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THE POWER OF SAYING NO: Watching the Narcissist Collapse · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So what happens when you tell a narcissist no?
• 0:04
  When you use that 2 letter word against that toxic narcissistic
• 0:10
  person? When you just look them directly
• 0:12
  in their face and say no? How would they react?
• 0:16
  What would they do? That's what we're covering
• 0:19
  today. Y'all.
• 0:20
  Of course, if you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
• 0:21
  I'm a diagnosed narcissist here to give you the inside look at
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  the mind of a narcissist and let's hop right into it.
• 0:27
  Y'all Seriously? One of the main words, if not
• 0:30
  the main word that narcissists hate the most is the word no.
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  I think that most if not all people can agree upon that.
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  I think that most, if not all people can agree that
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  narcissists hate hearing the word no.
• 0:45
  Because if you tell a narcissist no, most if not all of
• 0:51
  narcissists will lose their damn minds because narcissists hate
• 0:57
  to hear that word. Like the word no is such a short
• 1:00
  word. It's only 2 letters, right?
• 1:03
  It's such a small word, but it's so powerful because it carries
• 1:07
  to a narcissist, it carries so much weight and so much shame
• 1:12
  with it that it can make them go crazy.
• 1:15
  And if you've dealt with this type of person, if you've been
• 1:18
  dealing with this type of person, you know exactly what
• 1:19
  I'm saying. If you say no to them, they can
• 1:23
  lose it. A lot of y'all get it.
• 1:27
  You get it. You're like, well, damn, Lee,
• 1:28
  you're right. I told my partner no and he
• 1:31
  tried to take my life. Yeah, they tell.
• 1:33
  Yeah. Some of these are suggested.
• 1:34
  People are crazy. Let's be real.
• 1:37
  Some of them are absolutely crazy.
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  Some of them will lose their minds.
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  They will. Because no makes them feel
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  rejection. Because no makes them feel
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  shame. Because no means no more access.
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  Because no means no contact. You see what I'm saying, Like no
• 1:55
  means no power or less power in this situation.
• 1:58
  So whatever, whatever the situation is, it could be
• 2:01
  something small. There doesn't have to be some
• 2:03
  type of majorly huge situation where you're dealing with this
• 2:06
  narcissist, right? It means something small or
• 2:09
  small in compare in comparison to, you know, the large issues
• 2:12
  that you can be dealing with the narcissist, right?
• 2:14
  Like it doesn't have to be something huge if they're asking
• 2:17
  you to do something right or asking you to get back with
• 2:20
  them, asking you to give them another chance, asking you to
• 2:24
  just love them and just forgive them for whatever they've done
• 2:27
  to you and you just say no or some form of it.
• 2:30
  You make them feel that rejection.
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  Man, you better, some of you better watch out because the
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  more you tell them no, the more some of them will lose their
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  minds, the more some of them will become aggravated and some
• 2:43
  of them will come become violent.
• 2:45
  I literally did a one-on-one call.
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  I still I still do those over zoom mental illness that net.
• 2:52
  I did a one-on-one call the other day right and the woman
• 2:55
  said she told her partner no, like she was like super tired
• 2:58
  and he wanted to he wanted to clap some cheeks at night and
• 3:02
  she's like, no, can we do it? Wait till tomorrow morning?
• 3:04
  I'm just super tired. I had the kids all day.
• 3:06
  I work you don't work. I've been you've been sitting at
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  home all day. I'm just exhausted.
• 3:10
  Let's do this tomorrow. This man literally took it.
• 3:14
  S ate her. He literally he's like if you
• 3:18
  don't get him, I want to take it.
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  I I have needs you gonna meet those and if you don't meet
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  those needs, I'm going to take and he's just literally
• 3:24
  assaulted her and I think she in the pressing charges on the I
• 3:28
  don't know if he got locked. I don't know how he ended up
• 3:29
  going, but he literally assaulted her because she sold
• 3:32
  the work showed him no that she didn't want to do.
• 3:34
  She didn't say no, not ever. She just said not right now.
• 3:40
  Tomorrow morning, give me a couple.
• 3:41
  I didn't sleep on it right and his man lost his mind and
• 3:44
  literally S aid her took it from her and act like nothing
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  happened. Went right to sleep, act like
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  nothing happened. Woke up in the morning, try to
• 3:51
  kiss her. She says I had a great night
• 3:53
  last night babe after he assaulted her just 'cause she
• 3:57
  said the word no. I'm just telling you the word no
• 4:00
  carries so much power and weight with narcissistic people.
• 4:03
  I'm afraid of the word no. I promise you this is this is
• 4:07
  real life right here. I promise you I'm so I used to
• 4:10
  be. I'm still afraid of it now, but
• 4:12
  not as much as I used to be. I used to be so afraid of the
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  word no that I I will let it hold me back from actually doing
• 4:19
  things that I actually wanted to do.
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  Like if it was a girl I wanted to talk to, an opportunity I
• 4:24
  wanted to pursue. I was so afraid of the word no
• 4:27
  that I just wouldn't do it because hey, at least I didn't
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  get told no. I might have missed out on an
• 4:32
  amazing opportunity, but at least I didn't get at least I
• 4:35
  didn't get that rejection right. At least I didn't hear the word
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  no, right. At least at least I have the
• 4:39
  ability to navigate forward, right?
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  That's what be going on. That's what be happening.
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  Because if you're dealing with a narcissistic person, like they
• 4:48
  don't want to hear that word, that word is just like I'm it's
• 4:51
  like the narcissist kryptonite. You know, a lot of narcissists
• 4:54
  think they're Superman. We think we're Superman, right?
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  The our kryptonite is the word no.
• 5:02
  I know that sounds crazy, but it seriously, it is like this is
• 5:06
  not a test that you want to do. I'm just saying if you want, if
• 5:09
  you did this test, you probably get these results that I'm
• 5:12
  bother to describe. If you want them to your
• 5:14
  narcissistic partner and they ask you something simple, simple
• 5:18
  and you say no, This is what I'm just telling and they lose their
• 5:21
  minds. They start screaming and yelling
• 5:23
  at you or they give you the silence remit that shows you how
• 5:26
  much, how powerful the word no is.
• 5:29
  And yes, if you tell the narcissist no, sooner or later
• 5:32
  they're going to try to get you back.
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  If you deny me access, deny me something, say no to me, make me
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  feel rejected, I'm never going to forget it.
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  And sooner or later, when you need something from me, which I
• 5:44
  think that you inevitably will, I'm going to be able to say no
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  to you. Even if it's hurt, if it, even
• 5:49
  if it's going to hurt me. Narcissistic people will cut out
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  their nose to spite their faces. They will just burn the whole
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  house down in this situation. They will hurt themselves just
• 6:00
  to get back at you. That's the ego.
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  The ego that three letter word is, is is at the mercy of that
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  two letter word. Their ego is at the mercy of the
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  word no. And This is why I tell people
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  get if you want to spot a narcissist early on, get used to
• 6:17
  saying the word no. Don't be afraid to say the word
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  no. Use it like a weapon.
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  It is your yo. The word no is absolutely a
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  weapon for you. Use it.
• 6:28
  Use it early and use it often. You want to spot a a narcissist
• 6:31
  from a healthy minded person, say no.
• 6:34
  Seriously, just say the word no because they will activate them.
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  Now, if you're afraid to say no, if you're a people pleaser, woo,
• 6:45
  you're going to be in for a wild ride, y'all.
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  I try to shake my hair just now. The dread, It was a phantom
• 6:49
  dread moment. Phantom locks moment right
• 6:51
  there. I just try to shake my hair.
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  I like my Nichols itching. I try to shake my hair off my
• 6:55
  neck and it's gone. There's no hair here, y'all.
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  There's nothing. There's nothing here anymore.
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  It's gone. It's gone.
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  No, I didn't look that, y'all. Yeah, yeah.
• 7:07
  Man, I gotta look. Cut, look, cut, look, cut.
• 7:09
  Look something. Look some, some slight.
• 7:11
  Some slight no but seriously man, I I tell people when I'm
• 7:18
  doing my coaching calls and I'm doing my and whatnot, I tell
• 7:21
  people just say the word no and see how people react.
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  Early on. If you just got out of a toxic
• 7:27
  relationship and you're looking to start dating and you want to
• 7:31
  know how to spot a narcissist early on, you want to know how
• 7:34
  to spot a manipulator or a toxic person or an unhealthy minded
• 7:38
  person, say no. You don't have to say yes to
• 7:42
  everything, even if you like really like a person.
• 7:45
  Even if you really like a person and they ask you to do something
• 7:49
  that you don't want to do, you can absolutely say the word no
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  and see how they react. A healthy minded person, when
• 7:58
  you set a boundary and say the word no or you just say no and
• 8:02
  they a healthy minded person will respect that, perhaps offer
• 8:06
  you an alternative that suits you, you know.
• 8:09
  Hey, you want to go out tomorrow night?
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  Hey, I really had a good amazing first date.
• 8:13
  What about you? Want to continue this thing
• 8:14
  tomorrow night? We can have another date
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  tomorrow. No, I don't.
• 8:18
  No, that doesn't work for me. Rah, you whore.
• 8:23
  I thought you liked me. I thought we were vibing.
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  I thought you really was serious about dating me.
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  Rah. Is that healthy or unhealthy?
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  Now take this example right here.
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  Hey. Hey.
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  I had an amazing time last night on tonight on our first date.
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  Let's do this thing again tomorrow.
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  Will tomorrow work for a second date?
• 8:44
  No, it doesn't really work for me.
• 8:47
  OK, cool. Just yeah, if if you like me, we
• 8:49
  feel each other like throw throw me out some other dates that
• 8:51
  might work for you. I can accommodate your schedule.
• 8:55
  OK, I'll let you know maybe a couple a couple days from now.
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  You see which one is, which one was healthy and which one was
• 9:01
  not healthy. If someone rages and yells and
• 9:04
  screams at you for saying no to a second date or not that or
• 9:07
  just this next date doesn't work, this next date for our
• 9:11
  second date doesn't work and they snap on you.
• 9:15
  You see what I'm saying? Leave that person alone.
• 9:19
  Leave them alone. Don't just get confused.
• 9:21
  Well, I just think they really like me.
• 9:22
  They really want to see me, so they yelled at me and spit in my
• 9:24
  face and stuff like that. They was, they were.
• 9:25
  So you were yelling so loud that spit was flying there when this
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  just means that they like me Rightly.
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  No, no I know some of y'all were like well damn.
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  But I've had it happen before. I gave it a second chance.
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  Don't most people regret giving toxic people when especially
• 9:42
  when they when they show their true colors at upfront and early
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  and often. Most people regret giving that
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  person a second chance. That's just the truth.
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  Most people regret giving that person another chance to redeem
• 9:55
  themselves. Because of course, if they
• 9:56
  redeem this, you give them a chance to redeem themselves.
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  They're going to be on their best behavior.
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  Some people don't deserve a second date.
• 10:02
  Some people don't deserve an opportunity to redeem
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  themselves. Especially if they're damn evil.
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  If they've been evil and trying to hurt you, You see what I'm
• 10:10
  saying? If they've been evil and trying
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  to hurt you on the first date, second day, whatever this is
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  shows you who they are. Use the word no, because they
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  cannot. Most narcissists, I ain't gonna
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  say all, most narcissists can't handle it.
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  They give you a they have to react to the word no.
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  And sometimes they give you a visceral reaction to the word
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  no. They absolutely will do it.
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  They absolutely will give you a visceral reaction.
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  Now, are there some narcissists who are who have damn near
• 10:41
  mastered the art of respecting you up front to manipulate you?
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  Yes. Some of them will hear the word
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  no and they're internally they'd be boiling internally.
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  It's like, it's like the the lava is flowing, not even blood.
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  It's like lava and hot stuff flowing through their veins When
• 10:57
  you tell them the word no, but they might just say, OK, cool,
• 11:01
  give me another night. Everybody say you have to use it
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  early and often because they're sooner or later their armor is
• 11:07
  going to crack. The little narcissistic armor,
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  the little narcissistic coat of arms is going to crack sooner or
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  later. So you have to stay on it.
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  You have to stay empowered in these situations and keep
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  telling them no because I promise you.
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  And at the end of the day, it's going to help you out
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  tremendously to be able to say no to this type of person
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  because it's going to help empower you so much.
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  I promise you. Just say no.
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  Just say no. Y'all remember dare DARE back in
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  the day? I forgot what it stand for but
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  it's the drug. Whatever situation just say no.
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  Dare to say no to your narcissistic partner or early on
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  we can't handle y'all just no brings us shame.
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  It makes us you telling us no makes us feel like we're not
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  enough. You telling us no makes us feel
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  like we are horrible people make makes us feel like we are bad
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  people. Some of us might be bad people
• 12:00
  right? We just don't want to feel that
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  way. Anyways, y'all, the video
• 12:04
  butchers some clarity. If it butchers some peace.
• 12:06
  If it butchers some understanding, smash that like
• 12:08
  button. Leave a comment and also
• 12:10
  subscribe to the channel if you haven't already.
• 12:11
  Y'all. I appreciate every single one of
• 12:13
  y'all greatly. And as always, y'all, as always,
• 12:16
  mental illness is out. Peace.
• 12:20
  That was weird, wasn't it? I won't be doing that again.
• 12:22
  Peace.