Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / How to defeat a narcissist

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How to defeat a narcissist · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So come on here y'all, come on in here.
• 0:02
  How do you defeat a narcissist is a question that is just in my
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  inbox. In my support groups, people ask
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  me one-on-one. I get this question all the
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  time. In some way, shape or form.
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  How do you get rid of a narcissist?
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  How do you defeat a narcissist? How do you herd A narcissist?
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  How do you revenge on a narcissist?
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  It's all coupled together in defeat, right?
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  You want to defeat him? How do you torture A narcissist?
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  Lee, tell me. Lee, you are diagnosed
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  narcissist. Tell me how to torture my
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  narcissist. The ex.
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  I'm tired of his ass and I want to hurt him.
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  I want to hurt him badly. I want to hurt him badly.
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  Badly. Oh, I keep thinking stuff like
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  that, but that's what we're talking about today.
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  Y'all how to defeat a narcissist.
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  And it's like when I tell this to people and it crosses their
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  minds, people, oh, how to hurt a narcissist or whatever.
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  Y'all, when I talk to people about this, one of the things
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  that they that crosses their minds is like, 'cause y'all so
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  highly empathetic, you'll say, well, Lee, I don't want to hurt
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  them, but we how like nobody should hurt anybody.
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  I'm a pacifist. Like, yeah, when we say defeat,
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  we're not talking about you them bending, bending the knee and
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  you putting your damn foot on their shoulder and flexing on
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  them. We're not talking about that
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  right there, y'all? That's not what we're talking
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  about when I say how to defeat a narcissist.
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  It's how to get them out of your life, how to put them down, how
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  to get them to leave you the hell alone, all of that
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  together. Like how did you?
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  How do you? What's the most efficient way of
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  making this happen and protecting yourself at the same
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  time? So, so protecting yourself is
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  going to be the first thing that comes to mind.
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  You have to be safe, y'all, regardless of what I say next,
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  you have to be safe, as safe as humanly possible, because
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  narcissistic people are not going to prioritize your safety.
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  They're going to prioritize their safety, their life, their
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  reputation, their money, how they all of this stuff dim, dim,
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  dim, me, me, me. It's not like I'm saying me, me,
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  me, me, me. That right there.
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  That's what they're going to do. So how do you defeat a
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  narcissist? Let's let's get it, let's get
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  into it. But right now, the first way I
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  have down right here, y'all is to match their energy.
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  Oh, I know that get get some of y'all hype.
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  Don't get some of y'all hype. Didn't it you, when I say
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  matching their energy, you treat them the same way that they're
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  treating you. Of course, use discretion.
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  User discretion is advice. Use discretion because some of
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  these people are crazy as hell, right?
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  Some of them have lost their mind.
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  You want to be safe, but match their energy.
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  If they're doing something that you do it back to them.
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  They hate that they hate you. They hate when you treat them
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  the same way that they're treating you.
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  They can't stand it and it doesn't make sense.
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  They're just like, hey, I just did the same thing you did.
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  Why am I in trouble? Well, because when I did it, I
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  came. I did it from a place of love,
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  right? And you did it.
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  You did not hurt me. That's why I was different.
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  Now, when I say match their energy, y'all, you don't want to
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  get to the point where you're matching their energy and you're
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  sacrificing your morality or your ethics or what not.
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  You, you don't want to get to the point where you're
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  sacrificing your own identity to match their energy or to get
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  back at them because that happens to so many people.
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  So many people get into these relationship spaces and you saw
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  they started to sacrifice themselves in order to make this
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  narcissist, in order to get back at the narcissist, right?
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  There are so many people who do that you sacrifice your own
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  happiness. You sacrifice your own, your own
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  like authenticity or whatever to match their energy.
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  What I mean by that is like you cheat back.
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  Cheating back is the simplest thing, right?
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  If you cheat back on them to match their energy and you're
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  not normally a cheater, you're normally a good person.
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  You're normally a person with morals and dignity.
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  Now you're cheating. How does it make you feel?
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  You see what I'm saying? How does that make you feel?
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  Right now that you're cheating, you are here cheating, getting
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  your cheeks clapped or clapping somebody else's cheeks because
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  your partner did the same thing to you.
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  Now I know some people are here, there's the city girls or
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  whatever they'll tell you like cheat back on their cheat back,
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  cheat back your homeboys. Hey man, go.
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  You got to cheat back bro, I know that.
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  But you have to withstand their peer pressure because you don't
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  want to. You don't want to question your
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  morality. Imagine cheating back, getting
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  your cheeks clap and then it's laying over there feeling bad
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  and feeling guilty. I just feel so bad.
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  It's not normally me. You see what I'm saying?
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  Now you question. Now you've done something to
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  question your own morality to get back at them.
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  So when you match their energy within reason, that's how you
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  defeat them. The second way, y'all I have is
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  stop reacting to them. Stop giving them the reaction
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  that they're seeking. Sometimes narcissistic people
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  are just trying to trigger you on purpose.
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  That's their goal. They want to set you off.
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  They want you to be angry as hell.
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  They want you to react and yell and scream and throw stuff at
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  them. They want you to start crying.
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  They want you to scream and pull your hair out.
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  They want you to threaten to harm yourself because some
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  people, some of y'all be doing that.
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  You get to the point where you're you're hurting, you're
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  yelling, you're screaming. You get the point where you
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  think about hurting yourself because of what they're saying
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  and what they're doing. This happens.
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  So you have to practice that, enter that, that enters in.
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  You got to do some goose, whatever it takes to stop
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  reacting to them. Doing some goose FRA bars, Gray
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  rocking, whatever it takes. You have to do that in order to
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  protect yourself. Goose FRA BA.
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  What did Martin Lawrence and him say in bad Boys?
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  What would they say? Woo sah?
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  Yeah, woo sah. It's goose FRA BA or woo sah.
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  Whatever you on. Pull your earlobe.
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  Woo sah. Whatever it takes in these
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  spaces, you need to do it. You probably need to do it.
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  You probably need to need to take advantage of it right here
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  in order to protect yourself. So stop giving them the
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  reactions. Practice Gray rocky, you know,
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  yellow rocky, whatever it takes, take a deep breath.
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  You know, sometimes they're going to intentionally try to
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  set you off, so you want to get in front of that.
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  You want to get ahead of that and stop that if possible.
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  The next thing I have on here, stop giving them supply.
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  You have to stop giving them narcissistic supply.
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  Whatever it is, whatever that they are getting from you, you
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  have to be. You have to cut it off.
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  You have to cut it off and you have to cut it out.
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  Whatever they are doing to you or getting from you, you have to
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  be able to cut it off for good. Because if you don't, this stuff
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  will ruin your life. They will ruin your damn life.
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  They will drain your life forces.
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  So where they, like figure out what type of supply, what type
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  of validation that they're getting from you.
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  They're getting something from you, Lee.
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  They're not getting anything from me.
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  They're getting something from you.
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  You have to figure it out. It could be money, it could be
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  your body, it could be the bedroom stuff.
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  It could be just feel like they're you belong to them.
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  It could be the emotional validation.
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  It could be just you look good. You might just look good.
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  You might just be an attractive person that they just want to
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  have around them to feel good about themselves.
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  Whatever it is, stop giving them.
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  Stop giving them narcissistic supply.
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  Stop validating them. If they're so used to you doing
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  everything for them and just stroking their ego, you might
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  have to stop stroking their ego. You see what I'm saying?
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  Cut off the supply, stop validating them in some way,
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  shape or form in order to defeat them in order to take your power
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  back from a narcissist, right. The next thing I got y'all and
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  Doctor Romney, I think she disagrees with this right here.
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  She, I think she actually seen one of her videos.
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  She said my I put in order to defeat a narcissist, you have to
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  be able to set boundaries. Now, Doctor Romney said
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  boundaries are useless against narcissists and I agree with
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  that. I think she said they're
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  useless. She's like, narcissists don't
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  respect boundaries because they don't, they don't, they do not
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  respect boundaries. So you have to set boundaries
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  early on. It's y'all, It's very hard to
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  set a boundary after they've already been running over top of
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  you for years, after they've already disrespected boundaries.
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  Every, every, every single boundary that you've set over
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  the last 10 years, they've disrespected or or punted or
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  kicked to the side, kicked to the curb.
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  Every boundary that you try to set, they've done that to, it's
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  going to be very difficult to set a new boundary.
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  You something that's going to be very difficult to start setting
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  boundaries later on. So set them early.
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  And if you're able to set a boundary later on, you have to
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  be able to enforce it. Don't just set a boundary and
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  let them run over top of it because they won't, they won't
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  respect it. They don't respect you.
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  If they you set a boundary and they immediately try to
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  disrespect the boundary. You have to find a way to
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  enforce it. I don't know how you do that,
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  but you have to find a way to enforce it, right?
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  You have to find a way to enforce said boundary, be it
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  leaving, be it doing something, whatever it is.
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  You have to be able to enforce said boundary.
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  You have to be able to cut contact.
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  If that's if that's if that's in for enforcement.
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  Looks like that's what you have to do because they're not going
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  to respect you if you don't do it.
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  Like they're like they don't get mad at him if you said about if
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  you're, if you're not accustomed to setting boundaries and
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  they're not accustomed to you setting boundaries, they're
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  going to be mad as hell at you when you start setting them.
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  What the hell are you talking about?
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  Who did who? Why are you saying this to me?
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  What you told me? No, what the hell?
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  Who are you talking to? You'll tell you'll tell me no,
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  I'll pay the mirror. Be careful of course, cuz
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  setting boundaries could set them off.
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  And how does that sound? They think about how that sound
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  right there. I told you you have to be
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  careful setting boundaries because boundaries was setting
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  boundaries will set them off. What the hell does that sound
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  like? How does that sound that you
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  have to be careful because they they're going to get pissed off
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  at you. How does that sound?
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  That's crazy as hell. That's insane that's insane.
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  It really is so that's but that's something to think about
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  right there. There really is truly something
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  to think about setting boundaries.
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  And the last thing I have on here, y'all, in order to defeat
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  a narcissist, you have to have some type of leverage.
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  So #4 and #5 can kind of go together, right?
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  Because in order to enforce those boundaries, you have to
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  have some type of leverage. You have to have some type of
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  leverage in order to defeat a narcissist.
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  Well, Lee, what's leverage look like leverage is something to
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  get them to move, right? Leverage is taking that big,
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  that little stick in a in a rock and moving the boulder.
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  What can you, what's your stick and what's your rock?
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  Sometimes the leverage is access to you.
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  They do something to disrespect your boundaries.
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  You have to be able to enforce that boundary by cutting off
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  access to you. Don't sleep with them.
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  If you say, hey, don't come home smelling like somebody else and
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  I'm not or I'm not going to sleep with you and they come
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  home smelling like literally like somebody else's perfume or
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  Cologne and then you sleep with them.
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  Why would they eat? Why?
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  Why would they respect anything you have to say?
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  Of course, I understand that sometimes they get aggressive,
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  they get abusive and they take it, but sometimes you got to you
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  still protect yourself. Y'all be safe as possible, but
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  you have to get some type of leverage.
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  Leverage could be access to you. Leverage could be access to your
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  money, your finances, your house, your living situation.
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  Leverage could be access to a job or your your circle of
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  influence. Leverage could be you exposing
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  them. You have sometimes leverages you
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  having the ability to expose them, you getting documentation,
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  you recording them, you having visual evidence or or audio
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  evidence or proof. Of course, watch with whatever
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  state or country you make sure you know the laws before your
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  core people because people how some of these laws are that says
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  this is something to think about right there.
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  Get some type of leverage to in order to get to the move.
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  That's how you defeat them. Yeah, of course, going no
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  contact, the different ways like that, you heard about going no
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  contact is the way to defeat a narcissist.
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  But again, some of them lose their damn minds When you got no
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  contact. We're not when you're not giving
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  them the reactions, we're not, you know, you're not reacting to
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  them, but you're not saying the stuff that they normally want
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  you to expect you to say. You can win.
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  You can defeat them. Anyways, y'all, it's it got hot
• 12:01
  in here. I got an all black and a Black
• 12:03
  Hat on a black scarf and a black shirt.
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  I got to got to wrap this thing up.
• 12:06
  Y'all mental illness.net for all things Lee Hammock.
• 12:11
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• 12:13
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• 12:16
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• 12:18
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• 12:20
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• 12:24
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• 12:27
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• 12:46
  already love y'all. I'm grateful for you.
• 12:49
  Hit the subscribe button and I'm out.
• 12:51
  Peace, oh peace.