Latest / In Search Of Excellence / Jon Gordon: Fear Paralyzes, Love Overcomes | E56

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Jon Gordon: Fear Paralyzes, Love Overcomes | E56 · In Search Of Excellence

• 0:00
  Randall Kaplan: Welcome to In Search of Excellence which is about our quest for greatness and our desire to be the very best we can be. You're listening to part two of my amazing conversation with John Gordon.
• 0:07
  Randall Kaplan: John is a leadership expert, Best Selling Author and motivational speaker whose life's mission is to inspire empower others through positive thinking. He is the author of 27 books, including 14 best sellers and five children's books, including the energy bus which has sold over 3 million copies and the coffee bean, which he wrote with Damon West, my guests on In Search of Excellence last week, which is also sold over 2 million copies. He has worked with hundreds of fortune 500 companies, sports teams, universities and nonprofits. And John has been featured on The Today Show CNN CNBC, in many other news outlets, as well as the Washington Post US News and World Report in the Wall Street Journal, among many others. John is the host of the awesome podcast positive University and the founder of the online program positive University, which provides access to content focused on overcoming everyday challenges and bringing together a community of like minded people. If you haven't yet listened to part one, be sure to check that one out first.
• 1:06
  Randall Kaplan: Without further ado, here's part two of my amazing conversation with John. Tell us about the energy bus right and what are its main messages. And then we'll talk about some of the 10 principles of the energy bus.
• 1:21
  Jon Gordon: So it's about it's about a guy named George, who's miserable and negative. His team that work is in disarray. He has problems at home. And he wakes up Monday morning to a flat tire. So he is just fed up with life. And he walks inside he asked his wife to take him to work because he has a flat tire.
• 1:38
  Jon Gordon: And this flat tire is like just one more inconvenient for an inconvenient life for this guy like flat tire you kidding me.
• 1:46
  Jon Gordon: And so she's won't, she won't take up the work. So he has to take the bus to work. And he gets on the bus, he meets joy, the bus driver, and she calls him sugar. And she had a cast of characters teaching the 10 rules for the ride of his life that not only helped him become a more positive person, but a better father a better husband.
• 2:02
  Jon Gordon: It's about getting his team on the bus and moving in the right direction with a shared vision, focus and purpose. It's about the fact that every one of us will have overcome negativity, adversity and challenges to ultimately define ourselves and our team success. And so it resonated with so many people because all these coaches who started reading the book, all these leaders who started reading the book, realize I gotta get my team on the bus. I got all this resistance, all this negativity, I get energy vampires sabotaging us, how do we overcome and move forward in a positive, successful way. And I think that's why the book really resonated and struck a chord because it's about the real life and the real challenges that everyone will face. But when I wrote it, it was just coming to me. So I didn't know I had something that would actually make an impact.
• 2:49
  Jon Gordon: But Jaco real was one of the first people to read this book, coach at the Jacksonville Jaguars at the time. He's now the defensive coordinator for the Washington commanders. And he read the book, he was a legend invites me out of the blue, I got a call to come meet with him because he read the book. And next thing I'm going to meet with Jack Del Rio sitting across from him, I'm 36 years old. Just got back from that tour that wasn't very successful. He's like, I want to use your book for the team. He said, we come speak to the team.
• 3:17
  Jon Gordon: I said, Sure. And you give everyone a copy of the book, I'll come speak. I just said that out of the blue. And he got a copy for everyone on the team.
• 3:23
  Jon Gordon: And also in the organization. He got the book to the foodservice folks, to the custodians. He wanted everyone to have the positive energy and share that positivity with their team and their players. And they had a great year that year, they winded up being the Steelers in the first round of the playoffs.
• 3:41
  Jon Gordon: They went to go play the Patriots. It was a magical year of turning around a a team that wasn't very good. And they had success and next you know, all these teams started to reach out after that and I started to work with most of the Pro and college teams in all sports. I have worked with almost everyone out there the Dodgers. Dave Roberts was one of the first guys who reached out when he got to be the manager of the Dodgers for my book. You went in the locker room it was years later after the energy bus he read you went in the locker room first and brought me in to speak to the Dodgers when he first got the job Shawn McVeigh when he got the job with the Rams reached out to me and I've been working with Sean McVeigh ever since. As a leader as a coach and and speaking to his team, Miami Heat, Tampa Bay Lightning.
• 4:26
  Randall Kaplan: John Cooper, one of the greatest coaches of all time, John Cooper, amazing guy,
• 4:30
  Jon Gordon: amazing team team. I spoke to that team when they had just lost in the first round the year before you know that story.
• 4:36
  Jon Gordon: I do know the story. Yeah. And that was a lot of fun because they just lost they're all down they're all frustrate about last year. And I went there I say Listen, guys, teams that feel like they're defending something don't do very well. But the research shows that teams that feel like they're attacking a new opportunity. do great. It's about attacking a new opportunity. Stop defending your status, stop defending your your reputation as an elite team as a team that is supposed to win the Stanley Cup, just go attack every single day and focus on that process that changed everything shift their perspective. They had all the time in the world. John was a great coach. But I think it was a helpful message that helped redirect that team. That's what I'm probably best at is helping leaders and teams have the right mindset besides culture and teamwork and all that I'm really good at getting them connected with the right mindset that allows them to be successful.
• 5:25
  Randall Kaplan: Yeah. Cooper's a friend, he's a great guy. I'm hoping to have on my show this summer.
• 5:29
  Jon Gordon: Unbelievable, unbelievable leader, lacrosse player, not even really much of a hockey player. He was a great lacrosse player at Hofstra.
• 5:36
  Randall Kaplan: He started his career as a lawyer and as a lawyer.
• 5:39
  Jon Gordon: Yes,
• 5:39
  Randall Kaplan: it's part time code. Yeah.
• 5:41
  Jon Gordon: And why did they win? People always say, you know, John, we're really teams or you're the reason no, I'm definitely never the reason, right. It's always the coach.
• 5:50
  Jon Gordon: It's always the leader. It's the culture, and it's the team, their mindset, and how they execute every single day. I'm gonna tell you a funny, quick story. I just moved to the Colorado Rockies. And so I just spoke to the team that day. And after my talk, a few hours later, they were playing in a spring training game. And they weren't having a great spring training, but they were crushing this team after I spoke. And so I'm all fired up. I'm like, Guys, high state of mind, high state of mind positivity quit hurdle, who's one of the advisors to the manager and the owner and the GM? Quinteto is a buddy of mine crinkles. Hey, John, the guy who just hit that three run homer. He speaks Spanish, he understand a word you say? So funny.
• 6:30
  Randall Kaplan: So I do a lot of mentoring as well. And I mentioned I have a summer intern program. We have 36 kids every summer we got about 1000 applications. And these kids come in, and everyone wants the great work right off the gate right there. It's a different generation today then, yeah, generation where people know I'm a successful entrepreneur, how'd you do it? And I did it for a lot of shit work. Right? 95 97% of my day is shit work. Today. I was sending out cold emails from my beaches company Sandy. I'm getting rejected. I'm gonna get on the phone and I'm gonna get a$500 sale right before here. I went to Margot's restaurant a client of Sandy I pick up a $600 check myself. I got in the car.
• 7:14
  Randall Kaplan: I picked it up. Yep. That was very happy to get it. A lot of the interns say they all sit in a room together. I spent 6090 minutes today with the interns but we have we have a few cardinal rules for the summer.
• 7:29
  Randall Kaplan: No complaining complaining as a cancer. Yes. Because the minute one person complains, it starts it starts orally. And it goes crazy on tax like wildfire. That thing spreads like, like Inferno. Talk to us about how one complaint or complaining can ruin a team can ruin a family can ruin anything that you're doing. Because I know you speak a lot about this.
• 7:52
  Jon Gordon: Yeah, well, I wrote a book called The no complaining rule. And it was based on a real company that was voted one of the best places to work. Every single year, PPR was a health nurse staffing company, and white Cooper was the CEO. And he was a friend of mine. And he would tell me about this no complaining rule that they implemented in their company.
• 8:11
  Jon Gordon: And they would say if you want to work here to potential recruits, we have a no complaint rule, if you're a complainer, this is not the right place for you. And so they would say that, first and foremost, they would tell other employees, we don't complain. You're not allowed to complain, unless you come with a solution. So complaining is actually allowed if you come with a solution, but you're not allowed to mindlessly complain and just text and just gossip and then just be negative, right? That's, I often say complaining is like throwing up afterwards you feel better, but then everyone around you feel sick. And so the key is, how could I not create a toxic environment? Well, let's be an organization that focuses on solutions. Let's empower people.
• 8:50
  Jon Gordon: I love this role, because it basically says, We want your solutions. So bring a complaint because it's how we get better.
• 8:59
  Jon Gordon: Every complaint is how we lead to new innovations, new ideas, new growth, new processes, so complaints make us better. But if you're focusing just on the complaining, but not the solutions, then it's toxic, and then it causes you to be stuck where you are instead of where you want to be. And so the key is to use complaining as a catalyst for growth. And that's what I love about the no complaint rule. So I encourage complaining, but only if you're gonna bring a justify complaint with the solution if it's just mindless, and it's toxic, and it's basically verbal throwing up. That's not good. And that will sabotage the morale, the performance and the people. And that's what happens so often in companies. One of the reasons why my principals work is because the key is we get rid of the negativity that sabotage the team. We feed and fuel the organization that team with real positivity, fake positivity but real positivity that encouraged the team that uplifts them, more optimism, more belief, and as a result of that, the team winds up performing at a higher level,
• 10:03
  Randall Kaplan: positivity rah rah rah. Yeah, okay, I'm gonna do it. Yeah. Can you explain the science behind positivity we can talk about the one shot. Great golf shot rule. Yeah. Martin Seligman. Yep. Robert Emmons, and the great University of Michigan the greatest place on the planet. So what what is the science that we're Fredrickson is research
• 10:23
  Jon Gordon: on positivity and the workplace in terms of teams that have a ratio of three to one positive to negative interactions, those teams perform at a higher level. But if you move to 13 to 113, positive to one negative, the team actually falls apart.
• 10:38
  Jon Gordon: Because no one's dealing with the real issues. No one's having the tough conversations. Notice I didn't say 13 05 to zero or three to 03215. To one America's John Gottman is research shows five to one positive to negative interactions in marriage is to have a thriving marriage.
• 10:57
  Jon Gordon: Because negativity, sabotages and causes a disconnection and a separation and a division. And the more divided you are, the weaker you become. The more connected you are, the more you become one, the stronger, the more powerful you become. And so the key in any marriage, any relationship is to actually become one team. And positivity helps you do that. Whereas negativity causes the division and the separation. And so that's why positivity really does help a team now. It's not rah rah positivity, its mission, its optimism, its belief, its resilience, its grit is the ability to say, You know what, this is hard right now, we'll go through is really difficult. But we're gonna find a way forward.
• 11:42
  Jon Gordon: That was really big on that.
• 11:45
  Jon Gordon: Yeah, we were here yesterday.
• 11:45
  Jon Gordon: But this is what we're creating now. Yes, we lost this game. But what are we building and looking forward towards right now. And I always say, positive leaders find a way forward. I'm sure you know, Alan Mulally, I wrote the power of positive leadership.
• 11:59
  Jon Gordon: Before I wrote that book, I interviewed him an hour interview, maybe an hour and a half. It was like an MBA. And that hour, hour and a half talking to one of the greatest leaders of all time, I read an article where he defined his leadership style as positive leadership. And he said, John, positive leaders find a way forward. And they build great teams and great relationships.
• 12:24
  Jon Gordon: So we're talking about this. And I'll never forget the conversation. He goes, John, this is really an important topic. Like this is essential for leadership. I said, you want to read the book before you publish it, right? He said, Yes.
• 12:38
  Jon Gordon: I said, How about this, I will publish it if you don't think it's worthy. If you don't think it has the right principles, the right practices, and what positive leadership is all about. I won't publish this book. He goes, alright, deal. He read the book, I'll never forget the call from Alan malaria guy I really admire and respect
• 12:56
  Randall Kaplan: for those people who don't know the CEO of Ford Motor,
• 12:59
  Jon Gordon: Ford and Boeing and turn them both around. And Ford during the Great Recession, when they were left literally, for possibly bankruptcy takeover target, losing $14 billion, and then turn them around. Many say it was one of the greatest leadership feats in history.
• 13:16
  Randall Kaplan: And one of the greatest turnarounds in history, leadership feats.
• 13:20
  Jon Gordon: Basically, what he did and how he did if he's not the CEO, they're done. He was the guy to turn them around and did the same thing with Boeing.
• 13:27
  Jon Gordon: That's the kind of leader he has. And I love that he defines his leadership style as positive leadership. And so finding a way forward, giving me that call and saying, all right, yeah, it's, it's worthy, you can do it. And I published that book, Evan Spiegel, Snapchat, gets a copy of it. When it comes out, I get a call from Evan and I go speak to his leadership team, because Snapchat in 2017, was really struggling. And I shared these principles and practices that I wrote about in this book with him. And he will tell you that positive leadership turned around that company, Sean McVeigh leads with positive leadership, air exposure leads with positive leadership. Now, this is not rah, rah, it's love and accountability. It's like, Hey, we're gonna hold you accountable to the standards, the value, that we have the values, the culture, the principles, but we're gonna love you and support you and encourage you along the way. And we're going to be demanding, but we're not going to be demeaning.
• 14:28
  Jon Gordon: We're going to be loving but not enabling, we have the standard and you have to meet the standard. And if you're not meeting the standard, we're going to show you the seperation between the standard and your performance. But we are going to encourage you along the way. But we're also going to make sure that we are addressing it when you're not performing at the highest level that you need to.
• 14:44
  Jon Gordon: So that's real positive leadership. So I don't like when people think positive leadership is rah, rah or rolling your eyes and being Pollyanna. Research from Duke University shows that optimists work harder, get paid more More Likely to Succeed in Business and sports. And what they found was that these optimists because they believed, in a brighter and better future, they took the actions necessary to create it became a self fulfilling prophecy. And so often what we believe determines what we create. And if you don't believe that, let's look at schools, there's a thing called collective teacher efficacy. And that is, we believe as a staff, that we can influence and impact our children, our students lives. And because of that belief, these students go on to perform and create extraordinary outcomes. As a result of that.
• 15:36
  Jon Gordon: It's the number one predictor in student learning is collective teacher efficacy, the belief of the staff that we can impact our students lives. So just working with a staff and teaching them this is essential, working with an organization or a team, getting them to believe together. Like we truly believe that we can be successful. I truly believe we can overcome our adversity and our setbacks.
• 15:55
  Jon Gordon: I truly believe that we can overcome the rejections we face when we're selling on a daily basis, that belief over time will lead to results. I often say though, being positive is not going to guarantee you succeed, but being negative will guarantee that you don't
• 17:04
  Randall Kaplan: talk about the four C's, how important are those in our life? What are they and how important are the four C's
• 17:08
  Jon Gordon: are something I wrote about with my wife and relationship grit, if you don't have a great relationship, those four C's are also in the power of a positive team, the principles and practices that make a great team great, and the positive leadership book as well, because those four C's are essential to developing relationships that lead to high performance. How can you lead someone, if you don't know them?
• 17:28
  Jon Gordon: How can you motivate someone if you don't know what motivates them. And so I've got to know you, I've got to invest in you, I've got to develop a relationship with you to help really drive you to success and help you create success. So you've got the four C's communication, that begins the process of building trust. And here's one of my key principles, where there's avoiding communication, negativity will fill it. So we have to make sure that we are filling it with communication. So negativity does it. And the more we do that builds trust, the more negativity does you get the weeds out, eventually will sabotage your team. So we got to make sure that we're filling the void with positive communication, then there's conduction. The goal to communicate is not just to communicate, it's also to connect at a deeper level, the word communication, communion and community come from the same etymology, right. And it's it's with it's bringing together the goal of communication is to connect with it's to create community or communion. But oneness going back to oneness and power, and strength and unity. So communication creates that connection, that starts to foster that. And connection is essential. Because that's where you earn trust, like, the more we get to know each other. And we have a real relationship with each other. And I connect with you, and I know your story. And you know, mine, and we have this relationship. Now you're gonna trust me more. And now there's more psychological safety as a result of that connection. And that leads to greater commitment. See, that's the key or greater commitment. So many teams don't have trust. And if you don't, if you don't have trust and connection, you will not have commitment, and everybody wants a committed team. But to be a committed team, you need to be a connected team. That's essential. So a lot of my work with teams and organizations, even worked with Dave Roberts and the Dodgers early on, helping him develop a connected team that became a committed team. Because that's when you get grit as a team.
• 19:21
  Jon Gordon: That's when you get resilience as a team, not just one person.
• 19:24
  Jon Gordon: But there's this collective resilience, collective grit that makes you gritty as a team, not just individual, but connection from others. So connection leads to commitment. And then you have commitment, which is about service and sacrifice. So as a leader, if I want you to be committed, I got to demonstrate commitment to you. And commitment recognizes commitment. So the more I'm committed to you, I'll get commitment back. But a lot of times as leaders are like, well, they're not committed, so and so is not committed. He and She is not committed or teammates do that all the time, like so and so's not doing their work.
• 19:56
  Jon Gordon: They're not doing that work. I always tell them, You be the committed one, you show what that looks like. And guess what, you will lead the way you will rise above. And people want to be committed back to you. And you'll also stand out as a leader. And that will lead to greater opportunities and greater success doing the grunt work doing the grind, as you said earlier, being that person who's willing to do that, I have a guy like that in my team chats, he's willing to do the work and guess what I'm seeing his commitment. It makes you want to give everything to Chas and help them grow. Because this guy is so committed. He's a young guy, but he's a committed guy. That is a rare, rare art these days to find people who are truly committed but to have a great relationship. You got to know that I'm committed to you.
• 20:38
  Jon Gordon: And I have to know that you're committed to me. And when we have that as team members and their service and sacrifice their well then we both grow together. We both grow as a team. I have so many stories. I share my keynotes about Schwinn Nader, who was truly committed to his team meeting. care about starting John Wooden recruited him to play UCLA, but they had Bill Walton. And so he said, Hey, we have Bill Walton here, so you're not gonna play much.
• 20:59
  Jon Gordon: But, you know, we want you to make Bill Walton better, and Schwinn later, he commits to practicing every day and challenging Bill Walton. Every day in practice, he's making Bill Walton better only person in NBA history, never to have started college game will be drafted in the first round of the NBA 12 year NBA career Rookie of the Year, what happened every day, he was making his team better, he got better. And that's my story at home too. I had to learn to be a committed dad, and a committed husband. And early on I wasn't, and the more I learned to commit to my family and serve them.
• 21:31
  Jon Gordon: It's crazy. My career actually improved dramatically. Every book that I wrote, after I made the decision to serve my family, and sacrifice sacrifice for them in a deeper and greater way.
• 21:42
  Jon Gordon: Every book after that was a best seller. It's been incredible to watch. When I made my family my priority, when you invest in the room, you'd agreed suppliers are focused on the fruit of the tree, ignore the root, the tree dies, and the last he is care.
• 21:55
  Jon Gordon: So I think when you commit, you show that you care. And I always tell leaders, you want to be a great leader, care about your people. And when you care about them, they'll care about the team. They'll care about the customers, and they'll care about the results. But start with caring. So many
• 22:11
  Randall Kaplan: leaders have to have such a tough front. I'm a leader, I'm the CEO. Nothing bothers me instill confidence, how important is vulnerability in being a leader? And what are the benefits of being vulnerable? And then what are the magic words people should say?
• 22:24
  Jon Gordon: I think the key for that leader, though, is not to wilt under pressure, and not to crumble. But to be honest, and say, you know, this is this is tough right now. Or we're going through his heart I'm struggling with, with what we're going through and what we're facing.
• 22:37
  Jon Gordon: And I'm trying to figure out the answers. But guess what, I believe in what we're doing, I'm gonna find a way or actually, we will find a way together and be honest and transparent. But also, it is important for that leader, to instill hope as a leader, you are a dealer, in hope. As a leader, you have to inspire hope in your team. Also, leadership is a transfer of belief. And so you have to make sure you're transferring that belief, to your team about what you can accomplish, even though you're going through a tough time and facing challenges. So when leaders are going through that, I think it's important to be vulnerable. But also vulnerability doesn't mean weak.
• 23:19
  Jon Gordon: It just means what you're struggling with. It means what you're facing, it means how you're experiencing the situation and what you're going through, and the challenges you're facing. But then, but here's where we're going now.
• 23:33
  Jon Gordon: But here's what we're going to be successful. So I think it's okay to talk about your challenges. But I do believe in those moments, you can't say, I know if we're gonna make it. I don't know if that's the best answer to say, as a leader, I believe you have to share while you believe we're going to make it, it might be okay to say, you know, this is tough in the future is uncertain, but we're going to do everything we can.
• 23:53
  Jon Gordon: This is the game plan. And this is how I believe we're gonna be successful. And we're gonna follow this plan to success. And if we have to adapt, we will.
• 24:03
  Jon Gordon: But I do believe leadership is a transfer of belief. And you have to inspire that in your team, Steve Jobs has a reality distortion field. Right time we try to get as he would say, there was no way we create the software, this hardware in this amount of time. And Steve would say, get your head around it, you can do it. And time and time again, he might have said in other words, but time and time again, they accomplished the very thing that they thought was impossible. It was because he distorted their reality from pessimism. Or some would say realism. I'm just being a realist, the optimism and when you believe your team, they will accomplish things that they never thought possible. And that's why I think your belief in a leaders belief is so important.
• 24:42
  Randall Kaplan: Talk about the book of the carpenter. It's a great book to read. If you're a entrepreneur starting a new business, what are the five most important ingredients one can be to be successful?
• 24:55
  Jon Gordon: harbinger is like one of my favorite books and people who have read it said it's their favorite book. It's created for entrepreneurs, I wrote this book with entrepreneurs in mine hasn't really taken off in the entrepreneurial community like I thought it would like I hoped it would. But I hope this during this podcast will help it because this book, when people read it, it really helps them get their mind in the right mindset, but also their leadership in the right form and process. And so a big part of being a carpenter is building with optimism and belief. It's designing your masterpiece, you have to know what it is you want to build and design it before you build it. And then the optimism and belief of what you're building. That carpenter then becomes a craftsman. And there's a difference a carpenter shows up to build something. But a craftsman is there to create a work of art there to create a masterpiece, and they show up every day with with passion, purpose, and heart and soul and care. And they're putting more energy into what they're building. The essence from within them, they're here to create something, create a masterpiece. So I always say to entrepreneurs, you gotta put the essence of who you are into what it is you're building. And that's where it has power when you do that. So that's a big part of the carpenter. And how do we do that we love we serve, we care. You love what you're building, love casts out fear.
• 26:07
  Jon Gordon: So anytime you focus on love, fear will dissipate. And fear is what paralyzes you, and it keeps you from your destiny. But love moves you towards it, and gives you the power to overcome your fear. I gotta say, when I was writing that book, I had so much fear, I never had writer's block before. People were loving the energy bus. They were loving my book training camp, which was one of my first books, which I love. That's my favorite book.
• 26:32
  Jon Gordon: And then the no complaining rule. So I'm thinking, people are gonna think that my best work was behind me. I had all these thoughts come in of negativity and sabotage, and instilling insecurity and doubt.
• 26:45
  Jon Gordon: And I woke up one morning, I had this epiphany, love casts out fear. So all I had to do is love the reader. love writing this book, love the process. And if I do that, I'll love with the process produces, I then Whoa, that knowledge and that insight into the story when the main character wrote that book in two and a half weeks after that, and had this book. And so that's a huge part of just loving it.
• 27:09
  Jon Gordon: When I talk to athletes, I always say love the competition, love the battle. Love the moment, if you love the competition, and you're not worried about the outcome, and you just love battling in the moment, you're gonna perform at a higher level, you're gonna have a higher state of mind instead of a low state of mind, a low state of mind is created by fear. high state of mind is created by love. Because love creates connection, that creates clarity, that creates confidence. And that creates courage. So love is the driver of all of it, then there's serve, you gotta serve each day serve and sacrifice. So guess what? You serve people all the time. And I know it comes back to you tenfold. When you serve the growth of others, and you mentor them and coach them and guide them. And they perform at a higher level, you then wind up rising up as well as their leader. So how can I serve my team? And help them be the best that they can be? How can I serve my customers, and then you show that you care? I'm convinced like caring is a lost art. And when you can't you stand out a world where most don't seem to care anymore. Like there's a great term I love it's called muraki. It sounds like it's a Japanese word. But it's actually a Greek word muraki me are Aki. And it means to do something with love and with soul. It means to leave a piece of yourself in your work. It means to leave something behind.
• 28:28
  Jon Gordon: And so when you care, you're here to leave something behind, you're leaving a legacy and you're putting your heart and soul into your work. And when you do you get smarter you stand out in a world that is just going through the motions. And so if you really want to be great at something, if you really want to build something meaningful, if you want to build a successful business, just care more, I had a marketing guy I met on the plane. And he told me about one of his clients who was a furniture bedding store in a small town of like 12,000. But doing like six to $7 million in sales of this small town. You want to know a secret. And of course, he said, every time they sell to a customer, after the sale, he calls up the customer and says how you doing? Are you happy with your product, anything we can do for you. Just that one call people see him in the grocery store. People see me at restaurants, they thank them all the time. That one call makes all the difference. You know that most Realtors after they sell a house or buy a house required, they never check with the credit to see like the house crazy. They don't do it. That one little act of caring makes the huge difference and separates you from the competition. So love, serve and care. I always say don't focus on growing your business. I know it sounds contract, no focus on loving serving and caring, and your business will exponentially grow from there. That's how I've actually done my business.
• 29:52
  Jon Gordon: That's how I focus. I never had business plans. I never had forecasts. Every day I would just love serving care. When I was with clients, I cared more.
• 29:59
  Jon Gordon: I interacted more. They wanted me to answer questions I did people reached out I would talk to them. I made time for people I truly believe that's why I've grown my business the way I have. It's taken longer. It it hasn't been immediate. But it's like when you do that you have sustained success over time and then you just start to take off exponentially from there.
• 30:24
  Randall Kaplan: So one of the key things that has made me successful, something that I call extreme preparation, okay, I'm not talking about preparing one hour for a meeting or half an hour or phoning it and I'm talking about spending 20 hours for meeting 40 hours made a presentation to Marriott few months ago 80 hours we got through 50 drafts of that PowerPoint. How important has extreme preparation been to your success and can you give us some examples?
• 30:50
  Jon Gordon: You know, I can never have that kind of preparation that you have. I believe we all have a caring trademark. And so everyone has a different caring trademark about how they show that they care.
• 31:00
  Jon Gordon: That is yours extreme extreme preparation, that wouldn't be mine. But do I prepare? Is it important? Yes. And the more I do prepare, the better I am, I customize every single talk. So I get to know the client, I get to know their challenges, I get to know what they're facing, a lot of people will just come in and give a canned speech. I never give a canned speech. So I believe that I care more by really learning about my client, the struggles, they're going through the messages they need to hear, and making sure that I customize my talk to them. and point out some of the people in the audience who are actually successful at that company. I love when I get to know some people within the audience and I can say, hey, so and so is doing this, so and so is doing this.
• 31:44
  Jon Gordon: So instead of doing this, you should talk to them. Or Guess what? You're struggling right now you're complaining about the economy, but they're thriving.
• 31:49
  Jon Gordon: Guess what, if they could do it, we can all do it. So I love getting to know my clients. And I think that's one of the ways that I show extreme preparation.
• 31:59
  Jon Gordon: The other way is, I would say is is is I prepare a lot with my ideas before I write a book. So I'll have the book in mind. And it won't leave me alone. Like this new book, The one truth that comes out in June, I talked to so many people over the summer. And we're sharing the ideas in that book with NFL players, NBA players, coaches, athletes, superstars, CEOs, sharing with people and some 16 year old that was struggling with anxiety and stress and suicidal thoughts. But I kept running it by people kept sharing it, to see if it wouldn't make an impact to see if this was the real deal. And if it really worked. And once I knew that it did, I'm like, Okay, now I can actually start writing about it. And so that's, I would say is extreme preparation, but my extreme preparation extreme for me will never match your level. And I think that's fine. I think that's great. I think you're a rare breed that does that. And you know what, that's why you'll stand out and what you do my Karen trademark is encouragement. And so when you need encouragement, you can reach out to me anytime. And I will encourage you when people reach out via Instagram or social media. And they need encouragement, I encourage them people reach out wanting to write a book. Because I've written 27 books, that's not my care and trademark. I'm not on Earth to help you write your book, I know that. But I could encourage you telling you, you have what it takes to write and you should do it. But someone else will have to help you do it. But I will encourage you on the journey. Or if you're really struggling with your marriage, I'll talk to the guy who's struggling. And next, you know, it reads relationship grit, and then sends via email with a picture of he and his wife and family on vacation when they were going to get divorced. And it's those kinds of moments that I demonstrate my current trademark.
• 33:47
  Randall Kaplan: You mentioned mental health a minute ago.
• 33:49
  Randall Kaplan: Yeah, version five children books. Yeah, bullying is a big topic 20% of kids between the ages of 12 and 18 report to being bullied in high school.
• 33:57
  Randall Kaplan: The suicide rate from 20 From 2000 to 2020 is up 30%. Wow.
• 34:02
  Randall Kaplan: What's going on with mental health these days? And how great is it that mental health has become a focal point in our society and our well being?
• 34:14
  Jon Gordon: It's I smiled there for a second because that's almost a whole podcast that we could do separately on this topic, it requires a separate topic about what's really going on. Because there's so many different facets, there's so many different challenges. And I believe that a society we're looking at in the wrong direction. And Dr. Ayman, who is the foremost expert on brain health really believes that mental health is being caused by brain health. So the challenges that we have in mental health is being caused by the fact that our brains are not healthy. And if you think about what creates the brain, it's the foods we're eating. It's the chemicals, the medicines, we're taking the guy who wrote brain energy, Chris Palmer, I just had him on my podcast. And we were talking about the metabolic process that is actual is actually what he believes a big part of mental health issues going on right now. Because it affects the mitochondria. And so the same factors that lead to diabetes, also lead to mental health issues. But I really believe the bigger issue is the fact that, you know, we're not teaching kids one, how to deal with the negative thoughts that are coming their way. That's a big part of what I do with kids and teenagers when I help them understand the negative thoughts they're having is a result of their brain, which is an antenna. And it's actually tuning into more negative thoughts. And they come in the form of lies and they sabotage them. They don't have to believe the lies that they tell. And once a kid understands that, they stop feeling guilt, they start feeling the shame they They stopped beating themselves up. And once they understand how thoughts work, that is a major, major shift in their mental health. The kids I coached this summer, three of them all turned around like that when I taught this to them. And this is currently not being taught in the psychological framework and the process of mental health. So I'm hoping to give new tools with this one truth book to psychologists and counselors and a new way of looking at it, that will help them better treat and better take care of the patients they are working with and help them understand that we're all looking at situation and social media. And we're looking at outside forces, but we have to realize those outside forces are result of looking outside instead of inside, comparing and despairing. And the more we compare, we despair. But there's a reason why we're doing that.
• 36:45
  Jon Gordon: And there's a reason why it affects us. And once you help kids understand to look inside, not outside, don't compare, understand that the more we look outside, we feel powerless, we feel weak, we feel separate. And the more you look inside, the more you focus on love, the more you focus on your own purpose, your own path, and you help that kid get back to oneness, they start to feel healthier and better about themselves. As you move from oneness to separateness from connection and oneness to feeling separate and divided, you actually move from positive to negative. And so if you look at all mental health issues, they all report feelings of aloneness, isolation, and disconnection, they all feel separate. So how can we help kids and adults move back towards oneness? Relational psychology will tell you that you can heal in a loving relationship. And so how can we help people understand that they're loved, and have relationships where they're receiving that love, that's a big part of healing. It's why addiction programs all believe in a higher power community.
• 37:49
  Jon Gordon: Because in that community, you feel oneness and you feel connection, that's where healing takes place. So there's a lot of factors, but the foods we're eating, I'm convinced, again, the brain is an antenna, when you create an antenna that's damaged, and you damage the antenna with foods and pesticides, because again, what is your brain, neurons, mitochondria in your brain, the neurons contain a transmitter and receiver on every neuron.
• 38:11
  Jon Gordon: And you're actually tuning into different frequencies, thoughts positive or negative again? And you understand that how can I get the brain to start tuning into a higher positive frequency instead of a negative frequency?
• 38:24
  Jon Gordon: And, you know, we know cognitive behavior therapy, the more actually get you to think and do in a positive way you start to feel better. Why is that?
• 38:32
  Jon Gordon: Because the brain is an antenna, the more you actually start thinking that way and feeding yourself with positive thoughts and taking positive action, you start to feel better, and you start to feel more connected, the more you feel separate, alone and isolate, you don't want to act you don't want to move. And because of that, you start to tune into more of a negative frequency. So he literally explained in this new book, like my theories and reasons and what I'm calling for, I'm making it very clear.
• 38:58
  Jon Gordon: I'm not a neuroscientist, but I'm calling for the neuroscientists to actually start doing research to show that these ideas have have power and have some strong insights that could actually make some changes in the game. And I had Dr. Ayman on I had Andrew Newberg who Newberg, who is one of the top researchers in neuro theology on how prayer and meditation from different religions affect the brain. We had a great conversation, Chris Palmer, great energy. So I've been really diving deep into this, talking to the leading folks there. And then talking to the folks in the mental health space in terms of psychology and understanding what's happening there, relational psychology there. And once you understand the big picture, again, I'm an Application person, I can see how it all fits and patterns and how to apply it. That's what I truly believe we'll be able to save a lot of lives. And think about the last few years, there's been so many kids struggling with fear and anxiety and disconnection, feeling a lack of purpose. And these negative thoughts, onboarding them. I sat down with a six year old and I knew him because I knew his mom. And when I got together with them, he didn't want to meet at first but he finally met I said you have a lot of thoughts in your head. He said us so many. I said really bombarding you. He said all the time. They accuse me they attacked me. Once he understood his negative thoughts were not coming from him. And he started beating himself up. Everything changed next day. Different kid reached out to him just recently how're you doing to do great Mr.
• 40:31
  Jon Gordon: Gordon high state of mind.
• 40:33
  Jon Gordon: feeling awesome. It's incredible. Two circles. What were the 1000 Dots, one with three dots. That was a three which might we'll perform at a higher level, which might we'll have a higher state of mind the three or the 1000. That's right.
• 40:48
  Jon Gordon: We know that intuitively. 1000 is all the clutter all The thoughts creating insecurity, fear, doubt, creating a lower state of mind the moment the three dots, clarity, focus, love, positive energy, higher state of mind, mindfulness and meditation, what do they do lower the amount of thoughts that we have in our head, creating a higher state of mind.
• 41:09
  Jon Gordon: So my one true theory actually explains mindfulness and meditation helps helps us understand that positivity elevates our state of mind.
• 41:15
  Jon Gordon: Negativity lowers our ceiling, it all comes down to state of mind. I have had friends and their kids in their neighborhood committed suicide. And one of my friends, literally, it does happen every week reaches out every week, I get an email saying, or text from a friend saying this has happened in their neighborhood. And it's why I'm so passionate about this.
• 41:37
  Jon Gordon: Because we have more mental health experts than ever, we have more psychologists than ever, we're dispensing more medications than ever. And yet, the problem is only getting worse. And we need kids to understand what's going on. And we need to realize there's a mental and spiritual battle going on. And there's a battle for their minds and their hearts and their souls. And we got to help these kids how to win the battle. And that's why I'm passionate about it. Because I know this won't help. And it's why it's so powerful to do that.
• 42:05
  Jon Gordon: And I struggled with it.
• 42:08
  Jon Gordon: Because, you know, I was depressed myself. And in my younger days as well. I wanted to kill myself as a kid. I didn't know what that's like.
• 42:14
  Jon Gordon: And I had a son who struggled with his mental health, especially during the quarantine, he was in college and the isolation. And man, it took everything I had to help my son to get through it. And we did thank god, he's doing great now, but it was it was touching go there for a while where I was scared, and it was a rough time.
• 42:32
  Jon Gordon: So we understand what all these kids are going through. And it's like it's an epidemic now more than ever of what's going on.
• 42:38
  Jon Gordon: Yeah. And that's why we have to help them. We have to help them we have to bring them into connection. Bring them into love. Teach them the battle that's going on how to win the battle of their mind and their thoughts. And when we do that, we'll change everything.
• 42:48
  Randall Kaplan: Yeah. 18 year old kid, freshman in college, perfect life, no complaints shot himself in the head.
• 42:55
  Jon Gordon: Now. You like why, why? Why? Why would any kid choose to do that themselves?
• 43:00
  Jon Gordon: And guess what? It's not them.
• 43:03
  Jon Gordon: It's not, it's the thoughts that come in, accuse them. Negative thoughts will always attack you in the place of your identity.
• 43:11
  Jon Gordon: You're not worth it. Your life's not worth it. And in that, that single moment, that of weakness of feeling love feeling like what? What what's the point? Why does it matter is when that happens to them. So this is one of my life's missions. And it's why I just I literally after the summer, I'm like I'm writing this book. Now. I'm writing it quickly. And I'm gonna get this out there. I've got to have as many kids as possible read this book, bounce forward, the garden to the garden, wrote literally tears ago became a Wall Street Journal bestseller, even though it's actually a spiritual fable.
• 43:42
  Jon Gordon: And it's about two teenagers struggling with fear, stress and anxiety. And one of the teens was suicidal. And it was about how to win the battle of their mind. And they have a teacher and neighborhood friend Mr.
• 43:54
  Jon Gordon: Irwin, who teaches them how to win the battle of their mind overcome the five B's let's help people to find these, these kids who deal with out distortion, negative thoughts, which are lies, distortions are lies of the truth. And we have these lies that come in all the time.
• 44:09
  Jon Gordon: And that kid who did that he was being lied to. And so he hears the lies, that breaks my heart, and then discouragement. So we have the doubt and the distortions, and then we get discouraged. And we don't give up because it's hard, we give up because we get discouraged. And that is really a big challenge when when these kids are getting discouraged, and they're choosing to give up. And we have adults that get the Scourge and they give up. And then there's distractions. Okay, I'm doing okay, but I have these distractions, social media, media, people telling me things that are good for me when they're not, were things that seem right and shiny, I should have this job, I should be going to this college. I'm not succeeding at school. And so as a result of that, my if I'm not if I'm not doing well, my life doesn't matter. Now that's just a distraction, keeping you from what really matters who you are on the inside. And then finally, the fifth D is divide. And the word anxious means divided it's Greek root word. And so if you look at anxious and divided, you'll get the word for anxious.
• 45:08
  Jon Gordon: And then there's a word that actually is the root word of that it means to separate and to divide. And so think about that will feel anxious, we feel divided, we feel separate. So my belief and my theory is that negative thoughts separate us and divide us and make us feel powerless and hopeless. And those negative thoughts are always trying to separate us and that's why coming back to oneness is the key. And the more you do that you move from negative to positive you move from separation to oneness and connection, which is health. And that's why again, community love spirituality, God. People in this world are so against God right now, it seems it's like do you realize that the key to life is not to be detached from God is to be a attached to the creator of the universe. And there's scripture that says nothing could separate you from the love of God. And I'm telling you this when the more you realize that there's a greater force that loves you, it changes the course of your life because that's what happened to me. The press down, wife's about to leave them. They finally said, I can't do this alone. I accept that instead of receiving the love of the Creator. And I felt there was a personal love that loved me and I received it changed my life.
• 46:18
  Randall Kaplan: You've changed so many people's lives, probably 10s of 1000s over your career, you're still doing it today. The story of Damon West Yeah. It's one of the greatest ones I've ever heard in my life. Here's a guy grew up football star in Texas, Texas football 15,000 People come in the game do you want quarterback starts doing drugs, goes to Wall Street starts doing math becomes a drug kingpin. Marshalls looking for him for three years flashbang grenade into the door life in prison. Gets out. He's Dabo Sweeney, cold calling and basically at a conference going up to him gets a break. And then you change his life. Can you explain what you did for him?
• 47:01
  Randall Kaplan: Damon loves you. He credits you for changing everything.
• 47:06
  Jon Gordon: Daymond changed his life. I just was being obedient.
• 47:10
  Jon Gordon: After just receiving this insight. I received insights all the time. That's an intuitive hit. It's a download whether it's a book or an idea, and I would Dabo Swinney, I speak I speak the Clemson football every year so this was like my 12 year speaking or something like that.
• 47:25
  Jon Gordon: But when I'm there with Dabo was part of my 10th year speaking.
• 47:29
  Jon Gordon: And Damon Wes had just come to visit, Clemson football to speak. And Dabo said this this guy Damon last man, he was doing math, he was burglarizing homes known as the Uptown burglar put in jail for 65 years, he gets out and seven it was like a miracle he got out. But then he wants to speak to football teams, no one gives him a chance he met me I'm like, This guy's crazy. But maybe I'll give him a chance winds up giving him a chance. And it gives like the most amazing talk to the team, about life in prison about you don't want to go to prison, about being the coffee bean. So Dabo tells me all about the coffee bean story, carrot, egg and coffee bean. So I hear that and I'm like, Man, I love that.
• 48:10
  Jon Gordon: See, I have always been talking about inside out that we don't create the world outside in, we created inside out the power is on the inside. And that's what I teach kids, you have the power to transform your world, you have the power to impact this world. You're not a victim of your circumstance, you can transform your circumstance. And so I was teaching that for years. But once I heard the coffee being sort of like that's a perfect analogy for the Inside Out message. So I had a vision right away for the book. And so I reached out to Damon West after I got the number from Dabo. I said we should do a book called The coffee bean. Say, John, because you've done all these best selling books. You've sold millions of copies. You don't have to do this book with me. I'm like I'm supposed to.
• 48:50
  Jon Gordon: It's and I know I'm supposed to do it. So let's do it together.
• 48:52
  Jon Gordon: Yeah, I could do it. But let's do it together. I said, and I'll give you half my advance that I got from the publisher. Because it was like his agent, there was a catch, as he kept saying there's a catch. Well, there was no catch. It was wild, I knew was divine, because the exact money I gave him for the events was the exact dollar set of dollars that he had to owe his parents when they took up all his legal bills and pay for his paid for his lawyers that he promised to pay back at some point. They never thought they would get that money back because it was a lot of money.
• 49:21
  Jon Gordon: And he was able to pay them back with that one check. So then we read the coffee being together.
• 49:28
  Jon Gordon: I had on my podcast and also positive summit that we do every year. And people saw a story and then he took off like a rocket ship. It was like Oprah and Dr.
• 49:39
  Jon Gordon: Phil, you know, in a lesser extent we're not opened up Deville but but in a in a way he took off and now he's been making a huge impact. And I know, this was what was meant to happen. I was meant to hear the story. We were meant to write this book impact kids lives and people's lives, teaching them that they have the power to transform their team, their environment, their company, their community. This was the perfect message. I speak on that all the time. So does Damon here we are going out there both speaking on it. I do a lot of the energy bus and positive leadership as well and positive teamwork. But him doing mostly mostly coffee bean. And now he's impacting so many lives. So it's the ripple effect, right? The the ripple effect of making a difference. And always call me out go to speak here this event.
• 50:21
  Jon Gordon: It's like you go for it and that we cheer each other on. And when my son was going through a tough time, guess what? Damon was right there for my son, helping him through his toughest time.
• 50:31
  Jon Gordon: Well, my daughter started speaking because my daughter is 24 now she's speaking Damien West was giving her advice. So you put it out there and always comes back to you in meaningful ways.
• 50:40
  Randall Kaplan: If you put yourself in the mindset when you were younger, you're talking about you were suicidal. Yeah, you lost your business almost lost your family where you are today. 27 books 14 Best Sellers$40,000 speaking gigs,
• 50:56
  Jon Gordon: making 75 Now
• 50:57
  Randall Kaplan: 75 Yeah, the stigma. Hopefully one day I'll be in that ballpark, making millions of dollars. Did you ever think when you were going through those hard times, you'd be where you are today? No, what's your message there,
• 51:11
  Jon Gordon: you're not a true success, unless you help others be successful. And I've made a lot I've done really well financially, more than I've ever dreamed I would ever accomplish much more than I thought from the.com days, I'm doing what I love, and I never focus on the money, I never focus on what I'm making. I still live very normally, I still live a very normal existence. When I meet people, and they want to talk to me, I'm there to talk to them.
• 51:34
  Jon Gordon: So I think the lesson is stay humble and hungry, and believe in a brighter and better future.
• 51:43
  Jon Gordon: Do what you're called to do.
• 51:43
  Jon Gordon: Love what you do, decide to serve people, show you care every single day, face rejections along the way, but overcome them and be more purposeful, and grittier than the challenges and the obstacles that you face. And if you do those things, and you're really doing what you're meant to do, I believe God will move heaven and earth to support you, on the journey. Just get really clear, what is it that you truly want?
• 52:10
  Jon Gordon: And what do you want to create?
• 52:14
  Jon Gordon: And what do you want to build.
• 52:14
  Jon Gordon: And now I give more away that I used to make in the restaurant business a year, and I give it to charities and nonprofits and churches and missions. And my wife and I love to give away and we give a lot away. And I think it's always about remembering where you came from. And then and then giving back like, I make more now in a speaking engagement than my parents made in two years of working a full year combined together. And that's not lost on me like, I am very grateful for what I have.
• 52:46
  Jon Gordon: And I don't think I'm better than anyone else. I don't charge that because I'm better. I charge that because I know the value that I bring. But I also do 12 pro bono events, events every single year, that people don't pay me. And I find ways to serve, because that always keeps you focus on the main thing. And keeping the main thing, the main thing of making a difference. I never want to be too successful, they don't have time to make a difference. And I think that's why I didn't have success right away, being 52. Now, I'm just hitting my shot. I believe right now I'm just like real. I mean, even though I've sold millions of books, I'm just really getting into a groove where I think making the greatest impact I've ever made in my life. And having my 50th birthday party of the day, even though it's 52, we had my 50th birthday party, because we couldn't celebrate during COVID. And so all the friends got together just recently. But But now, you know, now that I'm in that mode of doing that, I had the struggle, because I had to have the humility, that when I got here, I'd be someone who had the character that wouldn't ruin it, and the character that would actually start investing in others, and develop others. I think if I had success too quick, I wouldn't be the kind of person that helped others be successful right now be focused on me. And I would say probably the same thing for you. If you had success too quickly. You had the struggle, anyone who has to struggle, you realize there's something unique about them, there's a character they have that's different. And because they know what it's like to actually grind it out to do whatever it takes to get there.
• 54:19
  Jon Gordon: And because of that they have something special and something humble about them that makes them more of service to others.
• 54:26
  Jon Gordon: And I think that's my key to success. I think it's your the key to success. And I think that's why we were meant to do this podcast together.
• 54:32
  Randall Kaplan: I appreciate you being here. We've covered a lot of topics. Is there anything we haven't covered that you want to cover before we end?
• 54:38
  Jon Gordon: This advice I've ever heard because I want to help people take action. And if I don't do this, this won't help them take action. Best advice ever heard from Dr. James gills, the only person on the planet that complete six double Ironman triathlons, which means you do an Ironman a day away to another one. And the last time he did he was 59 years old. And he was asked how he did it. He said this. I've run a talk to myself instead of listen to myself. If I listen, I hear all the fear, the negativity, the doubt, all the reasons why I can't finish this race. But if I talk to myself, I get to feed myself with the words and the encouragement that I need to keep on moving forward. We talked about those kids struggle, we talked about people struggling out there. One of the best things you can do is to encourage yourself, encourage others the word encourage means to put courage into so when you encouraging someone you put some courage into them. When you're encouraging yourself you put in courage into yourself and right now, we need courageous people to do great things for others.
• 55:37
  Randall Kaplan: He's done a lot for a lot of people. I appreciate you being here. This has been awesome conversation.
• 55:41
  Randall Kaplan: Thanks for being here and thanks for coming on the show. Thanks for having me.