Latest / Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler / Sex, Love & Goop with Gwyneth Paltrow

Transcript

Sex, Love & Goop with Gwyneth Paltrow · Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler

0:00
Speaker 1: Oh hello everybody. Oh it's Thursday or Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
0:05
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter what day it is that you're listening
0:07
Speaker 1: to this podcast, but it comes out every Thursday. And
0:09
Speaker 1: this is Dear Chelsea and I'm Chelsea hand Chop and
0:14
Speaker 1: this is my co host, Catherine law Hi. So much
0:19
Speaker 1: to report. Yes, oh god, I had the best fucking
0:22
Speaker 1: weekend ever. You've been on tour, like math, Oh my god,
0:25
Speaker 1: it's been the best. I went to Albany, which was awesome.
0:28
Speaker 1: I went to Boston. I love Boston. Oh my god.
0:31
Speaker 1: The theater was built in eighteen fifty four that I
0:34
Speaker 1: performed in in Boston, and it felt like it. I
0:38
Speaker 1: was sweating through my jumpsuit. I had to throw away
0:41
Speaker 1: my underwear after the show I threw I walked off
0:43
Speaker 1: stage at the Orpheum Theater in Boston. First of all,
0:46
Speaker 1: one of the best crowds ever. I've had so many
0:49
Speaker 1: great crowds on this tour. And I just love performing
0:52
Speaker 1: in Boston because I'm an East Coaster and I'm from
0:54
Speaker 1: the Vineyard, and I just, you know, all of those
0:56
Speaker 1: places feel like home to me. And I walked off
0:59
Speaker 1: stage and into what seemed like a prison shower at
1:03
Speaker 1: the Orpheum Theater just and I threw my underwear and
1:06
Speaker 1: my bra and the garbage. I just was like, these
1:08
Speaker 1: two have seen their this is it and uh. And
1:11
Speaker 1: then I did two shows of the Beacon, which were
1:14
Speaker 1: epic because the first show I had Sarah Cooper, who
1:18
Speaker 1: you know that great girls who did all those trumpet
1:22
Speaker 1: and then I had Amy Schumer and Sarah Silverman come
1:26
Speaker 1: in to do surprise sets, which was the crowd went nuts.
1:31
Speaker 1: And my crowds, I have to say everyone at my
1:33
Speaker 1: shows Saturday and Sunday at the Beacon, all the comics
1:36
Speaker 1: that performed were like, Chelsea, you have the best crowds.
1:40
Speaker 1: Amy said it, Sarah said it. I had Matteo Lane,
1:43
Speaker 1: who's this incredible comic. If you don't know him, please
1:46
Speaker 1: try and find him on Instagram Mateo Lane. He's so funny.
1:49
Speaker 1: Hopefully I'll have him when I announced more dates, I
1:52
Speaker 1: had rosebud Baker and then Sarah Cooper again Sunday night.
1:55
Speaker 1: My crowds are the best crowds and they were in
1:57
Speaker 1: the best mood and I'm my family was there. I
1:59
Speaker 1: had so many friends there and we just crushed it.
2:02
Speaker 1: It was just one of those great weekends. So we
2:05
Speaker 1: justin ounced more tour dates in Canada and the Pacific Northwest.
2:08
Speaker 1: We're coming to Seattle, We're coming to Eugene and Portland
2:12
Speaker 1: and Winnipeg and Vancouver and Toronto and all of those places.
2:17
Speaker 1: So please look at Chelsea Handler dot com for your tickets.
2:20
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna bring Joe Koy to my Florida dates,
2:25
Speaker 1: so we will have some Joe Koy Chelsea Handler duo
2:28
Speaker 1: action in Jacksonville Jacksonville, Florida, and we're going to Orlando, Miami,
2:34
Speaker 1: and St. Petersburg, So please look at my website by
2:37
Speaker 1: your tickets. This tour has been awesome. I'm crushing it
2:41
Speaker 1: and I usually don't say that about myself, but I'm
2:43
Speaker 1: gonna because I fucking ad and it's a message that
2:46
Speaker 1: everyone needs to hear right now. And my thirty day
2:49
Speaker 1: alcohol clans is, Oh, I'm a couple of days really,
2:56
Speaker 1: because I started a few days after you. You were
2:58
Speaker 1: like four days in or something. How have you felt
3:01
Speaker 1: on it? Okay, I'm not. It was easy for the
3:03
Speaker 1: first couple of weeks, and then once I got to
3:06
Speaker 1: New York City and I was I was staying in
3:08
Speaker 1: New York, like between my weekends where I go on
3:10
Speaker 1: the road and Joe goes on the road, so we
3:11
Speaker 1: meet up. The last two weeks we've met up in
3:14
Speaker 1: New York. Going to New York and going out to
3:16
Speaker 1: restaurants was the most challenging for me because that's where
3:18
Speaker 1: I wanted Margarita right. I wanted Margarita no salt and
3:22
Speaker 1: I and that was very difficult. But Joe is so
3:26
Speaker 1: great because he doesn't care about drinking, so it didn't matter,
3:30
Speaker 1: so it was easy to be with him. So we
3:32
Speaker 1: started ordering non alcoholic beers and now I'm addicted to
3:35
Speaker 1: non alcoholic beer. Class Tower is my favorite. But I
3:39
Speaker 1: went into one place and they had the Heideken zero
3:41
Speaker 1: and they handed to us, handed it to us, and
3:45
Speaker 1: I was like jones ing by the time, I like
3:47
Speaker 1: the third day of non alcoholic beer. Once I was
3:49
Speaker 1: introduced to it, I was like, oh wait. I was like,
3:51
Speaker 1: I need out alcoholic beer right now. Joe, let's go.
3:55
Speaker 1: And He's like, oh my god, you're such a non
3:56
Speaker 1: alcoholic alcoholic. And they served us a Heineken zero and
4:02
Speaker 1: it was warm, and I just I said, we have
4:05
Speaker 1: to go right now, and I just left a hundred
4:07
Speaker 1: bucks on the table and we departed. I was like,
4:09
Speaker 1: I'm already struggling. So it was the last week that
4:12
Speaker 1: was the hardest. I broke it. Last night after my
4:14
Speaker 1: show at the Beacon, I went out with Matteo, Lane,
4:17
Speaker 1: and Alana Glazier from Broad City. She was at my show,
4:21
Speaker 1: love her and Matteo and his friend Dorian, and we
4:25
Speaker 1: had an apperall sprits at dinner. I had to lovely, Lovely.
4:30
Speaker 1: I've been feeling the same way like after week two.
4:34
Speaker 1: It was harder, and I kept sort of waiting for
4:36
Speaker 1: what everybody talks about, like and I just felt so
4:38
Speaker 1: inspired and wonderful and no hangovers and all this stuff.
4:42
Speaker 1: I kept waiting for that, but I just found myself
4:44
Speaker 1: being very bored in the evenings and very boring. I
4:47
Speaker 1: found myself to be boring, Like people come on the
4:50
Speaker 1: road in the openers. I have different girls coming to
4:53
Speaker 1: different cities, and I think they think, like it's going
4:55
Speaker 1: to be this party afterwards, We're gonna go to drink,
4:58
Speaker 1: And I was like, I go to my room and
5:00
Speaker 1: FaceTime with my boyfriend, and now that's my life and
5:03
Speaker 1: I have I have no social skills without alcohol, Like
5:06
Speaker 1: I mean, I do, but you have to. It's a hurdle.
5:09
Speaker 1: Like going out without drinking is like do I really
5:12
Speaker 1: want to do that to myself. I'd rather just go
5:14
Speaker 1: home and be by myself, so there's no pressure to socialize,
5:18
Speaker 1: you know. And Plus when I'm starting my tours, I liked,
5:21
Speaker 1: well this store. I wanted to be really focused, and
5:23
Speaker 1: I kept running into people that had done a thirty
5:26
Speaker 1: day cleanse, like my hair stylist Ben Scriven in New York.
5:29
Speaker 1: He was like, oh, I I took January sober January,
5:33
Speaker 1: and then it led to ten more months and I
5:35
Speaker 1: was like, oh, is that going to happen to me?
5:37
Speaker 1: Am I going to be a sneaky sober person? And
5:40
Speaker 1: then I was like no, no, you can't do that, Chelsea,
5:42
Speaker 1: Like that is not your personality. So I think it
5:45
Speaker 1: has to be accumulative. Like I think people get to
5:47
Speaker 1: a month and then they do another month and then
5:49
Speaker 1: you start to feel so incredible, but like month three,
5:52
Speaker 1: I don't have that kind of time. Another thing that
5:55
Speaker 1: happened was that I was eating whatever the funk I
5:57
Speaker 1: wanted to do or wanted to and that was counter
6:02
Speaker 1: active to my no alcohol right. The one thing I
6:05
Speaker 1: did notice is that my skin and my face was tight,
6:09
Speaker 1: like is tight. It got tight and everyone was going,
6:12
Speaker 1: oh my god, your skin is so incredible. That could
6:14
Speaker 1: also be because I'm in love. It could also be
6:16
Speaker 1: because I'm getting penetrated on a regular basis. But there
6:20
Speaker 1: is a definite component about you know, alcohol does aide you.
6:23
Speaker 1: That's not deniable. I mean, but yeah, I I'm glad
6:27
Speaker 1: to be done with it. I'm gonna have a drink tonight.
6:30
Speaker 1: We're gonna go out to dinner with Joe and his
6:31
Speaker 1: son and his ex wife and her friend, and I'm
6:35
Speaker 1: planning on having a stiff drink. It's a night for
6:38
Speaker 1: a drink. Yeah, And I think I'll just I think
6:42
Speaker 1: I'll probably taper off my drinking a little bit. I mean,
6:44
Speaker 1: it was already a lot less than I had been.
6:47
Speaker 1: But I do like being clear and on stage. I
6:50
Speaker 1: don't like having alcohol in my system or around when
6:54
Speaker 1: I'm when I'm performing. Yeah, I would imagine it sort
6:56
Speaker 1: of slows you down and makes you a little more
6:58
Speaker 1: sluggish on stage. Sluggish. And I'll so, Yeah, Like I
7:01
Speaker 1: like sharpness. I want to be quick and I want
7:03
Speaker 1: to be sharp and I want to know what the
7:04
Speaker 1: hell I'm doing so that I'm in complete control of
7:07
Speaker 1: the situation. Right. So, I luckily, at the age tender
7:11
Speaker 1: age of forty six, I've realized how to do stand up.
7:14
Speaker 1: What are you planning on having as your first drink?
7:16
Speaker 1: I think it's gonna be champagne. But one of the
7:20
Speaker 1: other things that happened at some point during this experiment,
7:23
Speaker 1: like there was a night where I woke up in
7:26
Speaker 1: the morning and felt like I had a hangover. Like
7:29
Speaker 1: if I had had a drink the night before, I
7:30
Speaker 1: would have been like, wow, I got a hangover from
7:32
Speaker 1: one drink. That happened to me too, did it. Yeah,
7:34
Speaker 1: every morning that I was on the road, I woke
7:36
Speaker 1: up and felt hung over, And I'm like, this is
7:38
Speaker 1: very unfair, because god forbid I was drinking. How the
7:41
Speaker 1: funk would I have felt? I wouldn't have been. And
7:42
Speaker 1: the schedules when you're when you're on the road, like
7:44
Speaker 1: you take four hour car drives. It's a fucking racket.
7:47
Speaker 1: And you know, it takes a lot of energy to
7:49
Speaker 1: be on stage for an hour and a half or
7:51
Speaker 1: however long I do, usually like an hour, ten twenty minutes,
7:55
Speaker 1: but it takes a lot. Then with alcohol just compounds
7:58
Speaker 1: the situation. So I was like, Oh, if I feel
8:01
Speaker 1: hungover without alcohol, what is alcohol going to add to
8:04
Speaker 1: the mix. So that's very frustrating, but I felt that
8:07
Speaker 1: way too. Yeah, but I think it's going to be champagne.
8:10
Speaker 1: Champagne is the thing, Okay, Yeah, well I can't enjoy that.
8:13
Speaker 1: I also don't want to minimize that people do have
8:17
Speaker 1: real struggles with alcohol. Clearly we're joking about it, but
8:19
Speaker 1: I know a lot of our listeners have a lot
8:21
Speaker 1: of issues with substances, and so please don't you know,
8:25
Speaker 1: I don't want you to feel disrespected or not heard.
8:28
Speaker 1: I think having it be this easy to take a
8:31
Speaker 1: break is a reason to take a break from alcohol.
8:34
Speaker 1: If it is difficult to take a break, then you
8:36
Speaker 1: probably have something to talk about, you know, And you
8:39
Speaker 1: should take a break if it feels like you can't.
8:42
Speaker 1: But I know that people sometimes have to take a
8:45
Speaker 1: break and sometimes they have to stop. So you and
8:48
Speaker 1: I are clearly just taking a break. And yeah, and
8:52
Speaker 1: that was, honestly one of the things that motivated me
8:54
Speaker 1: to not quit in the middle is because I thought
8:58
Speaker 1: to myself, well, if I can't do the default days,
9:00
Speaker 1: then that means something to me, and maybe there is
9:03
Speaker 1: an issue with that because I enjoyed drinking, but it
9:06
Speaker 1: was kind of a nice refresher to see how I
9:09
Speaker 1: function without it and kind of take the temperature on that. Yeah,
9:13
Speaker 1: see how I functioned without it? Yeah, exactly because I
9:15
Speaker 1: said to Joe, I got I have no social skills.
9:17
Speaker 1: He goes, Honey, you can't say that if you don't drink,
9:19
Speaker 1: you have no social skills. I'm like, no, I haven't
9:22
Speaker 1: had social skills since the pandemic, and not drinking is
9:25
Speaker 1: really making me realize it. But we all are lacking
9:29
Speaker 1: in social skills right now. You know, we're all just
9:31
Speaker 1: gonna be a little weird. There's a lot of gaps
9:34
Speaker 1: and conversations where there were none before. Let's just put
9:36
Speaker 1: it that way. Yes, absolutely, And by the way, you
9:39
Speaker 1: know what, I've got so many d ms on Instagram
9:41
Speaker 1: of people who were joining us in the in the
9:43
Speaker 1: on the clans. They were like, you've inspired me to
9:46
Speaker 1: take thirty days off. I got a girl that said
9:48
Speaker 1: she took thirty days off. She's moving on to another
9:50
Speaker 1: month because she feels so great. So to all of
9:52
Speaker 1: the people that DM me who are listening to this.
9:54
Speaker 1: I see your messages and I'm really excited that we're
9:58
Speaker 1: able to kind of do this stuff together because it's
10:00
Speaker 1: so helpful to do something like this and no other
10:02
Speaker 1: people are doing it with you, you know, Yeah, have you?
10:05
Speaker 1: Has your husband done it too? Um, he's sort of
10:08
Speaker 1: done it. He drank a lot less, we'll put it
10:12
Speaker 1: that way. You know. Our love runs deep, So yeah,
10:15
Speaker 1: you're running and even deeper now because you guys have
10:18
Speaker 1: been watching Sex, Love and Gool. Which brings us to
10:22
Speaker 1: our next guests. And she's a very exciting guest. But
10:26
Speaker 1: we have to take an ad break. Oh, we'll be
10:28
Speaker 1: right back. Okay. Sounds good. Okay, So I'm going to
10:33
Speaker 1: go ahead and introduce our guest for today, who is
10:36
Speaker 1: a dear friend of mine. I love her so much.
10:38
Speaker 1: She's an actress. She's an entrepreneur and CEO and founder
10:41
Speaker 1: of Goop, Gwyneth Paltrow. Her show is Sex, Love and Goop.
10:48
Speaker 1: It premiers Thursday, October one, which means you can catch
10:51
Speaker 1: it today. It's a new six part series on Netflix,
10:55
Speaker 1: and I am very excited to introduce my friend Gunnet. Hello.
11:00
Speaker 1: Oh hello, call her go ahead, caller, caller, are you there?
11:07
Speaker 1: It's meet Chelsea callor Esther. Are you there? Is that you?
11:11
Speaker 1: We see you? Baby? I see you? Can you see me?
11:13
Speaker 1: You look beautiful? Oh honey, not as beautiful as you? Hi? Hi, Hi, Hi?
11:19
Speaker 1: Where are you? I just got to l A. We're
11:21
Speaker 1: in a studio in l A. This is my co host, Katherine.
11:24
Speaker 1: She's my producer on this podcast. She will be joining us.
11:29
Speaker 1: Nice to meet you, Gwyneth. Let's get right into it. Okay, Yeah,
11:34
Speaker 1: I would like to start with a you just came
11:37
Speaker 1: out with a new vibrator that was very exciting for
11:40
Speaker 1: everybody to find out about, because you've been at the
11:43
Speaker 1: forefront of celebrities embracing their sex lives and discussing all
11:50
Speaker 1: the kind of taboo subjects that everybody in our industry
11:54
Speaker 1: seems to be very shy about. So as I was
11:56
Speaker 1: reading this quote about you, it sounded a lot about
11:59
Speaker 1: like a quote about out me. It says Gwyneth has
12:01
Speaker 1: always pushed uncomfortable topics forward and been an advocate for
12:05
Speaker 1: normalizing the conversation around female pleasure. And I thought, what
12:10
Speaker 1: a great thing to be an advocate for female pleasure.
12:14
Speaker 1: And I know from our own friendship forgive me when
12:17
Speaker 1: I call her Esther listeners. I called Gwyneth Esther and
12:19
Speaker 1: she calls me YELSEI because we have a history together
12:23
Speaker 1: and those are our nicknames from a long time ago.
12:26
Speaker 1: And I'm not really even sure why, but we've stuck
12:28
Speaker 1: with it. I know, why, tell me? Why do you remember? Why? Yeah,
12:34
Speaker 1: but I'll tell I'll tell you, Okay. It sounds like
12:36
Speaker 1: an ex boyfriend that I'm not just supposed to mention anyway,
12:40
Speaker 1: both it's a double penetration ex boyfriend. We're not supposed
12:44
Speaker 1: to mention. But we have had very candid conversations about sex,
12:49
Speaker 1: you and I have, and and I have to say,
12:52
Speaker 1: you know, growing up and knowing of Gwyneth, and before
12:55
Speaker 1: I knew her personally, I had an idea about you
12:58
Speaker 1: and I had a not a judgment, I want to say,
13:01
Speaker 1: but I just thought, wow, yeah, I know I didn't
13:05
Speaker 1: eat you, but I just definitely thought you were very patrician.
13:09
Speaker 1: That's the right word, right, patrician, which isn't to say
13:12
Speaker 1: that you aren't. But when I did get to know you,
13:14
Speaker 1: one of the things the most endearing qualities about you
13:18
Speaker 1: is how open you are about sex, and how open
13:21
Speaker 1: you are about everything really and I remember talking about
13:25
Speaker 1: our sex lives, and we were we had a very
13:28
Speaker 1: kind of candid conversation with a bunch of people around,
13:30
Speaker 1: and I just thought, oh, this is this is more freeing.
13:34
Speaker 1: And you were more free than I was at that point,
13:37
Speaker 1: which I thought, Oh, how ironic. I'm known as this
13:40
Speaker 1: person who's outspoken and says everything, and yet you were
13:44
Speaker 1: so much more easily able to discuss kind of the
13:47
Speaker 1: the taboos of things like you know, vibrators and different
13:51
Speaker 1: kinds of sex, and what turns you on and what
13:53
Speaker 1: turns you off, and and all of the things that
13:55
Speaker 1: go into the melting pot of being so attracted to
13:58
Speaker 1: somebody and building on out attraction through trust and through
14:02
Speaker 1: kind of self exploration and everything that encompasses being a whole,
14:07
Speaker 1: more full person. Would you say that you were always
14:10
Speaker 1: that way? I think so, you know, I mean I
14:12
Speaker 1: tend to be I guess a little more circumspect, but
14:17
Speaker 1: you know, like in public, but when I'm with my girlfriends,
14:20
Speaker 1: as you know, like I just I just want to
14:24
Speaker 1: go there, like I want to know what is in
14:27
Speaker 1: everybody's way, what are the friction points? Like what is
14:30
Speaker 1: everybody up against? Can we peel off some layers of stuff,
14:35
Speaker 1: Like I'm so fascinated by what makes us all tick
14:38
Speaker 1: and the things that we're honest about and not honest about,
14:42
Speaker 1: and what our blind spots are. And I think, like
14:44
Speaker 1: the conversation around sex with your women friends, it's such
14:47
Speaker 1: a fascinating one because it's like this microcosm of their
14:50
Speaker 1: lives where like they think they're talking about sex, but
14:53
Speaker 1: they're talking about everything right there, talking about all insecurities
14:58
Speaker 1: or you know, patterns that come up, like it's all
15:01
Speaker 1: right there. And so I just find it like a
15:03
Speaker 1: really fascinating topic. And when do you think that you
15:07
Speaker 1: came into your kind of sexual awareness, Like when do
15:11
Speaker 1: you think what age were you when you really started
15:13
Speaker 1: to understand yourself and your wants sexually, because obviously it's
15:17
Speaker 1: a moving target for many of us. Exactly Well, I
15:20
Speaker 1: think you said it perfectly, and I think it's still
15:23
Speaker 1: a moving target, and I think forever it's an exploration.
15:26
Speaker 1: And you know, recently, I've started to think, I don't
15:30
Speaker 1: know if you feel this way, but I feel like
15:32
Speaker 1: there's so much programming that happens implicitly from the time
15:36
Speaker 1: we're young, especially our generation, about what good girls do
15:40
Speaker 1: and don't do. And so therefore, if you have a
15:44
Speaker 1: thought that's maybe outside the box, or if you want
15:46
Speaker 1: to do something that's outside the box, I think you're
15:49
Speaker 1: conditioned to think there's something wrong with you, or you know,
15:53
Speaker 1: you're weird or whatever. And I think a couple of things.
15:56
Speaker 1: I think, first of all, I've had sort of chapters
15:59
Speaker 1: in my life where I've felt very close to myself
16:02
Speaker 1: sexually and like accepting myself sexually, and then chapters of
16:06
Speaker 1: my life where I've felt really far away from myself,
16:08
Speaker 1: and I don't know. I think the idea that like,
16:12
Speaker 1: I would just love it if we could all give
16:14
Speaker 1: ourselves the space to be like, well, let you know,
16:17
Speaker 1: let me just explore what this what what this thought is,
16:20
Speaker 1: or what this feels like, as opposed to constantly putting
16:24
Speaker 1: it in a context of like shame or it was
16:27
Speaker 1: bad because I didn't get what I want, or like
16:30
Speaker 1: just like what if we started to open up a
16:32
Speaker 1: little bit and talk about it's really hard, Like have you,
16:36
Speaker 1: you know, been with a partner and said, well, you're
16:38
Speaker 1: a different case because you're very forthright. But I think
16:42
Speaker 1: to say, like that doesn't feel good, or I would
16:44
Speaker 1: really love it if you tried this, Like, it's just
16:47
Speaker 1: really hard for women to say. I want to say that.
16:49
Speaker 1: It's hard even for me to say. Everyone thinks that
16:51
Speaker 1: I have like no idea. It is hard for me
16:54
Speaker 1: to say. You know, I I've recently been talking about
16:57
Speaker 1: blow jobs because that was something that I thought was degrading.
17:00
Speaker 1: I really did. I grew. I went in high school.
17:02
Speaker 1: I had a guy. The first time I tried to
17:04
Speaker 1: give a blowjob, he put his hand on the back
17:06
Speaker 1: of my head, and I thought, get that buck off
17:09
Speaker 1: of me, like, you are never allowed to touch me again.
17:12
Speaker 1: And so for so many years I was so kind
17:15
Speaker 1: of traumatized by that one incident that I thought blow
17:18
Speaker 1: jobs equated degradation, like that was demoralizing and and that
17:23
Speaker 1: wasn't That wasn't a girl that respected herself. And now
17:26
Speaker 1: that I'm in love with somebody, I want to give
17:29
Speaker 1: blow jobs to him. I want to put his hand
17:31
Speaker 1: on the back of my head. I'm like, yes, yes,
17:34
Speaker 1: Like I've never felt more inclined to want to put
17:38
Speaker 1: someone's penis in my mouth than I do with somebody
17:41
Speaker 1: that I deeply, deeply love. And I get it now.
17:44
Speaker 1: I just paused to say, is this this is the
17:47
Speaker 1: same guy from summer. Yes, yes, Joe Coy is his name.
17:50
Speaker 1: He's my game, he's my lover. So psyched because I
17:54
Speaker 1: thought when we were having dinner in the summer, I
17:55
Speaker 1: was like this, really, this really sounds promising, like you
17:58
Speaker 1: were talking about it's on baby. Never heard you talk
18:01
Speaker 1: about a dude, So this is great. It's on baby,
18:04
Speaker 1: and you're going to meet him at some point and
18:05
Speaker 1: he cannot and he has given me because I because
18:09
Speaker 1: there is a deep love and a deep respect. There
18:11
Speaker 1: is an intimacy there that I have never experienced before.
18:14
Speaker 1: So when you talk about saying to somebody, hey, when
18:17
Speaker 1: they're rubbing the side of your labia instead of your
18:19
Speaker 1: clatorus and we just sit there and pretend that that's
18:23
Speaker 1: acceptable and fake and orgasm, I've come to a point
18:27
Speaker 1: in my life where I'm like, no, honey, move your
18:28
Speaker 1: hand over here. This is where this is and that
18:31
Speaker 1: level of intimacy where you can say to somebody, hey,
18:34
Speaker 1: this is what I like, this is what I want
18:36
Speaker 1: to try. Let's try. This is something that that is
18:39
Speaker 1: the definition of intimacy. I agree with you completely, and
18:43
Speaker 1: I just want to acknowledge that it is really a
18:46
Speaker 1: vulnerable conversation in a hard conversation for I think especially
18:49
Speaker 1: women to have and especially younger women especially. You know,
18:52
Speaker 1: it's like you look around in this generation and the
18:54
Speaker 1: messages they're being told about sex, and it's like they
18:58
Speaker 1: have to be fuckable, and you know, it's like I
19:01
Speaker 1: worry so much about the messages they're getting about who
19:05
Speaker 1: they're supposed to be sexually. So that's kind of like
19:08
Speaker 1: why I wanted to do the show so badly, because
19:11
Speaker 1: I thought it would be so nice to have some
19:12
Speaker 1: counter programming to all of that, you know, and to
19:15
Speaker 1: show what happens in an intimate relationship when there are
19:18
Speaker 1: when there are problems, when problems arise, and and the
19:22
Speaker 1: level of communication that's needed and bravery, you know, to
19:26
Speaker 1: counteract some of that. I just get very disturbed by
19:29
Speaker 1: by what I see and in the popular culture in
19:32
Speaker 1: terms of what what a girl is supposed to look
19:34
Speaker 1: like and therefore be like do you know what I mean? Yeah? Absolutely?
19:38
Speaker 1: And I think the new show you have coming out,
19:40
Speaker 1: which is on Netflix, I think it streams today, correct, Yes,
19:43
Speaker 1: it drops today, comes out. It drips it drip drops today.
19:47
Speaker 1: It's called sex Love and Goop. And this is an
19:51
Speaker 1: exploration of five couples that are seeking ways to be
19:55
Speaker 1: more intimate and have a stronger kind of sexual relationship,
20:00
Speaker 1: stronger intimacy, and a stronger understanding really of of what
20:06
Speaker 1: it means to be there for your partner and what
20:08
Speaker 1: it means to ask for what you want, which is
20:11
Speaker 1: what we're all about, because I think this applies to
20:14
Speaker 1: everything in a woman's life. Asking for what we want
20:17
Speaker 1: is sometimes the last thing we're able to do. And
20:20
Speaker 1: so if you can apply this, I think it always
20:22
Speaker 1: starts at home. If you can apply it to your relationship,
20:24
Speaker 1: you're able to apply it to the world, You're able
20:26
Speaker 1: to apply it to your career, and so on and
20:28
Speaker 1: so on. And Catherine, you were telling me that you
20:31
Speaker 1: guys were watching it with your husband. I watched it
20:34
Speaker 1: with my husband, and one thing I found so amazing
20:38
Speaker 1: was literally ten minutes in, like ten minutes in we
20:41
Speaker 1: were pausing a show. We were like talking about things
20:44
Speaker 1: that we we've never talked about, and not just about sex,
20:47
Speaker 1: but about relationships. And and I mean I learned I've
20:50
Speaker 1: been with him for sixteen years, and I learned stuff
20:53
Speaker 1: about him I never knew. So it was this wonderful
20:56
Speaker 1: experience to watch together and discover new things about each
20:59
Speaker 1: other other. It was really cool. I'm so happy about that. Yeah,
21:04
Speaker 1: do you want? Would you and Brad watch it together
21:06
Speaker 1: and discover new things about yourselves? Gwyneth, we haven't watched
21:10
Speaker 1: it together. He hasn't seen it yet. You know. It's
21:13
Speaker 1: like when you're editing a show and you're just in
21:16
Speaker 1: the computer with headphones on. But I'm looking forward to
21:18
Speaker 1: watching it with him. I want to say, like, your
21:21
Speaker 1: relationship with each other has been so inspiring to watch,
21:23
Speaker 1: because the two of you really had a really beautiful
21:27
Speaker 1: friendship that developed into a love ship and developed into
21:32
Speaker 1: a marriage. And for a long time, you guys didn't
21:34
Speaker 1: even live together. I'm still not even convinced you really
21:37
Speaker 1: do now because we do. But what do you think
21:41
Speaker 1: that added to your relationship by remaining independent but together. Well,
21:47
Speaker 1: it's interesting because the reason that we we got we
21:51
Speaker 1: were together for a long time and we never we
21:53
Speaker 1: didn't live together, and then we got married and we
21:55
Speaker 1: decided let's just wait another year before we move in.
21:59
Speaker 1: And the consciousness behind that was really like, let's just
22:02
Speaker 1: let the kids kind of settle into this energetic body
22:06
Speaker 1: of like a marriage and a family, and and I
22:10
Speaker 1: think for that year it was funny because in the
22:13
Speaker 1: years before it was nice to have that time. It's like, oh,
22:16
Speaker 1: tonight is like my night with Brad. I'm so excited,
22:19
Speaker 1: and now tonight he's with his kids, and oh my god.
22:22
Speaker 1: Fun I get to have a girl's dinner or I
22:24
Speaker 1: get to like drink wine in the bath and then
22:27
Speaker 1: dance around like a lunatic like and I was like,
22:30
Speaker 1: this is great, this is so fun because we get
22:32
Speaker 1: the best of both worlds. And then interestingly, if once
22:34
Speaker 1: we got married, I really really missed him and and
22:38
Speaker 1: it was like it felt like, gosh, I really wish
22:41
Speaker 1: we lived. It felt like we should be living under
22:43
Speaker 1: the same roof. And so by the time he moved in,
22:45
Speaker 1: it was really I had a lot of longing and
22:48
Speaker 1: I was so excited about it. Oh that's so sweet,
22:51
Speaker 1: and he's so sweet too. Yeah, yeah, I think that's
22:55
Speaker 1: And also dating is so much sexier, Like the longer
22:58
Speaker 1: you could prolong that experience with somebody, I think the
23:01
Speaker 1: sexterior relationship becomes you know. I I love to think
23:05
Speaker 1: of the idea. When people ask me if I'm gonna
23:06
Speaker 1: get married, I'm like, I would just like to be
23:08
Speaker 1: engaged for a really long time because I want to
23:10
Speaker 1: be with my boyfriend, not necessarily my husband. But that's
23:14
Speaker 1: those are my issues about what, you know, the construct
23:16
Speaker 1: of marriage and all that bullshit, which is irrelevant for this.
23:19
Speaker 1: But I will say, like if you kind of take
23:22
Speaker 1: the modern version of marriage out of it, or like
23:25
Speaker 1: the patriarchical version of marriage, and it's like and you
23:28
Speaker 1: kind of go back to some other thing of like
23:31
Speaker 1: a real commitment to someone, like something cool does happen.
23:34
Speaker 1: You'll see it's like this. It is like this entity
23:38
Speaker 1: that you guys create. It's this very cool thing. I mean,
23:42
Speaker 1: you know what I'm talking about. Because you've been married
23:44
Speaker 1: for sixteen years, right, Yeah, I think there is an
23:47
Speaker 1: energetic shift you don't expect with that. Like we got
23:51
Speaker 1: married very young, and years later when our friends started
23:54
Speaker 1: getting married, they were like, nothing's going to change. We've
23:57
Speaker 1: been living together. It's just a piece of paper. And
24:00
Speaker 1: every time there was a shift, and it was either
24:03
Speaker 1: for the better or for the worst, like some people
24:07
Speaker 1: thought about things that they had never fought about or
24:09
Speaker 1: just had different expectations of each other. But there is
24:12
Speaker 1: some shift that happens. Yeah, because you're teaming up and
24:15
Speaker 1: it's a partnership, you know, and a lot of people,
24:18
Speaker 1: I think also think that marriage is going to solve
24:21
Speaker 1: you know. Conversely, I think many people think marriage is
24:23
Speaker 1: going to solve a lot of the issues that they
24:25
Speaker 1: may have. So that's why this show is so well.
24:27
Speaker 1: It's always been timely, but timelier now I think because
24:30
Speaker 1: people are open more open to having these kind of deeper,
24:33
Speaker 1: intimate conversations about what they're feeling. I forget the couple's name,
24:37
Speaker 1: but the woman who talks about unclenching in one of
24:39
Speaker 1: the episodes, and I was like, oh my god, unclenching.
24:43
Speaker 1: I'm like, do I do that? And I think I might,
24:46
Speaker 1: And how she said, I realize I've been clenched for
24:49
Speaker 1: so long and just had this incredible emotional experience through
24:53
Speaker 1: that she she and her partner, and there was Erica
24:56
Speaker 1: and Damon, I believe, and I mean they both had
24:59
Speaker 1: these basically like touching the face of God experiences. I
25:03
Speaker 1: feel like the energetic orgasm that Damon had, and and
25:07
Speaker 1: her experience with unclenching and letting herself be freer, and
25:10
Speaker 1: and the body shame that went with some of the
25:12
Speaker 1: assumptions that she made about her body because of what
25:15
Speaker 1: partners had said in the past. And I mean, yeah,
25:17
Speaker 1: that's something that I think all women can relate to.
25:20
Speaker 1: You know, I had a boyfriend who told me my
25:21
Speaker 1: boobs were too big, and then I went on a
25:23
Speaker 1: topless rampage for six years after we broke up to
25:26
Speaker 1: prove to myself that my boobs were just perfect and
25:29
Speaker 1: they were for me. But he had given me a
25:31
Speaker 1: complex about it for so long at that I was like,
25:35
Speaker 1: by the time I got away from him, on like freedom,
25:37
Speaker 1: You know, I should embrace these boobs. They're mine, They're natural,
25:40
Speaker 1: they're big and bountiful, and I should love them. So yeah,
25:43
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people shame us into thinking
25:45
Speaker 1: about our bodies. I know, Gwyneth, you and I have
25:48
Speaker 1: had this conversation about past boyfriends making comments about parts
25:51
Speaker 1: of our bodies and carrying it with you for so long,
25:54
Speaker 1: and what that does to our self esteem and self worth. Absolutely,
25:58
Speaker 1: and if you take that, which is I think the
26:01
Speaker 1: most painful, because you know, you're at your most vulnerable
26:04
Speaker 1: when you're in an intimate relationship with somebody, and if
26:06
Speaker 1: they take that opportunity to hurt you even if they're joking,
26:14
Speaker 1: it cuts so deep in that context. And yeah, it's funny,
26:17
Speaker 1: Like I've had stuff that stayed with me for a
26:19
Speaker 1: really long time, like you little comments here and there,
26:23
Speaker 1: and that's what I loved. Someone there's one expert in
26:26
Speaker 1: the show named Amina, and she does this exercise with
26:29
Speaker 1: this woman where she disrobes and she kind of just
26:32
Speaker 1: like looks at her body naked, and it's this exercise
26:36
Speaker 1: and acceptance. I thought it was really powerful because I
26:41
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, you know the way that
26:43
Speaker 1: we look at our bodies through this insane under a
26:47
Speaker 1: microscopic lens of everything that's wrong, and I was like,
26:50
Speaker 1: we have got to stop doing that. It's so I
26:53
Speaker 1: think it hurts us in so many ways, you know.
26:56
Speaker 1: I think it it affects how you can report yourself
26:58
Speaker 1: in the world, how you relate to herself sexually. It's
27:01
Speaker 1: like and then you know, you take something like that,
27:03
Speaker 1: and then you take social media and how we're all
27:05
Speaker 1: supposed to look and it's like, by the end of
27:07
Speaker 1: the day, how can you feel good about yourself? Right?
27:10
Speaker 1: I said this gun last week's podcast, but I was
27:12
Speaker 1: talking about Joe my my lover, and I was saying
27:15
Speaker 1: how I was. I was in my Orka and I
27:17
Speaker 1: was looking at my arms like, go oh, honey, I
27:18
Speaker 1: think I have like cellulate on my arm. Now what
27:20
Speaker 1: is going on? And he said, honey, cellulate is the
27:23
Speaker 1: sexiest thing in the world. That's what makes a woman
27:25
Speaker 1: a woman. And I'm like, oh my god, I have
27:27
Speaker 1: to write that fucking down. I mean, every woman needs
27:31
Speaker 1: to hear that. That is what makes a woman a woman.
27:35
Speaker 1: On that note, yeah, thank you. On that note, Let's
27:39
Speaker 1: take some callers Gwyne's So what people are gonna call
27:41
Speaker 1: in ask us some questions. We're going to give our
27:44
Speaker 1: best advice to them and help them. This is the best.
27:47
Speaker 1: It's such a fun podcast. I love it well. Our
27:50
Speaker 1: first question comes from mel in Vancouver. She's thirty four.
27:55
Speaker 1: She says, Dear Chelsea, I've been dating a tall, dark
27:59
Speaker 1: and handsome attawel I in Man for almost two years.
28:01
Speaker 1: He's forty nine and I'm thirty four. Everything about him
28:04
Speaker 1: is great except one giant problem. I feel like he's
28:07
Speaker 1: the child I never wanted. He doesn't do anything for himself.
28:11
Speaker 1: If I wasn't in his life, he would never do
28:13
Speaker 1: laundry or cook a meal and because of this, our
28:16
Speaker 1: sex life is non existent. In the beginning, it was okay,
28:18
Speaker 1: and now nothing. He's financially stable, has two great kids,
28:22
Speaker 1: and wants all the same things I want out of life.
28:25
Speaker 1: But if he can't start taking care of me in
28:27
Speaker 1: the ways I need sexually and emotionally, I think I
28:29
Speaker 1: need to leave. I would say I would agree with that.
28:33
Speaker 1: You're not his housekeeper. I mean that isn't fun or hot,
28:37
Speaker 1: so so I mean you that's going to take care
28:40
Speaker 1: of itself anyway, because as long as somebody's not turning
28:43
Speaker 1: you on or looking after you in a way that
28:45
Speaker 1: makes you feel cared for, you're gonna lose your boner
28:49
Speaker 1: for that relationship, right. And I felt like this question
28:52
Speaker 1: was so similar to Rama and felicitas who are in
28:55
Speaker 1: sex love and Goup, where he was blindsided when she
28:58
Speaker 1: all of a sudden was like, you know what, I
29:00
Speaker 1: think I want a divorce and he didn't know anything
29:02
Speaker 1: was wrong, but they had this dynamic where he was
29:05
Speaker 1: childlike and she would sort of condescend to him, but
29:08
Speaker 1: he needed so much from her. It was just very uneven. Yeah, yeah, no,
29:14
Speaker 1: reciproc I would say, she's not she's not married. And
29:18
Speaker 1: they don't have kids. It's like the old adage when
29:21
Speaker 1: someone shows you who they are, believe them. It's like
29:24
Speaker 1: he's not going to all of a sudden one day
29:26
Speaker 1: start taking care of himself and her And right, I mean,
29:30
Speaker 1: I don't. I think it's unless I don't know if
29:32
Speaker 1: they've exhausted all possibilities and if they've had therapy and
29:36
Speaker 1: stuff like that. But that sounds like he needs to
29:39
Speaker 1: to resolve some things, needs to resolve some things. And yeah,
29:43
Speaker 1: obviously you want to explore the idea of talking to
29:46
Speaker 1: a professional who can help him understand that that's not
29:49
Speaker 1: a contributing factor to a great sex life or to
29:52
Speaker 1: a long term relationship because you're playing a motherly role
29:56
Speaker 1: and while that's fine in moments, it's not fine as
29:59
Speaker 1: your entire a relationship. That's not your role. If you
30:02
Speaker 1: haven't gone to therapy, please try that first so that
30:05
Speaker 1: he can become a little bit more self aware, because
30:07
Speaker 1: maybe he just doesn't understand and the only relationships he's
30:10
Speaker 1: been in were with his mother and then possibly a
30:13
Speaker 1: wife who did that for him. So you have to
30:15
Speaker 1: make it clear that this situation is something that you're
30:19
Speaker 1: not going to be on board with and then you know,
30:23
Speaker 1: everyone is capable of change at a certain point in
30:25
Speaker 1: their lives, and love will do that to you. It
30:27
Speaker 1: will make you want to change. So I wouldn't say
30:30
Speaker 1: that there's no hope for him. I would just say
30:33
Speaker 1: make sure that you find out quickly whether there is
30:35
Speaker 1: or not. Chelsea's more optimistic than I when it seems
30:38
Speaker 1: down about that. Sorry, yeah, sorry, color anyway, good luck
30:42
Speaker 1: and report back. Let us know what happens. Yes, yes, please.
30:46
Speaker 1: Our next question comes from Rose. She is a pharmacist.
30:51
Speaker 1: I'm a Pharmacist's funny. I'm actually a pharmacological into it,
30:55
Speaker 1: so that's that's different. Now. She was potentially going to
31:01
Speaker 1: come and call in and talk to us, but her
31:05
Speaker 1: almost husband decided that he did not want her to
31:07
Speaker 1: do that. I actually asked him to join as well,
31:09
Speaker 1: because I thought this would be a really beneficial conversation
31:11
Speaker 1: to have with the two of them. But here's her issue.
31:14
Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea, my husband. They're getting married this week. Actually,
31:18
Speaker 1: my husband has always played lots of video games, but
31:21
Speaker 1: he's turning thirty this year, and I think it's time
31:23
Speaker 1: he shifted his priorities. He's been in dead end jobs
31:26
Speaker 1: for the last ten years and keep saying he'll go
31:28
Speaker 1: back to school or learn new skills. I have a
31:31
Speaker 1: doctorate degree in a stable job. However, when it comes
31:33
Speaker 1: to taking action, he devotes almost eight to ten hours
31:36
Speaker 1: a day to playing video games. I feel guilty making
31:40
Speaker 1: him spend time with me, and even when we spend
31:42
Speaker 1: time together, he's on his phone chatting or reading about
31:45
Speaker 1: video games. How do I get him to focus on
31:47
Speaker 1: our future? More? Rows Gwyneth, Why don't you take the
31:51
Speaker 1: lead on this? I mean, I think that he's using
31:53
Speaker 1: video games as as an excuse to avoid life and
31:59
Speaker 1: looking it himself, and intimacy and and just about everything
32:04
Speaker 1: Like this is a real red flag. I mean I
32:07
Speaker 1: would somebody who is disengaging to this point and not
32:12
Speaker 1: meeting their partner's needs to this point, and choosing not
32:15
Speaker 1: to be in a partnership over a video game. I
32:18
Speaker 1: I personally think like if they're about to get married,
32:22
Speaker 1: I would crash in an emergency therapy session. Yeah. I
32:27
Speaker 1: would also like to say that not only is that
32:29
Speaker 1: this is several red flags. Eight to nine hours a
32:32
Speaker 1: day playing video games, It's an unacceptable way to spend
32:37
Speaker 1: your and where does he work? Like I don't understand
32:39
Speaker 1: who has time to play eight to nine hours of
32:41
Speaker 1: video games. I spoke with him. He's kind of like
32:42
Speaker 1: a like a gig worker type of thing. Okay, well
32:45
Speaker 1: that's great, but he has to develop some other interests
32:47
Speaker 1: that involve his potential wife. And if they're getting married
32:51
Speaker 1: this weekend, I mean, this is this is sad because no,
32:54
Speaker 1: I don't think she should be getting married to somebody
32:56
Speaker 1: this weekend who she feels guilty to ask to. She
33:00
Speaker 1: feels guilty when she asked him to spend time with her.
33:02
Speaker 1: Is heartbreaking. You should never feel that way about your partner,
33:06
Speaker 1: and certainly not over video games. But there's an addiction here, right,
33:11
Speaker 1: This is not just like I'm playing video games he is.
33:14
Speaker 1: There's an addiction issue for sure, and people use addictive
33:19
Speaker 1: behavior as a way to enops the ties bad or
33:23
Speaker 1: sad or hard feelings. Like he needs to go and
33:25
Speaker 1: look at what he's trying to avoid feeling. Yeah, and
33:29
Speaker 1: he's probably not going to be very open to that
33:31
Speaker 1: conversation in his current state. So I mean, I would
33:34
Speaker 1: hate to say something as dramatic as postponing the marriage,
33:37
Speaker 1: but I mean, in my my instinct tells me that
33:39
Speaker 1: that's exactly what you should do, because it sounds like
33:42
Speaker 1: you're going to be making a grave mistake without holding
33:45
Speaker 1: his feet to the fire before you marry him, and
33:48
Speaker 1: allowing this behavior and moving into a marriage while he's
33:52
Speaker 1: doing this is sanctioning that behavior and letting him think
33:56
Speaker 1: that that's okay. So what is her name? Rose? Was?
34:00
Speaker 1: I really I'm sorry that you're dealing with this and
34:03
Speaker 1: going through this, but I just want to tell you
34:05
Speaker 1: it's not acceptable as a woman to another woman. This
34:08
Speaker 1: is not acceptable and you deserve a lot more. And
34:11
Speaker 1: when you hold hired standards, somebody will meet you there.
34:14
Speaker 1: My parents always said that quality time comes with a
34:18
Speaker 1: quantity of time, So you don't get that quality time
34:21
Speaker 1: just by like picking a time for quality time. It
34:23
Speaker 1: happens when you have a longer period of time with
34:25
Speaker 1: someone and you get those special moments. And this just
34:29
Speaker 1: leaves me thinking, how do they have any level of
34:32
Speaker 1: intimacy when there's really no time in his life for her? Like,
34:36
Speaker 1: how do you keep an intimate relationship with that emotionally
34:39
Speaker 1: or sexually at all. Yeah, it's funny that you say that,
34:43
Speaker 1: because I was I was talking to my friend about
34:45
Speaker 1: you know, ex husbands and divorced dads, and how they
34:48
Speaker 1: come in hot, you know, on the weekend, and they
34:50
Speaker 1: want to make that time count, and it's like, you
34:52
Speaker 1: can't just do that. It doesn't work that way. You
34:54
Speaker 1: can't pop in and out like a pop up. It
34:57
Speaker 1: has to be prolonged periods of time lead to those
35:00
Speaker 1: special special exactly what you said, and you said it beautifully,
35:04
Speaker 1: so I'll try not to butcher it any further. Fuck Well,
35:08
Speaker 1: our next question, we do have a caller. This is Teresa.
35:13
Speaker 1: Teresa says, Dear Chelsea, I'm twenty six and in my
35:16
Speaker 1: first real relationship. My boyfriend treats me right. He's so kind,
35:20
Speaker 1: funny and thoughtful, respectful and smart. I could really see
35:24
Speaker 1: him being the one. The only issue is, for the
35:27
Speaker 1: past three months, nearly every time we try to have sex,
35:30
Speaker 1: he goes soft right before we can actually have sex.
35:34
Speaker 1: I will say, he's extremely talented in other arenas, so
35:37
Speaker 1: much so that it hasn't really bothered me that we
35:40
Speaker 1: haven't fully had sex, But he gets super worked up
35:43
Speaker 1: and in his head about it, which just makes things worse.
35:46
Speaker 1: He lost a ton of weight during quarantine, and his
35:49
Speaker 1: body image issues are definitely contributing to the whole thing.
35:52
Speaker 1: I just don't know how to help without embarrassing him
35:55
Speaker 1: or making things worse. What do I do? Teresa? Hi, Teresa, Hi,
36:00
Speaker 1: so nice to meet you. Thank you for having me.
36:03
Speaker 1: Hi Teresa, Hi, great to meet you. Nice to meet
36:06
Speaker 1: you too. This might be obvious, but has he tried
36:09
Speaker 1: by agra or something like that? So he hasn't, And
36:12
Speaker 1: I'm trying to figure out the best way to kind
36:14
Speaker 1: of bring it up without it damaging his self esteem
36:17
Speaker 1: more because I know it's a very like tricky topic,
36:20
Speaker 1: especially for guys. So I'm trying to figure out kind
36:22
Speaker 1: of like the best way to have that conversation, and
36:25
Speaker 1: he would be open to it, I think. I mean,
36:28
Speaker 1: if he's feeling terrible about not being able to it
36:32
Speaker 1: feels to me like it's a pretty easy conversation to
36:35
Speaker 1: have from that place, right, like, Hey, this is happening,
36:38
Speaker 1: I can see how upset you are. Why don't we
36:42
Speaker 1: give this a try? Like what's the worst it can happen? Yeah,
36:45
Speaker 1: And I've mentioned that I'm open to it and like
36:46
Speaker 1: open to whatever he wants to try. I think he
36:49
Speaker 1: just needs like the push to do it. Even though
36:51
Speaker 1: I've encouraged him to. So I don't know, does you
36:55
Speaker 1: have any trauma in his past? Like, does he has?
36:58
Speaker 1: He explored it all. This might be happening. He's mentioned
37:02
Speaker 1: just kind of general self esteem issues. So I think
37:05
Speaker 1: it's like since the first time when it didn't happen,
37:07
Speaker 1: like he kept getting in his head about it and
37:10
Speaker 1: then it just got worse and worse. Oh, he needs
37:12
Speaker 1: to break the cycle. He needs to pop a viagra,
37:15
Speaker 1: right right, guys, Yeah, you know this happens to so
37:19
Speaker 1: many people, by the way, just so you know, and
37:21
Speaker 1: just so he knows. And I know you're protecting his
37:24
Speaker 1: ego and you want to be careful with him, but
37:26
Speaker 1: you're a team, right, You're on his side, so it
37:28
Speaker 1: doesn't have to be emasculating and it doesn't have to
37:32
Speaker 1: take his manhood away to be like, Okay, listen, we
37:34
Speaker 1: have a slight issue. Let's figure it out. Everything is workable.
37:37
Speaker 1: You obviously love him, he loves you. And I once
37:41
Speaker 1: got this shaky leg syndrome right where all of a sudden,
37:44
Speaker 1: my legs started shaking when I was on stage and
37:46
Speaker 1: that had never happened to me. And I make a
37:48
Speaker 1: living by standing on stage and talking so that was
37:51
Speaker 1: a real problem for me, and I started taking beta
37:55
Speaker 1: blockers and they said, okay, take them for three weeks
37:58
Speaker 1: and then you'll just change the neuropathway is the neural
38:00
Speaker 1: pathways in your brain, and you remember not to send
38:03
Speaker 1: that signal to your brain that you're nervous and that
38:05
Speaker 1: your leg is shaking, and that's how it's presenting itself.
38:08
Speaker 1: And once I cut that out, like, I've never had
38:10
Speaker 1: that problem again. This sounds analogous to that. Obviously it's
38:14
Speaker 1: a separate issue, but it sounds kind of in the
38:16
Speaker 1: same ballpark. There's probably plentiful antidotes to this situation, whether
38:21
Speaker 1: it's viagra, whether it's therapy, whether it's him, you know,
38:25
Speaker 1: getting more comfortable with his body. I think the first
38:27
Speaker 1: and foremost, you just have to remind him in this
38:29
Speaker 1: conversation that there's nothing to be embarrassed about when it's
38:32
Speaker 1: concerning the two of you. You are a team. You
38:35
Speaker 1: love him, and you're gonna be with him, whether or
38:37
Speaker 1: not he could ever have sex again exactly. Yeah, it
38:40
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. If he's so great in other areas and
38:42
Speaker 1: then it really doesn't matter. But he'll get past this
38:46
Speaker 1: and he just has to be willing to kind of
38:48
Speaker 1: face it, because before you can get past anything, you
38:51
Speaker 1: have to face something. Yeah. I think he also doesn't
38:53
Speaker 1: realize how common it is. I feel like guys that
38:55
Speaker 1: probably don't talk about it, like the same white girls
38:58
Speaker 1: talk about things, Yeah, because why would they. Why would
39:00
Speaker 1: a guy be like, hey, I lost my direction to
39:03
Speaker 1: last night. Can you believe like that's not something to
39:05
Speaker 1: brag about? You know, they're not on the SmartLess podcast
39:08
Speaker 1: with Will Arnett saying I got soft last night. No
39:11
Speaker 1: one is bragging about that. So you have to be
39:14
Speaker 1: sensitive to why men are, you know, are the way
39:17
Speaker 1: they are, and they are so insecure about stuff. They
39:19
Speaker 1: don't talk to each other about that stuff ever ever,
39:23
Speaker 1: So I think it's just being more of a ballast
39:26
Speaker 1: of support. It's always just showing people that you're there
39:29
Speaker 1: for them when they're in their most insecure phases, which
39:32
Speaker 1: is what he's going through with his weight loss. That
39:34
Speaker 1: shifts you know, your bio rhythm, your biology, all of
39:38
Speaker 1: that stuff is affected. So I wouldn't even think about
39:41
Speaker 1: this as a serious issue, and I wouldn't treat it
39:44
Speaker 1: as a serious issue. You know, it's just something you
39:47
Speaker 1: guys are gonna deal with together and figure out a
39:49
Speaker 1: way through. Yeah, I agree, and that's how I've kind
39:52
Speaker 1: of been treating it too. I think for him, he
39:53
Speaker 1: was worried about losing me over it, even though I've
39:55
Speaker 1: assured him a million times that, like, he's amazing and
39:58
Speaker 1: I love him and I wouldn't change anything else about him.
40:01
Speaker 1: So I'm very happy. That's really sweet. And you know,
40:06
Speaker 1: we all have our things that make us holly imperfect, right,
40:11
Speaker 1: It's like we're all human beings, we all have problems,
40:14
Speaker 1: we all have stuff, and it's like if he's an
40:17
Speaker 1: amazing human being and this is the thing, and you
40:20
Speaker 1: feel like you can get past it. And by the way,
40:22
Speaker 1: as Chelsea said, there is totally hope. That's amazing that
40:25
Speaker 1: you're able to prioritize who he is as a person
40:28
Speaker 1: over everything else. And he's good at other things. So
40:31
Speaker 1: I'm having a good time. Yeah, we got it, you
40:33
Speaker 1: like when he goes down on you, we got it
40:35
Speaker 1: loud ready, we got it, And we're happy for you.
40:38
Speaker 1: And he's lucky to have you. Yes, well, thank you,
40:43
Speaker 1: and Docoy is lucky to have you. I'm very happy
40:45
Speaker 1: for you, Chelsea. Thanks Teresa, thank you so much. It's
40:49
Speaker 1: so nice. Thank you, thank you. Oh she's so cute. Yeah.
40:54
Speaker 1: This brings me back to like Darshana and Camille, who
40:58
Speaker 1: were a nice lesbian cup ball on sex, Love and Goop.
41:02
Speaker 1: And what I thought was so interesting is that one
41:05
Speaker 1: of them had issues with penetration, which you know, is
41:09
Speaker 1: so similar to this situation. But it came back to
41:12
Speaker 1: that religious trauma that she had gone through, and the
41:17
Speaker 1: relaxation exercises they did, the like hands on sexual therapy
41:21
Speaker 1: that they did, really helped. But I mean it truly
41:25
Speaker 1: for her was it was all in her head and
41:28
Speaker 1: getting past that really opened up so many new avenues
41:31
Speaker 1: for them. And I think that's an important salient point
41:34
Speaker 1: to drive home for this series for Gwyneth, because it
41:37
Speaker 1: is we all, especially as women, are so in our
41:42
Speaker 1: heads about how, you know, think about hooking up with
41:46
Speaker 1: somebody for the first time or getting to know somebody
41:49
Speaker 1: and thinking about the way that you present your body
41:51
Speaker 1: or the positions you put yourself into be more flattering,
41:54
Speaker 1: or you know, looking a certain way, or you know,
41:57
Speaker 1: we all look a little bit ugly at times when
42:01
Speaker 1: we're having sex. We look a little silly, we look
42:03
Speaker 1: a little ridiculous, and instead of is showing that it's
42:06
Speaker 1: better to lean in and embrace it and understand that
42:09
Speaker 1: we are human beings. That we are going to look
42:11
Speaker 1: silly with our legs behind our ears, you know, you know,
42:15
Speaker 1: but we are going to be in positions that are vulnerable,
42:18
Speaker 1: that make us feel like, you know, oh my god,
42:21
Speaker 1: where is he going to see my bellule? Fat? Is
42:23
Speaker 1: he gonna see my cellulite? And as woman, the more
42:27
Speaker 1: you embrace that, the more that you lean into it,
42:30
Speaker 1: the more sexualized you become, and the more sexy sex becomes. Yep,
42:39
Speaker 1: did you just climax? It sounded like I mean, it
42:42
Speaker 1: really makes me think of again my relationship with my
42:45
Speaker 1: husband because, to put it quickly, he and I have
42:48
Speaker 1: very different taste in women, and it took me a
42:51
Speaker 1: long time to realize that, you know, I'm a curvy girl.
42:55
Speaker 1: He doesn't like me despite my body type. He actually
42:58
Speaker 1: likes me because of my body type. And honestly, Instagram
43:02
Speaker 1: really helped with that, following a lot of gorgeous women
43:06
Speaker 1: who look a lot like me and being like, wait,
43:08
Speaker 1: if she looks great in that bikini dress? Whatever. It
43:12
Speaker 1: took a while, but I had to sort of recondition
43:14
Speaker 1: my brain to finally realize, like, well, that's actually what
43:17
Speaker 1: turns him on, that's what he's looking for in a partner.
43:20
Speaker 1: And well, I know, Esther, you've said this to me before,
43:23
Speaker 1: that Brad always likes you like eight pounds up. Because
43:25
Speaker 1: Esther always thinks she's eight pounds up or seven, it's
43:28
Speaker 1: seven or eight. She's always like, I'm eight pounds heavier
43:30
Speaker 1: than i'd like to be. And I'm always three pounds
43:32
Speaker 1: heavier than I like to be. And my guy Joe
43:36
Speaker 1: is always like, I like put more weight on. He's like,
43:38
Speaker 1: I like a little extra meat on you. And I
43:40
Speaker 1: know Brad likes I'm Gwinnett too, He's like, I like that,
43:43
Speaker 1: you know, bulk up. That seems to be a theme
43:46
Speaker 1: here because my doesnt. So. I think what we think.
43:49
Speaker 1: You know, we're always presenting ourselves almost for other women,
43:53
Speaker 1: not for our men, because if if they had their druthers,
43:56
Speaker 1: we would all be a little beefier. They want something
43:58
Speaker 1: to hold onto, They like a little junk in our trunk,
44:00
Speaker 1: wouldn't you agree, Esther? I think that's absolutely right. I
44:03
Speaker 1: think that we as women look in the mirror like
44:06
Speaker 1: we have I don't know how we arrived at this
44:09
Speaker 1: ridiculous idea or number or whatever. But we're like, oh,
44:12
Speaker 1: I like myself at X weight. And as you were saying,
44:16
Speaker 1: like we need to, I think just expand you know,
44:20
Speaker 1: instead of looking at at things through a punitive lens,
44:23
Speaker 1: like I'm not where I want to be, I don't
44:25
Speaker 1: look my best. It's like, what if we just like
44:27
Speaker 1: relax a little bit and open the spectrum of like
44:30
Speaker 1: what was beautiful for us? And because I do think
44:33
Speaker 1: a lot of a lot of men, you know, like us.
44:36
Speaker 1: However we come that day, you know what I mean.
44:38
Speaker 1: They're far more accepting of us than we are of
44:41
Speaker 1: our own bodies, I know. And and it's funny that
44:45
Speaker 1: we hold you know, there is a new new movement
44:48
Speaker 1: that's been happening for the last couple of years with
44:50
Speaker 1: people like Ashley Graham who are so body positive and
44:54
Speaker 1: who is a professional model who's showing all of the
44:57
Speaker 1: flaws that we have on our body and showing the
44:59
Speaker 1: b uty of cellulite, of pregnancy, of all of you know,
45:03
Speaker 1: the gorgeousness that is involved in that. And I think
45:06
Speaker 1: there's a new phase of body consciousness that people understand.
45:10
Speaker 1: You know, every type is sexy, and it sounds it
45:13
Speaker 1: can sound like a bunch of horseship, But it's like
45:14
Speaker 1: when you really talk to people who are living in
45:18
Speaker 1: their bodies, and I know you you are always living
45:21
Speaker 1: in your body because you're always doing something to help yourself.
45:23
Speaker 1: Are you still not? I saw got this summer and
45:25
Speaker 1: she hadn't had a drink in like seven months, and
45:28
Speaker 1: that may be sad. I just oh, by the way, Ester,
45:31
Speaker 1: I just finished a thirty day alcohol cleans. Can you
45:34
Speaker 1: dig it? She fs She's about to finish a three
45:36
Speaker 1: hundred and sixty five day alcohol less Oh my god,
45:41
Speaker 1: it's been Yeah, it's been a long year of no
45:44
Speaker 1: barely any alcohol. I mean I've had a sip here
45:47
Speaker 1: and there, but very well. But how is that affecting you?
45:49
Speaker 1: Are you happy about that? Do you feel great? Or
45:51
Speaker 1: do you feel you know me? I love a drink
45:55
Speaker 1: and I love the ritual of it, and I love
45:57
Speaker 1: to sit down and have one and chat. And I
46:01
Speaker 1: love the taste of alcohol, like I'm I love whiskey
46:04
Speaker 1: and wine and whatever vodka like I'll take it all.
46:08
Speaker 1: But I think what happened was it was it was
46:11
Speaker 1: just you know, having gotten COVID and having felt like Ship,
46:15
Speaker 1: but like having had long COVID stuff for a while,
46:18
Speaker 1: and I just wasn't I just didn't feel vibrant. I
46:21
Speaker 1: didn't feel good, and I had really high inflammation levels.
46:26
Speaker 1: And the doctor was like, look, you really need to
46:27
Speaker 1: clean up your act, like you gotta at least for
46:30
Speaker 1: three months, no alcohol, no grains, no sugar, you know,
46:33
Speaker 1: nothing processed, everything like that, and so I kind of
46:38
Speaker 1: begrudgingly did it, and then I just started to feel
46:40
Speaker 1: so good. And I don't know, I'm not going to
46:44
Speaker 1: do it forever. But I think has been about like
46:48
Speaker 1: me trying to value my health and wellness a little
46:52
Speaker 1: bit more, because especially during COVID, I was just like
46:55
Speaker 1: eating whatever, drinking you know, seven nights a week. And
47:01
Speaker 1: it's been really interesting and I like, I sleep so
47:05
Speaker 1: much better with no alcohol. It's wild, like I have
47:08
Speaker 1: this orr ring and it tracks like your heart rate
47:11
Speaker 1: and how will you sleep? And it's like if I
47:13
Speaker 1: have two SIPs of wine, like on Saturday night with
47:17
Speaker 1: someone's birthday and I toasted and I had two SIPs
47:19
Speaker 1: of wine and like I slept like ship. So I
47:22
Speaker 1: don't know, we'll see, Yeah, I know, that's what I thought.
47:24
Speaker 1: I was like, Oh, I'm gonna do thirty days of
47:26
Speaker 1: no alcohol, and I was like, oh no, what if
47:28
Speaker 1: I become one of those sober people because people always
47:30
Speaker 1: go I did thirty days and I felt so good,
47:32
Speaker 1: so I did it sixties. So I made sure a
47:33
Speaker 1: day thirty. I'm like, get me an apriall spirits right stack,
47:36
Speaker 1: because I don't want to be sober, but thank God
47:38
Speaker 1: because you not drinking. It's like, I don't even know
47:41
Speaker 1: what that means. Our last question comes from Sydney, and
47:46
Speaker 1: this ties right into some of the things you have
47:48
Speaker 1: going on at group right now, Gwyneth Dear Chelsea. I'm
47:51
Speaker 1: twenty four years old and I haven't had sex in
47:53
Speaker 1: three years. I'd be totally fine with that if I
47:56
Speaker 1: knew how to masturbate, but I don't, nor have I
47:59
Speaker 1: ever had an orgasm. My parents were open and encouraging
48:03
Speaker 1: when it came to our sexuality, but for some reason,
48:05
Speaker 1: I've never been able to overcome the mental hurdles. I
48:08
Speaker 1: would try the casual hook up, but I'm terrible at dating,
48:11
Speaker 1: and my last sexual encounter was a bit traumatic and
48:14
Speaker 1: has taken me a lot of time to process. At
48:16
Speaker 1: this point, the most stimulation I get is from that
48:18
Speaker 1: cheesy show Sex Life. What do I do? Thank you? Sydney?
48:23
Speaker 1: What do you think esther? First of all, I think
48:25
Speaker 1: there's a lot of pressure around orgasm and dating, and Gio,
48:31
Speaker 1: who is one of the experts on the show, kind
48:33
Speaker 1: of talks about a spectrum of orgasms and a spectrum
48:35
Speaker 1: of pleasure and that sometimes you know, we have this
48:38
Speaker 1: in our mind. It's like this high stake situation and
48:41
Speaker 1: are we going to be able to orgasm or not?
48:44
Speaker 1: And I think if Sydney starts to just explore what
48:48
Speaker 1: feels good to her, you know, it doesn't have to
48:50
Speaker 1: be straight to the genitals. It's like, what is she like?
48:54
Speaker 1: What feels good like? You know? She I think she
48:58
Speaker 1: should try to understand her body. And he's totally accepting
49:01
Speaker 1: of what feels right to her and what turns her on.
49:05
Speaker 1: You know, think of the things that turn you on.
49:08
Speaker 1: For a total beginner like that, would you recommend a
49:11
Speaker 1: like a toy like a vibrator or just kind of
49:14
Speaker 1: experimenting on her own. I think that a vibrator can't hurt,
49:17
Speaker 1: because it's good to just explore what you know, what
49:20
Speaker 1: your options are, and see what's out there. I mean,
49:22
Speaker 1: vibrators are popular for a reason. You know, a lot
49:25
Speaker 1: of women get a lot of pleasure from that. People
49:27
Speaker 1: have very sensitive nipples, people have very sensitive backs of
49:30
Speaker 1: their neck, people have, you know, sensitive areas. You kind
49:33
Speaker 1: of have to find out what your zone is, you know,
49:36
Speaker 1: where you feel like you're being turned on. What do
49:39
Speaker 1: you see that turns you on? Is it a man,
49:41
Speaker 1: is it a woman? Is it gay porn? Is it
49:44
Speaker 1: straight porn? Like is it porn? Is it a love story? Like?
49:47
Speaker 1: You just have to find out where, like you know,
49:49
Speaker 1: your orogenous zones are a and what kind of makes
49:54
Speaker 1: you get those feelings is a good place to start.
49:56
Speaker 1: And she did mention that she had trauma in her past,
50:00
Speaker 1: and that is obviously something that needs to be explored
50:04
Speaker 1: and then extinguished for her to feel free enough sexually,
50:08
Speaker 1: to relax enough to find out what does give her pleasure,
50:12
Speaker 1: because there is a relaxing component that you need to have.
50:15
Speaker 1: It's like when you hook up with somebody in the beginning.
50:17
Speaker 1: I know for myself it was very hard to have
50:21
Speaker 1: sex with people I didn't have relationships with and allow
50:26
Speaker 1: and and and and come to orgasm like I wouldn't
50:29
Speaker 1: feel comfortable enough. I could have sex with them, but
50:32
Speaker 1: I wasn't going to relax enough and show them the way.
50:35
Speaker 1: And this is what I like, and I want you
50:36
Speaker 1: to do this to my boob or we know whatever.
50:39
Speaker 1: Like I don't feel comfortable. I didn't feel comfortable enough
50:42
Speaker 1: with somebody to do that. So you do have to
50:44
Speaker 1: relax and have an understanding of your own body and
50:48
Speaker 1: a comfort level. And if there is trauma that's unresolved,
50:51
Speaker 1: then that is going to contribute to that kind of stall.
50:55
Speaker 1: I agree with that. And after that, I think we
50:58
Speaker 1: can all go finger blast ourselves. Yeah, I mean that's
51:01
Speaker 1: the takeaway. Problem solved, as usual, problem solved. You've come
51:04
Speaker 1: to the best. I'm happy to send Sydney. Let's do that. Please,
51:08
Speaker 1: Let's send her. Let's make sure we record that. Let's
51:11
Speaker 1: send her, send her exactly. That's perfect. Gwyneth to the
51:15
Speaker 1: rescue as usual, Yes, usual, lament. I think we actually
51:20
Speaker 1: should take a quick break. Oh, okay, we'll go to
51:25
Speaker 1: some ads. So one thing we've been doing recently is
51:29
Speaker 1: our guests are actually asking Chelsea for advice. So, Gwyneth,
51:32
Speaker 1: is there anything that you'd like to ask Chelsea? Yes,
51:35
Speaker 1: this is my favorite part of the show, so I
51:36
Speaker 1: need you to take it very seriously. Esther, I would
51:39
Speaker 1: love to ask, what are the practices that you put
51:43
Speaker 1: in place to finally get over the hurdle of your
51:47
Speaker 1: intimacy stuff and really accept Joe wholeheartedly and deeply into
51:53
Speaker 1: your heart. Well, I spent a lot of time in therapy,
51:57
Speaker 1: like two years, and then I did it full attle
52:00
Speaker 1: because I didn't want to do it long term. I
52:02
Speaker 1: wanted to do it and get to the root of
52:03
Speaker 1: the matter, and of course I'll go back when issues arise,
52:07
Speaker 1: but I didn't want it to be a long term thing.
52:09
Speaker 1: And I remember somebody saying, you know, when you get healthy,
52:12
Speaker 1: you attract a healthy and I always thought, okay, what
52:15
Speaker 1: do I have to do to get healthy? And the
52:16
Speaker 1: first thing was really digging deep into, you know, discovering
52:20
Speaker 1: yourself and what your what your issues are, why you
52:22
Speaker 1: behave the way you do, why I had so many
52:24
Speaker 1: guardrails up and once you unpack that. If somebody had said, Okay,
52:28
Speaker 1: in six years you're gonna meet the love of your life,
52:30
Speaker 1: I would be like, Okay, just blow my brains out.
52:32
Speaker 1: That's too long, you know. If somebody had set but
52:34
Speaker 1: that's really how long it took, because it's the practice
52:37
Speaker 1: of going to therapy. Then it's the practice of taking
52:40
Speaker 1: what you learned in therapy and absorbing it and then
52:44
Speaker 1: applying it to your life, which is a daily practice.
52:47
Speaker 1: And I now I'm just a much healthier, emotionally healthier person.
52:52
Speaker 1: I meditate every morning I used I meditate on my
52:55
Speaker 1: grounding Matt every morning. I am a positive light instead
53:00
Speaker 1: of I don't like if anyone is negative, or anyone
53:03
Speaker 1: is bitching or gossiping. I no longer have any frequency
53:06
Speaker 1: for that. I just immediately am turned off by that,
53:09
Speaker 1: and I walk in the other direction, and my habits
53:12
Speaker 1: have changed. And when you are light and love, then
53:14
Speaker 1: it just bounces right back at you. And for me
53:17
Speaker 1: to see his light and love, which was around me
53:20
Speaker 1: for fifteen years in my face, I did not see it,
53:23
Speaker 1: and it was sitting right in front of me, and
53:25
Speaker 1: he wouldn't have it. And I go, I can't believe
53:27
Speaker 1: we've wasted fifteen years. He goes, Honey, we didn't waste
53:29
Speaker 1: fifteen years. He goes, this is the best it's ever
53:31
Speaker 1: gonna be. The timing is perfect. I could have been
53:34
Speaker 1: five more years, and I would have been happy to
53:36
Speaker 1: have you then, like, so I just I mean, I
53:39
Speaker 1: can't say it enough. Like when you do the work
53:41
Speaker 1: to make yourself the best version of yourself, which is
53:44
Speaker 1: an ongoing process as we all know, it attracts the best,
53:49
Speaker 1: and then you're able to see with a clearer lens
53:51
Speaker 1: all of the people, all of the things that you
53:53
Speaker 1: were missing, like how green the trees are, you know,
53:56
Speaker 1: and how beautiful it is to walk on the beach,
53:58
Speaker 1: and all of the little things that I thought we're
54:00
Speaker 1: corny to think about or mentioned are beautiful to me now,
54:04
Speaker 1: you know. I look at the moon, I stare at it.
54:06
Speaker 1: I'm like, that is magnificent, you know. I look at
54:09
Speaker 1: the trees, I'm like, look at nature, Like everything is beautiful.
54:13
Speaker 1: So yeah, I feel very healed. Not like I'm fully
54:16
Speaker 1: cooked or done, but I feel like I'm in the
54:19
Speaker 1: process of healing. And being in love is the most
54:21
Speaker 1: healing thing I could have ever asked for. Oh my god,
54:24
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm crying. I'm so happy for you. Thanks honey,
54:29
Speaker 1: Thanks Esther. I'm so happy for you too. You have
54:32
Speaker 1: that kind of love too. We've been praying for this
54:34
Speaker 1: for you for a long time. So I can't believe
54:37
Speaker 1: how beautiful that was. You're so sweet to be crying,
54:41
Speaker 1: Esther's crying everyone, and you're moving me. I love you.
54:44
Speaker 1: I love you, honey. I love you so much. And
54:47
Speaker 1: I'll be your neighbor in about a year once I'm
54:49
Speaker 1: done renovating my house. I can't wait to get you
54:52
Speaker 1: in the neighborhood. Exciting times, honey. Ladies, this was so wonderful.
54:57
Speaker 1: Thank you for having me. I really appreciate it. And
54:59
Speaker 1: every one can tune into sex love and Goop It's
55:01
Speaker 1: dreams today Netflix, watch it, watch it. You're gonna have
55:05
Speaker 1: four sex with your partners. Everybody is going to be healed.
55:10
Speaker 1: Thank you, Oh my god, thank you so much. By Okay,
55:14
Speaker 1: bye guys. Thanks Civilian, thank you, thank you. By