Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Why do some narcissists use music and movies to communicate

Transcript

Why do some narcissists use music and movies to communicate · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on beautiful people Welcome to another
• 0:02
  episode of the narcissist code. I'm your favorite selfaware
• 0:06
  narcissist Mr. Lee Hammock better known as mental illness
• 0:08
  across all social media platforms.
• 0:11
  This your first time I see my face or hearing my lovely voice.
• 0:13
  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and I use my platform
• 0:16
  on social media to raise awareness for NPD, get more
• 0:19
  people into therapy and also validate the victims, survivors
• 0:21
  and thrivers of said disorder, said Tox.
• 0:24
  People said toxic trait. Today's episode is going to be
• 0:27
  about why do some narcissists use music poems in movies to
• 0:32
  convey how they feel. They try to tell you, hey listen
• 0:35
  to this song, hey watch this video, watch do this to to this
• 0:41
  is how I feel and things like that.
• 0:43
  So before we hop into today's episode, y'all make sure if you
• 0:46
  haven't already, to join my week, my newsletter, my
• 0:49
  newsletter slash e-mail list. The link is in the description
• 0:52
  of every podcast and video I do. I have a kids book, a selflove
• 0:55
  course, my journals, my own personal book and a lot of more.
• 0:59
  A lot of exciting things to come along and you don't want to miss
• 1:01
  out. Join the newsletter.
• 1:03
  It's free. I don't spam you.
• 1:04
  I promise you, you won't get no BS from me.
• 1:07
  Link it in the description of every single video I do, and
• 1:09
  I'll pin it in the comments on YouTube as well.
• 1:13
  So yeah, why do some narcissistic people use?
• 1:18
  Why do some narcissistic people use music and YouTube videos and
• 1:21
  songs and movies and things like that to try to connect to you,
• 1:26
  To try to hey, watch this right here.
• 1:28
  It'll tell you how I really feel about you.
• 1:30
  You know what I mean? This is how I really feel.
• 1:32
  I don't know how to put it. Yeah, because a lot of
• 1:35
  narcissistic people don't know how to express their love to you
• 1:41
  emotionally. They don't like the and this is
• 1:42
  me being realistic, That's me being real.
• 1:45
  That's me letting you know that that's how a lot of narcissistic
• 1:48
  people think. And this is me.
• 1:49
  Like, say, yeah, I've, I've done the same things.
• 1:52
  And no, not all narcissists do this.
• 1:54
  This is not me trying to put a blanket on narcissists and say
• 1:56
  all narcissists do this. All narcissists don't know this
• 1:59
  all. No, that is not what I'm saying
• 2:01
  at all. So listen to me out of my mouth.
• 2:03
  I'm not saying that all narcissists do this, but I'm
• 2:06
  saying a lot of narcissistic people absolutely do this.
• 2:11
  A lot of narcissistic people will tell you exactly Like I
• 2:14
  said, they'll do something horrible to you, right?
• 2:17
  They'll do something. They'll cheat on you, lots of
• 2:19
  you, steal from you, manipulate you, put their hands on you,
• 2:22
  whatever it is. That is horrible, right?
• 2:25
  And instead of apologizing to you, they'll send you a text
• 2:28
  message with a link to a YouTube video, a link to a new song, a
• 2:33
  song by, you know, a link to a link to a poem or something like
• 2:37
  that. A news article, something that
• 2:40
  somebody else has written. Some type, some type of
• 2:43
  emotional expression, Some type of some type of some form of
• 2:47
  emotional expression from someone else.
• 2:50
  Because a lot of narcissistic people don't know how to, how to
• 2:54
  regulate or express our emotions in a healthy way.
• 2:57
  Most narcissistic people are emotionally dysregulated,
• 3:01
  including me. Like, including me, my last
• 3:05
  psyche vow says I've gotten better control over my emotional
• 3:08
  dysregulation. But I'm still emotional,
• 3:10
  emotionally dysregulated, and I'm still they have therapy
• 3:14
  recommended for the rest of my life.
• 3:15
  Y'all. I got a I got a life sentence of
• 3:18
  therapy, if anything. And that's why I tried to convey
• 3:21
  to people I will be in therapy for the rest of my life.
• 3:23
  And I'm not trying to just say, hey, y'all this is just me.
• 3:25
  I will. This is my story, my life.
• 3:28
  But like, you get a lot of narcissistic people who don't
• 3:31
  know how to, they just don't know how.
• 3:32
  And this is me. Y'all again.
• 3:34
  If you're looking for a sign that a narcissist cares about
• 3:37
  you, loves you, that's them sending you back that ass up by
• 3:42
  Lil Wayne or juvenile, whoever that song is by, That's not
• 3:45
  showing them love them them sending you a song by Ed Sheeran
• 3:50
  or Usher or 112 or, you know, whoever you like.
• 3:54
  Luke Combs, Luke Bryan. Whoever they send you, Kane
• 3:57
  Brown. Whoever they whoever, they send
• 4:01
  you a song by, excuse me, a sneeze coming up.
• 4:03
  Hell of them. Whoever they send you a song by
• 4:06
  or a poem by, you know, a a poem by their favorite poet.
• 4:10
  Your, your favorite poet, somebody that you like.
• 4:12
  You mean a YouTube video? It's saying a YouTube video.
• 4:16
  They're trying to get you to conform or change your mind or
• 4:18
  something. Y'all they don't know how to
• 4:20
  express themselves in a healthy way, so they try to get other
• 4:22
  people to do it for them. And yes, y'all, could that be
• 4:25
  how they really feel? Yeah, it could be.
• 4:28
  But more than likely it's a form of manipulation to get you to
• 4:31
  drop your guard and feel bad for them and to take them back.
• 4:34
  Oh, I listen to the song, babe, and I think I I love you for
• 4:38
  sending it to me. I didn't know you felt that way.
• 4:41
  And they like, well, yeah, yeah, that's I I did feel that way.
• 4:45
  I did. I did.
• 4:46
  Thanks for that poem, babe. Thanks for that.
• 4:47
  You know. Thanks for that rap song.
• 4:49
  Thanks for. I didn't know you were you.
• 4:50
  You were horny. So you sent me back that ass up.
• 4:52
  Just tell me. You see what I'm saying?
• 4:55
  But that's how it goes, though. Y'all, They don't know how to
• 4:57
  communicate to you in a healthy way.
• 4:59
  So they they try to use other forms of communication.
• 5:02
  They try to get somebody else to do it for them.
• 5:04
  It's like somebody getting somebody else to do the
• 5:06
  emotional labor for them. So they themselves don't have to
• 5:10
  do it. Because sometimes, like, if,
• 5:12
  yeah, if this is how they feel, why don't they just say it?
• 5:15
  You know what I mean? Some of them will say it, but if
• 5:17
  this is how they really feel, say it.
• 5:19
  You listen. I they had to listen to the song
• 5:21
  or watch the YouTube video or read the poem or the magazine
• 5:25
  article. Whatever it is they sent to you.
• 5:27
  They had to read it before they sent it to you.
• 5:30
  You know what I mean? They had to read.
• 5:31
  Or if they type it, you know, they they can get a I to damn
• 5:34
  near generate an apology for you.
• 5:35
  But they don't even do that. You see what I'm saying?
• 5:39
  That's what I tell you people. Yeah.
• 5:40
  Effort matters. Effort matters In a relationship
• 5:43
  with a narcissist. Talk to us, whoever it is.
• 5:44
  Effort is currency. Their effort is relationship
• 5:48
  currency. And that's why I tell people
• 5:49
  y'all effort is absolutely relationship currency, That if
• 5:53
  they're not putting in the effort to show you that they
• 5:55
  actually love you and care about you y'all, then they might not.
• 5:58
  You know what I mean? I know so many, so many people
• 6:00
  ask me like, do the Narcis love you?
• 6:01
  Do they ever love you? Do they ever care about you?
• 6:03
  They care about you more in the beginning than they do later on
• 6:06
  in the relationship. Y'all, let's keep it.
• 6:07
  Let's keep it real. If they can send you waiting to
• 6:10
  exhale and tell you to watch 6 minutes into the movie, they had
• 6:13
  to watch the movie too. Why can't they just say it
• 6:15
  themselves? Why can't they do put that put
• 6:17
  that effort or go to therapy and learn how to emotion regulate
• 6:21
  their emotions. They say they don't believe in
• 6:23
  therapy. The therapist is just is just
• 6:25
  trying to make money. Yeah, the therapist needs to get
• 6:27
  needs to get paid for their time.
• 6:28
  Absolutely. You know what I'm saying?
• 6:30
  Yes, absolutely. The therapist needs to get
• 6:33
  absolutely get paid for their time.
• 6:35
  Yes, that is true. But when you're dealing with
• 6:37
  narcissistic people, like you said, they have to want to put
• 6:41
  the work in y'all they just make.
• 6:42
  They will literally make excuses.
• 6:44
  They will literally do everything except go to therapy
• 6:46
  and make and make the and put the work in to make their lives
• 6:48
  better. To treat you better, to be
• 6:50
  better for you, to be better for the kids.
• 6:52
  They will literally do all the other stuff rather than just go
• 6:55
  put the work in to get that help.
• 6:56
  You see what I'm saying? That's why I tell people y'all,
• 6:58
  it's way less about you than it is about that narcissistic
• 7:01
  person I keep. I try to hammer this fact home
• 7:04
  to people, but a lot of people don't.
• 7:06
  I'm not saying you don't understand it, but I'm just
• 7:08
  saying a lot of people don't get it.
• 7:09
  You don't. You don't feel it when I tell
• 7:11
  you this part right here, you're going to be dealing with this
• 7:14
  narcissistic person probably for the rest of your life.
• 7:16
  You know what I mean? If you have kids by.
• 7:18
  But if you don't have kids by them, you don't have to deal
• 7:20
  with them. I'm just saying, if you can
• 7:22
  break that trauma bond, which I believe you can do it, do it.
• 7:26
  I'm not telling you to leave. But I'm saying if you want to
• 7:28
  leave and you want to break the trauma bond or you want to be
• 7:30
  free and to find somebody else that could love, you, love
• 7:33
  yourself first. So first of all, to find
• 7:34
  somebody else that's not going to send you a love song.
• 7:37
  They can actually show you love. They're sending you a love song
• 7:40
  that expresses love in the song and not actually expressing
• 7:44
  their love in person. They were trying to sleep with
• 7:46
  you. They were trying to hug you.
• 7:47
  They, you know, I have a very popular video that's doing well
• 7:51
  now. It's got.
• 7:52
  How do narcissists demonstrate love?
• 7:54
  Through physical actions, through their presence, through
• 7:56
  being here like I'm here, Art. Now you see what I'm saying?
• 7:59
  They show you they love you by doing things for you.
• 8:01
  By doing deeds for you. I had a woman I talked to the
• 8:04
  other day and do it on one-on-one she said her partner
• 8:07
  or husband or whatever showed her that he loved her by
• 8:10
  changing her car tire. She got a flag like you.
• 8:12
  See how I love you. How much I love you.
• 8:13
  Can't change your tire. That's how a lot of narcissists
• 8:16
  know how to express love is through physical acts.
• 8:19
  Let me sleep with you. Let me get put.
• 8:20
  Let me clap them cheeks. I'll show you exactly how much I
• 8:22
  love you. Let me clap them sheet.
• 8:24
  Let me show you exactly how much I care about you.
• 8:25
  You know what I mean? They do physical things.
• 8:27
  They send you songs. They send you videos and things
• 8:29
  like that. But Lee, would you just say they
• 8:31
  send you songs because they love you?
• 8:32
  No, they send you songs because they don't know how to love you.
• 8:36
  You know that they send you movies and music videos and
• 8:39
  poems and YouTube whatever they send to you, you know, they
• 8:42
  write you. They write a write a letter from
• 8:44
  someone else. They send, like I said, they
• 8:46
  send you somebody, then they they then they plagiarize.
• 8:48
  Oh, Oh yeah, they they are. They are plagiarizing love.
• 8:54
  Literally. They are plagiarizing love.
• 8:58
  They they plagiarizing. They sort of send you.
• 9:00
  I'm not telling you they, I'm not saying that they actually
• 9:02
  are plagiarizing, but they're sending you stuff that other
• 9:05
  people have done. Other people have said other
• 9:07
  people have written and they try to express it and trying to
• 9:11
  present it at their own as their own emotions, as their own
• 9:13
  feelings. So yeah, it's it is a form of
• 9:16
  plagiarism. It would seem like it wouldn't,
• 9:18
  you know, just in that space. And that's why I'm just saying
• 9:20
  like it it it helps you deal with with narcissistic people
• 9:24
  when you are trying to do this type of stuff.
• 9:26
  Y'all it is just one of those things that like understand, I'm
• 9:30
  not saying that they never cared about you, but they care the
• 9:32
  most, The narcissist cares about you is in the beginning of the
• 9:34
  relationship. The love goes down.
• 9:37
  There's an there's a there's an expiration date on how how long
• 9:41
  and how much a narcissist is going to be there for you.
• 9:44
  How long and how much did they that they're going to care for
• 9:47
  you? How long and how much do they're
• 9:48
  going to do certain things for you?
• 9:50
  They were saying you have to prepare for that.
• 9:52
  You know what I mean? I'm not trying to be the the
• 9:54
  bearer of bad news, but I'm also saying that you have to prepare
• 9:57
  for this narcissistic person to to discard you.
• 10:00
  And by discard you, I don't mean, I don't necessarily mean
• 10:02
  like they might actually, this is not, this is not funny,
• 10:05
  y'all, but they might actually send you a song to break up with
• 10:07
  you. You mean they might they might
• 10:09
  actually send you a song when times are bad to break up with
• 10:13
  you. You know I'm moving on.
• 10:14
  Something like that. Get your bags.
• 10:16
  Get the hell on. Because I don't want you no
• 10:20
  more. I don't want you no more.
• 10:21
  I think you better be leaving. Leave me alone.
• 10:24
  Get your bags. Get the hell on.
• 10:27
  They might send. They might send you that song.
• 10:29
  Because I don't want you no more.
• 10:31
  Who's singing that song? I know that song.
• 10:32
  I think you better leave. Leave me alone.
• 10:35
  They might send you a song like that to break up with you.
• 10:38
  It's not necessarily only the good emotions that they that
• 10:41
  they send to you. They actually might send you
• 10:43
  songs that express their anger and their frustration as well to
• 10:46
  discard you. Hey, I can't really tell you how
• 10:49
  I really feel deep down. So I'm going to say I'm going to
• 10:52
  send you this song right here. And it's a horrible song that
• 10:54
  breaks up with you or something about, you know, they might send
• 10:57
  you instead of just telling you that they're filing for divorce.
• 11:00
  They might send you Usher papers.
• 11:04
  They might send you Usher papers.
• 11:06
  They just be like, oh damn near lost my Mama.
• 11:09
  I'd have been do so much drama then told you everything I need.
• 11:12
  You know what I mean? You see what I'm saying?
• 11:13
  Nobody sent you papers and tell you that they break it up with
• 11:16
  you in that way shape or form, you know?
• 11:18
  But I was just saying like if you or dealing with a
• 11:20
  narcissistic person, they're sending you songs.
• 11:22
  They don't know how to express their emotions in a healthy way
• 11:24
  and if they don't get help and learn how this is what you got.
• 11:29
  This is what you're in for. Y'all.
• 11:30
  But anyway, y'all think y'all were tuning into another another
• 11:33
  episode of the Narciss. Like I said, the nurse's code.
• 11:36
  Join the newsletter. Join the mailing list of
• 11:38
  whatnot. Y'all kids book coming soon.
• 11:40
  Me and my wife cowrote it, so it's coming from the perspective
• 11:42
  of me and her together, our first work together.
• 11:45
  Stay tuned for more like a subscriber.
• 11:47
  It's like it's a subscriber as always.
• 11:49
  But to hear this is out of peace.
• 11:50
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
• 11:53
  Y'all I'm I am truly, eternally grateful for every single one of
• 11:56
  y'all that support the channel in any way, shape or form.
• 12:00
  If you haven't already, make sure you that you subscribe to
• 12:02
  the channel so that we can reach more people, to help more
• 12:05
  people. The Self Love brand is
• 12:07
  available. I'm strong.
• 12:08
  I love me. It's a self love brand.
• 12:10
  The Self Love Journal is available on Amazon as well to
• 12:13
  help you rebuild that self love and identity.
• 12:16
  You know, doing the touch relationship.
• 12:17
  Also looking into joining the channel membership to get more
• 12:20
  behind the scenes perks and things like that.
• 12:22
  Y'all, thank you so much for your support.
• 12:25
  Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.