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The Same Dream, a Different Path with Paralympic Swimming Champion Christie Raleigh Crossley · Mind Over Mountain

• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Mind Over Mountain with me, Cheryl Strayed. This week,
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: my guest is Paralympic swimmer, Christy Raleigh Crossley. In our conversation,
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Christy and I talk about their career as a collegiate swimmer,
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: the accidents that led to life-altering injuries, and a dream
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: that finally came true in Paris at the Paralympics in 2024.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: Let's listen to our conversation. Christy Raleigh Crossley, welcome to
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: Mind Over Mountain.
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: Thank you for having me.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: I'm glad to get this opportunity to chat with you.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: And before we started talking and recording, you said that
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: you've had many lives like so many of us, but
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: you really have.
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: You've been an elite swimmer.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: For a long time in really two worlds, in the
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: non-disabled world and now as a para-athlete. Can you take
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: us back to the beginning? Where did your relationship with
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: swimming begin? How did you fall in love with it?
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: And how did you... start to take it seriously.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: So it's so funny. I'm in the process of actually
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: writing my memoir. And so I'm literally have all of
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: these memories, like right on the cusp of like, having
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: just put them down on paper. And for me, so
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: my father, he was an all American swimmer in college,
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: he was great. He had records, you know, until I
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: was a elite athlete. But We did all the sports
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: and we grew up doing soccer, baseball. I was on
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: the Little League All-Star team when I was 10 with
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: all the boys. I was on a boys basketball team.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: We did all the sports. But swimming, it was definitely
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: watching the 1996 Olympics. I remember we had met Beth
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: Bosford before she went to swim. So I was very excited.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: involved in watching her race her backstroke, but Amy Van Dyken,
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: who has now become somebody that I look up to
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: as a wheelchair advocate, and watching her swim and race
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: and win the 100 butterfly in Atlanta was just like,
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: I want to do that. I want to be an Olympian.
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: I want to win the 100 butterfly. And I was 10,
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: and it was like, okay... What sport do you want
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: to do? And I was like, swimming. It's all year
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: round because I had to pick between swimming and soccer.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: I was good at both. And it was really, I
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: decided at 10 that this was going to be my life.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: And then I was already a state champion. We were
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: bouncing around teams. And when I was 14, I ended
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: up winning YMCA nationals. All of the things that I
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: wanted to do my freshman year of high school, I
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: succeeded in. In doing like it was like all my
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: high school goals happened the first year. So we just
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: made a move to Florida. I went to a prep
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: school down here and it was we were full in.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: You know, I was that crazy kid that moved twelve
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: hundred miles away from their family to pursue their sport.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: So it was I mean.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: So your family didn't move. You moved yourself.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: So my first year was just me. My sophomore year,
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: I went to swim camp. And I, the summer before
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: sophomore year, and I asked my parents, can I stay
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: the summer? And then I was like, can I stay here?
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: And they had been looking at boarding schools for me.
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: And they were like, I guess. So I moved in
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: with a host family and I lived with them until
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: the mom got cancer. And it was just too much
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: for her to have me come the next year. So
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: we had a split household where one parent was living
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: in New Jersey and then one parent was living here
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: in Florida. And our family kind of just figured it
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: out and made it work.
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: So you guys made a lot. I mean, not just
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: you made a lot of sacrifices.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: Your family did big time. And your dreams did come true.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: Like you said, by the time you're a freshman in
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: high school, you're like, okay, all those goals that I
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: set for myself, I've already achieved them.
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: What happened?
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: How did you make your way to college? What level
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: were you working at and swimming at at that point?
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: So in high school, the focus obviously was let's make
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: an Olympic team. Let's do that. Let's make division one roster.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: So I was a heavily recruited swimmer coming out of
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: high school. I looked at schools like University of Florida,
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: University of Kentucky, UCLA, I was in love with. And
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: then I ended up at Florida State University. And so
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: the high school goals became like, okay, let's, let's go
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: to college. And then in college, it was, I want
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: to be the best swimmer And that started off my
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: freshman year winning the ACC's individually and then going on
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: and as a freshman getting ninth at NCAA's. And yeah,
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: so it was just we kept progressing forward and forward
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: and we were hoping to make it onto that Beijing
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: Olympic team. But unfortunately, a drunk driver prevented that from
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: happening and we had to. Step away, regroup, figure out
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: a new life and go on.
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: Make a new plan. So tell me about that. It
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: was 2007. And you tell me about the accident and
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: what changed your trajectory.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so it was 2007. And I was there was
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: a lot of stuff that was going on in my
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: family's life, in my personal life, stuff that I was
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: dealing with that had happened to me. It was a lot.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: And I had this wonderful college boyfriend. His name was Nick.
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: His name is Nick. Still Nick. He was a cheerleader.
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: Still Nick. He's still Nick. He was a.
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: Cheerleader for Florida State. And he was very much an
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: escape from swimming. And we were off. He was this big,
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: you know, big, strong man. And we were off at
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: a friend's. was doing a promotional thing for one of
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: the bars in Tallahassee. And we went to go support
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: our friends. We weren't, we weren't a part of it.
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: We were there to kind of work and help with
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: like the staffing and stuff on the drive home. We
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: were pulling up to a light that was, that has
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: was turning red. And as we slowed down, we were
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: going about, I think 30, 35 miles an hour and,
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: And suddenly we were just hit from behind. And I
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: later came to find out because a former Florida State
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: teammate who had gotten released from the team prior, he
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: was in that car. He was one of the passengers
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: and he posted about on Facebook because this was in
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: 2007 when people were just posting anything and not realizing
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: the internet was forever. And he posted, oh, we got
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: into this crazy car accident last night and I messaged
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: him and was like, Hey, like what happened? He was like,
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: Oh my God, it was crazy. We were going between
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: like night, like 70 and 90 miles an hour. And like,
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: we just slammed into the back of this car. And
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: I was like, Oh, that's crazy. Who do you know
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: who you hit? And he was like, no, I have
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: no idea, but they took them off in an ambulance.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: I was like, it was me. And he knew in
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: that instant, like, Oh wow. Cause I was at that time,
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: like I didn't swim well at NCAAs, but I was
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: fifth in the country at the time. In my best event.
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: And it's the year before the Olympics. And it's like,
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: he was a swimmer. He knew, like, oh, this is bad. Like,
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: we just... Right.
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: Well, I mean, just on the human level, it's bad.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: But he knew, too, what an impact this would have
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: on your ambitions to make the Olympic team.
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: And it was... It was devastating. It was a loss
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: of identity. I was told, listen, you're never going to
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: swim as well as you did before. I had all
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: of these, um, discs bulging in my neck. I mean,
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: I still have them. They still are continuing to cause
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: more and more problems. Um, as they like close in
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: on the spinal cord, it's, it's not a good situation
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: in my neck, but that all started back in 2007.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: And so we were told, like, listen, swimming's not going
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: to really happen. And so I just was like, OK,
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: I guess I'm going to be a college kid. And
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: I was hanging out with the cheerleaders. I would just
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: go to cheerleading practice and just watch them. And I
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: was like the cheerleader of the cheerleaders. And I worked
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: in bars.
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: Somebody's got to cheer the cheerleaders on.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: So at this point, you were like 20 or 19?
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: I was 20 years old.
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: And so that was like that year of college was just...
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: it was, if it wasn't for Nick, um, I, I
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: don't know what would have happened. Like he definitely kept
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: it my world centered after having lost that identity. Um,
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: and he was definitely the person that I needed in
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: my life at that time. And, you know, they say
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: that people come into your lives when you need them
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: and then they leave when you, you no longer do. And, um,
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: He was very supportive of me when I decided that
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: I wanted to go back to swimming after the 2008 Olympics.
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: I watched all my friends break world records like Rebecca
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: Soni broke a world record. I'd been swimming with her
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: since we were little kids and I just I wasn't
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: done with the sport. And so I packed up in
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: a week and moved to Baltimore and Nick supported me.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: We tried to do the long distance thing. It did
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: not work. We were far too young for that. But
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: I do credit him so much for being the person
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: that I needed to get through that time because I
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: wasn't at a place where I could be the person
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: that I needed.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: I can imagine, as you said, you're not only watching
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: the Olympics and knowing that you had set your sights
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: on this for years and you wanted to be there
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: and you weren't there, but you even had that kind
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: of intimacy with actually knowing some of the people who
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: were competing in the Olympics in the sports that, in
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: this very sport that you had, you know, there's never
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: any guarantee, but you had a good shot at, right?
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: And a lot of people watching that would have spiraled
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: down even further into a sense of despair and doom.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: And instead for you, it was an inspiration. You're like,
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: I'm not done. I'm getting back in the pool, whatever
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: it takes. Take us inside that, the psychology of that.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: What made you feel motivated rather than defeated by watching
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: someone else's dreams come true, the dream that you had had?
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: I guess it was because I had already spiraled so
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: far and I was already at the bottom. And so
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: to see the you know, the dream that I had
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: had that had taken me, you know, away from all
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: my family and friends, you know, it was still like,
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: I had, I had faith in myself. I, I was
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: a very, very, I don't want to use the word egotistical,
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: although it is a very fitting word for who I
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: was back then, but I was a very self-confident individual.
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: And I had this delusional thought that like, it didn't
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: matter what somebody had said. I was going to figure
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: out a way to do it because I mean, my
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: dad was always like, no one's going to tell you, no,
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: you're going to figure out a way to do it.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: And that's how I was raised by him. And it
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: was always, there's, there's a solution to every problem. I'm a,
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: I'm a math nerd. And so it's like, I love
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: to solve problems. And it was just like the next
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: problem to solve. And I didn't up until that point,
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: I didn't realize that I still wanted it. So I
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: think that it was this whole like reigniting of the
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: fire of like watching these friends do it. And and
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: and also I think maybe there's something to be said about,
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: you know, they say that like deja vu is not
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: really deja vu. It's just you experiencing a part of
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: your life that hasn't happened yet. And so like, it's
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: like our lives, we've already lived all these lives. And
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: so things that you dream about and that you like
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: really feel are possible are things that have already happened
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: in another timeline for you. And so you just have
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: to get yourself to that point. So I had, I
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: guess this just deep understanding that one day i would
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: i don't want to i don't want to get emotional
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: that one day i would eventually you can get emotional
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: be on top of that podium and you know watch
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: the flag rise and hear the star spangled banner being
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: played for my accomplishments so like i don't it was
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: just like this internal pull of like you've got to
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: go you've got to go do this um.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah So you went to Baltimore. What, what was in Baltimore?
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: What was that next step in your climb over the mountain?
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: So it's the swimming world is a very small world.
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: So it's like, yes, like people are like, Oh, Katie Ledecky.
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: Like people know these Olympians names, but like for us,
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: it's like, it's a very small world. Like these are
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: the people that we see. I mean, my daughter ran
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: over Katie Ledecky's foot with my wheelchair one time during
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: a race. Like We live in a very, very small world.
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: We all knew that after Beijing, Michael Phelps would be
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: coming back to Baltimore, which is where he had grown up.
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: He had purchased the team with Bob Bowman, and they
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: were going to go back to MBAC, and there was
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: going to be this collegiate post-grad thing um group that
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: was gonna train for London there and so I knew
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: that this was happening I had a distinct cousin that
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: lived in Baltimore who had a spare room and it
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: was like yeah come over here and and we'll figure
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: this out and we'll do it and I I packed
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: up my life into the Toyota 4Runner that my dad
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: had bought for me and drove to Baltimore without ever
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: talking to the team. And I walked into the pool
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: one day and I was just like, hey, can I
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: swim here? And they were like, uh, I guess we
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: can see. And I was at this point, I hadn't
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: swam in over a year and a half. I was
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: probably 30 pounds overweight and North Baltimore Aquatic is known
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: for putting out distance swimmers, like 400 IMers. I mean,
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: that's Bob Bowman's specialty of like those distance. And here
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: I am a sprinter, not at all what they're expecting.
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: And they're like, yeah, I guess we could figure out
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: if it works. And I worked very hard with my coach,
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: Paul Yetter. And we got to a point where he
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: was like, okay. And he said something to me that
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: to this day sticks. He's he said, Christy and Paul,
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: Paul himself is also an Olympic coach. He was Katie
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: Hoff's coach. He coached her to her gold medals. Um,
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: he said to me, Christy, I think you're the greatest
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: swimmer that nobody knows about. And at, you know, 21, 22,
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: like that hit me so hard. And I was just like,
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: for a coach to have that much confidence in you
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: and be ready to buy all in, like I was
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: all into, um, Hmm.
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: That's, that's amazing.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: What did it feel like to, to have to rebuild
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: your body again? You know, that you, that you've, you're
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: not in the swimming shape that you'd been in, frankly, for,
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: since you were a kid, right? How, how was that to,
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: to get back in there and get back, get your
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: body and your swimming back?
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: So if we actually rewind, um, a couple of months
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: before I did that, I was home for my sister's
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: high school graduation. And I was hit by a car
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: as a pedestrian.
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: And so I.
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: So a second car accident, right? Second car accident, yes.
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: So I ended up on the hood of the car
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: after there was this whole... It's a very elaborate story,
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: but the gist... I went after somebody because they had
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: attacked my friend and I. They got in their car
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: as they were pulling away. I was on the phone
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: with 911. They hit me. I ended up on the
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: hood of the car. They turned, I went 10 feet
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: in the air and came down on my head and
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: I was still on the phone with 911. And I said,
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: I just put the phone. I said, I was just
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: hit by a car. We're also going to need an ambulance.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: And then I handed the phone to my best friend
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: as I was still laying in what I found out
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: was a pool of my own blood.
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: And, um, Yeah, it was crazy.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: The cop who showed up on scene, I started just
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: rattling off. I was like, this is the car. This
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: is the make the model. I said, you'll find my
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: handprint on the front windshield. He was wearing a white
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: undershirt and gray basketball shorts. And the cop was like, how.
• 18:03
  Speaker 4: Do you know this?
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: And I was like, I was on the hood. I
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: was on the windshield of the car. And he was like,
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: oh my God, he was, and he looked at my friend.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: He was like, what do you guys do? And we
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: were ocean lifeguards at the time. And she was like,
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: we're ocean lifeguards. Like we're so used to having to
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: give that information.
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: During like mass casualty or.
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: Like emergency events that like, it was just second nature
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: for me to rattle it off. But now I look
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: back and I'm like that, that must've been an insane
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: moment for that cop to like, have this person just laying.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: And I was also evaluating myself. I was like, I
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: can feel my feet. I'm wiggling my toes.
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: Absolutely.
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: And also to be on the phone with 911 as
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: you yourself then need 911. So that's also then in the,
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: in the rear view mirror, by the time you're, you're
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: standing there in Baltimore out of shape saying like, Hey coach,
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: sign me up. You have had these two accidents that
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: have harmed you.
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: Both psychologically and physically.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: These accidents are what eventually led you to the paraswim world.
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: And so we didn't know the extent of it. And
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: I swam that entire time at North Baltimore. And then
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: when I went back and swam collegiately again with my sister,
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: I swam that whole time with this paraswim. blood tumor
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: growing in my brain that we just didn't know about.
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: And I was just progressively getting more and more disabled.
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: But when we look back, I'm very fortunate to, like
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: I said, people come into your lives and give you
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: the lessons that you need to learn because getting myself
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: in shape in Baltimore, the things that Paul taught me
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: there and the, like this thought of like, it doesn't
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: matter where I am today. I know where I can get,
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: because by the end of the, not even a year
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: with Paul, I was already going faster times than I
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: was going when I was at Florida state. So I
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: was already faster. I was, I was at that point
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: ranked in the world. And I was like, if I
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: can do this in 10 months, like who, I can
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: I can do this like this is something that I
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: knew the blueprint then for what to do. It wasn't
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: this idea of like pushing yourself to the limit. It
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: was like Paul would be like, I think you're done
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: for today. And I would think I still had more
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: to left to go. And he'd be like, no, you're done.
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: And then there was some drills that he had me
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: doing that would like shock my system to put me
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: in like glycogen deficit so that I could just cut
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: body fat only and retain muscle. And like he had
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: so much science behind it. And he got me in
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: shape so fast that when I would go back to swimming,
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: because that's a repetitive thing in my life is I've
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: stepped away. I've come back. I've stepped away. That's first
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: step back in with Paul. in 2008 showed me that
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: it didn't matter if it was a short amount of
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: time I would be able to do great things and
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: that's how I ended up only training for 13 weeks
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: and winning NCAAs after I had my first daughter like
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: it's how I came back to para swimming I just
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: I knew that I would be able to do it
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: if I just stayed dedicated and followed the things that
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: I had learned from Paul in 2008. So that really
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: was super, super important to go from like being super
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: out of shape to then obviously being ranked in the world.
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: And it's a powerful thing.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: Like you said, it's like once you, there are certain
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: experiences we have in life where it's like, oh, I've
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: learned this about my capacity or my ability to overcome
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: or to, you know, I might not look like I'm
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: going to be able to get there at this moment,
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: but I trust that I will be able to and
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: my body knows that it can. And that's like something
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: that never goes away. And it sounds like that's something
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: that you have over and over again learned pulled out
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: of the hat to lead to your success.
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like I said, as I'm writing my memoir,
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: it's where we keep going through these reoccurring themes. And
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: I joke, it's like the Taylor Swift song. I think
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: I've seen this film before. And it's like, You already
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: know how it can go either good or bad. And
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: so you take the lessons learned from there of like
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: when you've made a mistake and then it happens again
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: in your life to go, oh, wait, no, no, no.
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to let this happen. And I think
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: that for me, my life has changed. been cyclical in
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: so many ways that like, I've been able to really go,
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: this is the exact same lesson. Whereas other people, you know,
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: have to discern applying lessons. I've been super fortunate that
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: I get the same lesson just handed to me over
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: and over again.
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean, I think a lot of us do.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: And so much of life is like paying attention and
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: Because sometimes you get handed the lesson and you keep
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: not learning what you're meant to learn.
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: And it doesn't lead to success.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: It leads to a kind of repeated failure or a
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: kind of downward spiral.
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: And you've gone up and up and up.
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: I want to, you know, you have had this really, like,
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: as I said, when we first started, you have had
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: many lives. And I want to kind of fast forward
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: a bit to your career as a para swimmer. I
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: know along the way, we will talk about this more
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: in a little bit, but like you're also a mother.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: As you said, you had your first child when you
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: were really still a collegiate athlete.
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: Is that right?
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: So I had my oldest when I was 23. I
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: had left college and unfortunately, it was a very awful marriage.
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: And when I left my marriage, I moved in with
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: my sister. And my sister was competing for Rowan University
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: on the swim team. And so it was just an
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: opportunity to swim with my sister again. And it was
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: awesome because I had moved away from her when I
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: was only 15. And so we missed a lot of
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: a lot of our like growing up together. And so
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: it was this opportunity to swim with her. And we
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: got to be on relays together and we had school
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: records together. But I swam for, like I said, 13 weeks.
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: It was just like, hey, you're going through a divorce.
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: Why don't you come move in with us and swim?
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: And so I swam spring semester and... It was great.
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: It was fun.
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: It was what I needed.
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: But at the same time, you still have your eye
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: on the prize, right? You still want to be an Olympian.
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: Are you still or is that that gets set aside
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: by motherhood and specifically single motherhood?
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: In that time, that was not on my wavelength at all.
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: It was swimming wasn't even on. Like I said, it
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: was it was them saying to me, hey, my sister's
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: coach being like, hey, I could get you in school.
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: I can get you accepted. Do you want to come?
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: And it was like, okay, well, there's this thing that
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: I can do.
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: It's swim fast.
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: And like, this is a chance for me to give
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: some stability to my daughter because she was so young
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: and I wanted her to be around my sister and
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: family and all of that stuff and make the transition easier.
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: I mean, she was so used to it being just
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: the two of us during the days always. So it
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: wasn't that big of a change for her. But it
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: was this opportunity to go back to school and, you know,
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: get a new degree and try to better my life
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: in that sense. So like for a lot of swimmers
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: in particular, the pull is to get your college education.
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: You know, now there's so much with the NIL deal
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: where kids can actually make money. But back then it
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: was just this is a way to get a degree
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: and it's an opportunity. And so let's take it. And
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: so I saw it there. But I at that point
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: in my life, I had given up on that dream.
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: I had it was not something that was thinking to me.
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: And it was actually something. Unfortunately, it was said to
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: me at that point, like our family, you know, sacrificed
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: so much. And what? Look at you. You didn't even
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: make the Olympics. And, you know, that was. there was
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: this evil that was just there always hovering over my career.
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: And at that point, I just wanted to be a mom.
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: My sole focus was her. And I didn't see at
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: that point that there was a possibility of doing both.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: I was single. There was no support systems really in
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: place for it. When I was swimming, there were instances
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: where I was being made to feel bad about it
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: there was sabotage going on it was just it was
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: not a healthy situation in that structure to be able
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: to still think about that um but it just my
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: focus was being a mom and even now right now
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: I swim before my kids wake up like who I
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: am as a swimmer like yes they'll pop on videos
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: with me They come to meets occasionally. They love to
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: do commercials and that stuff when we get the opportunities.
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: But my swimming box closes before my children wake up.
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: And it's the way that I figured out that it's possible.
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: And that's how we do it. So like my focus
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: is always going to be on my children and being
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: their mom. And swimming just gives me opportunities to give
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: them the life that they deserve. And that's how I've
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: really viewed it now. Yes, it's my dreams, but I
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: do it for them. I do it so that they can,
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: you know, see the world, have cool experiences, pay the
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: light bill, you know, things like that.
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: All that stuff.
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: But yeah, now you have three kids, but how did
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: you find your way back then?
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: You know, you're back there. You're like, okay, the dream
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: didn't come true.
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: My family is being mean to me about it, or
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: maybe not your whole family, but at least some members
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: of your family. And now I have to essentially focus
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: on something else. But here you are talking to me
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: as quite a champion swimmer, a para swimmer.
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: How did you find your way to.
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: So once I married my now ex-husband there, he didn't
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: like me being out in the world. Like he didn't
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: like me working. He wanted me to be home with
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: the kids, taking care of the kids. But I knew
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: I needed something. And so I was like, hey, like
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: he was he was a gym guy. guy so he
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: understood me wanting to work out so I would be
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: like oh I want to go swim again I think
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: I want to swim again I think this is what
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: I want to do is a way for me to
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: be able to get out of my house um and
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: it was it that was really I had figured it
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: out in 2016 that I still did want it because
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: there was those years where I just didn't and in
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: 2016 is when things started to like go pretty south.
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: It was the first year of our marriage, but it started,
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: that's when the cracks started to show in what was happening.
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: Because you don't know coercive control when you're first getting
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: into it. It's something that builds. But we were watching
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: the Olympics and my son, he took his first steps
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: during the Olympics. We were watching track and field and
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: he started walking towards the TV. And it was very,
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: very early because he's born in September. So this was
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: he was like nine and a half months. He was
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: born premature. He was born at 34 weeks prematurely. So
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: for him to hit a milestone like that so far ahead,
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: I was just like, oh, that's so awesome. And just
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: those Olympics, watching it with my kids, I was like, okay,
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: maybe I do want to still do this. And then
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: as things got worse in the marriage, that was my
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: way to say like, oh, I'm going to go swim.
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: I'm going to try to make the Tokyo Olympics. And
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: I was training for the Tokyo Olympics when I had
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: my injury. So when I had my brain injury in 2018,
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: I was already training. I would, I didn't tell anybody.
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: It wasn't this like, you know, wasn't announcing it on
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: social media.
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: I was just.
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: Quietly training every day, getting ready for your dream for yourself.
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: Cause you have to be in the testing pool for
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: two years. Like you have to be available to be
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: in the testing pool. So I like quietly, you know,
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: got my USA swimming registration redone. And like, I was
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: preparing to make that re-entrance in January of 2019. And
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: December of 2018 is when everything really got started.
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: You had a brain injury. You were hit in the
• 31:25
  Speaker 3: head by a big chunk of ice, I understand.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: Tell us what happened. What did that lead to?
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: So we, um, my oldest daughter, that was her first
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: year that she was going to do race skiing. And
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: so we lived about 40 minutes from the mountain where
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: we lived in Jersey city. And so I had taken
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: the kids out of school to get our season passes
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: done on the first, the opening day. So like I
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: picked them up early from school as a Friday and
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: we went to the mountain and we got our passes process.
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: They got their pictures taken. And we just didn't want it.
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: We wanted to beat the crowds. And so there was
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: still time. So we went outside and there was snow.
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: I say that very loosely. And we were having a
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: little like snowball fight. It was very sweet, cute. And
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: my son, he had just turned three. He didn't know
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: any better. He is on the autism spectrum. He's also
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: he has ADHD. So he has low tone in his wrist.
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: So his ability to pack a snowball at three, it
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: was not happening. And so here is his sister and
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: I packing snowballs, throwing them at each other. He took
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: his enormous strength that he has because he's a super,
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: super strong kid. And he picked up. this boulder of ice.
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: And when I say boulder, it was like this big
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: and he picked it up and he just dropped it
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: on my head. And I was like, ow, that really hurt. Like, dude,
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: you can't do that. But I didn't, I wasn't unconscious,
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: nothing like that. I didn't think it was serious. And
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: then we started to drive home. I was like, okay,
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: we're going to head home. So we started to drive
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: home before the sun went down and I'm driving down
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: the mountain and And all of a sudden my right
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: eye starts twitching. And I later found out that like
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: all of your nerves are cross body. So like everything
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: in the right controls the left, except for your eyes.
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: So the fact that it was my right eye that
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: was twitching makes sense. My right eye started to twitch
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, that was really weird. And
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: I remember like thinking about it. And then like my
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: left arm was just getting heavier. And I just felt
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: this like, pull again that pull of like you have
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: to go here and I just needed to get home
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: and so my focus was solely on getting home and
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: so I got home and um I called my ex-husband
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: husband at the time and I was like hey we're
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: coming here but something's wrong and so we get out
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: of the car and I went to unload the um
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: ski stuff from the back of the car and I
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: pulled it out of my Tahoe trunk And I had
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: it in my right arm. And then I went to
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: put it in my left arm and the bag just
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: dropped to the floor. I had no strength whatsoever in
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: my left arm. And I was like, this is really weird.
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: And so I knew that I needed to go to
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: the hospital. My husband at the time was never somebody
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: who would go to the hospital with me. I was
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: always driving myself to the hospital or if you know,
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: there was some other medical stuff that had happened, like,
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: and I would have to take myself. And so that
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: was just a normal thing, but I knew I couldn't drive.
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: So I called up one of my friends and I
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: was like, Hey, can you drive me to the hospital?
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: She came and she picked me up. And she said
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: that driving there, I was talking. And then all of
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: a sudden I stopped and she just looked at me
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: and I couldn't. And I remember trying to get words
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: out and I couldn't, and it was very weird. I
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: didn't know what was happening. And I just walked into
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: the hospital and I was like, something's wrong with my
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: left side. I don't know. I, I, uh, something's wrong.
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: And I didn't tell them that I had gotten hit
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: in the head. That wasn't what I had said to them.
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: I was just like, something's wrong. And cause I didn't
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: think it was that bad. I didn't think that the,
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: the impact was that bad, but obviously I didn't know
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: that there was a blood tumor in my brain and
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: he hit me right where the blood tumor was and
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: my brain was bleeding. And I had no idea. So like,
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: When your brain's.
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: Bleeding, obviously you're... And to be clear, it was a
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: blood tumor that had been there from the previous car accident.
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: It had been growing, they believe, since the car accident. Yes.
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: And it's actually, it's what killed the runner Flojo. So
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: she had the same malformation in her brain. Hers ruptured
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: in her sleep and she died. And so it was
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: this ticking time bomb that we didn't know about. And...
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: So my, bless my son's heart, you know, he'll, he'll
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: tell people, he's like, yeah, I hit her in the head.
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, but you saved my life. You know,
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: we always look at the positive of the thing. Like, yes,
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: it caused me to have a brain injury, but if
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: I didn't, like, it was still there. It was still growing.
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: We look back on like the videos from me swimming
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: at NCAAs in 2012, you know, And I'm walking up
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: to the block and you could see my left foot
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: has foot drop. I'm dropping my arm on the left side.
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: Like there was already neurological showings, but I was a
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: clumsy person. So like me falling all the time and
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: running into things and not feeling things and having pain
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: in that side I just I always attributed it to
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: something else. Also, there was this element of growing up
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: an athlete like suck it up. If it's not killing you,
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: then keep going. And that was like how I was raised.
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: So we just kept pushing forward. So I'm blessed that
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: we found it. But it ended up being a situation where.
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: you know, it needed to be removed. My quality of
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: life wasn't going to be the best. I was super
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: fortunate that my good friend from college at Florida State
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: is one of the greatest neurosurgeons in the country. And
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: I was able to call him and he was at
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: Harvard Mass General at the time. And I was like, hey, Myron, like,
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: this is what they're telling me. And he was like,
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: you need to get into brain surgery. This is what
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: we're going to do. He walked me through exactly how
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: brain surgery works, the mapping of the brain, the cutting
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: open of the skull. Like he just, he gave it
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: to me all. So when I finally got into my
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: surgeon's office at NYU and they were like, well, we
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: think surgery would be an option. I was like, cool. When?
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: And they were like, What? Because they're looking at me.
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: I'm by myself in this appointment. And they're like, this
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: girl's agreeing to brain surgery, like after five minutes, like
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: you don't need to think about it. I was like, no,
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: it's a problem. We remove it. And that's it. It's
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: that thing. Like there's a problem.
• 38:01
  Speaker 3: We solve it. Correct me if I'm wrong.
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: So you had this surgery and got that tumor removed.
• 38:06
  Speaker 3: Thank goodness. But then you were.
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: Left with physical disabilities caused by this surgery or by
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: the injury to begin with. Then that's what led you
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: to be classified as a para-athlete. Is that correct? It's
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: not the brain injury itself. It's the physical impairments that resulted.
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: So for me, my brain injury, when they removed that
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: part of my brain, it left me with what's called hemiparesis.
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: So the left side of my body is not as
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: strong as the right. So I have a lot of
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: muscle atrophy. on my left side because those neurotransmitters just
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: don't work anymore. Those pathways don't send signal to like
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: make those muscles work properly. And then also I have
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: what's called dystonia, which is when your muscles go into spasm. Um,
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: it's very common. You see with people with Parkinson's where they're,
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: they get stuck in a position of posturing, um, And
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: then now we've actually learned that because of the posturing
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: that I have in my arm, I now have permanent
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: nerve damage. And so like my left hand, like I
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: continue to lose, I continue to lose more and more
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: function in my left hand as I lose nerves permanently.
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: because the nerve is being stopped by my posturing. So yeah,
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: the brain injury was the catalyst for it. And then
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: the brain is how the brain is. And it does
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: crazy things.
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: It controls everything else. We forget that sometimes. So let's
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: get to your career as a para swimmer. You obviously
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: were left with physical impairments after this brain surgery. How
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: did you decide to enter into the para world and
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: enter into competition? Were you familiar with swimming? the Paralympics
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: and parasports and paraswimming before this injury?
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: So I was vaguely familiar. Obviously, I knew about Pastores, Oscar,
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: being the blade runner and wanting to run in the Olympics.
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: And so I knew of the Paralympics on that side,
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: but even now, the Paralympics is not something that's extremely
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: visible to many, especially here in the United States. I mean,
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: it doesn't get the same coverage that the Olympics gets, unfortunately.
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: As Paralympians, we don't get the same opportunities as Olympians.
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: I mean, I know that I joke about, oh, swimming
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: pays for the electric bill. But in all reality, it's like,
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: we make maybe $ 1, 600 a month as swimmers. There's no
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: real like money in it unless you're fortunate enough to
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: have connections, to have sponsors and all of that stuff.
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: And that just has not been the case for me.
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: So it's, it's the peril world is not very well known.
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: The equity is not there. And so, right. I didn't know.
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: So you knew about it in like that general sense,
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: like the big stars had entered your consciousness, but you
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: weren't yet thinking of yourself as one.
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: I knew that if you could, if you used a
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: wheelchair at all times and right after my injury, I
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: was not using a wheelchair. I was pushing a stroller
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: like it was a rollator. I was, you know, I
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: was using a cane. I wasn't at that point using
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: a wheelchair. Things hadn't progressed. I mean, I would get
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: told like, you should be using a wheelchair. And I
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: would be like, F that, you know, like, that was
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: not anything I ever wanted in my in my world.
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: And even now, like I have family members that like,
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: if they see me in a wheelchair, they're like, oh,
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: she's doing it for attention. And I'm like, I'm doing
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: it so that I could get through the day with
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: my kids. You know, like nobody criticizes people for wearing
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: glasses when their vision starts going at an older age,
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: you know? So like it's, I just didn't know that
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: I was eligible. There wasn't that visibility of people who
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: are ambulatory wheelchair users. Like that wasn't, something that was
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: evident invisible disability. Yeah. And I, you can't measure my
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: disability with a measuring stick and like it. And so it's,
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: it's a more subjective thing and that's been a whole
• 42:57
  Speaker 2: other situation, but I just didn't know that I was eligible.
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: And I mean, my neurosurgeon who.
• 43:05
  Speaker 3: Was, how did you figure that out? How did you
• 43:07
  Speaker 3: figure that out?
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: So I figured it out because I saw another Paralympian
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: on TV during the Olympics, during the Tokyo Olympics. And
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: she was standing there wearing shorts. And I was like,
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: she's not in a wheelchair. What's wrong with her? So
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: I looked her up. And I was like, oh, okay.
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: And then that made me look up what makes you
• 43:31
  Speaker 2: eligible for the Paralympics. And so I immediately messaged my neurosurgeon.
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: And like I said, he was the chief of neurosurgery
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: at NYU, the number one neurosurgery hospital in the country.
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: And he wasn't aware that I was eligible for the Paralympics.
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: He knew I had been trying to swim and I
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: wanted to go back and try to make the Olympics
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: after brain surgery. But that wasn't within his scope of medicine.
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: And I was like, hey, does this do I have this?
• 43:57
  Speaker 2: Cause it sounds like I do. And he was like, yeah.
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: And so then that, at that point it was like, oh, okay.
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: I'm eligible. Now, what do we do to like get involved?
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: And that became an even bigger thing because there it's
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: not like, there's not this set like pathway into Paralympic sports.
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: Like parents have to like figure it out themselves. And
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: I've worked with a lot of parents now that like,
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: they have never heard of para sports and their kids are,
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: you know, bilateral club feet. Their kids have, you know,
• 44:34
  Speaker 2: severe cerebral palsy. And they just, they're not told because
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: it's not part of scope of medicine to tell kids
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: about sports.
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: It sounds like even you, I mean, you're talking about kids,
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: but for yourself as an adult and a really honestly,
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: an elite swimmer in this world already, um, it was
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: a revelation for you that you could be in it.
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: So you did reenter and pretty much from the beginning
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: started having pretty big successes. Your first time in competition-
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: I believe it was like in the 2023 World Championship
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: that you, you know, went right in there and took
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: the gold for the backstroke.
• 45:17
  Speaker 3: Is that, is that, am I, am I framing that right?
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's obviously wasn't your first time in the pool,
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: but your first time officially as a para swimmer in
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: a big competition like that.
• 45:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So it, it's, I had to not think about
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: myself as the swimmer that I was because the times
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: that that I was swimming and like breaking American records,
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: winning world championships. They were times that I went when
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: I was a middle schooler. And so I was sitting
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: here like, oh, you're the fastest there ever was. Like
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: I have the world record in the 50 meter backstroke
• 45:59
  Speaker 2: for the S9 classification. And it's a time that I
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: went when I was 14. And so there's this like,
• 46:09
  Speaker 2: you have to just put away who you ever were.
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: And thankfully I didn't swim a lot of long distance
• 46:16
  Speaker 2: or a lot of long course. Cause there's different, there's
• 46:20
  Speaker 2: different lengths. There's a short course pool and a long
• 46:21
  Speaker 2: course pool. So I know a lot of my short
• 46:24
  Speaker 2: course times from when I was growing up. Cause that's
• 46:27
  Speaker 2: the American system. But yeah, like I, even now, like
• 46:35
  Speaker 2: I look at the times, like what I won, like,
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: the Paralympics in my favorite event, the 100 butterfly. In
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: 2024 in Paris.
• 46:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I think maybe I went 105, maybe. That's the
• 46:55
  Speaker 4: time that I went when I was, you know, 14,
• 46:57
  Speaker 4: 15 years old.
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: And so it's a Paralympic record. It's an America's record.
• 47:03
  Speaker 3: It's an American record.
• 47:04
  Speaker 2: But it's not a Christie record. And I think that
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: that has been the part about it that's been so
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: hard is because people don't really give validity to who
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: I was as a swimmer before. And I'm like, you
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: guys don't understand. Like I used to do this easily
• 47:23
  Speaker 2: when I was a kid and it's not for lack of,
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: cause I'm in better shape as an adult. Cause I
• 47:29
  Speaker 2: have to be, um, than arguably I was when I
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: was a younger kid and had distractions. Um, Different distractions, obviously.
• 47:39
  Speaker 2: But yeah, it was a very hard thing to mentally
• 47:48
  Speaker 2: grapple with.
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: In spite of, obviously, the many, many ups and downs
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: and challenges you faced and the in and out of
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: the sport, you did finally find yourself in that place
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: where your longtime dream came true at the 2024 Paris Olympics.
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: Paralympics and you didn't just make the team. You won
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: five medals.
• 48:11
  Speaker 3: How did that feel?
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: And tell me about that, essentially that fruition, the fruition
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: of that.
• 48:17
  Speaker 3: Dream, how that landed on you.
• 48:19
  Speaker 2: It was this, like, it was the happiest. I like,
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: I see pictures and I look happy and I know
• 48:24
  Speaker 2: that I was happy and I was excited that my
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: kids were getting to, you know, their mom just won
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: and their mom was doing all these great things. Um,
• 48:34
  Speaker 2: But I couldn't celebrate it because I had another task
• 48:38
  Speaker 2: that needed to happen next. There was always another thing
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: next happening. So it was great for that brief moment.
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: But I think that a lot of Olympians and Paralympians
• 48:50
  Speaker 2: they chase that high and then it is a moment
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: and it's gone. And then they don't know how to
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: like rebound from that. But for me, I had so
• 49:00
  Speaker 2: much other stuff that I needed to just keep doing
• 49:03
  Speaker 2: and keep moving forward that I don't, it's maybe a
• 49:07
  Speaker 2: blessing that I don't remember it because then I can't
• 49:10
  Speaker 2: be sad about like not feeling it anymore. But I
• 49:15
  Speaker 2: know that I felt very, very proud that my kids
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: got to see it happen and that they were there
• 49:23
  Speaker 2: and that they were going to be proud of me
• 49:26
  Speaker 2: and that it was something that they were going to
• 49:27
  Speaker 2: get to like, because I know I used to be
• 49:30
  Speaker 2: so proud of my dad. I used to go and
• 49:32
  Speaker 2: sneak down and look at his trophies when I was
• 49:35
  Speaker 2: a kid and I was just in awe of what
• 49:38
  Speaker 2: he had done. So I, I hope that I could
• 49:40
  Speaker 2: be that for them.
• 49:50
  Speaker 3: Well, that brings me to this letter.
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: That I have that I'd love if you could help
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: me answer it.
• 49:57
  Speaker 3: Can I read it to you? Yes, ma'am.
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: Dear Sugar, My husband and I went through a lot
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: to become parents, miscarriages, IVF, and the financial debt that
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: came with it. And finally, our beautiful daughter was born.
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: She's now seven and we love her more than words
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: can express. I want to say that before I tell
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: you why I'm writing to you. It seems like I'm
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: breaking a taboo to even write these words that are
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: weighing so heavily on my heart and mind.
• 50:24
  Speaker 3: Sometimes I find it very difficult to be a mom.
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: My daughter has always been what is referred to as
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: high needs, colicky as a baby and temperamentally sensitive all along.
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: A few months ago, she was diagnosed with high functioning autism.
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: Because my husband works a job that requires more than
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: full-time hours and regular travel, most of the parenting falls
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: to me alone. My daughter is affectionate, fun, and smart,
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: but she's also extremely defiant and difficult.
• 50:50
  Speaker 3: A lot of the time.
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: And I often find myself stressed, angry, and overwhelmed. I'm
• 50:55
  Speaker 1: crying as I write this because I feel like a
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: bad mom to be complaining about my beloved child, who
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: truly is the light of my life. But on the
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: other hand, it feels good to cry and to get
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: these words out of my head. I love my family,
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: but some days I feel like my idea of what
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: my family would be doesn't match the reality I'm living.
• 51:14
  Speaker 3: And I'm sad about that. Is it awful of me
• 51:17
  Speaker 3: to be sad for that reason, sugar? It feels awful.
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: How do I accept my life for what it is
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: and be grateful for all the things in it? How
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: do I stop feeling overwhelmed, angry, and stressed? I want
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: to be the best mom to my daughter that I
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: can be. I want to be a strong advocate for her.
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: I know this will take a shift in my mindset,
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: but I need some words of advice or support to
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: help me make that shift.
• 51:40
  Speaker 3: Thank you. Signed, Overwhelmed Mom. So, wow. I bet, I mean,
• 51:46
  Speaker 3: I know I as a.
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: Mom can relate to this letter and I don't have
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: a high needs child. I mean, I think that I
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: want to say first, Christy, and Christy, I am really
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: looking forward to hearing what you have to say about it.
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: I'm going to guess you have some things to say,
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: but I want to say first to overwhelmed mom, you know,
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: that like, there's absolutely no shame, no shame in being
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: angry and overwhelmed and stressed and the situation you're in.
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: I think that is a pretty universal experience among mothers
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: that this is an incredibly difficult thing to do to
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: raise children. And it becomes way more difficult when your
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: child is high needs as yours is. And so no shame,
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: we're here with you and we're gonna give you advice
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: with only love and support in our hearts.
• 52:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so like first, if I didn't have a high
• 52:39
  Speaker 2: functioning child special needs child myself, I would also just
• 52:45
  Speaker 2: look at it from motherhood is different than what I
• 52:49
  Speaker 2: expected it to be. And it's okay to mourn the
• 52:56
  Speaker 2: loss of what you thought your life was going to be. Like,
• 52:59
  Speaker 2: that's something that I think is necessary. You need to
• 53:04
  Speaker 2: mourn it. And I think the first step of being
• 53:06
  Speaker 2: open and vulnerable and putting those words out there and
• 53:10
  Speaker 2: saying the things that you feel like you shouldn't say,
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: because you're not going to be appreciative, that doesn't negate
• 53:15
  Speaker 2: what you're living in the lived experience you're having. You're
• 53:19
  Speaker 2: not living how you thought you were going to be
• 53:21
  Speaker 2: living as a mom. And you should mourn that you
• 53:24
  Speaker 2: should mourn it. And you should let it actually pass
• 53:28
  Speaker 2: because you have to grieve that in order to move on.
• 53:31
  Speaker 2: And then when you move forward, understand that like, none
• 53:36
  Speaker 2: of us have a playbook. None of us were given,
• 53:39
  Speaker 2: you know, the instruction manual to a kid and other,
• 53:44
  Speaker 2: some moms look like they've got it, you know, really
• 53:47
  Speaker 2: easy and they've got it all figured out, but nobody
• 53:51
  Speaker 2: knows what everybody else is going. All moms are frustrated
• 53:54
  Speaker 2: at times. I think it's a.
• 53:55
  Speaker 3: Universal, like we get frustrated at our kids.
• 53:58
  Speaker 2: And I think that the added thing with having a
• 54:03
  Speaker 2: special needs child is is this guilt that comes with
• 54:08
  Speaker 2: it because you're getting angry and frustrated and you think
• 54:14
  Speaker 2: that it's not okay because there are special needs and
• 54:17
  Speaker 2: that that's supposed to absolve you from having feelings of it.
• 54:20
  Speaker 2: And that's just not the case.
• 54:22
  Speaker 3: You're not a bad.
• 54:23
  Speaker 2: Person for getting frustrated by a child who's being defiant.
• 54:28
  Speaker 2: That's a hard thing.
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: I want to chime in and say all those feelings
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: that overwhelm mom is having, they are the feelings that
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: moms have, right? I remember looking around, my kids are
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: college age now, but looking around and being like, everyone
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: else is doing better at this than me. And And,
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: you know, I think that there is this, we have
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: this picture, like a lot of us, you know, that, that,
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: you know, this is what it's going to look like.
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: And then you arrive and you're like, wow, this is
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: so much harder or more complicated than I thought it
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: would be.
• 54:58
  Speaker 3: And so I just overwhelmed mom.
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: I hope you can really hear Christie's words of just
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: normalizing these feelings and mourning what what you thought it
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: would be and learning how to adapt and accept what is,
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: which I think, Christy, you've really spoken to today and
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: like thinking about like the different adaptations you've made over
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: the course. of your swimming career is it's about at core,
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: I think, right? Acceptance, like saying, okay, I had this
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: dream or I had this vision or I had this expectation.
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: And then what happened was different. And I'm going to,
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: you know, repeatedly show up again and give it my best.
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: And I just want to say, overwhelm mom, your best
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: is not perfect.
• 55:39
  Speaker 3: It's not perfection. It's not ever having negative feelings.
• 55:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And it's, the other thing is that Don't, don't
• 55:49
  Speaker 2: judge yourself off of how somebody else is doing because you're,
• 55:53
  Speaker 2: you've got a whole different set of cards in your
• 55:55
  Speaker 2: hand and you're playing to that strength. And for me
• 56:00
  Speaker 2: as a mom, even if I didn't have a child with,
• 56:04
  Speaker 2: you know, extra needs, I'm a mom who has extra needs.
• 56:07
  Speaker 2: And me as a mother showing up is very different
• 56:11
  Speaker 2: than many other moms because You know, when my son
• 56:13
  Speaker 2: is at football, I'm not on the field. I need
• 56:16
  Speaker 2: to stay back on the path because my wheelchair can't
• 56:20
  Speaker 2: get up and I need to stay in the shade
• 56:22
  Speaker 2: so that I don't overheat because I have different needs.
• 56:25
  Speaker 2: When I'm at the playground, we go to specific playgrounds
• 56:28
  Speaker 2: that work for me to be able to be the mom.
• 56:30
  Speaker 2: But I don't always get to be the mom that
• 56:34
  Speaker 2: I want to be. I don't get to be the
• 56:36
  Speaker 2: mom that I was to my older child with my
• 56:39
  Speaker 2: youngest child. She gets a very different lived experience and
• 56:42
  Speaker 2: we need to not judge. Overwhelmed mom, do not judge
• 56:47
  Speaker 2: yourself based on other moms and how they're doing it
• 56:50
  Speaker 2: because you've got a whole separate set of cards that
• 56:52
  Speaker 2: you're playing with and you're going to do just fine.
• 56:55
  Speaker 3: I love that, too.
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: And I to me, Christy, I think that's about remembering
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: to put ourselves in the equation. And I think that,
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: you know, the history of like being a mom is
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: all about sacrifice.
• 57:06
  Speaker 3: Right. And an overwhelmed mom. I think more than.
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: Anything, what I encourage you to do is say, like,
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: you know, your needs matter, too. And so you are
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: overwhelmed and angry and stressed.
• 57:18
  Speaker 3: And so you need some support.
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: And you reached out to me, you wrote us this
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: letter and that's great. But like reach out to other
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: parents who have special needs kids, reach out, talk to
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: your husband. You know, you mentioned this super full-time job
• 57:33
  Speaker 1: he has and it's not working. Like it's not working
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: for you not to have the parenting support you need.
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: And maybe it can come from your husband if he
• 57:42
  Speaker 1: can adjust his schedule. But maybe there are other sources too.
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: Maybe there are other people you can ask for help
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: or hire for help. And it's okay to say like,
• 57:52
  Speaker 1: this isn't working. I matter here and I will be
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: worn out if we continue this way. And so that
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: is really, really important. You know, being a good mom
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: is not just about sacrifice. It's also about like raising
• 58:05
  Speaker 1: your hand and saying, this is what I need to
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: be the best mom that I can be.
• 58:11
  Speaker 3: And so we wish you luck. Christy, I think.
• 58:14
  Speaker 1: I think we've all had to do that at some point, right?
• 58:16
  Speaker 1: You know, all of us who are parents have had
• 58:18
  Speaker 1: to say like, okay, this isn't working. Let's, let's, let's
• 58:22
  Speaker 1: adapt and change. And, um, that asking for help, it always,
• 58:27
  Speaker 1: you know, things always turn for the better. Yeah, that's right.
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. So
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: we wish you luck over well, mom. So Christy, thank
• 58:38
  Speaker 1: you for helping me answer that letter. And I'd love
• 58:41
  Speaker 1: to hear as we end our conversation, what is next
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: for you as a swimmer? Are you looking ahead to
• 58:48
  Speaker 1: the next Paralympics or what's happening in your career and
• 58:52
  Speaker 1: in your world? What's that next mountain you have to
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: climb or swim over?
• 58:58
  Speaker 2: Yes, so we are... just as of this past week,
• 59:01
  Speaker 2: two years out from the Los Angeles 2028 Paralympic Games.
• 59:07
  Speaker 2: And I am definitely still looking forward to that.
• 59:11
  Speaker 3: I'm excited.
• 59:12
  Speaker 2: I was in the pool this morning swimming away. I
• 59:18
  Speaker 2: also was at track and field nationals last month where
• 59:24
  Speaker 2: I got second place in the shot put. So Perhaps
• 59:28
  Speaker 2: we'll be doing two sports in Los Angeles, swimming as
• 59:31
  Speaker 2: well as track and field. We'll have to see. Very excited. Yeah,
• 59:36
  Speaker 2: very excited to be doing it in front of a
• 59:38
  Speaker 2: home crowd and having more of my family and friends
• 59:41
  Speaker 2: there this time. First, though, I do have some, unfortunately,
• 59:47
  Speaker 2: I have some medical stuff. That's going on. And I
• 59:52
  Speaker 2: am going to be talking publicly about it. So I
• 59:55
  Speaker 2: don't mind talking about it here. Unfortunately, we've talked about
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 2: my body likes to, you know, just make these extra cells.
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 2: And I was at an appointment with my oncology PA
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 2: for my breasts because we have some spots that we
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 2: have to watch. And we unfortunately found something new. And
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 2: so I have an appointment scheduled with the surgeon so
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 2: that we can go down the route of getting a
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 2: double mastectomy. But we're in a situation where we've got
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 2: to do it now because we do need to be
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 2: recovered because L.A. is still important. So if there's other
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 2: things that we have to do because of the findings,
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 2: we'll do that. But we're being very optimistic and we're
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 2: taking it just one step at a time. But Yeah,
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 2: there's the long term of what we want in life,
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 2: but I've also gotten to the point where I don't
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 2: hold those in cement because I have no idea what's
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 2: going to happen. So yes, I would love to be
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 2: in LA, but what's most important for me is to
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 2: still be here to be a mom in 2028. So
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 2: that's the ultimate goal is to still be around for them.
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 2: So we're going to do everything in our power to
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 2: make that happen.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 3: Wonderful. That's, I mean, That's the truth. One step at
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 3: a time.
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 1: And Christy, I will be thinking of you as you
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 1: walk through these health difficulties and set your eyes on
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 1: LA 2028. I wish you all the best of luck
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 1: and I've loved talking to you.
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much. It's been an absolute pleasure.
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 3: Thanks for listening.
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 1: If you'd like to write me a letter seeking advice,
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 1: email it to me at deardearsugar at gmail.com. And don't
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 1: forget to rate, review, and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 1: Happy trails, and I'll see you next week. Mind Over
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 1: Mountain with Cheryl Strayed is an iHeart Women's Sports production
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 1: produced by Brittany Brown and Rodney Brown of Barbara Jean Productions.
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 1: Supervising producer is Kaylin West at Realm. Associate producer, Amaya Brathwaite.
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: Our executive producers are Molly Barton, Jerry Carita, Grace Fuse,
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 1: and Jessie Katz. Our theme song is composed by Gramascope Music.
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe wherever you get
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 1: your podcasts.
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 3: Happy trails. And I'll see you next week.