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Why Powerful Women Struggle to Talk About Themselves with Heidi Yarger · Serious Lady Business

• Leslie Youngblood (00:01.313) Welcome to Serious Lady Business. I'm Leslie Youngblood, your host, feminist and founder of Youngblood MMC, a marketing, media and content agency. Today we are joined by Heidi Yarger. Heidi is the founder and creative director of Spitfire Girl, a strategic branding studio helping high achieving women turn scattered visibility into a magnetic personal brand. So their book, business or big idea launches with authority, not crickets. Heidi (00:27.886) You Leslie Youngblood (00:28.031) Trusted by top publishers, PR firms, and industry insiders, she's worked with bestselling authors like Liz Elting, Julia Boorstin, and Andrea Lee Rogers on everything from book launch strategy and personal branding to web design and social media. Welcome, Heidi. Heidi (00:43.564) Thank you so much. I'm so glad to be here. Leslie Youngblood (00:45.875) I am so glad you are here too to talk about how powerful women struggle with talking about themselves. yes, I've seen it. You've seen it all the time. I don't want to sound braggy. I don't want to talk myself cringe, which, you know, drives me crazy. But you know, you work with women even at the top of their industries that you would think have no problem talking about themselves. What's the common thread that you hear from almost all of them about this? Heidi (00:52.206) And yes, unfortunately. Heidi (01:01.486) Mm-hmm. Heidi (01:15.874) I think you said it correctly, which is like cringe. I can't stand listening to myself. I don't want to hear myself talk. Probably the number one phrase I hear from all of my clients is I don't want to come across as braggy, which always breaks my heart a little bit because I'm like, you are a total badass. mean, my clients are literally like trailblazers. They are change makers. They are kicking ass at what they do, whether it's they built a Leslie Youngblood (01:21.738) Mmm. Leslie Youngblood (01:29.313) Mmm. Mmm. Leslie Youngblood (01:35.403) Right? Yes. Heidi (01:44.994) billion dollar translation company like Liz Elting out of her dorm room with no funding. mean, Julia Borson's on national television interviewing leaders of tech and finance and celebrity on CNBC. mean, my clients are really powerhouses. And when they've come to work with me, it's usually because they have a book coming out. And so they're used to showing up online for their job, right? Or on stages. Leslie Youngblood (01:49.931) music. Leslie Youngblood (02:11.221) you Heidi (02:12.718) They're very comfortable in those instances, but when it comes to promoting themselves or promoting their offer, their business, and again, usually a book, that's where there's this disconnect where it's like, well, can't I just show the book and be done with that? I'm like, no, we cannot do that. We cannot do that. Yeah. So it's it's a really, I mean, honestly, like the braggy comment is probably the number one thing I hear with every single woman that I've spoken with. It's gone. Leslie Youngblood (02:28.129) Absolutely not! Leslie Youngblood (02:40.386) why do you think all these accomplished women struggle to talk about themselves? Heidi (02:45.16) Mm-hmm. And it's themselves in a more vulnerable way. When we work with our clients, again, most of them tend to be, you know, an author is usually they've come to us because they have a book to promote. And so. Leslie Youngblood (02:49.953) Mmm. Heidi (03:00.526) they've put all their heart and soul into this book. mean, I have like no interest in writing a book because I know how much work it is. And so the fact that they're doing this on top of raising families and having, you know, high, high power jobs is so impressive to me. So when it comes to promoting, they're like, well, how do I, how do I talk about this portion of my life, this book? Leslie Youngblood (03:07.425) you Leslie Youngblood (03:24.008) Mm-hmm. Heidi (03:25.664) in a way that feels authentic, there's a disconnect, right? It's like they're used to just doing it for work. But then I always say, need, know, great books don't sell themselves, authors do. And they do because you make that connection to the author, right? And that comes from being vulnerable. And we've just kind of been systematically taught not really to do that. So, wow. Leslie Youngblood (03:37.396) Mm. Yeah. Mmm. Yes. Right. That's it's so such a dichotomy, which I and that you must see play out because we're taught be strong women do this and and not that like you're not being vulnerable. But then when you're told be vulnerable, you're like, wait, but no, I don't feel comfortable doing that. I don't want to do that. But yeah, right. Right. What does that matter? Nobody. Yeah, nobody cares. And and so it must be. Heidi (03:52.896) huh. Heidi (04:03.416) Yeah. Heidi (04:06.99) Or no one will care. No one wants to hear about that. Yeah. Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (04:15.443) Yeah, like endlessly fascinating and that that bragging to try to get through them is not bragging. It's their strategic authority, right? Tell us what is the difference there? Heidi (04:23.946) Exactly. Yeah, exactly. It's and it's not, it's not, they're not being self-focused. You know, the authority is really sharing your gifts with the world and, not, you know, we're not sharing it in ways that are like, look at me, look at me, right? We're doing it in a way that feels like you're nurturing an audience to get to know you better, to understand what your goals are, what your principles are, what you are with the principles of your book. Leslie Youngblood (04:34.858) Yes. Leslie Youngblood (04:39.253) Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (04:49.439) Mm-hmm. Heidi (04:50.051) whatever it may be, it doesn't really matter. The structure is still the same of how we help them to kind of get out of, crack that shell. Leslie Youngblood (04:58.099) Yeah, definitely. And so when did you personally realize visibility wasn't optional, but it's actually leverage, Heidi? Heidi (05:07.158) Well, I think now even more than ever, have to establish our own identity online. I know people are like, I don't wanna be online or I'm tired of being on social media, but it really is. I mean, if you're not gonna talk about yourself, somebody else will, particularly if you have a person of stature or a celebrity or whatever. So it's always important, I think, to define the narrative for yourself. Leslie Youngblood (05:23.713) True. Heidi (05:33.006) And then how you show up online really depends on your comfort level or if you're working with someone or whatever. sorry, say that question again. I didn't really fully answer that properly. Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (05:42.645) When did you personally realize? Yeah, no, that's okay. When did you personally realize that visibility wasn't optional? It was leverage. Heidi (05:50.915) Mmm. Heidi (05:55.361) I think that when, when a woman comes to me because they feel like I need to be promoting my book or I have a course or again, whatever it may be that they're, that they're doing, they realize that they're not, there's not a through thread throughout that's like, consistent people understand this is my story, this is where I came from, this is what I do. They're letting narratives from other places kind of define who they are. And so they're really wanting to just like create that foundation so that they can build upon it. Again, whether it's a book, it's a platform, a program, a product. I mean, we've had all of the above. So establishing what that personal brand is, how you... Leslie Youngblood (06:27.361) you Heidi (06:45.408) show up in the world. And it's not just online too. It's how you show up at networking events. And, you know, how people feel about you when you're not in the room, right? That's part of personal brand. That's not all just design. I am a designer, but that's, that's one part of it. Leslie Youngblood (06:51.649) you Right. Leslie Youngblood (06:58.389) Yes. Yeah, I love that you said that it's when you are in a room as well as being online, because if you show up one way online and then completely different in real life, that's not good either. You have to be, I'm sure you have. I'm sure you have. Heidi (07:10.888) I have had so many. I know so many people, not my clients, but I know I have met some high profile people in certain industries and I am like, you are a dud in person. You know, show up online one way, right? And then their personnel, I mean, that's fine. Leslie Youngblood (07:24.979) Right? Yes, and that is the worst. Right? What if it works? I mean, if it works for them, but the best, I think, and I'm sure you kind of tested this, the best people that people relate most to are the same online as you are in person because, you know, I look at it from marketing perspective too. The circle is connected all through. There's no kind of like discord. And so people's brains are like, yes, because this connects to what I've seen and what I think of you online. Heidi (07:47.982) Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (07:58.527) Sure people, there's always, we can have moments where we're maybe not ourselves or have a, know, throw it out of whack and there's people pretending, right? But like the best, you know, really do it in an authentic way. And you do that so well with your work and with your clients. And you've described, of course, you've described your work as taking a woman's scattered visibility and building that strategic foundation. Heidi (07:58.593) Right. Heidi (08:14.562) Thank you. Leslie Youngblood (08:22.977) Tell us more about scattered visibility and then what is within that strategic foundation, Heidi (08:29.23) Sure. So the scattered visibility, as I was mentioning kind of in the beginning, is that when women come to us, they typically have a reason, right? Because not everyone is like, I want to suddenly now have a personal brand. Like that's kind of a newer term. It's not a newer term, but like it's very in vogue. Now you go to LinkedIn and you know, everybody's talking about it, but like what the F does it mean? And so in our instance, they're coming to us because Leslie Youngblood (08:48.031) There you go. Leslie Youngblood (08:52.139) Mm-hmm. Heidi (08:57.742) they're known for, you know, I'm a CEO, I'm on TV, I'm this, I'm that, whatever it is that they do, I'm a wellness entrepreneur. And now they have a book. And so now they need to really establish what I like to call an author platform, but just remove the author aspect of it. all of your listeners, if you're like, what does this have to do with me? I don't write a book. But just when you come, for example, to your Instagram page, or LinkedIn or whatever platform is your favorite, that people can scroll down and immediately know who this person is about or whether or not it's their website, know, who they are, what they do, who they serve, and then something special about them, like what makes them special, right? For me, I mean, I kind of have a big personality. I'm a very petite person. I kind of like play that up, like, I have this big personality. Petite design dynamo is what I used to call myself. which sounds self aggrandizing, but whatever, we're gonna run with it. So it's establishing, again, that like foundation so that you know you can build upon it later. And so you're not just known for, I'm just known for being on television and interviewing people. But I also wrote this book where I interviewed 50 CEOs that, know, women that are CEOs and determined what their defining attributes are that, you know, they're kind of womenly attributes that normally would be like, Leslie Youngblood (10:06.965) Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (10:24.193) you Heidi (10:26.286) we only focus on male traits or leadership and stuff like that. Like women's leadership traits that made them better CEOs. That's Julia's book, When Women Lead. for example, so establishing again that thorough line throughout so that they can build upon their message from there. Leslie Youngblood (10:28.395) you right. Leslie Youngblood (10:34.645) Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (10:44.179) Yeah, yeah. And then when it comes to launching the book, you told us that it's because people need to see who you are and want to establish that relationship with you. And it's not just like you said, somebody listening might not be an author, but they might be launching a product or they might want a speaking career. You in those instances, too, it's inherently important as well, because, you know, right. Tell us about your perspective, whether you want to start a dog walking business or whether. Right. Heidi (10:57.282) Yeah. Yeah. Heidi (11:04.91) How absolutely. Heidi (11:10.338) Why should I care? Why should I care? Yeah. do you want me to talk about it? Leslie Youngblood (11:12.513) Thank you. Talk about that. about that. Yeah. Why should people... Yeah, no, want from your perspective. And that's what you tell your clients. Like, why should people care about you? Why should they care about your dog walking business? Why should they care about your new tech product? And why is that that important key question to ask yourself? the P.O.V. Yeah, P.O.V. P.O.V. I love it. God, I hear that phrase. Heidi (11:21.806) Yeah. Heidi (11:30.464) As the young kids say, POV. Leslie Youngblood (11:40.383) So many times I hate my household. If you have pre-jeans in your home, you can relate. The POV, why is the POV so important, Heidi? Heidi (11:40.618) Yes, if you have a teenager it's like, well, you're gonna listen to me. Heidi (11:49.635) Well, I mean, think you need to, again, in the world of AI where there's just everyone is talking constantly and there's no shortage of information, there's no shortage of entertainment, there's no shortage of nonsense kind of flying through the world. Like, again, establishing your stake in the world of what makes you special, what your skill sets are, all of that, that is establishing trust and connection. Leslie Youngblood (12:03.819) Mmm. Heidi (12:17.334) and obviously building influence hopefully for you as well. So, yeah. Leslie Youngblood (12:23.307) Yeah, think that's really, you touched in said AI there and the rise of AI has changed the importance of owning your narrative online in endless ways. What are some of the key things that you're seeing there, Heidi? Heidi (12:28.439) huh. Heidi (12:33.487) huh. Yes. Yeah, okay, so we talked about this offline. So I'm gonna, I was telling you, I'm gonna look off my screen because I want to, I want to quote something that I just read two days ago. So Anthropic who owns Claude and you know, obviously there's a lot of drama around Claude and chat and all this stuff, but they recently had their report. Hold on, of course, as soon as I touch it. Okay, yeah, Anthropic's labor report. And so it says what it reveals about women in business. And I'm actually quoting, Leslie Youngblood (12:53.504) Mm-hmm. Leslie Youngblood (13:03.595) Mm. Heidi (13:08.652) Rachel Rogers, someone who's built an amazing personal brand. And it said that the report says, in the most exposed professions are most likely to be older, female, more educated, and higher paid. Well, that's me. Maybe you too. You look young, but yeah, yeah, right? And so basically, women that are highly educated, highly well paid are at the most risk. So one of the... Leslie Youngblood (13:23.937) Me. Yeah. Maybe you listening. Heidi (13:37.825) One of the things that's really important is like basically making sure that you are kind of AI proofing your job. I am not an expert in this whatsoever. So I just want to preface by saying that, but so I want to read something to you. says that the businesses and women that will not only survive, but be in demand are built around what only humans can offer. lived experience guidance based on lived experience. leadership in pivots in real time, real relationships, taste, think that that's especially important for me as a designer, community and accountability and in-person. So that's something that AI, at least right now, hopefully, cannot replicate. And that is another way where personal brand really becomes important. I think taste, let's talk about that for a second. If you're in any kind of creative field, like having a unique point of view, sharing, Leslie Youngblood (14:09.771) Mmm. Heidi (14:33.73) You know, and again, I always kind of come back to social media because that's like a significant chunk of the work that we do. whether it's your sub stack or your podcast or your blog, any way that you're sharing your thought leadership becomes really important that it's unique to you, right? And that you are also serving an audience, serving whoever your audience is. There was one other thing I wanted to just regurgitate. Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (14:40.555) Mm-hmm. Leslie Youngblood (14:52.363) Mmm. Mm-hmm. Heidi (15:03.532) The businesses that will grow or women that will grow will be the ones doing high judgment, relationship intensive, deeply creative work. anything that focuses on building trust and accountability, again, tying that back to personal brand, that is why it is so important is because how you show up online, how you share, you know, whatever it is that you do, your thought leadership, et cetera, really is going to set you apart from AI bot person that, you know, I can do this job. Leslie Youngblood (15:10.729) Hmm. Leslie Youngblood (15:32.961) Right. Heidi (15:32.963) Right? Whenever I see, I'm on threads, which I love, but I stupidly clicked on a couple of links where it's like, Hey, you know, replace your designer or replace your strategist or your marketing person. Right. In like five minutes with these clod things. And yes, they are helpful. But I mean, time and time again, what I've noticed is I can now, I mean, everybody can, right? You can spot AI. Leslie Youngblood (15:37.227) Mm-hmm. Leslie Youngblood (15:48.139) Curious. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Leslie Youngblood (16:02.913) The to the train case. hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Stop me in my tracks. Yeah. Heidi (16:03.398) a mile away. Yeah, it's the three P right this this and this or it's not this it's this period. Right? like, yes, exactly. I know exactly. like, again, establishing, you know, a clear definitive point of view and in the ways that you do maybe it's your style and how you show up it is how you speak, you know, maybe when you're doing videos, it's very off the cuff. or very deeply personal or you're in your closet talking or whatever. Whatever it is that's important, that's your unique. I don't have a necessary rule to this because it's so personal to everybody. Hence, personal. That was a long winded part, but. Leslie Youngblood (16:32.747) Mm-hmm. Leslie Youngblood (16:47.337) Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, no, I think that is so spot on because it can, you need that human orchestrator, a human in the loop. We also were talking about, there's a phrase, a human in the loop, where you can have an AI. And I've experienced this even in my day to day, where whether I'm working on a strategy or even a social media post and it gives me a draft. I'm like, no, that's bad. I don't want to say. Heidi (16:59.98) Yes. Right, right. Heidi (17:15.4) Directing to the trash. Leslie Youngblood (17:16.297) stopped me in my tracks, right? Like don't ever say that again. But if I didn't know, I would just be regurgitating that. And again, people can see it and it becomes something that people don't pay attention to because at the end of the day, you need that human orchestrator to navigate all the tools and synergize everything together. And again, have that level of taste and have that level of community, which I think that women are inherently super good at. Heidi (17:30.124) Yeah. Heidi (17:40.311) Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (17:40.968) interesting that we may be the most effective, but we also, think, are the most uniquely equipped to navigate this new terrain and to also, with the rise of AI search and how we're being discovered online now, and to have what better time to take ownership of your narrative, whether it's blog posts, podcasts, book, social, so people can discover you in the right way and you can... Heidi (17:46.797) Mm-hmm. Heidi (17:56.174) You have Leslie Youngblood (18:07.573) really utilize AI to your advantage, right? Like don't let it, you know, tell you how it's going to be. You tell, you got to train AI, right? Like you're the boss, not AI. Heidi (18:17.686) Well, one point to just to go back to the AI and personal branding and you know that a trend that has been going on for I probably I guess the last two years or so is really brands and we typically don't work. We have but we in our agency Spitfire go we don't necessarily work with like I am a, know, elf cosmetics or something like, or a road. Like we've done those types of businesses before, but we, we tend to just work with, you know, solitoners or female led businesses, I would say eight, nine out of 10 times. But the point I was going to make is that going back to the personal brand is, and why it's important is now you are seeing companies having employees show up Leslie Youngblood (18:41.419) Mm-hmm. Leslie Youngblood (18:48.449) Mm-hmm. Leslie Youngblood (18:52.331) Mm-hmm. Heidi (19:06.766) as the personal brand, right? They're no longer want to be seen as this massive corporation that's, you know, they obviously they have ad agencies and, know, they have all those things, but the content that they're producing that is resonating with people features people, not one person, like so and so, think I saw something the other day, was staples or something. There's some... Leslie Youngblood (19:22.973) Yup. 100%. Heidi (19:32.397) woman that works at Staples who is like now like the Staples person, right? And like now now Staples is a person and a personality, right? And so it's showing that it's even important in corporate America too and how they're kind of circumventing that. So it's an interesting, it's an interesting trend and build, you know, building. Leslie Youngblood (19:40.437) Right? Wow. Leslie Youngblood (19:48.469) Yeah, I mean, yeah, it makes perfect sense. Heidi (19:54.649) Building live too seems to be the new thing to talk about is like building messy, building live, following along the journey, all that kind those are important and that's all storytelling tips. Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (19:57.546) Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (20:00.992) Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah, definitely. And I think also too, you've probably seen more than others, how is this? When women avoid visibility, there's so much that they miss out on primarily, financial opportunity, right? Talk to us about what we leave on the table financially by avoiding that visibility, Heidi (20:18.254) Mm. Financial, yeah. Heidi (20:31.028) Well, yeah, I think you said it correctly. Like finances is the number one thing. I did a post about a year ago that it moved me. don't know if it moved. Hopefully it moved other people too, but it was at the start of the election. just had just happened. you know, every woman I knew was pretty miserable, right? We were all pretty depressed. And so I had gone to my daughter was checking out a middle school. Leslie Youngblood (20:47.393) Mm-hmm. Leslie Youngblood (20:52.585) Mm-hmm. Heidi (20:58.734) And this particular school was an all-girls school. We ended up not going there for a variety of reasons, but it was an amazing school. And as you're walking through the halls, all of the doors had like signs of, know, names of like impressive women, right? They had a whole wall of it and they would like go, know, Cocoa Golf and Rosa Parks and you know, whatever, all these amazing, powerful women. And I realized more than ever that my kind of purpose. You sometimes I look at what I do, was like, I'm gonna do social media. You know, get my own head trip, probably. My ego is being mean to me, but I promise there's a circle back to this, which is that I realized that in this horrible climate that we're living in now, that there's a lot of ways that you can contribute. Leslie Youngblood (21:36.801) Sure, your ego is being mean to you. It shouldn't. Heidi (21:56.771) You know, you can protest, you can give money, you can do a lot of things, right? And I realized the best way that I could help women was to elevate their voice, create a platform for them, and help them make a shit ton of money. Because reality is, is freedom. It is flexibility. It is, I want to work and I want to have a baby and I want to be able to breastfeed my kid and, you know, go to the meats in the middle of the day or whatever. Leslie Youngblood (22:10.686) Amen. Leslie Youngblood (22:16.737) decisions. Heidi (22:25.742) Having that kind of flexibility and freedom honestly comes from money at the end of the day. I yes, you can talk about other ways that it can help. But to me, was like, money is the division here. so creating a personal brand, and that's obviously what I do, that became my sole purpose was I want to elevate as many women as I can because these women that I work with are climate activists and help Leslie Youngblood (22:35.819) Sure. Leslie Youngblood (22:45.163) Mm-hmm. Leslie Youngblood (22:52.449) Mm-hmm. Heidi (22:54.57) Alison Frigale, likeable badass, helping women speak up, make more money in the workplace, etc. All of these things help elevate other women. And so my goal was like, yeah, I could go and protest and do all of these things. All of those are important. But I realized like one to many, how can I help as many people as possible? And helping these women establish their platform and help them make more money. And then they give to women and causes. There's a ripple effect, long story short. Leslie Youngblood (23:08.001) Mm-hmm. Sure. Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (23:16.991) Right. Right. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Heidi (23:23.362) There's a ripple effect and that's how, that's why it's important to me and why helping women create their personal brand so that they aren't leaving money and opportunities and freedom on the table. That is like my sole goal. Long story. Leslie Youngblood (23:37.856) Yes, I love that. That is amazing. I love that story. Thank you for sharing. by doing that, a few things. One, we live in a capitalist society. So at end of the day, you're doing something for money or you're starting a business or a personal brand for what? To make money, flat out, right? There's facts, plain facts. But then two, the more money, the higher the, like the median is, the higher we can push that medium, right? Like the higher we can push it and get to, Heidi (23:46.687) Mm. Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (24:07.723) gender pay parity and all the things and like inspire other women and you're inspiring other women through their platforms and you're able to amplify that impact through the work that you're doing. And it is so easy in today's climate to feel powerless and to feel like what we do doesn't, not like it doesn't matter, but it's like, am I doing enough? Am I doing enough? What could I be doing? Is this important? We're never doing. Yeah. Heidi (24:15.894) Exactly. Heidi (24:30.488) We're never doing enough. And I think that that's also a woman's burden, right? Just systematically, we're never doing enough. I I have this to-do list, which you're gonna laugh. Every weekend I write this. Well, I used to have about 50 of them. This is like, I save them. I had about this much and I was like, this is literally toxic of a misuse to me. Leslie Youngblood (24:35.745) Shit, you're right! Shit! Yes! Leslie Youngblood (24:44.009) Yeah Leslie Youngblood (24:48.115) Beautiful. Same. Leslie Youngblood (24:57.089) This is this needs to stop self, please stop doing this. Right, right. But it's a beautiful thing, though, too. But it gets to be to want to do more and to feel like you want to do more to help others and uplift women. Uplift women. What a beautiful thing. But then it can become a toxic thing and bad detrimental to you, your own mental state and others when. Heidi (25:00.398) The list will never stop. I'm just a list taker, but yeah. Leslie Youngblood (25:21.755) you let it consume you and you don't feel like it matters. Every single bit of it matters. Like you said, it's a ripple. Like even the smallest pebble makes that ripple. And so what an important story and important mission for you and for us to know in our own lives that even those small things and you you can't do all the things that's impossible, but the lane that you are in and that you choose and that you feel called to do matters. And financially, especially for women to get that bag. Heidi (25:28.174) Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (25:50.506) make your money and like you said, contribute to the causes that you believe in, support the politicians that you think will make change, give to organizations that care for others the way that you want to care for others as well as to be able to pay the bills for your family. What a gift, money is a gift and I think sometimes too and I would love to hear your perspective on this where. Heidi (26:02.882) Exactly. Leslie Youngblood (26:12.801) You know, money is a taboo topic, I think, especially for women, and we feel guilty about wanting it or, you know, wanting to make it. But truly, you have to stop that because it's not just selfish for you. You making more money enables other women to make more money. Heidi (26:28.974) Well, I see behind you, you've got, you've got Tori Dunlap's book, right? Yeah. I mean, that book is, that book is great. I have another client, Steph Wagner, who wrote a book called Fly. It came out in November. And it tells the story about, she went through this. She was a very high powered executive in finance, in finance, right? So she knew, you know, she, I'm a designer, right? So I don't know all the finance things, right? But she knows all the financial stuff and gave up. Leslie Youngblood (26:32.415) Yeah, financial feminists. Leslie Youngblood (26:48.737) Mmm. Mmm. Heidi (26:57.24) her power, she would, you know, this is in her story. As she was, you know, they were raising three kids who was happily married or so she thought, and come to find out her husband was cheating on her. And then, you know, and also like was living this double kind of finance life, right? And so she had given up her job, you know, cautionary tale. know tale is old this time, right? Women give up their job to raise a family and there's no shame in that, right? Leslie Youngblood (27:17.556) Mmm. sure. Leslie Youngblood (27:26.398) No. Heidi (27:27.438) But the difference was she then obviously had to rebuild her whole financial life while also being a single mom to three boys, starting a new career over again, kind of in mid life. And she talks about in her book about how finance is freedom. And this is how, you need to know these, you need to know your numbers, you need to have your name on, you Leslie Youngblood (27:39.903) Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (27:51.903) Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Heidi (27:53.731) You need to have your name on the mortgage. You need to have your name on all those things because it's like you don't exist if you don't. And again, I'm paraphrasing here. I am not a financial person at all, but I know like with Tory Dunlap's book, really finances power. It gives you freedom. It gives you freedom. There's nothing wrong with that. Leslie Youngblood (27:59.04) Right? Sure. Leslie Youngblood (28:07.189) Yeah, definitely. It is, we fought. Yeah, and women fought for those opportunities to have a credit card, to buy a house, and not too long ago, yeah, not too... Heidi (28:15.662) It was just like 30 years ago or so. No, that it wasn't 30 years ago. It was a little bit longer than that, but 70s. Yeah. Yeah. So that's not that long ago. Leslie Youngblood (28:22.277) 70s maybe credit card. But I mean, not that long ago, not that long ago, which is wild, wild to think about. know, when it comes to men and women, we were raised with, you know, we were raised in a world where women just were able to get a credit card. And there's a lot of these traditional norms. And I think, you know, that, you know, from your perspective too, Heidi, can come down to the way that a man talks about Heidi (28:30.786) Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (28:49.481) His accomplishments. When a man posts about his, because they're raised to talk differently about themselves in the things that they do, not to say it's good or bad, we're just, and girls are taught a little bit differently. We're raised in different cultural framework. If a man posts about his golf score or an award, it's more normal. Why does it feel different for women, Heidi? Heidi (29:12.206) wish I had the answer to that. I'm not a psychologist, but I play one on TV. Yeah, I mean, think you mentioned, one of the things that I've noticed is, know, my clients tend to be women between, I'd say like, elder millennial, so like late, very late 30s, usually in the early 40s, and then up to about, I think my oldest client was about 65 or so. Leslie Youngblood (29:13.313) Get it! Leslie Youngblood (29:41.441) Mm-hmm. Heidi (29:42.447) it's the same thing again. It's the not, not braggy all of that. And I think we've just been, we've just been wired not to talk about ourselves in a way that we now, our society perceives as being braggy. And half of it too is not even, I've noticed a lot of it is not even necessarily, let me back up. Some of it is not necessarily the, the friction is not necessarily from my client. Leslie Youngblood (29:44.459) Okay. Leslie Youngblood (29:50.069) Mm-hmm. Heidi (30:11.608) but it is from their sphere of people. Like the husband, the friend, the friend. Do you know what I mean? Like all the people that are around you are also kind of going, and so you're carrying their shame or their feelings or whatever onto their shame. Yeah. And then now you have, and now it's like impacting. I am guilty of this myself. I am, I am, it is very hard for me to do Leslie Youngblood (30:25.065) Yeah. Yeah. They're shit. Of course. Heidi (30:41.922) videos even though I literally know what to say, I know what to do, I know how to do it, I can fancy edit it, I can do all the things. My strategist is like, can you please do some more videos? I'm like, yeah, yeah, So, I'll get to it, yeah. Leslie Youngblood (30:48.512) Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (30:53.652) Okay, I'll get to it. Listen, I'm sure Beyonce and Taylor Swift and Michelle Obama feel the same exact way and have chirpers in their orbit. It's not easy no matter who you are, right? But it's trying to keep going. is there, do have any tips or a practical way women can start building authority and kind of put that cringe or that chirping at bay, Heidi, that you suggest? Heidi (31:20.59) I mean, unfortunately it's like doing, just doing, just showing up. And you start, it's a muscle, right? You start to build that muscle memory. Going back to the social media side of things. And again, it doesn't have to be showing up on camera. It could be doing a daily blog post or one of our authors doesn't like to do social media at all. And we did her branding and her website. Leslie Youngblood (31:23.657) Mmmmm Heidi (31:49.387) She wrote this incredible book called Dog Medicine. It's a New York Times bestseller. She talks about having, her name's Julie Barton. I have so many J's, like Julie, Julianne. Julie Barton, anyway. So her book came out several years ago. Very powerful, very personal, deeply personal memoir about depression, like very severe depression, and how she got this amazing dog and the dog kind of brought her back to life. So especially if you like dogs, you'll. Leslie Youngblood (31:59.936) Yeah Heidi (32:19.16) you'll like this book. But anyway, the point is when we worked with her, she's a very quiet, shy person. So like her showing up on video is never gonna be a thing. But what she does do is she, because she's a writer, she uses the muscle that she's most comfortable with, which is writing. So she has a daily sub stack. She created this kind of plan for herself where she shares a poem every day. Leslie Youngblood (32:19.521) amazing. Heidi (32:48.256) So, you know, that's not a muscle I have possessed whatsoever, but like she does that every day and that's how she shows up. That's how she's establishing, you know, her own personal brand is through writing as one example. I think it really just, it is pushing through and repetition and surrounding yourself with people that are supportive. And I actually saw something the other day from one of the social media, like girlies that I follow that said, Leslie Youngblood (32:59.649) Mm-hmm. Leslie Youngblood (33:04.897) Mmm. Heidi (33:17.4) For example, if you're launching something and you don't want to hear the hide, like basically either tell them, go, I'm going to like either block you or mute you or, know, there's, there's things you can do in the backend, for example, of Instagram, where you can kind of hide, hide stories from people so that you are launching into the world without knowing, Leslie Youngblood (33:38.613) Mm-hmm. Leslie Youngblood (33:45.353) Mm-hmm. Yeah. Sure. Heidi (33:46.348) judging me and all this stuff. There's always going be judgment. But I think really it's the muscle memory of just showing up and doing, and it gets easier over time. It really does. Leslie Youngblood (33:55.414) Yeah, sure, right. if, what is the phrase where it's like, you only have haters if you have something to say or right? There's something where you're always gonna have haters or, but it's, people will hate on anything truly, right? Especially in the age of the internet, which again, what's that? Heidi (34:03.822) Yeah. Heidi (34:11.598) They're just jealous. That's always what I tell my kids. They're just jealous. You're doing it. Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (34:16.671) Yeah, they're jealous because they're not out there doing it or or what or like in the night, you've got to think like, man, what time do you got on your hands? You're going online and in judging on somebody or commenting like a mean comment on somebody thing like what? I feel bad for you, right? And if you kind of can like reframe, it doesn't make it easy. Still doesn't make it like easy until, like you said, you've got to do the reps. It's just like getting in shape or learning to cook or learning. It's a skill. Heidi (34:32.686) Thank you. No. Yeah. Heidi (34:44.654) I'm home. Leslie Youngblood (34:44.671) Right? Showing up for yourself is a skill. And when you look at it from that frame of reference, it feels, okay, I can, I can take a baby step. I can learn. Heidi (34:52.972) Yeah, yeah, really just just keep showing up and doing it and and I promise I promise it will get easier. I'm saying this also for myself, Heidi. I promise it will get easier. Same with podcasts like showing up on podcasts is very nervous for me. I could talk all day, but I'm like, am I making sense? Leslie Youngblood (34:59.393) Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, you're doing great. But right, you're doing great. I mean, but right, that's the thing is we can get in our heads about it and that can hold us back from living the lives that we're meant to lead and you have to do it scared and you just have to still do it. And you talked about yourself getting nervous, Heidi. Tell us too, how has your journey taught you and what has it taught you personally about Heidi (35:10.838) Just doing it. That's what editing is for. Heidi (35:21.015) Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (35:35.273) your own visibility and showing up for yourself. Heidi (35:37.134) I think... For me. Some of it is practice. Some of it is practice. definitely, know, practice makes practice makes progress. Not perfect. That's what I practice makes progress. I did. I learned that from like one of my clients. I can't remember who, but practice makes progress. So that's always a good. I say that to my, kids all the time. So like practice makes progress, like not perfection, but progress. Leslie Youngblood (35:52.807) Mmm, whoooo. Love it. Leslie Youngblood (36:05.567) Mm-hmm. Heidi (36:09.814) Surrounding myself with, you know, people that are supportive is definitely helpful. Tuning out a lot of the noise is helpful. Just re- My word of the year, let me back up. My word of the year is ready. And the reason why I chose that is because I've been creating this digital product, which I have still not launched. And half of it is because I find excuses. I get busy with client work. Oh my God, I'm going to have to show up. I have to do a webinar. All of these things that are like death to me. though, again, I can help a client do it. No problem. But like it's, know, Leslie Youngblood (36:27.103) Mmm. Leslie Youngblood (36:45.841) Hmm. Right. Heidi (36:52.92) Cobbler's children. And so I kept looking at all of the opportunities that I was missing. I could be making so much more money. I could be doing, you know, I could do, and I was like, this is bullshit. I like, I am seeing people that are nowhere near qualified, showing up, doing the things, throwing spaghetti on the wall, and they're just working through it and they're getting out of their own way. And that, that is the thing I am still. Leslie Youngblood (36:54.1) Yup. Leslie Youngblood (36:59.987) Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (37:10.591) Mm-hmm. Heidi (37:22.754) learning on a daily basis. But the difference is because I think I'm going through it on my own, it is helpful for me with clients because I am the cheerleader for my clients that I need for myself. That makes sense? Like I always say, we are your biggest cheerleader and we really are for our clients. We are like, and not in the fake way, like I'm girl, whatever. Leslie Youngblood (37:36.361) Yeah. Hmm... Yeah, totally. Leslie Youngblood (37:48.379) Right. Right. Sincerely. Heidi (37:49.647) Truly, like we find strategic ways to get them to show up online. Maybe they won't do camera, but they'll do a walking video or whatever, and we can throw some text or whatever. There's lots of unique ways, or not unique ways, but there's lots of ways that you can show up online and create visibility and authority and all that stuff. It doesn't necessarily have to be on camera. But I think because I live it every day, Leslie Youngblood (37:54.699) Mm-hmm. Leslie Youngblood (37:59.02) Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (38:10.794) Mm-hmm. Heidi (38:16.032) with my own insecurity and all of that, I very well see it in my clients and can like, we're not going there with that. We're not going there with that negative talk. It's very easy for me to translate that, like the girlfriend that would be supportive to you. I try to be that for my clients, but I guess I have to do it for myself too. Leslie Youngblood (38:21.706) Hmm. Leslie Youngblood (38:26.986) Sure. Leslie Youngblood (38:32.65) Mm-hmm. Leslie Youngblood (38:38.047) Yeah, right. Well, it makes you a better champion for your clients because you know what they're going through. It's that empathy, you know, feeling and yeah, totally, totally. Heidi, what's one bold move you'd like to see more women make this year? Heidi (38:44.332) Yeah, lived experience. Heidi (38:55.374) Well, create their personal brand. I don't want to say write a book because that is so much. I think just showing up online in whatever way feels the most authentic to them. Again, their writing, their photography, their creative work, you know, whatever. I'd love just for women to be online more and to be sharing their Leslie Youngblood (38:59.403) Mm-hmm. One. Leslie Youngblood (39:17.153) Mm-hmm. Heidi (39:26.968) thought leadership in a way that is unique to them. I know that's very vague. Like that doesn't feel like a very complete sentence, but yeah, think just showing up online, on video, but I can't always make people do that. Yes. Leslie Youngblood (39:36.29) It's simple and doable. Yeah. Yes. Well, you can get a digital twin, speaking of AI, if you don't feel like, or text or your voice. But I think that lends itself though, showing up online, I can hear people thinking now, my business isn't big enough, or this tight hustle, or I don't have enough to say. Heidi (39:50.913) Yep. Leslie Youngblood (40:02.601) If they feel too small, quote unquote, to take up space, what would you tell her, Heidi? Heidi (40:08.31) say you just you're not positioned yet. Doesn't just because you're small doesn't mean that you don't have a unique point of view. mean, there's been lots of, you know, viral stories of people like just doing what they do right out in the world. And then someone happens to capture it or whatever. But obviously, you cannot rely on going viral. And I never promised that to any client. But I think just knowing, knowing your story and creating, you know, that like, even if it's just a one Leslie Youngblood (40:12.001) Mmm. Heidi (40:38.262) liner of like I do I serve people I do X Y and Z and this is what makes me special and just kind of owning that so that when you're in those rooms with people that maybe are of influence that you know you come across as credible and trustworthy so yeah I would never say you're never too small everybody starts everybody starts from somewhere everybody starts from somewhere Leslie Youngblood (40:55.894) Mm-hmm. Leslie Youngblood (41:03.713) love that. You're never too small. Such a good reminder because again, and that's why I started this podcast because you see all the highlight reels and you think everybody's got it figured out and yet it's not true. They're just people with doubts and fears and struggles and they started small one day and what a great reminder and a great way to, you know, wrap up this fantastic conversation. I think that's Heidi (41:31.47) You're so fun to talk to. love you. Leslie Youngblood (41:32.385) Perfect advice. thank you so much. I know we could keep talking. I love it. And I'm so excited for you to share where our listeners can connect with you outside of this episode, Heidi (41:36.952) Bye. Heidi (41:42.138) wheel, is Spitfiregirldesign.com and Instagram is the Spitfire Girl. Leslie Youngblood (41:50.273) love it and we'll also drop those links in the show notes for everybody. Heidi, thank you so much for joining us today to talk serious lady business and how women can own their narrative, their power. Thank you. Heidi (41:55.456) Welcome. It's the best name, the way. When I told my friends, was like, I'm going on a lady business. Like, don't know. Leslie Youngblood (42:05.409) talking some serious lady business, but it's true, right? And, you know, and I just think that it is serious lady business and businesses can be serious. It can also be fun. But I think also to, to cut, you know, come back to this conversation where we think, why should I, what do I have to share? What do I have to say? What impact can I make? There's also a media, billions of mediocre. men out there doing things, right? Like that's also true when I tell myself. With all the podcast bros out there, like, no, we're gonna have a podcast. We're gonna talk some serious lady business. Every single conversation, every single connection matters, whether it's in life or online. And so I'm so grateful to you for joining us today to talk about that, because it's important and it matters. And the work you're doing is amazing. Thank you so much. Heidi (42:46.325) it was great. Thank you so much. It was great being on. Thank you. Okay, bye. Leslie Youngblood (42:53.483) Thank you, Heidi. Cheers.