Latest / The Divine Worth Podcast / How to Feel It All — Unlocking Emotions to Deepen Your Self Worth and Confidence with Emily Baker. Ep 91

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How to Feel It All — Unlocking Emotions to Deepen Your Self Worth and Confidence with Emily Baker. Ep 91 · The Divine Worth Podcast

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SPEAKER_02: It's so much easier to get in the space of,
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SPEAKER_02: I want to prove that I can do this thing and that I'm capable of it,
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SPEAKER_02: and to actually sit for a minute and to have to be confronted with your own worth
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SPEAKER_02: of like, yes, this is who you are.
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SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Divine Worth Podcast,
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SPEAKER_00: where we are letting go of our self-doubt,
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SPEAKER_00: anxiety, fear,
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SPEAKER_00: limiting beliefs so that we can step into the divine roles that God has for us.
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SPEAKER_00: I am your host,
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SPEAKER_00: Life Coach Karen Papin,
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SPEAKER_00: and together we are embracing our divine worth and potential.
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SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the divine worth podcast our guest today we recently had on the podcast
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SPEAKER_01: for episode 87 and during that podcast we started talking about emotions and
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SPEAKER_01: so we really wanted to dive more into that and so Emily Baker is back on
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SPEAKER_01: the podcast today Emily how about you go ahead and introduce yourself
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SPEAKER_02: Awesome thank you so much Karen I'm so thrilled to be back so yeah for those
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SPEAKER_02: who are not familiar with me I am a feminine development mentor
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SPEAKER_02: and professional home organizer
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SPEAKER_02: and I absolutely love helping women really navigate their relationship
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SPEAKER_02: with themselves other people God and their home and
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SPEAKER_02: When you know you first reached out to me I was super excited
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SPEAKER_02: because I was like oh this is my jam like talking about worth there's so much here
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SPEAKER_02: that we can get into and so the fact that we get to do a part two today is just like
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SPEAKER_02: on par and one
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SPEAKER_02: of my favorite topics especially I also married my high school sweetheart
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SPEAKER_02: and I've got four little kiddos and I feel like
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SPEAKER_02: Those little ones help me really understand and connect with some of these things.
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SPEAKER_02: So I feel like I'm in the thick of this in so many different ways
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SPEAKER_02: and it's like we've been trying to get together to do this podcast for so long
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SPEAKER_02: and I'm like in the thick of this personally.
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SPEAKER_02: So this feels very pertinent for me.
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SPEAKER_02: So that's a little about me and showing up here today.
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SPEAKER_01: Emily thank you so much and and yeah so there's a just a little introduction
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SPEAKER_01: for those of you who are finding the podcast for the first time okay
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SPEAKER_01: so Emily I yeah last time we talked we briefly kind of mentioned
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SPEAKER_01: the negative emotions that we have the importance of kind of diving into those
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SPEAKER_01: and also how we can kind of stop ourselves
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SPEAKER_01: from feeling positive emotions too.
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SPEAKER_01: And so we're diving into all of that today.
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SPEAKER_01: And to begin, why do you feel it is that it's important that we even have emotions?
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SPEAKER_01: Such a good question.
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SPEAKER_02: So this is one of my favorite things I dive into.
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SPEAKER_02: I view emotions a little bit different than a lot of people tend to.
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SPEAKER_02: So I'm always like, how do you want to go when somebody asks me what's the role of emotions?
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SPEAKER_02: Because I think
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SPEAKER_02: The basic place that we tend to start is like,
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SPEAKER_02: well, emotions are a natural part of our human experience.
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SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, absolutely, yes, they are.
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SPEAKER_02: And so that is kind of this foundational piece to when we cut out emotion,
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SPEAKER_02: we are cutting out an integral part of this experience that we're getting
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SPEAKER_02: to have here in our human life.
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SPEAKER_02: And then the second thing I think of when it comes to our emotions is
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SPEAKER_02: that they can be indicators for us, right?
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SPEAKER_02: They give us messages about understanding
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SPEAKER_02: ourselves,
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SPEAKER_02: our world,
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SPEAKER_02: our relationship with other people, and kind of how that interaction plays out.
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SPEAKER_02: And I love to talk about emotions in the sense
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SPEAKER_02: that they are like our divinely given guidance system.
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SPEAKER_02: I think they're actually meant to be a part of how we connect not only
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SPEAKER_02: with ourselves and with other people and with our world, but also with God.
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SPEAKER_02: And that joy and a lot of these positive emotions that we often experience
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SPEAKER_02: is when we are in that greatest alignment with God with God's view and understanding
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SPEAKER_02: of who we are and how to see the world and that when we start
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SPEAKER_02: to feel negative emotion it is an indicator that there's something in our view
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SPEAKER_02: of ourselves of our circumstances of our interaction with somebody else
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SPEAKER_02: that we're not seeing the same way God does or we're not interacting in the same way
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SPEAKER_02: that God does and so that
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SPEAKER_02: Emotion the negative emotion like the worst we feel is often that indicator
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SPEAKER_02: of I like to call it swinging out like on a pendulum and so we like we've swung out
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SPEAKER_02: from that center place of alignment and it's letting us know hey there's
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SPEAKER_02: an opportunity here for you to rediscover how to see and experience this in the way
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SPEAKER_02: that God does so there's kind of like three different levels that I look at emotion
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SPEAKER_02: on
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SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's great.
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SPEAKER_01: And one thing that that's kind of coming into my mind is like God's plan versus Satan's plan.
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SPEAKER_01: And it's because it's like Satan's plan for us was to pretty much force us to return
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SPEAKER_00: to live with our Heavenly Father again.
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SPEAKER_01: He wanted all that glory and he wanted to make sure everyone made it through.
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SPEAKER_01: And I think that
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SPEAKER_01: That we kind of start to have that perspective sometimes when those negative emotions come up.
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SPEAKER_01: And for the record,
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SPEAKER_01: I'm using negative not because these emotions are bad,
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SPEAKER_01: but because they are uncomfortable.
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SPEAKER_01: And that's how a lot of us tend to view those emotions as being negative, but they're not bad.
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SPEAKER_01: As Emily was saying earlier, it's a sign, right?
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SPEAKER_01: There's something going on.
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SPEAKER_01: And so sometimes I feel like we can kind of get into this perspective that
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SPEAKER_01: That it's like,
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SPEAKER_01: I need to be positive,
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SPEAKER_01: happy, and at least put forth that I am positive and happy all the time.
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SPEAKER_01: And not experience those negative emotions.
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SPEAKER_01: And I don't know if I really explained that correctly as to how that relates to Satan's plans.
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SPEAKER_01: But it's like Satan wanted us to be perfect and to force us to be perfect.
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SPEAKER_01: And that took out our agency.
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SPEAKER_01: And we tend to get into that perfectionistic mindset that we need
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SPEAKER_01: to do everything exactly right.
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SPEAKER_01: And part of that is ignoring those negative emotions that we have.
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SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
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SPEAKER_02: Beautiful.
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SPEAKER_02: Well,
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SPEAKER_02: and I run into this all the time because I'll present that framework of this idea
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SPEAKER_02: of like a pendulum and that
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SPEAKER_02: Our goal is we want to be mostly in that center place aligned with God aligned
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SPEAKER_02: with how God sees the world and each other and things and
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SPEAKER_02: that really easily can translate into this thing of like so I need
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SPEAKER_02: to avoid swinging out and I never need to like go to these extremes
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SPEAKER_02: and like I've got to avoid all these bad emotions because
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SPEAKER_02: if I'm feeling this uncomfortable emotion that is this indicator that I'm misaligned
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SPEAKER_02: with God then I'm doing something bad and like this is a problem and I need
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SPEAKER_02: to change it and I love helping people get into this place of like
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SPEAKER_02: No, no-no-no like
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SPEAKER_02: the whole point of the plan,
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SPEAKER_02: which I feel like you're starting to talk about here,
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SPEAKER_02: is remember,
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SPEAKER_02: we're not just like robots here on earth to like go through the motions of how
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SPEAKER_02: to do life.
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SPEAKER_02: We are actually here because we are divine beings first and foremost.
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SPEAKER_02: And we came here to have a human experience so we could learn how to express
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SPEAKER_02: and embody that divinity as being a literal child of our heavenly parents
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SPEAKER_02: in physical form.
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SPEAKER_02: And so when we're practicing that, we have to go through this process of getting familiar.
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SPEAKER_02: Like, what does that look like?
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SPEAKER_02: What does that feel like?
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SPEAKER_02: How do I interact in these different ways?
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SPEAKER_02: And so we want to have the full breadth and depth of experience.
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SPEAKER_02: It's there for our progression, for our ability to learn how to do this better.
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SPEAKER_02: And I feel like that's what you were touching in.
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SPEAKER_02: Satan was like,
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SPEAKER_02: I don't want you to choose I don't want you to learn I don't want you
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SPEAKER_02: to grow I don't want you to have experiences you're just going
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SPEAKER_02: to be perfectly aligned and do exactly what you need to and do that all the time and
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SPEAKER_02: because you do that you'll feel good and it'll be great
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SPEAKER_02: and we thankfully were like no thanks I want to learn how to actually do this
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SPEAKER_02: for myself like I don't want the cheat code I want to get good at this I want
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SPEAKER_02: to develop the skills I want to practice it and
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SPEAKER_02: That's where we get to embrace the full spectrum of the experiences
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SPEAKER_02: and I always just tell people
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SPEAKER_02: What I'm looking for is to help them so that sometimes our set point gets shifted
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SPEAKER_02: and we kind of are navigating life in an off-center kilter place
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SPEAKER_02: so we're having more negative emotions show up in our life
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SPEAKER_02: or our swings are really really big and that's exhausting and that's draining but
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SPEAKER_02: when you can get really good at navigating through it
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SPEAKER_02: and it's like oh yep I swung out and it doesn't even matter how much you swung out
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SPEAKER_02: but you know how to reorient yourself
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SPEAKER_02: and you know how to come back and you know how to move through those things
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SPEAKER_02: then it's like yeah I can have bumps on the road and whatever
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SPEAKER_02: and I've got good shocks and so I can like ride this and let's go on an adventure
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SPEAKER_02: and have fun together so that's the goal that I'm always wanting
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SPEAKER_02: to help people understand is not to be afraid of these but to see them I believe
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SPEAKER_02: as this divine tool for helping us better understand how God wants us to grow
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SPEAKER_02: and become like them and
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SPEAKER_02: that the more we practice that skill, the easier it gets for us to navigate through that.
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SPEAKER_02: So how do we do that?
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SPEAKER_02: I love it.
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SPEAKER_02: Great question.
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SPEAKER_02: I think the first one is just becoming aware of like,
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SPEAKER_02: what are the different emotions I can feel?
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SPEAKER_02: I think most of us have kind of this idea of there's just,
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SPEAKER_02: you know, back to kindergarten, like happy, sad, mad, glad, like
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SPEAKER_02: with the little smiley faces, maybe throw in a disgust or silly or something.
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SPEAKER_02: But for the most part, we have like a small collection of them.
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SPEAKER_02: And that was a really fascinating experience for me when I first saw these lists
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SPEAKER_02: of like hundreds of emotions.
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SPEAKER_02: And I was like,
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SPEAKER_02: What?
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SPEAKER_02: Like, you know,
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SPEAKER_02: and there's a few that I pick as some of my favorites of like frustration
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SPEAKER_02: and irritability,
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SPEAKER_02: but like,
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SPEAKER_02: what's the difference between frustration and what's the difference
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SPEAKER_02: between irritability and like, do I need to know a difference between them?
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SPEAKER_02: And it wasn't so much about,
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SPEAKER_02: I need to know the right emotion and what is the emotion I should be feeling
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SPEAKER_02: for this response and like,
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SPEAKER_02: what's the appropriate thing,
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SPEAKER_02: which I have a tendency to do that again,
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SPEAKER_02: this like right thing or perfection aspect.
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SPEAKER_02: And Instead Viewing It More Like Trying On Different Clothes
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SPEAKER_02: Or Tasting Different Flavors Of Food And Ice Cream And Getting To Be Like Okay
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SPEAKER_02: I know what that is.
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SPEAKER_02: That is saffron.
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SPEAKER_02: I do not like saffron in my food or like that is hot chili peppers and
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SPEAKER_02: that is like way too spicy for me.
10:39
SPEAKER_02: No, thank you.
10:41
SPEAKER_02: Oh, this one is basil and I love the taste and the texture of it.
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SPEAKER_02: And this one is cinnamon and like getting those different familiarity of kind of
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SPEAKER_02: the flavors of our experience that we can have.
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SPEAKER_02: And then you can almost start to have them color your life more,
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SPEAKER_02: the more familiar you become with them.
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SPEAKER_02: But I feel like if we don't even have a foundation for putting that into words,
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SPEAKER_02: it can sometimes be harder.
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SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01: I think what happens when we don't do that and we just try
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SPEAKER_01: to stuff down our emotions and not feel them,
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SPEAKER_01: we actually just start reacting to them versus
11:21
SPEAKER_01: Actually Living Life The Way With Intention And The Way That We Want
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SPEAKER_02: To Actually Live Our Lives Yeah And I'd Say That's Probably One Of
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SPEAKER_02: The Biggest Misconceptions Around Emotion Is
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SPEAKER_02: That They're Something We Can't Control Right So Like They Just Happen I Just Happen
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SPEAKER_02: To Be Happy Today Or I Just Happen To Be Infuriated By What That Person Said Or Did
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SPEAKER_02: Or That They Are Something That We Need To Try And Control
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SPEAKER_02: And so I need to make sure that I don't get angry or make sure
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SPEAKER_02: that I'm still feeling good on what's going on.
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SPEAKER_02: And I think your word of intentionality is such a powerful one to recognize that no,
12:00
SPEAKER_02: no, no,
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SPEAKER_02: we want to let them be a part of us and a part of our experience,
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SPEAKER_02: but that they don't get to be like a wild animal dog that's like untrained
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SPEAKER_02: and is just like running all over the house, right?
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SPEAKER_02: We want to
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SPEAKER_02: Go to training school right and feel like sit stay wait right so there's a part
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SPEAKER_02: of having that emotional discipline in a way but it's not about controlling
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SPEAKER_02: the emotions that we feel it's again about the intentionality why is
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SPEAKER_02: the emotion here what is it doing for me how do I want to choose to respond to
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SPEAKER_02: the emotion there's so much there that you really start to see it as a part
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SPEAKER_02: of your life almost like
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SPEAKER_02: I feel hunger & i have a need for food and so im gonna interact with that in
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SPEAKER_02: a reactive way or controlling
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SPEAKER_02: way or an intentional way right am i just eating whatever comes around because it's there
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SPEAKER_02: & i'm hungry or am i super strict & trying to control what i'm eating? Or am i being more
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SPEAKER_02: disciplined & be like okay when do i want to eat, what do i wanna eat how much does my body
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SPEAKER_02: need what kind of food feels good to me right now it's kind of
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SPEAKER_02: Yes and in fact that's the place when I'm working with somebody
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SPEAKER_02: that I usually have them start is we just go real simple and it's
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SPEAKER_02: when did you first start feeling bad
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SPEAKER_02: because usually we don't even realize it's like 3 p.m.
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SPEAKER_02: has hit or it's like 7 p.m.
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SPEAKER_02: trying to like start getting ready for better things and we're just like I'm
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SPEAKER_02: at my wits end and it's like can you trace it back to when you first started
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SPEAKER_02: to feel bad and that's become a powerful thing
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SPEAKER_02: That I even use with my husband and I in our relationship dynamic is like
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SPEAKER_02: when we start getting overwhelmed or we start getting frustrated,
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SPEAKER_02: like go back to the signal, right?
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SPEAKER_02: Because the check engine light came on at some point, right?
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SPEAKER_02: And so what was coming on?
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SPEAKER_02: What was going on when that happened?
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SPEAKER_02: Because our natural state,
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SPEAKER_02: and I love this about the gospel, I believe, is to feel good and to have joy.
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SPEAKER_02: It is the plan of happiness It is not the plan of deep suffering and endurance and
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SPEAKER_02: when you can seek me and I will give you droplets of joy for you to sucker on
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SPEAKER_02: and enjoy No,
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SPEAKER_02: it is the plan of happiness You follow the plan You experience more happiness Men
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SPEAKER_02: and women are that they might have joy It is foundational in the teaching in 2 Nephi
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SPEAKER_02: in the Book of Mormon We are supposed to naturally feel good and when we do
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SPEAKER_02: That's like, okay, things are moving along.
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SPEAKER_02: Things are going well.
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SPEAKER_02: But there's also this acknowledgement of like, we're also supposed to grow.
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SPEAKER_02: And that's where the opposition comes into play.
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SPEAKER_02: And so there's going to be moments where it's like, bam, I just hit something.
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SPEAKER_02: I just knocked into something.
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SPEAKER_02: And so we want to get good at being able to identify when did I first stop feeling good?
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SPEAKER_02: Because that lets me know, hey, something's off.
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SPEAKER_02: And if you can get better at catching that earlier and earlier,
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SPEAKER_02: then you can start doing something with it sooner instead of like,
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SPEAKER_02: Well, the check engine light came on and now I'm out of gas and the tires are blown
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SPEAKER_02: and like it just escalates until you're like, I just need a new car.
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SPEAKER_02: Like, can somebody bring me a new car?
15:30
SPEAKER_02: Right?
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SPEAKER_02: We want to like catch it sooner.
15:35
SPEAKER_01: Okay,
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SPEAKER_01: so what I like about what you're saying is you're going back and getting clarity on,
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SPEAKER_01: okay, when did this first start to happen?
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SPEAKER_01: Why am I feeling this way?
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SPEAKER_01: And that clarity then gives you the...
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SPEAKER_01: Clarity to be able to know okay to open yourself up
15:56
SPEAKER_01: to being like using your agency keep thinking of agency so far this discussion
16:01
SPEAKER_01: but using your agency to choose how do I want to move forward how do I want to feel
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SPEAKER_01: in this situation and and and maybe you do want to feel angry in
16:10
SPEAKER_01: that moment allow yourself to feel it and then decide what you want to do
16:14
SPEAKER_02: about it yeah yeah I often tell people that there are two types of
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SPEAKER_02: Emotion or two types of ways that we feel negative emotion in particular and one
16:26
SPEAKER_02: of them is like moving it something through our system and it's helping us reorient
16:32
SPEAKER_02: and it feels a little uncomfortable at first but the more you lean
16:35
SPEAKER_02: into it there's actually this sense of relief that starts to come with that and
16:39
SPEAKER_02: so sometimes that's where it's like
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SPEAKER_02: I just need to take a break and I just need to like be mad for a minute or I need
16:44
SPEAKER_02: to be disappointed that this happened or I need to be frustrated or whatever it is
16:50
SPEAKER_02: and as we move through that it brings that relief but I also love to give people
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SPEAKER_02: the indicator of like sometimes we are just compounding an experience too and so
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SPEAKER_02: if you lean into the emotion and it feels like it's getting more intense
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SPEAKER_02: the longer you stay there and you start spiraling from it that's
17:08
SPEAKER_02: an indicator I tell people of like
17:10
SPEAKER_02: Shift Your Attention That Is Not A Good Place For You To Be Feeling That
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SPEAKER_02: Because Sometimes People Will Be Like Well I'm Just Trying To Feel My Feelings But
17:17
SPEAKER_02: Then They Get Caught In This Place Where It's Like Every Time I Try
17:19
SPEAKER_02: To Feel My Feelings I Feel Like It's Getting Worse And I'm Like There's
17:22
SPEAKER_02: A Difference There's A Distinction Of Is There Actually Like
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SPEAKER_02: I love to think of emotions almost like a wave that moves through our body and
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SPEAKER_02: so it's like when there's a positive emotion part of
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SPEAKER_02: the reason we call it positive is because as it moves through us it feels good right
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SPEAKER_02: and it's like yes I love this let's let it keep moving through me this is wonderful
17:43
SPEAKER_02: but when we have an emotion that we typically call negative
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SPEAKER_02: that discomfort is coming because as it moves through us it actually doesn't match
17:51
SPEAKER_02: who we are
17:53
SPEAKER_02: Divinely.
17:54
SPEAKER_02: It's part of our human experience.
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SPEAKER_02: And so it's that contrast between the pure love of God and perfection.
18:03
SPEAKER_02: that exists within us and we're feeling the dissonance between those two parts of
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SPEAKER_02: who we are and so there's discomfort in that but that's part of our human experience
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SPEAKER_02: and part of that growth and so when we allow that to move through us it gets
18:20
SPEAKER_02: to just like have been a part of the human experience and then
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SPEAKER_02: leave us like
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SPEAKER_02: Recognizing when we're releasing things it's not it's like
18:57
SPEAKER_02: Keeping Our Emotional Hygiene Well There's Not Like A Backlog Of Plaque
19:01
SPEAKER_02: On Your Teeth Or Something Like Your System Gets To Feel Clear
19:05
SPEAKER_02: Because You're Regular Going Through It And Sometimes When We Haven't Done That For
19:08
SPEAKER_02: A While There's A Little Bit More In There And That Can Also Be A Little Scary
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SPEAKER_02: When You First Start Feeling It Is It's Like If I Open Up
19:15
SPEAKER_02: The Floodgates Like I Got 20 30 Years Worth Of Stuff In Here
19:20
SPEAKER_02: That Like I Don't Know What To Do With There And So I Think
19:25
SPEAKER_02: I love to give people that definition of like, you don't have to feel it all.
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SPEAKER_02: You don't have to feel it all the time.
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SPEAKER_02: Like you can say, okay, that's enough for now.
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SPEAKER_02: I'm done.
19:34
SPEAKER_02: Like, I just want to touch with that for a minute.
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SPEAKER_02: But there is a piece and a value in recognizing why am I feeling this?
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SPEAKER_02: It's to help clear out the system and to recognize that
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SPEAKER_02: The other trap is if you're not clearing it out
19:48
SPEAKER_02: then you're actually just like creating something new within you and that's
19:53
SPEAKER_02: where it's like I'm getting stuck in this spiral and this whirlpool of emotion
19:58
SPEAKER_02: and that's why I like to use that visual of are you moving something through you and
20:02
SPEAKER_02: then it gives you that relief or there's like some wound or old balled up thing
20:07
SPEAKER_02: that like
20:07
SPEAKER_02: needs to be felt and moved through.
20:09
SPEAKER_02: And again, in either of those cases, you'll feel relief.
20:11
SPEAKER_02: It'll get a little bit more intense,
20:13
SPEAKER_02: kind of like as you go around,
20:15
SPEAKER_02: but as you lean into it, then it actually starts to feel better.
20:18
SPEAKER_02: But if the more you focus on it and the more you stay in it,
20:22
SPEAKER_02: it's like, okay, you are just creating something that does not even need to exist.
20:26
SPEAKER_02: Walk away from it.
20:27
SPEAKER_02: Go do something else.
20:28
SPEAKER_02: Distract yourself.
20:28
SPEAKER_02: Like that's actually a good time to use some sort of distraction
20:32
SPEAKER_02: to move yourself out of that pattern.
20:34
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
20:35
SPEAKER_01: I love that you brought that up.
20:37
SPEAKER_01: One of the things that I work with with my clients is helping them to get in part,
20:44
SPEAKER_01: and I think I mentioned this too on our last episode,
20:46
SPEAKER_01: but get in touch with that part of themselves that's feeling that so that that part
20:51
SPEAKER_01: of themselves can feel seen and heard.
20:54
SPEAKER_01: And once they feel that,
20:56
SPEAKER_01: then it's like,
20:57
SPEAKER_01: I can release this and I can get out of that stuck feeling and be able to move on.
21:03
SPEAKER_02: And I love calling that embracing our humanness because I love to put it again
21:07
SPEAKER_02: in this framing between that divine part of who we are and then the interference
21:13
SPEAKER_02: from our human experience.
21:14
SPEAKER_02: And so it's not that when that interference comes through,
21:17
SPEAKER_02: it's like, oh, no, I'm not my divine self.
21:19
SPEAKER_02: This is happening.
21:20
SPEAKER_02: This is a problem.
21:20
SPEAKER_02: It's like, no, we want to embrace that humanness.
21:23
SPEAKER_02: And so like you're saying, see that part of you, hear that part of you, let that part of you be
21:28
SPEAKER_02: a part of you and that's actually what brings them into harmony in the two parts of
21:33
SPEAKER_02: who we are and so I love that because I feel like it's getting to integrate
21:39
SPEAKER_02: and witness the fullness of who we are
21:41
SPEAKER_02: and that's what actually increases our capacity to be more and to hold more and
21:46
SPEAKER_02: to do more is by recognizing
21:49
SPEAKER_02: All of me.
21:50
SPEAKER_02: I am both human and divine and they complement each other.
21:54
SPEAKER_02: They work together.
21:55
SPEAKER_02: They're a part of all of me.
21:57
SPEAKER_01: So I love that.
21:59
SPEAKER_01: So what are some of the emotions that you feel like we most get stuck in?
22:04
SPEAKER_02: Good ones.
22:04
SPEAKER_02: I think, well, I guess it depends on what you mean by stuck, right?
22:07
SPEAKER_02: Because we can get stuck as in like, I just keep going back to this emotion.
22:11
SPEAKER_02: And so I think we sometimes have our favorites.
22:13
SPEAKER_02: It's like my dad would always joke.
22:15
SPEAKER_02: He's like, I'm a worrier.
22:16
SPEAKER_02: And my mom's like, I am too.
22:18
SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, thanks.
22:19
SPEAKER_02: I got a genetic double dose of like being a worrier, right?
22:22
SPEAKER_02: But...
22:23
SPEAKER_02: So I think we sometimes have our favorites whether that's anxiety
22:26
SPEAKER_02: or fear catastrophizing or whatever and so we can get stuck there
22:32
SPEAKER_02: because they're familiar they're serving some sort of role of helping us feel safe
22:37
SPEAKER_02: or helping us feel like we're oriented to the world in some way but if I think
22:40
SPEAKER_02: of emotions that we get stuck in as in like I don't know what to do with this
22:48
SPEAKER_02: Emotion that type of stuck I feel like the biggest culprit is anger
22:53
SPEAKER_02: where it's just like sometimes I think we don't even touch that we're actually
22:59
SPEAKER_02: in anger we're like no I'm just irritated I'm just frustrated I'm just wishing
23:03
SPEAKER_02: things could be a little better like we try to kind of sugarcoat
23:06
SPEAKER_02: or like pull ourselves away from that because it's like if I deep dived
23:10
SPEAKER_02: into anger I'm not supposed to feel anger first and foremost like that's a bad thing
23:15
SPEAKER_02: to be feeling
23:16
SPEAKER_02: and so if I am then I'm bad and I've done bad and I don't want to have that
23:23
SPEAKER_02: or there's also this piece
23:25
SPEAKER_02: of like well it shouldn't really warrant me being mad like it's not really that big
23:31
SPEAKER_02: of a deal like we kind of try to rationalize ourselves out of the experience
23:36
SPEAKER_02: and I feel like both of those scenarios where we're like
23:43
SPEAKER_02: Trying to minimize what is actually being felt there or trying to sugarcoat it
23:47
SPEAKER_02: or trying to just not feel it at all to not actually realize like I'm angry
23:53
SPEAKER_02: because anger requires there to be conflict in some way and so
23:58
SPEAKER_02: that conflict is like I have to acknowledge that this person I love dearly or
24:03
SPEAKER_02: that I'm supposed to love dearly or who I'm whatever also made me mad and so there's
24:09
SPEAKER_02: the same thing of like
24:11
SPEAKER_02: When we can't deal with the duality within ourselves of like
24:15
SPEAKER_02: but I'm like this divine spiritual being I'm supposed to be so great
24:18
SPEAKER_02: and do all these things and stay connected to God
24:20
SPEAKER_02: and oh I'm also this flawed human being and I'm still trying
24:23
SPEAKER_02: to figure those things out we sometimes do the same thing with the people we're
24:27
SPEAKER_02: in relationship with we're like but my parents love me so much
24:31
SPEAKER_02: and they tried their best and they did all these things
24:33
SPEAKER_02: and also I really needed this and that was really hard on me and this hurt me
24:38
SPEAKER_02: and it's hard as both
24:41
SPEAKER_02: Parties In That Like I'm Using A Parent Child Relationship Here Because It's One Of
24:45
SPEAKER_02: The Most Imperfect Ones That We Can Have And So There's A Lot Of Example
24:49
SPEAKER_02: That Can Show Up There And It Can Be Hard On Both Parts Right As
24:52
SPEAKER_02: A Parent You Don't Want To Know That You Fell Short
24:56
SPEAKER_02: For Your Child Like You Love Them You Want The Best For Them And So That's
25:00
SPEAKER_02: The Last Thing That We Sometimes Want To Experience And Similarly As
25:04
SPEAKER_02: A Child Often We're Like This Is My Parent They're Supposed To Care About Me
25:07
SPEAKER_02: And Love Me And
25:09
SPEAKER_02: Hopefully we've had experiences where that's been the case and we've felt that.
25:12
SPEAKER_02: And so it can be really confusing sometimes of like, well, why do I also feel this anger?
25:18
SPEAKER_02: Why do I feel even this resentment that's coming up?
25:20
SPEAKER_02: And it's recognizing because there's a fullness of an experience here.
25:24
SPEAKER_02: There's a fullness of a relationship.
25:27
SPEAKER_02: And that means there's going to be both the love and the hurt.
25:31
SPEAKER_02: And that's actually part of the process of how we get to come
25:34
SPEAKER_02: into deeper relationship with ourselves, with other people, and with God.
25:38
SPEAKER_02: is when we can learn to integrate and allow all of those experiences to coexist.
25:45
SPEAKER_01: My friend, my mom's friend, my mom's a marriage and family therapist and her friend was too.
25:51
SPEAKER_01: And one of the things that she told my mom was love is our ability
25:56
SPEAKER_01: to tolerate our own emotions for the sake of another.
26:00
SPEAKER_01: And did I share that before?
26:01
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
26:02
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love that though.
26:04
SPEAKER_01: So as you're talking,
26:07
SPEAKER_01: that's what I'm thinking of,
26:09
SPEAKER_01: is as we learn to process our emotions,
26:12
SPEAKER_01: to experience our emotions in healthy ways, then we're able to
26:17
SPEAKER_01: Be there in those relationships and connect with people and be able to help them
26:22
SPEAKER_01: through their emotions and be intentional with how we do things versus just that,
26:29
SPEAKER_01: because otherwise we just react.
26:30
SPEAKER_01: If we're not taking that time to experience our emotions and process them,
26:35
SPEAKER_01: then we're reacting to whatever it is
26:37
SPEAKER_01: that our loved ones are doing versus actually being able to just experience it
26:41
SPEAKER_02: with them.
26:44
SPEAKER_02: And so I kind of put it as there's almost like three different tiers of experience
26:48
SPEAKER_02: where there's first like getting comfortable with ourselves
26:51
SPEAKER_02: and just our own emotions and playing in that.
26:55
SPEAKER_02: And then there's like our emotions in relationship to the world or our experiences
27:00
SPEAKER_02: that we're having with other people and what's going on.
27:03
SPEAKER_02: And then that third tier is
27:05
SPEAKER_02: Being Actually In Relationship With Another Person
27:08
SPEAKER_02: And Navigating Those Emotions Right It's A Different Experience To Be In It
27:14
SPEAKER_02: With Somebody Than Just Like
27:17
SPEAKER_02: I'm annoyed with this and I'm dealing with it myself outside of
27:20
SPEAKER_02: that relationship dynamic experience and they all kind of like build on top
27:25
SPEAKER_02: of each other and yet what's hardest is that external relationship piece is
27:30
SPEAKER_02: the one we run into the most because we're interacting with other people and yet
27:36
SPEAKER_02: if we're not intentionally building the foundations underneath it
27:40
SPEAKER_02: It's a lot harder to navigate through it.
27:42
SPEAKER_02: And we often don't see that the root of that is navigating our own emotions.
27:47
SPEAKER_02: That's the first foundational skill set there.
27:51
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I love that.
27:53
SPEAKER_01: I used to think I was a really patient person and I had kids.
27:57
SPEAKER_02: It's like there's this whole new dynamic that happens.
28:02
SPEAKER_01: Anyways, okay, so one thing that I really do want to talk about that I wanted to focus on.
28:07
SPEAKER_01: So we've processed those more uncomfortable emotions,
28:12
SPEAKER_01: and we're feeling that joy, and then we struggle to keep feeling that joy.
28:18
SPEAKER_01: And so I want to dive more into that
28:22
SPEAKER_01: because sometimes we self-sabotage ourselves once we get into this place of joy,
28:26
SPEAKER_01: and I'd love to hear your thoughts.
28:29
SPEAKER_02: I love that I love that you put it that way of the like self-sabotage our own joy
28:34
SPEAKER_02: which is so funny because in some ways it's like well no I would never do
28:38
SPEAKER_02: that like I love feeling good and it's wonderful to have all these things and
28:42
SPEAKER_02: yet there is this piece that it is like a whole skill and to apply it in new ways
28:50
SPEAKER_02: and new levels of our life this is
28:52
SPEAKER_02: One thing that I'm always talking about is like you don't learn these things and
28:56
SPEAKER_02: then like oh I'm a master at them and I never have
28:58
SPEAKER_02: to practice them again like everyone who is talking
29:01
SPEAKER_02: about these things should be applying and practicing them like in your own life
29:04
SPEAKER_02: and every time you feel like I've got it mastered
29:07
SPEAKER_02: and I've got it figured out like we hit a new level of growth
29:09
SPEAKER_02: and it's like well I've never done it in this way or I've never done it in this part
29:13
SPEAKER_02: of my life or this new thing that I have there and so
29:16
SPEAKER_02: This is something that like I literally think part of the reason we had such
29:20
SPEAKER_02: a hard time struggling to get this second call scheduled is because this is like
29:25
SPEAKER_02: the thing I'm going through right now is like I once heard
29:29
SPEAKER_02: a woman she said how much joy can you hold and how long can you hold it
29:35
SPEAKER_02: and I was like that is the thing that I feel like I'm in the middle of right now
29:40
SPEAKER_02: and it's almost a really humbling experience and one that really
29:45
SPEAKER_02: I feel like is bringing me to another level of relationship with God
29:49
SPEAKER_02: because we sometimes talk about like God in our pain all
29:53
SPEAKER_02: the time right like oh God carried me through this and was there for me and I got
29:57
SPEAKER_02: to know him and like when we feel far from God it's
30:01
SPEAKER_02: because there's not something hard going on in our life right
30:04
SPEAKER_02: so things are good we're okay we're not reaching out but there is receptivity again
30:10
SPEAKER_02: of like am I willing to receive the love the joy
30:15
SPEAKER_02: the blessings that God is wanting to bring into my life.
30:20
SPEAKER_02: And it feels like sometimes I have been down in the trenches for so long,
30:27
SPEAKER_02: working and fighting and trying and praying for so much that like we've been clawing
30:33
SPEAKER_02: as individuals,
30:34
SPEAKER_02: as a couple, as a family through so much over the last couple of years.
30:37
SPEAKER_02: And so we're finally hitting a point where things are starting to turn around.
30:42
SPEAKER_02: and like my nervous system my mind is not used to it in a way it's like I know how
30:48
SPEAKER_02: to show up when it's hard and it's not going well
30:50
SPEAKER_02: but like I can just it can just be good like I could almost find joy easier in a way
30:58
SPEAKER_02: when it's hard circumstances around me because it's like this image
31:02
SPEAKER_02: of almost like everywhere I turn there are pointy things surrounding me like
31:07
SPEAKER_02: If I lean too far that way, I'm going to get hit.
31:09
SPEAKER_02: Oh, if I lean too far this way, I'm going to get hit.
31:10
SPEAKER_02: And so it's like, I'm just going to stand right here in the joy and like, okay, this is good.
31:15
SPEAKER_02: And I'm just not going to move.
31:16
SPEAKER_02: And it's like,
31:17
SPEAKER_02: now all of these things are just like moving away and it's like,
31:20
SPEAKER_02: okay, you can come out and you can just move freely.
31:22
SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, I don't know.
31:25
SPEAKER_02: I'm afraid to like step outside and to like, can I hold this joy?
31:30
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
31:32
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so why is there that fear about having that joy?
31:39
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so I think there's a couple of different pieces.
31:41
SPEAKER_02: One piece I would say is biological, right?
31:43
SPEAKER_02: So our nervous systems are very real.
31:46
SPEAKER_02: And so like that's one piece that I'm just having to be patient with in some ways is
31:51
SPEAKER_02: This is simply unfamiliar for my nervous system right now because it's used to being
31:55
SPEAKER_02: on high alert and I need to like stay really focused and
32:00
SPEAKER_02: so it's taking some practice of just reminding myself like there's a different way
32:05
SPEAKER_02: that I can step into this but I think that also comes into a place
32:10
SPEAKER_02: of our own feelings about ourselves right our worthiness it's so much easier to get
32:17
SPEAKER_02: in this space of I want to prove
32:20
SPEAKER_02: that like I can do this thing and that I'm capable of it and to actually sit for
32:24
SPEAKER_02: a minute and to have to be confronted with your own worth of like yes this is
32:33
SPEAKER_02: who you are and you are getting to experience more of that fullness of like
32:37
SPEAKER_02: who you divinely are we talked about this a little bit in the last episode of like
32:40
SPEAKER_02: that divine part of us wanting to funnel into our experience and we're growing
32:44
SPEAKER_02: to be able to hold more of that and so it's almost like you have grown now
32:48
SPEAKER_02: to be able to hold more of this joy in your experience and that's a reflection
32:54
SPEAKER_02: of our own worth and so we are more familiar with our last stage
33:00
SPEAKER_02: of being comfortable right so it's like this is the place that I'm comfortable in
33:03
SPEAKER_02: who I am and what I'm worth and what I'm capable of
33:06
SPEAKER_02: And then we go through this stretching process that's so uncomfortable,
33:11
SPEAKER_02: trying to make room for more of who we are to come into our experience.
33:14
SPEAKER_02: And when we finally do that and it's come in,
33:17
SPEAKER_02: it's like, well, now I want you to see who you are and what is here.
33:22
SPEAKER_02: And it's like,
33:22
SPEAKER_02: we're comparing it to this last thing and we're just looking at the gap
33:26
SPEAKER_02: and we're like,
33:27
SPEAKER_02: No, no, no.
33:28
SPEAKER_02: I just, I'm still lacking and I'm still whatever.
33:30
SPEAKER_02: And we still see the image of like all the potential ahead.
33:33
SPEAKER_02: It's almost like we want to just look anywhere else except God just being like,
33:37
SPEAKER_02: this is who you are.
33:38
SPEAKER_02: Will you just own it for a second and sit in it and like let yourself be
33:43
SPEAKER_02: who you magnificently are and just enjoy it for a moment.
33:47
SPEAKER_01: And yet it's so hard to do that.
33:51
SPEAKER_01: And I like what you're saying because it's like you kind of, we condition ourselves to
33:57
SPEAKER_01: Go Out and like especially those of us who like love accomplishing goals
34:02
SPEAKER_01: and checking off the boxes and you know things like
34:04
SPEAKER_01: that it's like we condition ourselves to work towards those goals and to do our best
34:10
SPEAKER_01: at accomplishing them and accomplishing them and then it's like we don't take
34:14
SPEAKER_01: that time to actually appreciate the fact that wow look at how far we have come
34:20
SPEAKER_01: and even in the middle of the goal it's like look
34:22
SPEAKER_01: at how far you have come like celebrate the process all along the way
34:27
SPEAKER_01: And it's because we're like conditioning ourselves to be like,
34:32
SPEAKER_01: I need to go, go, go and do, do, do because that shows that I'm of worth.
34:38
SPEAKER_01: And it's like, no, we're already there.
34:41
SPEAKER_01: We're already there.
34:42
SPEAKER_01: That doesn't mean we stop working on things, but we're already there.
34:46
SPEAKER_01: And then we move forward because we want to.
34:49
Yeah.
34:49
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
34:50
SPEAKER_02: And I think it's that reorientation that the thing that has worth is not the action.
34:58
SPEAKER_02: The thing that has worth is us.
35:01
SPEAKER_02: And action is one part, one part of the process of us becoming more of who we are.
35:08
SPEAKER_02: And so when we take the action, it moves us closer into getting to experience more of our worth.
35:14
SPEAKER_02: So the worth is already there.
35:15
SPEAKER_02: It's inherent.
35:17
SPEAKER_02: But we choose how much of that we're willing to allow into our experience.
35:23
SPEAKER_02: And that's the fascinating piece of it,
35:25
SPEAKER_02: is where we're actually the limiting reagent,
35:28
SPEAKER_02: I believe, in this relationship with our worth.
35:31
SPEAKER_02: It's not that God is like,
35:32
SPEAKER_02: I need you to do X, Y, Z, A, B, C, and then I will give you this worth.
35:37
SPEAKER_02: It's, hey,
35:38
SPEAKER_02: I designed you in a specific way,
35:40
SPEAKER_02: and there are specific things that are going to help you so that you function well
35:43
SPEAKER_02: and you get to be who you are.
35:45
SPEAKER_02: And as you do more and more of those things,
35:47
SPEAKER_02: You will get to experience more of the worth that I already know is there.
35:53
SPEAKER_02: I already see.
35:54
SPEAKER_02: How much of it do you want to experience?
35:58
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so I...
35:59
SPEAKER_01: Okay, let me get my thought back.
36:02
SPEAKER_01: Okay, it's not coming back to me.
36:03
SPEAKER_01: So, okay, so we...
36:06
SPEAKER_01: Okay, this is where what I wanted to bring up was a great book on this whole idea is
36:16
SPEAKER_01: The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks.
36:18
SPEAKER_01: Yes, I love that.
36:19
SPEAKER_01: Really good book.
36:20
SPEAKER_01: And in it,
36:20
SPEAKER_01: he talks about how we have like this threshold of joy
36:24
SPEAKER_01: for how much joy we can experience.
36:27
SPEAKER_01: And then that's when we start to self-sabotaging.
36:30
SPEAKER_01: And so how can we learn...
36:35
SPEAKER_01: to be able to hold more of that joy and be able to raise that threshold that we have.
36:42
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
36:43
SPEAKER_02: Well, I think there's always the two parts of us, right?
36:45
SPEAKER_02: The light and the dark, the human, the divine.
36:47
SPEAKER_02: There's always those pieces.
36:48
SPEAKER_02: So one piece is the more we go into the depths, we feel those emotions.
36:52
SPEAKER_02: We see those parts of us that want to be seen.
36:55
SPEAKER_02: We hear what wants to be said.
36:59
SPEAKER_02: I feel like that unlocks our own
37:01
SPEAKER_02: comfort with ourselves. And so the more comfortable we are with ourselves,
37:04
SPEAKER_02: the easier it is to be like well maybe I can raise that a little bit. Maybe
37:07
SPEAKER_02: I can use that a
37:08
SPEAKER_02: little bit more. So i think that can be one part of
37:11
SPEAKER_02: process but i also think there's a part of
37:14
SPEAKER_02: it that is just like a calibrating
37:16
SPEAKER_02: to it and like intentionally practicing
37:21
SPEAKER_02: Can I Let Myself Feel A Little More Joy Today And How Can I Do That
37:25
SPEAKER_02: And I Think We're Not As Used To Making That An Active Part Of Our Day But
37:33
SPEAKER_02: When You Start Sitting In A Place Of Like I Just Want To Enjoy This Moment Or I Want
37:38
SPEAKER_02: To Find What That Threshold Is So When You Feel Because This Is
37:43
SPEAKER_02: The Other Thing Is You Get Better At Feeling Your Emotions
37:45
SPEAKER_02: And Recognizing Them You Can Actually Start To Recognize
37:49
SPEAKER_02: Oh I'm getting close to that threshold like all day today I've been feeling on
37:53
SPEAKER_02: the verge of that of like teetering between today's gonna be so amazing because all
37:56
SPEAKER_02: the things I get to do and it's gonna be so fun and like oh that's uncomfortable
38:01
SPEAKER_02: and maybe I just kind of want to go to back to bed because I don't want to do that
38:04
SPEAKER_02: and that feels a little uncomfortable and it's this like I want
38:06
SPEAKER_02: to call it like psychotic sometimes of like come on just let yourself go there
38:12
SPEAKER_02: But I think there is something to momentum as well and so
38:16
SPEAKER_02: when we can find maybe something else that's a little bit easier to access that joy
38:21
SPEAKER_02: in and letting that kind of carry us into more that can be another strategy
38:28
SPEAKER_02: of helping practice that but also just
38:32
SPEAKER_02: Like intentionally throughout the day I used to talk all the time about peaches
38:36
SPEAKER_02: because I love peaches and so getting like a really good fresh one from
38:40
SPEAKER_02: a farm like I would eat them with my lunch and I would not just eat
38:44
SPEAKER_02: the peach like I would savor it and indulge in it and it was just a relishing
38:49
SPEAKER_02: of milking this joy and so the same way I feel like there are skills in how
38:55
SPEAKER_02: to manage and navigate our
38:57
SPEAKER_02: More Difficult or Uncomfortable Emotions I think there's a skill
39:01
SPEAKER_02: and there's something to be said of just practicing it like yes I just get
39:06
SPEAKER_02: to feel joy and not even having a reason for it like I'm just going to choose joy
39:12
SPEAKER_02: in this moment or I think sometimes we feel guilty right like
39:16
SPEAKER_02: so many other people are suffering or struggling or whatever and like I need
39:20
SPEAKER_02: to lower myself and how I'm feeling so that like I don't make them uncomfortable
39:24
SPEAKER_02: the same way we're like I don't want to feel the negative emotion because
39:27
SPEAKER_02: Then there's this conflict and I don't like how that feels there.
39:30
SPEAKER_02: So getting into this place of just really allowing ourselves to be like, this is where I am.
39:35
SPEAKER_02: This is what I'm feeling today.
39:37
SPEAKER_02: This is what I want to step into and being again intentional with those things.
39:43
SPEAKER_01: I love that you bring that up,
39:45
SPEAKER_01: that sometimes it's like the very reasons that keep us
39:47
SPEAKER_01: from feeling those uncomfortable emotions also keep us from feeling
39:53
SPEAKER_01: the more joyful emotions.
39:55
SPEAKER_00: Okay, one thing that I do want to bring in here is because we can start
40:00
SPEAKER_01: to feel like we're not being spiritual enough when we start
40:05
SPEAKER_01: to experience certain emotions.
40:07
SPEAKER_01: And so how does Christ model
40:10
SPEAKER_01: for us the full range of emotional experience, both the painful and also the joyful.
40:16
SPEAKER_01: So beautiful.
40:16
SPEAKER_01: I love that you bring this up.
40:18
SPEAKER_02: And before we go there,
40:19
SPEAKER_02: I do want to hit on what you said just a little bit more of the like
40:23
SPEAKER_02: when we block our negative emotions,
40:25
SPEAKER_02: we block the positive emotions because I think that is so, so powerful.
40:29
SPEAKER_02: Like that was a huge aha moment for me and really gave me a lot of the courage
40:35
SPEAKER_02: and comfort of,
40:36
SPEAKER_02: okay, I actually do want to practice feeling some of these more uncomfortable ones.
40:41
SPEAKER_02: I'm going to filter out the negative emotions and I'm not going to fill
40:48
SPEAKER_02: with those ones, but I'm going to let myself fill the good ones all the time.
40:51
SPEAKER_02: There is like you are connected to what you're feeling or you're not.
40:55
SPEAKER_02: The door is open or it is closed to letting it come through.
40:58
SPEAKER_02: And so when you close that door off to some of those emotions, you are limiting the
41:04
SPEAKER_02: the positive ones that you can have and so I just love that you brought
41:08
SPEAKER_02: that up I think that's so good but as for Christ being that example
41:12
SPEAKER_02: of them I mean you obviously hear some of the ones of like the anger in
41:18
SPEAKER_02: the temple is like a classic one we look to but I love going to the atonement
41:25
SPEAKER_02: because to me that is the most beautiful experience of it where it's like
41:29
SPEAKER_02: Literally the breadth and depth of every emotion we have felt.
41:33
SPEAKER_02: I think we don't understand the atonement enough because we don't understand emotion enough.
41:41
SPEAKER_02: When we think the atonement is this like ethereal what even was it
41:45
SPEAKER_02: and why did it even matter and how did it even work and what was going on
41:49
SPEAKER_02: and like bring more of the atonement into your life.
41:51
SPEAKER_02: I don't know how to rely on the atonement like
41:54
SPEAKER_02: to me the crux of it is emotion like he was willing to let move through his body all
42:01
SPEAKER_02: of the emotions that we experience and so it's not just like he has some God sense
42:09
SPEAKER_02: of like how it's like to be going through this for me I think part of
42:15
SPEAKER_02: the reason he had to do the atonement was there was something specific
42:20
SPEAKER_02: about his body right God
42:23
SPEAKER_02: Could Know From Some Like God Sense Of Like What It Is And To Comfort You
42:26
SPEAKER_02: And Whatever But Part Of What Makes Christ So Special Is I Think He Felt It
42:31
SPEAKER_02: In His Body The Way We Feel It In Our Body And The Intensity Of All Of Those Things
42:38
SPEAKER_02: And So He To Me Is That Perfect Example Of All Of That In Any Capacity
42:44
SPEAKER_02: And What It Is To Let Ourselves Feel Those Things And The Importance Of That
42:49
SPEAKER_02: And Modeling It For Ourselves
42:51
SPEAKER_02: but I also part of the reason I bring up that phrase is because my one
42:55
SPEAKER_02: of my favorite quotes about the atonement is that Christ can comfort us
42:58
SPEAKER_02: in our sorrow and our pain because he also knows how great our joy can be right and
43:04
SPEAKER_02: when we look at that story of that last week of his life we have kind of his birth
43:09
SPEAKER_02: and his life and teaching and then we enter that last week and you get
43:13
SPEAKER_02: The atonement,
43:15
SPEAKER_02: the crucifixion,
43:16
SPEAKER_02: death, and the rebirth that comes and follows with the resurrection.
43:20
SPEAKER_02: And so seeing that as this integral part of our emotions are what starts
43:25
SPEAKER_02: that process of a new version of ourselves getting born.
43:29
SPEAKER_02: And we're continually moving into the next version of ourselves and the next version
43:33
SPEAKER_02: and the next version.
43:34
SPEAKER_02: And so I think there's a lot to be said about,
43:38
SPEAKER_02: again, that back and forth between if you want to have the joy of
43:43
SPEAKER_02: You Go Through Some Of The Pain And The Sorrow But I Also Think There's Something
43:47
SPEAKER_02: So Powerful And The Chosen I Think Has Done This Beautifully Well In The TV Series
43:55
SPEAKER_02: That Came Out In Just Seeing The Joy He Just Had In Life Like Every Day
44:01
SPEAKER_02: The Monday Like Every Experience Every Person He's Interacting With Everything
44:05
SPEAKER_02: That Is Going On There's Just This Like Happiness In It And I Think That
44:11
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes we think Christ-like or being spiritual or doing
44:15
SPEAKER_02: the righteous things like,
44:17
SPEAKER_02: you know,
44:17
SPEAKER_02: us reverently, quietly and not, you know, too boisterously or too whatever.
44:23
SPEAKER_02: But I think God wants us to feel pleasure,
44:26
SPEAKER_02: wants us to feel joy,
44:27
SPEAKER_02: wants us to play,
44:28
SPEAKER_02: wants us to have fun, wants us to like have the fullness of that human experience.
44:34
SPEAKER_02: And so I think we miss out sometimes on a level of
44:40
SPEAKER_02: Relationship & Connection & Even Worship With God When We Get Too Focused
44:46
SPEAKER_02: On Not Allowing That Positive Feeling To Just Like Spark You Alive And Come Through
44:53
SPEAKER_02: That There's Something Powerful In That Relationship That It Can Hold You
44:58
SPEAKER_02: The Same Spirit That We Feel
45:00
SPEAKER_02: can hold you in the depth of some of the most painful and difficult experiences any
45:04
SPEAKER_02: of us will go through.
45:06
SPEAKER_02: And it can bring that comfort and it can bring that peace.
45:08
SPEAKER_02: It can be this sacred, solemn, beautiful feeling.
45:13
SPEAKER_02: And I think it can also be a pleasure and a delight and a joy and a passion.
45:19
SPEAKER_02: And it's just all of these different expressions of it that we get
45:24
SPEAKER_02: to experience throughout our human life.
45:26
SPEAKER_01: That reminds me of you keep doing this as you explain it.
45:31
SPEAKER_01: And as you're talking, what's coming to my mind is God is love.
45:38
SPEAKER_01: That is a scripture, that God is love.
45:40
SPEAKER_01: What is the greatest joy that we can experience is that feeling of God's love.
45:46
SPEAKER_01: And that's something that we learn about from Lehi's vision of the tree of life.
45:51
SPEAKER_01: The fruit of the tree is God's love.
45:55
SPEAKER_01: And it's the most joyous thing that we can have.
45:59
SPEAKER_01: And so that, anyways, all of that.
46:02
SPEAKER_01: Christ is what embodies these.
46:06
SPEAKER_01: He did embody all of these emotions and he knows how to help us through them.
46:11
SPEAKER_01: And he wants us to be able to experience his love, which is the most joyous thing.
46:16
SPEAKER_01: And Emily,
46:17
SPEAKER_01: so just to kind of wrap up,
46:21
SPEAKER_01: my usual question is,
46:23
SPEAKER_01: you've already given your favorite divine word scripture,
46:25
SPEAKER_01: but I would love if you have another one to share on the previous episode.
46:29
SPEAKER_01: Sorry.
46:32
SPEAKER_01: I'm stumbling over my words.
46:33
SPEAKER_01: You can hear her favorite divine wordscriptor.
46:35
SPEAKER_01: Do you have another one that you would like to share?
46:37
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think for this episode,
46:40
SPEAKER_02: the one in particular that comes to mind is,
46:42
SPEAKER_02: and again, I should have looked it up, but it's in 2 Nephi.
46:45
SPEAKER_02: It's the whole men are that they might have joy.
46:47
SPEAKER_02: And I think that just sums up what you're saying so well,
46:51
SPEAKER_02: that like the joyous thing is having Christ's love and that like that's
46:56
SPEAKER_02: the experience we're getting to have and move through us and getting to delight
47:00
SPEAKER_02: in something.
47:02
SPEAKER_01: That's great.
47:03
SPEAKER_01: And what is one small and simple thing that those listening can do to take action
47:07
SPEAKER_01: on what we've talked about today?
47:09
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
47:11
SPEAKER_02: I want to say, go eat a peach.
47:13
SPEAKER_02: You'll feel better.
47:14
SPEAKER_02: They're so good.
47:16
SPEAKER_02: Fresh ones.
47:16
SPEAKER_02: They're not in season right now.
47:18
SPEAKER_02: We're recording this.
47:19
SPEAKER_02: So probably actually wouldn't bring you as much joy.
47:21
SPEAKER_02: But in all seriousness,
47:23
SPEAKER_02: like making a ritual in my day for just something that I wanted to enjoy
47:29
SPEAKER_02: and like prioritizing that as much as I would
47:32
SPEAKER_02: Reading My Scriptures Or Going To The Gym Or Getting A Good Night's Sleep
47:35
SPEAKER_02: Or Drinking Enough Water Like Am I Actually Giving Myself A Dose Of Just Pure Joy
47:42
SPEAKER_01: So Good And I Think A Lot Of Times Like One Thing That Helps To Be Able
47:47
SPEAKER_01: To Experience It Is Being Present Like Just Focusing In On
47:51
SPEAKER_01: The Present Moment There's An Exercise Called The Beginner's Mind
47:55
SPEAKER_01: Where You Just Look At The Experience That You're Going Through Like As
47:59
SPEAKER_01: If You Were Looking At It For The Very First Time
48:02
SPEAKER_01: and experiencing it the first time and just being like oh what does
48:05
SPEAKER_01: that taste like what does that feel touch it feel and smell
48:09
SPEAKER_01: and just like completely just ask your questions about all these different senses
48:14
SPEAKER_01: and experience it completely yeah yeah yeah I love doing what I call life as
48:21
SPEAKER_02: a movie too where you get to kind of like
48:25
SPEAKER_02: Zoom out a little bit and whatever is going on in your life and view it as
48:28
SPEAKER_02: if you're watching a movie and it's so fun to see that because then all of
48:32
SPEAKER_02: a sudden like my kids become the characters or like I'm interacting in it
48:36
SPEAKER_02: and it's just like again helps us shift our focus
48:39
SPEAKER_01: and how we're doing things Emily thank you so much for coming today and
48:45
SPEAKER_01: for doing part two with me and and diving more into this absolutely thank you
48:50
SPEAKER_02: so much for having me back it was wonderful so anytime
48:55
SPEAKER_00: If you have found this podcast to be a light,
48:58
SPEAKER_00: please share it with others and or leave a review,
49:00
SPEAKER_00: which helps others find the podcast as well.
49:02
SPEAKER_00: To learn more about your divine worth and potential,
49:05
SPEAKER_00: you can download some free scripture cards focused on your worth
49:08
SPEAKER_00: at karenpapin.com forward slash scripture cards.
49:12
SPEAKER_00: That's k-a-r-e-n-p-a-p-i-n.com forward slash scripture cards.
49:19
SPEAKER_00: You are of worth.
49:21
SPEAKER_00: You have a purpose.
49:22
SPEAKER_00: The Lord loves you and he believes in you.
49:24
SPEAKER_00: And only you can make the impact on this world that you are meant to make.
49:29
SPEAKER_00: Join me next time as we talk more about divine worth and potential.