Latest / Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha / Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just - The Gift of an Unsettled Soul: Humility and Growth 4.29.26

Transcript

Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just - The Gift of an Unsettled Soul: Humility and Growth 4.29.26 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

• 0:01
  Talking about how a person runs a risk of thinking that they
• 0:06
  know a lot and acting intelligent and that creates
• 0:10
  mistakes and this and the distraction and it ruins your
• 0:14
  mode. In other words, the way to be
• 0:15
  humble as we say yes, it is to be a learner.
• 0:18
  A learner means someone is continuously saying I have more
• 0:21
  to go, more to know. I don't know it all yet.
• 0:24
  And that's as he brings from this line.
• 0:28
  What's a wise man? Someone learns from every person
• 0:33
  that you would think is almost the opposite.
• 0:35
  A wise man does not need to learn from other people.
• 0:38
  He's got the wisdom within himself.
• 0:40
  No, a wise man is somebody who's actually being smart enough to
• 0:46
  realize just how much knowledge there is out there.
• 0:50
  That's how much information he can absorb and how much he can
• 0:53
  grow and what he can accomplish if he's willing to look around,
• 0:57
  right, You could have someone who thinks he knows a lot.
• 0:59
  He's not going to learn from his elders.
• 1:01
  He's not going to learn from the experience.
• 1:03
  He's not going to learn from the rabbis because whatever they
• 1:05
  say, anything he knows by all Amendment Qaladam is literally
• 1:09
  the opposite. Qaladam means you look at a
• 1:11
  random person who doesn't seem to be a big deal, a simple
• 1:16
  person. If there's a thing called a
• 1:17
  simple person and there's what you can learn from a similar
• 1:20
  person, not an evil person, that's a different story.
• 1:22
  For regular fine people who don't seem to be a big deal,
• 1:26
  there is something to learn from everybody.
• 1:28
  How he is as a husband, he's special.
• 1:30
  What he is, whenever he talks to people, the way he likes to make
• 1:33
  people feel good, he's the good morning guy.
• 1:35
  He's the person who does something special.
• 1:38
  And that every person that you know of that's a decent person
• 1:41
  has a trait that makes him special.
• 1:43
  And all it takes is a little analysis, a little bit looking
• 1:47
  around, the ability to say they have something, they have
• 1:51
  something, they have something, they have information if you
• 1:54
  have them, all of them. Hello, Madam.
• 1:56
  You call Adam. Someone learns from everybody.
• 1:59
  And you know what you could even say you can learn from Actually,
• 2:03
  it sounds crazy. You can learn from those who are
• 2:08
  not good people. How so?
• 2:10
  We said a couple weeks ago that there are people out there.
• 2:14
  You said it was during pass off time and they asked why do we
• 2:17
  bring already learned so much about Pardo's craziness, Pardo's
• 2:22
  stubbornness when he doesn't stop and he continues to fight
• 2:25
  us even though he's getting played and played to play.
• 2:28
  Now we know it's telling us how Hashem hard in his heart, but we
• 2:31
  saw another shot, which is man is supposed to learn something
• 2:34
  from the determination of those who went against us.
• 2:39
  They're so determined, they're so crazy.
• 2:42
  Even them you can learn from. There's always what to learn out
• 2:45
  there in the world, and you learn to, right?
• 2:48
  It's not good. I mean it.
• 2:49
  That's learning a good thing from a bad person.
• 2:50
  That's fair, absolutely. You can even learn a strong
• 2:53
  trait from a bad person, which you use in a bad way.
• 2:57
  But it's something to learn from.
• 2:58
  You should be studying all day long.
• 3:01
  Your eyes should be open. You should be looking around
• 3:04
  whenever you go to the office, whenever you walk the streets in
• 3:06
  New York, literally whenever you go to shul, whenever you're in a
• 3:10
  store, wherever you may be. There's something to learn from
• 3:13
  somebody. And if you're willing to do so,
• 3:16
  that's only doable if you're humble enough to have your eyes
• 3:19
  open. If you're not humble and your
• 3:22
  eyes are closed. But yesterday we said you have
• 3:24
  to be a learner. Today we're telling you have to
• 3:26
  be someone who realizes that the school of learning is the entire
• 3:30
  world. Everything you watch, everything
• 3:32
  you see, everything you experience, everything you
• 3:34
  participate in, everyone you're around, they're all teaching you
• 3:37
  something. There's dedication here and the
• 3:39
  dedication there, and it's a donation year.
• 3:41
  And there's a person who's generous over there is a person
• 3:44
  who has a good heart, a person who's stubborn, a person who's
• 3:47
  very strong, a person who won't give up is all that.
• 3:51
  And if you're willing to learn, that's going to make you grow,
• 3:54
  so long as you're humble to do so.
• 4:04
  The wise person heeds counsel. Now, we've said this before.
• 4:10
  I think it's right important. Even if the person providing the
• 4:14
  counsel might not be so smart, the one who was giving you
• 4:17
  advice might not be a genius. Now there's a risk of them
• 4:20
  giving you bad advice. It's a different story.
• 4:23
  But if people tell you comments, people tell you advice.
• 4:27
  I know personally, some of the biggest changes in my life came
• 4:30
  from a comment from somebody who didn't even know what they were
• 4:33
  saying, right? And it went into my mind and I
• 4:37
  registered it, and then I thought about it and it played
• 4:40
  out in a certain way and I followed it.
• 4:42
  Hashem provides for you advisors who may not be the biggest
• 4:47
  geniuses in their own life, who may not be the smartest people,
• 4:51
  but they're telling you something and you have to have a
• 4:53
  filter, no question. You have to have a filter that
• 4:55
  looks at these things and says I'm going to take that or take
• 4:58
  that grain of salt. I don't know.
• 4:59
  I'm going to take everything. But there is something called
• 5:02
  endless advisors also at the same time.
• 5:05
  So now all are you learning your school of, of information is
• 5:08
  coming from the whole world. Those who tell you the things,
• 5:11
  you should take them and don't just ignore them.
• 5:14
  Take them. Put them into the system.
• 5:17
  See if you can ever accept or deny, but at least take them.
• 5:21
  That's part of the same level of humility.
• 5:23
  And a person, if he's open to learning from everybody and he's
• 5:27
  open to realizing information from all these different places
• 5:30
  and advice from all these different places, he can become
• 5:33
  something special with all this knowledge.
• 5:35
  You know what you need behind all this humility?
• 5:38
  The humility to be open to listen to me.
• 5:40
  I should say something good. Now that's clear.
• 5:45
  Now the issue is people are not humble enough for this.
• 5:49
  What makes a person not humble? What destroys a naturally good
• 5:55
  guy and a guy who has a good upbringing takes him away from
• 5:59
  being humble? The first thing is being
• 6:02
  satisfied, being settled, not your way is is is is someone who
• 6:10
  deflects for sure. But the way people are not
• 6:13
  humble, he says in general is because they're settled.
• 6:16
  If someone is settled, it's not a negative guy going to deal
• 6:19
  with good people, good people, not evil at all.
• 6:22
  Why would they not be willing to be humble, to absorb, taking
• 6:25
  information, taking advice to learn from others, being
• 6:29
  settled, the house being settled, destroy the ability to
• 6:33
  earn advice. No, no will to grow.
• 6:35
  That's it. If a person is settled, a person
• 6:38
  is satisfied, call it. They have what they need.
• 6:41
  They're not looking for more. They're not open to grow.
• 6:44
  They're not open to grow. You won't even be interested in
• 6:47
  hearing the advises and learning from other people of being a
• 6:50
  learner. As I said yesterday, none of
• 6:52
  that will be on the table because you're sitting right
• 6:55
  here. You're thrilled with right here.
• 6:57
  Why don't want to search for more?
• 6:58
  The only way people actually develop is across the board, the
• 7:02
  only people develop. Step one is the thrust of
• 7:05
  development. Before even having humility, you
• 7:08
  need to have that thrust of development.
• 7:10
  So let's see, ah, Mafsidi Amidazot, who are the boy,
• 7:16
  having a lot of Sevilla and being satiated with Travolta
• 7:21
  Alamazi, with the goodness of this world.
• 7:24
  If you're settled in, the goodness of the growth, whatever
• 7:26
  it may be, makes you feel settled.
• 7:28
  You are not looking for more. You won't be open to humility.
• 7:33
  So it's a funny thing, 'cause humility is a good
• 7:34
  characterization, soft character, right?
• 7:37
  Not from a good place. Yet.
• 7:39
  At its core, it doesn't come naturally.
• 7:42
  It comes from a person who wants more, and he realizes my best
• 7:47
  pathway to more is by being a learner, by being open to
• 7:51
  information, by being acceptance of advice, all that.
• 7:54
  But he needs step one to one more.
• 7:57
  The guy who's settled, he won't even have the door open to that.
• 8:02
  Humility. Follow this point.
• 8:04
  Humility is a solid character trait.
• 8:06
  You would think it comes from a good place.
• 8:07
  It does. But beforehand, underlying the
• 8:10
  foundation of that requires that a person has a need.
• 8:16
  And because he has that need, he's looking for more.
• 8:19
  And now he has the door open for the advice.
• 8:21
  Now he has the door open for the Hello Man, Nicola Adam, only
• 8:24
  because he has that need. It's very important.
• 8:28
  Without the need, it's not going to happen.
• 8:31
  Without that feeling of needing more, he feels settled.
• 8:35
  He doesn't even look for more. He might be a great person at
• 8:38
  heart. He might be the kind that you
• 8:40
  would say that guy should be humble.
• 8:42
  He has the make up of being humble.
• 8:43
  He's a soft guy. He's a good guy.
• 8:45
  He's a thoughtful person. He wants to be humble.
• 8:47
  He won't be there 'cause without having needs, you will not
• 8:52
  develop humanity, because without looking out there for
• 8:55
  more, you won't be able to be opened to hear from others.
• 9:00
  So the number one thing underlying item is a person
• 9:05
  needs to be hungry. And we're all able to be hungry
• 9:07
  because none of us have enough in that sense.
• 9:10
  None of us are settled in that sense.
• 9:12
  The way the world today works, it's an unsettled existence.
• 9:16
  So no matter how much a person has, they have a sense they have
• 9:20
  an ability to say there's more out there.
• 9:22
  That's a good thing. It might sound like a hungry
• 9:25
  thing or an unhappy thing or an unsettled thing in this area.
• 9:29
  It's a good thing because it opens your eyes to learn more.
• 9:32
  If my kids are the best kids possible, am I going to be
• 9:36
  learning how to be a father if my marriage is golden?
• 9:41
  And every day you just, you know, what do they call it?
• 9:43
  Peaches and roses. What do they call it?
• 9:45
  Peaches and cream, Peaches and cream, whatever it may be.
• 9:48
  Then am I going to learn a little more about how marriage
• 9:51
  should work? Am I going to be open to the
• 9:53
  idea that I need to be better, right, and my learning is
• 9:56
  perfect? Am I going to be open to, you
• 9:58
  know, being taught how to learn if my character's golden is, you
• 10:03
  know, literally perfection? I'm not going to be open to
• 10:06
  copying other people and learning with class A's and what
• 10:09
  proper decorum is. I'm not going to learn because I
• 10:12
  got it already. So being in a good spot is
• 10:14
  actually being in a bad spot. The more seldom person is, the
• 10:17
  more actually at risk they are. That's how far it goes.
• 10:20
  Saying to yourself that you're good is actually in your way.
• 10:25
  Say to yourself that you're done.
• 10:26
  You never want to be done, you never want to be settled.
• 10:30
  You never want to be close to learning.
• 10:32
  You want to be climbing, and the only way you're climbing is if
• 10:35
  you open for more. How's that possible?
• 10:38
  By realizing I'm not there yet. If you're not there yet, you're
• 10:42
  not settled, Golden. That's the position that we all
• 10:46
  like security. We all like being settled.
• 10:48
  We all say to ourselves, if only I never have to worry about
• 10:52
  another thing again, never have to worry about my children.
• 10:55
  That's why my grandchildren never have to worry about
• 10:57
  health, never have to worry about the money I make with the
• 11:00
  money coming in. All that, right?
• 11:02
  I don't want to think about the next thing yet You look alike.
• 11:07
  It's the most unsettled existence in the world, right?
• 11:12
  Every season brings out a new thing, Every kid brings out a
• 11:14
  new thing, every grandchild brings out a new thing, every
• 11:17
  year a new thing. And you live your life during
• 11:20
  the current political structure. Every minute there's a swing.
• 11:26
  So life feels very unsettled. And in our minds, that's
• 11:29
  upsetting. I wish you could be calm.
• 11:31
  I wish you could be rolling. You do, and you should.
• 11:34
  But at the same time, this unsettled state is a state that
• 11:38
  means the doors always open for more.
• 11:40
  You're always looking at figuring things out.
• 11:43
  If you're constantly in a figuring out situation and you
• 11:46
  don't realize that that means you're constantly in a growing
• 11:49
  situation. They go hand in hand.
• 11:51
  The more you're figuring things out, the more you're saying, I
• 11:53
  wish my kids could just have one solid school year.
• 11:57
  Have to have, OK, the sun is good.
• 11:59
  Now the daughter has a problem. The daughter I figured out now
• 12:02
  camp is complicated, right? It's a little like this.
• 12:05
  Everyone, every parent has this issue.
• 12:07
  It never stops. Grandparents, same thing, right?
• 12:11
  In any area. Business, same thing.
• 12:13
  You talk to people, it's able right now that's dealing with
• 12:16
  the holiday season. So those on to the next season
• 12:18
  and the next season, that's the way it works.
• 12:21
  And they can't breathe, right? That's true.
• 12:24
  But that's a gift. The gift is you're hungry
• 12:27
  because of that, you're open to learn more because of that only
• 12:30
  because you're unsettled. If you wouldn't be told right
• 12:33
  now, I have a check for you. It's worth $30 million.
• 12:39
  You put it in the bank, it grows interests naturally.
• 12:43
  It raise an interest. It can pay off all your bills,
• 12:46
  you know, do you? Fine.
• 12:47
  You good to go. You won't have an appetite for
• 12:50
  more money. It's settled.
• 12:52
  It would be a dream come true, no question about it.
• 12:54
  It would also be the kiss of whatever you want to call it,
• 12:58
  the kiss of goodbye, because it does.
• 13:00
  There is no growth in that person.
• 13:01
  I'm talking about a person who's a good person.
• 13:03
  Doesn't make a difference. If you don't have that unsettled
• 13:07
  state, you don't have a thirst. You don't have a door open.
• 13:10
  Without a door open, you don't have the ear to learn.
• 13:13
  The best state we can be in is in the current state that we're
• 13:17
  in right now. This sort of, I'm here, but I
• 13:21
  have no idea how next year is going to work.
• 13:23
  I don't know, because I got the kids till the spring, all right?
• 13:27
  I still got to get them to the finish line.
• 13:29
  I understand. But I'm there.
• 13:30
  I'm almost there. I got the business to this
• 13:33
  point, all right, Who knows what the next situation's going to
• 13:35
  bring. But I I feel OK about the common
• 13:37
  situation. That is the state that we're all
• 13:40
  supposed to be in. And you look at you say, you
• 13:42
  say, I know there's certain people out there.
• 13:45
  Everyone, you know, one way or another is in that state.
• 13:48
  The guy can be worth literally $100 million.
• 13:51
  He's in that state. He doesn't know what the model
• 13:53
  is going to bring and he's nervous about the model.
• 13:55
  He can be the most successful person out of here.
• 13:58
  He could have kids that are golden.
• 14:00
  He's in that state. Hashem created the world in a
• 14:03
  way that you're always in an unsettled state.
• 14:06
  You know why? Because unsettled means open for
• 14:10
  more. Open for more means growth.
• 14:12
  That's it. And you'll never learn without
• 14:14
  being unsettled. You never develop without being
• 14:17
  unsure. And a more person accepts that
• 14:20
  he's not going to turn unsettled into settled.
• 14:22
  Then he's then he's deleting the purpose.
• 14:24
  No, he's going to be OK with being unsettled because for him,
• 14:28
  that's the best thing. That's all you have to tell
• 14:30
  yourself. Me being in a position that I do
• 14:32
  not know what my industry is going to look like in a year
• 14:34
  from now, the best thing for me, best thing.
• 14:39
  That's so upsetting. It would be upsetting if the
• 14:41
  last 20 years didn't work out, but they did.
• 14:43
  So it's not upsetting, it's unsettling.
• 14:45
  Unsettling is golden for you because that means you're going
• 14:48
  to be thirsty, you're going to be open, and you will learn.
• 14:52
  That's these tongue. All right, That's the concept.