Latest / Suspense | Old Time Radio / Suspense - "The Customers Like Murder" (Old Time Radio, 1943)
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: March 2nd, 1943 brings us to Suspense, Episode 3, The
- 0:05Speaker 1: Customers Like Murder. In this tale, English mystery novelist Mr.
- 0:10Speaker 1: Hopstone and his secretary are drawn into a dangerous encounter
- 0:15Speaker 1: when Hopstone is mistaken for a doctor. The mistake places
- 0:19Speaker 1: them in the hands of criminals, and Hopstone must draw
- 0:22Speaker 1: on the practical side of the detective story imagination that
- 0:26Speaker 1: occupies his working life. John Dixon Carr wrote the original
- 0:31Speaker 1: radio play, with Roland Young as Hopstone and Peggy Conklin
- 0:35Speaker 1: as his secretary. John Dietz directed. We now take you
- 0:39Speaker 1: back to the original broadcast.
- 0:40Speaker 2: Suspense.
- 0:58Speaker 3: This is the man in black. Here again to introduce
- 1:02Speaker 3: Columbia's program, Suspense. Our distinguished star this evening is that
- 1:08Speaker 3: delightful gentleman, Mr. Roland Young, playing as author of detective
- 1:12Speaker 3: novels who invented his best plot when his life was
- 1:16Speaker 3: at stake. With Mr. Young to play his long-suffering secretary
- 1:21Speaker 3: is Miss Peggy Conklin, a story by John Dixon Carr
- 1:26Speaker 3: in a somewhat lighter mood than is our habit and
- 1:29Speaker 3: called The Customers Like Murder, is tonight's tale of suspense.
- 1:36Speaker 3: If you've been with us on these Tuesday nights, you
- 1:38Speaker 3: will know that suspense is compounded of mystery and suspicion
- 1:42Speaker 3: and dangerous adventure. In this series are tales calculated to
- 1:46Speaker 3: intrigue you, to stir your nerves, to offer you a
- 1:49Speaker 3: precarious situation, and then withhold the solution until the last
- 1:53Speaker 3: possible moment. And so with The Customer's Life Murder and
- 1:57Speaker 3: the performance of Roland Young, we again hope to keep
- 2:00Speaker 3: you in.
- 2:00Speaker 4: taste.
- 2:04Speaker 3: On a hot summer night in a village on the
- 2:07Speaker 3: east coast of England, a famous writer of detective stories
- 2:10Speaker 3: is dictating to his secretary... You have all heard of Mr.
- 2:22Speaker 3: Gerald Hoxton, celebrated author of Murder on the Woolpert, Akronite
- 2:27Speaker 3: at the Admiralty, Who Shot the Prime Minister, and other
- 2:31Speaker 3: thrillers which have held us past the midnight hour. You
- 2:35Speaker 3: have followed the exploits of Pendleton King, diplomat detective.
- 2:39Speaker 4: Gerald Hoxton lives quietly at Beale, with his friend Dr.
- 2:43Speaker 4: Roberts nearby, in case he should need medical knowledge. and
- 2:47Speaker 4: his pretty, if somewhat, first Canadian secretary, Miss Patricia Phillips.
- 2:52Speaker 4: Gerald Hawkstone would be a happy man, even in wartime,
- 2:56Speaker 4: if he were not.
- 2:57Speaker 3: Have you got all that.
- 3:00Speaker 5: Miss Phillips?
- 3:01Speaker 3: Yes, Mr. Hawkstone.
- 3:02Speaker 4: Good. New paragraph?
- 3:04Speaker 6: Yes, Mr.
- 3:04Speaker 3: Hawkstone.
- 3:05Speaker 7: At the head of the great banqueting table, comma, the
- 3:09Speaker 7: Lord Chief Justice staggered to his feet, full thought. His
- 3:13Speaker 7: face was a ghastly whitish color and his eyes.
- 3:16Speaker 3: Had become glassy.
- 3:17Speaker 6: Is he drunk, Mr.
- 3:18Speaker 5: Hawksdale?
- 3:19Speaker 3: No, Miss Phillips.
- 3:20Speaker 7: The Lord Chief Justice is not drunk.
- 3:23Speaker 8: Sounds pretty cockeyed to me.
- 3:25Speaker 7: For your information, Miss Phillips, the Lord Chief Justice has
- 3:27Speaker 7: just been poisoned with curare because he discovered the identity
- 3:31Speaker 7: of the master criminal.
- 3:32Speaker 3: Is that clear?
- 3:33Speaker 4: Yes. Yes, Mr.
- 3:34Speaker 3: Hawkstone.
- 3:35Speaker 8: But I wish you wouldn't do it.
- 3:37Speaker 3: Do what?
- 3:38Speaker 8: Well, in the last four books, Mr. Hawkstone, you have
- 3:41Speaker 8: shot the Prime Minister, killed the Lord Chancellor with an axe,
- 3:44Speaker 8: poisoned the Home Secretary, and blown up.
- 3:46Speaker 6: The First Lord of the Admiralty.
- 3:48Speaker 8: Why don't you stop picking on the poor government and
- 3:51Speaker 8: murder somebody else for a change?
- 3:54Speaker 7: The Lord Chancellor, Miss Phillips, was not murdered with an axe.
- 3:57Speaker 8: No, Mr.
- 3:57Speaker 3: Hawkstone? Definitely no. He was beamed with the Great Seal
- 4:01Speaker 3: and found dead on the Wolf Axe. There's another thing,
- 4:04Speaker 3: Miss Phillips.
- 4:05Speaker 7: Whether you talk like this because of a dense vacuum
- 4:07Speaker 7: in what we will charitably call your mind.
- 4:09Speaker 3: Really, Mr. Hoxton?
- 4:10Speaker 7: Or whether you are really making out what you might
- 4:12Speaker 7: define as potcracks, I don't know. But I don't want
- 4:17Speaker 7: any more of it, do you hear?
- 4:18Speaker 8: Just as you please, Mr.
- 4:20Speaker 3: Hoxton. I, I... Oh, Lord, where was I?
- 4:23Speaker 8: His face was a ghastly whitish color, and his eyes
- 4:27Speaker 8: had become glassy.
- 4:28Speaker 3: Sounds like me. All right.
- 4:31Speaker 7: A single choking cry escaped his lips.
- 4:34Speaker 3: Comma. And his body crumpled to the floor. Full stop.
- 4:39Speaker 3: New paragraph.
- 4:40Speaker 7: With one swift stride, Pendleton King had reached the fallen man.
- 4:45Speaker 8: He can't have done that, Mr.
- 4:46Speaker 3: Hawkstone. Who can't have done what? Pendleton King. What about him?
- 4:49Speaker 8: Well, on the last page, you had him sitting at
- 4:51Speaker 8: the foot of the table. So he can't get there
- 4:53Speaker 8: in one stride. Unless you want him to sail across
- 4:56Speaker 8: the room like a kangaroo.
- 4:58Speaker 7: There are times, Miss Phillips, when I should like to
- 5:00Speaker 7: poison you with curare and dance on your grave.
- 5:04Speaker 8: I was only trying to help.
- 5:06Speaker 3: All right. Change it. Change it. Strike it out. With
- 5:10Speaker 3: hardly a second's delay. How's that? Comma.
- 5:14Speaker 7: Pendleton King had reached the fallen man.
- 5:16Speaker 3: Full stop. New paragraph. Quote. I feared it. Comma. Close quote.
- 5:21Speaker 3: He muttered. Full stop. Quote. Note the rigidity of the muscles.
- 5:26Speaker 3: Exclamation point.
- 5:27Speaker 7: Note the characteristic odor of your curare, which.
- 5:30Speaker 3: That won't do, Mr.
- 5:31Speaker 4: Hoxton.
- 5:31Speaker 3: Why not?
- 5:32Speaker 8: Curare hasn't got any odor.
- 5:34Speaker 3: Now there, Miss Phillips, you've really gone too far.
- 5:36Speaker 8: But I can't help that.
- 5:37Speaker 3: It's true. If you will.
- 5:38Speaker 7: Permit the small vanity, I am noted for the correctness
- 5:41Speaker 7: of my medical knowledge. Who is murdering the Lord Chief Justice,
- 5:44Speaker 7: you or I?
- 5:45Speaker 4: You are.
- 5:46Speaker 3: But you might murder him properly.
- 5:49Speaker 8: Curare hasn't got any odor.
- 5:51Speaker 3: I say it has.
- 5:52Speaker 8: And I say it hasn't.
- 5:54Speaker 3: Listen, Miss Phillips.
- 5:55Speaker 7: I propose to settle this Robert Childish dispute by going
- 5:58Speaker 7: next door and asking Dr.
- 6:00Speaker 4: Roberts.
- 6:00Speaker 3: Will that convince you?
- 6:01Speaker 8: Ferrari hasn't got any odor. In any way, the Lord
- 6:05Speaker 8: Chief Justice wouldn't be mixed up in any such silliness
- 6:08Speaker 8: as this.
- 6:08Speaker 3: Silliness, eh?
- 6:09Speaker 8: Yes, I said silliness. Read your evening paper. The Lord
- 6:12Speaker 8: Chief Justice is sentencing some American gangster who got involved
- 6:15Speaker 8: in a robbery over here. That's the sort of thing
- 6:18Speaker 8: he really does.
- 6:19Speaker 7: You're very fond of these gangster reports, aren't you?
- 6:21Speaker 8: Yes, I am, because they're real.
- 6:23Speaker 3: Real? Far?
- 6:24Speaker 6: Don't you say far to me.
- 6:26Speaker 7: Merely remarking, Miss Phillips, with your usual ingenuity, you sidetrack
- 6:30Speaker 7: the argument.
- 6:31Speaker 3: I am going to see Dr. Roberts. That's not necessary,
- 6:33Speaker 3: of course.
- 6:34Speaker 7: My own knowledge of poison is as great as that
- 6:36Speaker 7: of any doctor.
- 6:37Speaker 3: Doctor, far.
- 6:38Speaker 7: And finally, kindly don't say far to me either.
- 6:42Speaker 3: When I return, Miss Phillips, I hope to find you
- 6:44Speaker 3: in a better frame of mind. Please observe that I,
- 6:47Speaker 3: at least, have been able to keep my temper. Excuse me.
- 6:53Speaker 1: All right.
- 6:54Speaker 3: Go on.
- 6:55Speaker 8: See if I care.
- 6:56Speaker 9: Yes.
- 7:16Speaker 3: Oh, excuse me, but... Good evening, Mr. Hawkstone. Good evening, Mrs.
- 7:21Speaker 4: Roberts.
- 7:22Speaker 3: May I come in? Of course.
- 7:25Speaker 6: Mind the blackout curtain.
- 7:27Speaker 3: My, isn't it hot.
- 7:28Speaker 6: And stuffy tonight?
- 7:30Speaker 3: Rather close, yes. Is the doctor in?
- 7:33Speaker 6: I'm afraid he isn't, Mr. Hawkstone, but I expect him
- 7:37Speaker 6: back any minute.
- 7:38Speaker 3: Oh, out on a call?
- 7:39Speaker 6: No, I'm almost certain he isn't, because that's his medicine
- 7:43Speaker 6: case and stethoscope there on the table. I think he's
- 7:46Speaker 6: just gone up the road to get some tobacco.
- 7:48Speaker 3: Do you mind if I wait? Not at all.
- 7:52Speaker 6: But you will excuse me if I run along. I
- 7:54Speaker 6: promised Mrs. Anderson I'd drop in there. It's her neuralgia again,
- 7:58Speaker 6: and I'm terribly late already.
- 8:00Speaker 3: Don't let me detain you, Mrs.
- 8:01Speaker 7: Roberts.
- 8:02Speaker 3: Go right ahead.
- 8:03Speaker 6: I'm afraid you'll have to wait in George's consulting room.
- 8:06Speaker 6: I've got most of the house dark so I could
- 8:08Speaker 6: keep the windows open.
- 8:09Speaker 3: You know which room it is? Yes. Yes, yes, I
- 8:12Speaker 3: could find it blindfolded.
- 8:13Speaker 6: Oh, and I wonder if you'd take the medicine case
- 8:16Speaker 6: and stethoscope and drop them in the consulting room. George
- 8:19Speaker 6: is so careless, he lets them lie about anywhere.
- 8:23Speaker 3: Medicine case? Stethoscope, yes. As a matter of fact, I've
- 8:26Speaker 3: always wanted to hang one of these things around my
- 8:28Speaker 3: neck like this. Ha, ha, ha. Look almost like a doctor,
- 8:31Speaker 3: don't I? Good night, Mrs.
- 8:33Speaker 5: Roberts.
- 8:33Speaker 4: Good night, Mr.
- 8:34Speaker 3: Hopstone. See you later. Oh. What I write is silliness, eh?
- 8:41Speaker 3: And I don't know anything about poisons. And I call
- 8:44Speaker 3: her Miss Phillips instead of Patricia. Ah, here we are. Now,
- 8:49Speaker 3: where's that light switch?
- 8:50Speaker 1: Good Lord.
- 8:52Speaker 3: Come on in, Doc. Close the door. Who's the deuce
- 8:55Speaker 3: are you?
- 8:56Speaker 5: You want to keep healthy, Doc? Just do what you're told.
- 8:58Speaker 5: Come in and close the door.
- 9:00Speaker 3: Is that by any chance a revolver you're pointing at me?
- 9:02Speaker 5: Ain't no cigarette case.
- 9:03Speaker 4: I'm warning you.
- 9:04Speaker 3: Well, I'm hanged. I've done it a thousand times in stories,
- 9:07Speaker 3: but I never thought... Don't drop that junk you're carrying, either.
- 9:09Speaker 5: You're going to need it, Doc, when you come along
- 9:11Speaker 5: with me.
- 9:12Speaker 3: Come along with you? Where? Just to see a guy,
- 9:14Speaker 3: that's all. To see a... Oh, wait a minute. You
- 9:17Speaker 3: don't think I'm the doctor? Now, look, Doc.
- 9:20Speaker 5: I ain't got any time for gags, see? The boss
- 9:22Speaker 5: says to bring you, so I bring you. There'll be
- 9:26Speaker 5: a very sick man out there if you don't go.
- 9:28Speaker 5: There'll be a very dead man out there if I
- 9:29Speaker 5: do go.
- 9:30Speaker 3: I tell you what, man, you're making a terrible mistake. Now, look, Doc.
- 9:34Speaker 3: My name is Hawkstone. I live next door. I'm not
- 9:36Speaker 3: a medical man, and I never... Somebody's coming. Philip. Now, then.
- 9:42Speaker 2: Dr.
- 9:42Speaker 3: Hawkstone.
- 9:43Speaker 8: Just look here in the encyclopedia.
- 9:45Speaker 3: So you're like a doctor, huh? That's done it.
- 9:47Speaker 5: Just a real old-fashioned kiddo, ain't you?
- 9:49Speaker 3: Now, you keep quiet, lady. You know what's good for you.
- 9:52Speaker 3: I know you.
- 9:54Speaker 8: I've seen your pictures.
- 9:56Speaker 6: You're Big Louie Miller.
- 9:57Speaker 5: It's my thing you got here, Doc.
- 10:00Speaker 4: Got here, Doc.
- 10:01Speaker 3: Listen, Mr.
- 10:01Speaker 4: Hook.
- 10:01Speaker 3: Take it easy, Mrs.
- 10:02Speaker 4: Hook.
- 10:02Speaker 8: Big Louie Miller and Flats Kelly. Flats Kelly is the
- 10:05Speaker 8: gang leader. We're supposed to be friends of this gangster
- 10:08Speaker 8: who's on trial in London now.
- 10:09Speaker 6: But I hadn't heard they were in England.
- 10:11Speaker 3: No, lady, neither has anybody else. No, Will Forrest. Who
- 10:14Speaker 3: is this same talk you're nice to? No, she's my secretary.
- 10:17Speaker 3: She doesn't know anything about this.
- 10:18Speaker 5: She seems to know too much about it if you
- 10:20Speaker 5: ask me.
- 10:21Speaker 3: Come on, lady, you're going with us. Going?
- 10:23Speaker 4: Where?
- 10:24Speaker 3: Just for a little ride, lady. Just for a little ride.
- 10:41Speaker 3: Far out from the village, in fat and miry swampland,
- 10:45Speaker 3: where pools of stagnant water gleam under the moon, stands
- 10:49Speaker 3: the old Rutherford House. It is a desolate place, on
- 10:52Speaker 3: the track of Field Marshal Goering's bombers when they crossed
- 10:55Speaker 3: the coastline. But there are no searchlights here, and no guns.
- 11:00Speaker 3: Only the heat on.
- 11:01Speaker 4: The glimmering marshes and the decaying, weather-boarded house.
- 11:05Speaker 3: There's a motorcar approaching.
- 11:11Speaker 4: Drive straight ahead, Doc.
- 11:12Speaker 5: Right around to the back of the house. Remember, I
- 11:14Speaker 5: still got this rod against the back of your neck.
- 11:16Speaker 3: As a matter of fact, Louie, I'm rather enjoying this.
- 11:19Speaker 3: All except the murder. What murder? We ain't gonna bump
- 11:22Speaker 3: anybody off. Maybe not you, old boy, but I am.
- 11:26Speaker 3: Just wait till I get at your patient.
- 11:28Speaker 8: I don't see how you can joke about this.
- 11:30Speaker 3: I'm not joking, Miss Phillips. If Louie won't tell us
- 11:32Speaker 3: what's wrong with the patient.
- 11:33Speaker 5: Whenever you mind the patient, Doctor, just drive around here.
- 11:37Speaker 3: Yeah, whoa. So, right here.
- 11:40Speaker 1: Oh.
- 11:41Speaker 3: So this is the enchanted castle, eh? Climb out of here.
- 11:44Speaker 5: Walk ahead of me over to that house.
- 11:46Speaker 3: Come on, Miss Phillips. That's right, lady. You too. Come on. Hey,
- 11:50Speaker 3: hold on, Doc.
- 11:50Speaker 5: Grab a can of this cleaning fluid here.
- 11:52Speaker 4: You can help me carry it around.
- 11:53Speaker 3: Cleaning fluid? Yeah, there's two kinds of it.
- 11:55Speaker 5: If I can carry one, then I need my other
- 11:58Speaker 5: hand for this ride.
- 11:58Speaker 3: Come on.
- 11:59Speaker 5: Come on.
- 11:59Speaker 3: We ain't got all night.
- 12:00Speaker 4: Get it out of the back seat.
- 12:01Speaker 3: The fashion is a little out of my line of duty.
- 12:04Speaker 3: What do you want with the cleaning fluid?
- 12:06Speaker 5: The boss's suits get all messed up, so I clean
- 12:08Speaker 5: them for him. I play nice mate and everything around him.
- 12:11Speaker 3: Come on now. Straight ahead.
- 12:12Speaker 5: Stop asking questions.
- 12:14Speaker 3: You got this place blacked out, Louie. If the police
- 12:17Speaker 3: don't get you, the air raid warden will. Forget it, Doc.
- 12:20Speaker 3: We got this place so sealed up, they can hardly
- 12:22Speaker 3: breathe inside.
- 12:24Speaker 2: In here?
- 12:24Speaker 3: That's right, lady. Go ahead. I'll close the door. I
- 12:30Speaker 3: can't see, old boy. Which way?
- 12:32Speaker 5: Here. Set that can down and follow me. You too, lady.
- 12:39Speaker 5: Right here, where the curtain's hanging over the door.
- 12:42Speaker 3: Now, I want you to make the barge. So I
- 12:45Speaker 3: open the curtain like this.
- 12:46Speaker 4: Howdy-da.
- 12:47Speaker 3: Come right in. Glad to see you.
- 12:49Speaker 4: I've been expecting you.
- 12:50Speaker 3: Glad to see you, old man. I imagine you're the
- 12:52Speaker 3: celebrated Mr. Kelly. That's me, Doc.
- 12:55Speaker 4: Flats, Kelly, to you. Glad to see you're taking this
- 12:58Speaker 4: nice and friendly. Louis, what's the idea of bringing in
- 13:02Speaker 4: the dame?
- 13:02Speaker 3: I couldn't help it, boy. How? She's just nice, see?
- 13:05Speaker 3: She was with him. And she knew who I was.
- 13:07Speaker 4: She did, eh?
- 13:08Speaker 8: I don't know anything. All I want to do is
- 13:10Speaker 8: to go home.
- 13:11Speaker 3: That's all right, sister.
- 13:13Speaker 4: You'll go home all nice and friendly. Soon as I've
- 13:16Speaker 4: had a little talk with the doctor.
- 13:17Speaker 3: A talk about what?
- 13:19Speaker 4: We're not what you might call comfortable here, Doc. We've
- 13:23Speaker 4: got flashlights, canned food, plenty of liquor, portable radio that
- 13:28Speaker 4: works on a battery.
- 13:29Speaker 3: We managed to get along.
- 13:30Speaker 4: You know what I mean?
- 13:32Speaker 7: I said to talk about what?
- 13:34Speaker 4: Well, that's it. That's what I'm going to tell you.
- 13:38Speaker 3: We pulled a snatch, see? You pulled a snatch.
- 13:42Speaker 6: You mean they kidnapped somebody?
- 13:44Speaker 3: That's right, sister.
- 13:45Speaker 4: You speak English.
- 13:47Speaker 3: May I ask who was... Snatched?
- 13:49Speaker 4: Well, I'll tell you, Doc, because it'll have you a
- 13:51Speaker 4: big laugh. The guy we snatched was the big shot
- 13:54Speaker 4: you call the Lord Chief Justice.
- 13:55Speaker 3: You snatched the Lord Chief Justice?
- 13:59Speaker 4: We shot that, Doc, and his clerk, too.
- 14:01Speaker 3: They're in the room right over there. Such a trap, Louie.
- 14:04Speaker 5: I didn't mean nothing, but I was only trying.
- 14:05Speaker 4: Did you hear me say such a trap?
- 14:07Speaker 3: Okay. But, look here, what was the idea behind this snatch?
- 14:12Speaker 4: Well, I'll tell you, Doc. We got a pal, see?
- 14:15Speaker 3: Well?
- 14:16Speaker 4: Dominic Farrelly, his name is. He's Up on a grand
- 14:18Speaker 4: larceny rap, and Farrelly don't like blimey jails. He don't
- 14:21Speaker 4: like them at all. Besides, a dirty little rat owes
- 14:24Speaker 4: me 14 Gs.
- 14:25Speaker 3: So what do we do? Snatch the Lord Chief.
- 14:28Speaker 4: Justice, apparently, but why? Because the mouthpiece back home tells
- 14:32Speaker 4: me long ago that a man can't be sentenced except
- 14:36Speaker 4: for the judge that tried him.
- 14:38Speaker 7: And the Lord Chief Justice is the judge who tried
- 14:40Speaker 7: Dominic Farrelly, is that it?
- 14:41Speaker 3: That's right, Doc.
- 14:43Speaker 4: But it ain't the main thing.
- 14:44Speaker 3: The Chief Justice is a pretty important guy, see?
- 14:47Speaker 4: So what do we do? We write to the cops
- 14:49Speaker 4: and say, now, look, we got the old bird in
- 14:52Speaker 4: a place where you'll never find him, and if you
- 14:53Speaker 4: want to keep things nice and friendly, just spring Dominic Farrelly.
- 14:56Speaker 3: Spring him?
- 14:57Speaker 4: Turn him loose. Sure. Spring Farrelly, and you'll get the
- 15:00Speaker 4: old judge back in one piece. If you don't do it,
- 15:03Speaker 4: you'll get him back with his head as full of
- 15:04Speaker 4: holes as a Swiss cheese.
- 15:06Speaker 3: And we're not kidding.
- 15:07Speaker 4: This is horrible.
- 15:08Speaker 8: I can't stand it.
- 15:09Speaker 3: Take it easy, sister. Take it easy. You know, Slav,
- 15:13Speaker 3: I admire you tremendously. You do, Doc. Why? Because you've
- 15:17Speaker 3: invented a crazier idea than I ever did.
- 15:20Speaker 4: Just what do you mean with that track, Doc?
- 15:22Speaker 3: You don't honestly think the government will make a bargain
- 15:24Speaker 3: with you? I sort of think they will, Doc. I
- 15:26Speaker 3: sort of think they will. But what if they don't?
- 15:29Speaker 3: It'll be just too bad for a lot of people.
- 15:31Speaker 3: You know what I mean?
- 15:32Speaker 5: Why wouldn't I like to give that judge a going over?
- 15:35Speaker 4: Louie's got a sort of a grudge against the old guy, Doc.
- 15:38Speaker 3: Why, wouldn't you have?
- 15:39Speaker 4: Louie's temperamental, see? He gets bored easily. So he says
- 15:43Speaker 4: to the old guy at his clerk, he says, Can
- 15:45Speaker 4: you play poker? Just as sure as they play poker
- 15:49Speaker 4: from six in the evening to five in the morning.
- 15:52Speaker 3: And what do you know?
- 15:53Speaker 4: If the old judge don't win, all Louie's dough.
- 15:56Speaker 3: They rung in a call back on me. That's how
- 15:57Speaker 3: they done it.
- 15:58Speaker 4: They're a couple of crooks.
- 15:59Speaker 7: Are you accusing the Lord Chief Justice of playing poker
- 16:01Speaker 7: with Mark Codd?
- 16:02Speaker 3: He won my dough, didn't he?
- 16:03Speaker 4: Shut up, Louie.
- 16:04Speaker 3: Okay, boy.
- 16:05Speaker 4: How did I blame Louie much? The things I've had
- 16:07Speaker 4: to take from that judge. Well, that's where you come in, Doc.
- 16:12Speaker 3: I was just wondering about that. Which of one of
- 16:14Speaker 3: them is the.
- 16:16Speaker 4: Nobody hurt. Not yet.
- 16:17Speaker 3: Then what the devil do you want with me?
- 16:19Speaker 4: I want them kept quiet so they don't keep trying
- 16:22Speaker 4: to escape.
- 16:23Speaker 3: We can't get.
- 16:24Speaker 4: Tough with them, not until I get Forelli and my
- 16:26Speaker 4: 14 Gs. I want you to give them a hypodermic
- 16:29Speaker 4: or something that'll keep them out cold for two days.
- 16:32Speaker 4: Can you do that?
- 16:33Speaker 3: Why, yes. I don't know. I suppose I could.
- 16:37Speaker 9: Mr.
- 16:37Speaker 6: Faulkner, for heaven's sake, be careful.
- 16:39Speaker 4: What do you use to dope them?
- 16:41Speaker 3: Well, under the circumstances and... Considering all the factors involved,
- 16:47Speaker 3: I think I should use... I should use morphine.
- 16:51Speaker 4: Have you got any morphine in that black satchel?
- 16:53Speaker 3: Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Plenty of morphine.
- 16:57Speaker 3: I always go about equipped for these little emergencies.
- 16:59Speaker 4: Well, then open the satchel.
- 17:00Speaker 3: Go on, open it. Well, there you are.
- 17:03Speaker 4: It doesn't sell little bottles anyway. Now then, Doc, which
- 17:07Speaker 4: one of them bottles is the one that has the
- 17:08Speaker 4: morphine in it?
- 17:09Speaker 2: Aye, the.
- 17:10Speaker 3: The fact is that.
- 17:11Speaker 4: Come on, come on, which one is it?
- 17:13Speaker 3: Listen, boss.
- 17:14Speaker 4: Louie, how many times do I have to tell you
- 17:15Speaker 4: to shut up?
- 17:16Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's the midnight news. The news on the radio.
- 17:18Speaker 3: You said you wanted to hear it. It's after midnight now.
- 17:20Speaker 3: Why didn't you tell me? It's all right, boss. I
- 17:22Speaker 3: switched the radio on. Well, then keep quiet, all of you.
- 17:25Speaker 4: A couple of seconds now, you're going to hear some
- 17:27Speaker 4: mighty sweet news.
- 17:28Speaker 3: I wonder.
- 17:29Speaker 8: So do I.
- 17:30Speaker 4: Quiet. Hey, that's us, isn't it?
- 17:35Speaker 9: The kidnappers, stated Superintendent Hadley of the CID, seem to
- 17:38Speaker 9: entertain a belief that no sentence can be passed on
- 17:40Speaker 9: a criminal except by the judge who tried him. Whatever
- 17:43Speaker 9: may be the law in certain American states, this is
- 17:45Speaker 9: not the case here. Dominic Forelli, alias Dominic Stevens, was
- 17:49Speaker 9: today sentenced by Mr. Justice Stoneman to 14 years hard
- 17:52Speaker 9: labor and this evening entered Dartmoor Prison.
- 17:55Speaker 3: Why, that's... One moment, please. Take it easy, boys. Take
- 17:58Speaker 3: it easy.
- 17:58Speaker 6: He's as white as a ghost and his mouth is
- 18:00Speaker 6: twisting back as though.
- 18:02Speaker 9: Here is a bulletin just received. Scotland Yard Flying Squad cars,
- 18:05Speaker 9: assisted by the constabulary of a county which for obvious
- 18:08Speaker 9: reasons cannot be named... are closing in on the two
- 18:10Speaker 9: kidnappers believed to be men already wanted in the United
- 18:13Speaker 9: States for murder. But anyone who has any further information
- 18:17Speaker 9: about these men, whose descriptions follow, communicate with New Scotland Yard,
- 18:21Speaker 9: telephone number Whitehall 121.
- 18:23Speaker 4: Wait till I get my hands on it!
- 18:24Speaker 3: It's all right, Port. Everything's all right now. I turned
- 18:26Speaker 3: it off. I turned it off.
- 18:26Speaker 4: I can't do more than turn it off, Louie.
- 18:28Speaker 3: I'll fix that thing. Hey, what are you going to do, Port?
- 18:30Speaker 5: Hey, don't bust the radio! Oh, you're heading on a
- 18:35Speaker 5: bunch of the radio boys.
- 18:36Speaker 3: Now we can't get any news.
- 18:37Speaker 4: We've had our news, ain't we? Come on, put that
- 18:39Speaker 4: light out. I want to look out the window.
- 18:44Speaker 3: Trisha, you see, I can call you that.
- 18:46Speaker 8: Why couldn't you have called me that weeks ago?
- 18:48Speaker 3: Oh, well, putting that aside, I thought it was just
- 18:50Speaker 3: half a joke. But I'm not joking now. I intend
- 18:53Speaker 3: to get that rat face sacked if it's the last
- 18:55Speaker 3: thing I ever do. It probably will be. Well, it's
- 19:01Speaker 3: great to know. 14,000 butts gone.
- 19:03Speaker 4: And the cops on our tail while we stand here yapping.
- 19:05Speaker 3: You heard what that radio said, Louie. Yeah, I heard
- 19:07Speaker 3: it all right. Look, boss, we'd better lamb out of
- 19:09Speaker 3: here while it's time.
- 19:10Speaker 4: Before we go, we settle things with the old guy
- 19:12Speaker 4: in the other room.
- 19:13Speaker 3: You can't get away with it, Louie. This is England.
- 19:15Speaker 3: They'll hang you. So what?
- 19:16Speaker 4: We got a murder rapper facing the States, ain't we?
- 19:18Speaker 4: Am I just as soon to hang as Fry? What
- 19:20Speaker 4: about you, Louie?
- 19:20Speaker 3: You said it, boss.
- 19:21Speaker 5: Let me take this ride of mine, stick it against.
- 19:22Speaker 4: The back of the old guy's neck.
- 19:24Speaker 3: No, no. No rides. That's too easy.
- 19:27Speaker 9: Easy?
- 19:28Speaker 4: Sure. One slug and it's all over.
- 19:31Speaker 3: This guy rates special treatment.
- 19:34Speaker 4: And that's where the doctor comes in. You know anything about.
- 19:37Speaker 3: Poisons, doc? I know a good deal about poisons. The
- 19:41Speaker 3: customers like murder. What's that? Oh, nothing. That's a slogan
- 19:44Speaker 3: in my profession. Look, Louis, do you remember the time
- 19:47Speaker 3: Johnny Presco was running the old Third Avenue Social Club?
- 19:49Speaker 4: Yeah. And Mike Delaney talks out of turn?
- 19:52Speaker 3: And they feed him.
- 19:53Speaker 4: Some white stuff called, uh, strychnine?
- 19:55Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
- 19:56Speaker 4: And sit around and light cigarettes and watch him die.
- 20:00Speaker 4: It took four hours, Doc, and you could hear the
- 20:02Speaker 4: rats screaming as far as 81st Street.
- 20:04Speaker 3: Now, wait a minute. That's you. I can't, huh?
- 20:06Speaker 4: We'll see. You got any of that white stuff, Doc?
- 20:08Speaker 3: Well, I... Come on.
- 20:09Speaker 4: You've got something in that bag that'll make the old
- 20:11Speaker 4: guy squeal now, haven't you?
- 20:13Speaker 3: Why, yes, I suppose I have, but... Listen, get this sure.
- 20:18Speaker 4: You can do it the hard way, Doc, or you
- 20:21Speaker 4: can do it the easy way. Louie gets to work
- 20:25Speaker 4: on you. Maybe you'd be smarter to hand this stuff
- 20:26Speaker 4: over right now. What do you think? I.
- 20:28Speaker 3: Listen, what? Listen. What's the matter with that? Trouble by
- 20:33Speaker 3: the heat? It is hot in here with all the
- 20:35Speaker 3: windows sealed up. That sounds like planes. It is planes.
- 20:39Speaker 4: British planes going over to put the heat on Germany?
- 20:42Speaker 3: Oh, such luck, old boy. German planes coming to bomb us. About, uh.
- 20:45Speaker 8: About a dozen Heinkels flying 20,000 feet up.
- 20:49Speaker 3: Uh-huh. Very keen here, Miss Phillips. Say, I'd say not
- 20:53Speaker 3: over 15. That's the first wave set. There'll be another
- 20:57Speaker 3: wave in a minute or two. But you needn't be alarmed.
- 21:00Speaker 3: They're going somewhere else. They only... Shut, Louie, shut!
- 21:03Speaker 5: I heard you, boss.
- 21:04Speaker 4: I'm under the table already.
- 21:07Speaker 3: Only a little visiting cards, that, and fully a quarter
- 21:10Speaker 3: of a mile away. Put out that light, Louie, and.
- 21:11Speaker 4: Pull that curtain back off the window.
- 21:12Speaker 3: Yeah, let's watch that.
- 21:13Speaker 4: See what you can see.
- 21:14Speaker 3: Okay. Do as I tell you. All right, all right.
- 21:18Speaker 4: Hey, can't see a thing.
- 21:20Speaker 3: The sky's as black as pitch. Oh, look over there. Well,
- 21:23Speaker 3: what is it? It's a light, boss. Funny kind of
- 21:26Speaker 3: a white light. Up there over the trees. It's not
- 21:29Speaker 3: very steady.
- 21:30Speaker 5: It starts and then dims and then it starts and dims.
- 21:34Speaker 8: Only a basket of incendiary bombs, Louie.
- 21:37Speaker 3: Incendiary, eh?
- 21:38Speaker 1: What is it, Jerry?
- 21:39Speaker 3: You got an idea?
- 21:40Speaker 4: Louie, this is just what we've been waiting for. Those
- 21:43Speaker 4: Scotland Yard cars are going to get held up until
- 21:46Speaker 4: we can.
- 21:46Speaker 3: Settle things with those guys in the other room.
- 21:50Speaker 4: Come along with me.
- 21:51Speaker 7: Why don't you two lugs get smart?
- 21:53Speaker 3: Jerry.
- 21:53Speaker 5: What's that?
- 21:54Speaker 3: You don't want to have your neck cracked on a rope,
- 21:56Speaker 3: do you? Or burn in the electric chair back home.
- 21:59Speaker 3: What are you getting at? Why not take advice from
- 22:01Speaker 3: somebody who's been killing people in a professional way for
- 22:03Speaker 3: 15 years? I'm not in the mood for gags, Doc,
- 22:06Speaker 3: but keep on talking. This Lord Chief Justice and his clerk,
- 22:09Speaker 3: what do they look like?
- 22:10Speaker 4: Well, the judge is a little guy with a bald
- 22:12Speaker 4: head like me. And the other one is a big
- 22:14Speaker 4: guy with a punch-drunk pan like Louie. Why?
- 22:17Speaker 3: I thought so. I've seen their photographs. When the next
- 22:20Speaker 3: wave of planes comes over, and it will... Why shouldn't
- 22:23Speaker 3: an incendiary bomb hit this house? You mean you think
- 22:26Speaker 3: it ain't too safe here? Be quiet, Louie. Go ahead, Doc.
- 22:28Speaker 3: In other words, you leave the Lord Chief Judge and
- 22:30Speaker 3: his clock tied up in the other room. Then all
- 22:33Speaker 3: you have to do is to set fire to the place.
- 22:35Speaker 3: Justice cheated, Meddington gangsters die and blaze. Jerry Hawkstone, have
- 22:39Speaker 3: you gone crazy? They may catch you eventually, yes. But
- 22:42Speaker 3: it'll give you a few days' start.
- 22:43Speaker 4: Hey, maybe you.
- 22:44Speaker 7: Got something there, Doc. It's got to look good. This
- 22:47Speaker 7: house must go up like a piece of paper in
- 22:49Speaker 7: a furnace. Past any possibility of being put out.
- 22:51Speaker 4: Yeah, and that's the catch.
- 22:53Speaker 3: Why so?
- 22:54Speaker 4: This house is in the middle of a swamp, see?
- 22:56Speaker 3: It's as damp.
- 22:58Speaker 4: As your own climate. You couldn't make it burn with
- 23:00Speaker 4: a blowtorch.
- 23:01Speaker 3: Oh, yes, you could. Aren't you forgetting the cleaning fluid?
- 23:04Speaker 4: Cleaning fluid?
- 23:05Speaker 3: In that other room, you've got two gallons of cleaning fluid.
- 23:07Speaker 3: That's benzene, the derivative of petrol. Soak every inch of
- 23:11Speaker 3: the floor of that room with it, every inch of it, mind,
- 23:13Speaker 3: and the place will go up like tinder.
- 23:15Speaker 4: Well, it's worth a try, Louie.
- 23:17Speaker 3: Turn on your flashlight. Okay, boss.
- 23:20Speaker 4: And, uh, what about you two, Doc?
- 23:23Speaker 3: Afterwards? We're accessories, aren't we? Are we likely to talk?
- 23:26Speaker 5: Better put a couple of slugs in them, Port.
- 23:28Speaker 4: Drop them on the road.
- 23:29Speaker 5: What's one or two more bumps in a spot like this?
- 23:31Speaker 4: Maybe you're right at that. Well, anyway, Dax, thanks for
- 23:34Speaker 4: a swell idea. Are you ready with the doctor, Louie?
- 23:37Speaker 4: Get going to that cleaning step.
- 23:38Speaker 3: Both of you had better do it. I'm warning you.
- 23:40Speaker 5: Oh, why?
- 23:42Speaker 3: Hear that? Because there isn't much time.
- 23:45Speaker 4: Here they come.
- 23:46Speaker 3: You can't have a fire start after the last wave
- 23:48Speaker 3: of planes has gone over.
- 23:49Speaker 4: Well, maybe you got something there, too. Well, I'll just
- 23:52Speaker 4: take a little precaution for her.
- 23:54Speaker 6: What are you going to do?
- 23:55Speaker 3: These are handcuffs, sister.
- 23:56Speaker 4: Two of the neatest pair of cuffs we ever swiped
- 23:59Speaker 4: off a dumb cop. Now, I'll just lock your arms
- 24:01Speaker 4: around the back of the chair, like this. And the
- 24:06Speaker 4: doc's arms around the back of his chair.
- 24:08Speaker 3: Like this. And we'll get going.
- 24:12Speaker 4: Come on, Louie, through the curtain.
- 24:13Speaker 3: Okay, I'm coming for it. Bye-bye, Mr. Hawkstone. On your
- 24:16Speaker 3: lady front.
- 24:17Speaker 5: Be saying you're in the funny papers.
- 24:19Speaker 3: Or in the morgue. Ha, ha, ha. It won't be
- 24:33Speaker 3: long now.
- 24:35Speaker 8: They must have everything in there soaked with that benzene
- 24:37Speaker 8: by now. Jerry, I know you can't be completely crazy.
- 24:41Speaker 3: Many thanks, my dear, for the qualification. You're right. They
- 24:45Speaker 3: have soaked the place with benzene. And if they strike
- 24:47Speaker 3: a match before.
- 24:48Speaker 8: I know, I know you've got some kind of a scheme,
- 24:50Speaker 8: but do you think it'll work?
- 24:52Speaker 3: I don't know, my dear. I thought of it once
- 24:54Speaker 3: for a story. Oh, you and your story. Me and
- 24:57Speaker 3: my stories, as Louis will put it, may save our
- 24:59Speaker 3: hides yet.
- 24:59Speaker 6: But suppose it doesn't work.
- 25:01Speaker 3: Then we're done for. Listen, Patricia.
- 25:06Speaker 4: It's not working.
- 25:07Speaker 3: But it's got to work. What's got to work? Four, no,
- 25:12Speaker 3: five minutes. At least they've been pulling out that benzene
- 25:15Speaker 3: an inch at a time all over the... Listen, listen.
- 25:20Speaker 4: It's working, Patricia. I think our friends are lit. No.
- 25:28Speaker 8: No, they're not. Slats is coming back.
- 25:30Speaker 9: What?
- 25:31Speaker 2: What the heck are you... Trying to pull, Doc.
- 25:35Speaker 3: What's the matter with Louis? What's the matter with me?
- 25:37Speaker 3: You've lost the game, Slats. You're finished. I'm finished, am I?
- 25:42Speaker 3: It's the benzene fumes, old man. To pour out a
- 25:44Speaker 3: lot of cleaning fluid in an airtight room like that
- 25:47Speaker 3: one is practically a certain death. You know, Slats, you
- 25:50Speaker 3: ought to learn more about crime. You're a rat, you rat! No,
- 25:55Speaker 3: you won't, Fats. You can't reach your gun. The fumes
- 25:58Speaker 3: have got you. You can't move your arms or legs.
- 26:00Speaker 3: Your eyesight's going. In one second more, you'll be.
- 26:05Speaker 3: Got him.
- 26:06Speaker 4: Dead to the world.
- 26:07Speaker 3: You mean... It works, Patricia. It's practical.
- 26:09Speaker 1: It works.
- 26:10Speaker 8: Are you trying to tell me that you've killed those
- 26:13Speaker 8: two men?
- 26:14Speaker 3: Not necessarily.
- 26:14Speaker 1: That.
- 26:18Speaker 7: That sounds like cars.
- 26:19Speaker 4: Probably police cars.
- 26:21Speaker 3: We're just about to be sensationally rescued, just like fiction.
- 26:23Speaker 4: Jerry... Jerry.
- 26:26Speaker 3: Come on out of there. Come on in and get us,
- 26:29Speaker 3: you lugs.
- 26:30Speaker 8: Don't talk like Louie or we'll get a blot through
- 26:32Speaker 8: the head, yes.
- 26:32Speaker 4: Yes, that is a thought.
- 26:34Speaker 8: We're prisoners.
- 26:35Speaker 4: We're victims.
- 26:36Speaker 3: This way, please.
- 26:38Speaker 5: Mr.
- 26:38Speaker 8: Sergeant, and I was never so glad to see a
- 26:40Speaker 8: uniform in my life.
- 26:41Speaker 3: Hey, now, hey, now. What's going on in this place?
- 26:45Speaker 3: Louie Miller knocked out in that room?
- 26:48Speaker 7: Blimey, if it's not Slats Kelly knocked out in this room.
- 26:51Speaker 3: Just a couple of mugs I polished off, Sergeant. All
- 26:53Speaker 3: in the day's work. You mean they're dead? They'll be
- 26:56Speaker 3: all right if you drag them out in the open air. Oh, you.
- 26:59Speaker 3: I recognize you.
- 27:00Speaker 4: You're the writer who was kidnapped tonight.
- 27:02Speaker 3: Yes, and you will find the other snatches in that room.
- 27:05Speaker 3: But first of all, have you got a key that'll
- 27:06Speaker 3: unlock regulation police handcuffs? I certainly have, Sergeant.
- 27:09Speaker 4: I'll get you loose in a jiffy.
- 27:10Speaker 3: Never mind me, Sergeant. Never mind my handcuffs. Get this
- 27:13Speaker 3: lady free. She's the one I'm concerned about.
- 27:15Speaker 6: You know, that's awfully kind of you.
- 27:17Speaker 8: It's something practically chivalrous.
- 27:19Speaker 3: Chivalry, my eye.
- 27:20Speaker 4: There you are, young lady.
- 27:22Speaker 3: Have you got your notebook and pencil in that handbag?
- 27:24Speaker 8: You don't want me to take dictation now.
- 27:27Speaker 3: A true artist, madam, takes no account of time or place.
- 27:29Speaker 3: Are you ready?
- 27:30Speaker 4: Yes, Mr.
- 27:31Speaker 3: Hawkstone.
- 27:32Speaker 4: Well, you admit now that my plot is practical. Yes, Mr.
- 27:36Speaker 3: Hawkstone.
- 27:36Speaker 7: Now then, the income tax murder by Gerald Hawkstone, chapter one.
- 27:39Speaker 3: But, Mr. Hawkstone... Just.
- 27:41Speaker 7: As Big Ben was striking midnight.
- 27:43Speaker 3: A hooded face looked into the window of the luxurious
- 27:46Speaker 3: study occupied by the Chancellor of the Exchequer. Pulls up.
- 27:51Speaker 3: The hooded figure chuckled as it softly lowered inside the
- 27:54Speaker 3: window a large tin of cleaning fluid. New paragraph. The
- 27:59Speaker 3: Chancellor himself was hard at work devising a new scale
- 28:02Speaker 3: of ink....
- 28:04Speaker 8: Completely different story. I thought you were going to murder
- 28:07Speaker 8: the Lord Chief Justice.
- 28:09Speaker 3: Haven't you any professional taste? How can I murder the
- 28:11Speaker 3: Lord Chief Justice? I just saved his life. And so
- 28:35Speaker 3: ends The Customers Like Murder, starring Roland Young with Peggy Conklin.
- 28:42Speaker 3: Tonight's tale of... Suspense. This is your narrator, the man
- 28:49Speaker 3: in black, who conveys to you Columbia's invitation to spend
- 28:52Speaker 3: this half hour in suspense with us again next Tuesday,
- 28:56Speaker 3: same time, when our story will be... The Dead Sleep Lightly.
- 29:09Speaker 3: William Speer, the producer. John Deet, the director. Bernard Herman,
- 29:14Speaker 3: the composer-conductor. And John Dixon Carr, the author. Elaborated on
- 29:19Speaker 3: tonight's suspense.
- 29:25Speaker 1: This concludes our presentation of Suspense, The Customers Like Murder
- 29:29Speaker 1: from 1943. Follow Suspense for more classic broadcasts.