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July 8 - Freedom That Opens Outward · The Daily Ripples Podcast

0:04
Hey guys, it's July 8th and I got Parrish up here.
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He's host and I'm co-host.
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And today is freedom that opens outward.
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The stone.
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Freedom grows when I move out of myself and toward God and others.
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Ripple One Practical.
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Today I will look for ways to be useful instead of self-focused.
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I will not stay trapped in my own thoughts and concerns.
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Even small acts of service help shift my perspective and bring clarity.
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Ripple to spiritual.
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The Father works in me through humility.
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Jesus shows me a life poured out of others for others.
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The Holy Spirit helps me step aside outside of myself and live with purpose.
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As I surrender what blocks me, I find a deeper freedom,
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One that allows me to live clean, useful, and at peace in God's hands.
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When I read this, I think about what is of use in God's hands and all this stuff.
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And on page 124 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, it says,
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Henry Ford once made a wise remark to the effect that experience is the thing of supreme value in life.
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that is truly only if one is willing to turn the past to good account.
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We grow by our willingness to face and rectify errors and convert them into assets.
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The alcoholic's past thus becomes the principal asset of the family,
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and frequently it is almost the only one.
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A little bit down in that paragraph, it says,
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Clean to the thought that in God's hands the dark past is the greatest possession you have.
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The key, I think key's a big word, right?
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That's an important thing.
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The key to life and happiness for others.
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With it, you can avert death and misery for them.
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So when I think about that and I think about my life today,
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I might have talked a little bit about this before,
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but my dad, man, he was a good dude.
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Like, you know, I never heard a bad thing talked about my dad.
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Besides for me, when I was trying to, you know, present something to somebody and make
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him look bad because I wouldn't want to look bad myself, but it was always me.
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And so I think about that.
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And, you know, my dad had a very, uh, he helped a lot of people in his life and didn't have
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to go through these tragic things and all these, you know, hurt all these people and be this
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person.
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But for me, man, you know, I, I, I came to this place and, you know, I had, I did that
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stuff.
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But God put me in a position to be able to be in service to other people through all the things I put myself through that were self-made.
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I did that.
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And so on page 18, it kind of reflects that as well.
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It says, and this is like in special letters too, right?
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The squiggly letters.
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It says, but the ex-problem drinker.
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So I'm not a problem drinker anymore.
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And I think it might hurt some people's feelings, but it says ex-problem drinker, right?
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Because everybody's like, I'm a bad guy.
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Anyways.
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But anyways, who has found this solution,
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who is promptly armed with facts about himself.
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Why am I promptly armed with facts about myself?
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Probably because I went through this work.
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Can generally win the entire confidence of another alcoholic in a few hours.
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That's a long time.
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A few hours?
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Man, you give me 10, 20 minutes with a dude,
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and, you know, man, we come to some understanding
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that I know what I'm talking about.
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Until such an understanding is reached, little or nothing can be accomplished.
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And I think the next sentence is important, too, because it talks about this love and how we be of service.
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That the man who's making the approach, so I'm making the approach, has had the same difficulty in that he obviously knows what he is talking about.
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That his whole department shouts to the new prospect that he is a man with a real answer.
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I didn't think I was supposed to have any answers.
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That he has no attitude of holier than thou, nothing whatever except the sincere desire to be helpful.
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That there are no fees to pay, no access to grind, no people to please.
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And I'm not here to please people, man.
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I'm here to help God's kids.
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No lectures to be endured.
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And maybe sometimes I come off as a lecturer because I'm reading out of the book so much, but I'm not trying to be because I found this is where the answer is, Paris.
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These are the conditions we found most effective.
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After such an approach, here's that word again.
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I have in one of my books, everywhere it says approach, I have highlighted in orange.
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After such an approach, many may take up their beds and walk again.
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That's a lot of cool stuff.
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But anyways, when I was reading that and thinking about how it could be useful, and that's how
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I can be useful, and that's the, you know, it talks about, you know, that's in the fifth
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tradition as well, to carry this message to the alcoholic who still suffers, right?
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And I'm best useful where I've been down in.
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I can't go evangelize the whole world,
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but I can help a dude that has an ankle monitor on
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and that has 15 felonies racked up
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and that's I've been where he's been.
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But I'm not going to be useful to the dude that robbed a bank
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because I've never robbed a bank before, Paris.
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I got something on there, man.
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You talk about being useful.
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You know, on page 15, you know, I like page 15 as well because it talks about their usefulness to others.
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You know, it says, but I soon found that when all other measures fail, work with another alcoholic, what's said today?
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And you talk about approaching, you know.
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I'd have been in the times, I remember the times where I was down and I was feeling sad and everything like that.
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But I call you, I call someone, and we read a couple words in this book of AA,
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and it's like, man, you get a sense of feeling different.
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And it keeps talking about this on even working with others.
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On page 89, it says,
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Life will take on new meanings to watch people recover, to see them help others,
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to watch loneliness vanish, and to see a fellowship grow about you,
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to have a host of friends.
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This and this fear is you must not miss.
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and when I was reading it,
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you know, and I think I heard you say
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something about me being a host and you co-host
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and all that, and I was like, huh?
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You know, it didn't make any sense, but
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you know, just to piggyback on it.
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I was like, okay, you know, that's the
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type of love that we have for one
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another, not to step on no one's toes.
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Not to over try to
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do the things that, you know, we
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normally used to do.
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Oh, who can get drunker? Who can get more
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messed up? You know what I mean? Drunker,
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is that a word? I believe that's a word.
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But anyway, we get these things of the ego and their pride, and it talks about the pride again.
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I like going back toward the pride.
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You talk about talking out the book a lot.
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I think you got me on it too, man.
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You're not the only one.
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See, when I was looking at that on the practical part, I would not stay struck in my own thoughts and concerns.
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See, that's the thing that I used to do back in the day.
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I used to let my thoughts hold me down.
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Oh, now what meditation has done is let me sit down and be still so I can sit in that peace.
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And when I sit in that peace today, I understand that, okay, working on your breathing, working on your mind, you know.
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So when things do creep up, because they say it's not if, it's when.
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You know, see, we go through this thing day to day and the part called life.
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You know what I mean?
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Like life still happens to us all.
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You know, you're still going to have death in the family.
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You're still going to have people around you that cut you out.
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You know, you might get in the car somebody to cut you off.
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But your reactions is what will dictate it.
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You know, see how I react to things now than what I used to?
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I used to get mad.
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I had a story one time about, you know, I was staying with my mom and dad, right?
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And I got mad because they smoked in the house.
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So when I came downstairs, I'm going to tell them to stop smoking in the house.
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But this is their house, right?
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So who am I to go down there and tell them what to do in their own place?
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See, that's the thing that's now that I have to practice in everything else.
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But, yeah, what you got else?
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You got spiritual?
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Man, I think that when it says on the practical,
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It says, even small acts of service help shift my perspective and bring clarity.
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And I think it's interesting, you know, in the fourth step and on to this book,
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but there's some important things.
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Like on page 67, it tells me, when a person offended, we said to ourselves,
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this is a sick man, how can I be helpful to him?
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So that's an act of love.
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God saved me from being angry.
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So I brought God into it and I'm showing love.
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Well, on page 68, we talked about it not too long ago.
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We ask him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what he would have us be.
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I would imagine God would have me be a service and love.
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And then on page 70, so these are the three points of the fourth step, right, Paris?
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It says, if sex is very troublesome, we throw ourselves the harder into helping others.
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We think of their needs and work for them.
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Maybe that's showing love too.
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So, you know, when I think about that and I'd hop over to page 84, and I like this connection because on page 84, when we continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear, and when these crop up, we ask God to remove them, just like we did over there and that.
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And then we discuss them with someone immediately.
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And I've never looked at it in this position, but, you know, me and my buddy were talking about this.
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He said, well, maybe discuss them with someone immediately.
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Maybe I just need to pick up the phone and talk to someone.
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Because I don't even like to.
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I would rather call you and check on you versus me call you and tell you about all my problems
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and then call someone else and can make it bigger.
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So anyways, and then make amends quickly if we've harmed anyone.
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Then we resolutely, with determination, that's what the definition of resolutely means,
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turn our thoughts to someone we can help.
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The next one, so that's fourth.
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Love and tolerance of others is our code.
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and we have ceased finding anything or anyone, even alcohol.
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So if I'm practicing all six of those things in a very good manner,
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man, that'd be crazy for me to be coming back and saying,
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well, you know, I'm just, I've just been in this recovery thing
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and I do these things to people, but I make amends after.
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No, and I've heard that.
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And I'm like, man, like, and I hear stuff about the isms.
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Man, you know, that's cool.
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If I need a reason to treat people poorly and an excuse, that's okay.
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But, you know, my sponsor tells me that I need to, you know,
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why don't you just act like a good person and treat people with respect, Corey?
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And I try to do that.
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I don't always succeed, but I try.
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And, man, you know, when I try to do these things and ask God to come into them,
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for some reason, my life's a little bit easier to do.
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Yeah.
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But anyway.
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That's true.
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But that's the thing about it, you know, when it talks about that word humility and Jesus shows me a life poured out for others, you know.
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Man, doing this thing, you know, it's a, I like on page 85 where it talks about, you know, the temp that we record from as a hot flame, you know.
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And with that, you know, with the temperament from the hot flame, it goes back on page 24, and it talks about it again, where it said there is a complete failure of this kind of defense that keeps one from putting his hands on the hot stove.
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See, when I had to learn that this was a disease for me, and when I really had to take step one, 100%, you know, with step one taking 100% meaning that this is, I am an alcoholic.
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I was talking with my friend yesterday, and she was telling me, she was like, oh, you're not an alcoholic.
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I'm like, okay, is your car in the lake?
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You know what I mean?
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Do you drink till you get oblivious?
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No, I can stop.
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Okay, then.
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See, the people of Alcoholics Anonymous,
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well, I ain't gonna say the people of Alcoholics Anonymous,
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it's other people look at us as,
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oh, an alcoholic is someone who drinks all day,
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wake up in the morning and drink.
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No, that's not the point of Ben.
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Yes, that's an alcoholic too,
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But when you can't control your decision-making and you run your life on self-will, that's when you know something's wrong.
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Or I want to end up in this conversation with you today.
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Right.
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Well, you know, since we're on the subject, I'm going to talk about it because I have some thoughts about this.
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You know, this book, Alons and Away, tells me, you know, I would say 17 through 20 war in the Big Bang.
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73, 23, I'm sorry.
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And the big bull gives me exactly what happens when I take a drink of alcohol.
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Yeah.
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Right?
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And the reason is, it's because the physical nature of that.
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Yeah.
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The physical nature says, when I take a drink, I want more.
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And that's what separates me from someone out there, right?
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But you know what?
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When me and you do crack together, guess what happens?
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We get high the same way.
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Yeah.
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Nothing's different.
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Yeah.
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And so I think it's an interesting thing because, you know, we get this thing in our head that
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up in about, oh, we're all the same.
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Well, you know, a bank robber, I've never robbed a bank.
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I can't take him through the 12 steps of alcohol or the 12 steps of the recovery room I'm in.
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But I will tell you this, you know, when I take a drink, I want more.
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Yeah.
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That's the one thing.
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The middle side, right?
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That's another, that's another quality to have.
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When I get out of certain situations, I still drink after any amount of period.
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I mean, and more about alcoholism than the chapter, it's a great example.
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A man of 30 was doing some spree drinking, right?
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And then, man, he didn't drink for 25, he bone-dried for 25 years.
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And then he retired at 55 years of age.
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Then it goes on to say he drank, you know, anyways,
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that his long period of sobriety and self-discipline qualified him to drink his other men.
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Then he decided, you know, out came his carpet slippers and a bottle.
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In two months, he was in a hospital, puzzled and humiliated.
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He tried to regulate his drinking, just like I've tried to regulate my resentments
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and all this other stuff, right?
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It never worked.
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But after making several trips to the hospital, meantime,
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then gathering all his forces, he attempted to stop altogether.
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He found he could not.
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Could not's a big word in this book.
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Every means of solving his problem, which money could buy, was at his disposal.
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Human.
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I'm beyond human aid, right?
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That's kind of the same thing is that every attempt failed.
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Though a robust man at retirement, he went to pieces quickly and was dead within four years.
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So, you know, this thing that, you know, of being an alcoholic,
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and, you know, it's important to me when I'm taking a dude through this work because I do qualify that.
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And I'm not going to spend my time with somebody that is not warranted.
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Because, you know, man, I could be helping someone that is hopeless.
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Man, you know, and that's something that I do.
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And I help them figure out.
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I don't tell them, hey, I'm not working with, but I take them through this book.
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And it's important that the first 51 pages of this book talks about this.
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And then it says, leaving aside the dream question on page 51.
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So maybe 51 pages plus the doctor's opinion is very important to take someone through because they need to figure out if this is for them or not.
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Because then they might be in this position where they are in this deal that I'm in.
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And maybe that's not freedom for them.
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Maybe freedom looks like they just go do something else and be helpful to others and live away from.
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Because, I mean, did I, you know, my sponsor says it all the time, man.
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He didn't scratch off.
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He didn't get a scratch off ticket and come into the rooms of recovery.
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Right.
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You know, it's not.
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I think it's funny when we, you know, we're like, man, I wish everybody had this.
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Man, you like people say, man, everybody needs to work a 12 step recovery.
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Well, you know, that's crazy, Paris, because most people don't have to and they live by self-propulsion.
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Because they're normal people.
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Right.
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You know, when you become normal, it's something different.
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And you don't have to follow directions like that.
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They're already knowing how to follow directions.
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See, my mind, in your mind, we need some direction.
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What it says on page 85, interaction.
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It says, if we have carefully followed directions, we begin the sense of flow of his spirit into us.
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See, that's what I have to do today.
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I got to continue to follow directions, continue to do this work, because as soon as I get out on myself,
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As soon as I think, oh, I master this.
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Oh, I can beat this.
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Oh, I can have one drink.
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I can drink like a gentleman in the day.
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That's when that stuff creeps in.
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It might not creep in that day, but it's going to progress.
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Yeah, a dude I used to listen to, man, he used to talk about this,
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and he said, you know, all we have today is decisions to be made
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and commitments to be kept.
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And I've thought about that for some years.
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So I have decisions to be made.
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And, um, so if I make my decisions based around helping others and keep those commitments,
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that's interesting.
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Cause you know, but you know, back to your point, you know, the, the, the goodness gracious,
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the delusion that we are like other people are presently, maybe has to be smacked presently.
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Maybe has is right here right now with this right now.
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And I can never get out of that.
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Cause if I do and I have right.
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Because I got in the gym working out with these dudes that drank and had fun.
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And man, like, you know, the thing about that little dude, but I was disciplined.
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I had, you know, I had this, I had, you know, my mind, you know, it talks about cunning, baffling, powerful.
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And I know we are not on the topic, but this is a good topic to talk about because once I start thinking I'm like others.
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Yeah.
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I mean, my life, I believe it.
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And all I need now is come up with a good enough life for you to believe it
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so I can do what I want to successful.
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And that's been the great obsession of every abnormal drinker.
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That's what it talks about on page 30.
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We'll end this with a prayer.
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Father God, remove what blocks me from you today.
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Through your Holy Spirit, lead me out of myself
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and into a life of service and purpose.
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Shape me through the example of Jesus.
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And help me live as someone useful in your hands.
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Amen.
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Hold on.