Latest / Dear Chelsea / Everything Everyone Says is True with Jay Shetty

Transcript

Everything Everyone Says is True with Jay Shetty · Dear Chelsea

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Okay, hi, everybody. Some tour dates coming up. I'm doing
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: two shows in Winnipeg. That's Winnipeg. I want to say
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: in Manitoba, Canada, but I could be wrong. Anyway, It's
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: in Canada March tenth and March eleventh. There are still
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: tickets for the March tenth show, so pick those up.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: I'm coming to Toronto two shows, still tickets for the
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: second show available. Then I go to Ottawa and then
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: I kick off my American portion of the tour, picking
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: back up April fourt in Iowa, Ceda Rapperts, Iowa, and
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: then Des Moines, Iowa, and then Omaha, Nebraska. One two
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: three punch go to Chelsea Hamla dot com for the
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: rest of the cities that I will be touring in.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: And we are picking back up my Vaccinated and Horny
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: tour after my brief ski rescipite. So we had a
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: little dipsy doodle skiing this week. Um. First of all,
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: good afternoon, everybody. Hi, Hi, Hi, Catherine, Hi Joe KOI
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: does not like to ski in the trees, and a
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: lot of people are scared of the trees. I love
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: the trees, but I try not to force him down
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: the trees. But I try to go in trees where
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: there's space so that he doesn't have to make any quick,
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: fancy moves. And I take him in the trees a
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: lot to practice so that he'll start to like the
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: only way to get better it's something, is to continually
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: do it right anyway, So we there was a huge,
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: huge snow dump in Whistler, and now I'm speaking like skiers.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: There was a huge dump and we went through the
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: woods and we were with my guide Kelly, who is
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: an excellent skier, and Joe could not get his skis
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: underneath him. They just he was falling left, right, and center,
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: and he skied pretty much into a tree. It wasn't
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: a big tree. So I was like, honey, stay there,
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: I'll come up because I was beneath him. I had
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: skied down. I was down like twenty well probably first
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: I was like, funk do I take my boots off
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: from my skis because that's a big no no, and
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: skiing like you never want to be in your boots
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: because you don't know how deep the powder is going
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: to be, and then you could sink all the way down.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: So you need your skis because they're like a boat.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: So I was like, fun, fun. So I took them
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: off and I started to climb up. I was like,
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: all right, I'm strong enough. I'm a mountain woman. Now
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: I knew how to do this. I'll go get him.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: And I could not, Like I did not have the
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: stamina to step through the There was such deep powder
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: and I was going up and so I called down.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: Kelly was another thirty feet beneath me, and I was like, Kelly,
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: you gotta go get him. I can't. She's like, I'm crabbing.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: I'm crabbing. I'm coming. So and he the whole time,
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: I'm like, stop moving because he's trying to navigate him. Say,
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: he's trying to get himself out of the tree, and
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: I'm like, it's it could be a tree. Well in
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: that situation, just stay where you are, do not move,
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: wait for someone to come. Is that like kind of
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: quicksand Well, if you move around too much, you could
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: get stuck in it. So if you're not stuck in it,
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: just wait. You know, trying to get yourself out of
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: it will help you get stuck in it. You know,
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: that's a possibility. So she had to go up and
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: get him. It took this stuck like forty minutes, and
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: when he came down, he was like, where were you?
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: He said, where were you? You know, like that was
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: bad and where were you? And I was like, fuck,
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: I was right down here. Joe was supervising the entire
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: the entire thing, and he goes, you really need to
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: think about that. I needed you and you weren't there.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: And I was like, honestly, I thought I would be
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: putting both of us in danger if I came up
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: when I knew we had someone. I go, if we
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: didn't have Kelly, I would have come up and done
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: it absolutely, but we had Kelly. And then I thought,
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: maybe I'm pushing him too far, you know, like I
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: don't want him to get hurt or injured, and it's
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: funny to make him ski hard, and he's by the way,
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: he's fucking great. He's going to be a better steer
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: than I am by the end of this season. Anyway,
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: just a little story to tell where I really felt
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: like a piece of ship because I was like, he
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: was right. I should have been right by his side,
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: especially when I'm making him do something. Yeah. Well, and
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: it's nice to know that you guys don't just only
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: have a perfect wonderful relationship, like you have to work
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: through some stuff too. Know. He calls me out on ship.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: You know what's so funny when we went to Canada,
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: because I was so I was like, do not get
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: this omicron Before we left in December, I was like,
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: you cannot get omicron. I have to get into Canada.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: Ski is my happy place. I need this time this
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: year in order. If I don't get into Canada because
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: I test positive for a macron, like, I'm gonna be
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: pissed at you. So he's like, and I'm on him.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: He's on tour, he travels with the crew, so I
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: always like, be careful, be careful. We get to We
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: get to Canada and my friend and she was having
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: us over. She goes, oh my god, I tested positive
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: for covid omicron, like seven days ago. She said. Public
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: health has cleared me. They said it's only seven days.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: It's been seven days since my first symptom. It's seven
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: days now. I shouldn't have it, but I will be
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: testing positive for it. They said I could test positive
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: for it for eight days. I was like, oh funk,
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: I don't care. We're here, let's go, We'll go over
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: to Andrews. I bring my my own COVID test because
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: I have them, and we give her a test and
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: Joe looks at because Jesse, she's positive. And I go
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: and go on the end of your garage, like just
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: stand in the back of your garage, like wear your
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: mask and stand in the back of roach. As the
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: night went on, like different kids were coming down, She's like,
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: you go upstairs. He's shedding. He's positive, he's negative. I was,
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: oh my god, we're like in the hub of the
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: omicron virus. So when we left there, like it took
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: like a week, but Joe goes, I need to talk
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: to you. He goes, You're a fucking hypocrite. He goes,
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: you made such a big deal about me and being
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: safe on the road and on tour, not getting omicron,
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: not going to clubs, not going anywhere without my mask,
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: he goes. And then we arrived in Canada and the
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: first thing you do is dropped me in a den
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: of COVID And I was like, he goes, you have
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: one set of rules for yourself, and then you have
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: one set of rules for everyone else. And I was like,
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: you're fucking right. I just looked at it. I go,
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: everything you're saying is right. I'm a hypocrite and you're right.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: And then he kept going, goes, but you go, Joe,
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: You're right. I am You're everything is right. I'm wrong
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: and I don't have any excuse and I have no defense.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: Let's press forward. Well, Chelsea, this week I got a crazy,
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: crazy email and I really just had to read it
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: to you. So the subject line is I knew I
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: is alive when I heard Chelsea's voice. Dear Chelsea, I
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: have an hour plus commute each way to work, and
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: your podcast has been a staple on my drive. I
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: love your directness, your delivery, and always your humor. Your
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: podcast brings a much needed positive lift to my day
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: to hear about other people's lives and listening to you
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: and your guests advice all the different perspectives I truly appreciate.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: I was listening to your podcast on my way to work.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: I had twenty minutes of my drive left when another
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: vehicle blew their stop sign and hit my car on
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: the front right side. I was on a highway doing
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: fifty five miles per hour and they had come from
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: an intersecting highway also doing fifty. It all happens so fast,
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: neither one of us had time to hit the brakes.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: I remember thinking this is happening, and then if this
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: is how I go out, I'm going to be so piste.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: The air bag went off. I remember going up in
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: the air and the feeling of being pitched up, like
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: sitting in a rocket ready to launch. And then silence.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: And then when I heard your voice, Chelsea, coming from
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: your podcast, still playing through my car speakers, I knew
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: I was alive and still in this world. My next
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: thought was, fuck, yeah, I'm here, and I was so
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: grateful to hear your voice. I sit here today not
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: knowing how I walked away from that experience alive. I
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: have an upcoming surgery this week and recovery ahead of me,
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: but I live another day to say thank you to
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: the inspiring women out there like you, and I'm grateful
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: for the love and support from my family and friends.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: Keep up your great work. Take care, tempy Vermir, Oh God,
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: we're so happy you're alive. Tempy, Tempy, tempy Vermir. We
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: don't usually share a last name on here, but what
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: an excellent name, O, Tempy. Thank God, you're all right.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: I'm so glad that you heard my voice and that
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: was a good thing. Oh lovely. Yeah, yeah, it is.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: Thanks for sharing that and writing that. I love it.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: I love it so yeah, I just wanted to share.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: And by the way, here is the picture she's sent
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: of her car, and she said, ps, I'm attaching a
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: photo of the car I walked away from and the
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: Sealfie on Sunday and made my parents and fiance take
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: with me because I'm alive to do so. For you. Yeah,
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: you never know everybody listening when you're going to be
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: there in a moment where somebody really will never forget
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: or really needs you. So it doesn't matter if you're
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: famous or you're not famous, or you have a big
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: platform or you have a small one. You can always
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: have an impact on somebody's life. And it could even
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: be a stranger's. So don't forget that. Our guest today
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: is a New York Times bestselling author. He wrote a
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: book called Think Like a Monk. He is the host
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: of the number one health and wellness podcast. It's called
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: On Purpose. I think I've been on that, Yes I have.
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: And he's Calms newly appointed Chief Purpose Officer on the combat.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: He is going to have his own meditations coming soon
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: or maybe already out. I don't know any minute. J
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: Hi Ja Shetty, Hey, Chelsea, thank you for having so
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: nice to see It's so nice to see you. It's
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: been too long. Thank you. J J. This is Catherine,
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: our producer. Hi. Nice to meet you. She co hosts
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: this podcast with me. I love it. Yeah. So we
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: saw each other probably two to three years ago, the
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: last time we saw each other, and I came on
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: your podcast. That's right, that's right, which was pretty awesome
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: because we were talking about meditation and presents and therapy
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: and we just met at Wisdom two point Oh oh yeah,
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: that's where we connected. Oh yeah, how would you that's
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: a good idea. Let's start with that. How do you
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: how would you describe that conference? So I was invited
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: to speak at the conference, and you were speaking at
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: the conference too, and Wisdom to point oh. I would
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: define as a conference for introducing people to meditation spiritual practices,
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: and it's like a community of people who are looking
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: or seeking alternative practices for their well being. I think
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: that's my best shot, but maybe yeah, well, I always
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: just describe it as like a bunch of different like
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: you know, neuroscientists, neurophysicists, like you know, just an esteemed
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: group of doctors getting together to talk about what drugs
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: are going to become legalized in the near future. Also
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: because it's a lot about LSD, psilocybin and micro dosing
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: and kind of guided meditation journeys through those things or
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: without those things. So it's so it's a panoply of
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: different kind of areas, but it's all under the same
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: umbrella of betterment, right than well being. And I think
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: the last time I spoke to you, I think you
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: told me that you and your wife have like a
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: three is it a three hour or two hours to
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: our meditation practice each morning? Okay, So can you talk
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: me through that a little bit? Absolutely, So it changes
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: now because of travel and late nights, and so it's
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: not always partying a lot these days. That's definitely no bodies,
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: just just travel and work and whatever else it may be.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: So it's not always in the morning. But the practice
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: consists of three types of meditation that I was trained
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: in as a monk. So you have breathwork, visualization, and mantra.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: So I start with breathwork. I could spend anywhere from
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: ten to fifteen minutes practicing everything from analom, vilom two
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: coupla batti, breathing to make sure that I'm feeling connected
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: and present with my body. Ill then move into visualization.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: This is something I pick and choose. I'll do that
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: if i have something that I'm going to do that
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: I'm nervous about. So I'll give you an example of
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: where I used it recently. I last year decided with
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: my wife that we would do lots of extreme challenges together.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: So we did everything from cold plunges to zip lines
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: to skydiving our first time skydiving together. So the morning
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: before I went skydiving, I visualized myself skydiving and I
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: felt sick in the first seven visualizations, but in the
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: eighth it was gone, and by the time I was
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: actually jumping out a plane, I didn't feel sick at all.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: So I use visualization as a way of going through
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: pet entual pain that I'm about to face so that
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: I can experience it beforehand, or nerves, and then finally mantra.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: Chanting mantras has been a big part of my practice.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: There are some beautiful mantras out there and and there
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: are a few that I focus in on, so it
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: will be broken up into like ten fifteen minutes on breathwork,
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: five minutes on visualization, and about an hour and a
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: half on mantra. And I know that you are just
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: that you just teamed up with Calm too. You're gonna
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: have your own meditation series. I'm so excited about that.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: We just announced and now we have something called the
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: Daily J on Calm. You can meditate with me every
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: single day for seven seven minutes. I was gonna say
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: seven days, seven minutes every day. And what it allows
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: you to do is combine story, breathwork, visualization, all these
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: meditations I'm speaking about and allows you to build your
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: own practice for seven minutes, so you can get it
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: right now. Great, awesome, that's great because everybody on this podcast,
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: or are all of our listeners, are always attempting to
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: learn how to meditate. So tell me somebody, for somebody
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: who's been meditating for how many years now, seventeen years,
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: seventeen years, how has your meda you should how is
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: your practice changed during that time? I think my practice
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: has changed because in the beginning it was very much
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: about presence and stillness, and now it's also turned into
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: uh connection for me, like spiritual connection, and that's where
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: it started, but it's definitely evolved in that direction. So
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: for me, meditation is connected to me feeling aligned with
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: my purpose. It's a place that I remove what I
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: call weeds from my heart. So I'll look at negative
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: intentions or energies, and I'll look at meditation as an
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: opportunity to actually take stock and take order of where
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: I am and use it to purify and cleanse myself.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: So I look at like, where did I feel an
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: emotion this week that I wasn't happy with how I behaved?
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: Or how did I speak to someone this week that
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: actually it doesn't make me feel good about myself? How
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: can I purify myself of that? So, to me, the
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: purification aspect of meditation has become a big priority for
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: me now, more than just the presence and stillness that's
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: in my personal practice. Yeah, I think it's interest when
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: you talk about for anyone really, because like you have
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: certain habits or maybe bad behaviors, you know, quick responses
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: or reactions to things, and then over time, as you
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: practice not reacting so much to those things when you
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: do have a blip and you do react in a
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: way that you're not happy with. It's very much on
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: the surface right away, like there's no denial or defensiveness,
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: which is what got you out of it, you know.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: Years ago for me, i'd be like, you know, I
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: tell three people and they all tell me I was right.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: I'm like, all right, that's good. I did the right thing.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: Now it's like, I don't tell anybody. I know I
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: was wrong and it's right there, and I'm like, that
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: wasn't the nicest way to response to that. And if
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: those things happen close together, I get nervous. I'm like, oh,
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: you're you know, regressing. You better make sure because I
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: look at meditation now, I'm nowhere, you know, near what
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: you're doing. I never trained or studied with monks or
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: anything like that, obviously, because they would have kicked me out.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: But did they did they ask you to leave? It
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: thought you were fully It's not you, it's me kind
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: of situation. It's like a break up. Like it's like
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: I said to them that I think I should leave
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: because I think I got this self awareness that I
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: don't think I'm a monk anymore. And they said to me, Yeah,
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: we think that's a good idea. They said to me,
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: We feel you should leave so that you can share
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: what you've learned. And that's that's how they said it. Yeah,
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: well that's what you're doing trying definitely. Yeah, So I
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: think with regard to making little blips or making little mistakes,
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: it's like you you kind of learned to navigate away
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: from the bigger ones and learned to be more sensible
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: in your reactivity and you know what kind of you know,
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: the way you're communicating with people. But when it does
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: come up, it's definitely an enlightened or more enlightened person
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: is definitely much more hip to go Okay, oh that's
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: not a good thing for me to be doing or saying. Absolutely,
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: and so okay, so what have you been up to
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: professionally in the last couple of years, because you you're everywhere,
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: you know, you're like Deepak Chopper Jr. Sorry if that's sorry,
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: that's not one of your love If you don't look
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: up to deep No, I have so much respect for Deeper.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: I have so much respect for so many people who
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: I think have come before me in this world of
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: trying to serve, trying to share, and so I have.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: I have only good things to say about deep Back.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: For sure. He's he's wonderful in person. Yeah, and I
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: love i Eckartole is my like. I love to listen
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: to that because he seems so far removed from well,
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: real life, you know what I mean. It's almost like,
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: you know, when I think about meditation, I think of like, oh,
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: this is my time to like be respectful to the
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: universe and say I'm here to be still in quiet
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: to make myself good for today, you know, to give
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: myself the calm that I need for today and the
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: focus and the good intentions and all of the things
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: that come with it. And I find his writing and
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: his words to be they're very deep, and a lot
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: of people are not into that, like how deep it goes? Yeah,
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: I feel like, you know, for me, when I started
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: my work, my genuine goal was to help build a
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: pathway for people to go as deep as they wanted
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: to go. I was very fortunate to study the bug
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: with Geta and text that are five thousand years old,
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: and I love talking about them and I love sharing them.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: And in my book Think like a Monk, I'll take
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: out a verse and put it into a chapter, and
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: I've seen people really be able to gravitate and appreciate it.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: But I also find that some people just want to
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: feel better right now. And so with my work over
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: the last two years, and of course we can dive
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: into different parts, but my ultimate goal is to help
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: people bridge that gap from entertainment to education to enlightenment.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: And I think that's the journey that I'd love for
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: entertainment to reach as many people in the world as possible,
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: education to reach those who want to take that step
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: into their own self development and personal growth, and then
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: enlightenment as a journey that people can take if they
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: want that too. And so I think building that bridge
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: is so important because if I look back at how
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: I was as a teen, if you told me about
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: any of that journey, I'd be like, give me the entertainment.
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: I don't want any of the other stuff. And so
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: I feel like I'm trying to go back and connect
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: with my younger self or anyone who reminds me of
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: my younger self where I grew up, saying well, why
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: do I need any of this stuff? And and as
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: time has gone on, I've seen the value of it
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: and when you're doing what you're doing because you're combining
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: two worlds, right, You're dividing deep spirituality with also awareness
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: and you you're on a mission for that. So how
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: do you kind of when your ego is something that
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: is so not necessary and spirituality but it's kind of
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: useful in this business, how do you reconcile the two.
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: So it's really interesting. I spoke to my monk teacher
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: when I decided I was going to move to l A,
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: and the first thing he said to me is, you're
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: moving to the capital of illusion, and you should be very,
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: very cautious. And here I was going, well, why are
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: you not excited for me? Like, I've got so many
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: opportunities coming my way and I'm so looking forward to this.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: And he said, you should just be cautious of Maya.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: Maya is illusion, another word for illusion in Sanskrit. Said
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: you should, you should be careful, you should be cautious.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: And what I've realized is I'm really lucky to have
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: amazing mentors. He's seventy years old, he's been a monk
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: for forty years. I'm so fortunate to have these incredible
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: role models in my life who I've seen display and
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: embody humility and constantly remind me of its value. So
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: as a monk, you're trained that the most admirable quality
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: in anyone is their humility, their groundedness. And so we
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: were like, you know, that was like repeated again and
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: again and again to us every day, and then when
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: you get to see it in someone, I think one
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: of the challenges with ego and humility is that I
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: would like everyone who's listening right now to genuinely think
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: about how many people they've met in their life that
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: they believe genuinely display humility, not just groundedness, so not
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: just being not up themselves, are not arrogant, genuine humility.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: And I think it's hard. I think it's actually very difficult.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: And I would say I've been really fortunate to have
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: spent time with people that I think display it so
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: deeply that they call it out in me all the time.
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: So that's the first thing. The second thing I'd say
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: is that I really enjoy the grapple with my ego,
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: like I really enjoy the wrestling process of it. I
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: think one of the things we were trained in was
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: to relish the battle. That if you don't relish the battle.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: If you don't and start enjoying the fact that you
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: are going to come up against your ego every day,
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: it's gonna wear you out, like it's gonna tie you
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: out and drain you and leave you on the street.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: Because your ego is the toughest boxer in the world.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: Your your ego is Floyd Money Mayweather and your little
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: old you, And so if you don't enjoy that fight
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: and the training, it's going to be really tough. So
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: I've realized that I love putting myself in positions where
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: my ego is actually going to rise, and then being
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: aware and slowly coaching it out of it and guiding
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: and then working with it, rather than being so detached
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: from everything where you could think you've solved your ego
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: but actually you just haven't tested it. There's a beautiful
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: story about Benjamin Franklin who had what I believe were
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: called the thirteen precepts, which were thirteen things that he
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: aspired for simplicity, authenticity, and agrety. Uh And at the
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: end of his life he was asked what was the
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: one that he didn't accomplish, and he said it waste one.
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: And they asked him what's that? And he said humility
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: And I think humility is that constant pursuit and yeah, yeah,
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: if that anyway, I went off on the whole time,
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: like I love listening to you because I like what
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: you said about ego. I like the idea of challenging yourself,
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: having it rise up and seeing how you handle that,
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: because that comes up for me a lot. You know,
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: obviously in in my what I do, it's like, am
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: I doing this for even a paycheck? Is ego? It's
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: related to ego? Even you know, am I what? What
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: are the reasons I'm doing this? And to be practical
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: because obviously I'm in this of this world and I
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: have to you know, participate and make a living. But
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: I I like to check myself and go, Okay, why
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: is your reaction to this this and what is that
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: ego based? And if it is, then remove that. That's
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: not the reason you're going to react. You just you
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: Literally there's an activity that I do where I have
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: lots of different opportunities, whether they be job opportunities or
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: professional opportunities. I'll write them all down and then on
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: top of each one, I'll write down my reason if
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: I said yes or if I said no, and whenever
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: the answer is not love, I know that there's some
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: work to be done, so often I'll write down the
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: word ego like you said, Oh, I would only do
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: that for me, ego, I'd only do that for money.
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: That doesn't mean I don't do it. It just means
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: I'm aware that that is why I said yes to that.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: And let me be really clear on that, so that
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: I'm not lying to myself, because the honesty is what
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: helps me break down my ego, not the dishonesty of
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: feeling like it doesn't exist. And so for me, I'm
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: always trying to see can I write love next to that?
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: Can I write love on top of that? And if
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: I can, then that's beautiful. And if I can't, let's
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: upgrade ego to love. Let's upgrade just money to love.
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: Let's upgrade insecurity to love and keep working on that ladder.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: I know you wrote your own book, right, think like
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: a mark? What are some books do that you read
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: that our go choose for you? Like? Do you have
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: anything that you can constantly referenced? Oh? Yes? So the
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: bug Gueta, which would be considered the timeless epic of India.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: The Spiritual Text of India is probably my go to book.
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: I find that most of what we read today is
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: centered on the Guta in the betterment world and community.
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: You know, there's so many chapters of modern day books
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: that I could find as a core text inside the GUETA.
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: So that's a go to guide for me for sure.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: You know, we just lost Tiko Han, an incredible monk
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: teacher who passed away recently. Like his his work was
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: just absolutely phenomenal. You pick up any book by tickno Hahn,
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: it will it will really speak to your you know,
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: speak to yourself. And then on the other end, I
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: love behavioral economics. I grew up reading behavioral economics books
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: and so like the sound of behavioral economics. Yeah I
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: like that. Yeah, So like I grew up reading Malcolm
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: Gladwell and Dana Riley and all these incredible authors who
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: have just studied human behavior. And so my life has
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: always been how can I find the connection between behavioral
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: economics and spiritual teachings, And so I'm always looking at
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: the intersection of where do they meet? And they meet
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: more often than we think, and we're it's like, okay, well,
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: give us some examples of how they meet. So there's
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: a there's a brilliant book called Predictably Irrational, and it
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: talks about how humans make predictably irrational decisions. One of
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: the best examples in there that Dana Riley provides is
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: that if you want to get a date tonight, go
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: with someone who looks like you, but it's a slightly
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: less good looking version of you. And he goes, that's
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: going to naturally improve your likability and people are more
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: likely to choose you because we don't necessarily choose between
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: A or B. We're choosing between a plus and a minus.
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: So humans make predictably irrational decisions where we elevate someone
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: in our eyes if something's close to it that feels less. Now,
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: that's fine when it comes to dating, but he says
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: that this is how we're completely manipulated by companies who
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: give us three options. They sell something for forty dollars,
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: seventy dollars, and a hundred dollars. But the hundred dollars,
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: it's just got a bit more than that seventy dollars.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: So you let go of the forty dollars and you
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: go and spend that hundred. Now, when you look at
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: that as a technique. When you look back at the
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: spiritual text, they talk about how our senses are limited,
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: and how because our senses are limited, we often make
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: poor judgment if we only see through our senses. And
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: therefore there's this beautiful term in Sanskrit called shastra chuck shu,
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: which means to see through the eyes of spiritual text,
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: to see through the eyes of beyond our material vision.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: So there's something like that. Another one that I love
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: is the idea around purpose. So a long long time ago,
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: like we would have just said, oh yeah, purpose is
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: a fluffy term and maybe it's not real and maybe
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: it doesn't exist. All studies show today that when you
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: live with purpose, you're happier. There's an amazing study by
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: Yale and Amy Raznewski, and they did a study in
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: what they believed was the most difficult job in the world. Now,
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: the most difficult job in the world is not what
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: any of us do. It happened to be hospital cleaners,
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: and I think we can all agree with that. And
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: that was before the pandemic, so I can only imagine
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: how tough it is today. So they went an interviewed
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: hospital cleaners and they asked them what do they do,
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: and they were like, we clean beds, we clean toilets,
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: we clean dishes, were clean up after people die. Like
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: it's a really tough job. And so they then went
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: and interviewed some other hospital cleaners. These cleaners describe themselves
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: as healers, and they were like, why are you healers?
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: They worked in the same hospitals, they did the same job.
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: They said, because we see cleaning an environment as completely
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: directly related to a patient's healing journey. We think that
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: if we have a clean room, people's families will have
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: deeper time there, they will spend more time there that
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: were able to feel love and energy and positivity. They
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: were happier in the same jobs, in the same most
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: difficult job in the world. This is what text have
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: been telling us always. Wayne Dyer said it when we
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: change the way we look at things, the things we
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: look at change. That is a spiritual truth, but we
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: can see it through behavioral science. Now, Oh wow, I
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: love that. Yeah, that's so true. I mean, once you
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: change your lens, you know, you it's like being attracted
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: to someone, It's like falling in love with your friend,
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: which was what happened to be all of a sudden.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: You know, he was my friend for years and years
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: and years, and I never looked at him that way.
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: And then after therapy and after getting like I kind
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: of knew way to look at everything, and I was like, oh,
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: this is my guy. He's been standing here this entire time.
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: But I just my lenses were dirty. That's amazing. That's
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: filled with Canada. Yeah, it's a spiritual lens. That's a
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: great example. I want to ask you a personal question
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: about your relationship because you've been married for how many
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: years now? We've been together for eight and married for
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: six this year? Okay, and so does I would one
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: would assume that all of this living with monks and
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: all of your spiritual practice up until now would prepare
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: someone pretty well to be in a married relationship. Is that?
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: Is that a fact? I would say that it does
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: if you apply it at the essence and the core.
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: But if you apply immaturely then knows. But yeah, I
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: would agree with you. I would agree with you so
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: that if any when things come up and or if
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: there's any sort of discourse or that's unpleasant like that,
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: you're able to you and your wife because she practices
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: as well, that you're able to handle it with a
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: little bit more plum than a regular couple. Yes. So
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: I when I wrote Think like a Monk, I dedicated
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: to my wife, and the dedication reads to my wife,
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: who's more monk than I'll ever be. And I really
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: meant that. I wrote that because I wanted people to
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: realize that she never trained as a monk. She does
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: meditate every day, and she does have the similar practices
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: to me, but you know, she just naturally has some
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: of that in her life. But at the same time,
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: she will be the first to tell you she gets
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: so angry when I'm really calm, when we've just had
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: a fight or she's saying something and I'm like, really still,
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, this is how we're gonna deal with them.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: This we're gonna and she's like, she gets even more angry.
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: So yeah, No, I I think that myself awareness that
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: I gained during my time as a monk allowed me
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: not only in the way you said it, you said
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: this beautifully just now that since I left being among
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: my wife's the only person that I've've been with and
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: and you know, dated and now of course married to,
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: and I felt that my self awareness of my values,
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: what I believed in grew so clear that I could
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: clearly see that we were going to work on this.
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: Now that doesn't mean it's been easy ever since, but
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: I definitely feel that I have the tools. One of
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: my favorite tools is called the austerity of speech. So
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: this is a an old Vedic concept of the austerity
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: of speech. So it says that you should speak words
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: that are truthful, words that are beneficial, words that don't
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: agitate the minds of others, and words that are aligned
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: with spiritual knowledge. So that the fourth one is hard,
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: but the first three truthful, beneficial to all, and don't
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: agitate the minds of others. Now that third one is
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: really tough for me, especially you're annoying me. It's I'm
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: feeling very irritated, exactly, But that's exactly, and it's how
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: do you learn to shape your language? So those are
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: called the four asterities of speech. I call them the
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: four gates before I say something. How can you walk
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: through those gates? How can you actually take a journey
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: and fill to what you're about to say, Not because
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: you're trying to be politically correct or trying to do
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: a technique you're doing it because you actually believe that
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: what comes out of your mouth is now going to
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: have more power. When you say to someone you're just
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: annoying me, in one sense, you distance yourself from that person,
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: whereas when you actually have a healthy conversation, you actually
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: can become closer through that conflict. And so I think
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: some of them. I mean, there's plenty more examples I
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: can give, but those are the first two that came
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: to mind. Well, you're gonna have an opportunity to do
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: that because we're taking callers. Sometimes we get we get
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: submissions that could be email or they could be on
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: the phone on a zoom. You'll get to see them
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: and they're calling just asking for typical life advice. Amazing,
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: and it's pretty cute idea, especially from someone like me,
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: you know, who has no business giving advice, is totally
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: willing to do it. Yeah, well, let's take a quick
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: break and we'll be back with some colors and emails.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: And we are back from break with j CHTT today. Hi,
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: we're ready to Oh yeah already. Well it's about to
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: get maybe a little bit harder because there's some serious
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: questions today. So our first email comes from Caitlin. She says,
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea, I've been in a funk since becoming a mom.
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: It doesn't seem to be postpartum depression or anxiety. I
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: didn't really know what to call it until recently when
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: I saw one of the Britney Spears documentaries. And although
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: our situations are quite different, I can relate to the
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: feelings of being confined, trapped, surveiled and controlled. That's totally it.
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: I've lost my autonomy now that I'm a mother. I
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: can't walk freely from one room to the other without
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: announcing my departure and announcing my return. I can't go
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: to the bathroom without someone watching me. I essentially need
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: someone else's permission to take a shower because I can't
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: just leave my kid unattended. I really like being a mom,
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: but this is the hardest part for me to adjust to.
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: Since the situation itself is not going to change, I
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: think the only solution is to change my own mindset
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: and reframe the way I think about my new reality.
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: Do you have any advice for me, Caitlin, Yeah, I
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: think so. Well, what what do you think of that
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: you go? First? First of all, I want to say Caitlin,
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: thank you for being so honest. I mean, that's really difficult.
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: I know, you know, I know a lot of moms.
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: I work with a lot of moms. I'm you know,
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: obviously I'm not a mother and and can't be one,
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: and so I can't say I understand how you feel.
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: But thank you for being so honest. I think it's
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: really hard to say what you just said, so I
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: really want to acknowledge that. The second thing I'd say
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: is that you already have the answer that you want.
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: The way you ended that question was the answer. Now
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: the idea is how do you reframe? What do you reframe?
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: So I'm just simply going to give you some suggestions
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: according to what you think is the right way of
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: doing it. Uh. The first thing I'd say around reframing
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: your mindset is part of having children, as far as
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: I know, is the ability to extend our love, compassion,
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: and opportunity to practice. And kids are teaching us something difficult. Now.
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: I know this because I've been thinking about having kids
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: for a long time, but I've been putting it off
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: for pretty much a similar reason to what you've just said,
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: because I recognized that I am going to lose my
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: independence and I am going to lose my lose my autonomy. Now,
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: I know it's very different for a woman. There's even
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: more pressure. When I look at the studies, they suggest
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: that women are taking on even more of those responsibilities.
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: So when I think about that, I go, how can
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: you use this as a experiment in increasing your love,
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: increasing your compassion, increasing your joy and being shared with
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: someone else. We've been so used to experiencing our autonomy
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: and getting joy from that, which is a beautiful model, which,
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: by the way, I completely understand. But how do we
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: now switch our joy from being from autonomy to being
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: this relationship with this individual? And I know that when
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: you allow yourself to go there, as you said, you
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: already enjoy being a mom. And I don't think autonomy
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: is just going to come back around, as you said,
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: so to me, using it as an experiment in increasing
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: your compassion, increasing your empathy, increasing your love is a
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: beautiful way. And the second thing I'd say is definitely
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: still find time, even if it is trading places to
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: create that autonomous time. I think it may be less now,
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: but if you can find that one evening a week,
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: or maybe it's one day a month where you can
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: carve out that time to be completely free and allow
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: yourself to really explore that. Yeah, that's all great. Yeah
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: I would say that too. I mean, it sounded like
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: you already have the answer there yourself. You're just going
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: through a little about of growing pains acclimating to the
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: life of being a new mom, which so I mean,
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: I just had this conversation with a girlfriend yesterday and Colleen,
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: who was on our podcast recently, was talking about when
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: you have a child, you become a slave to that
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: child for the next five to six years. But what
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: Jay said is absolutely right. You just you have to
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: own that, you know what I mean, instead of letting
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: it happen to you, you know, make it happen, make
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: it what you want it to be, make it the
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: relationship you want it to be, and carve out that
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: time for you whatever you can afford to carve out,
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: if you can afford to have a babysitter one night
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: a month, even if you could go on play dates
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: with other people who have the same age children, so
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: it's taking some of the pressure off. So there's a
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: group of people around because that way you can also
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: commiserate with other people and that's a good feeling to
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: a remind yourself that you're not the only one and
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: that you're not alone. But to rise above this moment
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: and to move forward after this moment is a huge
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: opportunity for growth and a huge opportunity for you to
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: become the mother that you always wanted to be. So
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: you have a vision and a visual in your head
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: of the kind of parent you want to be, Like,
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: this is the time to start getting ready to become
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: that parent, you know, and saying goodbye to your old
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: self because that's that's not who you are anymore. Now
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: you are a mother. You're still that person, but now
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: you have a child. So that's not like the end
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: of the world. It's the beginning of something really, really beautiful.
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: And it's just about embracing the moment that you're in
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: and being there and being present in every moment with
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: your child that that you're that you can allow yourself
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: to be present, because that's going to give you so
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: much in return, instead of focusing on all the time
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: you've lost for yourself, focusing on all of the things
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: that you have now with another person. And what you
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: said is you're already there, So you just needed us
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: to nail that nail that hammer and or nail, I
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: guess nail that nail. And I'm really not good with
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: tools or any started sort of home improvements. And another
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: thing you can do if your family can't afford to
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: have a babysitter every weekend or as often as you
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: might need to sort of have some alone time, you know,
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: what you can do is find someone else, maybe they
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: have a child a similar age to yours, but find
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: somebody else who maybe it's some other mom or another
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: couple who also needs a date night, also needs some
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: time away, and just say like, hey, let's make a plan.
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: Maybe it's every week, maybe it's once a month or whatever,
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: but make a plan to say, hey, you guys need
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: date night, and so do we You take the kids
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: on Friday, we'll go out. We'll take the kids on
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: Saturdays and we'll go out, or just I'll go out.
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: And I think it goes back to what Jay said
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: to about like the hardest job in the world or
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: one of the hardest jobs in the world as motherhood,
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: and having that reframing. Yeah, it's like they don't give
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: you a psychological like warning. They just yeah, well know,
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: a warning, like, this is how you're gonna feel, and
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: you're gonna have to adjust because I've always said it's
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: like nine months is not long enough to prepare for
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: a baby. No time is long enough to prepare because
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: one day you can leave your house and then the
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: next day you can never leave your house again until
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: you have to make sure somebody has your baby. So yes,
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: it's an adjustment, for sure. And some people make it
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: seem effortless and others it's not as effortless for so yeah,
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: and in about like third teen years, they won't want
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: to be with you at all. Remember that, you know,
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: there's a time limit. Yeah, It's funny how that happens, right,
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: Like parents are always like, oh my god, this is
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: all encompassing. It's time consuming, and then when they're teenagers
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: are like, what the what the funk happened to my baby?
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: So it's like you better remember. By the time you're
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: hip to whatever happened, it's over. You know. It's like
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: once you realize that you're lucky to be young, and
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: you know, like, you know when you're young and people
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: are like, oh, well when you get older, you'll know.
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm never getting older and don't worry about it.
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: They're like, you're not gonna be able to do what
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: you do or act like you act when you're older.
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: You won't be able to drink like you did when
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: you were in your twenties. I was like, of course
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: I will. I can't, you know, like and then I'm like, God,
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: why did I believe that when it was happening. Why
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: didn't I take advantage? You know, all of that stuff.
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: So everything that everyone says is true. Problem solved. Let's
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: leave it at that. Yes, Well, our next question comes
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: from Anthony and he's on the phone with us. Dear Chelsea,
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: I'm a twenty eight year old living in Los Angeles.
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: I'm a bar to under in hopes of making it
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: in the entertainment industry. I've experienced seasonal depression for a
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: few years now, and until recently, I was at such
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: a high. Every day felt good, and I thought I
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: was on the right path. I started therapy, meditation, journaling,
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: and even your podcast was a medicine for me. Around
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: November is when I started feeling those moods come around,
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: and it just got worse and worse. But now we're
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: a few weeks into the new year and I met
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: this standstill, and I don't know where to go. I'm
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: sure I'm going to get back into my happy days,
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: but then I'm concerned they'll fade once again. I guess
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: my question is how can I get happy and stay happy? Anthony?
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: Hi Anthony, Hey Anthony, nice to meet you. Nice to
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: meet you, guys. Hi. This is Jay and Catherine is here,
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: who you've spoken to already. Hi? J Hi Catherine, Nice
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: to see you again. H Hi. How are you? I'm
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: doing good? How about yourself? We're good? Thank you. We're
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: just talking about the merits of parents NG and and
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: then the downside of which is a long, lengthy list.
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: Anyway over to you though, So did you say you're
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: in therapy? I was last year. I stopped right around October. Okay.
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: And do you take medication of any sort? I don't.
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: I've never I've never done that. It's something that I'm
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: not opposed to either. I just have not gotten the
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: chance to get in that conversation with anyone. Okay, So
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: what you're feeling like you feel like you can go
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: like what what duration of time is it typically? Do
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: you seem to have like a mood? Last four is
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: it weeks or months or seasons, like the good moods
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: or the bad mood either. So I guess recently my
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: good moods were for like like three months, but then
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: it's just it's been now been three months where they're
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: more down moods, So they're really all over the place. Okay,
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: and what and so you do meditate? Are you physically
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: active and all of the things that help you kind
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: of stay up. Yeah, when I was up, what I
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: noticed the most was that I was meditating, I was hikinging,
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: I was listening to podcasts such as Yours, I was
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: going to therapy, And slowly I stopped doing those as much.
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: It wasn't like a daily thing anymore. And so yeah,
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: I was doing that, but they slowly stopped. Yeah, I
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: would say right off the bat, you're allowing the way
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: you feel to dictate your mood rather than allowing your
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: activities and your practices to dictate your mood. You know,
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: like when we're feeling down or we're feeling low, that's
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: when we really need to lean on our tool kit
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: the most, because feeling good is great, but you don't
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: need a lot of help there, right, So it's important
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: on the days where you don't feel like exercising, where
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: you don't feel like meditating, to get those in so
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: that the feeling remains consistent, you know what I mean,
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: So that shouldn't feel so black and white with your
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: ups and your downs. And maybe there is a there
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: is a you know, diagnosis of some sort that you
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: might need to seek out from a professional. You know,
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: maybe you are slightly depressed, and maybe it is a
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: good mood disorder. But I would say, you know three
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: like nothing is I'll let Jay speak to this, but
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: nothing lasts forever. You cannot expect to be in a
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: great mood every single day when you wake up, and
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: you also can't feel like when you aren't in a
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: great mood that that is going to be the way
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: it's going to be for the next three weeks or
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: three months, because you're resigning yourself and you're almost capitulating
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: to something that doesn't exist yet. You know, you're in
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: charge of your happiness, you're in charge of your moods,
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: and as long as you're doing everything you can to
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: keep like all the things that you know that work,
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: which are meditation, exercise, listening to podcasts that make you
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: feel good or make you think and kind of filling
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: yourself up with that, you will have more control over
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: those moods. And if at that point you still are
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: feeling a little bit off and it's if it's more
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: of a medical thing, then yeah, absolutely, I'm sure there's
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: a medical professional or a therapist or a psychist psychiatrist
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: that will be able to kind of experiment with prescribing
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: you something, but it probably it may not even come
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: to that. Do you want to speak a little bit
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: about impermanence? And definitely, I think Anthony and I agree
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: with everything that Chelsea just shared right now. I think
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: it's great advice. I think one of the biggest things
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: you just explained yourself, Anthony was that when your habits stopped,
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: your happiness started to go down. And what I always
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: say to people is like, just because you ate a
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: great meal today doesn't mean you don't eat for the
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: next three days. Right. Let's say I ate a lot
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: of food today, I wouldn't stop eating for the next
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: week and hope that I stay full. And sometimes with
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: our mood and our happiness, we do that we feel
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: really good today and we're like, Okay, I did a
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: lot of meditation today, I did a lot of sleep
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: this month. I don't need it for the next seven
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: days or the next seven months. So I would definitely
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: work on those habits. At the same time, I think
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: we have created a mindset in society that we should
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: always feel happy, and that happiness is a sign that
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: we should do things. I would actually say that the
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: biggest skill we can work on is developing the ability
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: to do things when we don't feel like doing them.
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: So it's else you were saying when I go to
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: work out and I and I, by the way, experienced
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: this today. I've had four hours sleep the last three
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: nights because I've been traveling, moving, things have been happening,
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: and I managed to go to the gym, and I
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: know for a fact that I feel better because I went.
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: And so what I've realized is good habits they feel
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: bad before you do them, but they feel amazing afterwards.
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: And bad habits they feel great before you do them,
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: and they feel terrible afterwards. And so it's tricking our
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: mind to recognize, Well, wait a minute, when I'm actually
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: going I don't want to meditate today, I don't want
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: to exactly what Chelsea said, that's exactly the time I
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: want to dial in and the impermanence part. This is
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: where I want you to switch your north star. So
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: in your question, happiness and happy days were very clear
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: as your north star. That was your focus. I want
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: you to change your focus point to meaning and purpose
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: and I'll explain why. When when I trained as a monk,
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: we learned that looking for happiness makes life very difficult
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: because there are so many things that happen your daily
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: life where you won't be able to find happiness. But
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: meaning and purpose is something you can always find. What
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: I mean by that is when you ask yourself, what
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: can I learn from this? What did this teach me?
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: Why do I think this came into my life? When
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: you start asking yourself those questions, you actually build your resilience,
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: you build your muscle, and now you can deal with
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: the challenges that come in the future. Whereas when you
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: go why am I not happy? That creates this real
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: gap of expectation and now you're chasing this illusiory thing
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: or impermanent thing that doesn't stay with you. So, for example,
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: I lost my I lost one of my greatest spiritual
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: mentors in my life to stage four brain cancer. I
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: couldn't go to his funeral in London because obviously all
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: the flights were shut down and that was at the
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: peak of the pandemic. I couldn't get back and losing him.
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: There was no happiness in that moment whatsoever, Like genuinely
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: there was no happiness, but there was meaning. There was meaning.
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: I started to think about, like, what's the meaning of this.
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: I can't be with him, and I thought, wait a minute,
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: I can try and live what he taught me, and
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: that way he would live with me every day. I
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: can try to become everything he wanted me to be,
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: and so I could always extract meaning in even really
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: painful situations when happiness is something that you can't always extract.
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: So even when things are good, don't look for happiness,
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: look for meaning, because if you can extract meaning from
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: good things, you'll be able to extract them from bad things.
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: That makes so much sense, Yeah, I hear that, Je.
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: What would be or advice for somebody who is in
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: a depression where they're just like so in a funk,
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: They're like I can't even get out of bed today, Like,
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: what is that first step that you would have them
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: take in order to get to the point where they
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: can meditate or go to the gym or yes. So
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: in that situation, I would say what else he was
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: saying earlier, I would go and do a medical examination,
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: see a professional. The reason why I'm saying that is
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: if you're saying that you can't even get out of bed,
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: that's a reason to go and see someone Like I
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: don't think that's something you sit and solve on your own.
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: Just as if I couldn't get out of my bed
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: in the morning because my legs hurt, I wouldn't try
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: and figure that out on Google. I would pick up
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: the phone and call my doctor and say, my legs
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: are not working today and I work up. If you're
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: waking up in the morning and you go I just
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: can't get out of bed, I would go and see someone.
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: I'll give an example of even something very small. A
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: lot of it's biological as well. Like recently, I was
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: talking to my health coach and she had me do
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: my you know, my nutrients test and my vitals in
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: my medical exam, and she told me that my vitamin
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: D level was at a ten. She was saying that
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: the average is sixty and the ideal as a hundred,
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: and she said to me, She goes, Jay, I don't
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: even know how you get out of bed in the morning,
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: let alone live your life. Now, I don't feel that emotionally,
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: but I started working on improving my vitamin D. I
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: promise you I have never felt more energy in my life.
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: And it can be biological. Sometimes we get so heady
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: about we think it's all in our head and like
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: it's all mental. It's not. Sometimes it's truly biological. You're
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: you know, and we have to go and get those
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: tests done. So yeah, that's a great point too. Yeah.
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: I had the same thing with an iron deficiency, Like
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: I was so sluggish I was, So it could be
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: something as simple as that, you know. So that's another
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: reason to explore that, Anthony, do you feel like there
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: is a chance you suffer from some depression? Do you
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: feel that way? Yeah, definitely. Throughout my high school life,
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: I definitely started feeling depression, and I think it's gone
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: into my adulthood. So I've definitely done the practices like therapy, meditation,
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: but I'm at a point now that I'm like, maybe
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: I do need to see a professional to get some
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: type of advice or maybe medication, because that's something that's
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: a route I have not gone down yet. It's just
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: tiring to do all the work and get to the
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: good part and then come to a standstill once again
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: after putting all the work and being like, wow, what
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: was all that for? If if I'm back to this
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: low point. Yeah, but doing all the work doesn't guarantee
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: that you're not going to have low points. I do
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: understand life is not all about being happy. There's always
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: going to be low points. But what I mean is
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: that it's such a big difference, like i'be at such
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: a high point and then like a month later, I'm
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: at such a low point too, and it's such a
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: differ lifestyle for me then that I'm not doing anything
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: towards my future, towards what makes me happy. So yeah,
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: Anthony had also add that, you know, I really want
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: you to take a moment today to just own that
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: you have felt really good and you have done the work.
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: Like I want you to take a moment today and
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: sit back. When you said to me, I meditate, I
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: go to therapy. You know, when you were listening on
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: your question, I was saying, Wow, this this person is amazing,
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: Like the fact that you've made time the fact that
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: you have prioritized the fact that you've actually done that
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: and you felt great for it. I wanted to take
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: a time out today to just celebrate that, be grateful
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: to yourself, and acknowledge yourself for having done the work,
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: because it sounds like when you were doing the work
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: and you were owning it, you were feeling great. And
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: I just want you to remember that, because sometimes we
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: forget that, actually there was a time when I was
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: doing the work and I was feeling great. Let me
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: go back to doing the work. So I want you
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: to take our time today to celebrate that, to be grateful,
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: to honor it. And by the way, Anthony, we've all
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: been on such a roller coaster for the last two
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: years that the way you're feeling should not be seen
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: as unnatural or strange, like we don't even know how
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: we've all been effective in the last two years. So
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: the fact that in that time you were able to
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: practice meditation, to go to therapy, to take advice, hats
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: off to you. I'm impressed by you, honestly, I genuinely am,
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: and I want you to feel impressed by yourself, and
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: I want you to own that. I will thank you
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: very much. Definitely do that, okay, Anthony, Well, I hope
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: you feel better soon and keep us posted. Okay, let
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: us know if you discover something new, first get that
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: blood work done before probably even you go to like
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: a psychiatrist to see if you have some sort of deficiency.
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: Check all the boxes so you have all the information
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: that you can get and that's and then that becomes
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: another tool. I definitely would do that. And I wanted
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: to say thank you so much to you because your
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: podcast inspired me to do my own podcast with my
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: best friend. It you plug about mental health and therapy
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: and all that stuff. So I appreciate your podcast a lot. Great.
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: What's your casts called? It's called How's Your Heart? I
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: like that cos well, thanks Anthony, and uh yeah, keep
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: us posted on on how things go. Thank you so
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: much for your time. Yeah you too. Okay. I hate
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: that desultry feeling where you're like you could tell by
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: the look in someone's eyes. You know, it's just like
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: you're exhausted and you have your listless and that feeling
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: is no fun at all. Definitely not no. Yeah, I
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: like that book. I talked about this book before letting go.
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: Do you have you read that, David Hawkings. I love
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: that when you're when you're down, how to pull yourself up,
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: like when you're down if you're an ego or shame
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: or depression, and how to bring yourself up through courage
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: to get to like the higher levels and vibrations. Um.
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: That always reminds me that, like you know, you always
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: have to we're in charge of clearing out our cobwebs
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: and bringing ourselves back up to a place of action
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: rather than reaction. Yes. Yeah. Our next question comes from
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: Sydney Dear Chelsea. I'm forties six years old, single mom
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: to a sassy fifteen year old girl, and have for
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: the most part, had a great life. I didn't have
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: much luck with love in my twenties or thirties, a
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: bad marriage, occasional boyfriends and casual relationships, but that never
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: kept me down. I have the best girlfriends who have
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: filled my life with laughter, love and crazy girl's trips.
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: In my early forties, I finally found love. I met
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: an amazing man and we had a little over three
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: great years together until he was devastatingly diagnosed with stage
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: four cancer. He passed away eight months later in June
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: of last year. I'm working through my grief and the
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: trauma of his illness and death with the supportive therapy,
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: friends and family. But I'm honestly just so sad and lost.
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: I'm generally a positive and strong person, but now I'm
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: left feeling like, now what given. I've spent most of
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: my adult life single. It's not like I can't be alone,
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: but after experiencing deep and easy love, I'm craving that
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: feeling and hoping it's possible again. I just don't know
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: where to start, and wonder if I'm too broken to
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: even consider another relationship. Any advice you can provide or
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: just make me laugh? Sydney, Hi, Sydney, Hi, Sydney. Hello,
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: nice to meet you. Hi. This is j Shett. He's
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: our guest today. Nice. I'm so sorry about your loss.
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: Oh God. So the good news is that you were
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: able to have this relationship right in your forties, in
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: your early forties, where a lot of women think that
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: it's a rap and they're never going to meet anybody.
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: So it was shown and demonstrated to you that that
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: is possible, that that was alive and well, and you
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: had a beautiful love affair that ended tragically, but you
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: had a beautiful love affair, and that's your hope. You know,
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: that is your hope right there, that's all the hope
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: you need. It happens to you once, it can happen
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: to you again, and you might not be I don't
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: know what what state of mind are you in right now?
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: Like you know, I don't know if you're ready to
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: day you tell us how are you feeling these days?
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: I'm just feeling like I need to be distracted, which
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: is crazy. I'm I'm in full Greek right now, right
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: and I'm sad, and so I'm being distracted by friends
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: and you know, the automent here and there, although lockdown
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: is not a good time, but so it's like part
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: of me looks too like I want that again. I
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: want that again. I know now is not the time,
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: but I also just want to be able to hope
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: for it. That makes sense, Yeah, I think absolutely, And
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: I think hope is sometimes better than the reality, you
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: know what I mean. The idea and the fantasy is
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: sometimes a better elixer than than the actuality. So like
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: it is a great opportunity for you to hold onto
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: everything that you had with this wonderful man that came
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: into your life, and thank God you were in his
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: life so that he had someone to leave this life
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: with right knowing that he was loved and knowing that
• 55:07
  Speaker 1: he loved you. So these are all beautiful, beautiful things. Obviously,
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: it's not an ideal situation, but what you can take
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: out of it can bring it back into your life again.
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: I think, and now it's probably not the right time
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: to be going on dates and doing all of that
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: if you're grieving and you're dealing with this heavy loss
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: and there is a respectful amount of time that you
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: want to spend mourning somebody. So I think the idea
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: that you're even talking about moving forward is so healthy,
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: the idea that you're even talking about possibly meeting somebody,
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: you know, there are so many people are like, it's
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: never gonna happen. That's it. I got my last thing, Like, no,
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: there's no reason not to be greedy and and say
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: I get more. You know, I deserve more. I deserve
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: another love, you know, a different love or something just
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: as powerful. Who knows. But I think holding onto hope
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: is a great survival tool, and it's a way to
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: help us all through grief and honoring all of the
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: wonderful things that he brought into your life, and honoring
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: all the beautiful love that you had and having that
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: just be sacro sanc to you know, in your in
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: your mind and really paying respect to that. And you're
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: gonna know when it's time to put yourself on a
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: dating site or to agree to be set up with somebody,
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: You're gonna know that. But there's nothing wrong with going
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: through the emotions of grieving. That is the way to
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: get healthy again. Thank you for that, agreed. Right, Like,
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: I've thought about dating safe, but I know it's for
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: unhealthy reasons, right, It's just that I want something else
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: to distract me. So the fact that I'm not doing
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: and goes to show and I'm not ready. M hmmm. Yeah.
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: And where do you live in in Canada? What part trual? Oh? Oh, well,
• 56:44
  Speaker 1: I can make give you a night of laughter. You
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: can come to one of my shows in Toronto at
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: the end of March. We're gonna hook you up with
• 56:49
  Speaker 1: free tickets. Okay, alright, alright, yeah, yeah, absolutely, that'll be
• 56:55
  Speaker 1: a great night. You can bring a girlfriend or bring
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: a couple of girlfriends, whatever you want. We'll sort it
• 56:59
  Speaker 1: out for you. You but I'm performing there at some
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: point in March, so we will hook that up. Awesome, Jay,
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: what did you want to add? I I just again,
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: I agree with everything Chelsea said and Sydney, you know,
• 57:10
  Speaker 1: I think the biggest thing I want you to remember
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: is don't feel guilty for wanting to be distracted, or
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: don't feel guilty for just trying to stay busy, because
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: I think that is part of your grieving process, and
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: so allowing yourself to just be like, I have just
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: gone through something that is really painful. It's you know,
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: it's really tough, but I'm going to allow myself to
• 57:32
  Speaker 1: to feel that distraction. I'm gonna allow myself to feel that.
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: I think putting the pressure on yourself to be like, oh, well,
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: you know, I want to get back to life as usual.
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: That kind of trying to run away from a situation
• 57:41
  Speaker 1: almost makes you run towards it even quicker, and so
• 57:44
  Speaker 1: I think giving yourself that space and grace. I literally
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: just I mean, I had no idea. I literally just
• 57:48
  Speaker 1: spoke to our previous guests and I was saying that
• 57:52
  Speaker 1: not comparing at all, because it wasn't a love affair,
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: but I I lost my spiritual mentor who have known
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: since twelve. It was like a father figure. He spoke
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: of my wedding, and he died of stage four brain
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: cancer in and I couldn't see him, and I couldn't
• 58:05
  Speaker 1: be with him in those last few months because of
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: the pandemic, so I couldn't get back. And when I
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: was in that situation, for me, it was just like, well,
• 58:14
  Speaker 1: what did he give me that he would be really
• 58:16
  Speaker 1: proud that I carried on living on? Like what were
• 58:18
  Speaker 1: the gifts that he gave me? Whether his love, whether
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: his mentorship, where his guidance, whether it was you know,
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: being confident with me always. I want to go and
• 58:26
  Speaker 1: give that to others. And I really found that that's
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: really helped me when I'm grieving, is giving to others
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: what what that person gave me. When I can go
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: and pass on and share those gifts, that gives you
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: such a sense of that person is present with you
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: in the right way and that you're actually continuing to
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: serve that relationship. I love that. That's a great idea
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: because he gave me so many gifts and the gift
• 58:50
  Speaker 1: of hope that I even have to do thank you.
• 58:54
  Speaker 1: You're gonna be just fine. It's gonna be okay. I
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: hope so, I hope so well, you know what, Chelseae,
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: this show is distracting me a lot. That's a good distraction. Yeah,
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: you're like my girlfriend on the weekend that I listen
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: to as you know, do my housework and stuff. So
• 59:11
  Speaker 1: thanks so much for that. Absolutely my pleasure. Yeah, okay,
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: take care of Thanks Sydney by everyone. Bye. Wow, that's
• 59:21
  Speaker 1: a lot. Our last question comes from Julia. Dear Chelsea,
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: absolutely love the podcast and how real you are when
• 59:30
  Speaker 1: giving advice. I would love your insight when it comes
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: to developing boundaries with an addict. My dad is an
• 59:35
  Speaker 1: alcoholic has been my entire life. Over the years, our
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: relationship has become strange due to his addiction and his
• 59:41
  Speaker 1: behavior well drunk. But I just had my first child,
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: and although I don't have much contact with him by choice,
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: I feel an odd sense of guilt not letting him
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: around my child. I know it's for the best, but
• 59:53
  Speaker 1: I can't shake the feeling that I need to give
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: him an opportunity to have a relationship with his grandchild.
• 59:58
  Speaker 1: Should I leave things as they are or give him
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 1: an opportunity to form a relationship. Obviously, with boundaries. Thanks Julia. Yeah,
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 1: you just have to create boundaries so that he's only
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 1: around your father when he's sober, or your daughter or
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: son is around your father when they're sober. But if
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: you have that feeling, then that's your strongest indicator that
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: you should move forward with it. You know, if your
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 1: relationship has become streamed, that's totally understandable with somebody with addiction,
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 1: but it's also it's not your son or daughter's fault.
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 1: And you can give him a little bit of room
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 1: and see how he responds to that. It might actually
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: help his drinking. You never know, you know, he might
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 1: be inspired and want to be a bigger presence in
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 1: your child's life, and it might have that impact. I mean,
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 1: don't go in there with that hopefulness, but go in
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 1: there just you know, with your eyes wide open, and
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: I think you'll get your answer sooner than later of
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 1: whether or not it was a good decision or maybe
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 1: you know you need to pull it back some more.
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 1: But I think it will probably turn out for the best.
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 1: I don't think there's anything negative that can happen when
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: you're you know, wanting to just spread love and family
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: with your family within your family, and we all have
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 1: those kind of familial obligations. You don't want to use
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: the word duty, but a lot of times family is duty.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 1: It's like you owe it to your child, and you
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: owe it to your father and then just see what happens.
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 1: I would say, what do you think? No, I can't
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 1: agree more. I think the thing with barriers is that
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 1: you want to make sure that they're really clear for
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: you and for others. And so if you are going
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 1: to set barries, which it sounds like as chure saying
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 1: that you need to, and it sounds like you must
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 1: create barriers that are really clear for you, really outline them,
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 1: be so aware and so sure about when yes, when no,
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: because that allows you to free yourself of the anxiety
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 1: and stress. Because I know that those moments can be
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 1: so like full of just nerves and stress and pressure
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: that the only way you let go of there and said, well,
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: I've just set really clear guidelines for myself to follow.
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 1: So there's something in psychological if then so like, if
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 1: this happens, then this is what we're gonna do. If
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: this happens, then this is what we're going to do.
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 1: And I think creating a what if or if then
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 1: plan is really important in your scenario because it sounds
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 1: like there may be multiple different versions of how this
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: could play out, and I would just take a bit
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 1: of time up front to set those barriers so that
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 1: there's not too many surprises. And if something beautiful happens,
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 1: like well Chelsea recommended, then you're actually just grateful for
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 1: it and see it as a bonus. But you set
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: yourself up to make sure that you're not stressing yourself
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: out in those close connected family connections. Yeah, that's an
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: easy one to find out, you know soon enough, whether
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: it's a good decision or not. Yeah. Absolutely, Well, let's
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 1: take a quick break and we'll be back with j
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: Chtty and Chelsea, and we are back. We are back, Jay.
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: I believe this is the time in the show where
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 1: you are supposed to ask me for a piece of advice.
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 1: I know, and I have so many things I want
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 1: to ask you. Literally, I've been sitting here this whole time.
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: I was sitting before. When I was thinking about I
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 1: was like, what do I want to ask us for advice?
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 1: What do I want to stress for? At least I
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: think the advice I'm going to ask you for, Chelsea
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna take this opportunity to be selfish
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 1: to ask a question for me personally. Great, well that's
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 1: what this is about. Good, Okay, all right, So then
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 1: I'm then I'm just following the advice that my My
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 1: question would be, You've been in this industry for a
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 1: long long time, You've done so many different things, You've
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 1: won so many different hats. What has made you happiest
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 1: and most content on this journey? And how would you
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 1: advise As I work and continue to create my work
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 1: and purpose that you see me doing, what would be
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 1: your advice for how I can stay truly aligned to
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 1: my purpose and continue to seek that contentment and happiness
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 1: in that journey. I think that's probably a different answer
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 1: for different people, right I know for myself that having
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 1: an identity independent of my identity in the world has
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: always been the most valuable thing in my life. That
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 1: I have a life that's outside of Chelsea handler, that
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 1: I have a personal life, that I have hobbies that
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 1: I'd love to ski. You know, that's something that I
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 1: just said to myself as a young kid. I was like,
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 1: I'm just going to become so successful that I'm going
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 1: to pay somebody to teach me how to become the
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 1: best gear, like those things that give me so much
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 1: joy and that are independent of my career, because I
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 1: think in the beginning, you think you could just be
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 1: both things at the same time. You can have your
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 1: personal and professional and just blend the two. And I
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 1: think I would urge everyone to reconsider that and to
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 1: spend as much time making as many deposits as you
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 1: can into your outside life as you do to your
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 1: professional life. You know, it's like filling up your filling
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 1: up your jar. Right, That is such great advice. Thanks. Well,
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 1: I mean that's why I'm doing this podcast, spreading I'm
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 1: just spreading wisdom, you know what I mean, left, right
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 1: and center. It's just catch it if you can catch it.
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 1: If you can people, Well, Jay, where can everyone find you?
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 1: I would love for everyone to come then listening to
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 1: On Purpose, which is my podcast where I've interviewed Chelsea before.
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 1: We had a beautiful conversation, and of course on the
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 1: Daily Jay exclusively on Calm, where you can meditate with
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 1: me for seven minutes to day if you want to
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 1: start a new habit. And on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube and
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 1: TikTok and every social media platform out there, and don't
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 1: forget his book, Think like a Monk. Great, thank you Jack.
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 1: That was so I mean, I'm so amazed by you
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 1: allow people to come on the show and really sit
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 1: with them and their challenges in pain. I was really
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 1: blown away by that. Oh nicely. It's a lot. It
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 1: takes it takes a lot to actually sit down with
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 1: that energy. So you know, people shared heavy stuff. It
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 1: wasn't none of it was superficial. It was all real stuff.
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 1: So yeah, Well, on one woman called in for advice
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 1: about breastfeeding, and I was like, I don't know if
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 1: you've never heard anything I've said, but I'm not the
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 1: person to ask, and I would appreciate no more breastfeeding questions.
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Jay. Yeah, so grateful I could
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 1: come in. And if you like to get advice from
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 1: Chelsea and one of her guests, please write into Dear
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 1: Chelsea Project at gmail dot com.