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Transcript

Your 'I'm Fine' Is Killing You | The Misalignment Trap · Harder Than Life

• 0:01
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• 0:30
  Feeling like a fraud does not mean you're fake. It means your identity hasn't caught up with your growth. You've outperformed the version of yourself. Your nervous system is still living in an old chapter while your life has already turned the page. Here's a harder than life truth. People who do nothing.
• 0:51
  Don't feel like frauds. People who expand do. Confidence doesn't come from hype. It comes from repetition. ABC action builds confidence. Experience stretches you and stretched things feel unstable before they feel strong. Here's a truth most people miss. The
• 1:10
  People who never feel like frauds usually haven't been tested yet. Experience humbles you. And you're either humble or you will be. Your emotions can lie to you. Your inner critic lies to you for sport. Proof doesn't lie. Leaders admit they're becoming and they go first. The sentence doesn't lower your standards. It removes the lie that you're supposed to be finished. You're not behind. You're not exposed. You're mid-build.
• 1:41
  There are people watching or listening to this right now who have put in years of work, not dabbling, not guessing, not trying something for a month. Years. They built skills. They earned respect. They created real, tangible results. And yet, when things go quiet, they still feel like they're lying to everyone. And that...
• 2:10
  is what really messes with them. Is that the feeling that doesn't come when they fail? It comes when they win. Let's be clear about something right away. Feeling like a fraud does not mean you're fake. It means your identity hasn't caught up with your growth.
• 2:30
  You've outperformed the version of yourself you still think you are, and that's a good thing. Your nervous system is still living in an old chapter, while your life has already turned the page. Here's a harder-than-life truth. People who do nothing don't feel like frauds. People who expand do.
• 2:57
  You are on the right path. You are making the right choices. We simply need to kill off our old self, the person we used to be. More on that later, but no, you're not a fraud, even though you may feel like one. And remember, feeling is healing. Now we strip this thing down to facts.
• 3:25
  Frauds don't build skills like the HTL Nation are. You're building major skills. I see you tuning in to all the shows, watching the Instagram reels, taking in all that I'm giving out. Yes, I give it all out. I'm proud of you. Frauds avoid any and all growth skills instead of opting for excuses,
• 3:54
  Louder voices instead of loud actions. You hear me refer many times to the big hat, no cattle. That's in reference to a fraud. Somebody's screaming out loud all the things that they have. You don't need to, winners win. They don't need to tell you they're winners. This card that I'm holding up in front of you says skill. Skill is earned in reps, in boredom, in frustration.
• 4:23
  In fear. Fear of being in the same place tomorrow they were in today. Or worse yet, next year. Skill is staying when quitting would have been easier. Skill is doing it wrong, correcting it, and doing it again and again and again. That's the lost art of trial and error.
• 4:50
  It's important to measure the results. What we measure gets better and we lead nothing to feelings, only facts. Here's a nervous system insight. Your mind might forget that you earned this. Your body remembers every rep. And when you reach my age, you might feel it and it feels so good.
• 5:12
  The ache of hard work and exhaustion feels a lot like fulfillment, alignment, even purpose. Your hands will remember the work. Your instincts will remember it. Your reflex remember. Your friends and family who are watching will remember it too. Your fake friends will try to talk you down, telling you that you are fine where you are and that they love you, not knowing
• 5:40
  That you leveling up threatens their status quo.
• 5:44
  Do it anyways. Confidence doesn't come from hype. It comes from repetition. ABC. Action builds confidence. It's built brick by brick, day by day, week after week, month after month, and in most cases, especially mine, year after year. Keep going until you get what you came for or something greater. The universe says so and will align to get you there.
• 6:15
  Now we go where most people get uncomfortable. Comfort kills growth. So get comfortable being uncomfortable from here on out. The card I'm holding up right now says experience. Experience is paid for with the aforementioned skills that we talked about.
• 6:35
  It's paid with time, with embarrassment, with losses, with moments you wish you could erase. Experience stretches you and stretched things feel unstable before they feel strong. Here's a truth most people miss. The people who never feel like frauds usually haven't been tested yet. Experience humbles you and you're either humble or you will be.
• 7:05
  unless of course you are a true fraud, then enjoy it. It removes false confidence and replaces it with earned awareness. You didn't wake up here, you lived your way here. Experience builds wisdom and comes from putting yourself out there. So congratulations, you are living. This is where feelings lose their voice.
• 7:33
  This card says proof. Proof is outcomes, results, receipts. Y'all hear everybody talking about, I kept the receipts. This comes in solving problems, people that you've helped, and the value you've delivered.
• 7:52
  Here's the fact, your emotions can lie to you. Your inner critic lies to you for sport. Proof doesn't lie, it can't. A six pack of abs at 50 says discipline and consistency in my life. 220 plus episodes of the 100 Life Podcast says I won't quit, I can't. Two books are written proof I'm in the arena fighting with you. This is obviously my proof. Take a second and think of what yours is.
• 8:21
  Don't be shy. What proof do you have of your accomplishments? Remember, perhaps you're making more money than you ever imagined. Or perhaps you speak two languages. It could be you have the car of your dreams. Or better yet, your kids are productive members of society because they're kind and loving. It can be anything.
• 8:46
  But I know you have something. The proof is in the pudding is an old saying that my mom used to say. But the full saying is the proof of the pudding is in the eating.
• 8:57
  rather the tasting. I had to look this up to figure out really what it meant, but the pudding doesn't look like much, but it sure is good. And if you've ever made pudding, you know it's not even that hard. We'll talk about this later, but just let that sit for just a second. Pudding tastes good. It's filling. It's not hard to make. Skill, experience, and proof.
• 9:22
  It's not fraud. That's expansion. And if you listen to this show for any amount of time, you're addicted to the expansion of your being. You're looking to cast a larger shadow. Doing more for others. That's what growth feels like before your identity updates. And boy, does it feel good. This replaces fraud.
• 9:46
  And this card says, it's a reframe. If I'm being honest, this reframe was most difficult one for me. Perhaps it will be easier for you. This card says, I'm in process. And it felt like a cop out to me, but it's not. I implore you, lean into this. Because frauds pretend they have arrived. Leaders admit they're becoming and they go first. This sentence doesn't lower your standards.
• 10:15
  It removes the lie that you're supposed to be finished. You're not behind. You're not exposed. You're mid-build. Most won't, but you will. I'm very proud of each and every one of you. Growth feels unstable before it feels inevitable. Unstable is another word for unfamiliar, uncomfortable, unknown. Live there and
• 10:40
  and growth will not be denied. You don't outgrow those fraudulent feelings by shrinking. You outgrow them by continuing the process. You don't feel like it, do it anyway. Here's a quick hack. Come into the next step. Surely you can take one more step
• 11:00
  One more rep, one more day. You're in the process. This card says, results don't care how I feel. You don't earn confidence by waiting to feel ready. I hate to tell you this, you're never gonna be ready.
• 11:17
  but that's the beautiful part. They say the youth is wasted on a youth. When I started my company, National Technology Management, I just started it. I was too young and naive to think. I just jumped, dove in the deep end, both freaking feet, no life preserver. The lesson here is to not sit and think. It's paralysis through analysis, just jump,
• 11:47
  Do the thing that you're afraid to do or that feels fraudulent. You earn everything by showing up again and again and again. Executing again, doing the work again. Staying when your mind tells you to bail. When you are tired, lonely, afraid, or even better yet, which I've remembered,
• 12:14
  Have no signs of the work that you're doing is paying off. I've said it a thousand times. Believe in invisible progress. It's working. Keep in mind that an iceberg is 90% of the masses under the water or that water eventually wears out a rock someday.
• 12:33
  Your feelings will catch up after your actions do. Momentum cures fraud syndrome. If this hits you, don't overthink it. As Nike used to say, just do it. Start the side hustle. Ask the girl or guy out. Begin the weight loss program or the physical fitness program.
• 12:55
  On your deathbed, you won't regret trying. You will regret the things you didn't do. Send this to someone who is quietly winning and still doubting themselves.
• 13:06
  Please rate and share this podcast. I'm active on all social platforms and love to hear from my Segal supporters. Each and every episode is sponsored by my company, National Technology Management, the easiest and best IT company to do business with, delivering peace of mind with technology every day, even simplifying cybersecurity. Visit TrustNTM.com for more info. Until next week, be harder than life.