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The Rapper and Ex Heroine Addict - Jordan Markell and Wendy Watson · Nightmare Success In and Out

• 0:00
  What happens when your worst fear becomes your reality?
• 0:04
  Hi. I'm Brent, Cassidy.
• 0:06
  Welcome to the nightmare success in and out podcast, where we
• 0:10
  explore how to overcome your fears.
• 0:12
  And Nightmares is set yourself free.
• 0:15
  We're going to be exploring this topic with guys, I was in
• 0:17
  Leavenworth with and others who served at other prisons.
• 0:21
  We're going to be talking about life before prison life in
• 0:24
  prison and life out of prison. These stories can be inspired
• 0:29
  sometimes. Sad.
• 0:30
  There's some humor but hopefully, you can come away
• 0:34
  with a nugget of something that will help you knock down some of
• 0:37
  the prisons you've built up in your own mind.
• 0:40
  Folks, today, I've got with me, Jordan, Marco and Wendy Watson's
• 0:47
  and the cool thing is this is we're doing a double here and,
• 0:52
  and, and this is the first time we've had a female on nine, more
• 0:55
  success in it now. So Wendy, welcome to that.
• 0:58
  Thank you breaking down. Very, very the breaking down.
• 1:01
  Barriers, that's exactly right, Jordan.
• 1:06
  I'll get a plate, a little bit of George music.
• 1:07
  Jordan, I met through a friend of mine Gina, and come to find
• 1:13
  out. This guy can sing.
• 1:15
  He's a, he's a rap and full of man.
• 1:17
  So I'm going to, I'm going to feed you guys some of this, you
• 1:19
  ready? Some really cool cars in Yemen
• 1:54
  and fire in this video, too. Becky wheel.
• 2:22
  Always wrong way baby. My nigga.
• 2:40
  Have you seen my beach? Because I don't know, guys, I'm
• 2:43
  just giving you a taste so Jordan.
• 2:47
  Wow, good stuff man. Thank you, thank you.
• 2:49
  Yeah, you can sing, man. And you've got a, you've got a
• 2:54
  big photo, you got a video coming up, is it?
• 2:59
  The February 29th of January, 29th, January, sway night.
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  And I also have another YouTube channel with over a million
• 3:06
  subscribers. Love that over.
• 3:09
  Tell me, man, how did you build that up like that?
• 3:11
  A lot of people, lot of people say I got shooting for 1000,
• 3:15
  I've got 50 people, I've got 100 people have how the hell'd you
• 3:19
  get. A million people looking at your
• 3:23
  stuff. Well, I tell you like this.
• 3:29
  I'ma Do It. A shout-out to to wonderful,
• 3:32
  wonderful beings and subjects one.
• 3:35
  God, number one, always number one.
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  And then, number two is the laws of attraction, got it.
• 3:40
  That's how I did it, you know, and with all that being said,
• 3:44
  just being nice overall, you know, once upon a time the, you
• 3:48
  know, like the whole world man, like we have so much negative
• 3:51
  energy on this planet. It's kind of hard to wake up and
• 3:55
  realize, like, which one to turn off and turn on, you know,
• 3:59
  that's why you Try to surround yourself with the same people.
• 4:01
  That's like you mmm and that's kind of like a hat on started
• 4:05
  you know Laws of Attraction you know Jim Carrey over a year.
• 4:11
  It's so many people. There's some cool stuff you sent
• 4:14
  it to me and I checked it all out and it's it's all about
• 4:19
  mindset and and surrounding yourself with people who can
• 4:24
  help you make a difference, but you've got to be in the right
• 4:27
  mindset and, you know, Talking around this table here.
• 4:31
  All of us have been to prison and we're all sitting here on
• 4:36
  the other side of this Wendy. Yes, you know, I've got, I've
• 4:43
  not talked to somebody who's gone to a woman's prison, but
• 4:48
  take me back a little bit. Dude, how did you grow up in st.
• 4:51
  Louis, I grew up in st. Charles, yeah, I'm an only
• 4:54
  child. Yeah, it wasn't the smoothest.
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  Yup. My mom was my mom was a peach.
• 5:02
  Okay, put it like that she's and and so there weren't a lot of
• 5:08
  expectations for me growing up. There wasn't, you know, go to
• 5:12
  college, go do this. It was just like, you'll be
• 5:15
  lucky if you graduate high school.
• 5:16
  Yeah. And that's kind of where I got
• 5:19
  pumping you up. Yeah, we were guiding, you know,
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  there was none of that. We were joking around the other
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  day. My brother was in the car and we
• 5:25
  were talking about how my dad would give me.
• 5:27
  We'd to sell at school, right? And like I have kids that are
• 5:30
  now in high school and like maybe that's not the best
• 5:34
  Robinson that you could have but it seems you do seem weird to
• 5:39
  you when that was going on and high school because High School
• 5:42
  is a weird time, you know? Yeah.
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  You're always trying to find your way and get with your
• 5:46
  people and all that stuff. I mean did that Did that seem
• 5:50
  weird to you that Dad? Hey, dads giving me weed.
• 5:53
  It didn't seem weird at the time because it was what I grew up
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  with. Okay.
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  Like I grew up in that kind of environment so I didn't know
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  that it was going to be weird. Okay, it's only now, in
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  hindsight, where I have, you know, now that I'm a parent and
• 6:07
  I have children that age like, wow, that was really fucked up.
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  Yeah. Like, that was, that was really
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  like, what I couldn't imagine, giving my 14, did your people,
• 6:16
  your friends think that was probably because you had that.
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  You were cool. Yeah.
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  It was very cool. Yeah.
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  So you ran is a cool kid because your dad was I always had we.
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  Yeah yeah yeah. So okay.
• 6:29
  So that was your high school dad given you weed and you can you
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  be in the person who was the cool kid that had weed.
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  Jordan, what were you doing? And when you're growing up?
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  What's happening with you? Oh shit man.
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  What's the young? Jordan do.
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  Well the young George I was a viral pimp.
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  Oh okay. Yeah.
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  I mean like I was hustling and pimping and playing and having
• 6:54
  fun. Like I was enjoying my my best
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  life. Yeah.
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  You know as a kid, who did you hang out with me?
• 6:59
  Yeah, just me. Yeah.
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  And music. I was like, I like music always
• 7:03
  in your life. Yeah.
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  Because you know, music playing earlier part, you know.
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  Family going through shit and wouldn't tell me about it.
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  I just hear her screaming, screaming screaming, and so, I
• 7:16
  would lock myself in my room. Yeah.
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  And just put on music and a, that was your Escape.
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  Yeah. Like, it didn't it.
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  Didn't matter what it was. It can be gospel rap country.
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  It is that, ya know, I didn't. That's how I did it.
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  Yeah, so I was my own friend. Yes, interesting.
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  And as you got older, were there other people that you found that
• 7:39
  had similar? Her interest and got you more
• 7:43
  into music as a group or was it something you kept yourself?
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  Well is it's a mixture of both of it.
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  You know. I can't think of a music artist
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  is at this point. You would only child to know.
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  I have a sister sister, okay? And she's, so I'm Creole I'm
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  light-skinned, you know, I'm mixed with Indian European
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  African American. Well, my storage good-looking
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  guy, we give him that. Well, thank you.
• 8:10
  If any mixture is, it's working. If anybody, if you can do an
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  Asian black, hey, what could see the dimples.
• 8:19
  You would want to take. So my sister, and he can sing.
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  Yeah, and my doesn't matter, she's door skins.
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  So it would be like a little joke, me.
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  And we'll know, well, I found it funny.
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  That she's dark-skinned. I'm light-skinned.
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  So anytime she pissed me off. I like, man, guess what?
• 8:33
  You're a fucking adopted because your darkness.
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  No, but, you know what? Kind of find out is, maybe
• 8:39
  people that says the same. Shit is.
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  So, what were your parents like? Well, were they giving you weed?
• 8:48
  No, no Mom, my mom was like beat my ass in the shower because I
• 8:53
  was used to it out of the shower.
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  Yeah. So should we got to try
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  something new? She's a shower but my dad not.
• 9:01
  Here's kind of where it goes a little bit South.
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  But yeah, my father, well, I'm not gonna call him my father.
• 9:07
  I would just say a sperm donor. Okay.
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  He wanted to shoot my When she was pregnant with me.
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  Because, you know, really shooting like a bullet shot, her
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  in the head. What?
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  And her mom, which is my grandmother rest in peace,
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  doesn't even. She didn't believe it.
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  She didn't think it was him and Otto, I don't.
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  That was, it's so long of a story, but long story short, he
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  was hiding in the bushes across the street and shot, and
• 9:30
  actually made it through the window and show my mom.
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  And dad was, she pregnant with me and she survived?
• 9:36
  Yeah, and here's the craziest story.
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  I was in prison, I found out. He was and his phone number and
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  I actually got a hold of his mom and she welcomed me in like
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  what's that country song would all arms or somebody had?
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  Was I forgot whose song that with open arms.
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  Open arms, right? But anyway so I met his mom and
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  we got really cool. So I wind up getting his number
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  through her so I call him collect and he's like, hello I'm
• 10:01
  like hey, what's up? How are you doing?
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  Who is this? I said it's your son, which one?
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  I'm like. Damn.
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  So I never there's a bunch of them.
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  That's it. This is your first born.
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  Yeah. And he said, well, I don't know
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  what to say is, it's nice to meet you.
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  Oh, my okay. Well, where do you want to go
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  from her? He said, man, you too old now.
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  I can't tell you nothing and he hung up on me.
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  Wow. In Jordan.
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  How old would you been when that was the phone conversation?
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  You think it's 11 years old? I want anyone?
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  I never forget it. Wow, wow, mmm.
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  That's why I'm about to be a father to my kids.
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  Ya know. And I think that goes back to
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  you know the type of things that you sent me about the laws of
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  attraction. You know that you don't choose
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  your parents. But you it's how you deal with
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  that and how you grow from it and what you choose to make Make
• 10:58
  of it. And you know, one thing I
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  learned in life, our parents look to us for advice to sure as
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  the world has changed. Yeah.
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  Since they had us. Yeah.
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  And it's so many things that evolve and transform that they
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  were like, damn, I don't know cell phones, you can actually
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  look at it you know I mean and I can take a picture and shit.
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  Yeah so the way I adapted it like I showed my mom things you
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  know and she wanted to show me Laws of Attraction.
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  Yeah that's cool. And they were she introduced you
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  to that. Yeah.
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  But I was actually in prison In prison.
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  Well, let's talk about that when when those days happen, when you
• 11:36
  feel like, you know, you've hit the wall and you know, that
• 11:40
  you're going to do time, when do you went to Vandalia and Delia
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  and Jordan? You just told me for the first
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  time that that's pink that they'll have prisoners.
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  People at the prison is a dirty dingy pink color and so Did you
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  know I mean, I don't know about your situation and what happened
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  and however, much you want to share with that, did you know,
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  that whatever happened was going to be prison time?
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  Or were you thinking it was just a bad mistake situation and was
• 12:16
  all going to work itself out? So, maybe like I kind of knew
• 12:25
  but didn't really understand the severity.
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  So share my cranberry. Yeah.
• 12:31
  You tell me what you want to tell me?
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  I'm gonna go deep here, I guess. Yeah.
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  So I was raped and got pregnant was pregnant from that.
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  And I had plans with you been, I was 23.
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  I didn't even know I was pregnant for the first five
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  months like and I was like, that's not possible.
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  Yeah. But I was a heroin addict.
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  So the, you know, the theory, somebody you knew through the
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  drug trade. Yeah.
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  Yeah. It was somebody.
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  I was somebody I was familiar with, I didn't know them but I
• 13:08
  was familiar with them. Yeah so I had said and made
• 13:13
  arrangements when I found out that I was pregnant to adopt the
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  baby, Doubt it was going to be an open adoption, beautiful,
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  beautiful family in Florida and my peach of a mom.
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  When I went into labor, I had called the family and told them
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  like fly up its time, it's time they got here and my mom at the
• 13:32
  end of secure at the bottom of security told them are at the
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  end, but the front door at the hospital had told them that I
• 13:38
  had decided to keep the baby. Really.
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  And then my mom came upstairs and told me that she had decided
• 13:44
  not to take the baby. So now I'm a 23 year old heroin
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  addict homeless with the baby, you know, there was no baby
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  shower, there was none of that. So we had two days to get
• 13:58
  everything together for a baby. I almost immediately started
• 14:03
  using drugs again because nobody was I wasn't ready for that.
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  I wasn't ready to be a mom. That's why I made the
• 14:08
  arrangements that I had had. Yeah.
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  And what was going through your mind with all this, I had to be
• 14:13
  a lot of stress, a lot of A lot of drugs.
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  I mean, really, like there was no There was no kind of
• 14:24
  connection between him and I I had I had decided that you were
• 14:29
  that I had reductionist you know that emotional.
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  Yeah compartment you know and That's what I just had to do to
• 14:38
  get through it. And then, when it was decided
• 14:41
  that he was coming home, it was like, oh, fuck.
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  Like what do I do? What do I do with right?
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  This baby, like, so I am being that's relying on everything,
• 14:52
  everything and I had no support like my family wasn't.
• 14:55
  My mom was enjoying her of I'm like, I'm reliving, I was house
• 14:59
  hopping. Well, my my parents would let me
• 15:02
  stay there. Every once in a while but not
• 15:04
  enough to really make it matter. So minor Interruption.
• 15:09
  So she was living in the hood of st.
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  Louis, not yet. Oh I wasn't there yet.
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  I know it's a big job. So I One day I was very high on
• 15:26
  heroin, and I worked at the daycare where my son went every
• 15:32
  day, but I work there also. Okay.
• 15:35
  So I, my parents had these giant Irish Setters and they came
• 15:39
  running through, my son was sitting on the floor.
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  I was high as fuck and is cursing.
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  Okay? Oh, yeah, sorry.
• 15:47
  Sorry. My the dogs came running through
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  and I spilled boiling water on him.
• 15:53
  So obviously, I call 911, you know, the whole thing this is in
• 15:57
  March, nothing happens. I'm at, I'm at work, I'm at the
• 16:02
  daycare one day, you know, he went, he was in the hospital for
• 16:05
  several days and it was tear. It was it was awful.
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  It was a day in May I was at work and two detectives came in
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  and said we're arresting you the state of Missouri pick this up
• 16:18
  as a state case of child endangerment in the first
• 16:22
  degree. And I said, please don't take me
• 16:24
  out of here. Take me out of this daycare and
• 16:26
  handcuffs. Like, I'm a teacher at this,
• 16:28
  right? Like, you know, I work four and
• 16:31
  five-year-olds. Yeah, even though I'm high on
• 16:33
  heroin every day, you know, like that you were functioning, I was
• 16:37
  totally functioning on heroin. I had a job the entire Higher
• 16:41
  time. Well, that's what yeah, thank
• 16:44
  you hustle, which is own. So I Make haste got drugged out
• 16:51
  forever and ever and ever. You know, I white privileged
• 16:54
  Upton and my grandparents paid for an amazing lawyer and, you
• 16:58
  know, drug it out. But I would go to court high
• 17:00
  every day. Every time I had court, I was
• 17:02
  high as fuck. My lawyer be like, you got to be
• 17:04
  kidding me. He's going to need you to do
• 17:06
  better. Yeah.
• 17:07
  Like really need you to stop. We need you to be able to stand
• 17:11
  up in front of the judge. We just need you standing like,
• 17:15
  help me help you write like you're not making this any
• 17:19
  easier on me. Mmmmm.
• 17:20
  So I wasn't making it easier. And I finally got told that I
• 17:26
  was going to have to turn myself in, on March 17th of our March
• 17:30
  18th 2004, and then what happened to your little boy, he
• 17:36
  went with my mom and my mom. When when I got out my mom,
• 17:43
  brought my son to visit me every week, he had, she had told me a
• 17:47
  little bit about because I want to, you know, that hole.
• 17:50
  Variants. We may go through a lot of shit.
• 17:52
  Yeah, so yeah. So you've been through a lot
• 17:54
  before you ever step through the doors.
• 17:56
  No reason. What was his life like, did you
• 18:01
  get? Did you go from County to
• 18:03
  Vandalia? I went, I was in county for four
• 18:06
  days before I got transferred to Vandalia.
• 18:12
  It was almost comforting to know that I didn't have to look for
• 18:18
  dope. Yeah, I knew I was just going to
• 18:20
  be really sick for a couple weeks and then I was going to be
• 18:22
  fine, which I didn't have that opportunity on the streets to
• 18:25
  do. I wasn't going to draw on.
• 18:26
  Yeah, I wasn't, I'd been in and out of drug treatments, you
• 18:29
  know, court-ordered drug treatment, I just couldn't, I
• 18:32
  couldn't do it. So there was almost kind of a
• 18:36
  big sigh to know that I was away from my mom who just were.
• 18:41
  Losing a lot of the pressures from the outside as you walk.
• 18:44
  Yeah. Tours and I knew that if I
• 18:46
  didn't if I didn't do what I needed to do this time like this
• 18:49
  was the last time that anybody was ever going to there weren't
• 18:53
  going to be another lawyer next time.
• 18:55
  Right there wasn't going to be any of that.
• 18:56
  Like if I didn't get it together this time there was no more
• 19:00
  times. You were thinking all those
• 19:02
  things? Yeah.
• 19:03
  I've got to get my act together. I have to get it, my, she gotta
• 19:05
  get my act together in a state prison.
• 19:08
  Yeah, yeah. So what was it like, I mean
• 19:12
  which parts? Well her lots of.
• 19:16
  I know it's an open-ended question, I know but I mean had
• 19:20
  you been in a know I had never even been to County until I got
• 19:25
  put in County. You ready for this?
• 19:28
  Tell him about the lookout. I'll get to that story.
• 19:34
  Not a good look out apparently you know, You walk in.
• 19:41
  And the very first thing that you do is you have to, you know,
• 19:44
  you strip down. Yeah, you got to get those you
• 19:46
  right? And you know, there's something.
• 19:50
  Very weird. You know, you you're different
• 19:53
  your men. You don't have as many parts.
• 19:54
  You know, we have to lift part since you know just is still
• 19:58
  equal, don't it's very humbling, it's just a really shitty
• 20:07
  feeling. And so, you know, the first
• 20:09
  night I don't know if this happens in Men's prison, but in
• 20:12
  women's prison at night, you just you hear women, crying.
• 20:16
  That's all you hear. Is women crying.
• 20:20
  They were The kids and shit, right?
• 20:21
  They're worried about their kids, a lot of them had other
• 20:24
  cases. They were so waiting on hearing
• 20:25
  about just a lot of sadness. Yeah, Sanderson in a way that
• 20:32
  you wouldn't get out here, you know, there were pregnant,
• 20:35
  women, who were giving birth, you know, you'd see women
• 20:38
  getting taken across the yard to have their babies, you know, or
• 20:42
  people going into labor while you're at your work job.
• 20:45
  You know, that's a weird and then they come back two days
• 20:48
  later and there's no baby obviously, you know and it's
• 20:50
  like like, Some of these women didn't have places for their
• 20:54
  children to go. And this is a really weird fact.
• 20:56
  I don't know if you know this but and the state of Missouri if
• 20:59
  you don't have a parent or a legal guardian to step up to
• 21:06
  raise the baby that you've had, while you're in prison, they go
• 21:08
  to an Amish community. Hmm.
• 21:10
  And if you're into, this is not a joke.
• 21:12
  And if you're incarcerated for more than a year, you
• 21:15
  automatically lose your parental rights and the Amish can keep
• 21:18
  your children. Wow.
• 21:20
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 21:24
  Yeah. Okay.
• 21:26
  Girls don't go to prison. That's a big.
• 21:30
  Yes deterrent. Okay.
• 21:33
  So Did you stepping into this? You went through probably two or
• 21:39
  three weeks of hell, just to get everything out of your system.
• 21:44
  Yeah, there's a fun way to do that.
• 21:46
  I don't recommend it. I was in the Psychiatry you go
• 21:49
  through RN. Oh right.
• 21:51
  Like registration and orientation.
• 21:53
  And you get, you know, you go to the dentist and you make sure
• 21:56
  you got all your TV tests and all of that.
• 21:59
  And I went to the Psychiatry appointment and I was like, I
• 22:03
  just need to sleep like I just want to sleep.
• 22:06
  Tell me how I can get like, I just like can exist, right?
• 22:09
  Like, I just want to sleep. I should be able to fucking
• 22:10
  sleep and so they were like, well, the only place you can
• 22:13
  really sleep is the whole and I was like, okay, well kind of go
• 22:16
  there. Like what do I have to do to go
• 22:17
  down? Not too many people ask her
• 22:19
  request that one. I just wanted to learn second
• 22:22
  late as well, so he goes well, you know, you can sleep there.
• 22:26
  That's a fact that's all you can do.
• 22:29
  I picked up a stapler and I threw it across the room and he
• 22:32
  hit the button and he goes, you got what you wanted.
• 22:34
  Was like thank you Jesus. I didn't always going to be
• 22:36
  there Naik. But wait, there was a caveat to
• 22:39
  that. I did not know.
• 22:39
  I was not going to be allowed sheets or clothing because it
• 22:42
  was a psych. So I didn't know that was going
• 22:44
  to happen, but had the Turtles suit, I had.
• 22:47
  Yeah, I was literally naked for two site straight week sleeping
• 22:51
  with the lights on no sheet. Hmm, I don't sound good.
• 22:54
  So it was a trade-off I guess. So, will you were there for two
• 22:59
  weeks? And the whole I was in the hole
• 23:01
  for two weeks. That's a hell of an entry and a
• 23:02
  prison. Yeah, I felt like I could do
• 23:05
  anything. Wow.
• 23:07
  So you join, let me catch up with you.
• 23:10
  So you so you will We caught up on a little bit when before the
• 23:16
  podcast, but your thing kind of just happened and I mean you you
• 23:21
  were living your life and running with your friends and
• 23:26
  you get invited to a party and things.
• 23:30
  Get different. When you wake up the next day
• 23:32
  and I'd say, you would Well, we're going fast.
• 23:36
  Forward to move back. How about a prison running?
• 23:39
  Really fucking fast. Now, I got Lambos and mansions
• 23:42
  and business and everything like a Florida, Miami Fort
• 23:46
  Lauderdale. So stay out.
• 23:50
  Stay freedoms. Good.
• 23:52
  Right now my situation. Yeah, it is it is kind of crazy.
• 24:00
  Had you ever had any other situations that you'd been in?
• 24:03
  Or was this like all of a sudden the situation and it was a bad
• 24:07
  one as a youth or as an adult. I mean this this happened to
• 24:13
  you. Probably what?
• 24:14
  When you were 19 or 20, yeah, was there was nothing too
• 24:18
  serious. Is what we are describing right
• 24:19
  now. That yeah never in my life.
• 24:22
  Yeah, I mean, I see things. Yeah.
• 24:25
  I'm sure. Yeah.
• 24:27
  Well you could. Where did you grow up?
• 24:29
  What part is st. Louis Place.
• 24:32
  And so now it's called, what is it called something places, or
• 24:37
  something like that, because they are trying to change from
• 24:39
  the north, that is north side of st.
• 24:41
  Louis bad stuff in the city, move all the black folks.
• 24:46
  But if you called it gentrification, Ian thank you.
• 24:49
  It's a big name. Big word.
• 24:51
  That's a that's a college word. Thank you.
• 24:54
  I learned it was gonna get into that.
• 24:59
  Thank you again stepping over dead bodies I will never forget
• 25:03
  that she showed a lot of people shot up but it got to the point.
• 25:09
  I'm like okay where is it? Where's the okay well I got go
• 25:13
  inside now it's time to eat. Hmm.
• 25:16
  Did you ever I mean Run with a, with a bad group, or did you I
• 25:21
  mean. How does that work?
• 25:24
  Oh, did you feel like you were trying to get to me?
• 25:29
  Because all this stuff is you now and that's what made me who
• 25:33
  I am. Yeah.
• 25:34
  So when I was a kid, you know, I don't think you intentionally
• 25:38
  seek out the wrong people. No, will you think?
• 25:41
  I think there's people do the shoe.
• 25:42
  You, I think there's things. You can get confused with
• 25:45
  thinking that somebody's very cool or Or a mentor.
• 25:50
  But you don't know that it's possibly wrong.
• 25:52
  One thing I've learned in life. Is that everything happens for a
• 25:55
  reason? Yeah, everything good.
• 25:56
  I am at. Yeah.
• 25:57
  But no so back onto what you, you know, your eggs that but
• 26:01
  when I was, when I was a kid, you know, like I said, I had so
• 26:05
  many problems going on. My mom got shot by, maybe she
• 26:07
  was pregnant. I didn't have that many friends,
• 26:09
  but I had this one really big fat friend whose name was Spud,
• 26:13
  okay. And he wanted to sit on my Sega
• 26:15
  Genesis and breaking it motherfucker.
• 26:16
  And then my mom got mad at me and I told him that I did it so
• 26:19
  I didn't so you could try but I wind up telling him.
• 26:22
  I'm a man without as a kid like when I was going through, you
• 26:26
  know, and so we say it in the projects and we all used to be
• 26:31
  playing basketball right in the parking.
• 26:33
  Lot in the trash can, was the dumpster was right down the
• 26:36
  street. So he was like, man, come
• 26:38
  outside with me one day we can keep in mind with youngest.
• 26:40
  Hell, I think was like, about 13 to some 12, 13, 14, 15, maybe.
• 26:46
  And so he's like my come outside and I didn't.
• 26:48
  Think shit about it but I didn't know somebody that he told his
• 26:53
  friends about me and our Hood. Mmm.
• 26:55
  So he said come outside one day so I go over his house not going
• 26:58
  to do it you know and I like no judgment shit like bro you just
• 27:01
  brought my sake of I'm not gonna feed that she's I'm sorry.
• 27:03
  Bones are you? My mom got mad at me.
• 27:05
  So we say I want you to meet some people so I'm like, all
• 27:08
  right. Cool.
• 27:11
  So we go around the corner from the trash can and it was it was
• 27:15
  a group of dudes and it's like one chick over there, you know.
• 27:18
  No. And I remember I'm me going up
• 27:23
  to them and I was like, hey man Spud told me all about you man.
• 27:26
  You know you want to hang out with us.
• 27:29
  I'm like Why not? You know, I don't have a fucking
• 27:33
  bad, I don't know. Yes, I'm just literally out her
• 27:35
  as a kid. It's teenager.
• 27:37
  So they say well man, this and so what think about as we are
• 27:40
  Bloods? I don't know if you ever heard
• 27:42
  about Bloods man but we going to be a take care of you man.
• 27:45
  We make sure you eat, make sure you feel good and if you have
• 27:47
  any problem and we got your back.
• 27:49
  So I'm like, okay cool, it's a banana, it's it's not easy, it's
• 27:56
  not it's not that simple, a nigger.
• 27:58
  So I'm like, okay well shit like what I gotta Do you know what's
• 28:01
  up? He said, well, first, we need
• 28:04
  you to do a couple things and it was, it was, it was different,
• 28:10
  you know? I mean, it was things.
• 28:12
  I've never seen as a kid. My dad never showed me this shit
• 28:14
  because he wouldn't hurt her. You know, he never told me what
• 28:16
  the hell goes on in the streets but a wino doing it.
• 28:20
  You know. It's some things that I wish I
• 28:22
  could take back. Yeah to this day.
• 28:25
  But you know, like I said, Everything happens for a reason
• 28:29
  and it's tough. Jordan, no, I wanna do it.
• 28:32
  Yeah. Because, you know, even in the
• 28:34
  gang life within the prison's, you know, there is always some
• 28:39
  type of, there's something that you're the shot callers.
• 28:42
  Get it. Tell you something that you
• 28:44
  don't want to do, because you're the low man on the totem pole,
• 28:47
  and then you eventually be the top.
• 28:49
  Yeah. And it's not it's an ugly
• 28:51
  pressure-packed situation and you know, I I know it's a tough
• 28:58
  life because I know, you know, a couple of guys that actually
• 29:02
  lived at life and my bunkmate was the first guy I met.
• 29:05
  Here's another one, but so fast forward into your situation that
• 29:13
  you got into that cost you eight ten years of your life and it
• 29:21
  sounded like that just all happened so quick.
• 29:25
  Can you walk us through a little bit of that day?
• 29:27
  Say what happened? Oh oh, you tomorrow, when I come
• 29:31
  on tours and shit. When you when you actually went
• 29:34
  to that party and I'm both and all of a sudden that was a few
• 29:40
  got helicopters, you go Sirens. You got.
• 29:43
  That was a that was a fun day man.
• 29:44
  So fun fact about me. And all that leads up to who I
• 29:50
  am. Yeah.
• 29:51
  But fun fact about that when I was young, I didn't know what
• 29:56
  white gives, what? I didn't know, what white dudes
• 29:59
  was. I never seen it.
• 30:00
  Mmm. But my mom always wanted a
• 30:03
  better for me and my sister. So she was sending us out to
• 30:07
  Spur Middle School. Lindbergh High School, sounds
• 30:09
  like a good mom. All they really good Truman
• 30:11
  Elementary and so I'm like, well damn.
• 30:15
  So I walk in first grade and I see My first grade teacher Miss
• 30:19
  Mayton white girl. Oh my God, holy shit.
• 30:22
  Damn, you got a different color. All right, all right, we'll take
• 30:25
  down. That's it.
• 30:27
  I said. So now I'm like, damn, like, I
• 30:29
  think this is like, Rob. I want to be a yeah Nina, you
• 30:34
  know, because being felt different.
• 30:36
  Yeah, being locked in a race but so long it's especially at that
• 30:41
  age. Like you don't seed if you don't
• 30:42
  see Chinese you don't seem Askins, what you see him cutting
• 30:45
  grass? Like no offense in the messages.
• 30:47
  Mangala do was fuck. I love you.
• 30:49
  But you know you just don't see that as growing up but I seen
• 30:54
  her and I'm like, okay, what the hell - what's up?
• 30:57
  So not mood at all way forward to what you saying tonight?
• 31:00
  Ask me again. I got ya.
• 31:02
  Are you saying that that what the story?
• 31:04
  You told me it was like you were at a party?
• 31:06
  Yeah. The next day and the next thing
• 31:09
  you know? Yeah.
• 31:10
  So okay. So what that?
• 31:11
  So, what that party. So now this is me Finna get
• 31:17
  them, meet a white girl, you know?
• 31:18
  I mean, I'm old enough to drive and I was the type of shit, so I
• 31:21
  mean that shit felt so fucking good like I would never take
• 31:24
  that back, you know, there was a long fucking time.
• 31:27
  That's doing everything a bag because it made me who I am
• 31:30
  today. So, anyways, I'm driving down
• 31:32
  the street one day. I think it was so Grand.
• 31:34
  I heard his mmm. Mmm.
• 31:38
  I'm at a red light and saw the lights aren't green eyes right
• 31:41
  on the screen. Next thing I know car pull up
• 31:43
  beside me and it was a chick. She like, hey, what's up?
• 31:46
  I'm like so. I'm high as fuck and I'm drunk.
• 31:48
  I am young. What's up, what's up?
• 31:50
  No. Okay.
• 31:51
  Right. Thank you.
• 31:51
  Hit her car. So I ain't what the fuck.
• 31:57
  My name is Abby and she had a black Cadillac dog.
• 32:02
  So she listened to her music and shit.
• 32:04
  I'm like, I don't know. Like wait, no, no, that's later
• 32:10
  on. It was a difference.
• 32:11
  It was a bigger girl, get my stories mixed up.
• 32:14
  It means something. So I know get off.
• 32:16
  Phone number where I'm hanging up.
• 32:18
  I'll hang it out. And then she's like, well, you
• 32:19
  know what? Let's go to Arnold, man.
• 32:21
  That's that's go out. Hang out.
• 32:22
  Like my friend has his party going on and let's go out there.
• 32:26
  I'm like, okay, let's go. So we wind up, going out to a
• 32:30
  friend party and I met a b. So, this is Abby's parents
• 32:34
  house. So, I'm like, damn, he's like a
• 32:36
  lot of white people in small. I'm like, damn, I like this
• 32:38
  shit, like the music's. Good the trains.
• 32:40
  Good the white dudes, cool me, you know, being black.
• 32:43
  Keep in mind, it's a long time ago.
• 32:45
  So st. Louis is the last slave state.
• 32:47
  So I was kind of felt out of place, but I wanted to bring my
• 32:50
  friend with me, just so you just like, you need somebody wrong.
• 32:53
  Yeah, you know. So we wind up, hanging out the
• 32:56
  party, you know. Everybody's drunk as fuck, man.
• 32:59
  Has been about 3:00 4:00 in the morning and a lice.
• 33:02
  Just start shutting off. Hmm.
• 33:04
  So my damn everybody partner up with somebody, I'll find his
• 33:08
  abandoned room and so open the door and nobody was in there.
• 33:12
  I'm like, hello! Hello, hello, it's hard.
• 33:16
  When do I see fucking swelling on the bed pass out?
• 33:19
  And then next thing I'd smell was breakfast.
• 33:22
  Mmm. And then I heard the door open
• 33:24
  up, she's like, hey, we got, you know, breakfast downstairs, you
• 33:27
  know, if you want to come down and like hang out with us, You
• 33:29
  know, before you guys go. Whatever they can.
• 33:30
  It's fine. It's all good, though.
• 33:32
  That was her friend saying and I Abby.
• 33:34
  Mmm. So I'm like, all right.
• 33:35
  Cool and everyone. So my hands hanging off the pit
• 33:39
  and I look over and I see this. Green box with army numbers on
• 33:45
  and I'm like, and Leash. It look kind of what's in this
• 33:49
  box, so open up the box. And it's a metallic purple and
• 33:55
  green or gray color, revolver 357.
• 33:59
  And had a couple bullets inside a box, man, just to show it's a
• 34:01
  gonna send her. Hmm.
• 34:03
  So my okay cool. I'm like it.
• 34:05
  I can get this to get this gun. Probably shoot a couple times to
• 34:07
  sell it, so I'm like, fuck. I'm going to get the gun.
• 34:10
  So I get the gun out the bars. Couple Buddha's as up the box
• 34:13
  and I look up under the bed just in case I miss something.
• 34:16
  I see a couple boxes of shells so I grabbed them motherfuckers
• 34:18
  do so. Now by paying Saginaw we to the
• 34:20
  fucking kitchen. Where am I?
• 34:22
  Eating fucking breath and shit. And I see my friend over there,
• 34:25
  so I'm like, hey, but we gotta go.
• 34:27
  We gotta get out of here. Like what?
• 34:28
  You told my brother, I did baking.
• 34:29
  Hello Farley, get you a plate. I'm like magnets breakfast.
• 34:32
  Right. We gotta get the fuck.
• 34:35
  So I kind of like pulled up my shirt a little bit, man, showing
• 34:38
  the burner and he's like, yeah, man, but we gotta go so I wind
• 34:41
  up, tell him. Him the big girl.
• 34:44
  She was already cool with that because I guess she was already
• 34:46
  hold back in the day so she can give him.
• 34:47
  He'll about me and you already. So I went up telling Abby now
• 34:50
  that I made, I'm like, hey man, we gotta, we gotta gotta leave,
• 34:55
  do me a favor, my notice your house, making that your friends,
• 34:58
  like, hang out and like, you just take me and my friend home
• 35:00
  is saying to us outside, she said, I don't care, I don't
• 35:04
  care. I'm like baby, let's roll.
• 35:07
  So we all get in the car, go back to the South Side, drop us
• 35:09
  off. And then later on that day, she
• 35:10
  said I got a kind of work but you know, if you My car, you can
• 35:13
  have it, you know, in just pick me up later.
• 35:16
  So I'm like, cool. And so, right around that time,
• 35:19
  the big girl called me she said, hey, my little brother wants his
• 35:22
  haircut. Can you please come out here and
• 35:23
  like, trim them up a little bit? I'm like, I don't care.
• 35:26
  I got Abby's car and shit. She's like I don't care that she
• 35:29
  a good friends, so I wound up me and my friend, why?
• 35:32
  No going back out to her little brother.
• 35:36
  CJ's, mom's hologram my house where we say that, but I didn't
• 35:40
  know that Arnold. People backed in.
• 35:44
  So you headed back to Arnold. Yeah, well, cut, CJ's headbutt.
• 35:48
  So the only reason why Arnold guys had a problem with us.
• 35:51
  It was, it wasn't even just white or black thing.
• 35:54
  It was both of them because we would not from there.
• 35:57
  Yeah. So we driving down the street.
• 35:59
  Next thing on it is a hot summer day, man.
• 36:01
  I'm playing Three 6 Mafia here in the past and let's see, we
• 36:03
  both over bumping his head, you know.
• 36:06
  So now we finally get a block away from a house windows down.
• 36:10
  We having fun sunglasses on We're doing like the whole
• 36:14
  Soulja Boy thing. Like we were healed and the next
• 36:17
  thing I know, I'm like, what the hell was that?
• 36:22
  So I look over to my passenger side and it's a whole mess in
• 36:26
  Pisa on my friends face, you know, and his son got on my
• 36:30
  shoulder. Yeah, so I'm like, hey dude.
• 36:33
  Like we already drunk as fuck. We has.
• 36:34
  He'll like, what the fuck is it with a Taco Bell?
• 36:40
  That's my dream. Those are good just so you know
• 36:43
  you know you don't want to wear it I guess.
• 36:47
  Right. And so now we were we witness
• 36:51
  that shit. Now we don't have going on but
• 36:53
  I'm slowing down. Like my natural instinct is let
• 36:56
  off the gas and slow down and see what the hell.
• 36:59
  Just re-evaluate the hell just happened so I look.
• 37:01
  Alright, bam. And what if I could just hit us?
• 37:04
  Doc. Yeah, bruh.
• 37:05
  What you want to do? I don't know.
• 37:07
  We got the gun in the back seat or trunk.
• 37:08
  You like she? Which one do I like what you
• 37:10
  want to do? What you want?
• 37:10
  And we will So, let's put around the corner, man, so he party
• 37:14
  called 03:57 brand new gun Matt from the Army.
• 37:18
  So, I know that this motherfucker work.
• 37:21
  So we go back around the corner and little homie was mom.
• 37:25
  I want to be homie was a the crib, but, you know, but it was,
• 37:28
  it was a red rag in the backseat.
• 37:30
  So we like, man, hey bro, can I use your admin to wrap around
• 37:32
  the gum and, and because I don't want to get hurt like, yeah,
• 37:35
  man, go ahead. So I'm driving.
• 37:37
  So I'm now be playing Three 6 Mafia if you're not from our
• 37:40
  Hood. Good song man.
• 37:42
  Look it up. But so when I was driving down,
• 37:44
  the street is hell up. He was on a front porch.
• 37:47
  It was women. Men all ages.
• 37:50
  You know, it's like a little Festival going on over there.
• 37:54
  So we wound up playing this song loud.
• 37:56
  I'm like man go so he loaded up and then we speed off so I'm
• 38:03
  like man which was shot into the house with all them people was
• 38:07
  at where that shit came in. They didn't hit anybody so that
• 38:10
  and that's what we're Get in next.
• 38:12
  So I'm like man. Look, dude.
• 38:14
  Well, I guess I'm not going to cut her today, bro, season.
• 38:18
  I mean, that's really the drive-by shooting that you see
• 38:21
  that is on movies, right? And then, so there's a Walgreens
• 38:24
  around the corner. So we put around the back of the
• 38:26
  Walgreens in the parking lot, looser, but some trees over here
• 38:29
  and plants most little shit. That's a man wipe.
• 38:31
  That shit. I want to hand off to do it.
• 38:33
  So we did all that hit the highway and so now I'm calling a
• 38:37
  be on a phone. I'm like bro.
• 38:38
  Like Hey babe, but the cops are behind us.
• 38:44
  What the fuck? You gonna kill me?
• 38:48
  Yeah, oh my God on this, but that's how I am, you know, there
• 38:52
  was all this shit going on. He's in passenger seat, telling
• 38:54
  me to go fast, fast, fast only man, her car doesn't go there
• 38:57
  fucking fast, brother and killed us.
• 38:59
  So why do put it over, you know? And all I heard was sticker
• 39:03
  hands off the car. I'll put drop the phone at the
• 39:05
  fucking window right now, so I did all this shit, his hands
• 39:08
  over there. My hands over here, you know,
• 39:10
  and then when they pull up, you know, and are no police back.
• 39:15
  Then said you fucked up nigger. Mmm my damn bro.
• 39:20
  So they wind up separating us. He's going one crime in another
• 39:23
  car but ironically he pulls off their that his cock or pulled
• 39:27
  off faster than minding me and my cop.
• 39:29
  So I might and we're fuck that going.
• 39:32
  Yeah. What's he saying?
• 39:34
  So you know, saw the car window telling me the whole fucking
• 39:38
  time. I'm going to cart, you know, you
• 39:39
  fucked up, you know, you fucked up.
• 39:40
  You know, you fucked up some. I guess I fucked up.
• 39:44
  So we wind up going to the cop station.
• 39:46
  I'm sitting in the detective office.
• 39:48
  He's sitting across from me. Like you are right now.
• 39:50
  Yeah. And then he saw his gun at all.
• 39:53
  No, no, no, good man. When you talk where's the gun at
• 39:56
  son? I don't know, I don't know.
• 39:57
  Where's the gun at a zebra? I don't know what fuck guns at.
• 40:01
  So he said, okay, well so he put his hand up in front of me but
• 40:05
  looking behind me to somebody else to come here.
• 40:08
  So my back's turned, why this dude is Other Cop come around
• 40:12
  and they flipped down the zip lock bag with the motherfucking
• 40:15
  gun. So I get back to the jail cell.
• 40:22
  Where the fuck did you find a gun?
• 40:24
  And he said, I'm sorry, bro. He said they'd give me a last
• 40:26
  time. Yeah, I said, all right.
• 40:27
  I'll tell you what. I'ma see you later when we get
• 40:29
  there. All right.
• 40:33
  Okey. Okey.
• 40:36
  So we're both you guys. Have you've got two weeks in the
• 40:42
  hole? Yeah, Jordan.
• 40:46
  You you end up? Where do you go?
• 40:48
  So I'll start off at Bond sir and it was live down the shit.
• 40:53
  I mean, if you could pick a crumb of weed off the floor,
• 40:55
  they cost about $20 to $30 in prison.
• 40:58
  Okay? So, and back, then I did smoke
• 41:02
  weed, but I kind of didn't want that shit.
• 41:03
  No more. You know, I mean, because like,
• 41:04
  now I'm going through a whole lot of shit.
• 41:06
  I gotta stay focused. I gotta get my life together,
• 41:07
  like, what the hell's going on? Is being like, I don't know
• 41:09
  where I'm mad, I don't know these people.
• 41:11
  I just know, I gotta stick your chest out, you know, I mean, and
• 41:15
  do what you got to do well, and you're charged with 10 years.
• 41:18
  So you're you're looking at. I mean, you know, in prison if
• 41:22
  You look at 10 years, I mean it's suffocating.
• 41:25
  You get it. Yeah.
• 41:27
  What about you today? Because today is 10 years, a
• 41:30
  long time is too long to think. What did you know people in
• 41:33
  there? No, no.
• 41:35
  But I met my friend. Jason great.
• 41:39
  Yeah but it was it was a it was a very different experience.
• 41:43
  You know what kind of strategies you guys use when you were in
• 41:46
  prison? Because I mean you know there's
• 41:48
  bad days in prison. You feel like you're not
• 41:51
  attached to anybody from the Side.
• 41:53
  Like how'd you get through like what was your you got to.
• 41:56
  You got to pick up. You got to pick a trade.
• 41:58
  Yo, you gotta, you had to pick a tray, whether is drawn pitches
• 42:02
  or better have a hobby making cards or you know if you see
• 42:06
  some other person they get off the bus, we call it the Gray.
• 42:09
  Goose. Yeah.
• 42:10
  Then if any of us on a you're not a, we all homies and shit
• 42:13
  that we feel like we get some free money from like a little
• 42:16
  nerd that get off the bus, who didn't know better than that's
• 42:18
  what we had to do to survive. Hmm.
• 42:20
  You know, so I mean it was a it was a learning.
• 42:22
  The experience. You know you guys had prison
• 42:24
  jobs. Yeah I was picking up cigarette
• 42:27
  butts. You pick up cigarette butts?
• 42:29
  That doesn't sound like a very good present job with several
• 42:32
  prison. Well, other dudes had a clean,
• 42:34
  the shower to happen. It's and mo, you're like, little
• 42:37
  flies cigarette. All right, I get that when I had
• 42:41
  several prison jobs, they only got progressively better.
• 42:45
  I had goals. All right, so I started at
• 42:47
  clothing where I only made Seven dollars and fifty cents a month.
• 42:51
  Big money, big money. Little fun fact.
• 42:54
  I shaved my head the day before I went into prison.
• 42:57
  So I wouldn't have to buy shampoo and conditioner.
• 42:59
  Lot of people do that on the boys side but you know, the
• 43:01
  girls do that. Yeah, they're almost.
• 43:03
  Here was good. Yeah, it's all about yours.
• 43:06
  Which one the lookout. Hold on.
• 43:08
  I'll get to that. It's a little foreshadowing.
• 43:14
  So you are, you were the clothes.
• 43:15
  I worked in clothing and then I worked as a mechanic, on the
• 43:18
  perimeter cars, really? Yeah, they the girls do all the
• 43:22
  maintenance. On them.
• 43:23
  Yeah yeah I can change oil at school.
• 43:26
  I can shine a 12-gauge shotgun and then I ended up in wreck so
• 43:34
  I ran Rex a good job. Rach was the best job.
• 43:38
  I always got leftovers from the CEOs, they would bring in for
• 43:41
  work and they didn't eat him. So I like a smorgasbord, there
• 43:44
  was a guy that was at Leavenworth and his name was L
• 43:47
  and I never know what the rest of his name was but he was he'd
• 43:51
  been there forever and he That wreck job.
• 43:53
  And so he had a room maybe this size but he had like all the hit
• 43:58
  a little TV. Yeah.
• 44:00
  And he everybody, you know, for wreck anything you needed.
• 44:03
  He you'd have to go to him and stand in front of his door and
• 44:05
  he him, but, but L, he was cool, man.
• 44:08
  He, in fact, he was Michael Vick's roommate and then Michael
• 44:16
  Vick left and then L left about a year before I got out.
• 44:20
  But anyway, I remember Remember the wreck job with L because
• 44:24
  everybody's like man else like been here for error is so
• 44:27
  vicious. Got the best job.
• 44:29
  Yeah there was only only to job. That was only two positions you
• 44:32
  had an interview for them. Yeah.
• 44:34
  You would like write a statement.
• 44:35
  I was like yeah, big shit. I got paid like 72 dollars a
• 44:39
  month. Yeah, I was like that's big
• 44:41
  play. I got I got Velveeta cheese
• 44:43
  slices and Welch's grape soda. Yes.
• 44:45
  Well, I mean, my job was I worked at the food warehouse and
• 44:49
  we fed I think twenty two hundred people a day.
• 44:52
  So I got forklift certified. I can drive a forklift.
• 44:58
  I was a clerk, so all the inventory that came in there,
• 45:00
  but with the fun thing that I had was, we had a really fancy
• 45:03
  refrigerated truck. So I got to drive that big truck
• 45:07
  and you know, to drive the big truck, you had to figure out how
• 45:11
  to back that thing up because you had to just use mirrors and,
• 45:15
  you know, he had that automatic pallet jack that got under
• 45:18
  everything and you had to this little.
• 45:19
  So Obviously, we had time to get good at it, but that I did like
• 45:23
  driving the truck. I mean, I, you know, I never got
• 45:26
  to drive any. It was, it was a, it was a
• 45:29
  little bit of a freedom thing. You know that wreck job.
• 45:31
  You couldn't tell me nothing with my Rec.
• 45:33
  Oh yeah, you and I lived, I would get up, I would get up at
• 45:36
  8:00 in the morning. Yeah.
• 45:38
  Leave my cell. Go spend the whole day in the
• 45:40
  rec room because that was my job.
• 45:43
  I could hang out there. Yeah.
• 45:44
  And not come back until you know, Medline at 8 and add your
• 45:47
  own space. Yeah, you know prison is all All
• 45:50
  about space, you know, where you sit, and where you eat and where
• 45:55
  you work, and what your space is when you do that, and people
• 45:59
  don't really understand that so much that from the outside.
• 46:01
  But in the inside this kind of, I think it's a control thing.
• 46:04
  Like it's one of the things you think you control even though
• 46:07
  you don't really have control, I never shared a room or a
• 46:11
  bathroom until I went to prison. Yeah, I had never had that
• 46:15
  experience. So then to go from, not sharing
• 46:19
  anything and everything to live. Really sharing everything was,
• 46:25
  did you make did you make connections friends in there
• 46:28
  that? Oh, yeah II.
• 46:29
  Just I? Yeah.
• 46:31
  There's like really you know, I'm sure it's like they're in
• 46:34
  their men, their Men's prison, there's really genuine people.
• 46:37
  But a women, bring this emotional side to it, you know,
• 46:40
  you hear all these women's stories, you know, while why
• 46:43
  they're there. And there's that empathy that
• 46:47
  you might not have known, you had.
• 46:49
  Yeah, you know, your Like oh, you killed your husband?
• 46:52
  I'm so. So sorry.
• 46:53
  That happened to you like, yeah. Like when you want to be, oh my
• 46:56
  God, you killed your husband. But then you hear, this is a
• 46:59
  background story of how this all took place, right?
• 47:02
  And you're like, oh, this is really changing, my perception
• 47:05
  of, like, open to understanding how people get to where they
• 47:09
  are. Yeah, so when you, when you
• 47:13
  started getting close, when they to getting close to the door to
• 47:17
  get out. What what were your thoughts?
• 47:20
  Because you went In, don't anybody fuck this up for me the
• 47:26
  truth though? Yeah.
• 47:27
  Like seriously people will you know, as you but you have both
• 47:30
  have to know that people will sabotage you on purpose.
• 47:32
  So I was like, people sabotage themselves.
• 47:34
  I was like seriously stayed away from everyone.
• 47:37
  I was like, don't anybody come near me?
• 47:39
  Don't anybody right? It's like it's you went in
• 47:43
  though. Basically, I was a heroin addict
• 47:46
  on drugs in your coming out as somebody who ran the rec center
• 47:50
  and I came out 225 pounds lighter than when I went in.
• 47:54
  So I left in the clothes that I went in and looked like the I,
• 47:59
  you know, I looked ridiculous walking out of that prison.
• 48:04
  How did you feel? What was your thoughts?
• 48:07
  What like you're walking out of there 125 pounds lighter and
• 48:10
  you're not on drugs? Yeah.
• 48:13
  Your whole world is different, right?
• 48:16
  Yeah, I heard you going. I had home plant.
• 48:20
  My home plan was to a boyfriend's house and I was
• 48:25
  there for three days and then I decided to leave him after he
• 48:27
  had supported me. The entire time I was in prison.
• 48:30
  Was that a something you'd been thinking that you're going to
• 48:33
  hear it? It was more a lot about what
• 48:39
  Jordan talks about is like surrounding yourself with the
• 48:42
  right people. People, I couldn't be around the
• 48:45
  same people because it would draw you back.
• 48:47
  I was like this is it's a big step.
• 48:49
  That's also a big tip. I mean you have to get around
• 48:53
  the right people to get to where you want to because if the and
• 48:55
  the wrong people, there's still one thing to if you're setting
• 48:58
  goals and you're trying to work your plan.
• 49:01
  If you're stepping away from what you were doing those same
• 49:04
  people want to pull you back because they're not making the
• 49:07
  positive steps, right? They liked you a lot better
• 49:09
  where you are not to see you succeed.
• 49:11
  It was a it was a lot of degradation when I got out it
• 49:15
  was a lot of like well you did this and you know, this is for
• 49:18
  her bad person, you're a bad person, this is what you did,
• 49:21
  you know, how dare you ask for anything from any of us.
• 49:26
  After you've done all of this to us, you're an ex-felon.
• 49:29
  Yeah. So when the I didn't want to go
• 49:33
  back to this bad Lookout person. Oh yeah, the bad stuff.
• 49:44
  So I kind of knew I wasn't alone you didn't everyone kind of
• 49:53
  known while I was using drugs that I was a bad look out
• 49:56
  because I was, you know, supposed to be watching.
• 49:58
  Learn how to do that. I was yeah, you're supposed to.
• 49:59
  I never learned. Never got the memo.
• 50:01
  So we're in. I'm I'm in the rec room, one
• 50:04
  day, and not the rec room. I'm in the Rotunda, or the Day
• 50:08
  room, one day and these two girls want to go into the
• 50:11
  shower. And I the only person who's not
• 50:14
  doing anything. Will you watch to make sure that
• 50:17
  no one comes in? Well, clearly, I have ADHD and
• 50:23
  should not be in charge of being the lookout because I forgot why
• 50:26
  I was even sitting in the chair. You know why you were there?
• 50:28
  I was like, why am I sitting in this chair place to be sitting,
• 50:32
  right? I've been sitting in this chair
• 50:34
  for like 45 minutes like what is happening?
• 50:36
  So As I see the co walk in, I quickly remember why I, why I'm
• 50:44
  sitting in the chair and tried to get back to them faster?
• 50:49
  And I didn't make it. And as they were coming out,
• 50:51
  they were like we will see you in a month.
• 50:53
  I was like a month for a long time.
• 51:01
  So to fucking see old caught, the girls got girls because you
• 51:04
  was there look out. Yeah.
• 51:07
  But if you would have Select good Lookout.
• 51:09
  They wouldn't have got really hot.
• 51:11
  Did either of you eat? Cigarettes.
• 51:13
  No, I had to eat a cigarette so I didn't get caught smoking.
• 51:16
  And yeah, so I just ate it. Can you imagine eating a
• 51:22
  cigarette right now? Like we do.
• 51:23
  I never thought in a million years that that's what I've said
• 51:27
  that capable of doing, I said like dragging your tongue
• 51:29
  through the asteroid to try to make somebody sick right when
• 51:32
  they've been drinking, you know. Yeah.
• 51:34
  But do I know and in the thing about About at Leavenworth.
• 51:39
  They didn't they didn't allow smoking but they allowed smoking
• 51:43
  but the smoking that they allowed was a guys had to roll
• 51:46
  up, you know, that tobacco and they were smoking these things.
• 51:48
  They burn their fingers and stuff.
• 51:50
  They didn't have regular sick like some like some prisons.
• 51:52
  They actually sell the cigarettes in the commissaries.
• 51:55
  Yeah, Vandalia you got him out of the vending machine.
• 51:57
  So it wasn't like that there and then you could get a cop that
• 52:00
  didn't like it at all and they, you know, write you up.
• 52:05
  Yeah. I don't think you can smoke in
• 52:07
  prison now. At all.
• 52:08
  I don't know. I don't think you can maybe not.
• 52:12
  I mean it's different because it's fed.
• 52:14
  I think it's I think it's all different with, you know.
• 52:19
  I listen to ear hustles sometimes and they those guys I
• 52:22
  think are smoking in San Quentin.
• 52:24
  Yeah. But that's my favorite podcast.
• 52:26
  Link to this page. It is my favorite.
• 52:30
  That's good stuff. So Jordan back to you.
• 52:33
  Now that you've gone to the bathroom and found your way
• 52:35
  back. Yeah.
• 52:38
  I'm going away so you've I'm interested in.
• 52:43
  Okay. So you your you get back into
• 52:46
  Society Running, what are you thinking?
• 52:50
  Like when you're are you thinking I'm going to start my
• 52:53
  way, I'm going to, I'm going to build this world of music and so
• 52:58
  I meet a girl has a is got babies on other shoes.
• 53:01
  So now while I'm in prison like my mom already told about the
• 53:03
  laws of attraction, like yeah, if you can see it, in your mind,
• 53:07
  you could hold it in your And yeah, and it saw me in prison.
• 53:09
  She telling me this shit, I'm like, man, I mean I see
• 53:12
  cigarettes my fucking mind, but it's not in my fucking.
• 53:15
  Can you please send me money on my books and she said no son.
• 53:17
  Fuck you. I'm like that.
• 53:18
  Wait, what? Sure, I'm just playing.
• 53:19
  I got you. So they eventually wind up
• 53:22
  working. And but that's one thing she
• 53:24
  tried to tell me was about the laws of attraction.
• 53:26
  You know if you put out good energy, good, get it back.
• 53:30
  I'm back. You know and so they change your
• 53:33
  life. Basically I mean is that how you
• 53:36
  Your did your mindset change getting all like a motherfucker
• 53:43
  and was that happening while you were, like, we are Midway
• 53:47
  through your sentence when this was going on where you getting
• 53:49
  close to the door. Like when did your mindset get
• 53:52
  to the point? Like man, I see it.
• 53:53
  I can have it. I need to go get it.
• 53:56
  I just got to hold it in my hand.
• 53:57
  Yeah, well I tell you what are you was more or less towards the
• 54:01
  like last couple of years my time because because while I was
• 54:05
  in there, man, Like I was husband shit man.
• 54:07
  I was how to draw on my hand was getting her time.
• 54:09
  Like mash now detected the whole day for day so the role in like
• 54:14
  a time off your back in is time to do it right now.
• 54:17
  So I'm like okay what am I? This shit is actually kind of
• 54:19
  work and I don't know if me doing the laws of attraction, my
• 54:22
  mom taught me that shit like now obviously the whole Missouri's
• 54:25
  doing it because I want to get the hell out of prison and it
• 54:28
  worked. Yeah.
• 54:29
  So I'm like, okay well she I could see me getting out of
• 54:32
  here. Yeah, so I'm like I'm doing it.
• 54:34
  So now while I'm in prison, I'm sitting everybody bill, you know
• 54:38
  cause I'm already music. I was already wrap it in prison.
• 54:40
  Yeah you know we have bands. It almost gives you more street
• 54:44
  cred, right? Yeah I mean I don't know rapper
• 54:46
  but be a rapper from prison. Yeah I mean I don't know but I'm
• 54:49
  here on the street rapping he has a secret of them, there's
• 54:53
  not a lot of female rappers in prison, it's not a, I don't
• 54:57
  know, man. But you know what?
• 54:59
  It worked for me? Yeah, you know, I don't know
• 55:01
  what it just it just worked for me.
• 55:03
  I just thought a composite if I'm performing in prison.
• 55:06
  A lot of us actually performing a prison.
• 55:08
  Yeah, explain that. You know, so you had some guys
• 55:11
  over here, who was like the BART or not the bartender shit, the
• 55:15
  her cut guide, the barber, the barber.
• 55:17
  Yeah, the barber. And then you have to sweep over
• 55:19
  here. You have the cigarette butt guys
• 55:20
  over there and then you have this and this and that over
• 55:22
  there. And then you have the people who
• 55:23
  ran the band room. Yeah.
• 55:25
  So the people who are in a band room was it once we issued our
• 55:28
  supplies for us to come in and write.
• 55:30
  Yeah but one thing about prison is it they say you can't rap
• 55:33
  about anything that you want to rap but just don't make To
• 55:36
  valid. Yeah, because I'm not trying to
• 55:38
  help people motherfuckers, right?
• 55:39
  Riding and shit. Yeah, right.
• 55:41
  So I got me a little group together.
• 55:44
  Some foul play, the drums. Another guy of repay, the
• 55:47
  tambourines or whatever the keyboard and since we want to
• 55:50
  come over too soon, I was rapping and so we have contests
• 55:53
  and then people who won the most contest will get like the extra
• 55:57
  trick-or-treat or the extra Christmas bag.
• 55:59
  Yeah. Because every year in prison got
• 56:02
  a lot of candy and shit. Yeah like you would get there it
• 56:05
  goes and women's prison We got him over at the men's side.
• 56:08
  I wonder why they don't give to the girls.
• 56:09
  I'll check on visit us today at those bags.
• 56:13
  I mean there was a lot of trading going on.
• 56:15
  All right, hold on. We didn't get Christmas back.
• 56:18
  Well you know that's kind of like what got me out so it's
• 56:22
  cool. I think that's and I want to
• 56:25
  talk about because both of you really had a mindset shift
• 56:29
  because you have to because we were talking about this earlier.
• 56:34
  Two-thirds. Go back in three years, 3/4, go
• 56:36
  back and five years. So you got to actually carry the
• 56:39
  weight of that and keep stepping through, because it's a heavy
• 56:42
  weight to get out and be an ex-felon.
• 56:45
  When do you, can you walk me through?
• 56:49
  I mean, you've Wash U st. Louis, you, you're carrying on,
• 56:54
  you know, you're you're you're educated, you're getting more
• 56:58
  educate, can you walk me through how that's happened and how that
• 57:01
  happened? Sure.
• 57:04
  It's actually 100% because I was in prison.
• 57:07
  When I got out, I was court ordered to go to drug treatment
• 57:11
  for the 50,000th time. I was like, I've been clean for
• 57:14
  over a year. Yeah.
• 57:16
  So I went to drug treatment. What does got a good, radio
• 57:18
  voice? A cameo appearance.
• 57:27
  As I do the intros. Oh yeah, I'll do it.
• 57:34
  So a lady came in one afternoon to talk about Vocational,
• 57:39
  Rehabilitation? Okay, I do both.
• 57:41
  Are you both feeling? Okay, so they she told me that I
• 57:45
  could go to today, we're going to pay for me to go to Community
• 57:47
  College. I was like sign me up.
• 57:49
  Yeah like what else? You know?
• 57:51
  Like I'm a convicted felon I you know, give me some more beer,
• 57:55
  I'm gonna drink, whatever. You're giving me like Eminem's.
• 58:00
  Yeah, like I'm just going to take whatever you're like.
• 58:02
  I'm going to do every program that I can.
• 58:04
  So what she would have never have never would have done that.
• 58:09
  No, I never. So I got you go to Community
• 58:11
  College for free, right at the last semester before I was about
• 58:14
  to graduate for from Community College, I had ran into a
• 58:19
  professor at SLU, in the social work department and she was
• 58:21
  like, hey, come to school here, okay?
• 58:23
  Like I'll push your application through blah, blah, blah, great.
• 58:27
  We'd love to have you part of the program.
• 58:30
  Awesome. So I went in my uh, my
• 58:33
  certificate. It and you barely knew this
• 58:35
  person. I've barely hell of an
• 58:36
  oppression. I do, I do do that, so I would
• 58:44
  see here. So I went in with an minor in
• 58:47
  African-American studies with my major in social work.
• 58:50
  Wow decided about halfway through my education that I
• 58:54
  hated social work didn't want that.
• 58:56
  I wanted no part of this and I knew that I knew that I was in
• 59:00
  such a fortunate place that I was like, I have to do.
• 59:03
  Something I have to do passionate.
• 59:06
  Yeah, I have to do something. I can't just do something
• 59:08
  because I want a job. I have to do something on the
• 59:11
  line or write something on a piece of paper.
• 59:13
  And tell me that's what I'm going to do, right?
• 59:14
  I'm not that kind of person, right?
• 59:16
  So I left this class, I hated social work.
• 59:19
  I left this particular class, I went down to my African-American
• 59:22
  studies mentor and I said I hate this.
• 59:26
  I hate social work, he goes. I know I said okay, he goes so
• 59:30
  drop it. I said I'm going to be an
• 59:32
  African Americans. Studies major and he was like I
• 59:35
  was like, I need a job. Like there's no job there he
• 59:37
  goes. You'll make it just fine Watson.
• 59:40
  I was the first white person to graduate from the African
• 59:42
  American studies department at SLU.
• 59:46
  Yeah. And then, you know, I still
• 59:51
  couldn't really get a job. So I decided I was going to
• 59:53
  apply to wash you. I was applied plan to wash you.
• 59:58
  It was the best decision I've ever made in my entire life.
• 1:00:00
  I got to study things that only I wanted to study and it wasn't
• 1:00:04
  about, you know, what was your interest?
• 1:00:08
  So my master's degree is an American culture studies with an
• 1:00:13
  emphasis in biblical studies specifically, I study fate and
• 1:00:17
  Free Will. Wow, that's a lot.
• 1:00:21
  It is a lot. Do you want to hear the name of
• 1:00:23
  my thesis? I'd love to hear the name of its
• 1:00:26
  fate or free will who cares? It doesn't matter and
• 1:00:29
  exploration of Fate exploration of transcendentalism and the
• 1:00:33
  Fall. Wow, that's deep thank you.
• 1:00:37
  That is deep. So yeah, I got to love it but
• 1:00:43
  you know like but that goes back to like doing what you want to
• 1:00:45
  do for a passion, I'm never going to get a job with this
• 1:00:48
  unless you're listening and you have a job very specifically for
• 1:00:50
  me like as a library in our. Oh yeah.
• 1:00:52
  And in a museum somewhere, please call it probably could be
• 1:00:56
  in a librarian. Oh I would love it.
• 1:00:58
  I would love it. Phone sex.
• 1:01:00
  Operator look at your voice. Say it again.
• 1:01:02
  I won't. So when do you, do you have an
• 1:01:09
  idea of what would be what you would like to do?
• 1:01:13
  I mean now you're all educated up?
• 1:01:15
  I know, right? You know, I would love to work
• 1:01:19
  with ex-felons ex-prisoners that's my dream job.
• 1:01:26
  And there's a grant for that. Yeah, and I know maybe some way
• 1:01:31
  I will talk about it afterwards. Okay, Might be a way that you
• 1:01:34
  could do that. Okay, so George was you, man,
• 1:01:40
  okay? I want to know how you get into
• 1:01:41
  the business of what you're doing because you weren't really
• 1:01:45
  in that. When you went in I was trying.
• 1:01:48
  You were trying but then you come out with a whole new thing
• 1:01:52
  man. If I can see it, I can have it.
• 1:01:54
  What? I'm just what did you start
• 1:01:55
  stepping into? How did you get it?
• 1:01:57
  Well, I got fucking Lambos Mansions, beautiful, beautiful
• 1:02:01
  women, who model really good? Good really good friend.
• 1:02:04
  Check out low-key with the do a man.
• 1:02:06
  You find see that? Yeah, well you know I just I
• 1:02:10
  mean I have a lot now. Yeah you know I have I have a
• 1:02:13
  lot, you know, without having it and I can tell you really
• 1:02:16
  enjoying it too. And but but what I think is cool
• 1:02:19
  about what you've done though is you've got like you've reached
• 1:02:22
  out and you've kind of put this whole world together.
• 1:02:26
  Can you kind of give us a little tips of the trade about?
• 1:02:29
  How did you get all that going? Laws of Attraction.
• 1:02:33
  So who did you reach out to, who was it, people that you thought
• 1:02:36
  you admired? Was it people that you knew that
• 1:02:39
  might be of help to you? Like what were your first steps
• 1:02:42
  to get it? The momentum go?
• 1:02:45
  No it was none of this shit. I even know how to do it.
• 1:02:47
  Yeah it wasn't none of this. Okay so I started out like this,
• 1:02:52
  you know? Coming in the world of a lot of
• 1:02:56
  it mean, honestly, there's so many band members out there.
• 1:02:59
  Hmm, every race doing everything they can all type of music and
• 1:03:03
  then some, they hire these PR's needs managers and then, you
• 1:03:08
  know, they also don't go, they don't even go nowhere.
• 1:03:11
  Still because they like, well, what is your budget?
• 1:03:13
  Give me more money, right? - yeah, so I mean you have that
• 1:03:18
  route that a lot of people wind up paying for him losing money,
• 1:03:20
  then they light beers, get, cut off the girlfriend, lose them
• 1:03:23
  kid cry. Crying.
• 1:03:24
  So the came to for a shit because they put all their
• 1:03:25
  dreams and hopes and just one bucket of bullshit.
• 1:03:29
  Yeah. That the world wants you to
• 1:03:30
  think that you have to do and you really don't because and I'm
• 1:03:33
  gonna show her how I got my shit broke his a bitch.
• 1:03:37
  I was broke as hell man. That's desperate.
• 1:03:39
  People can be creative. They get that's where you know
• 1:03:43
  plus imprisonment ologists, right?
• 1:03:45
  You have to use your brain? Yeah.
• 1:03:46
  Use your Noggin. They don't take your brand away.
• 1:03:48
  The white, thank you. So I thought it man was, so when
• 1:03:51
  I got out, you know, Was I was working the cause I just met
• 1:03:56
  this girl. I had sex or we had a kid broke
• 1:03:59
  up because she wind up sleeping with her brother.
• 1:04:01
  Oh shit. Wow, that's all done.
• 1:04:04
  It sounds like Flex series, anyway.
• 1:04:08
  So, you know, I get back to the Grind, some of her husband, but
• 1:04:11
  I still don't have enough money to do nothing, so I will fuck.
• 1:04:14
  Okay. I know I'm a rapper, mmm, as my
• 1:04:17
  passion, you know, go through, then the kid.
• 1:04:19
  So I'm like, you know what, here's the deal.
• 1:04:21
  Let me just get my cell phone out that I finally know how to
• 1:04:23
  use. Because it doesn't have buttons,
• 1:04:25
  you just yes despite screams. Yeah the bites.
• 1:04:28
  Yeah and so I'll go to YouTube because now I found out that
• 1:04:31
  YouTube actually makes Beats without people rapping on them
• 1:04:34
  because at first it was a record.
• 1:04:36
  Yeah, back in the day. Yeah.
• 1:04:38
  So now I'm on YouTube. I'm find these beads and I got
• 1:04:41
  my cell phone that I really know how to use.
• 1:04:44
  And so I'm a hit record and I got the TV over YouTube and so
• 1:04:48
  on. I'm putting both again, I'm
• 1:04:50
  rapping. Yeah, so I put down music in
• 1:04:52
  music in this hallway down. And so on.
• 1:04:54
  I cool. I got a cell phone full of
• 1:04:56
  music, you know, kind of your own Library.
• 1:05:00
  Yeah. And so it's like now I got the
• 1:05:02
  option to do. What I always wanted to do
• 1:05:05
  before we went to prison. Yeah.
• 1:05:07
  And so after that one day I'm driving down downtown st.
• 1:05:12
  Louis. So they had a graffiti wall over
• 1:05:13
  there. And so I see this dude taking
• 1:05:16
  pictures of these models and all these other type of stuff.
• 1:05:19
  Yeah, walk over to my hey, bro. Hey, you know, I'm I'm a rapper.
• 1:05:22
  Look at me, like, I'm around. Can you please take a picture of
• 1:05:24
  me with your girls and all together?
• 1:05:26
  What's your budget? I'm like that.
• 1:05:29
  I don't have money. I don't want something fresh out
• 1:05:32
  of prison, right? I don't have money.
• 1:05:35
  So he's like, I tell you what, going over there to the girls,
• 1:05:38
  man, like introduce yourself to them.
• 1:05:39
  Who you are, that you do, your Loki money.
• 1:05:42
  You know, you're a rapper using this Nat go talk to him like
• 1:05:45
  because my voice is kind of help, but I will add you on
• 1:05:48
  Facebook and even to this day. Now he wants to take free
• 1:05:51
  pictures of me. What's yours?
• 1:05:53
  Because He's a good guy. He come all the way around here.
• 1:05:56
  Like he got the know me as being humble, you know?
• 1:05:58
  And I was still check in on him and like see how he's doing and
• 1:06:01
  stuff like that. So long story short, I wind up
• 1:06:03
  going up to the models Mike. Hey now I feel.
• 1:06:06
  I'm over like I'm a fucking shit only.
• 1:06:09
  I'm lucky. So I walk on water.
• 1:06:11
  Yeah. So I walk over to him, I'm like,
• 1:06:14
  hey girls want to take some pictures with me?
• 1:06:16
  Hell, yeah, sure. You know I love your dimples and
• 1:06:19
  like, you're back to the dump, you know, like you pretty cool
• 1:06:22
  and shits can sing and write. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:06:24
  Like it's so now this photographer, this over like,
• 1:06:26
  whining, this camera. Yeah.
• 1:06:27
  She like he sees me talking to him.
• 1:06:29
  He's like, hey guys, let's take a picture of my work there.
• 1:06:32
  I'm like, yeah, I'm like give me all you guys, Facebook.
• 1:06:40
  You know, I'm saying that we talked that we have, we'll
• 1:06:42
  figure it out all the connections and after that, it's
• 1:06:45
  like, so now I got the model, I got this photographer, it's not
• 1:06:49
  his friends or like Adam e and now because he wind up, taking
• 1:06:52
  that picture of us and Getting make it look so, so pretty and
• 1:06:56
  looks like things are going on. Yeah.
• 1:06:58
  Like I have a fucking music guard.
• 1:06:59
  Well, yeah, just like that. Yeah.
• 1:07:01
  And then, so he says, perception is reality, right?
• 1:07:04
  That's what you gotta fake it till you make.
• 1:07:05
  That's right. And so now his friends like send
• 1:07:08
  me from request the girls to send me a friend request and
• 1:07:10
  then so now their friends and somewhere and not know how this
• 1:07:14
  all happened in this Matrix of a shit.
• 1:07:16
  But now I got exotic car guys like sending me a friend request
• 1:07:19
  and shit and so they like hey bro yeah models in like I know
• 1:07:23
  your wrapper and Like you're a black guy.
• 1:07:25
  I love that, that your homies and shit.
• 1:07:27
  I'm like, yeah, I do like yeah, I got models and shit.
• 1:07:29
  So I told my girls like, hey, man, this guy like with exotic
• 1:07:32
  while I wanna holla at you and shit and so forth.
• 1:07:35
  So now I got the cars, I got the photographer, I got them.
• 1:07:37
  Yeah, I'm a connection. So now I can do all this shit
• 1:07:41
  that I want. So now that's like kind of put
• 1:07:42
  out my music videos and stuff like that nigga.
• 1:07:44
  So some guys I guess it was. I don't know which model it was
• 1:07:47
  but you got some stuff going on. In those videos you got fire
• 1:07:52
  people. It's like a movie because it's
• 1:07:55
  like, you know what? Beautiful.
• 1:07:56
  Yeah. If you saw somebody what you do
• 1:08:00
  you know you get about five people over here that believe in
• 1:08:03
  you. And he have 20 over here, that
• 1:08:05
  dog. And then talk all this shit
• 1:08:07
  about you but then these people who don't give a hell about
• 1:08:09
  these because the world is split in half.
• 1:08:12
  Yep. You have non-believers and they
• 1:08:14
  have Dream Makers. Yeah, and so that's kind of how
• 1:08:17
  I work. You know, the sort of fire guys.
• 1:08:18
  Like hit me up like hey, bro, like I was spend firing your
• 1:08:20
  video and shit like I will eat. I love what you just said, you
• 1:08:23
  get the They series, you got the dream back that cool.
• 1:08:27
  Yeah. And so that's kind of like how
• 1:08:30
  it work and now I'm friends making my dream come true by
• 1:08:32
  being on a podcast. And now, you know, I'm friends
• 1:08:37
  with my friends, with Bone, Thugs-N-Harmony, on friends,
• 1:08:40
  friends with twister. I'm friends with top models, I'm
• 1:08:43
  friends with this guy who owns black tape carpet, and you've
• 1:08:46
  made all these connections. Yeah, and you've just kept
• 1:08:49
  stepping into and I want to make sure that why we're talking
• 1:08:52
  about this. If you go to YouTube, It's
• 1:08:54
  low-key money. So it's low-key one word with
• 1:08:57
  the money sign and that's where you can pop up and they're all
• 1:09:00
  together. You can see the good stuff and
• 1:09:02
  as Amazon and as that's any music outlawed.
• 1:09:05
  Yeah, Loki money but it's so nice.
• 1:09:08
  I don't spell money, just put the money side down.
• 1:09:11
  Yeah, it's good stuff. Well, guys, this has been fun.
• 1:09:15
  I mean, it has I mean, and And you guys have only bad each
• 1:09:21
  other. What a couple of years ago,
• 1:09:23
  maybe. And yeah, I think it's always
• 1:09:26
  think it's just good to get people together coming from all
• 1:09:30
  different backgrounds of stuff, but we have a common
• 1:09:33
  denominator. We're trying to get through,
• 1:09:35
  after prison, to make things happen, right?
• 1:09:37
  And you guys have done that and and Men, I don't really even
• 1:09:41
  know you guys that well done proud as hell what you guys have
• 1:09:45
  done. So I really appreciate that.
• 1:09:49
  Head. So just yeah, we just keep
• 1:09:51
  following. Yeah, well, I really appreciate
• 1:09:54
  that. I didn't have a lot of support
• 1:09:55
  coming out of prison. So the fact that I got to build
• 1:09:58
  all the support that I got is has been just unbelievable.
• 1:10:04
  Wendy, I mean you started from such a, I mean just when you
• 1:10:09
  told me all this stuff is we're talking on my God and then you
• 1:10:12
  you came out and you just stepped into the good stuff and
• 1:10:16
  and and took all the opportunities and made.
• 1:10:19
  Made it work for yourself is cool.
• 1:10:20
  Yeah, thank you. Very cool as was.
• 1:10:22
  Oh Jordan man. Keep making the music and Rafa
• 1:10:26
  men. You got it going on.
• 1:10:27
  I'll keep my wife's. Listen to me.
• 1:10:29
  She said wait that guy is really good.
• 1:10:31
  That's it. Yeah that's what's up to be
• 1:10:35
  talking to him. I guess that's why I tell you
• 1:10:39
  what before I guess we wrap this.
• 1:10:41
  Yes so here's my last project so I'm already I got this video
• 1:10:46
  shooting at the Mansion on the 29th of January.
• 1:10:48
  Yes. So this girl, she's a really
• 1:10:51
  good country singer and she actually made it.
• 1:10:54
  And I think top three and United States.
• 1:10:57
  Wow as like rookie people trying to make.
• 1:10:59
  Yeah she made top three now it stays very cold and so st.
• 1:11:02
  Louis heard of sort of heard about this shit and so now she's
• 1:11:06
  going to be on Fox 2. So she window reaching out to me
• 1:11:09
  and said, hey I'm going to be on Fox 2 News.
• 1:11:13
  So I'm a country singer but I kind of want to Branch out like
• 1:11:16
  doing the country music and I want to bring a wrap guys.
• 1:11:19
  I mean like you want to do a song with me?
• 1:11:22
  No girl. Like I love it when ya like
• 1:11:24
  that. Yeah, some really great Sky.
• 1:11:26
  Be a really great song. I'm like well I'll tell you what
• 1:11:28
  man let me read music and I heard it I'm like holy
• 1:11:32
  motherfucking shit like. Yeah.
• 1:11:35
  So it's like this whole like Nelly and the what is that song
• 1:11:39
  came out? Nellie.
• 1:11:40
  Oh I mean yeah. And they want all the stuff.
• 1:11:50
  Yeah. Rap music is getting into are V
• 1:11:52
  genre so now I'm going to go. Yeah yeah um we're hurrying in
• 1:11:56
  when Zach. When's that going to be
• 1:11:57
  happening? Well, I'm trying to do this
• 1:11:59
  music video now. Yeah, I want to play pressure on
• 1:12:02
  a Jordan. Let's just say it's coming Loki
• 1:12:04
  when the song with her. Like that's why I'm always so
• 1:12:09
  damn busy like you take and you're always making
• 1:12:11
  connections. I love, which word is it?
• 1:12:13
  You've gotten out? And because you've got that
• 1:12:16
  mindset Laws of Attraction, you are taking it.
• 1:12:19
  And if you see it, you go get it.
• 1:12:21
  And and that's that's there's, there's a formula to that.
• 1:12:25
  I love it. Hey everybody.
• 1:12:27
  Thanks for listening today. Nightmare success in and out.
• 1:12:31
  Hey, if you're still looking for a book to read, nightmare
• 1:12:33
  success, you can get on Amazon Barnes & Noble.
• 1:12:36
  Thanks everybody for being here. Jordan, Wendy, a low-key money
• 1:12:39
  every success in and out. Thank you.