Latest / Pod Therapy / #447: Therapist Fit, Chronic Illness, Pregnancy Brain

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#447: Therapist Fit, Chronic Illness, Pregnancy Brain · Pod Therapy

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Like that. Twenty dollars is worth it to me.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: I only have so much material that I can talk
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: with my friends about in a single evening, and I
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: can't burn all that in the lobby.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: You can't burn. That's that's terrible. That's that's not what
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: you want to not for you got Nicky, got the script?
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, oh excellent.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, problem five ulous, Las Vegas. Not all of this
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: is pod therapy, real people, real problems, and real therapists.
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: You can submit your questions anonymously at top theapy dot
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: net or email us at mop therapy guys that gmail
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: dot com and now broadcasting from your mom's studio. That's
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: with me. I'm doctor nick. It's time for some bod therapy.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: Hello everybody, I've been gone. If you would like to
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: see how tan I am patreon dot com slash therapy,
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: you can watch the YouTube version of the show. Spoilers,
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: no level and up. I'm darker, Okay, I am a
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: rotisseriear not dark you are You are not even this.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: You are not even a remotely different shade of white.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: My hands, honestly, my arms aren't because I was barely okay, well,
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: three shades darker than porcelain, So I'll take it. If
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: you'd like to hear about my trip to Cando Patreon
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: dot com slash therapy, you can hear all about it.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: I traveled the world and you've got to see it
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: to believe it.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: Him is the color note in the wedding industry, as
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: poor White, hear about my my stories of woe patron
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: dot com slash therapy.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: Also US customs, Fuck you, US customs the dumbest. Okay,
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: Mexico customs. Easy to get there. They just have their
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: little lines ready to go. They have video screens showing
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: you what to do, like they're doing it in every language,
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: but there's videos you know what to do. Everybody's like trilingual.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: They're sucking you through it. They're very organized, it's very official,
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: but you get in right through. Get home. We have
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: to go through customs because we're coming off in a
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: national flight, Vegas Direct, and so we get here back
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: to Vegas an hour long line just for the citizens,
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: two hours for anybody not from America. They have like
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: two people working there. And this isn't a red eye.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: It's business time, like on a Thursday. They have nobody
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: fucking doing it. You're waiting in this line for goddamn ever,
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: you get up to the front and you're like, Jesus,
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: I really hope we're gonna have a long conversation. You know,
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: why were you in Mexico? Sir? Were you affiliating with
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: any narcos? Do you have any drugs or weapons? You
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: know what? The only fucking question this lady asked me
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: do you have any fruit?
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: What is?
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: Why is that? Why are we so fucking scared as
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: the country there's gonna be like a fruit pandemic?
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: Did they smuggle in a goddamn pak. I think it's
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: the pandemics, Oh, that might be it. Think it's actual
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: pandemic markets, sir? You know, yeah, did you have fuck
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: any bats? You know, like these seem like relevant questions,
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: but all they give is shit about one question.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: Yea fruit? Are you carrying like smuggling apple?
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: If you want to have your constitutional rights, you have
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: to go through and get global entry at all the
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: other stuff?
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: Now, didn't you tell them for you?
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: Yes? But you know I travel once every twenty years
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: out of the country, So let me ask you this.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: If it was if this was the only time, Yeah,
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: and I told you that global entry would have taken
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: it from an hour and a half in line down
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: to you barely slowed down your walk and just walked
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: straight through.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: I didn't see a second line for global end. That's
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: because there's not a line. It's a quick facial scan
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: and you're through.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: There's no line, like it's literally just an area like
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: before you get to the line. Usually it's just a
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: little branch off area. There's usually like eight little facial
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: scanners and you just rock it through and you get
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: tsa pre check.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: Did they ask you about the fruit EXCLUSI there's one
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: pop up. That's the only thing anybody cares about.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: It's it's remarkable how bad traveling in this country is now.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I come back with stories and some amount of
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: tan uh and you know, no parasites. No. I did
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: not drink the water. I was very very careful, Like
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: I didn't even brush my teeth with the water. I
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: just didn't brush my teeth for to So I found
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: that that was the easiest way to avoid it. But
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: I was scared. I was scared to like eat fruit
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: or like salads.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: Uh.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they told us that in the resort everything's like filtered,
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: and so that was safe.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: But not the sink water. I always think that that's
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: total bullshit.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: What that that's filtered? Yeah, I don't know. I mean
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: you see them like getting ice delivered to like all
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: the bars and from the filtered ice. Man, are you
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: saying that I believed to lie? If I have Mexico Tom,
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: I'm going to be so upset.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: No, you know it by now, Okay, it's it's not
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: that you believe the lie. I think that they are filtering,
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: and I think that there's an effort.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: I think something is happening. I just think it's useful.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: But the alcohol and the drink maybe that's what I
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: believe that more than the other. I like that, so
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: just only drink alcohol.
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: Tell me that a Brita filter can solve all those problems,
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: I'm skeptical of that.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's all.
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe does it filter bacteria?
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: That's like, yeah, what what level of filtration do you
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: have to like get to to filter out the bacteria
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: that cause whatever the stomach issues that are caused by
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: Mexican drinking water.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know what that level is. But they
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: had a machine in the room that is a filtered
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: water machine. It's tied up to the water lone, and
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: so they tell you, like, hey, if you need fresh
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: water in your room or whatever, use this machine. And
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: they're like, and also we recommend using it to brush
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: your teeth and stuff like that too, And so that's cool.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: We just say, but like the first time you take
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: a shower, the first thing you do, right, you should
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: put your head into like it was one of those
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: like rain drop like ones. And the first thing I
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: do is like oh, and I'm like and I'm just
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: in there, like gulping fucking water out of the fucking shower.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh no, what have I done with
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: a snorkel of the shower. I couldn't help myself. It
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: just happened so fast. Ready water boarding himself signs up. Yeah,
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: So if you'd like to hear about the trip Patreon
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: dot com slash therapy. I want to remind you if
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: you'd like to. If you're the kind of person who
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: you know likes to watch you dirty girl, I know
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: you do. Patroon dot com slash therapy, the therapod leveling up.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: You can now watch us on YouTube and it's an
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: unregistered link and you can check it out and see
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: what Jacob's doing. Right now. It's a lot of fun.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: We've got some great questions for today's show. First one,
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: leading off the order, is my therapist a right fit
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: for me? Hi, guys, new listener, and I'm starting from
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: the beginning on episode eleven. Right now, let me start
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: with some reinforcement, uh, for y'all, because I feel you
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: need to be reminded that this podcast is a ten
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: out of ten at least for the yeah don't keep
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: going before we took on hard right turn. It provides
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: great insight on how mental health professionals think while also
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: educating listeners on the psychology behind the rationale. You make
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: the podcast relatable and entertaining with your humor, games and
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: different perspectives. Now onto the question. I've been in individual
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: and couple's therapy now for about eight months and I
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: took your advice on waiting three sessions to determine compatibility,
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: develop a therapeutic relationship, and see if the therapist has
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: a positive impact.
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: Sorry, you can't keep coming to couple's therapy by yourself,
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: but it's been three times.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: My first therapist I felt wasn't a great match as
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: we mostly talked on a casual level about unimportant subjects,
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: so I switched to seeing a different therapist for one
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: on one, which happened to be my marriage counselor. I
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: was against the idea of doing that because I didn't
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: want to create any bias and wanted a different perspective
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: and therapy, but they were more convenient than a different one.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: My question is, how do you determine if a therapist
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: is the right fit for you? Because I'm on the
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: fence about it with mine. They are well experienced as
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: a professional, and I value their opinion, but there are
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: some criticisms that I do have that I feel could interfere.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: What does a good relationship with your therapist look like?
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: How do you determine if they're making a positive impact?
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: Thinks Anonymous. I wish they would have said what their
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: reservations are.
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: I know I was wondering. I have some criticisms could interfere,
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: but I won't tell you what.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: I barely qrection barely. There's one share in the room
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: where I don't know. I have to sit on the
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: reverse cowgirl, you know, every time I walk into the room,
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: every single time, she wipes off her mouth and says,
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: I'm just getting your seat read.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: She does that joke every.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: Time, and she's a great fit. It's a great fit.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: Love it would have loved the reservations on this one,
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: I know, but there's a great question.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: The end of our first visit, she literally said to me,
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: I can't wait to work with you some more. I'm
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: really looking forward to sucking every ounce of depression.
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: Out of you.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: And then she did the signal where she like pretended
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: to hold a dick in one hand and moved the
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: inside of her cheek with her tongue.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: Yes, And that's how you know it's a good fit, right, Yeah,
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: thanks for writing in.
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, I'm sorry, but Jacob just reminded me
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: of this funny moment when I had yes with that motion.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: If you watch.
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: One of my best friends from childhood, her and her
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: husband were saying the night for like a few nights
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: with us, and so the first night, she wakes up
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: the next morning and Peter and the husband are about
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: head into town. So they're about to head out the
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: door and my friend looks over because she didn't want
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: feel embarrassed, she forgot her toothbrush and like had brush
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: your teeth and literally goes, hey, babe, don't forget the like,
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: we're all like, so I'm making it.
• 10:10
  Speaker 4: We can wait, just described and did just.
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: Yourself, bob blowdrop motions and all her husband just wide
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: eyed stairs.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: Did she do tongue in cheek with the motion, because
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: that's too much.
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: That's definitely not Don't forget when you go in town.
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: Remember, don't forget whenever you brush your teeth. To get
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: underneath the carriage there, you got to really cut the balls.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: Because the actor used to be an absent and it
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: was a woman in a gorilla costume, she would she
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: would enter the inner at the beginning of her act
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: in a full head to toe gorilla costume. And the
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: host was on stage one night and forgot what act
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: was coming on stage next.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it happens, you know everybody, there's a lot of them.
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And so goes I, I don't know what an
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: act is coming up next. I forgot and what act
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: it is and turns and there is an usher who
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: is standing there, and the usher, uh to being being helpful,
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: beats her chest, Oh yah la a gorilla, yes, giving
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: giving him the hint like, oh, it's the gorilla coming
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: up next. But this this usher was in a bit
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: of shadow and so the host could not see, uh
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: what the usher was signaling yeah, And so the the
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: music started, the act comes out and the host walks
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: off stage and walks over to me and goes, who
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: who was that usher? I don't like, should I be pissed?
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: What was that? And I'm like, what what are you
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: talking about? What are you pissed about? What's what's wrong?
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: And he goes, I was trying to remember the name
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: of the act. I couldn't think of it, which, you know,
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: who cares and like they're not supposed to help me here,
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: and like that's not their job. But she just did
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: the motion of like jerking off two dicks all over
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: her face instead of just helping.
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: That is helping at there's.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: No context that that was not helpful from a gorilla.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: And then of course he was just so embarrassed.
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: I definitely thought she was just telling me to go
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: chark off some dicks.
• 12:17
  Speaker 4: You go to hell k off dicks along.
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: The way the act telling me to go ark off
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: a bunch of dicks.
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: That was really distracted.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: I've never in my life seen that body language used
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: to insult a person. You know what, you're in a
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: bad show tonight. Look crazy.
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but now that you do it, now that you
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: just did it on camber, you kind of feel it,
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: don't you.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: I do? Yeah, yeah, just a very aggressive thing. You
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: think you could do that motion while driving? Somebody cuts
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: you off in traffic and you go, hey, I did
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: do a good thumbs down.
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: I gave somebody a good thumbs down like this and
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: really pissed them off, just boo, because they were like,
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: like I put it was one of those where like
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: I put my turn signal on and then he tried
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: to speed up to cut me off, but I was
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: already I was already in and then he like pulls
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: up in the lane next to me and is like
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: mad dog in me, and.
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: So I did. I just looked at him.
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: I was like and I gave him like come on man,
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: and gave him like the thumbs down.
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: Like I'm disappointed in you. It feels like you're not
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: going to make me.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: Feel upset whatever I'm not gonna happen or the three
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: click girl. Yeah, I just give the thumbs down.
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah that's funny, okay.
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: Well, or maybe I have on occasion just hysterically laughed
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: at people, okay, and that that is a lot of
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: fun as well, biggest great, but they're really mad and
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: you're just laughing.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: That's that is, Oh yeah, that's that's enraged. You might
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: get shot. You really might get longs thumbs down. People
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: won't pull out the guns. But now you know you're
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: either laughing at me or doing the double jerk off
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: on your face that some gun thems fighting words pull over, Okay,
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: we duel it down.
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: I mean you say that the economy keeps going the
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: way it's going. People who are able to jerk off
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: to people. At the same time, those people are going
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: to be in the catbird seats, the catbird seat.
• 14:23
  Speaker 4: What's that?
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: Come on, Texas?
• 14:26
  Speaker 4: The catbirds catbird seat.
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: Sounds like you're saying Cadsbury.
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: Catbird seat, or it could be a Cadbury seat and
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: we're just a chair where they bring you Cadbury eggs.
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: I like that both equally positive things.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: Okay, only good, only good metaphors. A question.
• 14:46
  Speaker 4: I think that's a question about.
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: So basically, how do you decide if your therapist is
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: a good fit? And I like this question because I
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: feel like there is there are a lot of criticisms
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: that I see around therapists. I see this on Reddit,
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: I'll see it, or like on threads. Now there's like
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: therapist threads on your personal reviews. Yeah those weeks, I
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: just delete those. Yeah, they'll never teach me how Yeah,
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: oh do you have a lot of them?
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: I have one on Google that is pissing me the
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: fuck off. I've never met this person in my life
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: and they gave me one star and when I click
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: on their profile they live in like Virginia or something
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: like who. I tried to complain into Google, and Google's like,
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: of course you did.
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: It. Probably was a client. They just don't want you
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: to know.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: It's then complain to the Internet, and the Internet didn't
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: do it. I wrote a strongly worded letter, okay, sent
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: it to Google.
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: But this is a good question because how do you
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: know when it's like, oh, this is really like could
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: be a helpful therapist even if they're not perfect, versus saying,
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: you know, oh this isn't a good fit, let me
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: go find someone else, and it just gets worse or
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: it's not not like great. And my opinion is if
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: you're I think you kind of answer this for yourself.
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: You find you decide if your therapist is helpful for
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: you or not. And what I've heard before from like
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: friends or family who've gone to therapy and we talk
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: about it and their experience, because I do like to
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: ask them, like, what do you find helpful or not
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: helpful when you've been to therapy, Like I'm very curious
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: because they'll tell me the truth. And I think I've
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: heard that even if a therapist wasn't like a really
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: great fit, they were just like a pretty good fit
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: if they were really going through something at the time
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: and just needed to talk someone to somebody. By the
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: time they've built that trust up, they will find value
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: in those sessions. So for example, like one of my
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: friends mentioned once that they wish they could have gone
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: deeper into certain issues, but they got a lot of
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: really great coping skills from that therapist, So like there
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: are things that irked them, but they got enough out
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: of it that eventually they stopped going after like a
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: year or so, and they were like, that's that's what
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: I got, And they found a much better therapist later
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: on when when they started looking again a couple of
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: years down the road. But yeah, so I guess I
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: think that it's okay if you feel like you have
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: a good relationship with your therapists and you get something
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: out of it, I think it's worth staying. I also
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: would say talk to your therapists whatever those reservations were
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: that you were having. Maybe like we've said that on
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: here before, like.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you can bring it up. I think that a
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: lot of people are afraid to. I mean if it
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: can't be changed, if it's something like well I dislike
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: that you don't have kids, It's like, oh, okay, well
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: I can fix that tonight if you need me to.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: I mean, like nine months, Like I just I really
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: want to keep you as a client, so let me right,
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: yeah exactly. So, like you know, if it's not something
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: you know, unchangeable about who you are, if it's a
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: style thing, I think it's okay to discuss that. But like,
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: I like your point here because I believe in the
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: research the best predictor of therapeutic outcomes is the therapeutic relationship,
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: and and there are qualities that the best therapists do
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: have that seem to just this is like we can
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: categorically see that in the research that the best therapists
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: do have certain approaches and certain things they do, and
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: some of them I teaches to my grad students, Like
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: they tend to be optimistic, They tend to instill hope.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: They tend to have accurate empathy, right they can they
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: learn to read you and to understand like what you're
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: really trying to say. They generally are supporting you positive regard,
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: going back to like Carl Rogers, you know, kind of perspectives,
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: so like there's a lot of that humanity that that
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: seems to be the core element. And I don't know though,
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: because I I think for me, the last time I
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: had to go find a therapist for myself, I relate
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: to the writer a little bit. I was shocked and
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: I guess kind of horrified at how bad everybody was.
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: And I thought, is this a me thing? Is this
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: me being pretentious? Like because I'm not.
• 18:38
  Speaker 4: It's rough out there. It was really rough and it's challenging.
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: Even though one therapist I saw that I ended up liking,
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: I still was like I wish there was a little
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: more there.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I can mean more meat on the bone, like yeah,
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: just a person after person. And I started my search thinking,
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: let me go for somebody who has the resume, like
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: go for the best on paper person. That's what I
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: want to go with first and see if I can
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: find somebody that, like, you know, they would win Jeopardy
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: at this like they're really good, right, and they just
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: had no personality. And like here I am in the
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: way I communicate is you know, I think I'm really expressive.
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: I'll use humor, and I need you to be able
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: to come with me on that and figure out when
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: I'm deflecting with my humor and figure out when I'm
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: expressing with my humor. Figure out me, right, And like, boy,
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: this person would just stare and just awkward silence, and
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: I'm like I wasn't wearing pants, you know, so like
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: that's on me, that parts on me things. Yeah, but
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: in my defense, it wasn't in the informed consent that
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: there was a dress code. Okay, so I.
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: Come in be comfortable.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm paying to be here, okay, So like I
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: need to let it all breathe and you know, so
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: I was a little upset, but yeah, that's right because
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: of the tam. I just I'm scared of the sun,
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: you know. But the boys they need to breathe. But
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: it was indoors, so but no, like just silence and
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: just like okay, and like after like try and I
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: follow my own advice. I try this multiple times, but
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: at the end you're just like, I don't want to
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: go back, No, I don't want to talk.
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: To you work harder to get you to do your
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: job than me, Like, I know I do have to
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: work in session.
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: But especially get the only one doing the work.
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, we're working together.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: So and I think that that's one of the things
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: that goes back to the therapeutical poor is whenever that
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: person vibes with you, has this ability to sort of
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: hear what you're not saying and drag it out of you.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: And like at the end of a session, you feel
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: like you did some emotional yoga. You feel like, wow,
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: I tapped into some stuff. They got me talking about
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: some things. They led me in some curious new directions.
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: I'm walking out with new questions, new thoughts. That was
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: this is engaging. That to me is a good you know,
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: therapeutic alliance.
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: What do you think about the same therapist as doing
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: couples work.
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: With Yeah, so we have talked about this in a while,
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: but generally speaking for the audience, therapists like to wear
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: one hat so at a time. Yeah, So if you
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: come to us she's got hers on and patronon dot
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: coms last therapy, you can find out what the bucket says.
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: Ye read that, let me tell you right now, you're
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: just gonna disappointed. So yeah, I wonder if they can.
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: By the end, Okay, that's right, I'll go to the camera.
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: Costs extra, I think, so I think they can thank you. Yeah,
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: they'll get it. It's definitely related geography. But yeah, so
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: like generally we like to wear one hat. Are we
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: the individual counselor or are we the couple counselor? And
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: that's because of our alliance, Like we need to know
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: who the patient is, who am I advocating for? Right,
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: And so what I tell couples all the time is, hey,
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: if you're here's a couple, the relationship is my patient.
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: And I don't mind meeting with each of you individually,
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: but it's in service of the relationship direct it's not
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: going to be your session.
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: Then it's it's right.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: And I'll warn them for privacy sake too, like, hey,
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: you know, missus Johnson, if you come in and tell
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: me you're hiding money from your husband, or you fall
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: in love with the coworker or something like that, my
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: patient is the relationship, so like I can't keep those
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: kinds of secrets, right, but if you're my individual patient,
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: I will keep that secret. And so like there's all,
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: but you have to be very clear about what hat
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: you're wearing, because sometimes you'll be working with somebody individually.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: I'll be like, Hey, my spouse is going through something. Yeh,
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: I've gotten a lot from you. Can I bring them
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: into the next session and just talk through something together? Okay,
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: But as long as it's clear to that visitor you're
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: a guest. My patient is your wife. You can't ask
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: me about things she has said. And like, if we're
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: meeting for any amount of time without her, I don't
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: owe you anything, right, Like it's so I'm always really
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: really careful with like privacy settings and like who is
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: my patient and like what's my allegiance. I don't hate
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: the writer saying, and I think this is really common.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: Like I had a good couples counselor. I got along
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: with that person, I decided to branch off and do
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: individual work. I don't know how you run this whitney,
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: but for me, my policy is I will do that
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: only if we switch gears entirely. So that means we
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: are discontinuing couple's work and we are beginning your individual work,
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: or we are meeting individually. But my patient is still
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: the relationship. And that is why Jim got this one
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: star review. Fuck you found it. Ah, you found it.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: She didn't even leave a review.
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: There's no review.
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: She just left it. There's just one star. I tried
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: to flag it. I tried to flag it as racist.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: I was hoping that somehow Google would pay attention.
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: I think I may have not gotten that that woman
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: has left five Google reviews in her in her Google
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: reviewing capacity.
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah she no.
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: No, there is a there is a credit union, there
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: is an apartment rental agency, and then a clothing store.
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: It's her name Karen.
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: Her name does not appear to be Karen. No.
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: She has given four five star reviews and one one
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: star review in her reviewing visits.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: Whoever you are, I'm so upset. You are a hero,
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: actual buck you lady. No, my name would be on it. Yeah, yeah,
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: Jacob would absolutely be.
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: I did this. Jim would be trying to get it
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: off there. There would just be a picture of me
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: doing like the Buddy Christ pose.
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: This is happening. So, yeah, what is your opinion on
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: if you're working with a couple and then member of
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: couple says, hey, I don't want to go through the
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: whole process again. You already know me, you know my backstory,
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: you know my spouse. That's really vital to understanding me.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: I want to do some side work. I'm going through
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: some other stuff, or I have some trauma stuff. How
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: do you how do you navigate that?
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: No?
• 24:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I wouldn't. I wouldn't do that either. They would
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: have to go find a different.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: You refer out.
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: But this was already because the couple's counselor was already
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: second choice. There was another, there was another therapist already
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: and they didn't match well. And so so we're on
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: therapist number two. Yeah, for solo work already.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: And now they have the reservations about this personal So
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: you're talking about it from kind of your kind of
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: your kind of ethical standpoint and how you want to
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: do business.
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: What should the writer though, do from the patient standpoint? Yeah,
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: And my first thought is if the therapist says it's cool,
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: go with it.
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that might be their thing, and like.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: It might be their thing, it also might just be
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: that they don't anticipate a lot of crossover and the
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: type of solo work that you're doing.
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: I'll fucking know, but I'm I mean, if they'll allow it.
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: I don't think that the patient's doing anything wrong.
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: But the writer's asking kind of like, how do I
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: determine if this is a good fit?
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: I would suggest like, give the benefit of the doubt
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: at least for the first few sessions. Yeah, and go
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: in there, do your side of it and see if
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: they do their side of it, which.
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: So far writer seems to be trying. I mean, I
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: don't know if you ask this question in your intake sessions,
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: but you know, you'll usually ask like have you done
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: therapy before? Right, and so you're getting that history. But
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: anytime they're like, yes, I've seen other therapists. The next
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: question I want to ask, or one of my wrap
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: up questions usually, Hey, can you tell me what was
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: working and not working? Yeah? What does work? What doesn't work?
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: What do you prefer? What have you learned about yourself
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: in therapy? You know, are you a person who likes homework?
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: Do you like reading exercises? If I give you those things,
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: amy wasting your time? You know, and you're going to
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: come back and feel ashamed and now you're of me
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: because you didn't have your homework, Like what works for you? Right,
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: And a lot of times one of the common refrains
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: at all here is they'll say, I want a therapist
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: who's gonna challenge me. My last one just sat there
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: and yes ended me and like I just felt like
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: I was just talking about sports. Whatever the fuck I
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: felt like, And I want somebody's gonna hold my feet
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: to the fire. Who's gonna challenge me, He's gonna work me.
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: And it's funny because that same person never does what
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: I give them. No, I'll be like, okay, and like,
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: after ten fifteen years of this fucking profession, I'm like,
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: cool is the champion. Yeah, sure, that's what you think
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: you want.
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: That's everybody for everything.
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: Everybody. That's what you think you.
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: Want, what you actually want, and what you need to
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: make you satisfied.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: But those are three different things. Yeah, And I would
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: argue it's the therapist's job to hear that and go great,
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: what I'm hearing is you'll want to see change, and
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: you feel like you're ready to do something about that.
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: Now I'm going to get to know you and hopefully
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: guide you into that. So when we have a patient
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: like this, who's saying, look, I'm at this sticking point.
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: I'm at that juncture. I'm not sure whether to keep
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: going with this person because I do have a little
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: bit of a issue with them, and there's some pros
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: but there's some cons. Or do I play the field again?
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: What is your general advice on that? Or how do
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: you know when that decision it's time to make that decision.
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: That's so tough because I think what happens when we
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: start seeing a therapist. We are when we decide, hey,
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: maybe I don't want to see this therapist anymore. It
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: feels overwhelming to start the search again. You're like, oh,
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: where am I going to? Look? How do I decide?
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: The bush?
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like the cat and the bird thing, at least
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: she gets it, I got so yeah, I think that.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: She doesn't got it. Actually, I'd like to retract my
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: previous comment.
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: So yeah, I think that it can just feel overwhelming
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: to try and dive back in. But gosh, how do
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: you decide that. I don't know. I'm a lazy bitch,
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: So I'm like, I'll just stick it out. Really not
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: nice to see you again exactly, like, yeah, pretty much.
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: But I do think it could be worth it, especially
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: if this was your couples counselor to this writer in particular,
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: it could be worth trying to go play the field
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: again because you've met with them for couples, you met
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: with them for individual Again, we don't really know what
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: the issues are, but that seems like you probably have
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: a pretty good feel for them, and if you're questioning that,
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: it might be worth going and looking.
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: I think my advice used to be get back in
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: the market if you feel like your progress has stalled
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: and you feel like we've tried things. I'm a big
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: fan of communicating that, like I want thought to tell me, Okay,
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: I feel like we're stalling, you know, and great, I
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: want to revisit the conversation of what you want.
• 28:51
  Speaker 3: I've had clients, not a lot, but a couple really
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: direct ones for like, and they've had a lot going on.
• 28:55
  Speaker 3: They will acknowledge like, hey, I no, we had to
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: kind of go off onto like what's going on, kind
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: of hold down the fort. But once we have a
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: session where we're kind of like, oh, okay, nothing, no fire,
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: no fire. We didn't put on any fires today, like.
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: Now we can get settled.
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: Then the next session they'll be like, can we jump
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: back into like that, you know, deeper work, or we're like,
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: oh yep, great, and oh you know what, I really
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: want some homework to do, so can we do that.
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: I'm like a new therapist out there. A really important
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: skill that's one of the eight great traits is the
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: ability to constantly orient the patient toward their goals to
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: help it. We call that focus, but the ability to
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: sort of say, like you just exemplified there, like Okay,
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: something's happening right now, and I'm bringing my attention to that,
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: but I also want you to know that I'm not
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: forgetting where we need to go, and I know how
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: to steer you back to that when it's time. And
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: I also know how to show you with signposting where
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: I've seen you make incremental progress, because that really would
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: show up right now, like if that therapist was doing
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: that for the writer, the writer would be like, I
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: think I am making progress, like they've they've been highlighting
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: things that I'm working on in progress and change I'm
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: making like I'm gonna stick with it. But apparently that
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: therapist isn't doing that very well well, And so now
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: this person is like where are we and they need
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: a map and like the therapist holds the true map.
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: Now this is the obligatory part where our friend Nick
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: would show up and start talking about treatment plans.
• 30:10
  Speaker 4: This is this is where.
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: Nick shows up and goes play words. What Usually there's birds.
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: Oh you said words. I thought you said bird birds too.
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: You know, I don't want to be exclusion they have right, yeah, Idaho,
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: it's equally pointless. Writer. I think progress has stalled. Then
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: that's whenever I think you go back into the river.
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: But I think for me, the last couple of times
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: that I've been in the market looking for a therapist,
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: I've been stunned at the lack of talent, the lack
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: of professionalism. I'm worried sometimes for the profession.
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: There's a lot of lost hope.
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: My student. I think my students are up in comers.
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: I think they're all really talented. But like a lot
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: of the folks, especially veterans, like a lot of times
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: you say I'm going to take a really experienced person.
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: They know what they're doing, and I'm with them, and
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: to be like this is how are you still employed,
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: and I think, like, is that how bad the market
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: is that? Like you're doing well? Like, fuck me, this
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: is terrible. So sometimes I'm like, look, if you've got
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: somebody that you can actually work with and you don't
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: fucking hate them, stick with it, like that might be weird.
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: How do you feel about And have you ever had
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: a patient come to you and just say I don't
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: feel like we're making progress.
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: I've had that happen. Yeah, people, I like it on me,
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: I think it's normal for them. For I'll agree. So
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: I won't say no, you you are You're wrong. I
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: won't gas like them. I'll say, sounds like you're feeling stalled, right,
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: let's talk about what's stuck right So for me, that's
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: a great revisiting session to be like, great, this is
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: great data. What are you noticing? Where are you feeling
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: that you're stuck right now? What's something that you've identified
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: that you want to work on that we're not getting
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: any forward motion on? Because that's a solution focused opportunity.
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: Yes, it invites them to share, like, well, I wish
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: And this still isn't even a criticism on the therapist
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: in my opinion, But they might say something like I
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: wish you would have asked more about blah blah blah
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: and oh I didn't know. But it's a great way
• 32:12
  Speaker 3: for them, always a.
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: Reframe to the positive. Thank you for teaching me that. Yes,
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: now I know.
• 32:16
  Speaker 4: That's okay to focus on that, right.
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: And you know, I've had people come to me with
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: their reservations too and say, yeah, I'm disappointed. I really
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: thought you were going to do more of this or that.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: Of course, it's a rookie move is to get defensive
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: and be like, oh, you know I did do that.
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: You didn't know. You just go, hey, thank you for
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: this huge feedback. Our relationship thrives on honesty and transparency.
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: I need more of this. Let's draw up a treatment
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: plan and like, how do you knicks back? So, yeah,
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: I think you can say.
• 32:45
  Speaker 3: The word treatment plans some wings.
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, every time Nick just got a bone or wherever he.
• 32:55
  Speaker 4: Is he doesn't even know why, he's confused, Well.
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: That goddamn sallos. He's always taken and m's dis guy. Anyway, writer,
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: thank you for this, good luck on that, and uh,
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: you know, I think that if you're enjoying the show
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: so far, stop, I think that it's just it only down.
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: There's no way. Twelve is the beginning of the end. Yeah,
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: it's right, we really peak at three. What do we
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: figure out when you first show up? I think it's
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: like sixteen.
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: Or something, sixteen or fourteen.
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you show up in the first twenty episodes, so
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: I'm excited for the writer to bump into that. That'll
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: be fun too. Anyway, we are going to take a
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: quick break and when we come back, we're talking about
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: living instead of just surviving. You're listening to pod Therapy.
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: Today's episode is brought to you by Judy Schneider, Lee
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: and Casab, Carolyn Albert, Sammy Scoop, Sarah Smith, Mike Helm,
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: Jarreny Cunningham, Brady Malachik, Max Ginger, Scoop Elly o'dair and
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: Amy Ardvark and Edgar Allan Poe. Do you want to
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: sponsor the show? Become a therapy producer at Patreon dot
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: com slash therapy. Well, my friends, it's time to play
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: the game that I invented at the All inclusive adults
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: only Mexicana. I invented a game because I met a
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: lot of people h and I started asking myself some
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: questions about the people I was meeting, and I wondered,
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: could my friends figure out the difference between these quotes.
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: Today's game is called is this a quote from a
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: Midwest fifty ish couple or a swingers couple?
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: You met all these Okay?
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: I met lots of people in the pool. You just
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: sit around in the pool. So I'm gonna read you
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: a quote, okay, and it's just swingers or fifty something
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: Midwest couple. Jim, get that out of the person. Not
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: an option, all right. So I'm going to tell you
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: at the end, I'm going to keep track with what
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: whether you're swingers or whether you were Midwestern. Whitney first
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: ones for you, Okay. So these aren't exact quotes, they're
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: descriptions of conversations. They ask for your phone number so
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: they can connect with you later at the resort.
• 34:53
  Speaker 3: Later at the resort. That's some shit My dad would
• 34:56
  Speaker 3: do at a resorts, and he's not a swinger. As
• 34:59
  Speaker 3: far as I'm going to go with Midwestern.
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: False, it was Whitney's dad who is definitely a swing.
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: He definitely I had a lot of sex. Okay, So
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: your your vote on that one is Midwest. Jacob you
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: gotta concur you're gonna take You think that's midwesterners, You
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: think that's a swing of It feels pretty Midwest? Okay, Okay.
• 35:15
  Speaker 3: They want to hang out, Yeah, they want to be
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: best friends, to go together, all right, and then said.
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: How awkward would it be if we found out that
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: I had had sex with Whitney's dad at some point?
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: My dad looks great for his age.
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: Not disagreeing.
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: I enjoyed the congratulation, That's all I'm saying.
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: I didn't say it'd be awkward for me, all right.
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: I enjoyed every bit of it, all right. So that's
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: that's the first quote I'm going to give the the
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: answers here at the end of the Midwest on number one,
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: got it? Second quote, well, not quote, but a description.
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: They pull off their phone and show you a video
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: of their upgraded hotel room, which has been upgraded to
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: the Presidential Suite and now has extra beds and a
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: uh entire living room, and they invite you over for
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: a room party. Midwest couple.
• 36:06
  Speaker 3: God, I mean, it's probably that I'm gonna get swingers.
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: It's hard to tell. It's hard to write.
• 36:14
  Speaker 3: Why this room?
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, come over for a room party.
• 36:18
  Speaker 4: Meet at the part of our room.
• 36:19
  Speaker 3: You don't meet in your room, got to.
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: Put a towel down. Okay. So you're going swingers on this, okay,
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: and you're going Midwest. I'm Midwest. You think that's still
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: a fifty West? All right? We can go at that
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: third one. Last quote for the round, they tell you
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: a story about the last time they were at an
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: all inclusive resort where they met young adults who they
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: are still friends with to this day.
• 36:42
  Speaker 3: That feels midwestern again to me.
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm three for three. You're going all Midwest. Okay,
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: now you're Midwest on the first one. Can I get
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: your number? And oh, the last time we were at
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: a resort, we made great friends with younger all shy,
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: stay in touch with them. So they're like, yeah, we
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: stay in touch with them.
• 37:03
  Speaker 3: My dad does this ship. He's like, we met these
• 37:05
  Speaker 3: people on in Mexico and like dusties with them. I'm like,
• 37:09
  Speaker 3: how do you stay friends with people you meet on vacation?
• 37:11
  Speaker 3: That's so, But he's a social butterfly, all right, And
• 37:14
  Speaker 3: again maybe a swinger, but I don't think so.
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: Stay friends with people that I see regularly?
• 37:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah, thank you?
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: Those people that are in a different country.
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: Yes, that you just met at a resort.
• 37:24
  Speaker 3: I'm finding out my dad's swing.
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: There are people that I see all the time that
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: I definitely don't stay in touch with.
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: All right, So yeah, so far we're doing pretty good.
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna give your answers at the end because we've
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: got some more quotes. But yeah, this is a This
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: is a good debate, I think because I definitely was
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: scratching my head for a lot of the trip.
• 37:42
  Speaker 3: Was a swinger.
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no, it's very clear. Yeah, so these
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: are it's an adult only, it's an adult only resort.
• 37:48
  Speaker 4: That's half the battle.
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so these are people are conversations that I'm happy
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: and then eventually it's clear. And then you're looking back
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: and you're like, oh yeah, so now I'm registering that's
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: what I feel exactly. Get there. Yeah, we're gonna get there.
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: We're going to get there. Second question for today's show,
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: Living instead of just Surviving from anonymous high pod Therapy crew.
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: Long time listener, first time writer. I always love it
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: when we get a first timer. Very cool to pop
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: your pod cherry.
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: My wife has been in and out of Podcherrape.
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: We could make a shirt out of it. Oh, by
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: the way, we had to shut down the fucking merch
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: store because people were buying things and it was hella
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: suspicious because Nick and I text Nick and I'm like, dude,
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: people are buying things from the store and he's like, no,
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: that's like never happened. So we check it. We're like,
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: this is definitely fraud. There's just like purchase purchase, purchase, purchase,
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: And it was all the sticker from twenty twenty two
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: when I won the Best Las Vegas Award, just one sticker,
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: which is sells for like two dollars and shipping and
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: handling is like six dollars.
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: What's the fraud And just.
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: Like we don't know, but like something's up because so listen,
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: if you went to pod therapy baitshop dot com, I
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: think is what it's called.
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: Why wait, you were selling things of the store.
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: Nobody ever buys anything. So your solution was to yes.
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: Because it scared us. We were like, what the heck
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: is going on?
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: Why would losing his mind?
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: It was like seven purchases in the span of a
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: week and they were like the same sticker and it
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: was one of the stickers also who we had never
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: heard of. Like, so we know every listener by name,
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: like people that.
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: Would buy the sie right here that just wrote in.
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: A lot of them do go by anonymous. I guess
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: that doesn't much.
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: I would not have done a single thing.
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: I I alert Nick because he's in charge of the store,
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, hey, man, I feel like there's some
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: suspicious activity. I'm seeing the same sale purchase.
• 39:58
  Speaker 4: There's purchases, was me.
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: He was like, Nope, something's wrong. We're so we turned
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: off the entire store.
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: It is gone.
• 40:05
  Speaker 3: Jacob is now gone.
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: We will open it once a year and we will
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: probably try to roll out new things. So your window
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: of opportunity is closed. All of you who took all
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: that time and meant to do.
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: Something, say the person had an evil master plan? Uh
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: huh that involved by these seven stickers.
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: Yes, it wasn't the same person though, seven different people.
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: It's weird. Seven people, different people.
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: What's the worst case plot? I don't know that has
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: now been foiled.
• 40:34
  Speaker 3: I need someone in discord to say what something you know?
• 40:37
  Speaker 3: And it's like there's a scam, but you can't figure
• 40:39
  Speaker 3: out what the scam is. Like I need somebody to
• 40:41
  Speaker 3: tell me.
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: What suspicious enough that we were like, no, it is
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: little weird.
• 40:45
  Speaker 3: I guess there's different.
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: But for the sake of science, Yeah, to turn the
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: store back on.
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: Even starts again. So Nick not only turned off the store,
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: he also rigged it in the back ends that went
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: it does reopen, it will now be password protected and
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: the only way that you can shop at the stores
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: if you actually listen to the podcast and you get
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: the password. So we are bad at this.
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: I do with every piece of merch that we put
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: out is try to figure out, like, how can I
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: make people who don't listen to the podcast also want
• 41:21
  Speaker 2: to buy this.
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: We are the exact idea. If you want merch from
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: pot Therapy, you better fucking earn it. Okay, we need
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: to know you're a member of the community. We know
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: you personally. You need medicine person in Las Vegas. Is
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: the only way, it's the only way you're getting any
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: of our show. You should go over.
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: If you said that you don't have the Pot Therapy
• 41:38
  Speaker 2: bait and tackle shop to go to anymore, that's right,
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: head on over to Hey scoops dot com slash shop
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: you can buy show. You can easily go to Stora jingle.
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: We have a new shirt design on our shop right now.
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: It is just a plane T shirt. You can you
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: can pick any color you want, have an advertised in
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: black because I think it looks good. But then there
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: is just a rainbow and some little stars on it
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: and it just says right across the rainbow.
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: Please leave me alone. Perfect. Yeah, it suits a lot
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: of people.
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: I think that a lot of pod therapy listeners could
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: really go for a nice rainbow theme please leave me
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: Alone T shirt. And I think the please please is important. Yes,
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: I do want to be left alone, but I'm not mad.
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: I'm sincere in my desire to be.
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: Left alone asking Yeah, and I would love it if
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: you would please leave me alone.
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: That might have helped me in Mexico. That would have
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: really helped with all those salespeople leave me alone, poor favor.
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: My wife has been in and out of the hospital
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: for the last three years with an infection that keeps
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: coming back. Started off as a fix from the result
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: of a car accident, that fix got infected and the
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: infection continues to persist now on it's third time coming back.
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: To say it's been rough. As an understatement, my favorite
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: way of describing the whole situation is the scene in
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: My Cousin Vinnie where Vinnie asks, is there any more
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: shit we can pile on? Is it possible? We've gone
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: through multiple doctors a large majority dismissed her complaints or
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: we're downright not responsive hashtag women seeking medical help. The
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: original doctor was the worst. Dozens of appointments and scans
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: along with the three surgeries. To add more fun to
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: the party, a severe allergic reaction to antibiotics resulting in
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: an er visit after the second surgery removing the infection,
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: topping it off with chronic pain and nerve damage every
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: six months too. This has resulted in what feels like
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: a pause on her life. She's missed weeks of work.
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: She's a fellow LCSW, so that adds to the shit
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: we can pile on. Canceled vacations and missing out on
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: milestone events with friends and family, baby showers, birthdays, holidays, funerals,
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: even small things are taxing due to her body fighting.
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: The roller coaster of emotions going on, from relief that
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: it's over to dread that the infection is returning is
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: defeating right as she's feeling like she can get back
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: to living life. It comes back me included. I've been
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: by her side through all of this, from taking her
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: to appointments to helping with recovery. I try my best
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: to keep her spirits up when everything has seemed so
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: bleak and worrisome, the mental toll it's taken as a parent.
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: She's a fighter and a badass, but even the strongest
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: can bend. I feel helpless watching her fight her ass off,
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: and I'm, by proxy becoming depleted too. Reservoirs of comfort
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: are low, and pillows to rest on have been sparse.
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: Life feels like it's been on pause for three years,
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: and we are both only in our thirties. What are
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: some things to help keep some resemblance of living instead
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: of just surviving, for both her as the patient as
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: well as me as the support system. Thank you for
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: all you do. Keep up the amazing work. It's the
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: highlight of my week. Anonymous pronouns are he and him ps.
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: Depending upon when you read this, it'll be our six
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: year anniversary. How about that half of our marriage occupied
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: by medical ailments? Fun pps. Feel free to edit and
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: compress We're necessary. No, Nick doesn't do that. He doesn't
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: even remove the part where you asked him to.
• 45:13
  Speaker 3: Oh, caretaking for so long and just one thing after
• 45:17
  Speaker 3: another that sounds so terrible, so exhausting, and just emotionally drinking,
• 45:24
  Speaker 3: like for both you and your wife. So on one hand, fatigue,
• 45:27
  Speaker 3: I was thinking that. I was just thinking, what a
• 45:30
  Speaker 3: great spouse and partner you are. That's incredible. And what
• 45:35
  Speaker 3: I heard from this letter is that despite being very depleted,
• 45:39
  Speaker 3: they were still like, oh my gosh, she's a badass,
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: Like she's going through it all for very little, like
• 45:43
  Speaker 3: pour me in there, and I mean, you can't, and
• 45:46
  Speaker 3: you can't. Yes, you could have, and I'd been like
• 45:49
  Speaker 3: absolutely hard, but gosh, just the tone of this letter
• 45:53
  Speaker 3: was so kind and thoughtful towards your wife.
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: Like that very gentle, but it is it's so depleting
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: and emotional right like, And this is one of the
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: things that we don't talk enough about, is the psychology
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: of illness, the psychology of pain, chronic pain, and then
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: like recurring illnesses, Like we've all talked to people who
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: have battled cancer and like the cancer comes back at
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: some point for some people and now here they go again,
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: or they're getting two steps forward one step back on
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: whatever their their chronic illness is and like that whole
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: journey is just so emotionally taxing for so many people.
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure both of you have heard stories
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: about this, but I've had you know, people in the
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: world that I know who literally choose not to continue
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: treatment just because they cannot take the winding paths of
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: discouragement and feeling that defeat. It is such a gut punch,
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: which goes to show you how significantly emotionally damaging that
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: is that somebody would literally choose death then to continue
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: that roller coaster. No, the writer here is not in
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: that situation. Their spouse is going through these recurring infections.
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: We're not hearing that their life is in danger. We're
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: hearing that there's medical fatigue, there's you know, the emotional
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: fatigue of the up and down half of your marriage
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: is dealing with chronic illnesses, and you know that's terrible.
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: And you're in your thirties, you know, if you're you're
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: sixty five and you're like, it's kind of fucking sex,
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: you know, but like you're in your thirties, you're like, dude,
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: we should be vacationing, we should be baby showers. Yeah,
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: starting your careers and all csw like we should be
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: doing other things. Instead we're just constantly going to medical
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: appointments and then not being believed, you know which on
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: this show, we're very strong believe women people and range. Yeah.
• 47:26
  Speaker 3: Absolutely.
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: Oh god, I've seen so many tiktoks that are like
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: how doctors talk to women? It's like, are you sure
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: you're not just making it up?
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: It's like, oh my god, I mean I understand asking
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: it the first few times. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you want
• 47:38
  Speaker 2: to just to just to make sure she's not being hysterical.
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: Well, they're they're an indecisive people, you know, like I'll
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: believe you when you can tell me what do you
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: want for dinner? Okay, you answer that and I'll believe
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: you're symptoms?
• 47:48
  Speaker 2: Is there any more like coded word out there for
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: men talking about women than hysteria?
• 47:55
  Speaker 3: Like calm down.
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: I don't think I think I can apply say that.
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: I've never called a woman hysterical or anyone else hysterical
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: over anything.
• 48:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it just seems so so degrading.
• 48:10
  Speaker 2: Kiss like, oh you can't control yoursel yeah, yeah, your vagina,
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: she's having that vaginal hysteria again.
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: I like to throw out hysteria when that is in
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: no way applies, Like it's like, hey, can you pass
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: a salt?
• 48:26
  Speaker 2: Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm it down, jesus us, get.
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: Off the rag.
• 48:36
  Speaker 3: So yeah, I think just dealing with all that, Oh
• 48:40
  Speaker 3: I was going to say to the mind fuck of
• 48:43
  Speaker 3: thinking we got it this time or hoping we got
• 48:46
  Speaker 3: it this time and then boom pops back up, Like
• 48:49
  Speaker 3: that's a whole different level of like terror.
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: And also like the doctor told me this was going
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: to work.
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well, and even the initial surgery, which is something
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: I've seen so many times, and like I'm not gonna
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: overplay this hand. Like anecdotally, I hear so many people
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: that go in for back surgery, you know, and that
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: seems to be the classic one. But like they're told, hey,
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: we're to get you out of this pain. We're going
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: to fix your shit, and then the surgery is worse
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: than whatever the problem was that the surgery was going
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: to fix. They can't heal this current pace. It turns
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: out the body does not like to be fucking cut open,
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: and like everything goes wrong and then you get these
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: other and like oh, just and it doesn't And I'm
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: not gonna question the doctors, like, you know, they're the
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: ones seeing the real problems. They know better than me,
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: that's their speciality. But anecdotally I hear about this shiit
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: often and just so discouraging for people because they went
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: in to get out of pain and now they have
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: three fucking years of back to back infections. Yeah, that's awful. Everybody,
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: you can do me a favor. Just fix Jim.
• 49:51
  Speaker 2: Start letting him know anytime you have a successful surgery.
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, I need I need to balance. Jim needs
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: good news, that's right.
• 49:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, don't come I think that. Oh wait, maybe it's
• 50:02
  Speaker 3: like good news for the world. I was like, isn't
• 50:03
  Speaker 3: there a little threat on discord that's like, oh.
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: The good news?
• 50:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah, we have a.
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: Channel for that. Yeah. So you know, how do we
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: pivot from a posture of just surviving the next thing
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: to living in a world in which we can't directly
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: control the medical navigation? Right? And so, like, when you're
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: a human that's dealing with a chronic reality, and that
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: could be a lot of different things. That could be
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: financial realities, that could be broken heartedness, a broken family,
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: that could be coming out of trauma perpetually revisiting trauma
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: like this family is doing. It could be medical issues,
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: whatever it is. Sometimes there are these big, fat, hard
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: realities and I think it's like throbbing vein. Yeah, ebony realities,
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: you know, just like just damn on.
• 50:49
  Speaker 2: Purple headed reality just throwing, you know, just all of
• 50:54
  Speaker 2: it everywhere, shooting.
• 50:55
  Speaker 1: Realities, shoot.
• 51:01
  Speaker 2: Reality, just shivering hips amount of eye rolling reality. I'll
• 51:14
  Speaker 2: have what she's having, reality, like two beer cans stacked
• 51:19
  Speaker 2: on top of each other worth of reality.
• 51:21
  Speaker 3: I think Jacob's life coaching has told you how to think.
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: He's arm holding an apple level of reality, but not
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: in the direction you.
• 51:29
  Speaker 3: Think there's a stop there.
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: We get this a lot, and I think as therapists
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: we have people that come in and it's pretty clear
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: they're they're saying, look, I know you can't solve the thing.
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: There's this big problem I'm dealing with. I need to
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: cope with and somehow survive this problem. And I don't
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: know about you, Whitney, but when I get those kinds
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: of cases, that's always a deep breath moment where I realize, Okay,
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: my desire to fix is going to have to be
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: suspended here. I can't deliver them out of that, and
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: so I've got to step into it with them and
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: like help them navigate. Do you have any notes on that,
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: Like what are your thoughts on how do we help
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: somebody just navigate the ship storm?
• 52:11
  Speaker 3: I know I don't know about navigating overall, but things
• 52:14
  Speaker 3: that kind of I think help keep someone above water
• 52:17
  Speaker 3: when you're dealing with the the depressing and monotonous life
• 52:23
  Speaker 3: of having chronic pain, having to support one another through that.
• 52:28
  Speaker 3: I think finding things in each day and each week
• 52:33
  Speaker 3: that can feel hopeful, so that can be doing something
• 52:36
  Speaker 3: for yourself. I know that sounds really basic cliche, but.
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: Have you tried essential oils?
• 52:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, there is sigence behind it.
• 52:45
  Speaker 4: Jesus lavender helps you feel calm, But won't you go
• 52:49
  Speaker 4: hold a rock or whatever you do you inhale it.
• 52:52
  Speaker 2: You didn't have crystal withright.
• 52:57
  Speaker 3: That's my second and get your crystal number two. But
• 53:02
  Speaker 3: it is true because I think even saying it, it's
• 53:05
  Speaker 3: one of those things I could tell a client that,
• 53:07
  Speaker 3: but are they doing it? Probably not because it's one
• 53:11
  Speaker 3: Maybe maybe there's not time. Maybe chronic pain flares up,
• 53:16
  Speaker 3: you know, like on a whim. It's not something that's
• 53:19
  Speaker 3: planned or whatnot. So maybe you have like an afternoon
• 53:23
  Speaker 3: plan to to do something for yourself, going to hike,
• 53:26
  Speaker 3: do whatever, but if your partner needs you, then then
• 53:28
  Speaker 3: that's foiled. So I think trying know your best to
• 53:32
  Speaker 3: do what you can for yourself. But something that having
• 53:36
  Speaker 3: a current partner who has been a little medically compromised
• 53:39
  Speaker 3: over the last almost full year August last year is
• 53:43
  Speaker 3: when we went to Portugal. We spent a lot of
• 53:47
  Speaker 3: time and we liked to go out. We would go
• 53:49
  Speaker 3: out to dinner, do all these things, but we were
• 53:51
  Speaker 3: really stuck in the house for a long time or
• 53:53
  Speaker 3: I I had to do extra things around our house
• 53:55
  Speaker 3: because he'd hurt his back. So it was a lot
• 53:58
  Speaker 3: for a while. And I think what finally helped us
• 54:01
  Speaker 3: once we're like all right, we're the cup is almost empty,
• 54:05
  Speaker 3: like we need to do something here. We did things
• 54:09
  Speaker 3: like order food and the comfort of our own home,
• 54:11
  Speaker 3: but it's like special so you need to find a show,
• 54:16
  Speaker 3: y'all are really looking forward to watching together, Like hey,
• 54:19
  Speaker 3: you know what, the dishes can wait for tomorrow, Like
• 54:21
  Speaker 3: just put some things on pause. And eventually, even though
• 54:26
  Speaker 3: maybe he wasn't feeling one hundred percent, we did go
• 54:28
  Speaker 3: out and like sat at a little bar and ordered
• 54:30
  Speaker 3: some food in a drunk like something that can be
• 54:32
  Speaker 3: in and out. You don't have to have a reservation.
• 54:34
  Speaker 3: It's not fancy, but just to get out of the
• 54:37
  Speaker 3: house and feel normalcy. So you said, for three years
• 54:41
  Speaker 3: you've been dealing with all of these medical stuff, Like
• 54:43
  Speaker 3: what would you guys have done before all this was happening?
• 54:46
  Speaker 3: What felt like fun and connection time for you both.
• 54:49
  Speaker 3: It wasn't about all this heavy stuff going on. That
• 54:52
  Speaker 3: can feel kind of normal again. And three years is
• 54:55
  Speaker 3: a long time. We're just creeping up on one year,
• 54:57
  Speaker 3: and he's doing a lot better as far as I'm
• 55:00
  Speaker 3: going to tell y'all, as far as we get to know, this.
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: Reminds me of COVID, you know, like I feel like
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: a lot of questions we were getting in COVID were
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: the same kind of you know, like question of the
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: world is scary and it's shitty, and I'm trapped in
• 55:13
  Speaker 1: home and quarantine. How do I get back to some
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: kind of normal? And I think that your advice was
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: really relevant back then too, of like redefine some normal,
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: like change where the end zone is right, And that's
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: what I think also makes this question so particularly difficult.
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: I've had patience. I've had one uh in this last
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: year that we had to have a very serious talk
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: about this person wanting this life that was taken from them, okay,
• 55:37
  Speaker 1: and believing I'm going to get that back. I when
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: to get back to my mission, and at some point
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: I had to sit them down and have this really
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: hard talk and tell them you won't. And I got
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: to be the guy to break it to you. There's
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: a lot of people feeding your delusion that you're going
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: to get this back. If only you believe hard enough,
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: that will never come back. And I need you to
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: accept that so you can start to see the very
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: good life that's still around you. But as long as
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: you keep thinking about the gold medal, you'll fucking hate
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: the silver medal. And it's interesting. I saw this whole
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: study actually about the Olympics. I was talking about how
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: silver medalists often will hide the medal and like bronze
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: medalists will report being thrilled right their win gold. Of
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: course they're thrilled. Silver fucking hates their lives, and they're
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: sadder than the bronze because the bronze is like I
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: almost did in place, and there were two people better
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: than me. I'm clearly not the best on the planet, right,
• 56:28
  Speaker 1: there was two people better. The silver medalist is like
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: one fucking step and I would have had the gold,
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: right and so like, and they're they're unhappy with it.
• 56:36
  Speaker 2: The I've read, I've read several different things about different
• 56:40
  Speaker 2: studies that goes into the crazy. One for me is
• 56:44
  Speaker 2: when the silver medalists are happier when they were just destroyed.
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: It's clear.
• 56:51
  Speaker 2: So like the caps that got silver medal to like
• 56:54
  Speaker 2: Michael Phelps, he was in his prime.
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they were like, he beat me by five minutes.
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: He lapped We did the.
• 57:03
  Speaker 2: Like we did one lap across the pool and he
• 57:06
  Speaker 2: somehow lapped me.
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he was stretching for his race. When I got
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: to the cool he was dry. Yeah. Yeah, that's a
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: world champion. Yeah. And that's how a lot of basketball
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: players feel during like the Michael Jordan era, They're like, nope,
• 57:18
  Speaker 1: I wasn't the best, Michael Jordan was the best. Yeah,
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: there's a wide golf, but no, I mean I feel
• 57:24
  Speaker 1: like that that transition.
• 57:25
  Speaker 2: Charles Barkley talk about I don't talk about whether I'm
• 57:29
  Speaker 2: the best best player from that era. All I want
• 57:32
  Speaker 2: to talk about is power forward.
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: I was the best player on the suns.
• 57:36
  Speaker 2: I want to talk about just me versus like the
• 57:40
  Speaker 2: male man.
• 57:41
  Speaker 1: That's all I want to do. That I got power forwards.
• 57:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah no, But I think for the for the writer,
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: you do have to go through this personal adjustment of
• 57:49
  Speaker 1: accepting the life that you have and almost turning your
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: back on the life that you could have had or
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: you still are seeking. Now, why that's still very difficult
• 57:57
  Speaker 1: Here is in the patient's case that I I was
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: dealing with, it was true. You will not get that back,
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: and I need you to accept this.
• 58:04
  Speaker 2: In this case, you were a hand model and you
• 58:06
  Speaker 2: were in a terrible auto accis Yeah, those hands, that's right.
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: In this person's case, it's tough because they keep getting
• 58:13
  Speaker 1: those glimpses of hope, and to have that hope snatched
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: away from you, you almost have to adopt a posture
• 58:18
  Speaker 1: of pessimism and you almost have to accept Okay, we
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: don't think you're going to be chronically infected for the
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: rest of your life, but apparently this is going to
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: be a nagging and persistent thing. There will be upsets
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: along the way. It's probably not going to be the
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: case that we get a clear blue sky and we're
• 58:35
  Speaker 1: back to like this never started. If you can get
• 58:38
  Speaker 1: to a place where you can accept that that's not likely,
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: then you can enter that silver metal reality where you
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: start to say, okay, if that's true, what's good about
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: life today? And this is how it was with COVID.
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: It was like, okay, So if I accept this reality
• 58:53
  Speaker 1: and I stop trying to escape it, how do I
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: do a date at home? How do I decorate for here?
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: We missed out on going on a trip to Hawaii?
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: Do I bring Hawaii to us? How do I do
• 59:02
  Speaker 1: a Hawaii vacation at home? We're gonna buy pineapple and
• 59:04
  Speaker 1: make us fun drinks. We're going to decorate, We're going
• 59:07
  Speaker 1: to find a way to party on the Titanic and
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: like it's there's there's a morose com humor to it.
• 59:12
  Speaker 1: But like ironically, I do think that's part of the
• 59:15
  Speaker 1: mental gymnastic required to answer this person's question, how do
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: I go from surviving to living? It's a state of
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: mind shift where you almost embrace the suck and accept
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: it instead of resisting it, and then you find joy
• 59:29
  Speaker 1: where you're at where you can and somehow there's to be.
• 59:33
  Speaker 3: Very clear to like when you're in those moments, because
• 59:36
  Speaker 3: if it's just blending in with like, oh, yeah, we
• 59:39
  Speaker 3: just didn't want to cook tonight, so we ordered in
• 59:41
  Speaker 3: as different than like, hey, we're going to order from
• 59:43
  Speaker 3: this place, and you get those decorations in and do
• 59:46
  Speaker 3: something special or have friends over, like a couple over
• 59:49
  Speaker 3: to their family that you care about for this one night. Right, Yeah,
• 59:54
  Speaker 3: I think being very intentional, I think that's what I'm
• 59:56
  Speaker 3: trying to say.
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: It is that, and I think there's I don't like
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: the word delusion, but like there is an acceptance of
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 1: some amount of fiction here where you get to decide
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: what happiness looks like and you get to redefine that.
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 1: But now, if you continue to define happiness as the
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 1: life that was stolen from you by this bad medical
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: work and the life that's one day awaiting you that
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: may or may not reappear, that's your chase fucking mobi
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 1: dick for the rest of your life, and you will
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: always experience sorrow. Your cup is always half empty. But
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 1: if you start from a position of this cup was
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 1: never going to be that full, look at what I've got,
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 1: then you're able to kind of mentally readjust your situation
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 1: and find joy where it's at. So, I mean, it
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 1: still doesn't I'm not trying to like gaslight you into
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: like accepting happiness, but you're asking a very fundamentally hard
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 1: question and like going back to like even Buddhism and
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: stuff like the Buddha taught the fundamental thing that causes
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: suffering is your desire. Right, It's because you desire the
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 1: full cup that the half cup is not acceptable to
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 1: you and you're missing out. If you can get rid
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: of that desire and kind of change and accept your circumstances,
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 1: you're going to go back to living again, and there's
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: joy that can be found in that. I think peace
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: and acceptance above all. But what really sucks for the
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 1: writer is normally you have to go through the stages
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: of grief whenever your life is fundamentally changing like this.
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: But when this keeps happening that you're like, oh, it's
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 1: all clear again, you're good. Go ahead, go rent bikes
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: and go to Tahiti for the week. You're gonna have
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 1: a great time. Oh just kidding, you're sick. Come back.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 1: You'd never get to properly grieve because you can't get
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 1: to that stage of acceptance, So like that's where it's
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: really hard to kind of cycle through. You almost say, like,
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 1: fucking just tell me it's going to be permanent, you know,
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 1: or stop dangling hope right in front of me and
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 1: statching it away. But in the meantime, in the interim, writer,
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 1: that's what you've got to do to kind of get
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 1: back to it. So I'm sorry for this. I'm really
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: sorry to hear about that.
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 3: That's really tough.
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a really hard story. But hey, rooting for
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: your spouse, you know, especially a fellow therapist, it's hard
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 1: to do the work of therapy under perfect circumstances when
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 1: anything is wrong in your life, like somehow putting that
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 1: behind you and stepping into somebody else's truth. It's really hard.
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: And when you're sitting there in chronic pain the whole
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 1: time is sick recovering, that's terrible.
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 3: Do you ever think about that, like as a therapist,
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 3: I'm like, man, if X, Y or Z happened, or
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 3: if I was going through like heavy grief and you
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 3: just couldn't, you know, do therapy, it's just devastating.
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 1: I think about that all the time because a lot
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 1: of us are you know, solo practitioners, and like you
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 1: don't have short term disability, you can't take a break
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 1: from work and still collect a paycheck. So like, if
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 1: something bad happens in your life that you can't practice,
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 1: you're really fucked, like and that scares me all the time.
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: Like I think, like, oh boy, I hope I become
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: like a full professor one day with U and LV
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 1: like it's like okay, like I've got something. Yeah, Like
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 1: if I'm not okay, like hey man, take care of yourself,
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: like you're you're unwell, like get right something, you get
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: an FMLA like we have benefit package for this. So anyway, writer,
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 1: you know, hang in there. Tell your spouse that we're
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: rooting for them. We hope that you know, she's gonna
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: feel better about all this and you know, obviously wishing
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 1: her a speedy recovery. But hang in there for you too.
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 1: I mean that self care. I love that you brought
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 1: this up Withney, that your cup continues to needing to
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 1: be filled too. And sometimes it's the spouse the caretaker.
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 1: We feel guilty when we're living our life. It's like
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 1: I'm not ill, I can travel, I can go have
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 1: fun with friends. But I feel like if I do.
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: But no, I mean, honestly, we tease you for that,
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 1: but like you need to or you wouldn't be any
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 1: use when you come home, right, So you need to
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 1: be able to go have fun. You could probably do
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 1: it less. Yeah, I mean, it'd be nice if you
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 1: went home every once in a while. He hasn't seen
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 1: you in months.
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 2: You know, he's both in the same city.
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 1: He's fine, water, there's a sign on his chest. He's fine.
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 1: Don't listen to him, scream, don't open the door anyway. Writer,
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 1: thank you for writing again. That's right, he's got a TV.
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 1: I left the radio.
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 2: Oh I saw video. It was Vegas or Henderson. It
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 2: was one of these police forces around here. They almost
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 2: gave a ticket to a woman who had left a
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 2: couple of dogs in the car in a parking lot
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 2: and someone reported it and so they were there and
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 2: they were getting ready to bring off the window apparently
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 2: and everything. It was like an electric car. Oh, so
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 2: the climate control and everything was running.
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah, was silent the dogs. Yeah.
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 1: I like it when the Tesla screen says climate is
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 1: at They can put on a screen that's like bright.
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 1: That way, if you look through the windows. It's clear.
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 1: It says the internal temperature of seventy grown in my
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 1: fucking batteries. So you know my dogs are alive. I'm
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 1: not even gonna save the dog.
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 2: The dogs, I don't know, I don't know, buts off
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 2: that day.
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 1: We're gonna take quick break, and when we come back,
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 1: we're talking about pregnancy, something nobody in this room has
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 1: personally experienced. You're still listening to pod therapy. Today's episode
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 1: is brought to you by Judy Schneider, Leon Cassab, Carolyn Albert,
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 1: Sammy Scoop, Sarah Smith, Mike helmidar In Cunningham and Breadie Molla, Chick, Maxigender, Scoopy,
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  Speaker 1: dot com slash therapy. Back to our trivia? Is this
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 1: a Midwestern fifty something couple or swingers at the adults
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 1: only all inclusive can kun resort? Here we go?
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 2: Is this where we find out that gym just accidentally
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 2: went to a swingers resort?
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 4: There total is one there.
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 1: Of course, Yeah, I didn't know that adults only I
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 1: did not know, or I thought that was just the
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 1: prime stomping ground.
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 2: There are two groups of adults only vacation places. One
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 2: is just adults only where they don't like having kids around.
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 3: There I was there.
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 1: They need to put an asterisk or something next to
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 1: a pineapple.
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 2: Well, yeah, it's a tropical location.
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 1: I assumed that meant there would be great drinks.
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 3: There's one to Hawaii.
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 1: Back to Whitney. The couple tells you they're on their
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 1: second marriage after they spent twenty years unhappily married to
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 1: somebody else, but now have found somebody who shares similar desires.
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 3: Oh, I mean, it seems like you're baiting me into it.
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 1: But swingers, I'm just reading the quotes. So this is
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 1: the conversations I was having.
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 2: I feel like the Midwesterners don't don't I don't tell
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 2: you about that person.
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 1: Okay, that's the swingers. All right, we're double up on
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 1: swingers for the first one. All right, Jacob, we're starting
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 1: on you on this one they tell you about. Oh wait,
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 1: already said that one. Yeah, swingers. Yeah, where's the one
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 1: I missed?
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 3: Then?
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 1: Okay, I did the video of the suite. We did
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 1: the phone numbers we can connect later. Looks so easy
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 1: when Nick does I know there it is.
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 3: I'm just trying to shame us.
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 1: Oh, they tell you that they only go to adults
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 1: only resorts to make new friends. Midwest Okay, really, Jacob.
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 3: To only go to adults only to make new friends?
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 3: A Midwesterner is going to Mexico adults only to make
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 3: new friends.
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 1: It seems suspicious with the swingers on this one.
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 2: See, I'm picturing the people that do like cruises.
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 1: They do like cruises over.
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 2: And over again, and they say, oh, you know, I
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 2: do like two or three four cruises a year, and
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 2: I bet I bet there are similar people, uh to
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 2: the adults. Ownly, I there's some more crowd of people there.
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 3: Okay, I accept that.
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 1: Text you at ten o'clock at night asking what you're
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 1: doing this evening, telling you that they are in their room.
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 3: We both agree on that the.
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 2: Midwesterners are not text you.
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 3: Not to come to their room and listen to jazz.
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 4: They're not texting you at ten people.
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 1: Because we're swingers on this Those are all six quotes
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 1: from the same.
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 3: Couple, and they are swingers.
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 1: I don't know. By the time we got to the
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 1: jazz thing.
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 2: I was like, they want to fuck But the whole trip,
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 2: I'm like, are they trying to fuck us?
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 1: Like? What is this? Like just every encounter I have.
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 2: Becaues he know how to deal with people who are nice.
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 1: To They were Midwesterners in their fifties, and I'm like,
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 1: but the whole time, I'm like, God, but this is
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 1: like a Midwest thing like that. You know, there's just
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 1: did not want to fuck.
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 3: You like they wanted to two questions about coming to
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 3: their rooms is what I'm hearing.
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 1: They showed us videos to the Presidential suite. No, I
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 1: mean I it was tempted when the jazz thing came up,
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 1: because like, I like jazz. Now I really saw the
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 1: pictures of this.
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 2: How much if any was the hang in the room then,
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 2: like the bar was, did the room look nicer than
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 2: the bar or wherever you were already hanging out?
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 1: Well, it's an all inclusive resort bar everywhere, you know,
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 1: and we met, Like the Presidential room, it's a beautiful room.
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 1: It was really did that look like nicer? It was?
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to get to hold on. I'm trying to
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 1: get to like were they.
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 2: Saying our accommodation is head and shoulders nicer than this
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 2: place that we're sitting here.
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 1: Why are we wasting that? Why don't we go up there?
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 1: Well yeah, so is that that's a bit of a question.
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 1: It's a It is a very beautiful room. It was
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 1: very big, so like it had its own living room
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 1: with a sectional, It had its own balcony, It had
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 1: a ocean facing like giant bed.
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 2: So like this was just a friendly Midwest couple that
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 2: you just didn't know what to do with listening to jazz.
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 1: Let's go listen to jazz. People to jazz. It just
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 1: doesn't work. Okay, that's how you know it just doesn't work.
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 1: There's no rhythm there.
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, like some nice funk or something. Yeah, okay.
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 2: If they had said you want to come listen to funk, yeah.
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 3: Then they're like that's too obvious. You have to stay
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 3: jazz and then you put the funk on.
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 2: Or like if they if they wanted to come listen
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 2: to like Jack and Diane with the clap track going
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 2: just to keep you on.
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 4: Beat, I'm never gonna listen.
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 1: Okay. Okay, yeah, you gotta have that metronome. You gotta
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 1: just know that this is what we're doing here every
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 1: single time.
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 2: She came on a face in the back seat of
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 2: my car.
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 3: But you are reminded me that when we to the
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 3: World Cup game afterwards, this random bar was blasting out
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 3: Sweet Caroline on the street, and I felt like I
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 3: was the only one out there trying to yell the
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 3: customers yelling.
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 1: Why do you keep yelling me?
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 3: You trade a text o uber from earlier my.
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 1: Friends, I'll get it, come find us. Yeah, so, uh,
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 1: cheers to you Midwest Indiana couple. It was lovely hanging
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 1: out with Yeah, they were very nice, very nice people.
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 1: I thought you were very nice. I just wasn't sure
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 1: if we were.
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 3: Tell them you have a podcast so they can listen.
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 1: I didn't. I should have.
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I always wear my pot therapy onesie to all
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 2: of my my travels.
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 3: So fun.
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 1: No, the jury's out, so I don't know.
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 3: Okay, how many days were they there? How many days
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 3: were you hanging out? And this was one day? They
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 3: told you all this or.
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 1: What we we all both couples. We and them both
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 1: flew in on a Friday. They left on Monday. We
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 1: left on Thursday. It's easy. Do you know the real
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 1: during trivia. We we all played like a musical trivia
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 1: and they a bunch of couples played and we got
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 1: to know them there. They found them in you know,
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 1: they're from Indiana.
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 3: Indiana on the flight.
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 1: No, we didn't. We didn't meet them on the flight.
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 1: We met them during trivia at the hotel, and then
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 1: I saw them the next day at the gift shop
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 1: and they're just like, oh, hey, man, you were from
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 1: trivia last night. Say oh yeah. So we start chatting,
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 1: and their Midwesterners, so they're just like they you can't
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 1: walk away like this, We're staying in this gift shop,
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 1: were to keep talking.
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 2: I find that there is a very easy way to
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 2: spot swingers if you are there for multiple days. Okay,
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 2: if you see them fucking other people. Did you see
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 2: this couple over the course of these multiple days taking
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 2: a different couple Okay? Yeah, Like if they just tried
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 2: to fuck you for multiple days and failed, Yeah, they
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 2: had a terrible vacation.
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 2: Well that's what I felt really bad about, because like
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 2: it was a man wanting to have two things. Yeah, hey,
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 2: can you imagine wanting to have sex with Jim Joe? Okay, yeah,
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 2: many people can byway, you can imagine there are have
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 2: sex with Jim Jobin and getting turned down. Okay, yeah,
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 2: getting rejected pretty rough, pretty rough, yeah, swing. I'm trying
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 2: to picture it. I can't picture it well.
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 1: And I feel really bad because like I see them
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 1: on Friday night we're at the trivia great see them
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 1: on Saturday at the gift shop, end up going to
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 1: the pool. We both ended up doing like cabanas that day.
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 1: So keep seeing them at the pool. There's like an
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 1: infinity pool, so we're all getting drinks. Everybody's having a
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 1: great time. We're talking at the pool for hours, great time.
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 1: That night there's like a big show and they're like, oh,
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 1: you guys want to hang out and stuff like, well,
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 1: we're gonna catch the show. So Sunday night is the
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 1: night being they leave on Monday, that's when they're like, hey,
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 1: come up to the room, listen to jazz. And I
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 1: feel really bad if they were betting all their swinger
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 1: on me and I fucked up on something right even.
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 3: Go buy other people where they weren't know, you know,
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 3: And I.
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 1: Just feel bad. These people. These people are not uh
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 1: I think did I lead them on? Because clearly all
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 1: the way up to Sunday. They're trying to get me
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 1: up in the room. Did I lead them on?
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 3: To be fair? You have me thinking now of yeah,
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 3: friends I have that have been accused of giving swingers
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 3: vibes when they weren't because they were just really friendly,
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 3: friendly god, like the Midwesterners. She's like, let's do this,
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 3: let's hang out, and then they're like, my friends in.
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 1: The pool, do you want to taste my.
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 4: Cause a little hand job under the water.
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what's it's in Mexico? What else?
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 3: When in Mexico?
• 1:13:34
  Speaker 1: When in Mexico, Mexico? As they say, So, I don't know.
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 3: It's a fun time.
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 2: Oh I got offered a hand job the other day
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 2: at a massage. Oh massage at a place that I've
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 2: been multiple times. It's always been very straight laced, offered
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 2: of going back, it's because yeah.
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 3: How did it? They just whisper near and ask or what.
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 1: Oh they didn't whisper. Yeah, there was no whispering. The
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 1: hearing in.
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 2: Paris, yellings, canceling headphones at the time it beats by dret.
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 1: So anyway, you.
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 3: Want to hand me real quick.
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 1: Hard an appointment canceled.
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 3: Like I can't help that. And no I don't.
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 1: Grandma, Grandma, please just here for the cookies. Okay, well
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 1: midwestern Midwestern okay, yeah, mid seating something Indian. They're just
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 1: just friendly Wanes. Anyway, they remain in mystery, but forever
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 1: in my heart, my Mexican Midwest.
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 3: Friends, I'll always tell that story. Is the swingers human.
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 1: The swingers who got away? Yeah, but you know, I
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 1: want to believe that they were swingers because then it
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 1: was flattering to be asked, you.
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 3: Know, to go to their room.
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 2: They wanted to, They wanted it, they wanted I don't
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 2: know how to meeting swingers and not f isn't a
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 2: good story.
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I did a lot of meat things well.
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 3: Because they have so many. First first, go to Mexico.
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 4: It built me.
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 1: An entire trivia, so you know what worth it? Last
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 1: question for the night. Are my pregnancy feelings valid or
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 1: am I overreacting because of hormones? Oh? Here's your that one.
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 1: Get your hysteria locked and loaded here, because I think
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 1: we're gonna get to use it today. Hey, y'all, I'm
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 1: a twenty five year old female and I'm currently pregnant.
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 1: I've heard lots of stories of pregnant. Awesome God.
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 3: The answer.
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 1: We got you. We got you. Twenty five currently pregnant.
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 1: I've heard lots of stories of pregnant women having intense
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 1: emotions about situations that they later find laughable. For example,
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 1: I've had several friends say they had a tearful meltdown
• 1:15:53
  Speaker 1: because they had a specific craving that they couldn't get
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 1: in the middle of the night, or maybe their partner
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 1: I heard something. Yeah, I've heard that too. One patient
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 1: cried because they didn't have corn beef on St. Patrick's dage.
• 1:16:09
  Speaker 2: If my taste buds are set for corn beef.
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah, what are don't stop me else?
• 1:16:14
  Speaker 1: Several friends tearful meltdowns because of specific cravings or maybe
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 1: their partner ate something that they were planning on eating.
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 2: Hopefully, No, I'm not crying. Somebody's getting hurt, Like that's
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 2: gonna be a bad day.
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 1: I've had my occasional moments of tears or anxieties, but
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 1: I feel like they're genuine concerns, yet other people don't
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 1: seem to be taking them seriously. I'll try talking to
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 1: my husband or to friends about things that I'm sad
• 1:16:38
  Speaker 1: or worried about, and I feel like just because I'm pregnant.
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 1: It's always met with ha oh boy. Hormones can be
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 1: pretty crazy when you're pregnant, and I don't feel like
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 1: I can actually address my concerns. To give some examples,
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 1: I've tried talking about my fears of loneliness during postpartum,
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 1: concerns about being on the same page as my husband
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 1: and parenting and current family drama. People seem to respond
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 1: by saying, my feelings are just a product of crazy
• 1:17:03
  Speaker 1: pregnancy hormones. Now, when I feel sad or anxious, I
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 1: find myself essentially saying to myself, well, I'm probably just
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 1: feeling this way because of the hormones, so it's probably
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 1: not a big deal, and then I just don't deal
• 1:17:14
  Speaker 1: with whatever I'm feeling. My question would be, how can
• 1:17:18
  Speaker 1: I tell if my feelings are valid or possibly just
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 1: overreacting because of the hormones. Does that even matter? How
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 1: do I address my emotions, whether my emotions are valid
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 1: or even when maybe I'm overreacting? Thanks Anonymous. Okay, so Whitney,
• 1:17:34
  Speaker 1: as an overreacting woman yourself, how do you tell the
• 1:17:37
  Speaker 1: difference between when you just be a bit who's being
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 1: crazy versus.
• 1:17:41
  Speaker 3: When a valid that's literally what I say.
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 1: Say more Whitney, we're listening, We're here to learn.
• 1:17:50
  Speaker 4: So my perspective is she's hysterical.
• 1:17:53
  Speaker 3: You hear it in her voice, shrilld damn Jesus. All right,
• 1:18:01
  Speaker 3: So I feel like, uh, I prefer the bears, But
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 3: I think that I think both can be true, Like
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 3: maybe there is some level of you having heightened hormonal
• 1:18:18
  Speaker 3: reaction to certain things. I've seen it, like it is
• 1:18:21
  Speaker 3: a thing. I don't think it's something that should invalidate
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 3: your experience though. It's like working with teenagers, you know,
• 1:18:29
  Speaker 3: like things feel big to them, or dealing with toddlers,
• 1:18:33
  Speaker 3: Like we hear that a lot, like oh my gosh,
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 3: they're upset because they didn't get the food they wanted
• 1:18:37
  Speaker 3: to eat, like the same types of things, but that's
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 3: a big deal to them. This is it's their first
• 1:18:41
  Speaker 3: time on Earth, so you treat it big. You're like,
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 3: oh my gosh, I'm so sorry that you didn't get
• 1:18:45
  Speaker 3: your snack you wanted. Like to an adult, they're just like,
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 3: this is the stupidest thing in the planet. But for
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 3: the toddler, it's a big deal. And so I think
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 3: that all feelings are valid, that even if maybe there
• 1:18:55
  Speaker 3: is a what you're using the term overreaction, like a
• 1:18:59
  Speaker 3: bigger reaction than is warranted, per se, I still think
• 1:19:02
  Speaker 3: the feeling behind it is totally valid.
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's I'll secon that to uh, to some degree.
• 1:19:09
  Speaker 1: I hate I hate to be about seventy percent on
• 1:19:13
  Speaker 1: the dollar.
• 1:19:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, uh but yeah, like if the if the
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 2: issue is there, like think of it this way. If
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 2: the problem is there, if the origin of the problem
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 2: is a quote unquote real thing or it's pregnancy brain, Yeah, okay,
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 2: the problem.
• 1:19:31
  Speaker 1: Is still there. Yeah, yeah, you still got you still
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 1: got to deal with the problem. Well, I mean I
• 1:19:35
  Speaker 1: just sometimes look at this and think you wouldn't do
• 1:19:37
  Speaker 1: this in a lot of other scenarios, right, like if
• 1:19:39
  Speaker 1: a teenager is going through a teenage problem and you
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 1: don't just go, look, the reason you're crying over your
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 1: boyfriend is because you're a teenager. Okay, one day you'll
• 1:19:45
  Speaker 1: realize this doesn't matter. It's like people she's broken hearted.
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 3: Today, Like, yeah, that is more normal e her.
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 1: Unfortunately it is. You know, but like any other portion
• 1:19:54
  Speaker 1: of your life where your biology is affecting part of
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 1: how your brain thinks, which is all look.
• 1:20:00
  Speaker 3: Aology yes, thank you. It's the biology.
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 1: It's your biology. Like all I mean, your hormones are
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 1: always changing, like as men age, you know, are testosterones
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 1: dropping like one percent every year. You see all these
• 1:20:10
  Speaker 1: commercials that are like, oh, if you get your testosterone
• 1:20:13
  Speaker 1: back up, X Y and Z.
• 1:20:14
  Speaker 2: Oh I haven't. I haven't said on this show. I've
• 1:20:16
  Speaker 2: said it on ice cream social. Uh my doctor is
• 1:20:18
  Speaker 2: wanting to put me on testosterone?
• 1:20:20
  Speaker 1: Now? Is he offering it from his own body?
• 1:20:22
  Speaker 3: Uh?
• 1:20:22
  Speaker 1: Huh oh see a discount. Yeah, he's like, my testosterone
• 1:20:27
  Speaker 1: at a nice and ninety eight point five degrees. That's
• 1:20:30
  Speaker 1: that's how I want it. He needs to make you
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 1: rub it into your skin too, Yeah, he rubs it yeah,
• 1:20:37
  Speaker 1: or out anyway.
• 1:20:41
  Speaker 2: But no, he was saying he was like like sleep
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 2: problems all this other stuff.
• 1:20:45
  Speaker 1: He was like sleep.
• 1:20:46
  Speaker 2: He was like, yeah, you're like you're under you're under
• 1:20:48
  Speaker 2: this level. And so like, uh, specialist whatever that specialist
• 1:20:52
  Speaker 2: is called.
• 1:20:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, endochronology.
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I always want to call it gastroid gastrorologist, that's it. Yeah,
• 1:20:59
  Speaker 2: but yeah, the new chronologists. So there's like tests going
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 2: on with that. But yeah, they're both like oh yeah,
• 1:21:03
  Speaker 2: this is this is the thing, it happens, and get whatever.
• 1:21:06
  Speaker 1: But that's the point, though, is like, okay, fine, and
• 1:21:09
  Speaker 1: if a person chooses to you know, add or subtract
• 1:21:11
  Speaker 1: that from their body to regulate, that's fine. But it
• 1:21:14
  Speaker 1: goes to show you that there is none of us, no,
• 1:21:17
  Speaker 1: no human on the planet who is not affected in
• 1:21:20
  Speaker 1: some way by their hormones. So just because there's an
• 1:21:23
  Speaker 1: average that we accumulate between like ages twenty and forty,
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 1: that doesn't become the global standard of who the reasonable
• 1:21:30
  Speaker 1: members of our species are.
• 1:21:32
  Speaker 2: Right, And this is what.
• 1:21:33
  Speaker 1: Your point about. Feelings matter no matter what, because it
• 1:21:35
  Speaker 1: needs to. An eighty year old's feelings are going to
• 1:21:37
  Speaker 1: be different and influenced by a different body chemistry than
• 1:21:40
  Speaker 1: a two year old's. But the human is experiencing subjective
• 1:21:44
  Speaker 1: units of distress. And this therapist. We would be really
• 1:21:47
  Speaker 1: shitty at our jobs if every person we talk to
• 1:21:50
  Speaker 1: we graded it on some kind of imaginary objective curve.
• 1:21:53
  Speaker 1: And that is like your job. I wouldn't be upset
• 1:21:56
  Speaker 1: at my husband if I were in your shoes. Yeah,
• 1:21:58
  Speaker 1: there isn't even a She's just fucking nothing, just one star.
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 2: She's just saying this is a problem. Maybe your job
• 1:22:06
  Speaker 2: to figure out what the problem is.
• 1:22:08
  Speaker 1: I had met her at some point in my life,
• 1:22:10
  Speaker 1: that would help, But.
• 1:22:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I remember, and you'd have more stars.
• 1:22:13
  Speaker 1: We don't fucking that was the problem is that I
• 1:22:16
  Speaker 1: didn't remember her. Remember from Virginia.
• 1:22:20
  Speaker 2: I'm your only patient Virginia.
• 1:22:24
  Speaker 1: You've got a license just to work with me in Virginia.
• 1:22:27
  Speaker 1: So I agree with your point, which the first thing
• 1:22:29
  Speaker 1: is regardless if your experience in pregnancy is causing for
• 1:22:34
  Speaker 1: your baseline compared to your pre pregnancy self, if your
• 1:22:38
  Speaker 1: post or during pregnancy self is experiencing life differently, I
• 1:22:42
  Speaker 1: want to observe that. But like, that's why we have
• 1:22:45
  Speaker 1: a category called postpartum depression postpartum anxiety, and we don't
• 1:22:49
  Speaker 1: discount that experience because it's somewhat more predictable based on
• 1:22:52
  Speaker 1: hormonal regulation. We take it very seriously and part of
• 1:22:55
  Speaker 1: the treatment of it is to sit down with you
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 1: and talk through what's on your and what's holding you down,
• 1:23:02
  Speaker 1: with the hope that we can, you know, squeeze out
• 1:23:04
  Speaker 1: that energy by metabolizing it with language and ultimately make
• 1:23:08
  Speaker 1: less of it right by measuring it and observing it.
• 1:23:10
  Speaker 1: So the treatment should be the same. And I don't
• 1:23:13
  Speaker 1: like the discounting of it when people just handwave and say,
• 1:23:17
  Speaker 1: now here's where I'm actually okay with it and I'm
• 1:23:19
  Speaker 1: interested in your thoughts on this whitny. I feel like
• 1:23:22
  Speaker 1: sometimes as a person with anxiety, it is reassuring to
• 1:23:26
  Speaker 1: me when somebody reassures me and says, hey, you're just crazy,
• 1:23:29
  Speaker 1: like and it's like in this loving like I'm like,
• 1:23:33
  Speaker 1: I think this really scary thing could be real, and
• 1:23:35
  Speaker 1: the person's like, hey, man, don't forget that you're nuts,
• 1:23:37
  Speaker 1: like you have an anxiety sort of, it's like oh yeah,
• 1:23:39
  Speaker 1: and like, okay, actually, thank you, Like you're you're helping
• 1:23:43
  Speaker 1: me not take this scary seriously because you're reminding me
• 1:23:46
  Speaker 1: that I can't trust my own brain right. And I
• 1:23:48
  Speaker 1: could see the same argument for somebody who's going through
• 1:23:51
  Speaker 1: an acute hormonal regulation like pregnancy or like menstruation or
• 1:23:55
  Speaker 1: something of that effect, where it's like I'm feeling all
• 1:23:57
  Speaker 1: these feelings and somebody having the right to tell them like, hey,
• 1:24:00
  Speaker 1: don't trust those feelings right now. I'll bet you'll feel
• 1:24:02
  Speaker 1: differently in a week.
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 3: My reaction hearing that is that with anxiety, I would
• 1:24:08
  Speaker 3: still validate the feeling, but challenge the thought, and when
• 1:24:12
  Speaker 3: I hear kind of what the writer was saying, it's
• 1:24:16
  Speaker 3: more like they may know even like I shouldn't be
• 1:24:21
  Speaker 3: upset about this, but I still feel upset about this.
• 1:24:24
  Speaker 3: So I see it a little differently hearing that out loud,
• 1:24:28
  Speaker 3: because with anxiety, yeah, you need to have those thoughts challenged.
• 1:24:32
  Speaker 3: But I think when it's just that is a chemistry
• 1:24:36
  Speaker 3: emotional reaction, not my brain creating the feeling. It's more
• 1:24:40
  Speaker 3: like the feeling is existing because of the chemistry, I
• 1:24:43
  Speaker 3: feel like those are different things.
• 1:24:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's great point. Yeah, but still being willing to
• 1:24:47
  Speaker 1: challenge the thought though to help them right size it.
• 1:24:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, So I think that's where I think validation comes in. Like,
• 1:24:52
  Speaker 3: I see you're upset. That's really tough. They mentioned. I
• 1:24:54
  Speaker 3: think like family drama, that would be an area I'd
• 1:24:58
  Speaker 3: be like, Okay, well maybe maybe we aren't gonna you know,
• 1:25:01
  Speaker 3: text great aunt so and so that she's a raging bitch.
• 1:25:04
  Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, don't trust your first thought during this.
• 1:25:06
  Speaker 3: Let's revisit this after the baby, Like, let's revisit this later,
• 1:25:12
  Speaker 3: maybe like put that on pause. Other things like you're upset,
• 1:25:14
  Speaker 3: I ate the food you were saving for later, I'd
• 1:25:18
  Speaker 3: be upset right now.
• 1:25:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And I like that they gave us those points
• 1:25:23
  Speaker 1: to say, like family drama or the fear of like
• 1:25:26
  Speaker 1: are my spouse and I going to be good parents?
• 1:25:27
  Speaker 1: Are we on the same right? Those are relevant? And yes,
• 1:25:31
  Speaker 1: hormones or a stage of life. Yeah, Like if you
• 1:25:34
  Speaker 1: were adopting a kid right now and you weren't hormonal
• 1:25:37
  Speaker 1: at all, I promise this, Yeah, your brain would be like,
• 1:25:39
  Speaker 1: oh my god, like are we on the same page
• 1:25:41
  Speaker 1: about how to raise this kid? Like yeah, yep, And
• 1:25:43
  Speaker 1: that would be anxious and emotional for you. So I
• 1:25:45
  Speaker 1: think that's both and right, Like, yeah, the hormones do matter.
• 1:25:49
  Speaker 1: Pregnancy is a real stage of life. It is fundamentally
• 1:25:52
  Speaker 1: different than your baseline stage of life. You shouldn't be
• 1:25:55
  Speaker 1: able to trust all of your impressions and your feelings.
• 1:25:57
  Speaker 1: I think it's remind yourself that feelings are probably not
• 1:25:59
  Speaker 1: fat and yet if that doesn't relieve you of them,
• 1:26:04
  Speaker 1: I think it's okay to encounter them. And I would
• 1:26:06
  Speaker 1: hope that you can tell like the people in your
• 1:26:07
  Speaker 1: life that you go to for your support, like, hey,
• 1:26:11
  Speaker 1: there are times when you telling me it's just my
• 1:26:13
  Speaker 1: pregnancy brain is somewhat reassuring. There's also times when it
• 1:26:16
  Speaker 1: feels dismissive. It's like yelling calm down, and somebody who's
• 1:26:19
  Speaker 1: scared that just won't help them. So, like, if your
• 1:26:22
  Speaker 1: goal is to relieve me of the units of distress
• 1:26:25
  Speaker 1: that I'm experiencing, I need you to respond to me
• 1:26:27
  Speaker 1: differently and giving that advice to your helpers. Here's what
• 1:26:30
  Speaker 1: I need from you. I need you to listen to me.
• 1:26:32
  Speaker 1: I need you to go to the fucking store and
• 1:26:33
  Speaker 1: get me some corn beef for if a pregnant woman's
• 1:26:36
  Speaker 1: crying that you didn't get her the food, or like
• 1:26:38
  Speaker 1: she doesn't have the food, there's only one solution, go
• 1:26:41
  Speaker 1: get it. Yeah, we're not going to talk about it anymore,
• 1:26:43
  Speaker 1: like you're getting a fucking big mac, Like this is
• 1:26:45
  Speaker 1: happening right now. Anyway, we did pretty good on that guys.
• 1:26:50
  Speaker 1: You know, I like it. They said we couldn't be done.
• 1:26:52
  Speaker 1: We can knock that one out. We just keep winning.
• 1:26:54
  Speaker 1: We don't even need Nick. He probably just would have
• 1:26:57
  Speaker 1: who Yeah, fucked that guy.
• 1:26:59
  Speaker 2: I had years and years ago. Actually, I need to
• 1:27:02
  Speaker 2: address this very carefully. This is not any show that
• 1:27:07
  Speaker 2: I am currently working on. Okay, and it is not
• 1:27:10
  Speaker 2: being run by any company that I am an affiliate
• 1:27:13
  Speaker 2: with in any way whatsoever.
• 1:27:16
  Speaker 1: Theists. Yeah.
• 1:27:18
  Speaker 2: So there was this live show that I was working on,
• 1:27:20
  Speaker 2: and I had an assistant on this show, and one
• 1:27:23
  Speaker 2: day I get a call from like one of the bosses.
• 1:27:28
  Speaker 2: It's like, hey, you got to come to this meeting
• 1:27:31
  Speaker 2: your assistant. There's a disciplinary meeting for your assistant. And
• 1:27:35
  Speaker 2: you you were there direct person, so you got to
• 1:27:38
  Speaker 2: be there. So I get there and a performer in
• 1:27:42
  Speaker 2: the show who is pregnant, who is still in the show,
• 1:27:46
  Speaker 2: she's not left the show yet for her maternity leave.
• 1:27:51
  Speaker 2: She had filed a complaint against him because he I
• 1:27:56
  Speaker 2: don't remember what the scenario was exactly, but she said
• 1:28:01
  Speaker 2: something to him that she needed for the show, and
• 1:28:04
  Speaker 2: he used the words hysterical and pregnancy brain in his response,
• 1:28:11
  Speaker 2: explaining to her that she didn't need it. And now
• 1:28:15
  Speaker 2: that's bad enough, and that's stupid enough as it is.
• 1:28:19
  Speaker 1: Oh God, with.
• 1:28:20
  Speaker 2: The exception of me, every one.
• 1:28:24
  Speaker 1: Of his bosses was a woman.
• 1:28:26
  Speaker 2: Oh oh wow, I was the only male in the room.
• 1:28:32
  Speaker 2: There were six people not including him in the room.
• 1:28:36
  Speaker 1: Oh this is great.
• 1:28:37
  Speaker 2: That were all like above him and like there are
• 1:28:41
  Speaker 2: bosses in the room that don't deal with him because
• 1:28:43
  Speaker 2: because they are far enough above him that they don't
• 1:28:45
  Speaker 2: even know who this guy is.
• 1:28:47
  Speaker 1: But they're in this meeting. I'm imagining him looking at
• 1:28:49
  Speaker 1: you with these pleading eyes of like.
• 1:28:51
  Speaker 2: And I'm just sitting there going like, I don't know
• 1:28:53
  Speaker 2: what the fuck you think. I'm gonna gonna drown today, buddy,
• 1:28:57
  Speaker 2: I don't know if I want to help you.
• 1:28:59
  Speaker 1: I know that I can't. I'm not going to marry you.
• 1:29:05
  Speaker 1: I'm not I'm gonna sit here.
• 1:29:07
  Speaker 3: Quietly and stare out the windows.
• 1:29:10
  Speaker 2: I'm going to ask questions that get I'm going to
• 1:29:12
  Speaker 2: answer questions that are asked of me.
• 1:29:14
  Speaker 1: And I guess if I have a question fifty to
• 1:29:18
  Speaker 1: fifty and whether or not I'll ask it. Oh man,
• 1:29:20
  Speaker 1: you're just staying the hell out of the destruction zone.
• 1:29:22
  Speaker 2: Why there were like questions coming to me that was
• 1:29:25
  Speaker 2: like do you find this to be appropriate behavior?
• 1:29:29
  Speaker 1: Oh? And it's things like well no.
• 1:29:32
  Speaker 2: No, no, further answer complete sentences and then like that
• 1:29:39
  Speaker 2: and then look back at him and be like, see
• 1:29:42
  Speaker 2: he says it's not appropriate, right, And I'm just like,
• 1:29:45
  Speaker 2: I would love.
• 1:29:47
  Speaker 1: To not be here.
• 1:29:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, can you just conversation, Jacob.
• 1:29:50
  Speaker 1: Do you feel like this is appropriate behavior? What a
• 1:29:53
  Speaker 1: hysterical thing to ask?
• 1:29:55
  Speaker 3: You know?
• 1:29:55
  Speaker 1: Just god? Cool it. I am still to figure out
• 1:30:00
  Speaker 1: why you're all yelling. Also, none of you brought me
• 1:30:05
  Speaker 1: a coffee? Huh not one?
• 1:30:07
  Speaker 2: Just okay, can't help but notice lack of sandwiches to
• 1:30:12
  Speaker 2: put some makeup on. I guess lack of sandwiches most people,
• 1:30:17
  Speaker 2: if they're gonna have a group of people around the
• 1:30:19
  Speaker 2: table that put out like a marble rye or something.
• 1:30:23
  Speaker 1: I mean, I came to your house because you're how
• 1:30:27
  Speaker 1: hard is it?
• 1:30:29
  Speaker 3: You know?
• 1:30:30
  Speaker 1: I guess your mothers didn't teach you know, civility. We're
• 1:30:34
  Speaker 1: gonna take quick break, and when we come back, we're
• 1:30:35
  Speaker 1: ending the show. You're listening to pod therapy. Today's show
• 1:30:40
  Speaker 1: is brought to you by Judis Schnyder, Leon Gasab, Carolyn Albert,
• 1:30:42
  Speaker 1: Sammy Scoop, Sarah Smith, Mike Helms, Darren Cunningham, Grat, Max Ginger, Scoop,
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  Speaker 1: like to sponsor our show? Go to patreon dot com
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• 1:30:56
  Speaker 1: read every single well. As we wrap up the show,
• 1:31:00
  Speaker 1: one remind you go to patreon dot com slash therapy
• 1:31:03
  Speaker 1: and you can actually watch us on YouTube. You'll get
• 1:31:06
  Speaker 1: the special unlisted link if you're at the Therapod level
• 1:31:09
  Speaker 1: and higher except.
• 1:31:10
  Speaker 3: What what is he doing here knows?
• 1:31:14
  Speaker 1: You'll also get access to our Hey, what do you
• 1:31:16
  Speaker 1: call this nine year library? I don't know, another one
• 1:31:22
  Speaker 1: nine year library of different kinds of deep dives, research,
• 1:31:26
  Speaker 1: all sorts of fun extra stuff, different side tangents, projects
• 1:31:29
  Speaker 1: we've done. Check it out. It's all there. The instant
• 1:31:32
  Speaker 1: that you go to patreon dot com slash therapy, you'll
• 1:31:34
  Speaker 1: have all of that, and you'll get our extended show
• 1:31:36
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  Speaker 1: the same app that you're listening to us right now,
• 1:31:41
  Speaker 1: or watch it on YouTube. If you prefer do what
• 1:31:43
  Speaker 1: you want to do what you want, we're going to
• 1:31:45
  Speaker 1: tell you what to do. Unless you're a woman, then
• 1:31:46
  Speaker 1: you need a little bit. Then do what we tell
• 1:31:50
  Speaker 1: you to do. Go down patreon dot com slash therapy
• 1:31:53
  Speaker 1: and enjoy that. By way of the end of the show,
• 1:31:56
  Speaker 1: we have a nice note that was sent to a
• 1:31:58
  Speaker 1: nice note. This is high Guy Guy. I've been doing
• 1:32:00
  Speaker 1: a lot of reflecting lately following the death of John C. Devoric.
• 1:32:06
  Speaker 1: It is a I looked this person up. John C.
• 1:32:09
  Speaker 1: Borick was a long term radio host and podcast guy
• 1:32:13
  Speaker 1: I specialize in tech reporting. Oh nice, and the writer says,
• 1:32:16
  Speaker 1: it is such a strangely profound feeling to grieve someone
• 1:32:19
  Speaker 1: you've never actually met yet, who has been a consistent
• 1:32:22
  Speaker 1: weekly presence in your life for over twenty years. To
• 1:32:25
  Speaker 1: have a voice that familiar suddenly gone is jarring, and
• 1:32:28
  Speaker 1: it made me realize I shouldn't wait to reach out
• 1:32:31
  Speaker 1: and tell you all how much you mean to me.
• 1:32:33
  Speaker 1: I really just wanted to write in to say how
• 1:32:35
  Speaker 1: much I enjoy the show and how deeply I appreciate
• 1:32:38
  Speaker 1: the work you do. It is always a highlight of
• 1:32:40
  Speaker 1: my week to hear you goof off in the Patreon section.
• 1:32:44
  Speaker 1: Beyond the laughs, the show has such broad appeal and
• 1:32:47
  Speaker 1: genuinely helps people in real life. Your conversations are incredibly
• 1:32:51
  Speaker 1: thought provoking and have helped me navigate some tough situations
• 1:32:54
  Speaker 1: in the past. Please keep up the good work. My
• 1:32:57
  Speaker 1: best to you all. Philip K thank you, Phil. That's
• 1:33:02
  Speaker 1: really very kind. That is very nice. Of you.
• 1:33:04
  Speaker 2: I know what you mean. I remember when the when
• 1:33:06
  Speaker 2: the car Talk guys, yeah, and I had just been
• 1:33:11
  Speaker 2: hearing them every week for years. Yeah, you know, my
• 1:33:15
  Speaker 2: entire my entire childhood, Like if it was, you know,
• 1:33:17
  Speaker 2: Sunday morning in the car, my parents had the radio
• 1:33:20
  Speaker 2: on on car Talk.
• 1:33:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:33:21
  Speaker 2: And I remember like when they stopped doing it, I
• 1:33:23
  Speaker 2: was like, this is weird. I don't know these guys.
• 1:33:25
  Speaker 1: I listened to wait, wait, don't tell me the Trivia
• 1:33:28
  Speaker 1: Show and they have Carl Castle. Oh yeah, yeah, longtime
• 1:33:32
  Speaker 1: radio man, newsman, and he's their emeritus guys, the keeper
• 1:33:36
  Speaker 1: or whatever, and he just reads the beginning of the show.
• 1:33:39
  Speaker 1: It just announces, you know, the host or whatever. And
• 1:33:41
  Speaker 1: before him was another like really famous guy and he
• 1:33:44
  Speaker 1: replaced him, but like he recently retired and he's like
• 1:33:47
  Speaker 1: in his nineties, okay, and I just remember like, oh no,
• 1:33:50
  Speaker 1: like I'm just so used to hearing that guy's voice. Yeah,
• 1:33:52
  Speaker 1: you know, And so there he goes. And I love
• 1:33:55
  Speaker 1: this letter because it's it's really true, like you just
• 1:33:57
  Speaker 1: developed that relationship with people, and it's like I just
• 1:34:00
  Speaker 1: think it'll be there forever. But this show will end
• 1:34:02
  Speaker 1: probably today. I mean ship Nick's gone. We're already one
• 1:34:05
  Speaker 1: foot up the door. We close the store, Yeah, you
• 1:34:08
  Speaker 1: know so too much.
• 1:34:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because the sales were flying up.
• 1:34:14
  Speaker 1: We couldn't keep up with demand. Close the store too
• 1:34:17
  Speaker 1: much interest.
• 1:34:19
  Speaker 3: I feel like this is going to be this.
• 1:34:21
  Speaker 1: Is centric billionaire. I'd closed it.
• 1:34:24
  Speaker 2: Why Stickers, We knew something was up.
• 1:34:29
  Speaker 1: Nobody has shopped in that store in years, and now
• 1:34:31
  Speaker 1: you've lost the chance. Okay, shame on all of you.
• 1:34:34
  Speaker 1: You'll have to listen for the special password, and when
• 1:34:36
  Speaker 1: we eventually open up the store for like one week,
• 1:34:38
  Speaker 1: it's gonna be your one chance to commit all the
• 1:34:40
  Speaker 1: fraud you can. But we'd like to think the benevolent, revered, generous,
• 1:34:43
  Speaker 1: and flagrantly pro Therapy Diehard who loves you all so
• 1:34:46
  Speaker 1: much they give till it hurts, our Therap partner pickt.
• 1:34:49
  Speaker 1: And we want to think our bosses, the mysterious and
• 1:34:51
  Speaker 1: shrouded Illuminati, members of the fan club, our Therap producers,
• 1:34:54
  Speaker 1: Thank you, Jake Schneider, Myra, Robert Brownie, Junior, Mint Smithy
• 1:34:57
  Speaker 1: Scuprichard Fucking Macy, Judy Schneid, Malia, Leon Cassab, Carolyn Albert,
• 1:35:02
  Speaker 1: Kevin Chamberlain, Tess Miller, Dan Martin, Sammy Scoop, Slurpy Kaye, Motherfucker,
• 1:35:07
  Speaker 1: Ben Stanley, Slap in your Face, Sarah Smith, Adam Hathaway,
• 1:35:10
  Speaker 1: Builer t Mike helm Oscar swanros paris A Sunny Boy,
• 1:35:14
  Speaker 1: Darren Cunningham, Lib Sandra mcwaffle, Team Monaco, Thunder Cougar, Falcon, Scoop,
• 1:35:19
  Speaker 1: Hey O Hanna, Marie Andrew Lang, Mead, Emma Tonka and
• 1:35:23
  Speaker 1: Pony Soprano, Alina Brady, Malaychick Chick Fileratio Gabriela Dame, Sean Sutherland,
• 1:35:28
  Speaker 1: Max the Ginger, Scoop, Chad mag Adam Warren, Inkle Of Prince,
• 1:35:31
  Speaker 1: Sam Cone, big A, Do Crimes, l e Odare Not,
• 1:35:35
  Speaker 1: Kira Knightley, Amy Ardvark, Edgar Allen poul Hoe and Dale
• 1:35:39
  Speaker 1: the King. And if you'd like to hear this episode
• 1:35:41
  Speaker 1: uncut and unedited and and enjoy a spontaneous side projects,
• 1:35:45
  Speaker 1: you go to patreon dot com slash therapy and thank
• 1:35:48
  Speaker 1: you for supporting mental health. That's all the time I
• 1:35:50
  Speaker 1: got for this week's session. I want to thank Sja
• 1:35:52
  Speaker 1: and the ruck As, Scenic Coy Pond Studio, Slash your Mom, Yeah,
• 1:35:56
  Speaker 1: your Mom Studios, and thanks those of you who contributed
• 1:35:59
  Speaker 1: to our show today, we do appreciate it. Remember, pot
• 1:36:02
  Speaker 1: therapy isn't something to keep all your self shit. The
• 1:36:04
  Speaker 1: episode with the world tag us on the socials when
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• 1:36:19
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• 1:36:24
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• 1:36:27
  Speaker 1: to our anonymous Google form.
• 1:36:29
  Speaker 4: I'm Jim, I'm Whitney, I'm doctor Jacob.
• 1:36:33
  Speaker 1: Therapy. We'll see if your appointment next week.
• 1:36:37
  Speaker 3: Guess what my hat says, geez, and I.
• 1:36:42
  Speaker 1: Want people in the discord to try to mind we
• 1:36:45
  Speaker 1: read it. Then the answer no one anyway, that's true. Goodbye.
• 1:36:51
  Speaker 3: At one point, okay, okay, I was hoping. I was like,
• 1:36:53
  Speaker 3: I wonder if they'll do Bill