Latest / Hustle Rebels: Burnout Recovery for Over-Achievers / How to Overcome Burnout Without Waiting for Motivation | Robyn Godfrey

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How to Overcome Burnout Without Waiting for Motivation | Robyn Godfrey · Hustle Rebels: Burnout Recovery for Over-Achievers

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Why am I throwing my face against this brick wall every day and I'm not getting any value at all from my company?
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_01: Other employees are very valued, but as a salesperson, you're rarely valued the same way.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: So that was really frustrating.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that was what was creating my burnout was I wanted to succeed.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: I wanted to do well, but I wanted to do well for me.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't feel like the company cared about me.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_01: And so therefore I didn't really care about the company.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: I just wanted to succeed for myself.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's also what was happening and running was that I was succeeding for myself.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: This is Hustle Rebels, the podcast for people who still want to win, but are starting to question the cost.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Renee, your host and burnout recovery expert.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: I help overachievers get out from under the grind culture, stop sacrificing themselves to a system that literally never gives back, and actually live a life that they worked so hard for, like they deserve.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: Before retirement takes their decrepit body.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to Hustle Rebels.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: If you've ever pushed yourself hard and started wondering what it's costing you, you're in the right place.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: My guest today is Robin Godfrey, and Robin is a TEDx talk speaker, a keynote speaker, RRCA certified running coach, and the best-selling author of Running the World.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: After leaving a successful corporate sales career, she transformed her life by taking one small step, starting with just 30 seconds on a treadmill at the age of 47, and then went on to complete all six world marathon majors.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Today she helps leaders, teams, and individuals stop waiting for motivation and start creating momentum through small, consistent action.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: So, Rodden, welcome to the Hustle Rebels.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Happy to be here.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love for you to just tell us more about yourself in your own words and kind of how you've transitioned your life to how you've gotten here.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it started in my mid-40s.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: I was feeling burned out, overworked, stressed, and disappointed in how I was taking care of myself.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I was traveling a lot from my job.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_01: And one morning I woke up.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: I had been out late the night before with client dinner.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I woke up the next day and I just wanted to feel better.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: I was kind of ashamed of myself of the way I'd been basically burning the candle at both ends.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: So I went down to the hotel gym and I got on the treadmill and I thought, well, I wonder if I could just run for 30 seconds.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I wasn't a runner at all.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't a person that really had any athletic ability.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: I played some tennis and I would go to the gym, but I didn't really have the ability to run or anything like that.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know what came over me or what made me want to do that.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_01: But I did.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_01: I ran for 30 seconds and I was dying.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: I was sweating profusely.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: I'm really out of breath.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I had to recover for about five minutes, but then I ran again for another 30 seconds.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I did that interval for 20, 30 minutes.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: And as you do when you kind of detox from the night before, you feel better.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: But this time I did it again the next day and I kept doing it.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I ended up starting to run on a regular basis.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_01: And then I thought, well, I'm going to try running outside.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: Then I started doing shorter intervals and running longer and walking less.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: And before I knew it, I was joining a run club and going to races.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I had completely transformed.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: And it all started with that 30 seconds that morning on the treadmill.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: That's crazy.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: What made that moment so different from any other time that you had tried to change something before?
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: I think for me, it was probably not really that different from any other moment.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: It was a turning point.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: Looking back now, I didn't feel like a turning point, but I think it was a turning point in that I started to realize I needed to take better care of myself, that I didn't want to feel terrible all the time.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: And that doing it again the next day just kind of built that trust in myself to say, okay, you can do this.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't have to be perfect.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't have to be for a long period of time.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: It can be for 30 seconds.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: And it just made it easy.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: And looking back now, I see the turning point, but I think in that moment it wasn't visible at all.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I just kept doing it because it felt good.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought this is easy enough that I can keep doing it and I can trust myself to do it.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: I know hindsight is 2020 in so many times where you can't see that moment in the time.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: So with that, you keep saying that turning point.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: What was looking back now that where you are now?
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: What was that turning point or what were the signs leading up to that?
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: Probably a combination of things.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: Midlife, I'd always been a uh, I'm really tall.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_01: I was always thin my whole life.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: I had a high metabolism.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: My metabolism was slowing, and I was seeing the results of that.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: I was also just going out to dinner and drinking a lot of wine with clients.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: And that was just the lifestyle of the job I had in sales.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of really great dinners, really great wine, staying out late, not getting good sleep.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I think all of those things were affecting my weight and just how I felt.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: But I was also in perimenopause, and nobody talked about perimenopause then.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: So I didn't know what was happening in my body.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: I was really confused, a lot of strange things going on.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it was a combination of all those things.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_01: And also just, I think when you're in that kind of midlife range, you're wanting to change your behavior, think about things differently.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you don't want to keep doing the things you've always been doing before.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's just your attitude starts to kind of change a little bit.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I think all of the combination of that was happening when I look back now.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: At the moment it wasn't visible, but seeing now that I think I was on a precipice of just I was really burned out at my job and I loved my job, but I was burning the candle at both ends.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of it was my own fault.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: I know it's definitely so difficult to burn the candle at both ends.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: And then trying to maintain everything that you're trying to do in your own personal life too, when that starts to crumble.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: And then as that's crumbling, you're just wondering like, you gotta go work even harder at your job.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: I saw that a lot in the fire department.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: You know, a lot of the guys would see that their home lives were crumbling.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: So they would just pick up overtime at the fire department, and then they would just blame their home life crumbling on their wife or their kids being too difficult or stuff, something like that.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: When in reality, they're just overworking themselves, you know.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: So when did you realize when you were going from corporate sales career to the seven-time marathon or that it wasn't just about running anymore?
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: Being in sales, you get a quota at the beginning of the year.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: There's usually some sort of contest to see who can become the highest salesperson, or you get a trip, or you win something.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_01: So that competitive nature kind of starts to spark.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: So I'd always been a very goal-oriented person.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_01: And when I started running and I started training, it really lended itself to my personality.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: I could set these milestones, I could reach these milestones.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I was pretty good at breaking things down into small, simple steps that I could achieve.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I love achieving goals.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_01: It was really addictive to me.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't so much competitive with other people as I just wanted to achieve my own goals.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: And running really mirrored my career at that time.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_01: It really mirrored that.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: It also gave me the ability to just run anywhere.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: When I was traveling for work, I could go out of my hotel room and run and explore and see things.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: So it kind of made me feel like a kid again.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: I was adventuring.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: I'd be at a Hilton Garden Inn and Colorado Springs, or I would be at Quantico or something like that.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I would just run around the parking lot if there wasn't anywhere to go.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: But it was just the ability to be outside early in the morning, go exploring, see what's around.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: And when otherwise I would, before I started running, I would basically sleep until it was time to go to my meeting.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: And then I would just go straight to my meeting and never see anything that was in my surroundings.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that ability to kind of mirror what I was doing in sales with the training was really key.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: And a friend of mine was running the World Marathon majors, and I had never heard of them.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't know what it was or what it meant.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: And basically it's a race series.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_01: It's a series now of eight races.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: It used to be only six.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_01: Now there's eight.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_01: And it's basically running these marathons around the world.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought that's a pretty cool goal to have, to run in these most iconic cities and get this really amazing medal that, you know, you call yourself a six-star finisher, is what the title is.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: And there's not very many people at that time in the world that had done this.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: And it's still there's not that many.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's a pretty small number.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_01: So I thought, well, that's a pretty awesome goal to have, to be able to run all these role majors.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: Plus, I love to travel.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: So I've decided to embark on that goal and I went down that path.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: And the one thing for me is once I make a decision to do something, I do not let that go.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: I will go until it's complete.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_01: Even, I mean, I never start a book without finishing it, no matter how bad it is.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: I will complete it.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: And that's kind of what happened here is that I decided to do this, and there were so many obstacles thrown in my way.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_01: We had a hurricane, there was a wildfire, there was an earthquake, my husband got cancer, we had the pandemic.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: It was so many things that got thrown up in front of me.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: And being able to navigate all of these things, my work, all the things that were happening in my personal life was really challenging.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: But I think I kept that North Star and just kept going and was determined that I would finish this.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm so glad I did because it led to so many other things, and I learned so much about myself and about how we, if we set our mind to something and we really want it, we can achieve so much.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: It really brings me to thinking about personal growth versus hustling to hustle, right?
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: Because I mean, I just kind of wrote my newsletter about how I just feel like I have worked my entire life since the age of 12.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: And when I think about that, I feel like I have just been instilled with the idea that I need to work for my worth.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: But then I think about other things where I'm working towards personal growth and it feels so different.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: And when you feel like you have all those obstacles coming at you and you're still maintaining that goal and you need to push through, pushing through those obstacles to see that North Star and to see that goal through, it just feels so much different than to keep pushing through other obstacles when you feel like you're coming at walls, you know, like at work or at your career and burning the candle at both ends.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: And how would you describe that to someone who feels like they're burning the can that wouldn't be able to see that difference?
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: That is a really keen observation, I think, to see the difference between that.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: Because at work, I was hitting brick walls all the time.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: It was so frustrating.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_01: I worked in the government space, so I sold to the government.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_01: And anytime you're dealing with the government, it is a long sales cycle.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_01: There's a lot of obstacles that get thrown up in front of you.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_01: And when I first started out in sales in the government, I really enjoyed it.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: I thought I saw it as a challenge.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'll throw a brick wall in front of me, I'll find a way to get around it.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_01: But after a while, it wears you down.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I think part of it is a lot of these companies now, especially if you're in a sales role, they just don't value you.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: And so it felt like, why am I throwing my face against this brick wall every day and I'm not getting any value at all from my company?
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_01: Other employees are very valued, but as a salesperson, you're rarely valued the same way.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_01: So that was really frustrating.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that was what was creating my burnout was I wanted to succeed.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: I wanted to do well, but I wanted to do well for me.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't, I didn't feel like the company cared about me.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_01: And so therefore, I didn't really care about the company.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_01: I just wanted to succeed for myself.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's also what was happening in running was that I was succeeding for myself.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_01: It didn't have anything to do with anybody else.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_01: It was my goal and my accomplishments.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's the difference in being someone who is chasing something and chasing a goal because it's for yourself.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: You have to know your why.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: You know, why am I doing this?
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm doing this because I want to make this achievement or I want to reach this goal.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: Whereas when you're in a work situation, and especially if you're in a situation where you don't feel that value by your employer, your why starts to get really complicated.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_01: And you're basically doing it for money.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_01: And that only goes so far, right?
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_01: Money will only take you so far.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_01: And then you need some other way to feel like the sense of accomplishment or the sense that you're making a difference.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I just wasn't getting that at work.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_01: It was, I worked in technology, and it's difficult.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_01: I understand there's a lot of people that work at the company, there's a lot going on, but your value was basically measured by how much you could bring into the company.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_01: And you would make a huge sale, and they were like, yeah, that's great.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_01: What are you going to do next?
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_01: And so there was never any moment of just, wow, you did an awesome job.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and that, and that's sales, and I get it.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_01: But it it got old after a while.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_01: After a while, you're thinking, why am I doing this?
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_01: Why do why do I keep throwing myself against this brick wall, not only within my own company, but also just with my customers too.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_01: So it it definitely started to affect me.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_01: I think the years of doing it was probably the reason why.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_01: Some people can do it their whole careers and and they're fine.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't one of those people.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it's just that little ounce of appreciation.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: There's so much psychology behind people just desire a little bit of appreciation, and it goes a long way.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know how businesses can't quite understand that.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's almost like they view it as weakness, where if they show their appreciation to their employees, it's like it's going to make them think that they're too good.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's such a weird mentality that these bosses feel.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_01: I think with corporations that they do value their employees, but I think when it comes to salespeople, they feel like, well, you're getting paid a lot of money.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_01: So therefore, you should be good to go.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_01: But that's not always the case.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: I think a lot of companies could do with treating their salespeople better.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_01: They could keep them longer and keep them engaged longer in their company.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_01: And it doesn't cost them as much money to hire another one and train another one.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: But a lot of times they just let us walk out the door when I think if there was a little bit of appreciation, a little bit of understanding what we're going through as a salesperson out there on the very tip of the spear selling whatever products it is to the customers, it's difficult.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_01: It's a tough job.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I think a lot of people in management and people in engineering and marketing and other fields don't really realize what we're going through.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: They think, oh, you're just whining and dining and shaking hands and kissing babies.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_01: And that's just, it's a lot more than that.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I hope that, you know, just being able to look back now, that I can help people realize that this is an important job and it's tough.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_01: It's a very tough job.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: Because, like you said, people aren't just motivated by money.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: You need to have sort of appreciation.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: And as you mentioned, motivation is very misunderstood in personal and professional growth.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: And can you kind of like break that down about how we don't necessarily just need that motivation, whether it's money or motivation for really end goals in general?
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, motivation can drive performance for sure.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_01: It definitely does.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_01: And having those carrots out there can get you started.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_01: But motivation is a feeling.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_01: So it's going to go up and down.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's going to go in and out.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: You can't rely on it.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_01: And what I believe is that you need to think about what you're doing as a part of who you are, as your identity.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_01: So I'll give an example.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_01: When I first started running, a lot of people say this when they first start running, or even old-time runners, they'll say, Well, I'm not really a runner because I only run a couple miles and I don't run fast or all that.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I say, No, if you are running, you're a runner.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_01: If you're writing, you're a writer.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_01: If you're swimming, you're a swimmer.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_01: There is no I'm not really mentality.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I think taking on that identity, I am a runner.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_01: So therefore, that's what I do.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_01: I get up at five in the morning and I go run with my group three days a week.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_01: And that's who I am, and that's what I do.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_01: If I'm not really a runner, it's easy to say, well, I'm just not going to go.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_01: Taking on that identity and that becoming who you are takes the motivation piece out of it.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_01: Now it becomes a matter of discipline, right?
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_01: And discipline can be easily implemented by getting a community around you, making people help you keep accountable.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_01: So I always text my friends before we we're supposed to run or swim.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, you guys gonna show up tomorrow?
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, I'll be there too.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_01: I am accountable to them, they're accountable to me.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_01: Discipline isn't about beating yourself up, it's about knowing that this is a part of your identity.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: So this is what you do.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: And you get up and you do that every day or every other day or whatever your schedule is.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: And all of a sudden, motivation is not really a factor anymore.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_01: You're not relying on it because it comes and goes and you're not gonna have it all the time.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_01: Now, yes, it can drive performance and it can get you started, but I don't believe it's something that you can count on and rely on going forward to be successful.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's like that idea.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: I think it was it Mel Robbins that talked about the five second rule or something.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like it takes your brain five seconds to understand to basically not tell yourself that it doesn't want to do something.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: So or to dissuade yourself from doing something.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: So don't allow yourself to have the five seconds to stop yourself from doing something.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: So it is interesting when you actually I did it for a while where I was like, I'm just going to follow the hunch.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: That's the other thing that I've heard before.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like just follow the punch in your chest, follow the hunch, and then not give yourself five seconds to dissuade yourself from following that hunch and just do it, act on it.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: Because otherwise you're gonna lose that motivation, like you were saying, it's that emotional feeling behind it.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: So you talk about like the 30 seconds, how does that kind of factor in?
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, to me, it can be 30 seconds, it can be 10 seconds, it becomes five seconds.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_01: The next tiny step.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_01: So, say for example, that you really struggle to get up and go do whatever it is you're gonna do first thing in the morning.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_01: Well, just what's the tiniest step you can do?
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you can throw back the covers.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_01: That's the first thing.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_01: Getting up out of bed.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, I'm up and I'm moving.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_01: I might as well get dressed.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, I'm dressed.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_01: I put my clothes out the night before, so I don't even have to think about it the next morning.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: All right, so I'm up now, I drank some water.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_01: Now I got to get out the door.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: These are tiny steps, right?
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_01: These are small, tiny little steps that you are taking.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_01: And then once you're at the door and you meet your group or your community to do whatever it is you're going to do, you're there.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_01: That's the easy part.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_01: The hard part was just throwing the covers off and getting up, right?
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_01: So taking these small, tiny steps, just like I did on the treadmill that day.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_01: I got on the treadmill and said, could I run for 30 seconds?
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_01: And it was a tiny, tiny amount of time.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like some people might think that's ridiculous, but that was all I could really commit to myself at that moment.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_01: And that's okay.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to make some giant leap.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_01: I heard you talking about this the other day on one of your shorts on your podcast.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_01: Set a timer for a few minutes to go do something that you know needs to be done or that you want to get accomplished.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_01: Set a timer for a minute or two minutes and do it.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: And then you'll probably keep going.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_01: It's like when you clean out your junk drawer and you start off with a couple things, and the next thing you know, you've cleaned the whole thing out.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_01: Most likely you will keep going.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_01: But the key also is to keep going again the next day and the next day.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_01: You can't just do it once.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_01: You have to double down and keep going again and again and again.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_01: And before you know it, it is a habit, a routine, and a habit and routine can turn into a lot.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_01: So that's really the way you start.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't have to be this big, like people think, oh, well, I'm going to start working out and I have to go to the gym for an hour.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_01: No, you don't.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_01: You can do 10 squats in your office.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_01: That's fine.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_01: You can do five.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't have to be this total commitment that is going to interrupt your entire life.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_01: Just do what you can and start off with that and be kind to yourself.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_01: I think also we beat ourselves up.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I only did this.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you did that.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I find myself doing it too.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_01: The other day I went for a swim and I was having all kinds of problems with my goggles.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_01: They were leaking and it was driving me nuts.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I just decided I was going to stop.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_01: And then I felt like, well, I didn't go very far.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_01: I drove all the way over here and I only swam for 20 minutes.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_01: That's ridiculous.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_01: And a friend of mine said, But you did it.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: And it's true.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_01: I did.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_01: I did 20 minutes.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_01: It may not have been what I normally do, but 20 minutes is still 20 minutes.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, you know what?
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_01: I need to just zip it and realize I got out here and I did what I could do for the day.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_01: It's good to go.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: I'm good to go.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: We had to remember too that where we had gotten to that point also was compounding.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like if we got to that burnout point, everything was also compounding in small increments.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: So to think that it's going to dramatically change.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: I know I always used to think like I was very overweight my entire life.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_00: So to think that I had gotten overweight in one day is not going to think that I'm going to become my ideal weight or my ideal strength in one day.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_00: You know, so it's so small, just showing up every single day.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Single day to get back to whatever you want to get back to, whatever your goals are.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: Just showing up is the first step, like you were saying.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_01: I I think it's it's so I don't think we're meant to take this road alone either.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_01: Bring somebody in with you who's going to help you stay accountable.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if you've noticed these a lot of like, you know, smaller gyms are opening up and they're be they're building communities in these gyms, right?
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: And and that is because it helps people to keep coming to the gym because now they have a community there, they have accountability there.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_01: My gym has this little app and you can see who signed up for the class.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_01: And if somebody signed up and they didn't come, then we can be like, where were you?
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and it's not meant to be mean, it's meant to be like, hey, I missed you.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I know that working out is important to you.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_01: Are you good?
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_01: Or okay, hey, do you want to go tomorrow?
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_01: I'll come with you.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_01: That is so key, I think, in achieving anything you want to do.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_01: When I was thinking about writing a book, I was really unsure how to go about it.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I didn't know if it was any good, and I was struggling.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I found a writing group.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_01: And the writing group really helped me figure out how to organize my book.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_01: And they gave me amazing tips and they kept me writing.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_01: That was really the key was they kept me writing because I was accountable to them.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_01: I had to show up with a piece of writing every time we met.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_01: So finding what it is that you're doing and find your tribe, your community, those I call them the people in your envelope who will help you show up and keep showing up and help you achieve your goals.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's so much easier when you bring in other people.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_00: And it brings me to another point too, is figuring out what's keeping you stuck.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: Because those people will help you.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: And it's whether it's a fear of what's keeping you stuck versus something that's trying to protect you.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: And if it's trying to protect you, then those people are going to help you feel safe.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_00: Especially if it's people that you feel safe around.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_00: So how can from your own words help people understand the differences between something that's just keeping you stuck, like you just are fearful of something, or something that has been your whole life just protecting you?
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think if you're feeling a little bit fearful, I feel like you need to do that.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: That is your sign that you need to step outside that comfort zone a little bit and do it.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_01: When I first started swimming, I was super scared to swim in the open water.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_01: I was scared about the creatures, I was scared of just the salt water.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_01: I was scared.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_01: I was petrified.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_01: And the first time I went, I was hyperventilating and freaking out.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_01: But I realized I was okay.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_01: I knew how to swim.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_01: I knew how to do this, and I had a community there with me that were like, we'll make sure you're okay.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_01: You're fine.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_01: And now I love swimming and I do it two or three times a week.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I just can't even imagine if I would have not gone because I was scared.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_01: That fear kind of drove me to like, I'm gonna overcome this.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna let this stop me from doing something that looks really fun, and other people are doing.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I think there's a difference between if you're stuck, maybe it's because you are waiting for the right time or you're waiting to be perfect, or you're waiting for motivation.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_01: And you're gonna wait a long time.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_01: So you need to just take the smallest possible step you can, and that will unstick you.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't have to be a big step, a very tiny step.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_01: But if you are scared of something, I think you really need to look at that.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_01: Are you scared that you're going to fail or fall or die?
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, what is it that you're afraid of?
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_01: And figure out, break that down.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_01: What am I actually afraid of?
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_01: Am I afraid that I'm going to look like a fool?
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_01: Am I afraid that I'm going to not be good at something?
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_01: I think all of those things are valid, but they're also, in the whole scheme of things, not that important really.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_01: I seriously doubt there's probably that many things you're afraid you're going to die that you're wanting to accomplish.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_01: So that day when I was afraid to swim, I wasn't really afraid I was going to die.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_01: I was just afraid that I wasn't going to be able to do it.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_01: And then all I had to do was just do the strokes, just swim, and it was fine.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, just taking those first few breaths and getting a rhythm.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_01: And then the next thing you know, I swam the whole way and I was fine.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_01: So I think just when you talk about fear, you know, what is that fear?
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_01: Is it a fear of failure, a fear of looking a certain way or whatever, and break that down into what does that really mean?
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_01: What am I really concerned about?
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_01: Am I afraid that people are going to think I'm X, Y, Z?
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_01: And when I was writing my book, I had some of this like imposter syndrome where I was writing thinking, well, people are going to be like, who is she to think she can write a book about whatever?
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I just said to myself, stop, just stop that feeling.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't matter what anybody else thinks about me.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_01: This is what I want to do.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I can't let what other people might think about me stop me from what I want to accomplish.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I let that go.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I wrote down Mel Robbins Let Them, which I really think means like F them.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_01: I wrote that down on a post-it note and I put it on my laptop and I just looked at it a lot.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_01: And now I don't have to look at it anymore because it that fear, I've conquered that and gotten over it and realized that if you're going to accomplish the things you want to accomplish in your life, you got to understand where that fear is coming and break it down and start to chip away at those pieces.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I call them kind of just throwing them away.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_01: Throw those pieces away.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_01: And it may take therapy, it may take some extra help there.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I think those are all valid, valid things to do.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_00: I do love the fact that you like wrote that down for let them as F them as fuck them.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: Because it really does feel that way.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_00: And it's really a matter of putting yourself first and letting them put themselves first.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what I love about what I started to.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_00: I guess it's kind of how I've morphed my business right now is reminding people that they have the permission to let them, to let themselves, to let other people permission to just say, fuck the system, that it's not giving back to them.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_00: You can put yourself first of however that looks, you know, whether that's a new career or whether that's moving to a different state, whether that's a fresh start, whatever that means.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_00: You could be a runner, you could, you know, join a sports team and like fail at it.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_00: Let them fail however that looks and learn a lesson.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_00: So it's a really interesting concept to give yourself permission, to give other people permission, and especially parents with kids, too.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like that's a huge concept as well, to allow your children to fail in a safe way, that you have to allow them to learn their own life lessons too, which is probably really difficult.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not a parent, so I think it's probably a lot easier for me to say than actually to do.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_00: True, true.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm sure it's really difficult too, because you also coach leaders and teams and building momentum instead of waiting for motivation.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_00: And that probably kind of goes into things that you teach too.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_00: What does that look like inside of an organization that's used to this hustle burnout as a default type of organization?
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think it definitely works the same way.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_01: You know, when you get a quote at the beginning of the year, depending on where I was, I could get millions of dollars of a quota and you think, wow, this is a lot.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I would have a team usually with me, you know, an engineer, an inside salesperson, and we would get a quota and be like, okay, this is what we have this year.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_01: And we immediately start breaking it down.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_01: All right, what do we have to do for the first, you know, couple of weeks of the year?
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_01: What do we have to do by month one, by month two?
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_01: We would break it down and we would set milestones to say, okay, now we know we have to have this much of it by this date.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_01: And we would build in our seasonality and we would take the things that we knew, the knowledge that we had, the experience that we had, and we would break it down into small, manageable tasks.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_01: And we would then execute on those tasks.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_01: It makes life so much easier.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I know what I'm saying can sound oversimplified because some people, I have a really complicated job.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_01: I've overwhelmed, I have a lot of things going on.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_01: But I think it still applies.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_01: If you have a big job, if you're a project manager or you're in another role where there's a lot of different responsibilities, breaking down everything that you have to accomplish and breaking it down into smaller, manageable steps and then completing those tasks.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_01: First of all, you'll feel like you're actually accomplishing something.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_01: It's hard sometimes because you'll go through a whole workday and be like, what did I even do today?
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_01: What did I accomplish?
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_01: I had 10 Zoom calls and I don't feel like I accomplished anything.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_01: And when I would set up calls for different people that I needed to talk to within the organization or with my customer, I would have an agenda every time.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_01: This is what we're going to talk about.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_01: This is what we're going to accomplish today, and then we're going to end the call.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_01: So being prepared with those small tasks that you can accomplish just makes everything so much easier to then get to the bigger things start to take care of themselves because the small tasks have been done.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_01: Now, is that always possible?
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe not.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe there's times when, you know, I still, even though I'm not in the corporate world anymore, I get overwhelmed.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_01: I get overwhelmed with the emails and I'm sitting up thinking, I've got to respond to all these things.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_01: But just sitting down and setting a timer for an hour with no interruptions whatsoever, I can accomplish a lot.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_01: So I think just managing your time, figuring out how you can start with something small and what you want to accomplish in an hour and do it will make you feel better and you'll also get a lot more done.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_01: So in the corporate world, I think this really applies as well because we can just get busy doing we don't even know what.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_01: And then the whole day goes by and you don't even know where it went or what you did.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_01: And that's so frustrating.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_01: At least it was for me.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_01: I found it to be very demotivating to spend a whole day on somebody else's Zoom call that I didn't want to be on or have, you know, didn't need to be on.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I didn't feel like I got any of my own work done.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_01: So I think managing that, managing the people that are trying to take up your time is also important too, to be like, what am I needed for?
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_01: What can we accomplish here just in a couple of minutes rather than having a whole meeting?
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_01: Just things like that.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I think a lot of people know these, but we just get caught up in other people's.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_01: You mentioned this the other day in one of the other monologues, just like other people's emergencies are not your emergency.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_01: So managing that time that other people are trying to take away from you.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_01: And all of these are things that we know, but I think they just get lost sometimes when we're in the thick of it.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_01: So just coming back to what are the small things that I can do for myself that will breed success.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_00: It reminds me of all the LinkedIn memes and Instagram memes that it's like this could have been an email or something.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that happens a lot in corporate America, but you know, it starts with you.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like if you're the one person to say, I'm gonna pick up the phone and call this person and see if we can just resolve it in a couple of minutes, instead of setting up a call, be that person.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_01: And pretty soon it starts to permeate.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_01: Be that person that just picks up the phone and says, Hey, can we just chat for a couple minutes?
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_01: I think we can resolve this.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_01: We don't have to get 10 people on a call.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_01: I think that is that will start to permeate throughout the organization if you start doing it.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_01: A friend of mine talked in a TEDx about picking up trash, and all of a sudden the whole parking lot where he goes to the gym started where there was no trash anymore.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_01: He was a person who started picking up trash, and before you knew it, other people did too.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_01: Once you start changing your behavior, you might be surprised at what kind of goes on around you.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_01: People start changing as well.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's true.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_00: I got a fire science degree when I was in the very beginning of it.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_00: They said it just takes 10 to 15% of the individuals in an organization to start change, and that's all it takes.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_00: And once you can convince 10 to 15% to start changing, the rest, even like the most bitter of the types of people, eventually will start to change as long as the first 10 to 15% starts to change.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_00: So that's all it starts taking, and you just need to convince the first 10 to 15%.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_00: Especially when you're in an environment where you know people are a little bit more bitter and you know, looking out for yeah, a little crow, a little crotchy, like how unions tend to be a little bit.
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_00: You also mentioned there was a season in your life earlier, how you don't always talk about it, but your husband's stage four cancer diagnosis, which can clearly take a toll in so many ways.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_00: And what those years had taught you about taking one step at a time.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_00: Would you be open to share a little bit more about that and how it kind of reinforced how you move through the hard seasons now?
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_01: So my husband was diagnosed with stage four throat cancer and went through the chemo and the radiation.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_01: But I always joke that it's not really a joke, but hot, you know, joke, not funny, but he had to have his jaw completely replaced due to radiation damage.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_01: And that was way harder than cancer.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_01: And it's been a chronic problem ever since.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_01: Struggles with eating, struggles with speaking.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_01: We don't really have much of a social life as a couple anymore.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_01: And all of these things were so hard to accept at the beginning.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_01: It's so your brain is just not going in that direction, and you don't understand what is happening.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_01: Your life is changing completely like overnight.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_01: And it was really hard.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_01: I really struggled with feeling guilty that I was healthy and angry that our life was changing and I couldn't do anything about it.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I became really consumed by that.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I had to get therapy in order to start to understand that I need to let go of these expectations and let go of this guild and anchor because it was just eating me up inside.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I mean, I'm still a work in progress, so I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_01: But I think what got me through this and what really helped me, because there's been a lot of things that have happened in the course of the last eight years, is just taking one step at a time.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, what is something that we can try to accomplish today?
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_01: My husband will get really overwhelmed sometimes with his chronic pain, and there's nothing that can solve it, and he struggles to eat and loses weight.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, okay, well, something I can do right now is I can go make you a milkshake that is very high calorie, that will at least get some food into you and you'll feel a little better.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, he starts to get overwhelmed by the big picture, and I just break it down into small tasks, like what can we do to make you feel better in the next five minutes?
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I find myself getting way ahead.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like he's getting ready to have a procedure that could impact his chronic pain.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I find myself start daydreaming about what it would be like if he wasn't in pain.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, no, wait, just stop.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_01: Let's just get through this next stage before we go down this whole path.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_01: Because it may not happen and we may have other paths to go down.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_01: So just trying to stay, you know, I know it's overused, but in the present moment, what is happening right now?
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_01: What can I do right now to make things better or to make this less overwhelming?
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's hard.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_01: It's hard to, it's a practice.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_01: I'm never gonna be perfect at it.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I like if you see me in the wild being angry and frustrated, it's because I am a work in progress.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_01: But that's what I try to do.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_01: I try to just take the one, the next step at a time.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_01: And when he had his jaw surgery, you know, they took a bone out of his leg, they put it in his jaw, he had a trach, he had this big open wound in his face.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_01: He had his leg was incapacitated because they had taken a bone out of it.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_01: It was a lot going on.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_01: It was a lot.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I am not a very good nurse because I wanted to like throw up when I saw his wounds and I had to do all that.
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_01: But I just kept thinking, okay, here's step one, what I have to do today, step two, step three.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_01: And before you know it, he started healing and things got better.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_01: So I think it's stressful.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_01: It's very stressful.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_01: And remembering that you have to take care of yourself before you can really bring that energy to the other person.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_01: I have to fill my cup in order to help him.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't feel guilty about that anymore.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_01: I do that and I do it all the time.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_01: I go for a run, I go do yoga, I go do what I have to do to fill my cup up so that I can be his support, his rock when he needs me to be.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like there's so many lessons in that whole entire story.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, the yes, so many of us, especially as entrepreneurs, it's very difficult to see the bigger picture and to not get overwhelmed.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, to have someone in your corner that breaks down those little pieces and to be like, okay, this is step one, step two, step three, you know, and eventually it's almost like your 30-second running spree, you know, start with the 30 seconds, do another 30 seconds, another 30 seconds, it just compounds.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_00: And then you do see the bigger picture at the very end when you look back and you're like, oh my gosh, I didn't even realize how far I'd come because you started with those small baby steps that someone was able to help you break down, like you were saying, with finding those accountability partners, like having that ability to find those people that help you take that bigger picture and you break it down into the smaller steps.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_00: But then also having those people walk alongside of you with those really difficult times.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_00: I had that too when I had obviously not even remotely as difficult as what you and your husband are going through, but all the surgeries that I had, and then you lose a sense of your identity when you go through something like that.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_00: And then your partner is walking alongside you, seeing you in a different state that they've never seen you in.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone's losing a portion of their identity, you know?
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_00: And it's so, I feel like you have so many lessons that you probably went through in such a shorter period of time and that you probably have carried into so many ways that you work alongside with people.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I can't imagine that you've put together.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_01: I think if you're ever in a situation where you have to support a caregiver or somebody that's going through something like this, people are very kind and they want to know how he's doing all the time.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_01: And it's very kind that they ask, but sometimes you just don't want to talk about it.
• 40:07
  SPEAKER_01: You just want to hear somebody else's problems or issues because yours are so overwhelming and you're so sick of it and tired of talking about it.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_01: And being able to go out for a run or go do something with the people in my envelope and just have them not ask me and just talk about what's going on in their life is such a relief.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_01: It is a huge relief.
• 40:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I know that people care and I love that and I appreciate that.
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't want to be sounding like she doesn't want us to ask anymore how our husband's doing, how rude.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's not that.
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's just I if something major happens, I'll tell you.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_01: But right now everything's status quo, and I want to talk about something else.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_01: So it definitely has helped me by having this community to kind of not have to talk about it and live it 24-7 to be able to hear somebody else's issues or something's going on with their mother-in-law or whatever.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 40:59
  SPEAKER_01: And it just takes my mind off of it for a little while.
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I would give that advice to anybody that is a caregiver that's dealing with the caregiver.
• 41:08
  SPEAKER_01: They know you care about them.
• 41:10
  SPEAKER_01: Talk about something else to give them a break.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if someone is listening and they're like, I love what Robin has to say, what is just one thing that you would love for them to take away from this conversation?
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_00: And what would you want it to be?
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_01: I think I would say you're never too old to dream another dream.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_01: You're never too anything.
• 41:31
  SPEAKER_01: What is stopping you might be you're not motivated or whatever.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_01: Don't let that keep you from going after what you want to go after.
• 41:38
  SPEAKER_01: I think everyone has something in their head that they are like, I've always wanted to do blank.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_01: What's one tiny step that you can take that gets you toward that?
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't have to be, oh, I want to write a book.
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't have to be a big, overwhelming goal like that.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_01: It could be that I've always wanted to be able to do 10 push-ups on my toes.
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_01: All right, well, let's start with one.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_01: Can you do one?
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_01: Tomorrow, can you do two?
• 42:02
  SPEAKER_01: Start with the tiniest thing.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_01: Don't take yourself so seriously.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_01: Don't feel like you have to go out and do something for an hour for it to count.
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_01: Nobody is keeping track of that.
• 42:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I think when we worry about what other people think about us or what they might be judging us, chances are nobody really cares what you're doing and they're not even paying that much attention to you because they're worried about themselves.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_01: It's just like me.
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_01: I don't judge other people by what they're doing.
• 42:28
  SPEAKER_01: And so why would I think they're judging me?
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_01: They're probably not.
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think just concentrate on yourself and what you want to do and stop waiting.
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_01: Just stop waiting.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_01: You're ready to go.
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_00: Just take the next step.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_00: Don't do, don't give in to that fear because we think our nervous system thinks that we're gonna die.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_00: But like you were saying earlier, very rarely are the things that we think are gonna kill us are actually going to kill us.
• 42:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, I call it getting in touch with like my inner tiger sometimes when I'm in a fearful situation.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_01: Like just like I am a tiger, I'm gonna go after this, I'm gonna succeed.
• 43:09
  SPEAKER_01: Just whatever it is that you need to do to get it yourself going, like get that person activated and bring other people with you.
• 43:18
  SPEAKER_01: Find the tribe.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_00: Well, Robin, this has been such a great conversation with so much richness to it.
• 43:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm so thankful for you being so generous with your story.
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_00: And before we wrap up, I would love if you told everyone that's listening where they can find you, more about running the world, your TED X talk, and how people can bring you in to speak as well.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, the best place probably is my website.
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_01: It's my name, R-O-B-Y-N Gottfrey, G-O-D-F-R-E-Y dot com, RobinGottfrey.com.
• 43:48
  SPEAKER_01: My TEDx is uh linked on there.
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um, information on Booking Me to Speak is on there.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_01: And also I'm on LinkedIn under my name.
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_01: I'm on Instagram, robin.gotfrey.speaker.
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_01: My book is called Running the World.
• 44:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's on Amazon, Barnes and Noble.
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_01: It's also an audio format.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so if you are a runner or you want to listen to it while you're driving or something, it's it's available.
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_01: You also get it from your local library.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_01: You can request it.
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, nice.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_00: That's pretty awesome.
• 44:15
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_00: Well, all of those links are going to be in the show notes in the description as well, so you can find them very easily to be able to connect with Robin as well.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_00: So that is it for this episode of Hustle Rebels.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_00: If this conversation gave you something to sit with, the absolute best thing that you can do is take it with you in your own 30 seconds today, whatever that might look like for you.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_00: So follow the show wherever you're listening.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_00: Leave a review if you've got a minute, and send this episode to someone who needs to definitely hear it.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_00: So, new episodes and conversations like this drop every Thursday.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_00: And we will see you in the next one.