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Balancing Leadership, Business, and Well-Being · Business for Humans

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Welcome to Business for Humans. I'm Jamie Gennaro, business coach and consultant,
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and today I'm diving deep into a topic all entrepreneurs and business leaders face,
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making decisions that align with your personal and professional goals.
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If you've ever felt overwhelmed by balancing growth, leadership,
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and well-being, this episode is for you.
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We're going to explore how you can prioritize your needs and wants without compromising
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your integrity or burning out. Enjoy.
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Hello, hello. So we are continuing the theme of focus for this month.
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And one of the things that happens when we want to stay focused on something
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is that we have to make a decision, right?
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We have to decide what we're focusing on.
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And I've been reading a lot about decision-making, decision-making for leaders.
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I've been reading a lot of Adam Grant, clear thinking, clear decisions.
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And what I'm finding when I'm researching these concepts of making decisions
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as leaders is I'm not finding something that is connective.
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There are a lot of examples of quadrants you can build or graphs you can create
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that help you through the decision-making process.
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And a lot of it is deciding what's urgent, what's not urgent,
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what's high impact, what's low impact, what's high results, what's low results.
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But what happens sometimes is that we don't know the answer to those things.
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That's why we're in a spin of deciding what's the next best step for us in our
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business or sometimes in our personal lives when we're trying to make really
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big, weighted decisions.
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You can't decipher what's most urgent or what's least urgent when you're in
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that space of trying to make a decision because you're getting hit by all the
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priorities that feel like they're equally weighted priorities.
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So I've been kind of trying to figure out what feels more connective to me of
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the way I make decisions because it's not all about productivity or finance
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or high impact, low impact, right?
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Sometimes it's high impact or low impact on me, right?
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What's it going to take for me to get to that place.
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If I decide to go that way, if that's the decision I make and I decide to go
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in that direction, what's the impact on me?
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It's not just the impact on the business or the impact on finances or the impact
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on a team, but also for me, what's my personal impact?
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And I think we don't look at that part enough when we're measuring how we make
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decisions for our business because we're so focused on productivity and revenue
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and urgency and all of those pieces,
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which are very disconnected from the human element.
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And so I've been trying to figure out what are the factors in the decision.
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And I landed on something that I don't know is the perfect answer,
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but it's getting me to an interesting place.
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So I wanted to share it with you. So you have a decision to make where you're
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You're trying to set priorities or you're trying to figure out what is the next
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place where you should focus your attention.
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So here's the quadrant I built. So I drew a big T and in the top left, I put want.
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In the bottom left, I put need.
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Top right, I put don't need. And bottom right, I put don't want.
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You can decide what those four quadrants are, but I think it's really interesting
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to put the opposition to whatever it is that you're trying to measure or understand
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in the opposite quadrant.
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If we use this more traditional idea of urgent, not urgent. High revenue, low revenue.
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I think it's interesting just to have this juxtaposition of opposing ideas so
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that you can see what's the opposite of that.
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So as I was working through this want, want, need, don't need,
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don't want, what I realized, and it may happen to you if you go through this
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exercise, is that of course the want category is the biggest, right?
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Like I have a lot of desires, which is great. That means that you're ambitious, you're pushing, right?
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You're looking for things to kind of enrich your life or business.
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So the want category is the easiest to fill in.
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And then I started looking at the need. It was hard for me to figure out because
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then we start unwinding like, well, do I really need this thing?
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Is it something I want? Is it something I need? What's the weight of this thing? What does need mean?
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But I think that thought process is so important.
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I think it's really important to, especially in your business,
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especially if you're a small business owner, to know the difference between want and need.
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Because need is where there's no negotiation, right?
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So if you're setting a rate, let's say you're in a services business and you're
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setting an hourly rate for yourself or for your team.
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If you do the math on what your overhead costs are,
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what your business needs to survive and what that baseline number is,
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what that breakeven number is, it's so easy to negotiate because you know there's
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no way I can go below that number. That's your need.
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It's really important to know what that number is.
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But then there's the number that we want. And that number is very important.
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This is why in decision-making, I don't want to de-emphasize our wants or desires
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because I think there's this very interesting space between meeting our needs
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and reaching for our desires.
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I think that's the journey that I find really interesting. But the journey I
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mostly help people on is the meeting their needs journey.
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So when people and small business owners or people that are really working on
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finding confidence in negotiation or finding confidence in sales,
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they haven't met that need number yet.
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And this happens a lot for female business owners. We're more in the zero to need category.
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We give a lot of work away. It's there for various reasons.
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I'm not going to try to unravel that because there are layers and layers of
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socialization and psychological reasons we might be giving away work.
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But that's where I help people. I feel like the most is just in that zero to
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meeting your needs category.
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Fill in the needs and spend a lot of time there because there are things that
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you need that you're not giving yourself, that you're are not making time for.
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So what's on my needs list? So I have my baseline, what's my break-even number,
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right, that I need, let's say on a monthly basis. So that's in there.
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And then I started thinking like, what is something that I really truly need
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to survive just in general?
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And you know, the thing that I talk about a lot, but that shows up on that list is exercise, right?
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Exercise Exercise is not a luxury when you get to my age, right?
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So I'm going to be 50 in 2025.
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Like it's creeping up. So I'm officially middle-aged and exercise is not a luxury anymore.
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Exercise is the thing that's going to keep me from having really severe health
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issues going forward, like osteoporosis and bone mass loss and issues with hormone regulation.
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Exercise is not a luxury.
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It's a need. My body needs to move.
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And it's strange how, again, it's like the zero to need.
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There's the I don't exercise at all to what's the amount of exercise that my body needs to move.
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That's where we have the most work to do, right? So interesting.
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I need to exercise, but I have to fill that gap from zero to the baseline before
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I can say, I want this from my exercise.
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I want this kind of body or this kind of optimized version of myself.
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We have to get from that zero to need category.
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Are we meeting those baseline needs? Spend time there.
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What do do you need? And don't think of it as like, it's a luxury.
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That might mean time off or time to rest.
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What is the amount of rest that you need? And I'm not talking about sleep, although that is a need.
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Like we all need to sleep and we all need to sleep a certain amount of time per night.
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That could make it to the list, but also what's the amount of time you need
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to rest and to recover and to
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heal and that's not a want there's the
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need level of that there's the want level also like
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I want to retire and not have to work
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but I don't think that's actually true so I wouldn't actually put
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that on my list I love I love my job I want to do it forever but now you can
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start to see the difference between need and want and I think it's really important
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because most of the work that we are here to do on this journey together is
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from zero to need and not from need to want we need to keep the wants alive.
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Because at some point, once we meet that baseline, which is my mission,
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that we're meeting that baseline need in our work and in our personal lives.
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Then we get to reach for the wants and we're going to be that much closer.
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That gap between need and want is so much smaller than the gap from zero to baseline.
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That's a really big gap. I'm not doing anything to I'm meeting my baseline.
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That's a pretty big gap. And just in discipline and the hurdles that are there.
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But once you're meeting your baseline, to elevate or optimize on that baseline
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is a really small amount of time, work, effort. This is why I kind of love this quadrant.
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And then you get to the don't need. And this one is really hard.
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Your brain's going to go into a lot of different spaces. Like,
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is it about material items?
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Is it about emotional things? Like, what don't I need? This is a thing I really don't need.
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And I think it's really important to spend some time here too.
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This was the hardest quadrant for me to really understand, but I basically boiled
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it down to just one thing.
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What is something I don't need? What I came up with that I find really interesting
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that my brain went into this place is constant worry about what's next.
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Like this is something I just do not need. I don't need to hold on to this.
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It's constant. I do feel like I'm in a constant spin of like,
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what's next? What's what's next, what's next, what's next. And it's not serving me.
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And it's something I don't need. And my brain just immediately,
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that was the only thing on the list.
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And if I spent a little bit more time here, I think I would come up with more things.
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But I feel like in my life, in terms of material items or luxuries or things,
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I don't think I have a lot on that list to pare back on. If I say,
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oh, I don't need like a fancy car. I mean, I don't even need a car.
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I live in the Netherlands. Like a car is not even on the list.
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I already live a life that's pretty simple and pared down.
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I don't carry a lot of extra weight in terms of material items or things.
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I don't feel like I'm carrying around a lot of things that I don't need.
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Need that's just been a practice of mine really
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through my whole adult life of just paring back paring
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back paring back I just don't want to carry around
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a lot of things I don't need let it flow do not judge it but there's still a
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very significant difference between what you don't need and what you don't want
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so if we're thinking about work I might want a lavish high-powered title in a.
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Beautiful, big corporate brand. I don't even know if that's a thing.
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Maybe that's something I want. But what I need is just.
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Money in the door. It doesn't matter where it comes from.
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And I think it's the same with don't need and don't want.
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There's the don't need, like there are certain things I literally do not need to survive.
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And then there's the what don't I want. For me, when I think about work and
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when I think about work environments, what I don't want is a work environment
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that doesn't feel open, that doesn't feel collaborative.
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I've been in that environment. I do not want that ever again.
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To be in an environment that doesn't feel inclusive or open or collaborative
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or flowy or all the things that a work environment can be.
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I just do not want to be in an environment that doesn't feel open.
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It's really important for me to know that. That was the first thing on the list.
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If I get pulled because of money that I want from my want category,
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And there's a brand or a corporation that I want in my want category.
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But either of those things equals my don't want category.
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What's the exchange? I was very clear about I don't want an environment that
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doesn't feel spacious or open or collaborative.
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We don't always know that. But if we do know it, if we do know that this environment
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is in our don't want category, then our decision is made.
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What happens in that in-between space of, but I want the money,
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but I don't want the toxic work environment, it's in that space where,
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what are we compromising now? Now we're making a compromise.
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And that's where we go back to our need category. Are you meeting your basic needs? Yes.
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Can you meet your basic needs and not be in that toxic work environment? Yes.
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In the in-between space of getting what I want and knowing this isn't what I want, right?
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That's where people have burnout and breakdowns. This is where we use the term golden handcuffs.
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So a lot of people are in work positions where it meets all their wants.
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All their fancy desires are being met in the want category, but they're also
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filling up the don't want category.
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And then they're stuck in the middle going, I want that. But it's not a need.
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Making $300,000 a year, I don't know what that number would be.
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That's a golden handcuffs number, but let's say it's $300,000.
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You don't actually need $300,000. No matter how much you've convinced yourself
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that you need it, you don't. That's a want.
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This is why I'm just really loving these quadrants because it really helps you
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calibrate your decision-making into to what's your most important baseline need
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compared to what's your baseline of your don't wants, basically.
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Like, what are the things that you really don't want? And why don't you want them?
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Because you know the pain and the suffering and the things that will come from
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those things that you just don't want in your life.
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And then it helps us really understand like this is a want versus a need versus
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a like, I don't need this versus I don't want this.
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So for me, it's this toxic work environment. I can further break that down for
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myself. What does that mean?
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And also, as we all know, and the work that I do is always thinking like,
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don't blame the work environment. Maybe it's not the work environment. Maybe it's you.
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But because I'm not in a work environment right now, if I was invited into a
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work environment, environment that decision-making process for me would be,
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is it a want or a need to join this organization?
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And is it the kind of environment that I want or need?
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And I would say I need a work environment that's open and collaborative.
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I need that to thrive. I need that to do a good job.
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I need that to stay in a job that I'm not just going to jump from job to job.
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If I get invited again into an organization, I'm going to need to look at these
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quadrants of like, what do I want versus what do I need versus like,
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what's not going to be the right fit for me? And I know that to be true.
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And then in making the decision, I just have to lean into the belief that if
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I go for the things I know I need, will they come to me?
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Which is a whole nother layer. But let's go back into the, we talked about don't
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need, let's go back into the don't want category. mine was quite full,
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which is not surprising because my wants category was also quite full.
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So the other thing that was on my don't want category is that I don't want work
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that's not connected to something deeper or more impactful.
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One of the reasons I really love my job so much, and there are of course things
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in every job including mine that are hard,
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but one of the things that I love so much
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about my job is when I'm on a call with
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a client and we crack something open and
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the light bulb goes off for them and they see the path and they start moving
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towards that path and they're just having so much understanding about themselves
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and growth and success in moving towards those places and their confidence is growing.
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I'm in a conversation with them where I can see it happening.
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Feeling so connected and I don't want to use the word happy,
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but I think confidence is a big thing that I really focus on trying to grow in my clients.
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And when I'm seeing that confidence starting to blossom and it's putting them
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in different situations that they want, right? That they want to be in.
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It's just that is the best feeling.
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I just love that feeling. I'm helping someone find something that's really important
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to them, that's really meaningful to them.
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And when we're in these conversations where there's that flow,
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that connection to me is something I really need.
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I really need connection.
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So it's interesting how my don't want is so closely tied to what I need.
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I can't and I don't need work that doesn't feel connected to something more impactful.
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And again, I'm in a very privileged position, I mean, for many reasons,
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but I'm in the privileged position of having worked at a lot of jobs.
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And it's just the same as being in a lot of relationships until you get to that
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relationship that you feel like is the one because you're in it for all the
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right reasons and you know the relationships that are not healthy for you.
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I've been in a lot of jobs, so I know the jobs that are not healthy for me,
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that are not a good fit because of who I am and my personality and the way I work.
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There are some environments that are just not a good fit for me.
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They're actually really unhealthy and they push me in that direction of what I don't need.
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What is not going to serve me? What's going to spin me out?
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And the only reason I've landed in those positions or tried to make them work
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was because I was trying to prove something.
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I was trying to prove something to myself to say, this is really hard,
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but I can do it instead of going, this is really hard. Do I need to do it?
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Like, am I here for all the right reasons or am I here to fill some kind of
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gap or void or prove something to myself that I can do it?
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So what I know now from all of that work experience is that I do not need that anymore.
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I do not need to prove anything to myself or to others.
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I mean, in a way I am proving something something to myself by doing what I'm doing now.
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I want to prove to myself that I can do it. I've been doing it for four years
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and somehow I still haven't proven to myself that I can do it because it's still
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part of the conversation I have in my self-coaching sessions.
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Believing that I'm doing it, I am doing it. I'm making a living from this work.
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But that's another story. But it's really important to focus really honestly
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on what is it that I don't want and why is it that I don't want that, right?
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We don't want to get into that spin of convincing ourselves that, you know, what I want.
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Is okay and justified. And what I don't want is okay and justified, right? Just let it flow.
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It's okay. Like whatever's on that list, let it be.
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Don't judge it. Don't judge what I don't want as being a problem,
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right? Like, oh, I don't want a toxic work environment. Well, why not?
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Right? Like, why can't you just fix it then? Right? Like, let's not get into
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that. Like, I just don't think that kind of environment is going to serve me.
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And what I can tell you is that I have a couple
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like big decisions on my plate and I
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have been spinning trying to figure out these decisions
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and the and putting things in these quadrants has just made it really easy for
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me because I know now the decision I need to make because I've done this work
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and and now I'm circling around that middle point of like the what I want and what I don't want.
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I know really clearly what I don't want.
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And I know that some of these decisions are pushing me in the don't want category.
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And now I can be really honest with myself. I told myself I didn't want that.
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Why am I still going towards it?
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Why am I afraid to cut that off and believe into the fact that if I don't go
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in the direction of what I don't want, what I want will come. Let me say that again.
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If we're in that middle ground of this is what I want, but it's also what I
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don't want, what's keeping you from cutting it off and saying this,
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I know clearly this is what I don't want.
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And I want to believe that what I want will come in and fill its place, right?
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And then it's not going to be the combination of what I want,
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what I don't want. It's going to be just what I want and what I need.
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That's the fear. That's when the fear and the worry and the anxiety comes up.
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That's where the golden handcuffs conversation is really hard to have with people
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who are making a lot of money and they have a certain lifestyle,
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but they know it's not serving them.
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They know that in the background, it's sort of slowly killing them.
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But that fear that's in between those two things of believing that something
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will take its place, that fear is too big.
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It's too big to cut it off. It's too big to say that I'm going to not go after
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what I want because I know it's also what I don't want.
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They just can't reconcile that. And so they just stay in that want.
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And then this is, again, where burnout lives because you're just not living
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in your integrity. You're not living in your truth.
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You're having to push all that stuff down because there's so much of what you
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don't want in that world that you just have to ignore it and push it down.
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It will always come back. It will come back in lots of different ways. It will come back,
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And it will hit you in your health. It will hit you in your emotional health.
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It will hit your relationships. It will hit, you know, all these things.
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And it will creep in, right? Like you're going to push it down, but it will come back.
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So every decision is right. I do not want to judge people who are staying in
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that one category, even though there's so many things that they don't want,
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because everyone has a reason for making the decisions they're making.
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And all I want to encourage is that you love your reasons.
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That you love your reasons. You know what like I'm going to make a decision
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to do this thing even though there are some things that I don't want tied to that decision.
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But you know what like I'm deciding right now that that's okay.
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That I'm willing to make that compromise.
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I think what I'm trying to say out loud is that I don't want to make the compromise,
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but I'm not judging you if you are making the compromise.
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But I think I'm in a place with all my work experience, with all the time that
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I've put in to this hamster wheel, all that I have put in my time running that race,
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and I know that I don't want it anymore, very clearly.
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And it's a huge relief. It's helping me make a really big decision decision
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because I know that my integrity is not in it.
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Like my integrity would not be in it.
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I would be doing it for the wants.
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And I don't want to say that's the wrong reason, right? It's not like,
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oh, this is the right reason. That's the wrong reason.
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It's just, I would be making a lot of compromise to go in a direction because
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I know that there's a lot of things in the don't want and don't need category.
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If I go towards this particular decision that really meets everything thing
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in my want category, right?
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This is why I'm just, I'm like loving this decision-making process because I
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don't want to say it's easy.
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It's not like, okay, well, I know that this decision that fills all my wants
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will leave me out of my integrity.
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It still doesn't make the decision like 100% easy because I still want those
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things that I want, right? That part's not going away.
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But I have to get really honest with myself. Like, is this going to serve me?
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Because it basically checks everything on the don't want list.
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And if everything on the don't want list is what I need also,
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right? It's kind of equals what I need.
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If I make that decision, I know how it's going to feel. I know how I will feel
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because I'm checking all of the boxes of what I don't want.
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And I've been there and I know how painful that is.
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And the pain of where I am, right? Like there's always, we're treating one pain for another, right?
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So the pain, quote unquote, of where I am versus like what I think is going
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to be the relief of that pain going towards something, that's what I'm trying to judge, right?
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But if I, this is like getting really philosophical and potentially a little
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bit complicated, but if I spin where I'm at, right?
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So I'm reaching for something, but my needs aren't met right now.
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Okay. So my needs are met. I'm reaching for a want.
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That want is filled with things I don't want.
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So the honesty in that decision is, are my needs being met or are they not being met in the moment?
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Am I going for this want because it's a want or am I going for this want because it's actually a need.
27:17
This is what we need to really get clear about. Do I want a job that gives me
27:23
more money, but also is toxic and is going to make me feel bad?
27:29
Well, do I want that more money because I want it or because I need it?
27:34
And that's an important distinction, a very important distinction.
27:38
Because if you're compromising the things you don't want because you need the
27:42
money, that is now a completely different decision than I want the money.
27:50
And so if you need it, and what I said the baseline was, is the money just needs
27:54
to come through the door. It doesn't matter what the work is, right?
27:57
Like at a certain point to meet your needs from zero to baseline.
28:02
It doesn't matter. Sometimes you have to make really big sacrifices in that
28:06
space to get to your baseline. You have to be at your baseline.
28:09
And then you make decisions from your baseline. Is it a want or is it a need?
28:14
What are the sacrifices and the things I'm going to have to give up to get there?
28:19
But if it's a need, it doesn't matter. Those sacrifices, the I don't want and
28:24
I don't need, that is not important when we're going from zero to baseline.
28:29
We really just need to get from zero to baseline. What I don't want and what
28:33
I don't need, it's not part of the conversation.
28:36
I need exercise.
28:39
What I don't want is to sweat. And what I don't want is this.
28:43
And what I don't want, it doesn't matter. Those things are bullshit, dude.
28:48
It doesn't matter what you don't
28:50
want or don't need when it comes to the baseline. That's just whining.
28:54
But what's important about the don't want and don't need is when you're moving
28:58
into that want category.
29:00
I'm moving into this space. of like, I really want this thing.
29:03
What am I going to have to compromise to get it?
29:06
Right? And that's, that to me, that's also like a very interesting part of this journey.
29:12
Like, what if we didn't have to compromise?
29:15
What if it was a want and it filled all my needs and there was no don't need or don't want tied to it?
29:25
That's, that's the sweet spot. That's the sweet spot. But we got to get from zero to baseline.
29:32
And then we go into that, like, now what do I want?
29:35
And how do I believe I can get what I want without having to compromise and
29:39
take something that I don't want?
29:41
That's the fun, right? And if you work with me, you know, like,
29:44
that's the nut we're really ultimately trying to crack.
29:48
But we have to get to that baseline first, because otherwise there's just going
29:53
to be too much in there, right?
29:55
There's going to be too much that we have to navigate around if we're not at
30:00
the baseline. and then be really honest about where your baseline is.
30:04
And I'm just like, and I can tell you in the decisions I'm trying to make right
30:08
now, it's so clear, like the honesty of what that decision is in front of me is so clear now.
30:14
It's like, well, I can go that way. Sure. I can say yes to that.
30:19
The compromise is too big. It's too big. And it's just so clear.
30:24
And I can still say yes. And it doesn't mean it's wrong.
30:27
It's just that I have to be real about what's going to go along with it.
30:32
What am I going to have to navigate to say yes to that opportunity or decision?
30:40
And again, right or wrong, we all make the decisions for all the right reasons,
30:46
but we need to know, right?
30:48
We need to be really honest with ourselves what that decision,
30:51
What the impact of that decision is going to have.
30:54
And I think this has really helped me understand that pretty big distinction
31:00
between what I need and what I want and then what sacrifices would I have to
31:04
make to get what I want when I have what I need.
31:09
And I'm not making any sacrifices. I mean, of course, there are some. There are some.
31:14
But I think that need place, it's really important to know what that is.
31:20
And I think, again, just to pull it back to the very beginning,
31:24
if you're building a business,
31:27
or you're in a negotiation, or you're trying to have a conversation about money
31:32
in any way, shape, or form, you need to know what that baseline number is.
31:38
And in a business, that baseline number isn't just, I need to make a certain
31:43
amount per month to survive if I'm a small business owner.
31:46
It's, I need to know how much money my business is spending on a monthly basis.
31:51
Like, let's get real about what your overhead costs are.
31:54
Because you might accidentally start losing money, right? You might be in the red.
32:00
You might be going negative because you don't know what that baseline actually is.
32:06
So I did this exercise with a client the other day, and she's just a one-person
32:13
shop. She's a consultant.
32:16
And when we went through her overhead costs, they were $700 a month.
32:21
And we have to include everything in that list. So if you need to buy a new
32:26
computer, or you need to buy a new phone, you need to amortize that across the year.
32:31
And that's a reality. If you run a business in 2024, you're going to need a computer.
32:37
That's just a reality. So that overhead cost is true. And it's not every year.
32:41
So maybe you amortize it over three years. But it's a true cost.
32:45
And you don't want to get stuck not having considered that when you're selling services.
32:51
So that baseline number is just so critical for you to feel safe,
32:55
for you to really be honest about my needs are being filled.
33:01
I'm at my baseline and that might be enough.
33:04
I love the desire and I love the wants because that's where we get into goal setting.
33:10
But you need to know that baseline number. And I just encourage everybody,
33:14
especially if you're a small business, to know that baseline because a lot of
33:19
people go into scarcity for no reason. They start spinning into scarcity.
33:24
And it's a real waste of energy where that energy could be put somewhere else.
33:31
And then we get into that, you know, that's a whole different kind of coaching
33:35
level where it's like your baseline needs are being met.
33:38
Why are you spinning on worry and scarcity? Why?
33:42
Right? Like, what's the story there?
33:46
We also need to work on getting comfortable around that baseline.
33:50
Not that we only need to survive in the baseline, but it's really important
33:54
to just get comfortable there so that you're not making huge compromises all
33:57
the time around your integrity and your values and what your soul needs, right?
34:04
Like what your true, true, true soul needs are.
34:07
Those need to go on the list too. For me, it's connection.
34:10
I didn't realize how important that was until I made this list.
34:15
Like that feeling of connection with someone
34:18
in work and I'm not
34:21
saying it has to be just as an entrepreneur like I have that kind of connection
34:25
you know I've had it I should say when I've managed people right or when we've
34:31
been in flow as a team and we're solving problems like I felt that level of
34:35
connection I remember building a website with a team I don't know maybe like like eight years ago.
34:41
And we were all just kind of like holed up in a room trying to solve strategically
34:46
the problem that this website was going to serve.
34:50
And we were stuck in a room trying to solve a problem.
34:55
And we were making really interesting connections, right?
35:01
We were talking about things that we never would have talked about if we weren't
35:05
holed up in this room. We were solving kind of lots of problems, right?
35:08
Like not just the problem of this business, but like other things, right?
35:12
Other things were coming up and there was just a really beautiful connection
35:16
in that space of like a team trying to solve a problem and making some really
35:21
interesting connections in that space.
35:23
And it was fun. It was really fun and enriching. And I think that connection piece is a need now.
35:30
And I didn't realize it until I did this exercise. So if there's no sense of
35:34
connection or connectivity with people in a work opportunity, like I can't take it.
35:41
Right? If it's like a fully automated AI X, Y, Z, and there's no human connection
35:46
tied to it, like I'm not going to be able to do it.
35:49
It's not going to fit the need I have for connection.
35:53
And even this podcast, like we're not looking at each other,
35:56
but I'm like riffing off what I think is important to you, right?
36:01
And that's a whole other level of this,
36:05
but I am connecting to you,
36:08
right there's still a connection here that we're
36:10
making even though you're not
36:13
here right in front of me you are you know
36:16
what I mean like there's still a connection that's why
36:19
I'm doing this because I know there's a connection there's something here that's
36:24
resonating with you and that's why you're coming back and that's why I'm doing
36:27
this right I'm doing this because there's a connection here you're you're hearing
36:33
something from this that's resonating with you that's helping you make decisions.
36:39
That's why I'm doing it. I'm not doing it for my ego. I'm not doing it because I think I'm right.
36:44
I'm not doing it because I think I have all the answers. I'm doing it because
36:47
I think there's a connection here, right?
36:49
I think I'm connecting with you around topics that are important to you that might be helping you.
36:55
And if there's even that slight incremental amount of help that I can offer,
37:01
I'm going to keep doing it.
37:03
And I took a break, and some of you noticed. I'm hearing about it.
37:07
And I took a break and what I realized was I'm missing it. I'm missing this connection.
37:13
And sometimes you think you're doing something for the reason of like,
37:18
oh, is it growing my business? Is it getting me more clients?
37:21
Okay, if it's not, I need to stop. And what I realized is what I need is connection.
37:26
I think this is creating connection and that's enough.
37:31
So again, I'm going to say I'm really happy. I probably didn't invent this.
37:37
I just came upon it because I was trying to figure out a way to really break
37:42
down decisions that are less about urgency and priorities and impact and delegation
37:49
and all these things that we look at as leaders.
37:52
These are the metrics we're measuring by.
37:54
And for me, it's like, no, it's a little bit more personal than that.
37:57
And not that we want to pull all the personal stuff into work
38:00
but this business for me is very personal and
38:04
so when I'm making decisions life or business I
38:07
needed something that was a little bit more tied to my values and what's important
38:13
to me and that's how I make decisions in general a very like heart forward person
38:20
but I also want to make sure I'm making decisions that are are grounded.
38:25
And this is really helping me. It doesn't mean that I'm going to make every
38:29
decision and it's going to be easy, but at least I know what I want and I know
38:34
what I need and I know what I don't want and I know what I don't need.
38:38
And that's really helpful in me being honest with myself about what this decision is going to mean.
38:45
So again, on this theme of focus, I hope this helps you understand what should be the next focus.
38:52
What's your next priority?
38:55
What's the next thing you want to really be diving into?
38:58
And is it aligned within these quadrants? Does it make sense for you?
39:04
And sometimes what makes sense for you and what makes sense for the business
39:07
might be a little bit off too. So you could even do this exercise for the business.
39:11
I like to think of businesses is as, I hate the word avatar,
39:17
but as a living, breathing organism of its own with its own set of needs and
39:26
wants, you can do this exercise side by side.
39:31
If you're running a business or leading a business, you can also do it side by side.
39:36
It's important to know what's important to you versus what's important to the
39:39
company. This is what we do as managers.
39:41
We want to know what's important to our teams?
39:45
What's going to help them grow personally and professionally?
39:48
And how does that align to the business and the business needs,
39:51
right? That's like the exercise we do all the time.
39:53
So if you're a small business owner, you can do this side by side.
39:58
What does my business need? But what do I need?
40:00
And hopefully that will help you at least get to the place where you can be
40:03
really honest with yourself about what that decision is going to mean for you.
40:07
And then what actions you're going to take from that and what next things are
40:11
going to be your primary focus.
40:13
So I hope that's helpful. As always, you can always reach out to me,
40:18
leave a comment, leave a note, send me an email. All of those are options.
40:23
Love to hear from you, see how I can support you. But I'm going to leave it
40:28
at that. Talk to you next week.