Latest / Reality TV Cringe / 70: Temptation Island - Marriage, Then What? (S5 E4)

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70: Temptation Island - Marriage, Then What? (S5 E4) · Reality TV Cringe

0:10
Hello Raccoon, Hi Raccoon, Welcome to the dumpster, the reality TV cringe
0:17
Dumpster. We are here today to talk about Tim j Jan Island. Lots
0:24
of hose on this island, and I hate the hole shame, but I'm
0:27
just calling a hola ho. I mean, did you see that party with
0:31
the guys on party? Any excuse whatsoever to take off all your clothes and
0:38
twerk and just grind up on somebody's hard deal? I mean, are they
0:43
hard? You think? I think so. I mean they're right up on
0:46
their dicks. I think the boys are into it. Meanwhile, at the
0:50
girls Villa, it's like snooze fest. It's like a fucking stupid talent show.
0:55
Yeah. I think Vanessa's organizing it, so of course it's gonna suck.
0:58
Yeah, she's stand her me too, I have to tell you.
1:02
So, this is our fourth episode in and I need more. I need
1:06
more too, I need more spice, I need more sex. I need
1:10
to see some shit happening. Yeah. The format of these shows is weird
1:14
to me, Like I don't know half of the singles. Like we had
1:18
eliminations this episode. Who's that? How am I? Who are they?
1:22
I didn't even know you were on the island seen them. Yeah, let's
1:26
get into the critique of it and then we'll get into the episode. But
1:29
before we do that, we just want to remind everybody that we are in
1:32
a pro pro Yep, how'd you I have hid your kids? We are
1:34
insulting ever everybody out here. We don't word police, we are not politically
1:38
correct. We're just here to have fun in a dubstar. Yeah, give
1:42
us a break for real. Also, go follow us on Instagram at reality
1:45
tv cringe. We're still not a two thousand followers, and I blame you
1:49
guys. Everyone listening has probably followed us. I just need to We need
1:53
to reach more people, and we do have a plan to do this.
1:57
By the way, we do. We're gonna start filming our ship. Yeah,
2:00
we're gonna start filming our pods. Yeah where you already are filming our
2:04
key keys on Patron, which, by the way, you need to go
2:06
sign up for if you want bonus content for sure, add free content extra
2:12
shit Patreon, dot com, slash reality tv crnch. It's only five dollars
2:15
a month, right now, that's right, come on, that's cheap,
2:17
right, But we are going to start filming ourselves. We're gonna start doing
2:21
reactions. We're gonna go get our new TV for our reactions. I know,
2:24
hey, we're supposed to get it at the SAMs. I was going
2:27
to have my husband go and get it at the Sam's Club. But we're
2:30
just gonna sit here in this new studio, yeah, and watch Sister Wives
2:36
and Welcome to Plaid Bill and whatever the fuck and whatever else we want to
2:38
watch, and we're going to react to it. We got a lot of
2:40
shit to say, especially when we're watching although with Temptation Island, I have
2:45
to say, like I noticed myself blanking out thinking about what I'm going to
2:50
cook at tonight. We're thinking about a conversation I have three days ago where
2:53
I should have said something different and I didn't, And then I'm like,
2:55
oh God, I'm supposed to be watching this fucking show. I know.
2:59
I watched US once on Thursday when it came out, because I always watch
3:01
it right when coming out. I want to see the juice, and I
3:05
forgot about it by Friday, and then I watched again with you today.
3:08
Yeah, And there were a couple of times today where I'm like, I
3:10
blinked out. Can we rewind. I know, I'm like, what did
3:13
he say? Like what are they doing? Because there's a sameness to it,
3:17
Like every week it's the same thing. We have a date and then
3:22
we have a party at the villa, and then people are in a pro
3:23
pro right, and then we have confessionals. And the one thing I really
3:29
don't like about this season and last season is they're not doing a bonfire every
3:32
episode. Yeah, it's kind of weird. Right. Can you imagine how
3:36
much better it would be if they were at the bonfire at the end of
3:38
the episode and we got to see everything so much better? We only had
3:42
one and it was split between two episodes for the bonfire, and that's annoying.
3:46
And then we haven't even seen the red light go off. There's been
3:49
stuff happening. Yeah, people are kissing. Yeah, there's been stuff happening,
3:53
So the red lights should be going off. And just to remind you,
3:55
when somebody in the other villa is doing some things sexual with somebody else,
4:02
then a red light is supposed to go off in the other villa.
4:05
Yeah, So if your man's doing something, then the red light should be
4:08
going off in the women's villa. Yeah, And it ain't. No,
4:11
why not? And it's not going off in the men's villa either, because
4:14
Paris is megan out with Tasheek in this episode. Well we kind of end
4:18
there, so maybe the red light's gonna go off. But I mean,
4:21
I just I need to see some red light action and I need a little
4:25
bit more meat. I need to understand these singles a little bit more.
4:28
And of course we're early on. Yeah, it's early times, so maybe
4:31
it'll get better. Yeah, but let's talk about these main characters a little
4:35
bit before we get into the episode, because I'm not sure how the casting
4:39
was. I'm not sure it was entirely successful. What do you mean,
4:43
for example, Great and Paris? Yeah, okay, that's one couple,
4:46
right. Great has no personality other than I want to fuck. I mean,
4:49
he is so boring, that's all. He gives a shit of.
4:53
All he's doing is looking at asses and wanting to lick shit off of bodies.
4:57
I'm like, do you have a life, what's your job, what's
4:59
your do you have any goals? No? Why do you love Paris?
5:02
And then there's Paris. Yeah, she's vapid. She's the equivalent of a
5:06
twelve year old girl who totally discovered boys. Yep, she's always sticking her
5:11
tongue out of her mouth and acting like she wants to fuck. We totally
5:15
thought she was going to be the good girl, like the girl next door,
5:17
like she wanted commitment and Great didn't want commitment. We kind of got
5:21
that right at the beginning. Yeah, but now she's like all up on
5:26
Tajik like there's nothing more. I mean, there's nothing about her really,
5:30
There's no conversations, there's no exploration of her connection to Great and who they
5:34
are and why they want to be together. It's just like, oh,
5:36
come on, now, you got to give me some more. With these
5:39
people, I feel like Paris and Great after this episode, I'm like,
5:42
y'all came on here just a fuck, Like you guys weren't wanting to stay
5:46
together right or to be cloud goblins, I mean. And then we have
5:49
Hall In Caitlin, the two most boring people ever to be on any reality
5:55
show ever, so boring. All Hall ever talks about is children wanting a
6:00
family, and all Calin ever talks about is not wanting children and not wanting
6:02
to start a family. I don't care. I don't care about them at
6:05
All. Every time they talk, I'm just like, all, I'm zoning
6:10
out, especially with Caitlin Sames of it all. It's just okay, they're
6:14
the same. They're boring, They've got nothing going on in their lives,
6:16
or if they do, they're not talking about it. Yeah yet, I
6:20
guess. But All does not strike me as somebody who's like super interesting anyway.
6:26
No, Like that's why I like michaela being like he's so interesting.
6:29
He's like the type of man that I want, And he's like so interesting
6:31
to talk to. How show me where? Tell me his mouth? Every
6:35
time he's talking, I like, look at it, and then I completely
6:40
forget who I am. Like, I'm like, you're who are you?
6:44
Womamwamp? That's what I hear. When he's the oldest one here too,
6:47
I know. And he's got nothing to give, like absolutely he has the
6:51
most life experience. And now this could be producers, this could be editing.
6:57
Yeah, maybe they are talking more in depth about their lives and wants
7:00
and their desires to make this interesting, and maybe the editors are cutting it
7:03
out. But somehow I don't think so. He just strikes me as really
7:06
fucking boring, And so is she super boring. Then we have Vanessa and
7:13
Rob, and as much as I hate to admit it, they're the most
7:15
interesting couple because she's a toxic, unhinged, out of control. Yeah bitch's
7:25
as the word. And Rob is twenty four and he's kind of a loose
7:29
cannon and he's looking for a connection and he's very expressive. So we do
7:33
get emotions from Rob, like he is yelling at the girls in a hot
7:36
tub because they're talking over him. He is saying that he feels invisible,
7:41
and we are learning more about him and even though I'm still a little bored,
7:46
at least he's being honest and he's giving something. Yeah, totally,
7:48
And even in this episode with the bonfire and everything, he kind of reveals
7:51
a little bit more about what he's feeling about how he thinks that him and
7:56
Vanessa are not a good match, right, yeah, dug Hello, hello
8:01
gosh. And then we have Maricella and Christopher, probably the two biggest disappointments,
8:05
because I'm team Maricella one percent. We've talked about this. She's a
8:09
bisexual woman's I think been repressed in her ability to express her sexuality and her
8:16
desires and to be her authentic self. She's got Christopher who doesn't know how
8:20
to handle her bisexuality. They have innately a really good storyline that we should
8:26
be talking about and getting into, but Marisella just kind of blends into the
8:31
background in every episode. There's nothing from her. She doesn't talk very much,
8:35
or they're not showing it. Maybe they're not showing it, which is
8:37
like why because they're interesting to me because of the depth in their relationship and
8:43
the idea that Chris maybe is controlling her and making her feel less than and
8:48
making her feel bad about who she is as a person, Like I want
8:50
to get more into that. Yeah, I don't care about halla wanting kids.
8:54
I do not care. I really don't care about seeing all these kids
8:58
grinding up on each other every episode. I mean, I don't think I'm
9:01
that old, but I mean that's boring to me. The tw Yeah,
9:05
the twerking's boring to me. Michaela dropping it like it's hot right on Hal's
9:09
face. I mean, I'm like, oh, you could almost see her,
9:13
but you could see her uterus. You could see whether she was ovulating
9:18
my friend. You could see beyond that to what she ate that night.
9:22
She's showing everything. And meanwhile, when they have conversations, it's always about
9:26
and I want kids, you know, And I'm gonna cry. I want
9:31
kids. I need kids right in my uterus. Please let me twork and
9:33
you can see my uterus right where your splue needs to go. It's just
9:37
like, God, I want kids in my womb. Now here's my womb
9:43
to check it out by cheese my cakes. Yeah, I'm like, am
9:50
I old? I mean, you're you're younger than me, But am I
9:52
like so fucking old? I just find that to be repugnant. Oh,
9:56
I'm watching this stuff and I'm like, girls have some dignity a little like
10:00
the single girls, you know, not talking about the girls on the other
10:03
side, Like it's the stark difference in the parties. I'm like, what
10:07
is going on here? Like, you girls don't have to t work just
10:11
to win a man's heart, you know what I mean? Maybe they do.
10:13
I mean, maybe the producers are telling them to do that, But
10:16
I mean, I don't understand, Michaela, how you opening your uterusk for
10:20
everyone to view is going to endear you or really going to ensure you a
10:26
long term relationship with haul. The most boring person on the planet. It's
10:30
because she's probably faking. I don't think she wants all falling for it because
10:33
totally, because she's got big ditties. He's gonna Okay, so he's gonna
10:37
leave Caitlin, who's inherently boring and an NPC for sure, totally, and
10:41
he's going to leave her for Michaela because he thinks Michaela wants to have a
10:45
family, and she's going to dump him within a month, oh for sure,
10:48
because he's boring. Unless he makes a lot of money, Unless he
10:50
makes a lot of money and he could provide a good life for her,
10:54
then maybe she'll stay. But no. Cat. The best part of these
11:01
shows to me is Mark Wahlberg. Yeah, because I think he's really coming
11:05
into each moment that he's in like authentically. Yeah. He's like trying to
11:09
help these kids. They're not listening at all. He's trying to bring some
11:13
wisdom and like really get them to explore what's happening in their psyche, and
11:18
they're just like, no, we just want to fuck. Yeah, And
11:20
I just want to scream about my mate in the other villa. That's Vanessa.
11:24
That's it. Even though Vanessa is like so unbelievably thirsty for Bryce for
11:31
some reason, Like she's just he doesn't want No, you said he might
11:37
want Maricella. Everybody wants Maricella. I mean, she's objectively the best one
11:41
there. She's a kind person. Yeah, she seems again like she's an
11:46
emotionally she's an emotional person who doesn't know how to express her emotions. Right,
11:52
She's a beautiful person totally, and I think every single man in that
11:56
villa wants her. But she's just again being a wallflower because I think she
12:01
still wants to believe in Christopher. She still wants to be with Christopher,
12:05
even Christopher is dra It's toxic for her too. Yeah, it's toxic as
12:09
fuck. Absolutely. Those are my kind of early thoughts about the season.
12:15
I do have a question for you. Do you think that this would be
12:16
more interesting, at least for us if the couples were in their early to
12:22
mid thirties, even late thirties, maybe a couple of a spattering of late
12:26
twenties, but just like had some maturity. Yeah. But like the thing
12:31
is, like most of these couples are in their thirties, Like Caitlyn's thirty
12:33
one, the oldest one she's like thirty five or some shit. Isn't that
12:39
how old Hall is too? Yeah? And then I think Marisella is like
12:43
twenty seven or something. And then Paris is the youngest of twenty four and
12:48
Great's pretty young too, and I think Christopher is he's thirty thirty or thirty
12:54
two something that I just feel like everybody's so immature. Yeah, it'd be
12:58
nice if they were more mature. We were kind of talking about the Big
13:01
D on Peacock because that keeps popping up in our mentions and everything, right,
13:05
and I wonder if we maybe should pair Temptation Island with the Big D.
13:09
We might want to, because the Big D at least has an interesting
13:13
premise, like you bring your divorced partner, the person that you divorced,
13:16
onto a resort where you're gonna go date somebody else in front of them,
13:20
in front of them, which would be kind of interesting. I think so
13:24
too. And they have the world and life experience of being in a marriage.
13:28
Yeah, so there's kind of more depth automatically. Yeah, So I
13:31
feel like maybe that might be interesting to pair it up with Hoe Island because
13:35
you have the immature crazy people on Hoe Island and then you have the Big
13:39
D all these divorced couples, and you know what it's like to be divorced
13:43
when you're like, I'm gonna be so hot, I'm gonna get all the
13:48
dick. I'm gonna just hook up, you know, I know. Yeah,
13:50
I've been divorced a time or two girls. After my first marriage,
13:56
though, I just bopped right into my second one, I was still pretty
13:58
young, like like immediately, um, yeah, you didn't have like a
14:03
single phase. No, oh my god. It's been rare for me to
14:07
have a single phase due to my desirability, really due to my attractiveness.
14:11
I mean, you are quite beautiful. And then after my second marriage,
14:13
then I didn't have a whole phase. I never like really slept around too
14:18
much, but I did like date, yeah a lot, catching all the
14:20
man and that was a lot of fun. But it wasn't long before I
14:24
was you know, branded and ushered off into another corral. But yeah,
14:30
that's it's fun. Yeah, it would be kind of fun to see so
14:33
raccoons. You tell us, do you guys want us to maybe also cover
14:37
the Big D? Yeah? Why not? Let us know on the Instagram
14:39
at Reality tv cringe DM me because Delia doesn't go on the instag give a
14:45
shit, it's just me. I mean, I do give a shit,
14:46
but I don't sure her responses. Yeah, responses. Let us know if
14:50
you're interested in us touching on that as well. Yeah, all right,
14:54
enough talk Beatrice, you're so wordy. Let's get to the point. Let's
14:58
get into today's episode, which is season five, episode four, entitled marriage.
15:05
Then what like, what's the title of this The title doesn't apply to
15:09
anything that was discussed in this episode unless we were zoning out and thinking about
15:13
what we're going to cook tonight. Well, I mean, Caitlin's the only
15:15
one that's talking about how she had thousand percent wants to marry Hall, but
15:18
she doesn't know because she's falling for this guy with this beard. I don't
15:22
even know his name. I can't remember his name. All I know he's
15:24
got a CGI beard. He's got an AI very dark. It's a very
15:28
strange beard. Yeah, strange beard. Guy is I guess on her radar.
15:33
And although she lives Hall, she cannot deny that she's establishing a connection
15:37
with the AI beard. We pick up with the show back at the Bonfire.
15:43
Remember last week, the last thing we saw was Paris telling a group
15:48
of people that she would have sucked Christiane's dick if Christian or tajiks it was
15:54
Christian. Really, I'm telling you again, it's Christian. Yeah. This
15:56
discussion last about this guy. Yeah. So her first date she went out
16:02
with Christian, second date she went out with Taijik, right, So she's
16:06
telling everybody that if the cameras weren't there, she would have sucked Christiane's dick.
16:11
God, and so Great is watching it at the male bonfire and all
16:15
of the other dudes. I was like, oh, oh my god.
16:19
And Great ends up saying because you said you didn't think Great was going to
16:22
care, yeah, and I mean I don't think he really cares. Well.
16:25
He said he was embarrassed because she's my girl and that's how she's acting
16:30
when I'm not there. And he also says I've always asked my friends,
16:33
how does she act when I'm not there? Yeah, So he doesn't necessarily
16:37
trust her, and frankly I don't think he should. But he's also cheating
16:41
on her too. He's cheated on her before too, so it's like the
16:44
double standard, like that's my girl, she shouldn't be acting like that when
16:47
she's with me. But I'm like, you also cheated on her round,
16:51
I'm curious about Paris, Like, why did you come here, Diana?
16:53
Just come here so that you could get the opportunity to cheat on him,
16:57
like he cheated on you. Are you here to actually discover something about your
17:02
relationship and yourself? Because I feel like she's just using this as an opportunity
17:06
to fuck. I think so too. I don't think she wants to be
17:07
with Great long term. She says she bullies him and doesn't treat him well.
17:11
So it's like, you honestly don't love him? No, I mean
17:15
I don't know. I don't think she does. I don't know what's going
17:17
on with those two. Yeah, I don't get them. Then we see
17:19
Rob and Rob sees Vanessa's content, yes, the weak worth of content,
17:26
And the first thing he sees is that Vanessa says that she has lowered her
17:30
standards to be with Rob and that normally people see her with balling guys,
17:37
but now she's with Rob and she's kind of embarrassed. Yeah, And then
17:41
they also show the clip of her trying to get with Bryce where she's like,
17:45
I just want to husband and wife you in this bitch, I want
17:48
to fuck you, I want you, I'm love you, I want to
17:52
fuck you. And so Rob sees this and he says, I'm relieved.
18:00
Yeah. Why he's relieved because it gives him license to leave the relationship.
18:03
I think you think so. And he also says that with this distance and
18:07
being away from her, not around her all the time because she's a toxic
18:11
narcissist, he's feeling like happier. Yeah, And everybody in the villa can
18:15
tell he's happier, Like he's enjoying himself, he's engaging in conversations, he's
18:19
able to be himself and not always stifled by this battle axe Vanessa. I
18:25
just hope that that means that he is true to his word and he will
18:30
not leave with her at the end of the episode, because I feel or
18:33
at the end of the season, because I feel like he's the type of
18:37
guy that would be easily swayed by somebody like Vanessa who's got that big,
18:41
bold energy, that boss bitch energy, and she's a bit manipulative, like
18:47
she grabbed on his dick before they left at the very beginning of this season.
18:52
Can't let that go. I can't because she's like, don't forget about
18:56
me, that's mine. I love you, right, And then you're literally
19:00
the day later saying that you want to fuck Bryce and you want to be
19:03
his wife. Like it's wild to me. I just hope that Rob doesn't
19:07
settle and go back to her because he's swooped around in her big ass orbit.
19:12
Yeah. I will be very interested to see. I feel like,
19:18
I don't know, something's telling me that Vanessa is going to get a little
19:21
self realization. I know that's crazy. Oh my god, a little bit
19:23
of awareness to realize she's toxic when nobody in her villa wants her. Oh,
19:30
Bryce doesn't want her. Bryce is going to start making moves on.
19:33
Who is he actually making on? When they were on the group date,
19:36
he was he talking to Marcella. Yeah, I think he was talking to
19:38
Maricella. I think he likes Maricella. Yeah, of course, but Vanessa
19:42
won't let him alone long enough to actually talk to Maricella. So I think
19:47
when Vanessa starts to realize she actually has no options, and then she's watching
19:52
Rob at the other villa make connections talk to Dez. Obviously, we see
19:56
him making out with Dez in this episode, I think she's going to start
20:00
to become manipulative and say she's sorry, and she realizes she's too hard on
20:07
him and she wants him back. I think that's what she's going to try.
20:10
That's what I'm worried about, because I'm worried that Rob will fall for
20:12
that bullshit and go back to her when she's literally the worst. Yep.
20:18
I hope not. I hope not to. Then we get to Hall and
20:22
he sees Caitlin on the camera talking about I'm snoring already. What were they
20:26
doing about? Was it children? Oh? She has a connection with Ai
20:30
Beard. Yes, and she never thought she'd be able to talk to somebody.
20:33
I'm like sharing so much with you. It's like really surprising me,
20:37
so so connected to you, and I wasn't expecting as She also says that
20:41
ai Beard reminds her of her X and that is dangerous. He is planning
20:47
my dinner at that point, I know, really, So that's interesting.
20:51
So she has an ex who's still on her mind, maybe probably, and
20:55
he's more attractive than Hall because and remember I mean at the beginning of the
21:00
season, Haula talked about how she likes six packs and she likes fit guys
21:03
and he's not fit, so right, maybe that was that she's tempted by
21:08
him. So Hal watches the footage of this, and he too says he
21:12
is relieved, yes, and Mark kind of calls him out on it,
21:15
and he's like, aren't you relieved because you see her making a connection and
21:21
you're also making a connection, So you don't feel so bad because you're vibing
21:26
with michaela yep, And he says, yeah, that's definitely part of it.
21:30
Maybe part of it also is he's glad that she's not fucking yet or
21:33
making out with anybody yet. Maybe yet, right, I think she's gonna
21:37
go up with Ai Beard at some point. Maybe. Did you also hear
21:41
Mark say that maybe stop auditioning for a handmaid? Yeah? Well was that
21:47
about? Because he's auditioning for the mother of his child, somebody to just
21:51
procreate with him. So he's auditioning a role which Mark refers to as a
21:56
handmaid, which I thought was funny. And he's like, maybe just as
22:00
that whoever you're talking to in the Men's vela is not here to have children
22:03
with you, so that you can actually learn about who they are as opposed
22:06
to like, is their uterus fertile? Yeah right, Jesus, dude,
22:11
can you come in her punani? That's that's really what he's thinking about.
22:15
So after all this Mark tells the dudes, and he's also told the women
22:18
that they're going to have singles eliminations. Now, yeah, remember I don't
22:22
do last week that the singles that are not making connections they gotta gold,
22:27
they gotta get voted off the island. Yeah, like Survivors style, that's
22:30
right. And so the men are going to have to vote one single woman
22:34
off the island, and the women are going to have to do the same
22:37
with their single men. So that's a wild card. Is that not what
22:42
has happened in previous seasons? It is? Oh, but I told you
22:45
and you didn't know, so I'm refreshing your memory. Okay, So they
22:48
did that on prior seasons and the bonfires. Yeah, so the only new
22:52
thing that they've done this season is the red Light that they haven't even showed
22:55
the red light and the mixer with everybody in the first episode. That was
22:59
the first time that they ever did that. So after the Bonfires, the
23:03
men returned to the Men's villa, the women returned to the women's villa and
23:08
kind of download the singles there. I was bored. Marossella said that,
23:14
you know, Chris talked about a girl and how great she was and how
23:18
she had great credit and checked all the boxes. Paras said, I just
23:21
don't want to cry anymore. I don't want to talk about it. Can't
23:22
we just have some fun? Oh my god, nobody cares. Nobody cares.
23:26
At the guy's villa, everybody gets into the hot tub, yeah,
23:30
and start talking. And this is where we have that interesting interaction between Abby
23:34
and Chris, because Abby decides, for whatever reason to call Chris out.
23:40
Yeah, like, and I don't even know what the context of. I
23:42
don't know what started it, So it just seemed like it just started out
23:47
of the blue, because I think it was something to the effect of like
23:48
the guys were asking if there's anything that we've done or whatever, and Abby's
23:53
just like, well, you could be a little bit more authentic, you
23:57
can be a little bit more genuine. Every time I talk to you,
24:00
it feels like you're not giving me the full story and you're just giving me
24:03
bunch of bullshit. You're a good talker, but I want to know more
24:07
of you, and Chris gets triggered by this. Yeah, he doesn't take
24:11
that well immediately starts to get defensive, which Abby calls out and like,
24:15
why can't you take any criticism? Yeah, why can't you hear what I'm
24:18
saying? And then she goes on to call him fake and a narcissist and
24:22
a narcissist, which is big, which is kind of we need to stop
24:27
using the term narcissis. It's not you and I. We're going to continue,
24:30
yes, like as a society, Yeah, we're accurate and we can
24:33
diagnose that accurately, but like everybody kind of uses that word. I don't
24:37
know that Chris is a narcissist, but I know Abby called him one.
24:41
He got triggered and he left the hot tub. He did leave. He
24:44
couldn't take it, He couldn't take the heat. He's like, how dare
24:47
you try and tell me who I am? When I know who I am?
24:49
I am often okay, blah blah okay. So Abby is over Chris.
24:55
Yeah already, Yeah, like it only took two days. Yep,
25:00
she's working out his dick last time, I know, Jesus makes no sense.
25:03
So Chris is going to have to find him another profound heart connection.
25:07
We'll see what happens with that. We get to the next day and we're
25:11
going on group dates. Yeah, so the girls are going out with all
25:15
the guys, and the guys are going out with all the girls. The
25:21
girls go fishing, that's what they did. I forgot. The guys play
25:25
soccer, and Abby beats everybody at soccer. The guys suck at sports,
25:29
yeah, which I thought was hilarious, pretty funny, but then rather quickly
25:33
it kind of devolves into, well, let's interview the potential eliminated singles.
25:41
Yeah, And it was like, we only got to see a couple interviews
25:44
with a couple of people, and I don't even remember any of them.
25:48
It was like, I think Tia was in there somewhere. So the guys
25:52
sat down with Tia. I think Chris sat down with Tia, yeah,
25:55
and kind of friend zoned her but says she's a cool chick. Yeah,
25:57
if I recall correctly. Abby was also up for elimination, and I think
26:03
that's because she had that fight with Christopher. Abby actually sits down with dad
26:07
bod yeah Hall and says, actually really like you, Yeah, and I
26:11
really haven't had an opportunity I saw potential right to talk with you. And
26:15
he's like, yeah, you know, I've been kind of fixated on MICHAELA.
26:19
And I'd be like, yeah, I love MICHAELA and I think you
26:22
guys are great together, but I just wish I had a chance to talk
26:25
to you. And I'm not believing a single word that she's saying. There's
26:27
no way, yeah on this planet, that she's interested in Hall, no
26:32
way. She just wants to stay on the trying to stay on the island.
26:34
And then the third woman who may be eliminated as Marjorie. Yeah,
26:40
who's the woman that Vanessa went off on when Rob chose her for a date
26:45
for the first date, Right, And so Rob takes Marjorie out to interview
26:48
her, and she's just talking shit NonStop about in Nefisa, right, Like
26:52
she's not even trying to like garner any kind of connection nor form anything with
26:56
Rob. She's immediately being like, well, I think you should choose Nafisa
27:00
because she's really terrible and toxic and she hasn't formed a connection with anybody,
27:04
and she's really meeting it, right, So she's not seeing any of his
27:10
like facial expression or his likes. Not interested in her gossiping about somebody else.
27:17
He just wants to know if she's down to be there and continue with
27:21
that. Yeah, and she's not getting it, and so she's digging her
27:23
own grave. Yet on the girl's side, um, we have up for
27:27
elimination Christiane, who again Paris wanted to suck his dick. Yeah from like
27:34
Australia. Okay, yeah, a dark hairy's handsome, but I'm like nondescript
27:40
and so background character, Yeah, Griffin, which we've never seen before until
27:45
this was Griffin. Was Griffin here the whole time we didn't even know there
27:48
was it, couldn't even see him. And then Bryce. Now Bryce is
27:52
up on the chopping block purely for punishment because he's not chasing Vanessa hard enough
28:00
exactly exactly, she's just doing it. And Vanessa puts her person up to
28:06
retaliate. Chris also puts his person up to retali happy did you catch too?
28:10
So both of these people, ye are obviously bitter ass people. So
28:15
with Griffin, he sits down with Caitlin right who doesn't want to have children
28:19
right now and that's her whole storyline, and basically says he's interested in her.
28:23
Yeah, As his last gasp to stay on the show totally, Bryce
28:27
sits down and talks to Vanessa, and Vanessa is like, you know,
28:33
you need to step up because people are getting eliminated. And he's like,
28:37
yeah, well, you know, it's my style to kind of take it
28:41
a little bit slow. And she's like, you can't take it slow.
28:44
You have to go for what you want. Other guys are making huge strides
28:48
and you're not basically pressuring him into pursuing her well, and she's acting like
28:55
other guides are making strides with her. Literally nobody is interested in Vanessa at
29:00
all. He doesn't want to. He's like, I want to take it
29:02
slow, meaning I don't want to be with you. I'm scared right now.
29:03
I'm scared. I run away. You're scaring me. Yep. I
29:07
want to talk to other women, and I want the freedom to talk to
29:10
other women. But she's already told all the other women don't talk to Bryce.
29:12
She's already paid on Bryce. Yes, she's marked her territory all of
29:17
the other girls. I just hope that at some point Paris, Maricella or
29:25
one of these other girls takes him on a date and maybe actually forms a
29:29
connection. Oh my god, I would love to see that Maricela and him,
29:32
Marisella and him, I would be seeing a couple. And I think
29:33
he likes Maricella. Yeah, I mean, how could you not? Like?
29:37
Vanessa would start bullying Maricella because Marisella is a pushover, And then maybe
29:41
Bryce would get upset. Maybe this would turn the house against Vanessa. I
29:45
don't know. Maybe it'll be an entertaining season if we do think I know.
29:49
So. Finally, the women make a decision and they're gonna eliminate the
29:53
person we didn't even know was there in the village in the first place,
29:56
which is Griffin. The guys make their decision to eliminate Marjorie because she hasn't
30:03
made a connection and she's crazy. She's crazy, and she starts popping off
30:07
and getting crazy when they tell her immediately because she's insecure and sad that she's
30:11
the first one to go. I mean, I get it, but she
30:15
immediately gets into well, Nifisa should have been the one. You should have
30:18
eliminated her. Nobody likes her, she doesn't actually have any friends, she's
30:21
mean, she's a mean girl. And then Nifisa is like um, excuse
30:26
me, why are you talking about you're weird? I don't even know you,
30:29
you don't know me. And she's like, I'm not here to make
30:30
friends with you guys, and here to focus on the men because they're the
30:33
most important, right, And Marjorie just says something else again about being like,
30:37
well, but you could have been like nicer, and then stomps off,
30:41
and then she's gone and eliminated and buys, we don't know you,
30:44
we don't want to know you, goodbye, and I don't need your drama.
30:45
That's right after the eliminations, everybody's free to party again. So we've
30:51
got a painting party at the guy's villa, and we have a talent show
30:56
at the villa. Can we talk about that please? Like it is so
31:02
turned up at the guy's villa, like every single night, it's nudity,
31:07
it's lingerie, gatis viewing, it's twerking, it's bikinis. It's crazy,
31:12
it's not And meanwhile at the girl's villa, they're like pulling cards and asking
31:17
questions. They're playing truth or dare, Like what is that shepherd design from
31:21
the girls? Or is that by design from the producers? Like, let's
31:22
make the men's as risksque and crazy as possible, and let's make the women
31:30
the complete opposite. I wish we could talk to cast members, but I'm
31:32
wondering if this is kind of how it shakes out by nature given the opportunity,
31:37
Because the women know that they're going to have to grab the guy's attention
31:42
in order to stay and potentially get into a relationship with the guys. Yeah,
31:47
and so they're gonna turn up in the way the guys like, which
31:49
is by showing all their bits and their booty hole briand and a bottom.
31:53
Yeah. Meanwhile, the guys with the women and the women's villa know that
31:59
they can't do that because that's essentially a turn off total most women except Paris.
32:04
Yeah, who loves it. But like, if you're going to be
32:07
turning up and wearing a speedo and grinding on my ass, I'm gonna date
32:09
line NBC you and I'm gonna get you out of the villa for fucking sexually
32:15
harassing me. I mean yeah, because you were saying at the girls villa
32:17
when Tajique was working up on Paris, You're like, that is so unattracted.
32:21
I don't think it's attractive at all. Maybe it's my age, How
32:23
don't you think? I mean, I feel like that's gross. I'm like,
32:27
oh, I feel like it's more hot if a guy is like swab
32:30
and is like trying to woo you or ones to talk to you, yeah,
32:35
and ask about your interest. Yeah. So that's why it's more sedate
32:38
at the girls house because they think that guys are trying to give the girls
32:43
what they want. And that's why it's crazy at the guy's house, honestly,
32:49
because the girls are trying to give those guys what they want and they've
32:51
come to the fucking island to fuck. That would makes sense, I guess,
32:52
I guess, But it's just like wow, night and day. I
32:55
mean, the stark difference is crazy. So lots of skanky dancing at the
33:02
guy's villa. Did you notice Mikaela with her fucking thong bikini, Oh my
33:07
god, all the way up her ass, cropping it low in a splits.
33:12
Yeah, onto Hall's face. Yes, she's done that a few times
33:15
where she's done the splits and she's twerking. I'm like, girl, put
33:20
onto his face. Yeah, oh yeah, I'm gonna smell. I remember
33:23
when I was dating, and I'm just like, that would have never occurred
33:27
to me to do the splits onto some guy's face, like on the third
33:30
date. Wouldn't you want him to like you, wouldn't you want to give
33:35
the mystery and like you want him to desire you? Yeah, and you're
33:38
already given it to him, like he's gonna folk you and then he's gonna
33:43
be bored, very bored. If I were one of these singles, my
33:46
strategy would be totally different. Yeah. I would be hanging back. I
33:50
would definitely be having conversations. I would pursue conversations. I would be very
33:54
sweet. I would show my best characteristics, which wouldn't be my tits in
33:59
my ass, And I would be like standing there watching these girls do that,
34:02
Because which girl are you going to bring home to your mama? Right?
34:07
The girl that was twerking on TV that's doing the splits on your face?
34:10
Yea? Or the girl who's got some fucking class in the corner having
34:15
a drink and having conversations with you and talking about what she likes about you
34:17
and how she wants to get to know you more. Yeah, Because there
34:21
ain't nothing wrong with getting freaky in the bedroom. In the privacy year own
34:24
home. But like on TV, I'm like, these girls are we prudes?
34:29
I mean, I just don't feel like we are. I don't feel
34:31
like we are either. I feel like there's a balance, Like I feel
34:34
like you can still be really sexy and hot and desirable without showing your butthole.
34:38
You know what I mean. This is my leftover rate, this is
34:44
my right over ch pretty. I'm just saying no, I totally agree,
34:50
like and that's why I'm just like, maybe it's a different generation, but
34:52
I just feel like it's way too much and that's not going to make a
34:55
guy want to wipe you up. No for gonna you. He's gonna bang
35:00
you, totally absolutely gonna bang you. Yeah, but I don't think he's
35:02
gonna want to wait, he's not gonna want to commit, that's the thing.
35:07
Meanwhile, at the women's villa, we've got a talent show. I
35:09
wish they were puppets. That's how boring this ship was. One of the
35:13
guys, which is Bryce chucks a beer. Yeah. Mike Zappa, the
35:16
booty Klappa, he's the Ai Beard because his name is Mike. Mike Zappa
35:22
the Booty Clappa recites a poem to Caitlin. Is it a rap? They
35:28
called it a rap? Oh, I thought it was a poem. I
35:31
don't know. I can't tell the difference. Taiji lap dances, puts baby
35:36
oil on his body, grinding into Paris, leans down, gives her a
35:40
kiss with tongue reciprocates. They're making out. I'm grossed out. Super her
35:46
lipstick is all over her fucking vase too, so he was like slobbering on
35:51
her face. Taijik ends up winning the talent contest. His prize is to
35:58
cuddle in bad cuddle with Paris that night, and then we see some footage
36:04
of them cuddling and they're making out already making a bang. Oh give him
36:09
a cool year. Oh yeah, pink sticket around make a feel. I
36:22
mean it feels like that's the writing on that punani wall. I mean,
36:24
we better. I'm just saying we better see that next episode. I want
36:29
to see that. I want to see the red light go off. But
36:30
I'm wondering if the men are going to be fucking some of these girls.
36:35
I don't know, because Great has already been asking some of these girls to
36:38
come and cuddle in his bid at night. So I'm like, he's got
36:42
to be fooling around. Yeah, I don't know that any woman is taking
36:45
him up on it, though, I mean, yeah, I wouldn't not
36:46
yet. I think Nafisa will. I think Tammy wants it. But Nafisa
36:51
and Tammy are in this kind of power play to get his attention. Yeah,
36:55
before we get there, because some shit happens between them, we do
36:59
have to talk about Ai Beard. I guess his name is Mike Zappa,
37:01
the booty Klappa. After the talent show, he goes and gets into Caitlin's
37:07
bed. He brings some roses and lies down in her bed. First and
37:10
foremost, I'd be like, what the fuck are you doing? Get out
37:14
of my bed lying your big, sweaty ass body on my bed. Right,
37:17
we've only been talking right, Like, from the footage that he's seen
37:21
of Caitlin and him, it's been very innocent. It hasn't been like tajik,
37:24
no touchmaking out or anything, no kissing. So to even jump from
37:29
that too, I'm going to be in your bed tonight, Yeah, get
37:31
the fucking very presumptuous. So Caitlin comes in and she leaves him there in
37:37
the bed, and she takes a blanket and she goes and sleeps on the
37:40
couch all night, and then he just sleeps in her bed, presumably Like
37:44
what the fuck is that about? The rose in his mouth? Yeah,
37:46
like the swath like he's seducing her. Yeah, I'm like, get the
37:50
fuck out of her bed, Mike, what the fuck are you doing?
37:52
Weird ass beard? She's sleeping on the couch because she doesn't want to ask
37:55
you to get out of your bed, which I can't relate. I'd be
37:59
like, get the fuck out I might be doing, dude, I gotta
38:00
go to bed. Happen, No, go to your bed. Yeah.
38:04
I felt like that was too assertive and a very bad look totally. I'm
38:07
like, you could have won her heart if you played it a little bit
38:10
slower. But he wanted to fuck. He wanted to fuck, and so
38:14
we will see what happens in next episode. Hopefully they cover that too.
38:17
Yeah. So then we go back to the men's villa. We see Robin
38:22
Dez on the cow. She's got her booty all over him, like her
38:27
legs strung over his hips. She's straddling him, grinding on him. Yeah,
38:30
I'm like, am I watching a softcore point. No, I'm like,
38:34
does she got her hand down there or something? She like pressing her
38:37
cookie up against his hard boner. Girl, I'm sorry, raccoons, but
38:42
this is what we saw. We're just reporting very very graphic. She's grinding
38:46
on him. They're making out. Apparently that's the first time that they kissed.
38:51
Yeah, so romantic to the camera. Does is like, well,
38:53
this is the first time, and I want more. And I'm thinking with
38:58
my into ways that she does not like him really, but I don't think
39:04
him on him though. I think maybe it's because I don't like him,
39:07
but I can't see any reason why she would like him. Yeah, I
39:10
mean he seems like he could be sweet. He's immature. Yeah, he's
39:15
young. He's only twenty four. Nobody's immature minded. I've met like people
39:19
who are twenty four to twenty five who have more going for them in terms
39:22
of intellect and being able to be immature person. He's just not that.
39:27
He just is not that. No, I don't think she likes him at
39:30
all. I don't know. I think their bodyline, I think she wants
39:32
to. Okay, well, the way she was she straddled him, yeah,
39:37
on the couch with her legs around him. She's trying to stay and
39:43
she's trying to stay on tempt alway. Oh my god, it's a terrible
39:46
way to do it. Somewhere else on the villa, we have Christopher,
39:49
who again his girlfriend is Marisella, who is our favorite. Christopher is talking
39:52
to Alexius. Yeah, another girl that I had no idea if it exists.
39:58
He actually went on his first date with her. I don't even remember
40:00
her. I really don't. Yeah, they're talking and they are discussing the
40:06
importance of connection. Want want want gets really important that you know, I
40:12
could become friends with the person I'm going to be with. My friends are
40:15
my family. So it sounds like Chris's kind of friend zoning her. It
40:19
seems like it. But maybe he's just stringing her along because he doesn't have
40:22
any other options. That's what I think. I think he's just trying to
40:27
like get on other women's good sides. Because Abby called him a narc right
40:31
in front of everybody, embarrassed him. Yeah, he needs to try and
40:35
find somebody to make himself feel good, because he's not going to feel good
40:37
if none of the women desire him, because he already has Maricella, who
40:43
desires yeah, and pleasured way better by a woman than by him. So
40:47
he's already insecure. Yeah, he's got a big ego on him. He
40:51
does have a big ego. The episode concludes with a fight that happens between
40:55
Tammy and Nafisa. And this was weird because Tammy and Afisa. We're going
41:00
into the bathroom and Nafisa asks Tammy whether she's brushed her teeth? Yeah,
41:06
And that set Tammy off because that's the question. Why would you ask that?
41:09
Yeah, it's not your fucking business. I mean, do you want
41:12
to tell me that my breath is bad and I should have a mint?
41:15
Like? I got your back, get this mint. Yeah, you could
41:17
say it like that, but not be like, did you brush your teeth?
41:21
It's fucking weird. So then Tammy comes out into the bar array or
41:24
something great is out there with a towel over his head, drunk with Tia
41:30
and they're talking, and then Nafisa comes out and it's like, I'm so
41:34
sorry, I didn't mean to come off rude. I wasn't meaning it mean
41:38
blah blah blah, And then a fight ensues with them and they're straight up
41:43
arguing in front of Great. Great just puts the towel over his head and
41:47
he like stares blankly, stares at the ground. He says nothing. He
41:52
doesn't try to break up the fight. Yeah, Nafisa is like, what
41:55
is your problem? I honestly wasn't trying to hurt your feelings. I was
41:59
just trying to ask a question. I'm trying to help. Tammy's like,
42:01
I don't need your help. You're fucking fake. Tia starts crying because she
42:06
begins to interject on Tammy's behalf. Yeah, the FISA, Maybe you just
42:09
don't understand how you come across and if he says like, I'm not even
42:12
talking to you, why are you inserting your shit into this conversation. Tia
42:16
then starts to cry yeah loudly to victimize herself in front of Great because she's
42:22
looking for someone, anyone that she can attach to like a barnacle on the
42:25
butt of a whale totally, so she's hoping Great will have some kind of
42:29
sympathy for her. So she's crying louder and louder. He's still not looking
42:32
up from the floor, he's not saying a damn word. He's literally just
42:37
taking it there, I'm like, why are you even there? Why didn't
42:38
you just get up and leave? I don't know. And then the Fisa
42:42
is like, I'm not here for none, y'all. Yeah, I'm here
42:45
for me and to make a connection to the camera. In her confessional,
42:50
she's like, they're calling me a mean girl because I am a mean girl,
42:52
which is what Marjorie said right before she was eliminated. If maybe Marjorie
42:57
was onto something there, Maybe nobody really likes Fisa. Maybe Nafisa is very
43:01
single minded in her pursuit of great and I don't fault her for that,
43:06
but maybe she's rubbing people the wrong way. Yeah, but maybe this is
43:09
all just manufactured drama too, because this was a boring ass episode and they
43:14
needed to have something to fill. But I'm just like, I don't want
43:16
to see catfights between the singles. I want to see the destruction of these
43:22
relationships. That's what I want to see, right. I want to see
43:25
these ex's cheating on each other, because that's what I came here for.
43:29
Station Island. Yeah, you know what I mean again, early days,
43:32
it's only the fourth episode. Yeah, we're setting up relationships, but I
43:37
do want a little bit more. Yeah, and so I'm hoping if Paris
43:42
is really going to bone Taiji. I think she totally is. I'm open
43:45
for that red light to go off in the men's villa, which is going
43:47
to set them all off. Yeah, I can't wait. And then they're
43:51
going to show that on the next Bonfire, of course. I can't wait.
43:55
And then I'm waiting for Haul to trip and fall in side of Michaela's
44:00
uterus. We know that's coming too or Great, it could be great.
44:05
Who is the first person to have some kind of a sexual encounter, because
44:07
I think he really really wants one. Well, and he said this episode,
44:10
he's like, I'm just gonna change my mindset to that I'm single and
44:14
I'm gonna forget about Paris. So he's totally looking to Blue. Yeah,
44:17
he's looking to fuck. I just don't know who it's going to be.
44:20
I think the reason to Hammy and Nafisa we're fighting was because they're both fighting
44:23
for Great. Yeah, they both want to primary attention. But for Great,
44:27
I think it's just like the first one and then the next one and
44:30
then the next one. He's just told a party does not really care about
44:34
these girls. Nope, so I want to start seeing some of that.
44:37
I want to start seeing the reactions at the bonfires. I want to see
44:40
Vanessa lose her mind seeing Rob making out with Dez on the couch soft porn
44:47
style girl. Oh my god, Vanessa is going to freak the fuck out.
44:51
Nobody wants Yes, nobody wants to make out with you. Nobody wants
44:55
you and your stinky booty. No, thank you? Stay Yeah it dude
45:00
for bank face. Yeah, Jesus Christ. And she's always the one announcing
45:05
shit. I know, she's always the one organizing shit, like she's the
45:08
villa mother. Yeah, like stop, You're not the fucking leader of this
45:13
crew. Nobody likes you. Nobody likes you, especially reality TV crint.
45:16
Yeah, no, not at all. So any other final thoughts about Temptation
45:22
Island. I mean, it's a slow start. I can see why I
45:25
can get juicy, why I can get crazy. So I'm excited to see
45:29
how this season unfolds. I was a little bored this episode for sure too,
45:34
but I'm hoping that it picks up. Maybe this one was just like
45:36
a badly edited episode. Yeah, I hope it's picking up. Two.
45:38
Yeah, I would like to go back and watch the first season of the
45:45
new clump of seasons because they had one again back in the odds, they
45:47
had oh yeah, or two episodes seasons of Temptation Island. But like the
45:52
first season maybe five years ago, was lit really and the season after that
45:57
was really good too. So just to kind of compare and contrast between those
46:02
seasons and the quality of this season, I'm just hoping it picks up.
46:06
Yeah, I'm hoping so too. And let us know, you guys,
46:08
if we should also add on here the Big D if we should watch that
46:13
and pair it up with Temptation Good. Maybe it's good, Maybe it is
46:15
good. Yeah, we want to know what you guys think. Um,
46:19
let us know again. You guys can go to Instagram. We are reality
46:22
TV Cringe. You can send a DM to be ATRISS. She will read
46:24
the DM and take your counsel under advisement. Yeah. And you can also
46:30
message us on Patreon. Yeah, because don't forget that we have that,
46:32
we have extra content there. They can send us messages, they can send
46:36
us miss they can leave comments and send us messages. Oh my god,
46:38
they've got direct access. They have direct access to you. They probably have
46:43
priority too, because they definitely vi ip raccoons. Yes, and they get
46:46
to listen to this episode a day early. Also a free ad free baby,
46:51
right. Is there anything else that we need to say to these raccoons
46:53
before we go? Beatriss? Well, if you like this podcast, please
46:57
make sure you're leaving us a five star, hellowing review on your favorite podcast
47:01
platform. It really helps us grow. Thank you so much, and until
47:05
next time, Pepsine