Latest / TWRS-Leadership Straight, No Chaser / How Clarity Changes Your Leadership
Transcript
- Scott: You are prepared instead of dealing with chaos and trying to catch the train. Welcome back to Together We Are Stronger, Leadership Straight, No Chasers. And today we have Colin Cassius on with us. Colin, I was looking at your one sheep and you said it wasn't really a rock bottom piece because a lot of times when we talk to guests, there's usually a rock bottom piece Colin Casillas: That's okay. Scott: that comes into play. But for yourself, in regards to George R Dovolis: Mmm. Scott: the sobriety piece, what was it for you really where it's like, something's gotta change? And then when you look at high level leaders that you work with, where are they missing that when it comes to this change that you discovered for yourself? Colin Casillas: Yeah, great question. So it was a culmination over time, which you know, the more I share my story, others can relate and relate very George R Dovolis: Mm-hmm. Colin Casillas: well. In that, as I was mentioning to George earlier, I started my professional career at Best Buy Corporate many, many years ago. and back then, I always like to joke that everyone referred to it as an adult Disneyland. Okay, and what that meant in short. The PG version was that we worked hard and played hard. So as a very impressionable, say mid-20-year-old, that stuck with me. I'm like, I can get behind that. I can work hard. I can I can play hard. And that was the environment that you know I first experienced as a very young professional. And experienced that for many years, you know, at Best Buy, and you know, saw some signs of what the bad side of alcohol looks like. And you know, there's some very eye-opening experiences I had. I can still recall, I can still smell the event of when my manager George R Dovolis: Hmm Colin Casillas: came in and just reeked of alcohol and cigarette smoke. And this was a common occurrence. It wasn't just him. There were many like that. Excuse me. And I remember thinking, man, this is this is something else, you know. But as a 24-year-old at the time, George R Dovolis: Yeah. Colin Casillas: it kind of went in one year and not the other, and I carried on with my career best buy. Eventually getting into sales. And then it was when I really started to establish myself as an enterprise seller in the technology industry, was where what I experienced at Best Buy looked like child's play. in that, you know, it's all about happy hours, it's all about vendor meetups and client dinners and who can order the most expensive George R Dovolis: Yes Colin Casillas: bottle of wine. Well, it doesn't just stop with one bottle of wine, right? And So, what I've seen over time, Scott and George, is just you know how this impacts individuals, both at the individual contributor level, leaders, and even board members. And you know, I just a couple of years ago saw a coworker of mine completely passed out in the elevator. And you know, that was one of the moments as I started to think about this years ago, I'm like, this is not I don't want to be a part of that, right? I I was George R Dovolis: Yeah. Colin Casillas: always controlled. I wasn't the one passing out in elevators, thankfully. But I was still a part of it. I was still a part George R Dovolis: Yeah. Yes. Colin Casillas: of it. I was still the part of the part of the happy hour. So as I started to reflect on things, I'm like, am I being the best version of myself professionally? Am I being the best husband I can be? Am I being the best father I can be? Am I being the best son I can be? And the answer was a resounding no. So I really started to reflect on things. It would have been about six years ago, to the extent I actually went out and purchased a close colleagues of mine book that he had wrote on sobriety and getting sober. And at that point in time, I hadn't told anybody, even my wife. I just kind of started thinking about this. What would life look like without alcohol? And that went on for many years. and it's part of the mental preparation, thus the name prepared sobriety. that at the time I had no idea. I was essentially formulating what I now call my five stage my five phase framework. And the more I tell this story over the past year, year and a half, the more people are like, you gotta go out there and share this because there are a lot of people that can relate to that. So that's a little bit of background for you. Scott: Yeah, no, I think it's a I was gonna say it's an interesting George R Dovolis: All you know, go ahead. Go ahead, Scott. Scott: thing because like alcohol is like it it it's one that everybody's like, I can't wait for the weekend. This is what I'm gonna drink, I'm gonna look forward to Colin Casillas: Mm-hmm. Scott: this. Like for myself, like if I do drink, I'm like, I'll drink at the house because you got out to drink, it's so expensive. But people don't realize how much that can impact like finances. The other interesting thing though is is like you had talked about being your best self. I was listening to somebody and they were talking about how alcohol can affect you up to seventy two hours after you get done drinking. And so if you think about that, you're like, Well, I'm fine. Colin Casillas: Mm-hmm. Scott: And then that third day you're like, Why am I all out of whack? Well, if you George R Dovolis: Mmm. Scott: understand the science and you go research, George R Dovolis: Well. Scott: that impacts you. And so it is a very interesting thing how people really don't do the deep dive, they don't look and then they wonder why they're not showing up as their best best George R Dovolis: you Scott: and then they're stuck because they're like I just don't know what to do. And then the other thing is also the fact of, I'm okay. And there's something that I want to ask later, but it's just the fact that people just don't realize the impact of alcohol, but it's like, I just need this to to take the edge off. Anything of that nature. It it's a wild thing. Colin Casillas: Mm. That's right. Indeed. Yep. George R Dovolis: You know and and why you're building You know you're saying that life looked really successful outside But when you start beginning when did you really sense that man? Alcohol might be not it's quietly holding me back to grow When did you really see that happening? Colin Casillas: Yeah, you know, I would say six years ago. I always kind of put that flag poll in 2019. And George R Dovolis: Okay. Colin Casillas: the reason I say 2019 is because even years leading up to 2019, you know, I wanted to be a better father. I wanted to lead by example. George R Dovolis: Yes. Colin Casillas: I actually went back to school to get my MBA at Boise State. graduated in 2021. Why did I do that? In part because I wanted to further my education, but hands down, I wanted to show my kids that you're never too old to learn, right? And so as I really started to reflect on that in school, business school really makes you look inward. It makes you ask yourself the tough questions. Truly reflect on how your actions are impacting others. And so school is a catalyst for that change as well to say, look, You know, I am not my best self. I've been a George R Dovolis: Mm-hmm. Colin Casillas: top performer. I haven't hit rock bottom. I'm home every night. I'm not at the bar with my buddies. but I know that it's holding me back. And how do I know that, Scott? To your point, you know, days after your last sip of alcohol, it is still impacting your body, your brain. And for me, it was both. you know, I I had stomach issues every weekend for years. every Monday I'd show up and I would be working, but I couldn't consider myself truly productive, at least in the sense I knew I could be. And so as this goes on, you know, with that flagpole, George, to your point, when was it? You know, it was 2019. I kind of set that flagpole on the ground. I said, okay, I really need to start looking at this and planning for what life is gonna look like without alcohol. And that's the the first stage, if you will. What I call imagination, where I I vividly remember what am I gonna do with my wife instead of going to a brewery? What am I gonna do with my wife instead of wine date night? And I George R Dovolis: Yes. Colin Casillas: started envisioning or imagining, you know, let's we'll go to a coffee shop instead, right? We will go for a walk instead. And I bring up walk because again, circling back to Scott's point on how it impacts you days after. Every Monday night, my walking my wife and I would go for a walk after work. She's also in technology sales like myself. And I remember being crabby every Monday. And for years George R Dovolis: Mmm. Colin Casillas: I was like, why is this? Is it work? I blamed it on work. but what I'll come to find out is it wasn't work. It was that hangover effect. Even though I wasn't I couldn't classify myself as truly being hungover, it absolutely was impacting me, it was impacting my mood. and how I reacted and and and was around other individuals and the the ones that are closest to you, that's when it really starts to hit home like, man, this George R Dovolis: Yeah. Colin Casillas: is not who I want to be. George R Dovolis: That was my, that was, that was a question that I have for you. Since you were preparing for that six years, you post the poll in 2019 and you're given a what in, you know, what was going on internally with you and the changes that you're making the fight. Cause you know, I haven't drank in two years and, there's that time is that, I'd love to have a whiskey and, or it's that temptation. And so that internal fight, man, that had to be something that you had to deal with. Colin Casillas: Yeah, mean yeah, I look back, you know, those six years from nineteen to twenty twenty-five, sp George R Dovolis: Yeah. Colin Casillas: specifically April twenty twenty five, it was a struggle. 'Cause I you know, I I played around with and I tried to manage things by way of moderation. I think some people could do George R Dovolis: Yes. Colin Casillas: that. My wife is a perfect example. She could have one glass of wine, even a half glass, and be done. I'm like, well, I got one glass, I'm gonna have two, three, right? That's just the way I was always wired. And so practicing moderation didn't work for me. So I'm like, all right, again, because I haven't hit rock bottom and I never classified myself as an alcoholic. I don't use it in any of my my any of my verbiage, you won't see it anywhere on my website. George R Dovolis: Now. Colin Casillas: I wanted to find a different way, and that's why I was, you know, in real try in real time trying to manage through this. And It ultimately got to a point where I had a forcing function. I had a compelling event. And that forcing function for me happened to be surgery. And you know, I had to stop drinking two weeks out. So that was April 16th of 2025. And so when I stopped, literally two days later, I had buddies from Colorado coming out to visit. And those are party buddies. And you know, they showed up and I told them, look, you know, I've got surgery, I can't drink. So that was a obviously legit reason and they didn't give me any crap about that. But at that point in time, I remember telling them, you know what, this isn't that bad. I might be done. And it's interesting because I the response I got from them was not like, come on, you're you're never gonna be done drinking. George R Dovolis: Hell. Colin Casillas: It was actually, you know, I've thought about that as well. Or the other buddy said, I've cut back significantly and I don't have nearly the amount to drink I I did back in the day when you were living in Denver, Colin. And so that's really eye-opening. When you are open, transparent, and vulnerable to folks, the the reactions have been nothing but positive. I can't tell you one person that I've shared my story with or told them about what we've discussed here tonight, where they've said, That sucks that you're not drinking, you know, you're George R Dovolis: Now. Colin Casillas: missing out. So yeah, it it's been really powerful. George R Dovolis: That's an incredible story and I know that you choose the word retirement instead of quitting, stopping, or becoming sober, you know? And I love how you created that word retirement. Colin Casillas: Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's it's it's I'm glad we brought that up, George. So you know I didn't like I don't like the word alcoholic, and I don't like the word quit, right? You know, it sounds like we're all collectively in sports. you know, Scott, you in the service. You know, but you always try to avert avoid that word quit, right? And George R Dovolis: Yes. Colin Casillas: for me, I was like, all right, I'm not gonna quit, you know, alcohol. What am I what am I gonna do? Stop alcohol? Like that sounds kind of lame. You know what? I'm gonna retire from alcohol. Use it as kind of a sports analogy, right? And it stuck. And when I told my wife, who by the way, these six years going back 2019, nobody knew about it. Nobody knew I was thinking about this. Come April 16th, nobody knew that I was likely done. and then when I eventually told my wife a couple weeks later, she didn't even believe me. But at that point in time, when I started to tell people, you know what, I'm done. I've retired from alcohol, it just stuck and I've been using it ever since. George R Dovolis: That's incredible. Scott: So I have to highlight one of our partners, ADP. Really, this is one that's retiring doing the back end work as a business owner because that's not what you got into business for. So ADP is here to help you out with HR payroll compliance. And as a business owner, if you're trying to do all that and that's not in your wheelhouse, you need to reach out to ADP, have a conversation George R Dovolis: Mm-hmm. Scott: with them, see what they can do to help you be in your zone of genius. And so there's a couple of things here. The first thing is when you had talked about your group of friends coming out. And you had highlighted, hey, this is what I'm thinking. It was kind of setting the stage to give permission to others. And it's such a wild thing how sometimes it it's that courageous act of saying something to have others open up and say, Yes, I'm thinking of doing the same thing, but without having that opening, nobody takes the leap. And so it is a very Colin Casillas: Mm-hmm. George R Dovolis: Mmm. Scott: interesting thing how it's just one person, but it's that courageous act, I g you could call it courageous because You just don't know what people are gonna say, but because you showed up and you're showing up differently, you give that space to somebody else to say, Yes, this is something that I wanna do, but I didn't want to say anything because I didn't know I didn't want to get judged. I didn't know what other people George R Dovolis: Mm-hmm. Scott: were gonna say. And so it is a very interesting thing if people really think about it. Show up, give people the the space, but have the courage to speak out. Do whatever it is and not judge yourself because you never know who you miss out on by Sharing shorting yourself, not showing up and not speaking up. Colin Casillas: Mm. I'll try it, Scott. Absolutely. George R Dovolis: You know, becoming alcohol free. But you changed your way of preparing for meetings and handling pressure different, you know, communication with clients that did. Did you see a massive difference when you switched to being completely clean? Colin Casillas: Tell you what, it is I I joke around my wife all the time that I might be on the spectrum now, and it's because my brain is in all I is just off the charts. I can't sometimes I can't even explain it, and it's George R Dovolis: Okay. Colin Casillas: it's it's it's empowering, it's like a superhero power that I all of a sudden have, and I can't tell you exactly when I started to experience it. So if I had a guess, it's just been compounding over time since I retired. And actually call that, you retire that last phase, phase five, if you will, of retirement, that instead of the compounding friction that you realize in stage three, now you're compounding the other way in a positive way. It just continue George R Dovolis: Okay. Colin Casillas: the positive aspects, the health improvements continue to compound in a positive way over time. And the thought, the clarity, the ability to really think stri strategically and critically. I never knew I had the capabilities I had until I retired. Like that I and again, I've been very successful in sales. you know, more times than not I'm hitting or exceeding my number on an annual basis. But now it's like a whole different level. George R Dovolis: Mmm. Colin Casillas: And it's it's something I really you know try to tell folks when they're thinking about this that you know, look and most of the people I talk to are are like yourselves, right? They're they're very They're hiring professionals, they've been doing what they've been doing for a long time. They're entrepreneurs and they're very successful. But a lot of folks that you know are are drinking, they're they're realizing by way of conversations like what we're having today, other conversations, you know, you see George R Dovolis: Yeah. Colin Casillas: it everywhere on Instagram and TikTok, and you know, what could I do without alcohol? And it I cannot tell you enough how much better my life is in that regard. I mean, my life's better in every aspect, but when it comes to Thinking it is insane. George R Dovolis: That's incredible, man. That's incredible. Scott: So right now, if you're getting nuggets from the video, hit the like button. If you're looking for these types of videos, hit the subscribe button. And right now, if you're stuck, you've got to do a deep dive. You gotta say, okay, what is it that's causing me to be stuck? because that's an inner piece that really it's up to you. You've got to decide, you've got to pull back and really determine to say, okay, this is what I need to change so I can move forward. So, Colin, the the interesting thing when you talked about how kind of your brain became your superpower, having that clarity piece. The the interesting thing is by having that sobr sobriety being in the moment, being present, how clear your decisions are able to be made. Because the thing is, like George and I talked, one of the foundational pieces that a lot of business owners overlook is the power of clarity. Because with clarity, that's your filtering system to make sure that you're taking on things that are going to benefit your business, benefit yourself. Or you can look and say, okay, is this going to distract me? Is this going to derail me? Is this going to make me get further away from what I'm trying to accomplish? And so with that, what you had shared there is by having that clarity piece, being in the moment, you really can make those strategic decisions and say, Yes, this is what we need to do, or this is what needs to take place, or no, let's push this aside. But the thing is, is your brain is being altered. It's a chemical. And so by having that alteration of the brain, Are you making clear decisions? Are you going through your filtering system to make sure you're doing what's best for you, your business to really impact the people that you're meant to impact? Colin Casillas: Mm-hmm. That's right. And Andrew Huberman talks about that at length. a Stanford professor. if you haven't watched the episode on the impact of alcohol by Andrew Huberman, I I highly advise doing so. He gets into the science behind it, Scott, to some of the points. I I'm not a scientist, don't claim to be. I'm not that smart. I can only speak anecdotally to what I've experienced, but he really digs into the science and fundamentals behind some of the things you just mentioned, George R Dovolis: Hmm. Colin Casillas: Scott. And it's It's truly remarkable. And I'll say too, you know, we are collectively of the age, I'll say, where you know, when we were growing up, we didn't have the ability to have information at our fingertips like we do today. So George R Dovolis: Yeah. Colin Casillas: what does that mean? That means we just went off of what people told us, what society told us. And I will say, at almost 52 years old, I didn't ru truly realize the detrimental effects that alcohol is indeed poison until I was in my, I'm embarrassed to say, until I was in my late forties. Right. And a lot of that was because I just believed what had been put in front of me ever since I picked up my first drink when I was in my late teens, in that alcohol in moderation's okay. Matter of fact, if you have a glass of wine, it's even good for you, it's good for your heart. I bought into that narrative. And it wasn't until I started really contemplating my relationship with alcohol where I started to dig in and my gosh, George R Dovolis: Yeah. Colin Casillas: it it is indeed a poison, right? George R Dovolis: That's that is crazy. I mean, what does your family say your children probably notice that you listen to them differently, right? The relationship with your parents, the people that care and love you, no matter what you went through. And share that you know what you see the difference now and Colin Casillas: Yeah. George R Dovolis: what's going on in your retirement. Colin Casillas: Yeah, it's man, there's so much there I could share. let's start with my kids. you know, my daughter, she'll be seventeen next week, gonna be a senior here in Boise High. T time goes by so fast, let me say George R Dovolis: Yes it does. Colin Casillas: it's unbelievable. but one of the things that you know her sh the two of us have talked about is that you know I no longer fly off the handle. You know, and and that is emotional IQ through and through that is altered, George R Dovolis: Yes. Colin Casillas: Scott, to your point, right? From a just from a brain perspective. You know, emotional IQ is absolutely impacted when you are consuming alcohol. And you know, I I yes I did fly off the handle often and quite a bit. And now well I get frustrated with kids. Absolutely they're kids, right? But I no longer fly off the handle. It's more of a empathetic approach. I I still have rules, right? The rules are the rules, but instead of flying off the handle, I seek to understand. George R Dovolis: Yeah. Colin Casillas: And you know, that's really powerful. And the kids, you know, see it. The kids are more you know, kids don't like hanging out with parents when they are 17 and 20. but I George R Dovolis: Mm-hmm. Colin Casillas: think our kids do a really good job now of hanging out with us. And my wife has said she 100% attributes that to you know being being retired from alcohol. And You know, the kids no longer being worried about walking around on eggshells, you know, with me. And so that is something that's changed significantly. And I really can't wait. I shouldn't say I can't wait. I don't want time to go by any faster. But as they start to become older and more mature, grow into true adults, you know, be able to sit back and reflect on things. because it's been nothing but positive. That's with the kids and my wife. I mean, that's a whole nother story, right? I mean, that's night day difference. We had a strong relationship. But now it's like it's through the roof, indescribable. and then I'll give you one more example as I'm just kind of rambling here, but one example, my dad had hip surgery. I grew up in Moline, Illinois, about two and a half hours east or west of Chicago. And my dad still lives there. My mom is down in Arizona where my sister is. My dad doesn't really have anybody to take care of him. He he'll be eighty this year. So in in good shape. But he's having hip surgery. He had nobody to really take care of him. So I flew back. This was in January. I flew back and I was supposed to be there Thursday through Tuesday. He was having surgery on Friday. I ended up being there through the following Thursday. But long story short, the amount of patience I had to practice with my dad having hip replacement surgery, I I it would have never have happened if I George R Dovolis: Hmm Colin Casillas: was still drinking. Why is that? There's there's several reasons. One, I would have had wine or beer or something there and that would have been my focus. Like, gosh, I can't wait for them to go to bed so I could have a beer or a glass of wine. And what I also found during that time, because there was a lot of quiet time, just the two of us, my dad and I, was that I was truly present. In the past, I can tell you whether it was my parents or my kids or my wife. Like I was always thinking about, are we doing happy hour tonight? Right. And if and if we are, how long we're gonna be there? And then you know, am I gonna have a cocktail when I come home? That was cons and that the last six years, that was what was on my mind almost all the time. George R Dovolis: Mmm. Colin Casillas: And so, you know, it kind of goes back to I I knew I needed to retire from alcohol, right? So anyways, I could yeah, I could go on and on, but those are a couple of stories that stand out. Scott: So I want to give another shout out to one of our other partners, Dr. Joey. And as a business owner, if you're struggling and you're between 150,000 to 3 million in revenue, you've tried George R Dovolis: Hmm. Scott: different things, you're constantly stuck, and you understand the power of revenue. The more revenue your business has, the more impact you can make. Or maybe your team's stuck. Dr. Joey is really adamant, really helping you overcome those blocks so that way you can make more revenue. your team be more productive. So if you're struggling with that, reach out to Dr. Joey show notes. We'll have a link. Schedule your call. Take the time to talk to him. So it's one of those things, Colin, that what you don't know is what you don't know. But the thing is is once you become aware of whatever it is, then it's up to you to do what you need to. And so I know you had highlighted a couple things of I being later in life and whatnot. But the thing is is like we're all on a journey. And so some of us George R Dovolis: Yep. Scott: get later on where we're like, okay, we start pulling back and we're like, okay, certain things to give up. But the thing is, is once you become aware of it though, that's where it's on you to do what you need to. But now if you're aware of it and you're not doing something, the only person you have to blame is yourself. You can't get mad at anybody else. But the thing is, is if you're aware, now what are you going to do? Colin Casillas: Mm-hmm. That's right. Awareness, you know, being able to truly reflect on what it is you're doing and the impact of alcohol in terms of what it is you're doing. And then I think Georgia touched on it, you know, the ability to be put be vulnerable. you know, the the ability to tell people your story and that vulnerability. Then it becomes pervasive with the people around you. It's like, holy cow. There are many other people that are are struggling George R Dovolis: Yes. Colin Casillas: or certainly thinking through this. And one of my close friends also happens to be a neighbor, I kind of look at him as a big brother. he retired from alcohol years before I did. So when I told him what I was going to be doing, he's like, You're gonna watch that people are really monitoring what you're doing and they're watching you. He's like, mark my word. And sure enough, the people that I have impacted indirectly, meaning I have not talked to them like what we're talking right now, I have not done a coaching session with them. They've simply observed me. And now they too are making changes. Like I tell you what, that is extremely rewarding. George R Dovolis: That is, yeah, it has to be, you know, and I ask these questions because I go to a lot of networking events I used to, and you know, alcohol is like the number one thing and being retired, how is that when you walk into a room that everyone's just having a great time? and you're sitting there going, mean, what's going through your mind? Because, know, there's listeners gotta be listening to this like, okay, we need to know what happens when you go through this. Colin Casillas: Yeah, so that there's a lot there to unpack. so when I started thinking about this, I think for a lot of people, they're afraid. Like I've been George R Dovolis: Yeah. Colin Casillas: doing this my whole adult life. And and then there's always a reason not to retire. I've got a wedding coming up, I've got a a buddy's birthday, I've got an event out in Vegas, right? You the list could go on and on and on, therefore I can't retire right now, right? And What I'll say with that is a lot of people get stuck in that routine of having an excuse and not following through or not committing to something. But once you George R Dovolis: Okay. Colin Casillas: realize the power of the mind, and you yourself saying, you know what, I need to put a stake in the ground, you'll be surprised at how much you can rally around that. And To give you an example, George, back to your point on the conventions and the George R Dovolis: yeah? Colin Casillas: vendor happy hours, conferences, you're absolutely right. That was one of the things, to my point, that I was scared of. I'm like, how George R Dovolis: Hmm. Colin Casillas: am I going to function at George R Dovolis: Yes. Colin Casillas: a vendor happy hour without a beer or a cocktail in my hand? How am I going to function being in sales at sales kickoff with the whole company there without having a cocktail in my hand? And so it scared me. Absolutely. I, by way of business school, found out and I knew I was an introvert, but I now know it through and through. I'm an ISTJ, so it just simply means I'm a true introvert. so that is real. And you know, finding that out, being retired from alcohol, it starts to make sense. Like I was leaning on alcohol to help me get out of that introvert shell. And but it was a false sense of confidence. George R Dovolis: Yeah. Colin Casillas: And so as nervous and as scared as I was to go back into those events without alcohol, George R Dovolis: Eww. Colin Casillas: what I've found is I am now even more confident without it, which is super empowering, right? The fact that I can show up to an event, not have to worry about having cocktails and not needing anything to supplement that. Right. And I think a lot people that I talk to are like, well, what can I supplement with? You know, I I don't smoke. Maybe I can have a cigarette. Like, no, don't do that. Yeah. what about a zen? I'm like, I don't recommend that. So and what people realize don't realize when they're contemplating this, when they're thinking through this, George R Dovolis: Yeah. Colin Casillas: is that you don't need those alternatives. And you don't realize you don't need them until you get in that situation. George R Dovolis: That's huge. And being on that. Colin Casillas: Yeah. but it's so but a funny part of that. It's it's I'll tell I'll tell you what's funny about that. So what do I drink instead? George R Dovolis: Well, mean, you know, because. Yeah, go ahead. Colin Casillas: People always say, what do you drink instead? I'm my sweet tooth has gone through the roof since retiring from alcohol. Thankfully I've not put on any weight because of that, but I have to manage that. The sweet tooth is out of control. My wife gives me a cough about all the time. So instead of drinking soda water, which would make sense, which would be healthier, I'm pounding Diet Cokes at these events. Well, what happens with that? Guess what? That diet co that Diet Coke goes right through you. So I'm going to the bathroom like George R Dovolis: yeah! Colin Casillas: in the middle of a sentence, you know, and talk with Scott at a conference or something. Like, Scott, so excuse me, I gotta go the right. So there's there's pros and cons, right? Because I'm just pounding Diet Cokes. George R Dovolis: I love it. mean, and you must make me people that are in that stage of trying to and that pressure, you know, of how do you how do they get really unstuck on that, you know, into that? When it comes down to drinking, we're all used to casually drinking, right? You Colin Casillas: Yeah. Yeah. George R Dovolis: have a beer, your buddies always do shots, whatever. And when you stop and you're retired, how does someone who's like, I need to stop, but the pressure's on? And how do you control that pressure so you don't go get hooked into it? Colin Casillas: Yeah, so a couple of things. When I talk with people, you know, initially, I'm trying to help them identify what stage they're in within my five-stage framework. George R Dovolis: Now. Colin Casillas: That could be imagination, it could be what I call identity drift, which is I don't like who I'm becoming, you know, the short-temperedness, George R Dovolis: Yes. Colin Casillas: right? it could be, you know, look, I'm starting to realize that I'm putting weight on, although my diet hasn't changed, I'm still working out like I've always worked out, what is going on? Or You know, worst case, I'm starting to see really bad tendencies of within myself that's compounding negative friction, if you will. They they could be anywhere within those first three stages. Or they could be further along in that I need to make a decision to quit. So it really depends George R Dovolis: Mmm. Colin Casillas: on where they're at. But what I one thing I took away from business school was the power of identifying triggers. You can apply that to any aspect in life. So I apply it to prepared sobriety. So someone approaches me and says, you know what, Colin? I've decided I'm gonna retire from drinking. I'm like, great. I've already started to you know move through what that's gonna look like for me. Like, fantastic. I realize that I need to set a date. So they might be in between what you stage three of compounding friction and stage four, which is the retirement date, if you will. They've set a date or they're attempting George R Dovolis: Yeah. Colin Casillas: to set a date. Now we're gonna start working on triggers. Okay, now you need to hold yourself accountable. If you have indeed set a date, or if it's just theoretical, you need to have some kind of compelling event to hold yourself accountable. And as you're working through this, make note of the triggers that caused you to reach out to me today. That could be I'm short-tempered with my kids. That could be I'm picking fights with my wife. Make note of when those situations happen and if you've had anything to drink or not. And start to make notes of when you haven't had something to drink versus when you have and what that starts to look like. And once they start to you know really get a vision behind that, that's when you really start to say, okay, this is something that I I no my notion, my idea that I do need to walk away from alcohol is indeed true. And here it is in plain sight, right? And and that's ultimately the goal of working through those triggers, both when you're not drinking versus when you are drinking. And that's how you help people along. Because without that, there's no roadmap. And it's not as simple as sip handing over a roadmap and saying, here you go. No, it you George R Dovolis: No. Colin Casillas: you have to work through it with people. George R Dovolis: Is that your five stage framework? Okay. Colin Casillas: Yeah, that's right. Mm-hmm. George R Dovolis: That's incredible. That's definitely, you know, it's, it's, you know, that, a lot of times when you meet successful professionals, probably their questions with their relationship with alcohol is barely talked about. they don't talk about it openly. They, they Colin Casillas: Yeah. George R Dovolis: don't say anything. And I, I can see why, because, you know, they're afraid to someone to say something differently, but there's Colin Casillas: yeah. George R Dovolis: people these days are starting to say, you know, I'm done. and taking that stand, taking that step. Colin Casillas: I was afraid to say something. And and why was it that I was afraid to say something? Because I was afraid that somebody would say, you know what, Colin, you're absolutely right. You do have a problem. And I wasn't George R Dovolis: Mmm. Colin Casillas: ready to face that. George R Dovolis: Yeah. Colin Casillas: And so, with that, you know, with that sense of pride that you have, that a lot of us have, right? you are looking for alternatives. You don't want to maybe check into this program or that program your program that's been around for a hundred some odd years you want to go somewhere different you want to have a different approach because you don't want to be labeled and I didn't want to be labeled and you know I think that's where a lot of people are like they don't know where to turn they don't know where to go George R Dovolis: Mm-hmm. Colin Casillas: and to your point George they certainly don't want people to know about it and that's the nice thing about you know any coaching that is in this realm you know, it's private, it's discreet, and that's the way it should be. And George R Dovolis: Yes. Colin Casillas: until that person is ready to, you know, come out and say, you know what, I I'm done. Now I'm looking for folks to rally around me and help support that. George R Dovolis: That's amazing. That's truly amazing. I know I'm taking the show over here over Scott, you know, it's just it because be being I'm very extroverted so I can go out. I'll have to drink. I'm already out Colin Casillas: Yeah. George R Dovolis: already. It doesn't, you know, doesn't do anything for me. I just like having cows drink. I don't drink anymore, but it's listening to what you've gone through. can really feel the passion and what you've gone through, you know, working by yourselves for six years and posting that poll in 2019. It's exactly what you're saying is you don't want to tell anybody because you don't want anybody give you crap about it. Be embarrassed, go right, I'm going to do this on my own, not let anyone know I'm going to have success. And I get to share this with others who are having the same thing and are going through the same thing. And I think that clarity piece that you bring the energy, the presence of that piece to, you know, your conversation. I think it's amazing. And I will ask you this. When time comes, Lord takes you home. What does your legacy, what would you like to see your legacy all about when that time comes? Colin Casillas: Yeah, I I mean, first and foremost, the only legacy I I care about is my family, right? My family. So George R Dovolis: Yeah. Colin Casillas: I I want my kids to remember me as, you know, being the father that I am today. And you know, so that is my mission is to be the best father that I can for the remaining years that I have on this earth. I want to be the best husband I can for the remaining George R Dovolis: No. Colin Casillas: years that I have on this earth. And I think that legacy, you know, that is what ultimately drives me. Now that we start to look at the broader legacy, it's also the ability to impact others and help them do this same thing. And so the the the more people I can touch, the more people I can help earn that value of life that they're they they aspire to live, you know, that's that would be the ultimate legacy. George R Dovolis: That's amazing. Really amazing. Scott: So Colin, I know you've shared you've shared the the framework a little bit and I know it it's one of those things like I highlighted, it's giving people the space to say, Yes, this is me. And this might be one of those things that really it's that piece of don't want to be judged. What are other people gonna say? And so if people wanted to learn more, kind of figure out what it is that you offer, where would that be for them to go to connect with you at a deeper level? Colin Casillas: Yeah, I mean websites very straightforward, prepared sobriety dot com. there's some good content in there. they can reach out to me directly on the website. That's that's the best spot. I also post every other day or so on Instagram. but I find people that you know, because of the people wanting to be discreet, because of people having that sense of pride, it's not like they're gonna be commenting on my Instagram reels, right? So they might be consuming the content there. But they ultimately are gonna wanna reach out directly and that the way to do that is prepared sobriety dot com. Scott: Yeah, we'll put that in the show notes so if anybody's looking, it's right there for But I think the other thing though too is by putting that content out there, they may not be the ones commenting, but loved ones, friends, people that know Colin Casillas: Try. Scott: others that are struggling, having that content that out there opens up the doors for them to say, Okay, cool, this might be something for you to explore. I truly love you, I care for you. So something just to think about. So it is a very interesting thing about how that content may not be resonating with the ideal client, but it connects with the people that are around them and then it opens up that door for them to share. So it it's a very unique thing when you look at content. But at the end of the day, as you're listening, if like it comes back, if you're stuck and you've tried different things, really you gotta look, is it motivation or is it inspiration? 'Cause if you're inspired to do something, you'll figure out a way to overcome. If you're driving George R Dovolis: I'm Scott: off of motivation, that's gonna drop and it's not gonna last. So But if you're living for these types of videos, hit the subscribe button. We appreciate you guys coming along on the journey with us. That'll be part of your journey, and we'll catch you on the next episode.