Latest / MIDDLE GROUND - Real Conversations on Faith, Identity & Becoming — Through Brynne's LDS Lens of Curiosity, Love and Doubt / Giving Biblical Women Voices: Inner Authority, Wholeness & Divine Feminine — Kristi Garcia

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Giving Biblical Women Voices: Inner Authority, Wholeness & Divine Feminine — Kristi Garcia · MIDDLE GROUND - Real Conversations on Faith, Identity & Becoming — Through Brynne's LDS Lens of Curiosity, Love and Doubt

• Brynne Erickson (01:09) Christy Garcia, how are ya my friend? Kristi Garcia (01:12) I'm so good, Brynn. Thank you. I'm so excited to be here with you. Brynne Erickson (01:16) So am I. Thanks for being here. Kristy is a friend that I found through the Elevated Mother Collective. And she is a poet and an artist, but wears many hats. I know she's done public speaking in the past. Not sure you're still doing that, but a beautiful writer and just a light enjoy in this world. So Kristy, what else do you do? Kristi Garcia (01:36) Yes, I am. Um, yeah, so I've done some public speaking. Um, I'm a mom, um, I'm a lifelong learner. I've gone back to school again for my third degree. I've been nursing school right now. be, yeah, I'll just keep learning the rest of my life. Um, but yeah, I just, I, yeah, so that's why I've been a teacher. I've been in public health. I'm a medical interpreter. Brynne Erickson (01:57) my gosh. Are you really? I did not know that. I love it. Kristi Garcia (02:15) and now going to nursing school. And all of that just informs my writing, informs my poetry, my public speaking, all of that. Brynne Erickson (02:19) amazing. Before we get too far from that, how do you find the time to do all these things? What's the secret? Kristi Garcia (02:35) ⁓ creative negotiations. You know, the star wars quote, you know, aggressive negotiations from Padme. And that's how I feel is like, okay, you know, today it gets to be, I'm negotiating for more time with my daughter and today I'm negotiating for more time for my homework and to study for my test and, to do the things. And it's just been really intentional every day about, what's the priority and, but also like, how do I feel? Brynne Erickson (02:42) huh. Kristi Garcia (03:06) Like, I can know that I do have this deadline and I have to get this done, but I also know that my daughter is starting to feel sick and, you know, and my body is saying, you know, you need to spend time with her. So there's, there's always kind of that tuning in to my spirit, myself of, what's the priority today, even though on paper that may not feel like the priority. Brynne Erickson (03:30) That is said so perfectly because I feel exactly the same way. Have you always operated that way? Kristi Garcia (03:36) I'm that is, I think I've gone through periods of being really in tune with that with maybe without having some of that language to describe what I was doing. And then I definitely have had periods where I wasn't where I was really out of tune. Because I was like, I need the checklist is so important. And that's that's most efficient or that's keeps me focused or and I kind of like shushed my intuition shushed my inner knowing. Without realizing it again. Brynne Erickson (03:47) There you go. Mm-hmm. Kristi Garcia (04:08) And now that I just have a little bit more awareness and knowledge about it, I know what's going on and I trust myself a little bit more. And so I think I'm more in a good balance with that in general. Brynne Erickson (04:15) Mm-hmm. Very cool. Yeah, it's definitely a conscientious decision. And then it takes practice. Kristi Garcia (04:27) for sure. Brynne Erickson (04:29) So I love that. Cool. Well, you're doing great things. And we're going to dive in about your newest book that came out last year, your book of beautiful poetry that I am so excited to share with the world, and then your book that will be coming out at a further date that I got to partake of the manuscript. So I'm really excited to talk about these awesome, awesome things. ⁓ But let's kind of start from where I met you. And I know that this was kind of the beginnings for your writing as well. Kristi Garcia (04:44) Yes! Me too. Brynne Erickson (04:58) So you stepped into this world of helping Christian women, not just through your poetry. Can you tell us a little bit more about that? Kristi Garcia (04:58) Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. The same space that you and I were introduced to each other, the Elevated Mother Collective, the Elevated Mother Experience in a coaching program for Christian mothers. ⁓ It was right after my little girl was born. So she was like, any baby, a couple months old when I joined the space, because I just felt a little stuck. Like I've always been an ambitious person, always been a goal setter. Brynne Erickson (05:18) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Kristi Garcia (05:36) And I just like, why can't I break through some walls and achieve some of these things that I know I'm capable of doing? you know, I believe that God puts the right people in our lives at the right time. And I was connected with Robin, the founder of that space and all the beautiful women in that space. And I mean, it wasn't very long that I was in the space that I was like, I am meant to uplift and support other women. Brynne Erickson (05:39) Mm-hmm. Kristi Garcia (06:07) Like you have you ever had an experience that you're like, oh, that is a part of my soul that I didn't recognize until now. And that was definitely, I mean, I had, I still have lots of growth and awarenesses, you know, so I had a lot of inner work to do in that space. But one of the beautiful gifts that I wasn't expecting going into a coaching program for myself was to realize that that was part of my calling was to turn around and then Brynne Erickson (06:07) Yep, I felt that too. Mm-hmm. Mm. Kristi Garcia (06:34) I love the imagery of like, if you're climbing up a mountain, you know, I think sometimes we think of coaches or, or motivational speakers of just being at the top of the mountain and saying, you can do it. I believe in you. And, and to actually see a different model, like practiced by Robin, but Sherit, Missy, other women in the space, you Brynn, cause you were there before me. Um, that the model is actually like, no, I'm just like two steps ahead of you up the mountain. And I'm turning around and lifting my hand back down and saying, Oh, Brynne Erickson (06:45) Mm-hmm. Yeah. Kristi Garcia (07:03) That's a tricky spot. Let me help you. Right? Instead of like, I want to position myself as the expert and the authority and you just do what I tell you to do. And the space just was like, actually, let's create a safe space where you can be vulnerable and actually get in tune. Kind of like that skill we were just talking about. How about we help you be safe so you can be in a space to realize, this is a line for me and that's going to be different for Brynn. Brynne Erickson (07:06) Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Kristi Garcia (07:33) that's going to be different for you and that's okay. Right? And so it like, yeah, it just lit something up inside of me. was like, I want to be on the mountain lifting up other women behind me. Brynne Erickson (07:45) Yep. Yep. And it was so empowering. I had a very similar experience to you and I'm so grateful for Robin and her work. actually got to interview her as one of my first episodes and it's so powerful talking about contrast in our lives. That was one of my favorite things that she taught me and it served me so, so well. Kristi Garcia (07:49) Mm-hmm. Yes, I heard that one. Yes. Mmhm. I agree, 100%. Brynne Erickson (08:09) Awesome. So let's dive into women who knew. And I have requested that Christy share her favorite poem or one of her favorites. I'm sure she has many because she wrote them all. So just to kind of give you an idea of what it's like before we talk about it, I thought that that would be a powerful way to kind of kick it off. So which one did you choose for us, Christy? Kristi Garcia (08:21) Too many. Okay. Yeah, I pulled up like three because I was like, I don't know which one I choose. I was like, I'll just feel it in a moment. So I'm going to share my poem about Sarah from the Old Testament. And so it's entitled Sarah's Heartache. Brynne Erickson (08:35) Right? ⁓ Alrighty. Kristi Garcia (08:51) So it reads, When I was young, the stars above seemed countless, yet small enough to hold in my hands. I dreamed of suns, of nations springing from my room, of laughter filling my tent. Abraham whispered God's promises to me, as sure as the rising sun, as vast as the desert sand. But the years stretched long, and my arms stayed empty. The stars felt further. the sands of time slipping through my fingers. I laughed then, not in joy but in bitterness. Could the God of heaven truly see me? Could he remember my name, a barren woman whose hope was dried and brittle? And yet I stayed. Through the wandering, through the waiting, through the ache of each passing season, and the unspoken questions in Abraham's eyes, did he wonder too? Did he question God as I did in the silent hours? Still I followed. When Hagar bore a son, my heart splintered. Had I failed him? Had I failed God? I thought Ishmael might heal the gap, bridge the ache, but the pain lingered, a thorn pressing deeper with each year. Was this my punishment for doubting, for grasping at promises I thought were slipping away? Then the messengers came. Three strangers, dust on their feet and a promise on their lips, Sarah shall have a son. The word seemed foreign, impossible. I laughed again. But this time it was the sound of a heartbreaking open. Could it truly be? And then at last Isaac came. The son of my old age, the fulfillment of the stars, the joy of my years. His name meant laughter. for God had turned my disbelief into a song of trust. I held him close, the child of the promise, and I knew God was faithful. But faith is not without cost. When Abraham took him to the mountain, I did not go. I stayed behind, kneeling, praying, wishing. Would the God who gave him now take him away? Could I still trust? And yet he was spared. My Isaac returned, and in that moment I saw God's promises endure, even when the waiting is long, even when hope falters, even when my laughter turns to tears. Now I rest beneath these stars, the same stars that seem so distant, and I know they aren't mine, each one a promise fulfilled. The mother of nations, the wife of Abraham, God saw me, God remembered me, and I will laugh forever in His grace. Brynne Erickson (11:48) So beautiful, so powerful. And I love how you gave these women voices. Like, I love how each one is written from their perspective, not about them. But like, if they were here telling their story, you gave them a voice. And I am so excited to hear how this process was for you. And I'm not one to like ever pick a poetry book. Kristi Garcia (11:51) Thank you. Right. Brynne Erickson (12:17) But this book, I just can read and read and read, because it's simple. It's relative, incredibly relative. And it's just so inspiring and lovely. So I'm so glad that you have shared this with the world, Christy. Kristi Garcia (12:39) I thank you so much for sharing that. love that. I love to hear how it impacts the people who read it. And I do hear that a lot, like, this is so relatable. I'm like, I get that poetry is not for everybody. But that was something that was really important to me, like you mentioned, like that this was from them. It was their voice, not just something else about them. Brynne Erickson (12:52) Right. Right. Yes. And you did an amazing job. I was shocked at the theme of infertility and how for how many women is that our story or at least a part of our story. Right. Kristi Garcia (13:10) Hahaha! Right? And I think I had known that before, I mean, because I experienced miscarriages and fertility quite a journey, welcomed my daughter via surrogacy, right? So that's something in my personal experience. But if you look back at the scriptures, that's woven into so much of the women's stories that we are told, that are the story with the woman playing a more central role has to do with her fertility, right? Brynne Erickson (13:44) Absolutely. Kristi Garcia (13:46) at first, you can read some interpretations out there about how patriarchal society or the men writing the scripture, you know, the importance we placed on posterity and generations and that that was status and that the worthiness of women tied to their fertility, right? Like we could go down that path. And I'm not saying that there's not some truth there, some historical perspective there, but it's also And I mean, we can talk more about this. Like it was really eye-opening for me and to just realize, you know, women, we meet God differently than men and often through our bodies. And I think one of the most significant feminine experiences is that of being a portal to bring new life into this world, right? That capacity, that power. And so, Brynne Erickson (14:39) Yeah. Kristi Garcia (14:42) However, it is shared, told, labeled in the scriptures ⁓ for women to whatever that looks like for anybody, whether you want to have kids, you don't, whatever. It's an incredible power that we have. And so I think it is instructive that there are so many stories that touch on that, that talk about that in the Bible, because I think it's really indicative of Brynne Erickson (15:00) Mm-hmm. Kristi Garcia (15:11) the experiences of women. Does that make sense? Brynne Erickson (15:15) ⁓ I guess, what do you mean indicative of the experiences of women? Can you elaborate on that? Kristi Garcia (15:21) Yeah, absolutely. If men have to go meet God outside of themselves, they have to go up the mountain to meet God, the hero's journey. The men need to go outside of themselves, conquer, prove, come back home triumphant. ⁓ And God meets women where they are at. The heroine's journey is an internal journey. Brynne Erickson (15:30) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Kristi Garcia (15:52) of coming home to themselves, claiming themselves, and God meets us there. So how many examples in the scriptures that God comes to the woman? He doesn't say, please go out in the wilderness for 40 days and fast, which is not a bad thing, right? But that's not how we, the pattern we see of God communicating with women. Where does he come? He comes in their home. He comes at the well, right? places where they're going about in their daily life, right? And if I think about my life, what have been my most powerful experiences with God? Yes, I've had some that I put myself in a sacred place, but so more often has it been 2 a.m. rocking my baby in a nursery, in my kitchen washing dishes, right? Like God, the pattern I'm seeing is that God comes to women where we're at, because our journey of discipleship of Brynne Erickson (16:35) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Kristi Garcia (16:51) reading God is within our bodies, right? It's within ourselves. Like the issues that women face of questioning our worthiness, of self-doubt, so many things like that, like those are inner demons. And so the heroine's journey, and if you look at like the Gospel of Mary Magdalene, she talks about this inner journey. And I think that's just that we see that pattern in the scriptures of God saying, Brynne Erickson (16:55) Interesting. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Kristi Garcia (17:19) I need you to look within, I need you to come home to yourself so then you can partner with God, right? And so what I like, you brought up the theme of infertility that we see in the scriptures. There's so much again that we were not given the side from the women, But I just know personally how humbling that was, how vulnerable that is, Not just to have something that you- Brynne Erickson (17:22) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Kristi Garcia (17:47) that you want and then it's not being fulfilled, But to feel betrayed by your body, to feel angry at your body, you know, when it's supposed to be this gift and it's supposed to be this beautiful portal and creator and my body was not cooperating. And so I saw that theme throughout of just the women saying, okay, I've been given this body. And instead of saying that it's a barrier, Brynne Erickson (17:54) Yeah. Mm-hmm. Kristi Garcia (18:16) between me and God? What if instead it's the medium through which God speaks to me? explore that in my newer book. Brynne Erickson (18:23) Did you? Yes, and that is just so beautiful. And I'm glad you did all the work to discover this for me and share it with me. Because I'm not one that may ever finish the Bible cover together. So thank you, Christy, for doing that. I'm working on it. It is a goal that I have, but I have yet to do it. So it's so good. So what is your book? Kristi Garcia (18:36) You're my That's good. You Brynne Erickson (18:56) women who knew and what inspired it then. Kristi Garcia (19:00) So it is like we've been talking about it's a collect. It's a poetry collection of first-person poems from women in the scriptures. I say it like that from them Because it started if you're familiar with the Christmas song Mary. Did you know? I Like I said, I love to write poetry. I've written it, you know, probably since high school just as a creative outlet published a little collection like way back in college and every once in a while I've written Christmas or poems for Christmas to like give out as gifts, like something just like personal and little and you know and so I'd heard that song again not that it was new to me but I heard the song again what is this end of 2024 and just was like oh what would Mary say in response Brynne Erickson (19:38) That's clever. Kristi Garcia (19:57) Like this is someone asking Mary, like Mary, did you know that the child you carried was the savior of the world? Did you know this was all going to happen? And I just had a spark of like, what would Mary say back? Like how much did she know? And so the first poem I wrote is called Mary's Response. And it's actually Mary responding to that song. And then when I tell you that like, it was a sacred experience writing this book, Bryn, honestly, is that it just like poured out of me. then was like, well, what would, what would so-and-so say? Like if I asked them to tell me this story from their perspective, from their experience, right? Knowing that I was maybe taking some creative liberties of, you know, things that are not explicit in canonized scripture. ⁓ But like I said, it was pretty sacred because there was a lot of prayer involved of like Brynne Erickson (20:45) For sure. Yeah. Kristi Garcia (20:57) almost to the point where I almost felt like he was like channeling the spirit of not that I'm going to say that like the spirit speaking to me or anything. But that's kind of what it felt like of like if they had a message to share or if there was something from their experience that would serve me now as a modern Christian woman trying to figure out my discipleship, my faith, what would they say? Brynne Erickson (21:08) Yeah. Kristi Garcia (21:26) I wrote the whole book laying in bed next to my toddler after I got her to sleep. I would just get out my phone and be like, who's my next woman? What does she have to say to me? Yeah, so that's kind of how it came about. And it poured out of me in three months, four months. Brynne Erickson (21:32) Wow. How beautiful. Wow, and there's how many poems in the book? Kristi Garcia (21:49) ⁓ I knew you were gonna ask me this. Like ⁓ 48 or 49? Brynne Erickson (21:52) It's okay. Okay, yeah, I have the book in front of me, but I'm not finding the page. Okay, ⁓ sheesh. So how did you pick the women or did they pick you? Or did you just kind of like think of the women that you're familiar with and it would come to you? What was your process like? Kristi Garcia (21:59) It's okay. I'd Kind of all of that all combined. ⁓ because at first it was like, okay, who's coming to me? Who has something that they would share with me? And then it was a little bit more systematic of like, well, have I asked so-and-so? Like, like I was calling my friends. have I called up Martha? Have I called up Priscilla? You know what I mean? Like, I think I really became friends with these women in the process. Brynne Erickson (22:20) Mm-hmm. my gosh, that's fabulous. Yes. that's so good. Yes. Kristi Garcia (22:44) And ⁓ so, yeah, so there was a bit like, did I make a list of women? Absolutely. And went through and was like, ⁓ do they have more to say? I mean, most of them just have one poem. But ⁓ Mother of Christ, Mary, she has two poems and then Mary Magdalene has four. And ⁓ because she had a lot more to say. She had a lot to say, guys. ⁓ Brynne Erickson (23:08) She had a lot to say. you Kristi Garcia (23:13) And I thought I was being pretty comprehensive. I mean, there were a couple that I intentionally didn't choose, like Delilah, just because I was like, I sat with it for a minute. Like, am I feeling like I need to share something about her story? And at that time I wasn't. I'm not saying she doesn't have something to say, but there aren't lessons to be learned. But I sat with it, like really both like spiritually and practically, like went through my scriptures. Am I forgetting anybody? Things like that. Brynne Erickson (23:30) Mm-hmm. Kristi Garcia (23:43) ⁓ but then like where I'm in final publication, like it's submitted to the publisher, like, but before the release date, I, I woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat brain and I was like, I forgot Noah's wife. I'm just like, my heart broke a little bit because I was like, I forgot her and that's okay. Cause I have since written a poem for her and it's part of my new Brynne Erickson (23:56) For real? Kristi Garcia (24:12) monthly poetry collection. But so I think there's still women that have more things to say. I've since I've kept writing poetry since then it's slowed down, but there's still messages that we can learn from them beyond my first 50 poems. So Brynne Erickson (24:23) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. Very cool. That is just really cool. And I love how you just downloaded it all, and it all came to you. And I'm learning that there is a lot about the concept of where you put your focus. That's where you receive more about whatever it is, whatever you're focusing on. So be careful where you're spending your time and your focus. Kristi Garcia (24:36) Yeah. Yes. Brynne Erickson (25:01) but I have no doubt that when we feel spiritually called to something that it is for us and there's something about us doing it in our way that is powerful. That would be different than anyone else writing a poetry book or having a calling right in your ward at that time with those specific people in that specific setting. And yeah, I think it's cool. That's one of my favorite things about. Kristi Garcia (25:16) Absolutely. near percent. Brynne Erickson (25:30) being on the team of discipleship. Like, OK, how can you use me? Like, I'm open. I'm available. Let me know. And I'm there. So it's pretty cool. That's one of my favorite things about the community of Latter-day Saints. It's pretty great. Thanks. So what have you learned about yourself and these women in this process? Kristi Garcia (25:36) you I love that. So many things. I think writing these poems slowly changed how I saw myself as a woman of God. it really, think poetry kind of became the doorway to me to almost like this next step of the mission, right? That it unfolded to like, I have a mission kind of like coaching and helping other women, but specifically around Brynne Erickson (26:12) Mmm. Kristi Garcia (26:21) I started to ask the question like, well, what does it look like to be a female disciple of God? What does it feel like in my body to be a woman disciple of God? And does that matter? Right? So it kind of like opened up all these, these other things that were really important, right? Not just for me. ⁓ but I also, another thing that I learned, I feel like to just really, not just like, believe it, but like feel it, that these women weren't just passive side characters in the scriptures, in the story of God, but that they are courageous participants, right? Even if the story that's shared and recorded is not fleshed out, right? If they're not made central in our canonized scripture, it doesn't mean that they weren't. Brynne Erickson (26:59) Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Kristi Garcia (27:21) right? And that their story wasn't the most miraculous and the most beautiful and they might have the exact lesson that I need right now for my life. Right? And I'm not saying that I don't take some of those beautiful lessons from men in the scriptures because I do, right? I love so many prophets and apostles and things like that, but inhabiting a female body. Brynne Erickson (27:32) Mm-hmm. Kristi Garcia (27:50) here in mortality, right? I think I've always had a question since I was little about like, well, what about the women? How did they feel about that? Would they have thought the same thing? Would they have responded the same to Christ? know, just because I think women, we think about things differently. We feel things differently, And I love science, Like, hence I'm going back to school the third time in nursing school. Brynne Erickson (27:51) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Kristi Garcia (28:19) And like I said, when I kind of opened up the question of what does it feel like to be a female disciple of God, I went down the science rabbit hole. I'm still down the rabbit hole, guys. I'm in it. We have more sensory nerve endings, right? Our literal physical five senses are heightened, are elevated. Our sense of smell, our sense of... Brynne Erickson (28:31) She's in it. Kristi Garcia (28:49) of sensation is different than men's, So I was like, okay, then I'm obviously taking into account individual difference, So what does that mean for how women feel the spirit or have a spiritual experience? I feel it more amplified in my physical senses versus like an experience all happening in my mind, Brynne Erickson (29:00) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Kristi Garcia (29:17) And how many times have we told women, you're too much, you're hysterical, right? Because we're crying, because we're having more physical manifestations during a spiritual experience. And to be like, wait, what if our biological design is on purpose? Because again, God meets women in their bodies. He meets us in the kitchen, He meets us in the nursery, He meets us. Brynne Erickson (29:22) Mm-hmm. Thank Kristi Garcia (29:47) where we're at. And what if one of the powers is that if we can be really present in our body, like I think of like a tuning fork. If I'm really present in my body, I'm really present with God. Brynne Erickson (29:49) Mm-hmm. Kristi Garcia (30:03) not just because I'm his daughter, not just because I'm a creation of God, but because I'm in tune with my divinity. Right? And so then God can be there more. Brynne Erickson (30:07) Mm-hmm. Kristi Garcia (30:16) Anyway, sorry, like I said, I go down the rabbit hole of getting excited about how my body, my female body was created on purpose the way it was. Brynne Erickson (30:26) Absolutely. Yeah, no doubt. Do you think ⁓ that there are men that could experience it more in their body as well? Yeah. Kristi Garcia (30:36) 100%. Yeah, absolutely. I'm not here. Brynne Erickson (30:40) And it could be the other way around too. Like women could be more in their head or if they're not as emotional or feeling, there's nothing wrong with them. Kristi Garcia (30:46) Absolutely. Right. Like I love what I feel like I can take what I glean from, whether it's human design or like the personality things that give me insight to who I am individually. And I think that's true for anybody, men, women, you kind of take what serves you, what fits for you. And guess what? I know tons of women that are more logical that their experience is more in their mind. Right? Brynne Erickson (30:57) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Kristi Garcia (31:15) And I know Brynne Erickson (31:15) Yeah. Kristi Garcia (31:15) men that are more emotional, that are criers. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I think the just trying to reclaim that that's okay. All of it's okay. When you look at some of the wounding that has happened to women throughout history to say, this is the box of what's spiritually acceptable to feel, to express. This is, this is how you experience God. Brynne Erickson (31:19) Yes. Absolutely. Kristi Garcia (31:44) end of sentence. And so I think it was important to me and that's something I really hope that women take away from my writing, my poetry, my other writing is just that you can come home. You don't have to lose yourself to find God. Brynne Erickson (31:45) Mm-hmm. Mm. Kristi Garcia (32:04) You don't have to disconnect from your body and say, no, it's lesser. It's not valuable in order to be a faithful disciple. You know, you don't have to say, oh, it's too much. I better discount it and not listen to my physical body and sacrifice it in the name of discipleship or faith. Right. I don't, don't believe that God wants us to be silent in order to find God, in order to be good disciples, good Brynne Erickson (32:10) It's not, it's too much. Yeah. Bye. Yeah. Kristi Garcia (32:35) People of faith, right? Whatever your faith might look like. Brynne Erickson (32:38) That's a bold thing to say, Christy. Kristi Garcia (32:41) I'll buy on that hill. ⁓ Brynne Erickson (32:44) Amen, sister. So good. Yeah. And I love the point is, that just figure out what works for you, how you communicate with the divine and what, yeah, how that, what is that process for you? And it takes some experimenting and it takes a lot of, for me, it's taking a lot of trust. Like, okay, was that for real? Like that has been a big one. Kristi Garcia (33:09) yeah. Brynne Erickson (33:14) Like, do I actually trust what I just heard and what I just felt? Like, let's make sense of this feeling because I've been told for a long time that if it doesn't add up, then it's from Satan. So is Satan imitating this really awesome, beautiful, peaceful feeling? Or could this possibly be from God? And working through that process was tricky. Kristi Garcia (33:14) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Brynne Erickson (33:44) but also so worth it. I'm so grateful I didn't give up and that I just trusted in God, in the process and so grateful for all the amazing people that I was guided to in my life, including all of you ladies with elevated mother and every step has been set before me as I have intentionally been seeking truth and answers and light. And that has just been a really cool process. And it sounds like it has been kind of the same for you. Like you said, writing this, joining the collective, writing the poetry book, which now inspired your journey of becoming a nurse and this other book that you're writing. It's just so cool that when we're willing with faith to take that next step, not knowing why other than we feel that it's the next right thing. And it has, it's never failed me. Like even if it doesn't pan out perfectly or there isn't, doesn't, it fizzles out in a way I didn't really want it to. Like it served a purpose for me at that time. Kristi Garcia (34:58) Right. Yeah, this concept of self-trust. That was something in elevated mother community that was really introduced to me. Like, do I really trust myself? Or am I second guessing? Am I seeking for external validation? Am I outsourcing my authority and my power to someone outside of myself? Whether that's a priesthood authority, a church authority, a spouse, God even. Brynne Erickson (35:01) Yes, there we go. Kristi Garcia (35:28) And that's something that I explore more in my next book that I'm writing about just this idea of like inner authority and higher authority, That I think for so long, it was like, well, I do have this inner spark, like whether you call it the light of Christ, whether you call it, you know, your spark of divinity, like my intuition, Whatever we call it, there's lots of different voices or labels we can call it. I always thought of it as like a hierarchy, That like, Brynne Erickson (35:39) Yes. Kristi Garcia (35:56) authority of God is at the top. Nothing else can be at the top. And that if I receive personal revelation or I feel intuitive about something, have a gut feeling, that's kind of secondary. Maybe it can confirm the truth of something from God, right? But almost like it couldn't stand on its own feet, right? And what I'm super grateful, and again, this is, there's some personal application here. Brynne Erickson (35:56) Absolutely. Mmm. Kristi Garcia (36:25) but also hill I'm willing to die on, Wren, is that I feel what God taught me is that there's actually not a lesser authority here, right? That God's authority and my authority as a divine being, daughter of God, are the same power, the same authority in two different channels. And I love the visual of a lighthouse, It has to have an upper and a lower light. Brynne Erickson (36:27) Love it. Yes, let's hear it. Yep. Amen. Kristi Garcia (36:55) And the upper light guides the boat into the right space. Like come over here. Come home safely. But if you don't have the lower light and they don't line them up correctly, the ship will still wreck onto the rocks. Because it can't see part of it in front of it. Can't see part of the way home. Right? for simplicity's sake. And so just this idea like... Brynne Erickson (37:14) Hmm. Mm-hmm. Kristi Garcia (37:23) the upper and the lower light or just, you know, and again, that still kind of makes a hierarchy, Upper and lower, higher and lesser, But it's really about alignment for me is what I've learned. Is that okay? Like instead of validating my intuition, my inner authority, am I just coming into alignment for me, For my path home, my path home to myself, my path home to God, Brynne Erickson (37:28) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Kristi Garcia (37:49) And Like I said, I'll die on that hill of that. Each of us get to come to this self-trust of this is my inner authority and this is true for me. And can at the same time, can I believe in absolute truth? Can I believe in the authority of God in eternal truth? And then just find alignment between the two. Brynne Erickson (37:59) Hmm. Very powerful stuff. So what is this book that you're writing then? Kristi Garcia (38:14) about that all day. It's called feminine discipleship. And it really just picks up right where I left off with Women Who Knew. If Women Who Knew was like talking, the women of the Bible talking to me saying, hey, this is what I learned. I said, okay, let's take those lessons and see if we can figure out where we kind of lost some of that. And so I spent a little bit of time talking about the history and the wounding. Like how did we kind of get here? How did we forget that? But I, there's, other really amazing women, shout out to all the women who have been doing this work before, um, who call out the wounds, who call out the injustices of, of in, within religion, within patriarchal systems. But that's not where I felt like I needed to spend my time. I said, okay, if I'm a woman who wants to know what it feels like to follow Christ in a female body. and why that might be important for my faith journey, for my alignment, and what does that look like? And so the book is really a guide for other women who want to navigate a path of how can I have an inner authority and really become more whole in myself? I think there's definitely an underlying thread or theme of wholeness in the book, Rather than of Let's reclaim some of the places we've been like misunderstanding, right? For example, that like I mentioned that women of faith should be humble and submissive and less than and quiet and right, which while meek and humble are good Christ like virtues, There's been kind of a perversion, Like let's just make women's place in organized religion in Brynne Erickson (40:02) Mm-hmm. smaller. Kristi Garcia (40:15) smaller, less than, right? You shouldn't speak up, you shouldn't contradict authority, things like that. Exactly, right? You're a side character. And I, so I went back and I said, actually, that's not what God says at all. If I study the scriptures like this, if I'm looking at the women, what does Christ do in his ministry? He elevates women. He honors them. He brings them to the forefront. Brynne Erickson (40:22) Your supportive role only. Mm-hmm. Kristi Garcia (40:44) Because by the time he got there, we'd lost some of the wholeness of how God feels about his daughters, be honest. And Christ was like, no, no, no, let's bring it back. So we see a lot just in his mortal ministry, but also studying back, who was the first person to name God? Hagar, Not Abraham, not Noah, you know, like... Brynne Erickson (40:50) Absolutely. Kristi Garcia (41:12) least what we have in the scriptures, right? The women of the scripture are just as powerful, We are equal in our worth, in our value, in our power before God. And so to really go back and pick it apart and say, okay, let's give ourselves a guide to kind of reclaim this wholeness, I'm not actually trying to steal the podium from men and take over Brynne Erickson (41:14) Right. you Absolutely. Mm-hmm. Kristi Garcia (41:40) and say, women are better, we should be in charge. And I think you and I were messaging about this, that right now there's a lot of buzz about the matriarchy needs to come back and take back over. Which I get it, I love me some women. Right, like I have all women power, but I actually don't think that that's God's design, right? Like I'm not. Brynne Erickson (41:43) Yeah. Mm-hmm. For sure. Yeah. Yes. It's not this power, it's not superior. Like no one needs to be greater than each other. It's that equally yoked concept, I think. Kristi Garcia (42:09) Right. Hierarchy. Yes. Hierarchy is a man-made concept. It's a perversion of God's order and structure that God did create to say, let's do some division of responsibility here. Right? And then men perverted it for power, for control, right? To say someone needs to be Brynne Erickson (42:19) I agree. Yes. Yes. There we go. Kristi Garcia (42:38) Superior, better, right? Rather than just different, different roles, different power, right? The delegation. Exactly. And so if we take that out, like, what then, if I can kind of take myself out of that man-made system, what does it look like as a feminine disciple to reclaim wholeness, right? Can I be both strong and soft? Brynne Erickson (42:38) better. have different roles. Yes, there you go. It's the delegation system. It has nothing to do with better. There you go. Okay. Kristi Garcia (43:07) What does it look like to be a woman of faith as a leader, That doesn't try and imitate a man and how he leads, how do I lead like me? So those are things that I explore throughout the book. So hopefully that women could take home and say like, this helps me come home to myself and deepen my relationship with God as a disciple. Brynne Erickson (43:32) Have you done any research on women leaving organized religion for this reason? Or not really? Yeah? What have you discovered? Kristi Garcia (43:38) Yes. Yes. I I don't know if I've done as much of you have done just in your podcast this year. ⁓ But also, I mean, I have some siblings who have left organized religion. ⁓ Even I think this is how I kind of start out my book is that ⁓ as a young adult, I had some women that I really looked up to. Brynne Erickson (43:48) Not too much, no. Kristi Garcia (44:08) that I really idolized as really strong women, not just in their faith, but also in their careers, their business, their spiritual gifts, all sorts of things. And they started to kind of go down the rabbit hole of like, I'm going to explore the divine feminine. And next thing you know, they're leaving organized religion. And so I had kind of this panic and this fear. was like, slamming that door closed. Obviously, that doesn't leave me where I want to go. ⁓ Brynne Erickson (44:14) on their own. Hmm. Little did you know. Kristi Garcia (44:38) that I know. ⁓ Because I was seeing someone else's choices, but because there were like three women kind of right in a row of women that I really loved and looked up to and then to see them kind of take that path for them. It kind of, I want to say that I was like proud of them, but honestly in the moment I was afraid. I was mad. Like what does that mean? Brynne Erickson (44:54) Yeah. you Kristi Garcia (45:07) for me, am I like blind to some truth or like, are they deceived? Are they misguided? Right? And it really wasn't until I came into the elevated mother space that I felt like I could be safe and vulnerable enough to explore something without being like, well, that automatically means that I'm going to leave my organized religion if I peek into this topic. And I think it kind of goes back to what we were saying. Brynne Erickson (45:08) Yeah. Yeah. Kristi Garcia (45:35) of what I have seen. This is just my research and my observations. This is not judging anyone else. It's just that I think it's very tempting when we've had some spiritual wounding in organized religion, especially as women, and then we discover, ⁓ actually that's not what God intended. God sees me as this beautiful whole amazing. Brynne Erickson (45:44) Christie's, yes. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Kristi Garcia (46:03) creation, daughter of Him, who has this spark of divinity, who has this inner authority, what we see is a lot of women being like, okay, then great. I get to pursue a spiritual path led by my inner authority, right? I don't need that organization. I don't need that structure, That's cumbersome. That's man-made, right? That's just what I hear. And they start to kind of only do the inner authority, And then we also have Brynne Erickson (46:05) Mm-hmm. Hmm. Yeah. Kristi Garcia (46:32) other people, ⁓ other good, well-meaning everyone, I think does things in the best with what they know, with how they feel, with what they've been given. I absolutely believe that about everyone. ⁓ but there's like, okay, I can't listen to an inner voice. It's too human. It's mortal, right? I don't trust an inner gut feeling, That's fleeting. That has no credibility. Brynne Erickson (46:42) Absolutely. Kristi Garcia (47:01) I only will listen to religious authority, who I have decided is my religious authority, But then they almost don't have an inner compass. I'm like, hmm, that doesn't feel right in my body. Or I believe this doctrine, but now this leader who I've said that I really believe, whatever that looks like, I mean, not just out in the LDS church, but other Christian faiths, you know, they're the pastor. It can be a big leader, a small leader, whatever. And they say something that either you're like, I'm going to ignore that. I don't. I'm not going to listen to what my body is saying. ⁓ And then we build up kind of some resentment. like, I'm just going to throw it all away because this is obviously not true. This obviously led to some harm, more harm than good. And so we see kind of people go in both ways of like, Brynne Erickson (47:33) Mm-hmm. Yeah. Kristi Garcia (47:59) I'm going to cling to higher authority. What God said in the scripture, that's the only interpretation because that's what my leader said. That's the only interpretation. Right. And we get, and then we get into some conflicts that we can't resolve. And then people, women, men, anybody can say, this is obvious. I'm going to throw up my hands. This is obviously not for me. Or they say, Brynne Erickson (48:09) Yeah. Yeah. Kristi Garcia (48:28) I'm just going to follow this inner authority that I've now discovered because now it feels so good to have self-trust. I don't need this structure, this organization. And I think in the research that I've done, the writing I'm doing, is that I think they're both necessary and essential, but there does get to be individual adaptations of how those work together in your discipleship, in your journey of faith. Brynne Erickson (48:34) Right. That's a lot for me to think about. Because I agree with you. Right? I agree with you. That's why I'm still doing the church thing. I'm still a very active and participating member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, even though I have found my inner authority. And she's awesome. You're so cute. But, ⁓ Kristi Garcia (48:58) Alright, yeah. We opened a pot of worms! Yeah. As am I. Right. Yes, is. I'll second that. Brynne Erickson (49:27) Yeah, I think there's a balance there. I think I believe in the people, the collective. There's power in that. I'm still trying to understand the systemic part of it, of the organization, the organizational part, and how religion and individual faith and spirituality. Mary, like how do they work together hand in hand and still giving people truly agency and autonomy? And I'm, but I'm not in a rush to figure it out. And I just love every little conversation and every, any little thing I read that gives me another little insight or a little nugget. But what has really guided me is just always taking it for me to heavenly father. And Yeah, working on it, just letting it work on my heart and my mind and journaling about it, praying about it. And then I find peace, even if I don't find an answer. I find peace and I'm okay with the unknown, which was a hard thing to come to, especially in a church where people stand up and say, I know without a doubt X, Y, Z. And then when I didn't know anymore, that really, that really shook me. But I'm really grateful to be in a place where I'm comfortable not knowing. But I am, I do know some other things and they're pretty simple, but they're my everything. And, but yeah, that I, it's nice to hear someone say that like God's power and our power are actually the same. because that is a realization that I've had. If I'm a child of God, when you really think about it, right? If I'm truly a child of God, wouldn't I have what they have? Just inherited it? Kristi Garcia (51:42) Yeah, well, that's one of my favorite. It wasn't my favorite scripture for a long time, but the men are that they might have joy, right? As a serious seeing adult, I was like, that seems a little frivolous, a little lighthearted. Tells you how I was a little uptight, uptight for a long time. I'll just be honest there. I... ⁓ Brynne Erickson (51:50) Okay, I love that one. Hmm. Hmm. No nonsense. Have fun. Kristi Garcia (52:10) yeah, if my sisters listen to this, they'll be like, yeah, Christie's was like the most straight laced black and white for so long, right? Because that gave me so much value and identity, like my moral rigidity. And I can look back and call that, call myself out for where I was with so much love and grace. But when I discovered the footnote on that scripture of that like joy, meaning the potential to become like God, like I was like. Brynne Erickson (52:16) Alright. Okay. you I did not know that. Kristi Garcia (52:41) Right? Like God means the joy. He wants me to have his joy, which is this potential to become a goddess, the potential to create as God does. Right? know, yeah. Brynne Erickson (52:43) Hmm. I love that. And I love that scripture just as it is. I'm like, sweet joy. I love it. I'm all here for it. But that just bring, that just magnifies it. Like not magnifies, but expands it. Like so even so much more power of what joy is. I love how you said that. I'm going to definitely go highlight that footnote in my scriptures right now. Kristi Garcia (53:07) Mm-hmm. Yeah. And you're talking about, you know, those little simple things that you know. And one of the simple things that I've learned, and that is actually still guiding me in my discovery and my study, is do I really believe that God is a God of love? That all the things that he's given me is actually from a place of love? Or do I believe it's from a place of fear and control? Brynne Erickson (53:35) Mm-hmm. Mm. Kristi Garcia (53:49) Or is fear and control actually the man-made perversion that has kind of been put into religion to give control, to give power, right? That hierarchy we're talking about, right? So let me, if I can pull some of that back and get down to the simplest of like, why do I think God gave me this commandment? Why do I think God, like we were talking about, why did God give me this structure, this organization? Well, do I believe that God did that out of love? Brynne Erickson (53:53) Mm-hmm. Yep. Yes. Kristi Garcia (54:19) Okay, right? And then it just like that pattern of thought. If I go back to a loving, perfect father who set things up so beautifully, Then that just changes my pattern of thought, If I start from a place of love, because I can recognize that the fear, the control, any of that is manmade. Brynne Erickson (54:28) Mm-hmm. That's what I've concluded. Yeah, because that's how the natural man operates. Kristi Garcia (54:47) Yeah. ⁓ Right. But if we start saying, well, that's God because that's religion or that's what my translation of the Bible or the preached interpretation of this verse is fear and anger and control. And we can fight that with like, that is God. No wonder people be like, I'm out. Right. Because it doesn't feel true. It doesn't feel like it's in harmony with this inner authority. Brynne Erickson (54:56) Right. Right. Great. right. And that is what I have concluded too. And in fact, when my brother, he was my second episode, one of his big things was all of the damage done by God in the Bible. And he was like, I don't want any part of that. That's not a God I don't want to believe in. So that's just more proof for me to step away. And, I really thought about that. I was like, this can't be like, just trying to make sense of it. And obviously that's me like picking and choosing what I like and what I don't like in the Bible, negotiating with the text to say, right? But it's true as I have come to know God for myself and the relationship that I have, it's always incredibly kind and loving and compassionate. And to think of that being being one of vengeance and superiority and using people to get gain, just doesn't even make sense to me anymore. So that's what I kind of concluded to is I think this, whether they truly believed it was from God or not, it seems more like a power move to me. More like the, what's the opposite of humility? my gosh. There we go. Like, and power. Kristi Garcia (56:39) Yeah. Yeah. Brynne Erickson (56:50) Right? How often have we used the name of the Lord in vain? my gosh, that just came to my mind. Like saying this is for you, but it's actually for their own gain. Yeah. Kristi Garcia (57:03) benefit, yeah. I had a similar realization with we talk about like we believe that we are not, ⁓ that men are responsible for their own sins and not for Adam's transgression. Are they really talking about Adam or are they talking about Eve? Brynne Erickson (57:15) Yes. Kristi Garcia (57:21) Right? Like that, sorry, let me clarify. LDS, that's one of our articles of faith. And I think it's restored doctrine, right? Because how much was the perversion around women being like, Eve is the originator of sin. Her physical body is to blame for all of our mortality and all of our sins, right? And I just like, literally just this last week was like, wait, the reclaiming of that is actually, Brynne Erickson (57:24) Yes. Yeah. Eve, Efsene. Yeah. Yeah. Kristi Garcia (57:50) I'm not responsible for anyone else's choices, mistakes, experiences on this earth, including our, you know, Adam and Eve and anybody else. I'm just responsible for me. This is just me and God. And to me that was just like, Ooh, there's a little healing there around the perversion that we've made around Eve and the blame and the shame that Christianity in general, not necessarily a church of Jesus Christ, because I feel like we have Brynne Erickson (57:57) Yes. Yes. I love that. ⁓ Mmm. Kristi Garcia (58:20) A pretty healthy love for Eve. ⁓ But I think that's healed something that in the Christian world has caused a lot of pain and shame towards women. Brynne Erickson (58:22) Yeah, I agree. Yeah, yeah, very interesting. Wow, such a good conversation, Christy. ⁓ Thank you so much. I am excited for your new book about ⁓ authority and being a feminine female disciple of Jesus Christ. Yeah, that's gonna be awesome. When is that coming out? Do you know? Kristi Garcia (58:44) So excited. I don't have a published date yet. I'm still in talks with some publishers, so I'm excited. But in the meantime, I am doing like a Poem of the Month Club, again, with new poems to add on to women who knew. And I started a sub stack. So doing weekly letters from women in the scriptures and reflections on feminine discipleship, just like we were talking about tonight. So that we can... Brynne Erickson (58:56) Okay. Kristi Garcia (59:21) continue the conversation even before or after the next book comes out. Brynne Erickson (59:28) Okay, lovely. And is there a link that we could put in the show notes for anyone that wants to subscribe to your list? Okay. Okay, we'll add that. And then how else can people find you? You're pretty engaged on social media. Kristi Garcia (59:35) Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I'm on Instagram as Christy Garcia speaks. So you can find me there and that has the link to the sub stack to order women who knew off Amazon, all the places. Brynne Erickson (59:56) Yes, it's a beautiful book too. Like it would be a fun coffee table book if I had a coffee table. Yeah, it's lovely. Kristi Garcia (59:58) Thank you. Yes, the art was definitely a part of it that I wanted to really bring it to life. Brynne Erickson (1:00:09) Yeah, tell us a little bit about that. am curious, how did you get the artwork for your book? Because it is beautiful and diverse. Kristi Garcia (1:00:15) The art work actually started before the poetry. 10 years ago, 12 years ago, my younger sibling, very talented artist, gave me the first couple pieces of art, including what's now the cover. And it was meant to be me surrounded by colors coming out of me. I think it was for my 21st birthday or something like that, my 23rd birthday. Brynne Erickson (1:00:20) Okay. Kristi Garcia (1:00:45) And then they also gave me like the picture of Eve that's in the book. That's just like a charcoal picture of Eve. And I just loved it so much. And I was drawn to it so much that the past 10 years I've been collecting artwork of various artists for, of women in the scriptures. Cause I kind of, even before the voices came, it was like, I... Brynne Erickson (1:01:06) Very cool. Kristi Garcia (1:01:11) really feel aligned with them. I really love the women of the scriptures. And so I probably had, so I would just, would like meet an artist and be like, Hey, do you do this? Or are you interested in that? Like I met a couple when my last college program who did some pictures for me, ⁓ other women in the elevated mother space, a couple of them did artwork for me. And then I finally got to a place of self-trust. Brynne Erickson (1:01:14) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Kristi Garcia (1:01:41) after telling myself for years that I was not an artist. had some of my, you know, siblings, my mother are very talented artists. And I just, okay, that's not my gift. Right. And when I finally got to a place of like, ⁓ I can just create to create and to have enjoy the process. Right. I talk about creativity in the new book too. Right. ⁓ Then, then I was like, how about I just play with it? Brynne Erickson (1:01:44) Okay. Hmm. Mm-hmm. Go figure. Yes, so good. Kristi Garcia (1:02:10) and if I like it. And then I ended up creating a lot more digital art on women and spiritual spirits. Thank you. And that, again, that was a spiritual process too. I'm just like, I can feel their spirits. I can feel the light that these women carried. How can I just translate that into a visual image? Maybe it's not perfect. Maybe it's like really how they looked, but does it share some light, right? The essence, exactly. Brynne Erickson (1:02:15) Mm-hmm, and they're beautiful you Right. Mm-hmm. The essence. Mm-hmm. Kristi Garcia (1:02:39) And so that was really, yeah, I was just super excited. It's not for every single woman, doesn't have a portrait yet. I'll keep working on it. So send me all the artists. I'll commission all y'all. And so that just, just another way to bring their light, their essence in a visual form in the book as well. Brynne Erickson (1:02:51) Perfect shout out, yeah. I love it. Okay, perfect. All right, well, Kristy, this was so great, and we'll have to get back together once your book is released. Kristi Garcia (1:03:13) Yes, thank you, Brynn. I love chatting with you. I love your insights. Thanks for letting me go down the rabbit hole. Brynne Erickson (1:03:20) Absolutely. We're right there with you. Thanks, Kristi Garcia (1:03:23) Thank you.