Latest / Downshift With Tonnika / Burnout Is Killing Great Leaders | Josh Parnell - Ep 21

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Burnout Is Killing Great Leaders | Josh Parnell - Ep 21 · Downshift With Tonnika

• Josh Parnell [00:00:00]: I want my team to treat limitless leadership like it's their baby. The good news is if I, as a leader, can cast a clear vision and provide enough clarity and direction and expectations that allow someone to see the big picture. I've had a couple team members help me expand my own vision because of their capability, competence, and confidence. So that's when I know it is the right fit. Welcome to Downshift with my sis, Tanika Haynes. We all know as shop owners, sometimes you gotta slow down in order to speed up. And that's what this podcast is all about. It's time to downshift. Tonnika Haynes [00:00:41]: So you ready? Look, you've got the podcaster. You're professional at this stuff now. Josh Parnell [00:00:46]: I'm trying to be. I act like it. Tonnika Haynes [00:00:48]: How long have you been doing it? I can't keep up. Josh Parnell [00:00:51]: I started. I started mine May of 23, but I. But I was doing podcasting for Christian Brothers for about two years before that. Tonnika Haynes [00:01:04]: So you've got a formula already? Josh Parnell [00:01:06]: I. I feel more comfortable than I did years ago, but it's still. I still kind of feel like a fish out of water at times. Tonnika Haynes [00:01:13]: I hope to. I hope to get there. So let's get started. Josh Parnell [00:01:17]: Okay. Tonnika Haynes [00:01:18]: You know how this party goes. Josh Parnell [00:01:19]: Yeah. Tonnika Haynes [00:01:20]: Just dive right in. I'm like, I'm not seasoned like you, but we want to start out trying to introduce you to the world before limitless leadership. Tell us who you really were, like, what. What was going on in your life and what pushed you to come this direction. Josh Parnell [00:01:36]: Yeah. Wow. Who I really was. If you knew me 10 years ago, you'd know that I'm not supposed to be doing what I'm doing now. I'll say that. I mean, I was someone who would. I would feel like I would be shaking when I'm speaking in front of multiple people. I don't know that I was actually visibly physically shaking, but I'd be nervous. Josh Parnell [00:01:58]: I mean, I'm still a little nervous, but I think it's because I care. But, you know, I really just kind of fell into the automotive industry by coincidence. A friend of mine worked at Christian Brothers Automotive at the home office, and he reached out and said there was a position opening up and said that he thinks I. I might be a good fit and has he asked if I was interested? And the first thing I mentioned to him was, hey, I'm not a car guy. I don't. I don't know what I can do at Christian Brothers. And he said it was for a training role and I would be working with you know, I'd be training on sales and workflow and the guest experience and things that I can, you know, learn over time. And so, you know, I started in June of 2015, so a little over a decade ago, and learned a lot early on. Josh Parnell [00:02:51]: Learned a whole lot. Really. Really. I didn't have the confidence in myself that I've grown into now. I also didn't feel like I was capable or even competent in the things that I was doing. And so I'm mentioning those three Cs for a reason, because even in my own coaching experience right now, even with clients I work with, we talk about the three C's. Are you capable? Are you competent? Are you confident in who you are and what you do? And a lot of us struggle with this, myself included. I mean, you name any one of those three Cs, we're likely somebody listening or watching this episode, somebody is thinking, yeah, I can use help in any one of those areas. Josh Parnell [00:03:31]: Maybe all three of those areas. And back then, I definitely struggled with all three. And over the course of time and great people who were in my life who gave me a lot of grace in the mistakes I was making and, and the growth I was trying to. To. To maintain and grow into, I've just been able to get comfortable being uncomfortable. And that's really what the last 10 years have been. Has been all about. Like, just living in a place of massive discomfort. Josh Parnell [00:04:00]: Because I am naturally an introvert. I don't thrive. Yeah, you are too. Right? Tonnika Haynes [00:04:07]: Yes. People think I'm telling a story. I'm like, no, I really am. Josh Parnell [00:04:11]: Yeah. I mean, like, Tanika, if you're like me, when we go to these conferences, I mean, we have fun. Like, it's great, and it's. It's great to be around people who are, you know, going through and growing through the same things that we are. But afterwards, like, I have to go back to my room and just. Just relax. Like, I've got to be by myself because it's, you know, I'm. I feel like I'm turning it on for. Josh Parnell [00:04:35]: For hours. And it's just. Tonnika Haynes [00:04:36]: It's. Josh Parnell [00:04:37]: It's. It's draining. Tonnika Haynes [00:04:38]: Yeah. Josh Parnell [00:04:39]: And I love it, but it's draining. Tonnika Haynes [00:04:41]: It is. It is draining. I watched you when we were at Vision. I said where you looked at me like, rap. And I get it, because, I mean, I'll take breaks and just go. Because I can't do this right now. I just cannot do this right now. And it's not a bad thing. Tonnika Haynes [00:04:56]: It's a good feeling. You know, all the people, everybody's wonderful, but I have to go refill my tank or plug myself in or something and not use any words. Tonnika Haynes [00:05:05]: Yeah. Josh Parnell [00:05:05]: There are too many times I feel like I'm pouring from. From an empty cup. And. And the problem with that is I've learned over the years to set and more importantly, keep boundaries. Because if I don't. Because I. Because I naturally want to say yes to everyone and everything. Like, I want to help, I want to serve. Josh Parnell [00:05:23]: And when I do that, I'm saying no to myself. I'm saying no to my family, to Jean Vie, to our kids. And. And there's been too many times that Jean Viej has had to remind me, like, hey, like, we don't want your leftovers. You know, she's literally said that once. And that was. And the first time she said that, that was like a gut punch that I needed to hear because she said she was like, hey, sometimes it feels like we're getting your leftovers. Tonnika Haynes [00:05:44]: Right. Josh Parnell [00:05:44]: And I will not forget that. Like, I. I need. I needed her to say that. And she said it in. In the way only she can, that I. I heard it and I received it. Tonnika Haynes [00:05:53]: Yeah. Josh Parnell [00:05:55]: But there's been times even afterwards where she's reminded me, like, hey, like, you need to shut it down. You know, I'm like, yeah, you're right. Tonnika Haynes [00:06:01]: Right. I. I was feeling that way. And I remember reaching out to Kim Walker, actually, and she sent me a book. And I can't remember the nick. The exact name of it, but it was your best yes. Or maybe it's your best no, but it was like me saying yes to everything. Everyone answering every message immediately, immediately. Tonnika Haynes [00:06:19]: And then I'd go home and just be burnt out. But I did that in the beginning of the shop. You know, when I first started running the business, I'd come home and I'd be burnt out and tired and what not. And I literally would tell my kids, like, mommy needs a timeout. Like, just. I would basically be telling them to leave me alone. I just needed, like, to cut it off. But I never thought that I was just giving them my leftovers. Josh Parnell [00:06:42]: Yeah. I think that, you know, something that she helped me realize was that for every yes, there's a corresponding no. And I think too many times, I was giving too many people my my yes. And I was inadvertently given my family. Speaking of my family. I know. So here she is. Tonnika Haynes [00:07:02]: She's coming to say, is that the Boo Boo. Hey, girl. I will see you in a couple days. How are you? I'm Good. I am so good. Good morning. I can't wait to see you. I cannot wait. Tonnika Haynes [00:07:13]: We're going to. You're going to have so much fun, I'm telling you. I'm so excited. Well, y' all have fun. All right. Bye, honey. Bye. Josh Parnell [00:07:23]: All right, Love you, too. Tonnika Haynes [00:07:24]: That was really good. I mean, so your. Your office is at home. Josh Parnell [00:07:29]: Yeah. Tonnika Haynes [00:07:29]: But you do know how to cut it off now? You know how to just say you had to unlearn that. Like, that is probably sounds like something you had to unlearn in order to. To be a better person for your family and in your business. Because if you just keep doing and doing and going and going and there's no cut, kill switch, then you can burn yourself out. I think a lot of shop owners do that, too. And I just don't want to talk about shop own. That's just people in general, people that like to give well, and you said Josh Parnell [00:07:57]: something that's key and that's burnout. Like, I don't know that I'll ever get burnt out because I love what I do and who I do it with. Tonnika Haynes [00:08:03]: Right. Josh Parnell [00:08:03]: But I definitely get tired. Like, I. I just. I get tired and. And I know that I need to shut it. Shut it off or shut it down sometimes, but I. But I, you know, I struggle because I love doing it. I love what I'm doing, and so I, I. Josh Parnell [00:08:16]: It gives me life, but at the same time, I have to recognize, like, hey, Josh, if you don't take a break right now, if you don't just shut it down right now to give your mind and your body the rest it deserves, then you're not going to grow the way that you need and the way that your clients needs and the way that you're. The community that you're trying to build needs. So give everyone that space. Like, right now, you need to just shut it down and then give yourself some time to. To replenish so that you're not pouring from that empty cup. Tonnika Haynes [00:08:45]: Well, you know what? Everything you say is just perfect. But come on, Josh. Like, did you. Is that in your DNA? Like, when did you hit the brick wall and you had to learn those things the hard way? Or did you? Josh Parnell [00:08:59]: Every day? I mean, I mean, like. I mean, Tanika, here's the thing. Like, I'll say this because I know, I know. Like, this podcast, specifically, like, your podcast, you're like, hey, let's. Let's. Let's ignore what social media sees. Let's ignore what, you know, like, how is it really Going. Tonnika Haynes [00:09:16]: And how's it really going? Josh Parnell [00:09:18]: Yeah, how it's really going is. It's hard. It is the hardest thing I've ever done. Tonnika Haynes [00:09:22]: Like, it is building a team right now. So you got more people on your shoulders. Josh Parnell [00:09:27]: Mm. Well, the way I look at it is, you know, Steve Jobs even said, like, at Apple, we don't hire people to tell them what to do. We hire them so they can tell us what to do. And so the people who I'm bringing on, on the team, I don't actually feel additional weight. You know, I feel a little bit of pressure because I want to make sure that I'm able to provide the things that we've discussed and I want to make sure that I can lay out clear expectations and provide clarity and direction for them. Because we're trying to build a team and then fill their pipeline with, or fill their schedule with clients as well and create more work. But these guys are great at what they like. They're better than I am at these things. Josh Parnell [00:10:09]: And so I'm like, hey, like if, if anything, they're going to make my life a lot easier and it's not going to be the other way around. But the reality is this whole entrepreneurship journey over the last three years has been easily the hardest thing I've ever done. But I'll say this, I have to remind myself, Jean Viej and I are, we're, we're in a blended family, an interracial family. We are dealing with, each have ex, ex spouses, which means that we're co parenting our kids. We are navigating schedules in terms of just custody arrangements. Next year we're going to have four kids in four different schools in two different school districts. We also are trying to grow another business. The Bearded Brotherhood is our other business that we're trying to grow. Josh Parnell [00:10:59]: And, and, and our kids are ages 14, 14, 12 and 9 right now. So, so what I, what I'm saying, like, I, I, I should not expect things to be easy right now. Tonnika Haynes [00:11:10]: Right. Josh Parnell [00:11:10]: That's why I just take things one day at a time. Because it is hard. Like easily the hardest thing I've ever done. Tonnika Haynes [00:11:18]: And like you said, the social media thing, you know, we, we do the podcast, we made the post and we, the pretty pictures. But I really believe, like, I think some people just tripping, they really think that that's real. I mean, it's real for that moment. Okay. Tonnika Haynes [00:11:32]: Yeah. Tonnika Haynes [00:11:32]: But that's just only a snapshot of 24 hours or whatever. And do not look at your Josh Parnell and I'll do. I'm saying this respectfully and think this dude's like, oh, he's a leadership. Listen to him speak. He's got it all together. No, he just told us, man, it's hard. Yeah, but trust me, he said, one day at a time, one minute at a time, one moment at a time. And then I don't want to forget how important what you said was. Tonnika Haynes [00:11:58]: The team that you're hiring, they're just as smart, if not smarter than you, just as good, if not better than you. And that can be scary for some people because you're thinking your business is your baby. And, you know, I want to be in control, and I'm the leader in this limitless leadership. No, it sounds like you're hiring correctly. You're doing it right. Well, of course you're doing it right. You got the blueprint. Josh Parnell [00:12:23]: Yeah, well, I mean, and. And. And I'm. I'm figuring out as I go. But. But you're absolutely right. I. I think that when. Josh Parnell [00:12:29]: When you bring on the right people, in fact, it's kind of like with communication, like, I don't need to be in charge of anything. I don't need to be in control of anything. There. There's a way that I can. That I can be in control of a conversation without controlling the conversation, just like I can be in control of my. Of my team or my life without controlling my team or my life. Like, I want my team to treat limitless leadership like it's their baby. Now, I can't expect everyone to do that because, you know, I've been working at this for years. Josh Parnell [00:13:03]: But the good news is, if I, as a leader, can cast a clear vision and provide enough clarity and direction and expectations that allow someone to see the big picture. The beautiful thing, Tanika, is that I've had. I've had a couple of team members who help me expand my own vision because of their capability, competence, and confidence. So that's when I know there's the right fit. That's when I know, like, these guys on the team right now, like, these are. This is the core group. Now, realistically, if you know, just based on the way things typically go, we have four. We have five people on the team right now. Josh Parnell [00:13:43]: So me plus four others. Yeah, so. So me plus four others right now. And. And technically, I mean, because Jean Vie, does she. She's. She's had a client with limitless leadership now for a little over two years. So technically, she would actually be the sixth. Josh Parnell [00:13:57]: But. But there's. There's there's five of us and then there's Jean Vie. So let's just say there's six. Realistically, I can't expect all six of us to, to, to all be here a year from now. But that's the hope and that's the prayer. And that's what I'm trying to work towards is can we, can we create enough work for the company? Can we bring in enough clients? Can we build this community that we're, that we know it's gonna, it's coming? Can we build it in a way where, where this team is, is, is the foundation and stays the foundation even a year from now, five years from now and beyond? Because what I do believe, and this is where, I mean, you know, I'm a faith based person and I just believe that God is working in and through this company in ways that are way greater than I could ever imagine. And I, I do believe that, that we are building a community of, of people, of entrepreneurs, of business owners, of shop owners, of, of individuals who we're all trying to figure it out together. Josh Parnell [00:14:59]: And, and, and, and I'll put a bow on this here in a second because I want to hear what you got for me. Tonnika Haynes [00:15:02]: But no, I, I got something for you. I want to hear it. All right. Josh Parnell [00:15:05]: Okay. Well, the, the thing is this, I, I, I like that you, that you mentioned, like, just because social media says one thing, trust me and my clients know this too because I'm quick to let them know. Like, look, I am not a, I don't, I don't even call myself a leadership expert. I'm not a master of anything. I'm always a lifelong learner. I'm always going to think like a rookie. I do not have it figured out. And I don't think I'm ever going to have it figured out. Josh Parnell [00:15:28]: But, but I'm going to keep on going through this and I'm gonna keep on growing through this. And yeah, people are not who they Tonnika Haynes [00:15:34]: post to be at all times. I say that and dude, I just cannot wait till this kid comes in here with a shirt on. It's like, come here, Santana. And it's like, no, he just came in like almost shirtless. We don't want to see that on camera. But you said something. I don't want to miss this opportunity because I don't know, something in the last couple years has me want to give everybody their flowers whenever I can. So he doesn't know this, but. Tonnika Haynes [00:16:03]: Come on, come, come on camera. This is Josh. You remember Josh from Benji's. Josh Parnell [00:16:07]: Hey, Santana, how you doing? Good, man. How are you doing? Tonnika Haynes [00:16:10]: Good. Tonnika Haynes [00:16:11]: Come to the microphone and I want you to give this man his flowers. And I need you to speak up because he. He took so many notes in that class and I was really not shocked. That's not a good word. But it touched me to watch him listen and absorb. But what I did notice. And I'm gonna give him his flowers too, since he's been to that class. He has made up his bed every morning since then, before he goes to work. Josh Parnell [00:16:43]: That's amazing. Tonnika Haynes [00:16:45]: In 21.75 years, I don't know, without me screaming that he's made up his bed every morning. So I just wanted to say that. Do you have any words for Josh? Tonnika Haynes [00:17:01]: I feel like. Can you hear me ar? Josh Parnell [00:17:04]: Yes, sir. Tonnika Haynes [00:17:05]: Or the podcast if you want. Tonnika Haynes [00:17:07]: Clear. So, yeah, I definitely took a lot of good things from the leadership class. Like on the way home from the class, I kind of just was thinking to myself that I kind of found my purpose, like in life. Because with the automotive shop, I'm thinking about fixing cars, getting cars in and out. Money, money, money. But it's a lot bigger than that. It's about helping people. And you guys talked a lot about helping people and having that community and things like that. Tonnika Haynes [00:17:39]: That's something that she does a great job with. She knows almost everybody who walks in the door. And then my granddaddy can do the same somewhere, see an old customer and then remember who exactly who they are. So, yeah, the community part was big for me. And I like helping people. And I didn't realize it that much until the class because I've always worked with kids since I was like 14. But I'm thinking I like the job because it's in sports, but in reality, I like teaching and coaching and helping others get to where they want to be. Josh Parnell [00:18:13]: That's amazing. Thank you for sharing that. That really just made my day. Tonnika Haynes [00:18:18]: I thought it would be important for you to hear that. And also as a mom, like, I would see it. And it's like Joker made up his bed every single day since that class and he had about four pages of notes. And he just makes a difference. People, that is the commercial for limitless leadership. There's a 20 year old who's had life changing moments within a two day class. So sign up. All right. Tonnika Haynes [00:18:46]: Now get out of my office. So I just thought it was important for me to share that with you. Thank you. Probably all off subject, but before we got too deep, just let you Know that the work that you're doing is amazing. And the blood that you're sharing, your time, your tears. Josh Parnell [00:19:05]: Yeah, there's a lot of them. Tonnika Haynes [00:19:06]: There's a lot of them. They are, they're not in vain. Josh Parnell [00:19:11]: Thank you. That, that really, it made my day. That means a lot to hear that. And that's, honestly, that's what it's all about. I mean, I think when people start really understanding what leadership coaching and leadership training is, it's not a, it's not necessarily about being a better professional. I mean, of course that comes with it, but it's really about being a better human, being a better contribution to society, being able to show up better recognizing. Satana said this, that purpose trumps motivation. Purpose. Josh Parnell [00:19:40]: It's, it's all about purpose. It's all about finding your why. And when the why is clear, the how is easy. And many of us don't understand how important it is to find our purpose or to find the why to have a North Star. And that's, that's pretty powerful what he just shared. So I really appreciate hearing those. Tonnika Haynes [00:19:55]: It made my day because I feel like we both said, we're both introverts and me finding my why now is different than what it was when the kids were 14 and 9 and the ages of your little ones. So when they start leaving the house, it was just like, what do I do with myself? And when the shops start going in a different way and my coaching company is telling me, you know, hire people, get off the front desk. And I'm leaning into that and I'm doing it. And that means I'm not running around headless anymore. Um, so you're sitting there, your kids are leaving, they don't need you to pick them up from school. They've got their own cars, they got their own lives. And then your employees are doing all the things that you need them to do, everything is flowing. What do you do with yourself now? So what's my new why? So the leadership things that I've been studying and growing into and understanding what my new purpose is, it's still community based and all of the good things, but being a better leader for my employees. Tonnika Haynes [00:21:00]: I had one of my younger employees come in yesterday and he really felt that he was not doing the best job. He felt like he was emotionally getting his way because he was having hard times with jobs. And he said, Ms. Tanika, I just feel like that, you know, I don't want you guys talking about me. I'm trying, I'm working through It. And the words that flowed from me to him. I tell them the God words because it's like I, like, I just really encouraged this kid. I'm watching this young man grow. Tonnika Haynes [00:21:28]: He's not a kid. He's a young man watching this young man grow. I'm leading, you know, so I'm so much more. More than just being responsible for their paycheck and their insurance. Like, I'm wanting to help people grow. Josh Parnell [00:21:42]: What does that look like on your end? Because I, like, I know how good you are at what you're describing, and I know how important it is to ask questions and to show up for. For people. But I think a lot of leaders may be listening, and they don't know how to show up because in. In their mind, like, they only know how to lead one particular way. But, you know, the importance of showing up for people where they're. Where. Where they are. And that means you're almost kind of like being a chameleon for. Tonnika Haynes [00:22:10]: For your. Josh Parnell [00:22:11]: For your team members to some degree. Tonnika Haynes [00:22:13]: And it does wear me out, but I need to know who that person is. Like, yeah, not a number. I was talking in a meeting the other day, and the guy said, I'm working a business, and I knew my employee ID number, and everybody knew me by employee ID number. Now people know me by my name, so I know the attitudes of this tech versus that tech versus this tech versus that tech. I do want to do a dis Assessment for everybody so I'll get to know them better. I asked them, I want to know what your favorite snack is. What are the kids doing? This, that, whatever. You know, in the one on ones, I'm trying to make a personal connection, a more personal connection. Tonnika Haynes [00:22:52]: Even walking up to a toolbox and saying, what's going on with this? What's going on with that? Trying to get to know that person on a different level. So when something pops off, when there's a situation in the shop, I know how to talk with them. Josh Parnell [00:23:05]: Yeah, that's huge. Tonnika Haynes [00:23:07]: I know how to navigate through a hard conversation because we're having conversations all the time. So not. The conversation isn't always about, oh, this job got messed up, you had this comeback, and this is your check for the week. The conversations are about absolutely nothing like Seinfeld conversations. Just getting to know somebody. And then. So when the hard conversation is coming, they don't feel like that's the only thing you come to me for. Josh Parnell [00:23:34]: Yeah, that's so good. Tonnika Haynes [00:23:36]: And it's a conversation. There's times where I Can be like my dad and say, oh, this is not a conversation. I'm telling you this one. Sure, because we've gotten there. But just. It's just wild, man. I can't even put in words. I cannot put it in words. Tonnika Haynes [00:23:49]: I did the leadership intensive with the institute and there was a question like I was coming up with my new why? And it just poured out of me. And as it was pouring out of me, I'm just sitting there mad because I don't want to be emotional. Josh Parnell [00:24:04]: Yeah. Tonnika Haynes [00:24:05]: I don't want to do all of this. I don't be responsible for people and pouring into people. I just want to make my money and go home. Josh Parnell [00:24:10]: Mm. Tonnika Haynes [00:24:11]: But I'm past that point in my life. I was past that point in my life a long time ago. And stepping into it is just. Dude, I don't even have the words. I know. I feel like I'm babbling right now, but I don't have the words. But I wish other shop owners knew that. I feel like since I've been working on leadership and the things are in place, everything's just working out for the good. Tonnika Haynes [00:24:35]: Does that make sense? Josh Parnell [00:24:36]: It makes perfect sense. Tonnika Haynes [00:24:37]: And I don't have to worry about the KPIs as much because it's just we've got these operating procedures in place. Yeah, these. My team is, my team is trusting the process. They are part of the, the team that everybody's at their own position to get the football to the end zone. Josh Parnell [00:24:57]: This is the beautiful thing about leadership coaching and leadership training is that when the leader gets better, everyone gets better. So when you get better, Tanika, everyone gets better. Like even in our, in limitless leaderships coaching that we do. The interesting thing is that 90% of our clients, their KPIs increase like their numbers increase. But we don't really touch KPIs that often. Like what we, we get a basic fundamental foundational knowledge of, of your shop and your numbers. And just so we know, because we also want to track where things are, are going from a tangible perspective. But leadership coaching is really more intangibles that turn into tangibles. Josh Parnell [00:25:30]: And the reason all this makes sense is because we know that when connection, that connection creates engagement and engagement increases performance. Because leadership is a full time job. I mean you're literally describing how it's, it's turned into like you're, you're focused on the people right now and it's, and it's, it's a lot. Like there's a. It can be a lot to have one on ones and daily huddles and toolbox talks and it's emotionally draining at times. In the beginning it can be, yeah, it can be. But, but this, but that's the most important part of it because you're, you're establishing safety and trust. Like those are critical in order to provide clarity and direction. Josh Parnell [00:26:08]: We cannot provide clarity and direction if we don't have safety and trust. So even in the coaching that we do, we walk through a three phase process in the coaching services, beginning with the discovery phase. In the discovery phase, we learn a lot about who this person is, who the, who our client is that we're working with. Why do they think the way they do, why do they operate the way they do? Because once we understand who they are or have a better understanding of who they are and, and, and how they are, we can then customize the next phase of the coaching because it's not cookie cutter like this is a customized personalized experience. Because we can then customize how we're going to coach Tanika in the action phase, which is self leadership, self development, and then we graduate into a team development later on. But the whole, the whole point of me sharing that is you're, you are getting into the discovery phase with your team as well. Because you're focusing on connection before content, on the name, before the job title. It's the person before the process and the person before the profit. Josh Parnell [00:27:01]: Because the profit's gonna come, but we've gotta put the person first, the profit is gonna come. Tonnika Haynes [00:27:06]: And I wish there was something on paper to make more people realize that. Cause I, I think in the beginning when you start a business, you have to worry about that. You bottom line, you have to worry about to pay the bills and this, that, whatever, and I don't know what point that you can start working more on leadership. And you just probably have to do them both at the same time. You know, like I always say, they work on your business. In your business, you work on yourself too. You got to put that in there. Once you put that in there and then your, your team are trusting you and you're engaging and connecting like you said. Tonnika Haynes [00:27:40]: And they can buy into the vision, the mission statement and all of that, not buy into it. They really believe that when they're coming to this job, we're going to do XYZ and we're going to do it daggone good. And I'm leaving out this shot like this. Josh Parnell [00:27:55]: And what you're describing is engagement like that. That is the missing piece I think a lot of shops are not capturing is engagement. They believe that their team is engaged. But statistically speaking, 77 of your team members are disengaged. Like, they're just. They're disengaged because they don't feel recognized, which is the number one reason why people leave. Leave bad leaders, not bad jobs. They don't. Josh Parnell [00:28:13]: There's a lack of recognition. They don't feel heard. They don't feel valued. They don't feel seen or understood or loved or cared for. Respected. All these things. Tonnika Haynes [00:28:21]: And that's heavy. If you're a good shop owner. It is heavy because there's moments when I feel like I feel it's so heavy. Like, okay, am I doing this right? Are they trusting me? Like, do I deserve all of this? It gets heavy. Yeah, it gets really, really heavy. And I think that's the part again, of being a leader and being a business owner. It's like, oh, it shouldn't. There's no emotions in fixing jobs and. Tonnika Haynes [00:28:47]: No, there's no emotions in actually fixing the car. Now, you. Facts fix cars. Josh Parnell [00:28:52]: Yeah. Tonnika Haynes [00:28:53]: Numbers don't lie. Okay. But then when you're dealing with people that are actually fixing the cars, those emotions can be important on how you, you know, how you talk to them and how you lead them or whatever. If it's the right person, if it's somebody just in there getting on your nerves and just causing chaos, they got to go. Because then again, they can mess up the whole shop. You know, everybody is not going to be that coachable team member that needs to be there. We have to be. Meet them halfway to grow. Tonnika Haynes [00:29:18]: Some people are just toxic, but for the people that are there and that tried or true. Tried and true. Leading them is, oh, my God, it's such a blessing. Josh Parnell [00:29:29]: Well, one of the things that we talked about at the, at the training a few weeks ago was how when emotions are high, logic tends to be low, but emotional maturity is having feelings, but not letting our feelings have us. Now, that's way easier said than done. Like, I myself struggle with emotional regulation. And, and, and my clients know this. Like, I, I'm very. I'm very transparent because I want them to know that we're. We're doing this together. We're going through this together. Josh Parnell [00:29:52]: I'm doing this with you, and I'm not jumping on calls to tell people all the things I think they need to hear. That's. That's. As a coach, my opinion is irrelevant. So my job as a coach, my obligation to you is to help you tap into unrecognized potential to achieve limitless results. And I can do that through the form of asking questions and helping you understand challenges that you may not be seeing or identifying right now. Because I'm helping you identify blind spots. I'm asking for permission to speak truth into your life because my. Josh Parnell [00:30:24]: My perception is my reality, and my perception may not be accurate, but I'd be remiss if I didn't share what I believe to be a blind spot in a client that I'm working with. And so when you can't see it, Tonnika Haynes [00:30:36]: it's not like they don't. They don't do it, but they probably can't see themselves. Like, for example, me listening to my own voice on an answer machine or on this podcast. You know, I hear myself in my ears, but what do I sound like to everybody else? You hear what you're saying to your employees, but what does it sound like? What are they receiving from you? That's when you call somebody out on something like that, that's sticky because you think you're talking to. Josh Parnell [00:31:03]: Yeah, well, and now we're getting into communication because you made a great point. Like, there's. There's often multiple conversations for the one that's actually occurring. There's the conversation that I'm having with you. There's one that you're having with me. Tonnika Haynes [00:31:15]: There. Josh Parnell [00:31:15]: There's the one that I think that we're having, and the one that you think that we're having. That's why the greatest misconception about communication is the fact that it's actually happening. And when I let shop owners know that poor communication is costing your business 18% of total salaries paid out on an annual basis, and it's also causing you to lose 7.47 hours of lost time per week. That's huge. Like, that alone should be the stat that people are saying, that's why I need leadership coaching. Like, that's why I need leadership training. It's a huge number. And that's also why we see connection start to be the focus. Josh Parnell [00:31:54]: Engaged team members start. Start happening. And then the increase in performance follow suit, because engaged team members perform significantly better, for sure. Tonnika Haynes [00:32:04]: I mean, then they can see, oh, look, boss lady's working on herself. She's just not out here in the streets chilling. Josh Parnell [00:32:10]: Yeah. When they're bought in because, like, engagement Tonnika Haynes [00:32:14]: a little bit more. Okay, okay, she might not have it right, but she's trying. And the same thing for the employees. Okay, he might didn't do it right, but he Was trying to. Josh Parnell [00:32:23]: Mm. Tonnika Haynes [00:32:24]: So here's the thing. Learning about leadership and all that stuff and being at the top, we. You know, you don't want to say you're at the top, but you're at the top of the totem pole. Right. Isolating. Josh Parnell [00:32:35]: It feels like it. It feels like you're on an island. And that's also why I think it's important that every. Because you also mentioned this a few minutes ago, too, Tanika, where it can be draining. It. It feels like there's just. It's heavy. This is why I think every business owner needs to have a coach as well. Josh Parnell [00:32:51]: I have my own coach. I will. Tonnika Haynes [00:32:52]: I was going to say, do you have a coach, not your wife? Because I know she's a counselor as well, but you've got somebody directing you as well. Josh Parnell [00:33:00]: I'm currently working with my own leadership coach. I'm currently working with a counselor. I'm also working with a writing coach because I'm writing my second book right now. Tonnika Haynes [00:33:07]: Okay. Josh Parnell [00:33:07]: And I'm married to a counselor, too, so. Yeah. And so she's great at it. But I think it's important that, that. That I have people in my life who I trust, who I feel safe with, who can provide clarity and direction on things that I don't see. They can provide blind spots, or they can make me identify my blind spots. You know, I found my coach through. When I. Josh Parnell [00:33:31]: When I released my first book, it was in January of 2024, and. And this. And this guy, his name is John Kidwell. John was also releasing his book, I think, a few weeks after mine. And so some. Somebody from his team reached out and suggest that he be a guest on the podcast. Well, we hit it off, and he actually does the same type of work that I do. And I said, you know, what if I just hire John as my coach? Because I was moving from a different coach and I was looking for a new one, and I was like, what if I just hire John as my coach? John's in Houston as well, and that's where I'm at. Josh Parnell [00:34:03]: And so I've been working with John now for a little over a year, and he's been great. And the thing is, like, we do the same work, but he's always able to help me see things that maybe I'm not considering. There's perspectives that he's sharing, there's ideas that he's presenting. He's asking the right questions that help me think differently, think outside the box. And I also enjoy working with someone who does my Kind of work because I get to see how he does it in comparison to how I do it. And I'm not drawing a comparison for the sake of, like, figuring out, Tonnika Haynes [00:34:36]: like, Josh Parnell [00:34:38]: how do I work? Tonnika Haynes [00:34:38]: Am I just as good as him? Am I doing a better job? Yeah, like a competition. Josh Parnell [00:34:42]: That's right. Tonnika Haynes [00:34:42]: Because comparison, like, when I love cooking, like, I know I can cook, but there's nothing wrong with picking up a cookbook and seeing, oh, I never thought about putting that in this recipe. Let me try it. Like, shop owners. The same thing. Like, dude, like, coaching is. Oh, I know everything. You don't know everything. Yeah, if you do everything, you might get a different perspective on it. Tonnika Haynes [00:35:04]: That might change your life. Josh Parnell [00:35:06]: Over the years, Tanika, the more I've learned from coaches and counselors and people who, who have these professional help that they can provide, the more I've learned, the more I realized how much I actually don't know. Like, I, I, you know, I, I learned more, and then I realized there's so much more that I actually don't know. And that's why I think I'm probably always going to have a coach. I'm always gonna have a coach and probably a counselor, too. I mean, when I first got into counseling, I, I worked with a counselor before I hired a coach. And this was probably eight, eight years ago or so, and I was, I was doing really well professionally. I was thriving at Christian Brothers, but, but personally, I was struggling. I, I just gone through a divorce. Josh Parnell [00:35:41]: I was struggling and, and really struggling with navigating my mindset and recognizing that our thoughts dictate feelings, our feelings dictate actions, and our actions dictate results. And I was not achieving the results that I felt like I was destined to achieve. And it got to a point where I said, you know what? I can't, like, I need help. But I, I, I was saying, I can't afford a, a counselor because I wasn't budgeting for it. And, and finally got even worse, where I'm like, I've gotta, I've got to get help. So I, I interviewed three different counselors, well, technically four different counselors before I found the one that I wanted to work with my fourth person because, because it's an interview for us as well. Like, when you, when you think about, if you're considering working with a coach or a counselor, always interview them. Like, always go through this process to identify, does this person make me feel safe? Do I, do I trust this person? Because once I found that person, then I was able to Fully let go for lack of better terms. Josh Parnell [00:36:37]: And, and I was able to receive the clarity and direction and the guidance and the, the counseling and suggestions from, from this counselor. I worked with this counselor for over two years and he, he really helped me tremendously. Now I feel like I use counseling almost like a, like preventative maintenance. It's like an oil change, you know, Like, I know I need counseling and I feel like I'm doing good, but there's always opportunities that I can be, be made aware of. And, and that's to me, that's why I'm probably always going to have a counselor and I will likely always be working with some type of coach as well. Tonnika Haynes [00:37:08]: That is so smart because we spend so much time worried about customers, worried about our employees. But if you don't have anybody that's pouring back into your cup like you're a religious person, so you know who's pouring into you as a leader like you, you're getting your counselor for the other shop owners. For myself, who's pouring into you Like I've got my coaching company, but that's all about numbers and KPIs. So I'm actually asking myself self, huh? Right now, for me, it's nobody. And that's kind of scary. Josh Parnell [00:37:38]: It's important to, to me even as, as a, as a business owner who's trying to scale a small company right now, like it's, I mean, we're on the ground floor of something that we know can, can really take off and make a great impact in the industry. But even for our team members, we have a blue to black budget. And blue to black is this concept that the sky is not the limit. Like, the sky is our starting point. It's our launch pad. So we're going to go from blue to black. We're going to go from the blue sky to this rare air, this like deep space, this black. And that's, that's the name of the second book as well. Josh Parnell [00:38:09]: It's called Blue to Black. But we have a blue to black budget because every one of our team members also has allocations set aside for their own coaching, counseling, physical. Like if we want, if someone wants a personal trainer, they want to get like, physically fit. So we're, we're working on leveling up spiritually, physically, emotionally, academically and financially. So if there's anything out there, a conference, books, anything that requires some type of transaction, like a monetary transaction to better yourself spiritually, physically, emotionally, economically or financially, we have a budget for that. With limitless leadership, it's the blue to black budget. Because it's important that we're all getting coached and, and having someone exterior of ourself and our, and our spouses pouring into us, people who are professionals at, at this to pour into us. So when you work with someone from limitless leadership, you're not just working with someone who would consider themselves to be like this expert or master of anything. Josh Parnell [00:39:05]: We're always working on ourselves. We're always thinking like a rookie. Tonnika Haynes [00:39:08]: Yeah, I think shop owners, myself included, need a budget for that too. Josh Parnell [00:39:13]: Like it's important. Tonnika Haynes [00:39:14]: Yeah. Mental health, physical health. I understand that this industry has a very high suicide rate. And as long as I've been in it, I've never heard of it until this past year. Why is that not being spoken upon? Josh Parnell [00:39:27]: So I'm so glad you're bringing this, this topic to light because this is also why, you know, Jean Vieille, she. So she's technically a former licensed professional counselor. So she's in the middle of getting her certification again to get licensed again. Because that's one of the next announcements we're gonna be making with limitless leadership, is bringing a. Bringing counseling to an industry that so desperately needs it. Because I looked at numbers, I think three days ago, and technician suicide rates amongst trades are like, in the top three. Like, the numbers are astronomical. And it's, it's really, it's really sad. Josh Parnell [00:40:03]: And this is why I think that, you know, we as a, as a community have been called to be a light in a dark industry. You know, the reality is, like, this is a tough industry. It's. It's a grind, long hours, a lot of moving pieces. It's, it's challenging to, to do the work that these guys are so great at doing. And I don't even want to say that I shouldn't say we, because, you know, I'm not in a shop, I don't work in a shop, but I have the opportunity to serve this incredible industry. And I have such a high respect for everyone who's working in a shop and navigating customers on a daily basis and leading people on a daily basis, managing process on a daily. There's so much that goes into it, and I don't think that this industry gets the, gets the credit it deserves and, and pair, pair all of that with the fact that suicide rates are amongst the highest of any profession. Josh Parnell [00:40:57]: That's scary. And so I think being able to read, being able to show up for people in a, in a better way, not just professionally, but like, mentally, how Are you, how are you improving yourself? So when we talk about leveling up, I mentioned spiritually, physically, emotionally, academically and financially. Emotional. Emotional level up is, are you working on your emotional regulation? Are you getting help, professional help, from a counselor, from a therapist, from someone who is helping you regulate your emotions? Maybe, maybe it's the pause, process and pivot moment or concept where you're, you're, you understand the importance of. I'm going to. I need to take a breath right now. Like, my emotions are high, which means my logic is likely low. I'm going to pause, physically remove myself from the situation if possible, take a breath, start questioning the thing, the thoughts I'm having, and processing the thoughts I'm having. Josh Parnell [00:41:52]: Because one of the greatest mistakes any of us can make is assuming all of our thoughts are actually true. So if I can start questioning these things, it gives me a new perspective. I'm processing, I get a new perspective. And with perspective, the way that I view things drives the way that I do things. Now I can pivot accordingly because I've chosen to regulate my emotions at a healthy level. And think about if we, if we did this every single time with the customers that were serving with our team members that we're leading, imagine how different our communication and our culture would be in our shop. Tonnika Haynes [00:42:22]: And imagine how low your blood pressure could possibly be. Yeah, lower your blood pressure, lower your stress level. Just like, stop. With my kids, I used to call it, they would get upset. I'm like, okay, walk. Our mommy's going to walk away. I just walk away. I say it now. Tonnika Haynes [00:42:36]: Just walk away and figure it out. Like you said, pivot. It's very important, very important. But I think the work that you're doing is very important in the industry. I would pray that my brothers and sisters would take care of themselves more. Find a safe place, find a safe person to speak with and connect and have somebody that actually is poured into you as well. Because we're. It's a masculine industry. Tonnika Haynes [00:43:04]: You got cars and engines and gas. And I'm not supposed to be sad or upset. I'm supposed to be able to handle it. Right. I got this. I'm supposed to be going home and being masculine and providing for my family. I've got this. But some people don't go home to a soft space with, you know, they go home screaming kids, and they are at the shop at 9 o', CL, 10 o' clock at night, and the wife doesn't understand because she's been at home with the kids and they Just don't know how to ask for help. Tonnika Haynes [00:43:28]: So if, here's the big question. If somebody needed that kind of help from you or how are you available to them? Like how do we get in contact with Josh? Josh Parnell [00:43:42]: Yeah, the first thing to do is go to. Yeah. LimitlessLeadership Co and you can book a discovery call with me. I'm quick to let everyone know that our coaching sometimes feels like life coaching. It might feel like counseling. You know, legally, I'm not a licensed counselor, but there's some mindset work that we do. We dive into the leadership mindset. Vulnerability is not a, is not a weakness. Josh Parnell [00:44:05]: It's, it's a strength. And especially in a masculine industry, a male dominated industry. You know, I served in the military and you know, it was the Air Force, some of you might call it the chair force, but still it was, it was the military. And I was, I was around a lot of masculine energy in a male dominated career that I was in, which is security forces, which is military, police, and a lot of this type of bravado, like it was the same thing I was accustomed to back then. It's, I think, helped me thrive in a, in, in this industry as well. But when I introduce vulnerability to someone and I rec and, and I help them recognize the importance of regulating our emotions and letting them know that it's okay to have these emotions. It's healthy, it's necessary to have these emotions. Don't run from them. Josh Parnell [00:44:49]: Let's unpack them, let's dissect them. So that's why some of the, sometimes the calls. Yeah, it's leadership coaching. It's going to feel like some life coaching. It's going to feel like some, some mindset coaching or some counseling at times. But to directly answer your question, Tanika, I would say go to limitlessleadership Co. You can book a discovery call with me from that website and then just find out if we're, if, if we're a good fit for each other. You know, there's plenty of prospective clients who have reached out to me, we've talked and, and I've even directed them to somebody else because I don't, I want to make sure that ultimately you're taken care of, that, that someone in this industry is serving you well. Josh Parnell [00:45:22]: And if I don't think it's me, I'm gonna let you know. And so that's the, that's the quickest way to connect with me is go to limitlessleadership Co and book a discovery call. Tonnika Haynes [00:45:34]: If you, how can we Help each other. Like if I knew or somebody listening knew a shop owner that was stuck or overwhelmed. What is something that we can do as a community without signing up or visiting a website or making a 800 number call? What can we do for them to help? Josh Parnell [00:45:56]: Yeah, the first thing to do is make yourself available. And that means you need to verbalize that you're available. You know, I. I will randomly, on occasion, just post on social media something to the effect of, hey, someone, right now, someone today is feeling stuck in an area of their life. Someone may be feeling less capable, less competent, less confident in an area of their life. I want you to know that I'm here, I'm available, so feel free to reach out to me. And I dropped my number in there. I'll share my number on this podcast. Josh Parnell [00:46:26]: It's 713-898-9636. You can also reach me at joshimitlessleadership.co. but the main thing is I want people to know that you're not alone. It is okay to not be okay. It's not okay to stay there. And there are people out there who are like yourself, like, like me. A lot of great folks in this industry who are more than happy, more than willing to help because we want this. Don't ever feel like you're a burden. Josh Parnell [00:46:56]: This is a blessing like this, not an inconvenience. This is an opportunity. So I want people to know that this is not an easy industry to. To thrive in from an emotional standpoint, because there's always something. It always feels like there's something going on. And it's like when it rains, it pours. Or we can say, you know what, Tanika? When it rains, look for rainbows. Like, there are opportunities in everything. Josh Parnell [00:47:20]: And not every day is going to be a good day, but we can still find the good in every day. And my hope is that people recognize there are people out there who are ready, who are more than willing, who are happy to connect with you if you just reach out. Tonnika Haynes [00:47:32]: That's me, too. I know, like we both said that we're introverts and we do get burned out, but we know that and we know how to fix that. So if you need me, Facebook inbox, please reach out. Because life is short, but it is beautiful and you are worth being here. All my brothers and sisters. Josh Parnell [00:47:49]: Yeah. Tonnika Haynes [00:47:50]: Well, Josh, this was really, really good. I'm so glad to get to speak with you. And I get to hang out with your wife next week. We're going to Montana. Josh Parnell [00:47:57]: She can't wait. Tonnika Haynes [00:47:58]: So much fun. I love having you a part of our community. Hopefully my podcast will be just as cool as yours one day. Josh Parnell [00:48:05]: I think it's already cooler. Tonnika Haynes [00:48:06]: You think it's cooler? Whatever, man. Whatever. We're trying. We're going to keep moving forward and we're gonna be the buffalo. Josh Parnell [00:48:12]: That's it. That's it. Be the buffalo. If you know, you know. Tonnika Haynes [00:48:15]: If you know, you know, if you don't get in one of those leadership classes and you'll. Josh Parnell [00:48:19]: That's right. Tonnika Haynes [00:48:19]: Get it. Josh Parnell [00:48:20]: That's right. Tonnika Haynes [00:48:20]: All right. Thank you so much for joining me tonight today. Thanks. This morning, whatever it is, Downshift with Tanika is where we slow down long enough to have real conversations. Hosted by myself, second generation shop owner, Tanika Haynes. This goes beyond your car count, your KPIs. We want to talk about leadership, legacy, mindset, and the messy, beautiful journey of building something that lasts. You will hear stories from shop owners, technicians, and other industry leaders who are figuring it all out by themselves in real time. Tonnika Haynes [00:48:54]: This is a space for growth, tough love, laughter, and leveling up.