Latest / Grounded Growth / Fruit that Lasts: Love That Looks Like Jesus
Transcript
- Stephanie Petry: Hi, welcome to. Nicole Ghirardi: Hi, welcome to Grounded Growth Podcast. I'm Nicole Girardi. And I'm Stephanie Petrie. We believe that grounded growth comes from being intentional about compassionate connections that are beautifully balanced while flourishing in faithfulness. Each week we will share real conversations, encouragement, and simple systems to help build a life that feels steady, aligned, and grounded. So sit back, maybe grab a coffee, and join us where clarity meets calm and growth feels intentional. Stephanie Petry: And I'm Stephanie Petrie. We believe that grounded growth comes from being intentional about compassionate connections that are beautifully balanced while flourishing in faithfulness. Each week we will share real conversations, encouragement, and simple systems to help build a life that feels steady, aligned, and grounded. So sit back, maybe grab a coffee, and join us where clarity meets calm and growth feels intentional. Before we dive in, if you want to make sure you never miss a conversation, hit that subscribe or follow button. Nicole Ghirardi: Before we dive in, if you want to make sure you never miss a conversation, hit that subscribe or follow button right now on whatever app you're listening on. Stephanie Petry: right now on whatever app you're listening on. Grounded Growth: Hi, welcome to the Grounded Growth Podcast. I'm Stephanie Petrie. And I'm Nicole Girardi. Today we are starting a new series called Fruit That Lasts. And this is the first episode of that series. Over the next nine episodes, we're slowing down to study the fruit of the spirit. And it's not a checklist of behaviors, but as the evidence of a life abiding in Christ. before we talk about love, our first fruit of the spirit, we have to remember where fruit comes from. And this is in Galatians 5, 22 through 23. It reminds us: but the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law. Notice it says, fruit of the spirit, not fruit of our effort. these aren't personality traits that we manufacture or manifest. These are the Holy Spirit's work in our life of someone who belongs to Jesus. So it's in the Holy Spirit's strength. it is not in our own. Today we began the first fruit of love because every other fruit grows out of it. Culture often reminds us or defines love as a feeling. Scripture defines love as the very character of God. And if we're going to grow fruit that lasts, we first have to understand what biblical love actually is. Because if we define love the way the world does, we'll spend our whole lives chasing feelings instead of becoming more like Christ. So love is not simply just being nice. Okay. So what is love that looks like Jesus actually mean? Biblical love is choosing another person's good, even when it costs few. Jesus says in John 15, 8 through 17, that abiding in him produces fruit. And then he immediately commands us to love one another as he has loved us. The closer we stay connected to Jesus, the more his love naturally overflows into our relationships. one of my favorite descriptions comes from the Jesus Storybook Bible. If you haven't heard of this, it is by Sally Lloyd Jones. and it is the storybook Bible we started with, with our son. and I love it because it's it is covenantial, meaning like it shows Jesus from Old Testament fulfilling through the New Testament. So it even shows where Jesus is in the Old Testament. and she describes God's love, As never stopping, never giving up, unbreaking, always and forever love. And that is God's love for us. And it is that kind of love that we receive, and it is that kind of love that we are called to reflect. And I did not grow up with a clear picture of what really love looked like. most of what I knew came from the movies, the fairy tales, where love was a feeling that swept in and fixed everything. but when I actually started reading the gospels, I saw a completely different kind of love. Jesus did not love people just because they had it all together. He loved them right in the middle of their mess. I think about Peter, who denied even knowing Jesus three times on the worst night of his life. And after the resurrection, Jesus did not shame him. And he made him breakfast on the beach, gently giving gave gently gave him his calling back in John chapter 21. And that is the kind of love that changes a person. so for me, love that looks like Jesus means choosing someone's good, even when they cannot give me anything back, because that is exactly how he has loved me. You brought up a really great point of how the movies and culture just really. try and make love fix things for us. And when we put that kind of pressure on someone in our life, our spouse or a friend or even family, we are always going to fall, it's gonna fall short. The only person that can give us that kind of love is Jesus. Love that looks like Jesus. It sounds beautiful, but if we're honest, most of us know how difficult that kind of love is. So why is loving like Jesus something we all struggle with? sometimes I fail at this before I even get out the door. Impatience is my first reaction, not love, especially with the people closest to me. I've acknowledged this. it helps me to remember that even Paul wrestled with this in Romans seven. He admits that the good he wants to do, he does not do. And the very thing he hates is what he keeps doing. So if Paul struggled, I feel a little less alone in this and know there are so many other brothers and sisters out there that are struggling with the same thing. love is hard because it asks me to set myself aside. and the way that Jesus talked about denying ourselves and everything in me resists that. So loving someone well usually means laying down what I want so that I can actually put them first. And when I'm running on empty, I have nothing left to give. And I think that is usually my sign that I have been trying to love in my own strength instead of staying close to the one who is loved. We naturally drift toward loving people when it's easy or when they love us well in return. That seems a lot simpler, but sin curves our hearts inward. we indistinctively protect ourselves instead of sacrificially servicing others. a lot of times if it does if something or someone does not serve us. We are in that cancel culture. and that is not the way that Christian living is calling us to be. instead, we need to be turning our hearts to them in prayer. and oftentimes practicing that self-control of not saying the things that we're wanting to say sometimes. and sometimes this speaks hard truth because it genuinely desires another person's good. and even when you don't feel like it. That's the hard part. but I will tell you that the more you practice that and the more that you are realizing that you yourself are a sinner, it it really helps you to start creating this habit of seeking the Lord first before your emotions. we simply cannot love perfectly because we are broken sinners. that's why Jesus came. He his perfect fulfilled, he perfectly fulfilled the law. including loving God and loving others for us. Randy Pope is an author. he wrote a book called The Answer. If you are newer or questioning Christianity, great book to start with. and so he just beautifully explains: religion says do. The gospel says done. So a lot of times when you see those Christian headliners, you're you're hearing them or Bible thumpers, right? These are not the kinds of people that I would identify with. but that is religion. And religious people often are legalistic. They often are adding to the gospel. So if you don't do X, Y, Z, then you are no longer saved. that is not what the Bible has told us. It tells us that Jesus fulfilled. All things and everything is completely done and finished and accomplished through his death and resurrection, and he saved us from our sins. We don't earn God's love through performance and doing things and earning things. Once we've been declared righteous by grace, Christ's love compels us to love others. We love because He first loved us. And that is why we are able to even love our enemies, is because we have received. The full love of Christ. And when we try to love apart from Christ, the cracks start to show, not just in our relationships with others, but in our own hearts as well. So what does it look like when our love falls short? Instead of listening, I jump to fixing. that's a hard one for me. instead of assuming the best, we assume motives of why they did what they did. Why are they saying or not saying? instead of serving. We start keeping score. and these are all three that I really struggle with and still pray for. And even though I have been saved by Christ, I am still tempted to think of my prideful ways. I'm still tempted to want to fix things. And I'm reminded by my pastor of I'm not the Christ. And then that is so true. but I am to point to him. we become impatient, easily offended. And quick to defend ourselves. Those should be the red flags of something's not aligning here. and it's not to say that people aren't going to test your patience. It's true. but how are you responding to it? first Corinthians 13, one through eight becomes a mirror for our hearts. Love is patient, love is kind, it isn't self-seeking or easily angered. See, when I first read this passage, or you hear it read at on movies and such at weddings, and we even had it had it read at our wedding. you assume it's about the marriage and the love that you have for each other, but the whole passage is all about God's love for us, his love. Jesus is patient, Jesus is kind, Jesus is not self-seeking or easily angered. Because here's the deal: I am not patient. I am not always kind. I am very self-seeking and I do become easily angered. when I read that passage I quickly realize how much that we we need Jesus. Christina Fox, another author who I've referenced before in the book Closer Than a Sister, she writes that Every act of Christian love points back to Christ. When we fail to love well, we aren't just hurting relationships. We're missing opportunities to reflect Him. And I was just talking with my aunt about this and how when we catch ourselves, so again, this becomes it becomes more of an instinct because when you start doing it wrong, the Holy Spirit is convicting your heart of maybe you shouldn't have said that. And and hopefully that's happening. And you're able to repent, you're able to. Ask for forgiveness. That's the piece that we were talking about is, you know, it it is hard enough to identify when you are seeking self and not seeking to love the other person well. maybe it was a misunderstanding or an assumption you made. so it's one thing to recognize that it's a whole nother ball game for you to go and seek reconciliation with that person and just apologize for not understanding or talking too much or whatever it was. And For me, when love falls short, it it a lot of time looks like snapping at the kids over something small, and then acting like everything is fine. Instead of stopping and apologizing, and just saying you're sorry. it looks like going quiet when someone instead of telling them what is actually bothering me, I am horrible about this, you can ask Stephanie. and then wondering why the distance keeps growing between you and that and that other person. Think of Martha in Luke 10 on this. She was so busy serving that she became irritated with her sister Mary and even with Jesus. And her heart was not bad. It's she was just doing good things in a frustrated spirit. And so I do that more than I want to admit. And I just have to start recognizing that a lot quicker to catch myself for that. What steadies me is that God is never caught off guard by my failures. Faith Chang writes in Peace Over Perfection, which is a phenomenal book. So thank you for buying it for me. Absolutely. that he never had illusions about our goodness to begin with. So he is not up in heaven disappointed. He already knew exactly who he was calling. That frees me to love honestly one imperfect day at a time. I'm a Martha too. Yeah. I'm sure that surprises you. So So surprising, you know. thankfully the story doesn't end with our failures. Praise Jesus. scripture doesn't just show us what love is, it shows us that a savior who lived it perfectly. First John 4:19 tells us we love because he first loved us. It's hard for me not to sing that because we just finished our vacation bible school theater show and it it had that song. That was a theme. everything begins. Right there where we love because he first loved us. And so what does Jesus show us about this love? the clearest picture of this love for me is the woman caught in adultery in John 8. the religious leaders dragged her out in front of everyone, stones already in their hands, ready to make her an example. Jesus did not join the crowd. He knelt down and rode in the dust and then said that whoever was without sin could throw the first stone. One by one they walked away. So then he turned to her, a woman braced with condemnation and told her he did not condemn her either. He said, Go and sin. Go, he said, and sin no more. He gave her grace and way and a way forward in the same breath. That is the love I want to give people, not ignoring what is wrong, but refusing to define somebody by their worst moment. And that the way Jesus refused to define her by hers. That's so good. I'm so glad you brought that story in. And Jesus loved first. That's the important piece here. He loved us sacrificially. he loved us consistently. And he loved people while they were still sinners. And I know that's past tense, but it's still true today. Jesus loves us first. He loves us sacrificially, he loves us consistently, and he loves us while we are still sinners. And he's actually up there in heaven at the right seat of God, and he is praying on our behalf to the God the Father so that we can be with him for eternity. Psalm 136 repeats over and over for his steadfast love endures forever. Steadfastness is one of probably my favorite words because it doesn't explain me, but it explains Christ. and that it endures forever, our eternity, from creation, from his provision, from his rescue to his daily care. God's covenant, love, never changes. It's not like us. We've been talking about how we fail at love a lot. and even just some some people in the Bible that Failed to love. And his love is constant and it never changes. Jesus' love wasn't based on whether people deserved it. It flowed from who he is. And he loved us before the foundations of the earth, before the earth was even formed. God chose us to be his people. And he bore our sin. Jesus bore our sin and endured the cross and pursued us before we ever pursued him. Because in order for us to come to faith, the Holy Spirit regenerates our hearts, changes our hearts, and God, the giver of grace, gives it to us as a free gift. And so we are able to realize that Christ bore our sin, He took on our sin, and we got his righteousness, his perfect life. And that is what reconciled us to God the Father. And it changes everything. We don't love to earn God's approval. We love because we've already received it. It is you know, you're you're called a new creation after you come to faith and you are practicing, you know, reading his word and prayer and worshiping and corporate worship and local church and having Christian fellowship, it changes your life. It changes your priorities, it changes your perspective, it changes your pursuit. Like it just changes so much about who you are, but yet it doesn't, because we're still that broken sinner. You're still tempted by the same types of things, but now the motive has shifted. It's it's it's the same but different. And if you know, you know. and and I know to some people it it makes us sound crazy, but that's okay because it's for the it's for the glory of God and it's for the sake of Christ. That I have been saved and have this joy inside of me. And it is important for us believers to be able to have words for our faith and reason for why we are different. We are called to be different in a good way. So make sure you have an answer for that when someone asks you, How in the world can you have joy in this? your answer is Jesus. And that's exactly why Paul reminds us in Galatians five. verses 22 and 23 that love is the first fruit of the spirit. The more we abide in Christ, the more his spirit produces his kind of love in us, not manufactured by effort, but cultivated through relationship. So we grow in this every day. So we're gonna start with Jesus before you start with people. You cannot pour out a love that you've never slowed down to receive. And I need a daily dose of it in the mornings especially. Learn to speak truth through relationships. before difficult conversations, you need to have already established a relationship. I'm a big one on this. I don't like pointing fingers and telling people that you're sinners. I don't like to point out like where you're falling short. That's not my role. My role is to love you. And so, you know, I value our friendship. I love you. I'm here for you. Can I share something I noticed? those are ways to gently start that harder conversation. You lead with relationship before correction. and you you honor what they say. Sometimes they're not wanting you to give your advice or perspective. Sometimes they're just wanting to be heard. focus on the heart instead of simply the problem. a lot of times when I am helping a woman through a crisis. you know, I hear the problem, I acknowledge I'm there for her with empathy and sympathy and being able to pray with her in the problem. But then we have to pull back those layers to see what the root of it, what is the heart of this issue? and how are you how are you really doing? What is it that you feel you need in order for this situation to get better? do you feel seen and heard? but also like accountability questions are important too. you know, just making sure, well, how did you respond when he said? or, you know, what is it? Have you have you acknowledged of how that hurt you? Or is it just in your head? So being able to kind of tease out some of that to get to the heart of the issue is important too. I'm not trying to fix it, I'm just trying to give another perspective. and then listen before speaking. clarifying questions is key. So tell me more. Explain to me. Describe to me. These are great sentence stems to get you going and that are gonna get them critically thinking about their situation rather than you giving advice and trying to fix it. listen without interrupting and validate before offering advice. and I have a friend that's great at this of seeing Christ in others. So she's always saying, like, gosh, I can see how much patience you've had in this and you have grown so much and being able to. not react. but I wonder if, and then she'll, you know, give me some advice and edify. love with humility. Thank people for trusting you and pray with them right then in that moment. Be willing to admit when you've overstepped or try to fix anything and instead of just simply loving them. I've had to do all this. And so this is coming from experience and and you've been a person of this. I think it's all the benefits to this. And sometimes not, because I have had to apologize to Nicole for overstepping or saying what my brain wants to say rather than what my heart knows to say. and remember what love is really doing. Randy Pope says our performance isn't what earns God's love. God's grace produces love, and love becomes the motivation for our faithful obedience. Our works don't determine our faith. They demonstrate it. Well said. I could just wrap that up and say, yeah, ditto to her. But I do have a few things. they more just kind of solidify everything that you said. So lean on Jesus before you love anyone else. you cannot pour out a love you have not first received from him. start your day in the present. So I mean, we've been saying this every podcast, I feel like. Wake up every morning, don't grab your phone, grab the Bible, grab the, you know, the roots journal, whatever the case may be. So then that way then you're starting your day with with the love that Jesus is giving to us. look at the person right in front of you. love is not humanity in theory, it is the actual people in your home and and every day. So put the phone down, make eye contact, and let them feel seen. I know we get so wrapped up with everything going on. I'm horrible about it that my phone is attached to me because I feel like I need to be checking my emails and my friends are text messaging me and I'm trying to figure out what football schedule is for tomorrow. And sometimes you just need to turn, do not disturb on your phone automatically, and just spend the time that you need and to love the family that's right in front of you. listen before you fix it. It's definitely Stephanie already said this. Ask the questions, you know, everything and truly wait for the answer instead of jumping to the solution. We are both problem solvers and we want to fix the problem because we that's who we are and that's how we thrive. And we have to stop because, like she said, sometimes when I tell Steph something, I don't want her to fix the problem. I just want her to feel what I'm feeling right now and just being there in the moment with me. And Stephanie has been really working really well with a crisis plan for our church. And it's really brought into the facts of asking in a conversation, like, what are you seeking for this? What do you need from me in this conversation? And I never thought of asking that. I just immediately want to be, well, you need to do this and you need to do that. And it's really that that's not true because our feelings are so different in the heated of a moment. I'm not gonna want Stephanie to tell me what to do. I want Stephanie to understand why I'm upset with my husband, you know, or upset with my kids. Then maybe tomorrow or the next day, then we can talk about the solution after I've heated myself down. and then lead with humility. Be the first to forgive, the first to apologize, and the first to serve. People remember how you made them feel long before whatever you said. So I feel that that's a big one because I feel like a lot of us say we have to do works. We have to do good works. We that's what we have to do. That's not that's not how we're supposed to be showing people the things. But we have to remember that our feelings is what really drives us to the people that we are. And if you don't have that feeling, and I felt that Stephanie really I always joke, she I always say she's really pushy. She's not a pushy person. If I thought she was a pushy person, I would have never had the relationship that we had. But what she makes me feel about myself and being able to pull that out of me is why we have. Such a close relationship, and you need to find the community of people that do that for you. Thanks. You're welcome. growing in love isn't about trying harder. it's honestly about staying closer to Jesus because the more we experience his love. The more naturally that love begins to flow and really overflow into every relationship that he's entrusted to us. So we're going to close this up. We are. If you take nothing else from today, take this. Loving like Jesus does not start with getting it right. It starts with staying close to him and showing up again, even after yesterday's mass or an hour ago's mess. His love reaches you exactly where you are today, the same way it reached the woman at the well and the every ordinary person Jesus stop for. You do not need the perfect words or the perfect plan, no matter how much we want that to happen. But just pick one person and one small thing this moment this week and ask the Holy Spirit to love through you and let that be a knock. And on the days you feel that you fall short, remember you don't have to start over by trying harder. You just have to come back to Jesus. His love never stops, never gives up, and never runs out. So good. And maybe this week, instead of if you tend to ask yourself, did people love me well today? Or you're comparing some things, instead ask, how did I reflect Christ's love today? And sometimes that's gonna bring up some not so great feelings. And so again, go to the Lord in prayer about that. And you know, I often ask, help me to see the opportunities you have before me and act on them. remember that real love isn't measured by emotion, it is measured by faithfulness and every small act of patience and Every quiet forgiveness and every encouraging word, every humble apology, every prayer, all of that becomes another opportunity to reflect the one who first loved us. And notice I said quiet forgiveness, because we are called to forgive others, even if they haven't asked for forgiveness. The beautiful news of the gospel is that when we fail, and we will, we don't start over by trying harder. Like Nicole said, we return to Jesus, whose love never stops. as we continue this fruit that lasts series, my prayer is that we become women whose homes, friendships, marriages, parenting, workplaces, and churches are marked by the love of Christ. Not because we're naturally loving, but because we've been deeply loved by Jesus. So next week, we are gonna talk about a joy that doesn't depend on circumstances, because biblical joy isn't pretending life is easy. It's learning how to remain rooted in Christ, even when life feels anything but. I'm going to do a quick little plug because we just released our next Roots Morning Journal. It is on Amazon and our website. and so you can go to groundagrowth.org to find both of our roots morning journals. We have our rooted, which is identifying your foundation in Christ, and also our walking and trust. So We hope you check those out on our website and we will see you next week about joy. Bye friends. Hi! Nicole Ghirardi: Thank you for joining us for another episode of Grounded Growth. We hope today brought you clarity, encouragement, and a gentle reminder that you're not walking this journey alone. If this episode spoke to you, we'd love for you to share it, subscribe, and leave a review. We'll see you next week. Until then, Stephanie Petry: Thank you for joining us for another episode of Grounded Growth. We hope today brought you clarity, encouragement, and a gentle reminder that you're not walking this journey alone. If this episode spoke to you, we'd love for you to share it, subscribe, and leave a review. We'll see you next week. Until then, stay grounded and keep growing. Nicole Ghirardi: stay grounded and keep growing.