:43SPEAKER_00: Like, how does it work?
- 2:45SPEAKER_01: Well, the short answer is yes, they do.
- 2:48I found that film to be very true to life of so many of my
- 2:52clients because that
- 2:55SPEAKER_01: film does it so well.
- 2:57SPEAKER_01: It really tells the genuine story of what it's like.
- 3:00So many of my clients are in their 60s and they've not had
- 3:04intimacy for a very long time.
- 3:07SPEAKER_01: They're not ready to just jump into sex with an escort.
- 3:11SPEAKER_01: It takes them time to build up their confidence and feel safe.
- 3:15And I'll come back to the word safe all the time because it's
- 3:18the most important
- 3:19SPEAKER_01: aspect of what I do.
- 3:20SPEAKER_01: And
- 3:22It might get them to a point where they initially might be very
- 3:26uncomfortable with their body.
- 3:28They might have situations in their past that make them not
- 3:33ready to be naked in front of a man.
- 3:37So that is a genuine representation of what it's like for many
- 3:43women to eventually
- 3:44get to the point where they might choose to get naked and then
- 3:48explore sex.
- 3:50SPEAKER_01: So
- 3:51Yeah I think it was a marvelous job and I had many clients who
- 3:55would fit that mold
- 3:56perfectly Wow that's really fascinating because yeah for me I
- 4:01just wanted someone
- 4:02who would just get down to it frankly but this wasn't always
- 4:05your job was it?
- 4:07SPEAKER_00: How the hell did you get started in all of this?
- 4:11That's a great question Suzanne and you know I've worked for 30
- 4:15years in the
- 4:16SPEAKER_01: corporate and government sectors I've got a couple of university degrees
- 4:21SPEAKER_01: So it's not the usual pivot.
- 4:23SPEAKER_01: It's not the usual career change from the boardroom to the bedroom.
- 4:29SPEAKER_01: And for me, though, I'm in my mid-50s now.
- 4:35SPEAKER_01: This has been on my mind for around 15 years,
- 4:37SPEAKER_01: since I was about the age of 40,
- 4:40SPEAKER_01: because that's when I came out of my last long-term relationship.
- 4:43SPEAKER_01: So ever since then, I've been dating like crazy.
- 4:46SPEAKER_01: It's like an Olympic sport for me.
- 4:49SPEAKER_01: Perhaps...
- 4:50SPEAKER_01: And that's because I'm an extrovert and I love women,
- 4:53SPEAKER_01: I love dating,
- 4:54SPEAKER_01: I love learning So over the course of all of those years,
- 4:58SPEAKER_01: there were so many women that I would be dating who would say,
- 5:01SPEAKER_01: where are the guys like you?
- 5:03Where are the guys who can hold a conversation and be
- 5:06interesting and interested
- 5:08and who will ask me questions and won't talk about their car or
- 5:12their portfolio or
- 5:13all this boring crap And quite a number of them encouraged me
- 5:18to get paid for what
- 5:18SPEAKER_01: I'm doing
- 5:20And so there was a really opportune moment a few years back
- 5:23when I was made
- 5:24SPEAKER_01: redundant in the job that I was doing,
- 5:27SPEAKER_01: which was high pay but high stress.
- 5:31So I took that as a bit of a sign from the universe to follow
- 5:35what I was destined
- 5:37SPEAKER_01: perhaps to do,
- 5:38SPEAKER_01: which is this work.
- 5:40I'm a big believer in manifesting and at the time there was a
- 5:45former male escort in
- 5:47Australia here and I must say it's legal in most parts of
- 5:51Australia so what I'm
- 5:52doing is not controversial I know in the States it's very
- 5:56different so that's why
- 5:57I'm very public I'm very comfortable with what I do and anyway
- 6:01this former escort
- 6:02had written a book he was doing a tour of that book and doing a
- 6:06lot of media
- 6:08And he shifted into the space where he was teaching men over 40
- 6:13who wanted to do
- 6:14SPEAKER_01: the work how they do the work.
- 6:16SPEAKER_01: So it just felt like,
- 6:18SPEAKER_01: you know,
- 6:18SPEAKER_01: I laid it in my lap,
- 6:19SPEAKER_01: so to speak So I reached out,
- 6:22SPEAKER_01: we had a video call a couple of days later And he said to me,
- 6:27SPEAKER_01: look,
- 6:27SPEAKER_01: here's how much you should price Here's where you advertise,
- 6:31SPEAKER_01: get a photo shoot,
- 6:32SPEAKER_01: all these things And very quickly thereafter,
- 6:36SPEAKER_01: it just all came together And that's where it began And,
- 6:42SPEAKER_01: you know,
- 6:42SPEAKER_01: I'm very fortunate to have wonderful family and friends
- 6:46And they're comfortable with what I do So I don't have to have
- 6:50any sort of shame or
- 6:51embarrassment of what I'm doing And that's not the case for so
- 6:55many other people in
- 6:56this industry So I really count my blessings I'm very fortunate
- 7:01about that And it's
- 7:03SPEAKER_01: been a fascinating road these last few years And yeah,
- 7:08I consider it the most giving and generous and beautiful job
- 7:11I've ever had in my
- 7:12SPEAKER_01: life
- 7:13SPEAKER_00: Wow, amazing.
- 7:14SPEAKER_00: And so I was going to ask about your family.
- 7:16SPEAKER_00: So the fact it's legal and your family is comfortable about this.
- 7:20But when we think of escorting,
- 7:23we always think,
- 7:25who are these people who hire escorts?
- 7:28SPEAKER_00: Because certainly the men that I know who have hired escorts,
- 7:34SPEAKER_00: typically they do it for one of two reasons.
- 7:37SPEAKER_00: Either because it's just easy or
- 7:40SPEAKER_00: and they just think, do you know what?
- 7:42SPEAKER_00: I don't want to go through the hassle of like having a girlfriend,
- 7:46SPEAKER_00: having to make that kind of commitment.
- 7:49SPEAKER_00: I just want to have sex.
- 7:51SPEAKER_00: This is what it's for.
- 7:52SPEAKER_00: A woman rocks up.
- 7:54SPEAKER_00: She goes down on me, whatever goes on, right?
- 7:58And then the other people are people who perhaps struggle to
- 8:00find a partner and are
- 8:02SPEAKER_00: sexually frustrated and think,
- 8:05this is one way of meeting my sexual needs and personally I
- 8:09don't have any problem
- 8:10about escorts whatsoever as you can probably tell I think they
- 8:13do a really valuable
- 8:14service and I've known several over the years and they're
- 8:17amazing people amazing
- 8:18people but I have to say I've met in my life one very
- 8:24successful male escort in the
- 8:26SPEAKER_00: UK and when I ended up having this conversation with him
- 8:32SPEAKER_00: He confided in me that most of his clients actually weren't women.
- 8:36SPEAKER_00: They were straight men that wanted a male experience.
- 8:42SPEAKER_00: Do you get that sort of inquiry as well?
- 8:46SPEAKER_00: Or do you find that the women that you get,
- 8:49SPEAKER_00: are they women that fall into the two camps that the men would fall into?
- 8:53SPEAKER_00: Or is there a completely different category on the female side?
- 8:58SPEAKER_00: And
- 8:59SPEAKER_00: Is there enough work, I guess, what I'm asking?
- 9:01SPEAKER_00: Is there enough work just catering to women?
- 9:04SPEAKER_01: Yeah, look, there's a bunch of questions you ask me.
- 9:07SPEAKER_01: Really unpack them.
- 9:09SPEAKER_01: I'm 100% straight.
- 9:11And people might have the misconception that,
- 9:14bullshit,
- 9:15you're not straight.
- 9:16SPEAKER_01: I can guarantee you I am.
- 9:18SPEAKER_01: I have zero desire to be with men.
- 9:21So I rule that out straight away I will often get inquiries
- 9:25from men wondering if I
- 9:26SPEAKER_01: will do something with them And the answer is,
- 9:29read my profile Straight male escort It's what it says on the
- 9:33label So yeah,
- 9:35SPEAKER_01: that is not something I ever entertain I do on very,
- 9:40very rare occasions see couples But that is for a particular
- 9:45reason And it could be
- 9:46SPEAKER_01: because the man...
- 9:48struggles with intimacy and he can't provide what his partner
- 9:52or his wife wants.
- 9:53And that's a very rigorous process for me to determine if they
- 9:57are the right type
- 9:58SPEAKER_01: of clientele for me.
- 9:59SPEAKER_01: But all of my clients are women.
- 10:02SPEAKER_01: So they are in certain circumstances,
- 10:06SPEAKER_01: but like you were just saying,
- 10:07SPEAKER_01: they're very different to men seeking out female escorts.
- 10:11SPEAKER_01: My minimum booking is two hours.
- 10:14And that's because women don't want to come in and just have a
- 10:1810-minute session
- 10:19and go And I've come to know many female escorts And they do
- 10:24provide that type of
- 10:25SPEAKER_01: service Because there are men who just,
- 10:28SPEAKER_01: that's all they want They want to pressure boundaries And that's fine,
- 10:31SPEAKER_01: no judgment whatsoever But the both of my clientele,
- 10:35SPEAKER_01: they want connection They want to be seen,
- 10:40SPEAKER_01: be heard
- 10:42Two hours is barely enough to begin with I put a lot of time
- 10:48and attention into the
- 10:50SPEAKER_01: pre-meeting Let's say,
- 10:53SPEAKER_01: for example,
- 10:53a woman reaches out to me via my website or where I advertise
- 10:58and makes an inquiry
- 11:00SPEAKER_01: saying,
- 11:00SPEAKER_01: George,
- 11:01SPEAKER_01: I'm interested in meeting you
- 11:03I go through a very extensive process to figure out if I'm the
- 11:06best person for that
- 11:08woman so I don't need to accept every client inquiry that I get
- 11:13and I don't but I
- 11:15will ask questions like well tell me a bit about yourself
- 11:19what's your backstory and
- 11:23are you in a relationship or they can tell me whatever it is
- 11:26they choose to tell me
- 11:28And I don't love that But I need to understand if I'm going to
- 11:33be the best person
- 11:33SPEAKER_01: for them And if not,
- 11:36SPEAKER_01: I won't accept the booking
- 11:38SPEAKER_01: It's really important for me to appreciate who they are,
- 11:44SPEAKER_01: what I can give to them,
- 11:45SPEAKER_01: and if not,
- 11:46SPEAKER_01: I will either just say a flat no,
- 11:49SPEAKER_01: or if I think they are very genuine,
- 11:52SPEAKER_01: because I do know some other good quality male escorts,
- 11:55SPEAKER_01: I might say,
- 11:56SPEAKER_01: you may want to reach out to this person.
- 11:59SPEAKER_01: But sex is far down the list in terms of what most women want.
- 12:04SPEAKER_01: In a very large proportion of my clientele, it's intimacy.
- 12:08Connection Simple things like Having a man to pay attention to
- 12:12them Hold their hand
- 12:15Hug them And just be totally present So that's where it's
- 12:20vastly different From a
- 12:22SPEAKER_01: female escort to a male escort
- 12:24And has your view of intimacy and connection and relationships
- 12:29changed since you
- 12:30SPEAKER_00: started doing this?
- 12:31SPEAKER_01: Completely.
- 12:32SPEAKER_01: Yes, it has.
- 12:33SPEAKER_01: I'll give you an example.
- 12:35SPEAKER_01: So I have a number of clients in their 60s,
- 12:39SPEAKER_01: 70s and even in their 80s who have reached out to me and I've got to,
- 12:46SPEAKER_01: as I just said,
- 12:47SPEAKER_01: understand who they are,
- 12:48SPEAKER_01: what their situation is and what it is they want from me.
- 12:51SPEAKER_01: What can I provide?
- 12:53And for many of them,
- 12:55it is purely a social connection,
- 12:58at least to begin with.
- 13:00SPEAKER_01: So there's a particular client in her 60s,
- 13:03SPEAKER_01: I've seen her for about two years now,
- 13:06SPEAKER_01: roughly every month.
- 13:08SPEAKER_01: So that's a lot of interactions.
- 13:10And it's only been in the last couple of months we've actually
- 13:14become physical in
- 13:15SPEAKER_01: terms of actual sex.
- 13:18Because that's a very sacred thing for her And building up
- 13:23these lovely connections
- 13:25SPEAKER_01: between us We'll go out for lunch,
- 13:27SPEAKER_01: we'll hold hands,
- 13:28we'll go to an art gallery And do these things that she's never
- 13:33been married,
- 13:33SPEAKER_01: she never had children
- 13:35SPEAKER_01: But for her,
- 13:36this is just so extraordinary It's a man paying attention to
- 13:41her for the first time
- 13:42SPEAKER_01: in her life And for her,
- 13:43that's worth paying for That's intimacy for her So there are so
- 13:48many different ways
- 13:49SPEAKER_01: of expressing touch and physical connection And just that beautiful heart
- 13:56SPEAKER_01: connection that we can have with people
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- 14:47SPEAKER_00: And do people,
- 14:49SPEAKER_00: in a similar way to sometimes people fall for their psychotherapist,
- 14:53SPEAKER_00: do you have that issue where sometimes,
- 14:56especially when you're developing these relationships over
- 14:59years and it's not just
- 15:01SPEAKER_00: a one-off kind of quickie,
- 15:03SPEAKER_00: do you have situations where people do develop strong feelings for you?
- 15:08SPEAKER_00: And if so, how do you deal with that?
- 15:11SPEAKER_01: Absolutely, yes, that happens.
- 15:14I consider the connections that I have with those clients to be
- 15:18relationships.
- 15:19SPEAKER_01: I have a relationship with them.
- 15:22SPEAKER_01: And that's part and parcel of being human because we share so much.
- 15:27SPEAKER_01: We share conversations about their life and my line-off.
- 15:31SPEAKER_01: I need to maintain a boundary that this ultimately is a transaction.
- 15:37There's an exchange of money for a service It's like you might
- 15:40have a great
- 15:41hairdresser You're paying the hairdresser to do your hair and
- 15:45look good But they're
- 15:47SPEAKER_01: not necessarily going to be your best friend
- 15:50But it can get a bit blurry sometimes because particularly when
- 15:55sex is involved,
- 15:57SPEAKER_01: it does change the brain chemistry.
- 15:59SPEAKER_01: It really makes women feel differently.
- 16:01SPEAKER_01: So,
- 16:02SPEAKER_01: for instance,
- 16:03if I've had this level of intimacy with a man for a very long
- 16:07time and I'm giving
- 16:08SPEAKER_01: them all the attention and say all the right things,
- 16:13SPEAKER_01: they might be thinking,
- 16:15SPEAKER_01: you're exactly what I want.
- 16:17SPEAKER_00: Exactly, yeah.
- 16:19SPEAKER_01: But as I say, you can rent me, but you can't buy me.
- 16:23SPEAKER_01: And that's a really challenging thing for a lot of women.
- 16:26They see this thing that they wanted for a very long time,
- 16:30but they can't have me in that way.
- 16:34That's very difficult yourself to manage and navigate those
- 16:38kind of relationships.
- 16:40Yeah,
- 16:40of course,
- 16:41because I'm human as well,
- 16:43and I give a great deal to these connections.
- 16:47SPEAKER_01: I'm as authentic as I can possibly be.
- 16:50SPEAKER_01: So what I'm providing is not fake.
- 16:53SPEAKER_01: I'm not an actor.
- 16:55SPEAKER_01: I can't do that.
- 16:56But I need to maintain a strong boundary so that what I'm
- 17:00providing is genuine and
- 17:02SPEAKER_01: real,
- 17:02SPEAKER_01: but authentic.
- 17:04There's a line and that can't be crossed because that's not
- 17:07what I'm going to do.
- 17:09And the matter of the fact is,
- 17:11this is my job and I'm not going to be monogamous with a
- 17:17client.
- 17:18SPEAKER_01: So it is a very vexed and very delicate area to step around.
- 17:24SPEAKER_00: And I was thinking about the start of this conversation where,
- 17:27SPEAKER_00: well,
- 17:27SPEAKER_00: there's two things that I'm curious about.
- 17:28SPEAKER_00: One is when you initially got into this job and
- 17:33SPEAKER_00: Several women said to you, you'd be really good at this.
- 17:36SPEAKER_00: Now,
- 17:37SPEAKER_00: I was with a guy years ago,
- 17:39SPEAKER_00: actually,
- 17:40SPEAKER_00: who was incredibly charming,
- 17:42SPEAKER_00: and I tried to set up something for him called Charm School for Boys,
- 17:45because I thought what he'd be really good at is a bit like the
- 17:49original course
- 17:50SPEAKER_00: that you went on,
- 17:51SPEAKER_00: just teaching men how it was to be charming.
- 17:54But for me,
- 17:54if I meet someone charming and lovely,
- 17:57I don't want to rent them out.
- 17:59I want to keep them because they're fun and they're charming
- 18:01and they're lovely and
- 18:03when those women said to you you'd be really good at this I
- 18:07think that's a very
- 18:08interesting thing what was it that you were not good at that
- 18:11made them think that
- 18:12SPEAKER_00: you'd be good at being rented out and not good as their forever man
- 18:19SPEAKER_00: Because prior to getting into this,
- 18:21SPEAKER_00: if you were the guy that you claimed to be,
- 18:24SPEAKER_00: I'd be like,
- 18:24SPEAKER_00: I want to keep this one.
- 18:26SPEAKER_00: He's clicking all the right buttons.
- 18:28So what was it that you weren't doing that made them go,
- 18:31why don't you rent yourself out?
- 18:33SPEAKER_01: No, I love that, Suzanne.
- 18:35SPEAKER_01: So...
- 18:36Just it's important to understand a bit of the backstory so I
- 18:40was married once I
- 18:42had another long-term relationship so 20 years of my adult life
- 18:47was spent in the
- 18:49traditional relationships you know living together having kids
- 18:52all those things and
- 18:54so when that last one ended around 15 years ago I just knew
- 18:59that was not what I
- 19:00SPEAKER_01: wanted to do anymore so all the dating I referred to
- 19:05I've been for the most part ethically non-monogamous that means
- 19:10that I've been
- 19:12dating multiple women and they've all known that that's what
- 19:17I'm doing and most of
- 19:18them are doing the same thing so I'm very honest and very
- 19:23upfront that I'm not
- 19:24SPEAKER_01: offering the provisional
- 19:28Leading Together Sharing Bank Accounts All those type of things
- 19:31So if that's what
- 19:32you want Amazing But I'm not the guy So I'm very upfront about
- 19:38those things So that
- 19:40SPEAKER_01: if you like me And I like you
- 19:42SPEAKER_01: In saying that,
- 19:49I must admit that I'm not close-minded to something amazing
- 19:54happening in my life
- 19:56That would be a bit fooling But the price of entry is
- 20:00complexity And this is what I
- 20:03do And in the last few years of doing this escorting work I've
- 20:08expected that
- 20:10SPEAKER_01: Not many women will want to date me because it's complex.
- 20:15SPEAKER_00: It is.
- 20:16SPEAKER_01: There's a lot going on here.
- 20:18SPEAKER_01: But this is my story.
- 20:20SPEAKER_01: This is my truth.
- 20:22SPEAKER_01: And I absolutely love what I'm doing.
- 20:24SPEAKER_01: And I'm very passionate about it, as I think you can tell.
- 20:28SPEAKER_01: Because I bring great joy to women.
- 20:31SPEAKER_01: And it's like the most profound profession I think I've ever had.
- 20:37SPEAKER_00: You mentioned creating trust and safety and how important that is.
- 20:41And I can appreciate that because you're going into a situation
- 20:45with a stranger initially.
- 20:46SPEAKER_00: They don't know you.
- 20:47SPEAKER_00: They don't know anything about you.
- 20:49SPEAKER_00: How do you create that feeling of safety and trust?
- 20:54SPEAKER_01: Many of my clients have had serious traumas.
- 20:58Many of them have had sexual abuse and that's a hell of a lot
- 21:04to deal with.
- 21:05I make it very clear that I'm not a therapist and if they
- 21:09present those type of
- 21:10SPEAKER_01: things to me,
- 21:11I sort of ask if they are seeing a therapist or they're seeing
- 21:15professional help
- 21:16SPEAKER_01: for those things because I can't provide that.
- 21:19SPEAKER_01: But when you look at,
- 21:20SPEAKER_01: say,
- 21:21SPEAKER_01: my website or where I advertise,
- 21:23SPEAKER_01: I'm as open-minded as I can possibly be and very clear.
- 21:27SPEAKER_01: So there will be,
- 21:28SPEAKER_01: I talk about the various courses that I've done,
- 21:31SPEAKER_01: talk about the,
- 21:33SPEAKER_01: well,
- 21:33SPEAKER_01: there's testimonials from clients who have seen me.
- 21:36And they're quite raw and direct and honest because my
- 21:41reputation is everything.
- 21:43SPEAKER_01: If I was not doing a good job, I would never get any more clients.
- 21:48But I have an ability,
- 21:49I think,
- 21:50to make women feel relaxed and comfortable.
- 21:54SPEAKER_01: It's just in my inherent nature.
- 21:56SPEAKER_01: I've grown up with very strong women in my life from the day I was born,
- 22:01SPEAKER_01: from my mother and my grandmother and sister and partners.
- 22:06SPEAKER_01: So I've got a really deep love and respect for women.
- 22:11SPEAKER_01: I think it comes across quite naturally.
- 22:14SPEAKER_01: Pretty much every client that approaches me is nervous.
- 22:18SPEAKER_01: Most of them have never done this before, never reached out to an escort.
- 22:23So the questioning that I asked them,
- 22:25as I alluded to earlier,
- 22:27like,
- 22:27what's brought you here?
- 22:28SPEAKER_01: How are you feeling?
- 22:30SPEAKER_01: Those questions just disarm them.
- 22:32SPEAKER_01: It's just very natural and easy for me.
- 22:35SPEAKER_01: And there's never any pressure to do anything, ever.
- 22:39SPEAKER_01: So by the time we meet,
- 22:41SPEAKER_01: hopefully they've got a good sense that this guy is someone I can trust.
- 22:46SPEAKER_01: If not, there's all these other safety mechanisms.
- 22:49SPEAKER_01: So we meet in public and I let them know,
- 22:52SPEAKER_01: hey,
- 22:52tell someone where you're going and who you're going to be with
- 22:56and how long you
- 22:57expect to be with me so that they've got all of those safety
- 23:01dials in place.
- 23:02SPEAKER_00: Yeah,
- 23:03I've had a couple of sensual massages that ended with sort of
- 23:07happy endings,
- 23:08SPEAKER_00: and I had to sign quite a long consent form around what I was and was not
- 23:14SPEAKER_00: comfortable with them doing.
- 23:16SPEAKER_00: Is that just inherent consent through the conversation that you have?
- 23:20SPEAKER_00: Do you make them sign any written piece of paper?
- 23:23SPEAKER_00: Like, what's the sort of legalities around this?
- 23:26SPEAKER_01: No,
- 23:27SPEAKER_01: look,
- 23:27SPEAKER_01: I don't make them sign anything because even if I were to,
- 23:32SPEAKER_01: I don't know whether that would hold up in a court.
- 23:34SPEAKER_01: And that's something on me,
- 23:36SPEAKER_01: I think,
- 23:37SPEAKER_01: because I do everything I possibly can to make them feel comfortable.
- 23:42But there's always the chance that someone will have a less
- 23:45than ideal experience,
- 23:47SPEAKER_01: and I can't control that.
- 23:49But that's an element of risk that I take on and that's why I
- 23:53filter very carefully.
- 23:55I will always do the very best I can and I will always talk
- 24:00around consent.
- 24:01SPEAKER_01: I've spent years in this sector
- 24:04SPEAKER_01: Sure,
- 24:04SPEAKER_01: I've only done this work for a few years,
- 24:06but in my private life I've done a lot of work around kink and
- 24:10BDSM and consent and
- 24:11SPEAKER_01: all these things.
- 24:12So it's super important to have the conversations around what
- 24:16are your boundaries?
- 24:17SPEAKER_01: What are the things I need to know?
- 24:19SPEAKER_01: How are we going to communicate around consent?
- 24:23Is there anything that might trigger you in this conversation
- 24:26or this connection?
- 24:27SPEAKER_01: What might be your trauma responses from people-pleasing to fight,
- 24:33SPEAKER_01: flight,
- 24:33SPEAKER_01: fawn or freeze and how are you going to let me know that?
- 24:38SPEAKER_01: So in every possible way
- 24:42We've got the best chance of elucidating that and them being
- 24:47safe And obviously
- 24:48I'll pay attention to body language But if there's someone I've
- 24:51not met before I
- 24:53SPEAKER_01: can't be 100% guaranteed that I will pick up on their signals So look,
- 25:00SPEAKER_01: it's not infallible But I will do my very best And thus far,
- 25:05SPEAKER_01: I've not had an issue with it
- 25:07SPEAKER_00: And what preconceptions do you think people have about male escorts,
- 25:11SPEAKER_00: particularly straight male escorts who work with women?
- 25:14SPEAKER_01: Well, first, they think I'm not straight, like I just said before.
- 25:19SPEAKER_01: Surely he's got to be bisexual.
- 25:22SPEAKER_01: I'm here to guarantee that I am not.
- 25:24SPEAKER_01: Actually, I might ask you a question.
- 25:27When you think of a male escort as a stereotype,
- 25:31what do you think they look like?
- 25:33SPEAKER_01: Who are they?
- 25:35I suppose in my head I've got some guy that looks a bit like a
- 25:39model with a you
- 25:40know a six pack and just like really hot and a huge dick
- 25:45obviously my six pack is
- 25:47SPEAKER_01: the beer in the fridge
- 25:49SPEAKER_01: And I'm not hot,
- 25:50SPEAKER_01: I'm not young,
- 25:51I'm not a personal trainer And my clients don't want that
- 25:55either Because it's only
- 25:57a small number of male escorts to begin with There's at least
- 26:0350 times the number
- 26:04SPEAKER_01: of female escorts So when you narrow that down,
- 26:08the male escorts are very often in their 20s You've got that
- 26:13ripped gym body
- 26:15SPEAKER_01: Yeah, they've got their photos of their shirts off and all those things.
- 26:18SPEAKER_01: That's not me.
- 26:20SPEAKER_01: And my clientele don't want that either.
- 26:22SPEAKER_01: Because my average clientele is in their 60s, 70s.
- 26:27SPEAKER_01: And they want someone they can have a conversation with.
- 26:30They don't want someone who's the age of their son,
- 26:33who's got not much going on up here.
- 26:35SPEAKER_01: All powers for those guys.
- 26:37SPEAKER_01: All respect for them.
- 26:38SPEAKER_01: But...
- 26:40I think I've got a particular niche and that's what I work on
- 26:43and that's what works
- 26:44for me yeah I lean into everything that I have and if I were to
- 26:50have a I guess a
- 26:52memoir from you know that included when I was a teenager I
- 26:56wouldn't have thought
- 26:58become a male escort in my 50s but here I am I didn't think I
- 27:02was going to host a
- 27:03podcast about sex for old people either but you know here we
- 27:07are George right
- 27:08Suzanne is so necessary because what we're talking about are
- 27:11things that most
- 27:12people don't talk about we are all sexual creatures and what I
- 27:17like to say is that
- 27:19we are all born because of an orgasm yeah think about it in a
- 27:25basic level a man had
- 27:28an orgasm that created human life and we get weird and we don't
- 27:33talk about it
- 27:34SPEAKER_00: No, I agree Why is that?
- 27:35And then we create shame and all these terrible things around
- 27:40sex when it's just a
- 27:42SPEAKER_01: simple act like breathing It's like,
- 27:44SPEAKER_01: well,
- 27:44SPEAKER_01: yes,
- 27:45of course we have sex Of course we do this and we do that And
- 27:49so why do we get so
- 27:51SPEAKER_01: odd about speaking about it?
- 27:54SPEAKER_00: One of the things that's so useful,
- 27:56SPEAKER_00: even if a client only has one or two sessions with you,
- 27:59SPEAKER_00: is that you're helping them to articulate their sexual needs and desires.
- 28:05You're helping them to actually think about their own pleasure
- 28:09and you're helping
- 28:10them to actually be able to have a proper conversation about
- 28:14what they like.
- 28:15SPEAKER_00: And as you
- 28:16SPEAKER_00: said, and I suspect is very true for a lot of those people.
- 28:19SPEAKER_00: This may be the first time that they ever did that.
- 28:22And I know during my own marriage,
- 28:25we just didn't have those conversations.
- 28:27And it wasn't until I left my marriage and started dating and
- 28:31realized that
- 28:32SPEAKER_00: actually,
- 28:32SPEAKER_00: if I wasn't on the same page with somebody with regard to
- 28:37How I like to experience sexual pleasure,
- 28:39then it just wasn't going to work.
- 28:41So there was no point in me going on 50 dates with some guy
- 28:45only to find out we get
- 28:46SPEAKER_00: into bed together.
- 28:47SPEAKER_00: He wants to be submissive.
- 28:48SPEAKER_00: I want to be submissive.
- 28:50SPEAKER_00: It just doesn't work, you know?
- 28:51SPEAKER_01: Something also that I discovered,
- 28:52SPEAKER_01: which was a bit of a lesson for me,
- 28:55SPEAKER_01: is that I've actually had sex with virgins.
- 28:59SPEAKER_01: And as a man in my mid-50s, I never thought I'd have sex with the virgin.
- 29:05SPEAKER_01: And why would I?
- 29:06SPEAKER_01: So I've had sex with two virgins.
- 29:09SPEAKER_01: One is 25.
- 29:11SPEAKER_01: The other was 55.
- 29:15And I guess what that tells me and what that demonstrates is
- 29:18that there's a hidden
- 29:20SPEAKER_01: thing of so many people,
- 29:22SPEAKER_01: or more people than perhaps you might imagine,
- 29:25SPEAKER_01: have not had sex.
- 29:27And we just don't talk about that So it's wonderful to be able
- 29:32to explore that And
- 29:34be a professional in doing what I do And provide that extra
- 29:39level of care and
- 29:40responsibility I never thought I would have sex with the Virgin
- 29:44at my age But if
- 29:46they're there and they want that It's something sacred And I
- 29:50would pay deep
- 29:50SPEAKER_01: attention to that
- 29:52SPEAKER_01: And if I can make that first experience really profound,
- 29:56SPEAKER_01: that's an honor and a grace to you that I've brought.
- 30:00SPEAKER_00: That's unbelievable.
- 30:01SPEAKER_00: So when a client leaves your company feeling fantastic,
- 30:05what do you hope they're really walking away with beyond the
- 30:08experience itself?
- 30:10SPEAKER_01: You know,
- 30:11SPEAKER_01: I see them,
- 30:12SPEAKER_01: to quote the Annie Lennox song,
- 30:14SPEAKER_01: Walking on Sunshine,
- 30:16SPEAKER_01: they're like standing tall,
- 30:18SPEAKER_01: they're proud,
- 30:19SPEAKER_01: they've got a massive smile and people they know say,
- 30:23SPEAKER_01: what's happened?
- 30:24SPEAKER_01: What's changed in you?
- 30:26SPEAKER_01: Because it's so obvious.
- 30:28SPEAKER_01: and I hope that gives them confidence that they are sexy,
- 30:33they are attractive and they can get out of their head that
- 30:38tells them you're not
- 30:40SPEAKER_01: interesting,
- 30:40you're not appealing and all these things and I can guarantee
- 30:44you this has happened
- 30:45many times where they then have the confidence to go out and
- 30:49feel comfortable
- 30:52Attractive And Appealing To The Universe And To The People
- 30:55Around Them And They Can
- 30:58Then Move On If They Choose To Date And Experience This
- 31:02Affection I've Just Been
- 31:03The Stepping Stone To Help Them Get There And That's The
- 31:07Biggest Gear Dives From
- 31:07Gift It's Beautiful That's Lovely Well There's Nothing Like
- 31:11That Great Feeling Is
- 31:12SPEAKER_00: There When You've Been Royally Fucked Anyway Just Saying
- 31:16SPEAKER_00: It's been so lovely to chat with you.
- 31:19Have a fantastic evening in Australia and we'll post your
- 31:24socials and everything if
- 31:26SPEAKER_00: anybody wants to get in touch with George and experience his delights.
- 31:30SPEAKER_01: Anyhow, I'd be delighted.
- 31:31SPEAKER_01: I'm very open and I welcome any and all questions and conversations.
- 31:36SPEAKER_01: So thank you so much.
- 31:39I want to give a huge thanks to Eloisa Ken and Kyle who make
- 31:43every episode shine
- 31:45join our community and catch up on past conversations at
- 31:49sexadviceforseniors.com