Latest / Beyond Limits With Olivia Marie / My Experience With Loss, Stillbirth, Postpartum, Spirit Babies & Tips For You

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My Experience With Loss, Stillbirth, Postpartum, Spirit Babies & Tips For You · Beyond Limits With Olivia Marie

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Live Well Podcast.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Liv, a naturopathic doctor, mentor, energy healer, aka breeder, intuitive, energetic business mentor, and honestly, so much more.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: I help you heal on a physical and emotional level so that you can feel delicious in your health, body, relationships, career, and bank account.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: This show is for those of you who are looking to go beyond the basic wellness stuff, cut out the BS, and really create a life you love.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: We talk about health, trauma healing, energetics, feminine energy, wealth, and magnetism so that you can live a life that feels delicious.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: In these episodes, we will have an honest conversation without the fluffy bullshit.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: You walk away with all of the insights, tools, and tips to truly live your best life, mind, body, and soul.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: If you are looking to live well, you are in the right place.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: For ways to work with me, visit keepeupwithlive.com and follow me on Instagram at keep up with live for more.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: And with that, let's get into the show.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: Hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Live Podcast.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: I am excited to get this episode out because I feel like it's going to be helpful for so many people.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if you couldn't tell by the title, we are going to be talking about, well, some heavy stuff today, but also there's going to be lighter moments because I feel like it's going to be a perfect balance of true me.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: But like we're going to talk about some real shit and then we're also going to get into some more like lighter, I guess, fun.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: But obviously, trigger warning in advance, if you could tell by the title, if you are not in the headspace to listen to this episode, maybe come back at a different time.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, or if you don't want to hear about my experience with loss, you kind of want to get like more of like the tips, but you don't want the full story.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'll have my podcast editor kind of leave a timestamp down below just to kind of like a rough like, you know, skip to this many minutes through if you want to get more into like the the lighter content-ish.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um that way I kind of separate it.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: But I mean, I think it's gonna be a good episode no matter what.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Even if you haven't dealt with loss like this before, I think it's something that everyone kind of needs to hear.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: And then yeah, we'll go from there.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: But that's like my my warning in advance that you're clicking on this episode for a reason.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I just want to make sure you're in the head space to receive it.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: So that's my little warning, everyone.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: But let's go ahead and dive in.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: So this episode might be like all over the place.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um I vaguely like wrote notes so that I could make sure I don't forget anything.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I also took questions from Instagram, which I will get through at the end.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: But um, yeah, so let's go ahead and dive in.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: So my experience with loss, stillbirth, postpartum, sphere babies, and kind of like some tips, advice to kind of go through.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: So just to give you guys a background, I think there was, and fairly so there's a lot of assumptions that I had a miscarriage, I did not have a miscarriage, just because I feel like that's a different experience for people than what I went through.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't want to necessarily like you might have a very different experience.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, even among miscarriages, people can have different experiences.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: But just so you know, my view and my lens might be slightly different than yours because it's not the exact same thing that happened to me.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so just note that.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: And the brief kind of history is there was nothing like unavoidable that we could have done without getting like too many details, but essentially we found out that the baby wasn't going to basically survive full term or like be able to survive after being like outside.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: And so we or I had to give birth when I say we because I feel like it was a joint experience.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but what I think was super different about maybe my situation is that we kind of knew going in what would happen into the hospital versus sometimes I think with miscarriage people, it's a sudden event that happens and then it's happening to you versus being aware of what it is about to happen and kind of being able to deal with it as it comes.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: So um that's kind of the history to give you some context to this kind of experience.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, nothing that we could have prevented, um, but I did have to be induced to kind of like for risks for me, risks for for them.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: And with that, I went through like a full labor.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: So let's say like I was induced how someone like a full term would be induced, went through the full like, you know, contractions, cramping, pain, giving actual physical birth, kind of like the thing, same things that you would go through.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's really funny.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: The the nurse said to me, she's like, just because it's a small baby, don't expect that the pain is any less.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, kind of dismissed it.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: It still was a lot.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: So the first thing I kind of want to dive into with any kind of loss and what's really helped me, because I feel like there's a lot of people, and there is a lot of people, kind of like surprised at how well I'm doing, or surprised at how well I've been able to handle it, process it, move through it.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like it's something that I moved through kind of very quickly, quote unquote.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: I was able to heal from like fairly quickly.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: And that doesn't mean that there wasn't grief and sadness and everything like that, but I was able to process it really well.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: But the number one thing I want to say is that you can either let pain and sadness contract you, or you can let it expand you.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I think people tend to label pain and suffering as something good, bad, or wrong, or not as it should be.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, it's not bad, wrong, or not as it should be.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Pain is not bad, pain is not wrong, suffering is not bad, suffering is not wrong.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: But when you let that sadness kind of consume you, when you let it become everything, not in a way where like you're grieving.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I've had people say, well, like it's healthy to grieve.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: And in no way did I ever say it's not healthy to grieve.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: But there are times where people get stuck in their grief, get stuck in their sadness, and then they can't move forward, or it holds them back, or it stops them from getting pregnant again, or it keeps them triggered by seeing babies.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like the next day, I was seeing babies at Walmart and I was, you know, buying, because I didn't have full underwear, which you need to wear after giving birth.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: So we had to go to Walmart and buy full underwear.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, see that's what I need, a little bit of lightness.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I saw babies and I was like, my heart was completely full and overjoyed.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like I didn't, it didn't make me sad, it didn't make me upset.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: And so, like I said, you can either let it contract you or you can let it expand you.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: And what is the big difference is that it's not about not allowing yourself to grieve or not allowing yourself to crumble, it's about moving through it.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: Think about yourself like moving through the fog instead of saying trapped in the fog, not knowing where to go.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's like a just keep swimming, like a finding Nemo, you just keep swimming and you just keep going and feeling the feelings without labeling it as bad, wrong, or not as it should be.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: And another aspect I want to talk about is the fact that there was no point where I said, why me?
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: You know, why this sucks?
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: Why me?
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: What did I, you know, all of that stuff.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: When you take a macro view of these things, when you're able to zoom out and really look at the bigger picture, I was really able to tap into the other side of like the expansion that this was going to give me.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: And let me tell you, life will bend for how courageous you are.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: And having the courage to walk through this and process these types of emotions through loss will allow you to feel the expansion on the other side.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: And so, how you really have it all in the process of enlightenment is really about holding the duality of life at the really positive and at the really negative.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: And can in those periods of extreme pain and loss, can you also feel bliss, ecstasy, and happiness?
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: And when you do that, you dissolve it and get to a point of neutrality.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: And that's exactly what I did with that pain, grief, sadness of everything, you know, of the loss of whatever, you know, the what-ifs, you know, or not the even the what-ifs, but like the grief and the loss of not, you know, being able to have a child right now or have a child full term of like the what this experience is teaching me and giving me.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: And let me tell you, it, and I said this in an Instagram post, gave me so much more than it took from me.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: It made my relationship so much stronger.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: It gave me so much more depth in my relationship than I would ever thought there could be.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: It gave me a better way to serve my clients.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: You know, the more I'm able to hold, the more I'm able to hold other people.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: Even some people who are going through, you know, miscarriage or fertility issues, not that I'm in fertility issues, but they're kind of like all in the same boat.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: This allowing me to, you know, hold more.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: So it's all about really recognizing and zooming out.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: But when you're very zoomed into the why-me, you know, kind of scenario and it's very contractive, you're not able to see that.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: You really need to zoom out.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I promise you, because I was asked this like, do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like 1000% without a doubt.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: Can I say now that everything not only happens for a reason, but happens for your highest good?
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that maybe it could be slightly triggering for me to say, or you might be like, How can you say that?
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: Blah, blah.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: But it's true.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like everything happens to serve you.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's really about and not bypassing yourself and not feeling the emotions, but like, can you feel the emotion while at the same time, this is the key, also recognizing that it's happening for you.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's breaking you down to build you back up better, to give you something more, right?
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: So that's kind of like the really the crux of like how I was able to move through loss quite rapidly and really dissolve those emotions and collapse it.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: I feel within like a few days, I was able to dissolve and collapse things.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: And it's because of that, right?
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: But if you don't know these things, this is why I'm hoping this episode is gonna be really helpful for people who may not have experienced it yet, but like we all, and you can use this for any kind of loss, you can use this for death of a family member, you can use this for anything, right?
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: Can you zoom out and see how this actually served you and how it's for your highest good?
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: And can you then tap into the other side of like, can you let this expand you?
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: And like literally think about the energy of expansion, right?
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: Expansion gets bigger.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: Contraction, you literally make yourself smaller, right?
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: You literally contract your body, your shoulders get rounded.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: So when you are feeling that contractive experience, can you instead make yourself bigger?
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like literally make your physical body bigger, take a deep, bigger breath, spread your chest, like make yourself bigger instead of letting it crush you and crumble you.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: Can you welcome it in and push it out so that it expands you?
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's another thing.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: I think a lot of the times people either get stuck in their emotion because they don't fully feel it, or they try to push it down, distract themselves, and they don't properly process it.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: The problem is that it's still there.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: And there's so much fear about welcoming the emotion.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: There's fear about, well, what if the pain is too much?
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: What if it's too much to hold?
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: First of all, you're never given too much or too much that you could hold.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: So because you were given it, know that you can hold it.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: Second, when you're able to welcome it in, that's when your nervous system actually expands.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's very contractive when you're holding things on the outside, but you're not fully allowing them in.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: But in order to process them, in order to make them go away, you actually need to hold, like bring them in.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: So when people get trapped and stuck, it's because they're holding the emotion outside that actually needs to be processed.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: When they you actually, if you were to welcome it in, if you were to have the courage, like I just said, life bends for how courageous you are.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: If you're to welcome it in with courage, without fear, knowing that sadness and pain is not bad, wrong, or not as it should be, all right?
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: Everything is neutral, there's no such thing, then you're able to actually move through it and you don't get stuck in it, and then you don't get stuck in the spiral.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: But it's when you don't process it properly that you end up getting stuck.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: And luckily, of course, I also have lots of tools.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it is my job to release trauma.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: So I was also very aware going through the process of like, well, this is going to be probably trauma.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: And instead of it being for my body, you know, as it was the whole process is happening, I was able to release it kind of as we went along and then afterwards as well, in literally the modalities that I teach.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: So having these tools and being able to not label things as bad, wrong, or now as it should be is like the number one tip that I have when it comes to loss and processing it and grief, et cetera.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, the one other thing I'll say before we kind of get onto the lighter stuff, because there's also some questions from Instagram that kind of touch on this that I'll kind of get into when I go over those questions.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: But it's the whole perception that there is such a thing as loss.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: There is no such thing as loss.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like which you might be like, well, yeah, Liv, you can lose things.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: No, you can't.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: There is no such thing as loss.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: Anytime you perceive that you lose something, it turns up somewhere else.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: You get it back if you allow it, but you have to be open to receiving it.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: But if you are stuck in that I lost something, I lost something, I lost something, and you're not zoomed out, and you're still zoomed in into that contract experience, you're unable to actually receive more.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: You're unapproached like you stay in that more lost mentality, or I would even consider it like a lack mentality versus recognizing how that also expanded you in other ways.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: So the last thing I want to say about that is that there's actually no such thing as loss, even though like I don't know what else to call this episode.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: So I put it loss, like I could even put loss in quotations.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: Because it was really funny because there's so many people, and like I realized actually through going through this, how much like the human condition just automatically goes, I'm so sorry, like I'm so sorry this happened to you.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, but I'm not like I know it's hard, I know it kind of sucked, and like I'm not denying any of that.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not denying that it doesn't suck and it's not hard for other people, but I'm not sorry that it happened because it gave me so much more than I could ever hope for.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: It expanded me more.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it might my psychicness is off the I was psychic before, but like now everything's opened up to a entire different level, and there's so many things.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so it was so interesting because I noticed there was a couple people who like messaged me um about it and they never said, and I'm so sorry for your loss, or I'm so sorry.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: And it was really funny because the people who didn't apologize were actually the people who I know who are like the most, you know, woo or spiritual, and it's so funny because it's like, huh, it's like they they kind of like they understand, or there are people who've gone through like deep pain as well.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: So they probably they probably know that, like, oh yeah, this is gonna expand here.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: So this, I don't know, I found that super interesting, but which brings me to kind of something I wanted to mention because this is, I know something that's hard to do on your own.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: And it's because like I've trained in trauma release and I know what to do.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: So this is why I'm going to be opening mini packages for exactly this.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: By the time you're listening to this, they are open.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: So definitely click the link below so that you can sign up.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: This is like my special little something for those people going through fertility issues, miscarriage, loss, um, stillbirth, kind of like anything in this package.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: It is like a whole thing for you to release the trauma.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: We're also going to be doing an Akashic reading where you can tap into your spear babies.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'll be able to tap into your spear baby, kind of relay messages, and we'll be able to tap into their energy because that was also something that really helped me both before giving birth and the kind of like after is the fact that I can I can talk to her anytime.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: If I want to talk to her, I want to know what's going on.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: I just I sit down and I talk to her, right?
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm very aware that not everyone is as used to talking to their spirit babies or even talking to spirits or like maybe is as strong in your mediumship or anything like that to be able to do so.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: So that's why I've created these mini packages for you guys for you to not only release trauma, but to heal the feminine energy, to heal any loss, but then to also kind of get either peace or if you haven't um had anything happen yet, but you kind of want to tap into your spirit baby, we're also gonna be doing any of that.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: So we get what is it, true, two trauma calls with me and a caution reading where we can tap into your spirit baby and kind of like a month of daily voice and text support for me.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: So if you feel like that's like something you feel called to, click the link below because this is like a special thing I'm going to be doing for this.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: Because I realize that not everyone is as good as you know, moving through and dissolving emotions.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: This has taken practice and this is my job.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm aware that I'm better at it, but that's why I want to help you as much as I can.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: So check those out down below if that feels kind of good to you.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: But let's move on to some of the lighter kind of talk about this.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: So, because I was one of the things that people don't talk about postpartum.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: So, and I feel like with loss, yes, people, you know, obviously they talk about how hard that is, but I don't see people talking about the things you actually have to deal with postpartum when you especially were maybe it's like a skillbirth or being induced.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, again, not saying miscarriage isn't as hard, but there's just you're far, you're not as far along normally in miscarriage as you I am in like the situation by the skillbirth.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: So not as many things are at play.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, this can still happen depending on like, because obviously you can still have a miscarriage um later on in the pregnancy, but especially when you have more of like an actual birth, people don't talk about this stuff.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: And so I really want to normalize and talk about these things because it's it's a lot, right?
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: So, like for example, I remember what like three, I want to say it was like two, one, two, three days later after I gave birth, all of a sudden, like your breast milk comes in and you're just like, okay, so like this is the thing, but it's so funny because people talk about, you know, normally have an increased breast milk and this and that, but you're like, well, you kind of want to stop it because it's very uncomfortable, obviously.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I know for some people it's probably emotionally uncomfortable.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: For me, I was just physically uncomfortable because I had already dissolved the emotions and it was more just annoying and like my boobs were just so sensitive and hurt so much, I couldn't even hug my hands.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like, no, like don't touch me.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but it's so funny because I went to the store to get like herbs and stuff like that to stop milk production.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: And it was just like luckily, I was okay.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because she's like, Oh, like normally have people who want to like increase their milk supply.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Yeah, no, that's not us.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: Anyways, so like having that come in, but like realizing, well, you can't expel your milk because if you kind of stimulate it in any way, it stimulates it to make more.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_00: So you can't release the pressure, but then like obviously it's uncomfortable.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: And so there's like wearing these sports brush 24-7.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then I went out and got some herbs and everything like that.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I did get asked for my protocol, which actually I will be sharing in those kind of mini packages that I do.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: But the also the protocol I use is obviously very different postpartum than what I would give to my clients who are actually postpartum and more like breastfeeding with the baby, because everything I did was to kind of stop that.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: And what I would like take to stop that, obviously it's not safe for you necessarily, like obviously, if you're breastfeeding.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm not gonna be sharing my full protocol, but I did use kind of like herbs and tea between the tea that I used, um, which is all to decrease prolactin and the supplements that I use within like two days, my my boobs were fine and if we weren't producing milk anymore, I think, thank goodness.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: So the next thing I want to talk about when it comes to postpartum, people don't really, I find it talk about as much, is the fact that like when you've actually like given you know birth and everything like that, you have the normal like hormonal fluctuations that someone would have as if they gave, you know, had a full-term birth, minus the fact that you probably don't have like the oxytocin that people normally have, which means it's a lot more of a struggle and it can actually be more painful than a physical birth.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: I think I said earlier in the episode, the nurse told it, like, oh, just because it's like a smaller baby, don't expect it to be less painful.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought she was kidding, partly because the um the counselor that set this up, because you get you get mass with the counselor before you kind of go through this whole process when you're kind of aware of what needs to happen.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: And they said, Oh yeah, it would be like mild cramps.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: Mild cramps, my ass.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like if anyone has cramps like what I have, like I was screaming in full birth, um, definitely see me.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_00: We need to fix your hormones, but it was definitely not mild cramping.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that's something people don't really recognize or honor is the fact that even if you didn't go full term, it can still you your body still went through like a birth and it can still feel just as painful during it, but also your hormones are fluctuating after it.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: Not to mention the fact that, and I was warned about this, you're also holding maybe grief with also the possibility of like postpartum anxiety, post-partum depression.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I didn't get either of those, but just as like a warning, it can be very difficult, which is why it's very important to kind of step back and take that macro lens because you want to make sure you can distinguish between between the two, right?
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: But like you're going through the kind of like full, like you would be after giving birth.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: And that's like, what people don't like talk about this.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like even like my mom friends don't talk about the fact that it really sucks that you have to basically wear what I think is equivalent to a diaper afterwards because you're wearing pads and like you know these things, and like I know them as a natural, but like when you're actually going through it, you're like, oh, oh my god, like this actually sucks.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: But I've never heard anyone talk about how much it sucks to have to wear a pad because you're bleeding for a while, right?
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: And then, like, obviously, you're bleeding shorter than you know you would be if you were full term, but Okay, I have heard your wishes and I am so excited to open Early Bird Extended Payment Plan for Glow Level One.
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• 22:22
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• 22:31
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• 22:34
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• 22:41
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• 23:23
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• 23:25
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• 23:28
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• 23:35
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• 23:38
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• 23:39
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• 23:45
  SPEAKER_00: At least for me, because I'm like kind of like the middle of the road.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like the bleeding you'd have from a miscarriage, which is like a couple weeks, but it's not a full six weeks, but it's still kind of there.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_00: And the fact that, like, your you know, breast milk is coming in and you're dealing with all of these physical things on top of the emotional, that's why I think it's so important that I want to offer these mini packages for you guys so that I can help you with the physical hormone support with the protocol and also the emotional support.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_00: But one of the things that like really honestly bugged me that I struggled the most with was having to wear like these full underwear pads, and it's like the most annoying thing, and it feels like you're wearing a diaper.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm sorry if people think this is like not a big deal.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, until you've been through it, I wouldn't think it was a big deal until I kind of like been through it.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_00: And then I'm like, wow, like this is a struggle.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I think so many times people talk about the struggle of like everything else, but they don't talk it necessarily about the physical struggle.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yes, about sucking your body, and at no point did I feel like any body shame or anything, but like there was still like you don't want to deny the fact that like postpartum is kind of like an annoying situation to be in, right?
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like your boobs hurt, you're basically wearing a diaper.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_00: And like for me, I don't normally use pads.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't worn pads since I was like 17 years old.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_00: Probably even earlier.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_00: And it basically felt like I was a hormonal teenager again, right?
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: Because after you give birth, your hormones are all over the place.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_00: And so like my boobs are sensitive and sore, and milk was coming in, and I'm wearing this like diaper like thing.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_00: Plus, hormones are you know rebalancing as much as my hormones would balance before.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_00: After you give birth, they're still there's still a shit show.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_00: So they're going up and down, and it's so funny because I could feel what was hormonal and I could feel when it's not.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: And so I would go to my fiance and it's like, oh my god, like the hormones are coming and I just want to cry.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'd be crying, I'm out of hormones, not out of actually grief and loss.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, I'm aware that this is the hormones, this makes any sense, but like you're trying to balance them, and that's why like me finding this protocol, I think it's so good.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_00: I have a separate one if you're postpartum and actually breastfeeding, that is it's it's major to really help balance those hormones.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think not acknowledging that the hormones are also running the show all the time can make you feel a bit crazy because those postpartum hormones are are crazy.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like, let's not deny that.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_00: But it's also made worse for the fact sometimes that if you've been induced, and this also goes for the fact if you've been induced at full term, you don't necessarily have the same levels of hormones or you didn't have the same birthing experience with the oxytocin that you would have had without being induced.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_00: So that has like a major effect also on your hormones, which is why it's super important to support them.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_00: But people don't talk about this, and so I feel like let's also bring to light the physical struggle when it comes to loss and not only the emotional, because I feel like people try to recognize the emotional and the grief, and there is that, but there's holding the grief and then also wearing the diaper, having hormones raising you like crazy and trying to stop your breast milk, right?
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_00: So there's there's so much going on, and I feel like I handled it like quite well, which is why I want to kind of share it with you guys.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: And the last thing I kind of want to talk about post-partum before we talk about spirit babies.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_00: Why does nobody like I feel I've been saying this to all kind of honestly, all my friends, let alone all my mom friends.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: And like, of course, I knew this, that you're not allowed to like, you know, have sex for like four to six weeks afterwards, definitely those are like six weeks if you're full-term, um, four weeks for me because I'm kind of middle of the way and like miscarriage is about two.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_00: But how hard it is to not have sex for like four to six weeks.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like it actually blows my mind how people have people do this.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, this is like a serious thing, right?
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_00: Because you're not you're not allowed to put anything there, you're not allowed any, you know, tampons, you're not allowed to have sex, you're not allowed toys, you're not allowed to have anything right there because it's healing, right?
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: You just give birth.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_00: So 100% I get the logic and obviously it makes sense and like I agree.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_00: But I feel like no one talks about like how difficult that is.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_00: And like, I don't know.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: When people ask me, like, how are you doing?
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, honestly, the biggest struggle right now is is that.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_00: And even when I was like, you know, a couple days after also there's hormones at play, right?
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_00: So the hormones probably partly to do with it, make you want to like, I would say for me, raise the libido even even more so.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, you can't do that.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, how, how do people do this?
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: Because I feel like that's also one of the major things that I had to deal with, or one of the biggest struggles I would say is like once we cleared the breast milk coming in, and it still is because I'm still not cleared until next week.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, fingers crossed, we're going to midwife.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, is a big struggle, which I think also then is like you want intimacy, right?
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_00: You want all that, but like how can you foster that when you physically can't do that?
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying you need to always necessarily have like penetrative intercourse to have like intimacy, but I'm just saying it is definitely a struggle because if you're that's not what you're used to and that's not your normal, and suddenly it's like trying to go four to six weeks, you're like, what?
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't know.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_00: Let me know.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_00: This is also you when I share this on my Instagram stories.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_00: I had like only a couple people say they went through the same thing.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm not sure it was just me, whether my hormones are just different than some people's postpartum.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_00: But uh yeah, that's definitely a big story that I feel like people don't talk about like not having sex.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_00: That's just me.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to be honest because I feel like there's so much other stuff talked about that people don't talk about the other stuff.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: So the next thing we're gonna kind of dive into is spirit babies.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_00: Now I've been working with spirit babies for years now.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_00: I work with them on my clients, I channel them a lot in Akashic Readings, um, which I will link down below if you kind of just want an Akashic reading, or you can get it as part of like those mini packages.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_00: The spirit babies to me are beautiful.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_00: They are essentially the energy, the spirit of your baby that lives in your field.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_00: And you're able to connect with them, girl or boy.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_00: You're able to connect with how many there are, and you're really able to not only build a relationship, but actually have them as one of your guides.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_00: You know, how can, or what, for example, questions you can ask is what can you do to help bring them earth-side?
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_00: Or if you're grieving, you can help connect with them if you feel like there's a loss.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_00: And so it kind of feels like there isn't a loss because you're able to connect with them, right?
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_00: So just think of your spirit babies as a spirit version of your baby that's in your energetic field that I can feel, I can help you feel.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_00: And you haven't read the book, Spirit Babies, highly recommend.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but also getting a reading from me might be helpful as well.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_00: Kind of ask any questions you feel like you have if you've read that book and you feel like you still have trouble connecting.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_00: But I think spirit babies are beautiful.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_00: I think everyone should connect to their spirit babies.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_00: But I remember, and I think I said this in my Q ⁇ A about the pregnancies, like I felt her kind of drop in in February before I got pregnant.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_00: What was it a few months later?
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like three, three, four months later.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_00: I can't do nothing.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_00: Three months later-ish, vaguely.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so you're really able to connect with them even before you conceive, let alone while you're pregnant, and then after if there's loss, etc.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_00: So highly recommend connecting to your spirit baby because that offers really a lot of peace, but it can also offer a lot of clarification if you feel like you're blocked, if you feel like, why am I not getting pregnant?
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_00: If you feel like, you know, if you've had maybe multiple losses or like miscarriages, you can really kind of see, all right, what is it that needs to change and shift for them to come through in this world?
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_00: And it's actually so beautiful because I've had, I've had so many instances and I've also heard of other instances of people connecting with their spirit babies, you know, hearing what they need to hear, whether it's, you know, through me or through the book, and they're able to identify what it is they need to do, learn, or embody in order to bring them earthside.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_00: And then they actually come earthside.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_00: And it's so beautiful.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_00: And there's been so many cases where babies who've been like lost, quote unquote, or like miscarried have actually come later on and have spoken to their mom about things like they would have no other way of knowing, other than the fact that you know they were, you know, that that miscarried baby or that that wasp.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_00: So highly recommend connecting to your spirit baby where we're all psychic.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_00: We all have the ability, but like I said, if you need more support, definitely book an acauship reading so I can help you kind of connect with the energy of your spirit baby, and then you can always like connect going further.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I think spirit babies are highly, like I said, highly healing.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_00: I recommend this to countless clients who've had miscarriages, both the book and connecting, and it's given them a lot of peace.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_00: I actually had someone, and this has happened before, but someone reached out to me when I shared about the loss, about when I connected with her spirit baby, and you know, now that she's gotten pregnant and had a kid, like all the crazy things that have happened that I said in my reading.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_00: And she's like, it's crazy, everything you said came true, down to like, you know, little traits about him, mannerisms, um, notes about his name without even uh directly saying his name.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, just to keep it confidential.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_00: I won't like share the details, but it's it's actually crazy what can come true.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_00: So I really encourage you to connect with Spirit Babies.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, we're gonna move on to the questions from Instagram because I feel like it would bring this really full circle for you guys.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so the first question was could you see this happen because you're psychic?
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, but also I'm gonna acknowledge the human part.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_00: So, like I want to say yes, 100%, but there's also like a human part that's obviously still human because I am still human.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_00: So there were many signs that there were signs I realized looking back, and I was like, oh, that was a sign, but there was also intuitive things that happened along the way during my pregnancy.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_00: Well, a that told me that something wasn't right that you know prompted initial testing and something like stuff like that.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_00: But also, you know, for example, I pull cards and like kind of around the pregnancy, around the journey, and I would get cards if I had to use like the angel of death, which I was like, okay, like death of one cycle, like a new chapter, because I'm gonna be pregnant, because I'm gonna be a mom, things are gonna change.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_00: And like I would say that, but then like something in my head would be like, no, there's more, there's something like you know, deeper into it.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_00: And so there'd be signs like that.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_00: I would also say, like, the moment I kind of found out that, you know, I found I don't know if I told this in the pregnancy announcement kind of podcast, but the moment I found out I was actually in the bathroom about to shower, and I had Spotify on shuffle of like this playlist.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_00: And the song that came on kind of like right when I found out was the song Hold You Tight by, I don't know how to say his name, Allo, Allo Blanc, Allo, whatever.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_00: Uh it's a fairly popular song, so you probably just type in Hold You Tight, Allo, and then you'll you'll find it.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_00: And that song is not necessarily like a positive song, it's very much a song about you know getting through hardship, getting through loss, getting through a big thing.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_00: That was a sign for me, but it was a balance between intuitively knowing that something was off, but also my ego being like, oh no, like you're probably just making it up.
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like, but it's interesting because every sign I got, or every time I felt like I saw this happen, it wasn't emotionally charged.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't from fear.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_00: It was very, and that's how you can normally distinguish ego versus like soul or intuition, is that there's no emotional charge.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of just like, oh, this.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of like a statement, and I didn't feel anything.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, huh, that's weird.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's normally like an intuitive thing, or how I receive intuitive information.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, hmm.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_00: But I kind of like didn't attach to it, kind of let it go.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_00: And so there are little signs like this.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_00: I would say like other little signs is that I do obviously a lot of manifestation, a lot of visualization, and I could see the rest of the year happening.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_00: I could see, you know, October, I could see December, I could see milestones in my business, you know, things that were gonna happen fairly recently.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_00: And in none of them was I pregnant, and it was weird because I was deep in meditation and I'd see flashes of things, you know, and my flashes are normally like pretty accurate.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like I've something I've been doing for years, they normally happen.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_00: And in either none of them, I was like pregnant.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, that's interesting.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like, hmm.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_00: And then we're getting very strong feelings of like seeing the things that they were gonna happen, but I wasn't pregnant.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, am I wrong?
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_00: Am I visualizing that wrong?
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, no, you're not gonna be pregnant at the time.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, well, that doesn't make sense because I'd have to be pregnant logically based on the timeline.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_00: So like there's little things like this that I feel like I knew, quote unquote.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_00: So like, yes, but also there's a human part of you that like obviously can still be in somewhat of a shock, somewhat upset.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um another like last thing I'll say in terms of like, can I did I see this happening because I'm psychic?
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_00: When I was younger, and I mean like like little, I want to say like 11 years and younger, I saw this happening.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_00: And it's really interesting because I didn't remember this until like during slash after.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, wow, I remember this.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_00: I remember being like a little girl and hearing, like intuitively getting downloads about how this is gonna happen to me.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_00: And it's very interesting.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_00: So I feel like yes, but also let's not deny my human of like I'm not perfectly psychic, and there's a part of me that like didn't even necessarily believe the downloads or intuitive nudges completely.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_00: So I was like, huh, is that gonna happen without kind of like detaching it?
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_00: So the answer is is yes, but also just because I saw it doesn't mean or like that it was any easier necessarily, right?
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_00: And what I also want to say on this note before I jump onto the next question is that if please do not book an Akashic reading and then ask me a question if you are going to have loss or miscarriage or experience, because even if I say yes, or even if I not even if I say yes, even if I see it, I will not tell you.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_00: So please do not book a reading for that case because that's also a not necessarily for me to tell you because I'd be depriving you of a journey that you're meant to go on.
• 37:31
  SPEAKER_00: But B, I won't necessarily, I mean, I might like give guidance for like what you know, what can you embody, what can you learn, what work maybe do you have to do in order to become more aligned to receiving a child or getting pregnant, but I won't necessarily tell you all the hardships because that's not necessarily always of benefit to you.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_00: So please don't book a reading expecting me to tell you this.
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_00: And the reason I also say this is that I've seen things potentially happen, you know, for other people.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_00: I've seen things for friends, I've seen like losses for friends, I've seen, you know, people getting pregnant and knowing that they're gonna have a miscarriage, and like it's just not necessarily ethical for me to say it, A, because I may not be wrong right 100% of the time.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, in every time I've seen it, I have been right.
• 38:18
  SPEAKER_00: But like I could also not be right.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_00: There's multiple timelines, I could not be right.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_00: So I would never want to put that idea in your head, and then you think that it absolutely has to happen to you because you know, Live said so.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_00: But I mean, I have been right, but also I would deprive you of that experience, right?
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_00: So please do not book a reading and try to ask me that question because I won't answer it.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_00: And they probably will tell me the answer, but tell me not to tell you anyways, because that's also happened before.
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_00: So just know that, like, yes, while I can see things, I'm not necessarily going to tell you because that's not not necessarily for your highest good, right?
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like I firmly believe there are some of my more spiritual friends or like um spiritual mentors who kind of like saw this for me and kind of like know things.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because when I talk, I'm just like, mm, you knew something.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_00: But there's always a due diligence of like you it's not necessarily for someone's highest good to know all the information, right?
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because you are still human going through a journey.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so that's that note.
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_00: So next question is how do you make sense of why this happened to you?
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_00: I had a miscarriage.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_00: First of all, I'm so sorry.
• 39:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's probably one of like the hardest things, you know, to go through is in terms of like loss.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, and I've lost, you know, a parent, I've lost, you know, other things, and it is the hardest thing.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_00: In order to make sense of it, you need to zoom out.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_00: But you can't zoom out if you're still contracted.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_00: But in order to zoom out, you need to be able to dissolve and process the emotions.
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_00: So in order to do that, if you can't zoom out yourself, definitely sign up for one of the mini packages.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_00: But what I would say is that if you were to step back and let it expand you and actually go through the action of what I said of like making your body bigger, making your energy bigger, welcoming it in, think about what did this teach me?
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_00: How did this serve me?
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_00: And where did other areas of my life expand as a result?
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_00: And like the whole question of like why this happened to you, there's a flaw in the question because things don't happen to you.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_00: Everything happens for you.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_00: Every single thing that happens happens for you, not to you.
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't matter if you know a traffic jam, you know, that prevents you from making a meeting, that is for you.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_00: The loss, it is for you.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like everything is for you.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like this was for me in order, well, yes, to expand me, to be held to hold more, but also like I've healed past lives and ancestral trauma.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_00: I've healed so many things because of this, because and I think I mentioned this in the previous episode, I did die one time in a past life giving birth.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so this is very healing because obviously this time I didn't die, although it's not exactly ideal that like my baby didn't survive, but no matter what, it still happened for me, right?
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_00: There was a lot of healing in that.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_00: So in order to make sense of it, you have to stop labeling things as bad, wrong, or not as it should be.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_00: So that's step one.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_00: Step two is allowing the expansion, and then step three is feeling into what did this actually give me?
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_00: There's no loss, and you need to keep going and what it gives in you need to keep staying in in the what did this give me until the loss is neutral.
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_00: And that's how all right.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_00: How did you get over the what ifs scenario?
• 41:31
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know exactly what what ifs mean.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_00: Is it like what if, what if they would have like been okay?
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_00: What if I would have like made full term, what if, what if, if that's the case, that reality is never taken away from me.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I think people get trapped in the like getting over something of like, oh, you know, I'll never have this, I'll never, you know, be able to, I don't know, hold them or see them walk or see them, whatever, all those things.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_00: But I that's not true.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_00: She's she's gonna come again.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_00: Uh intuitively.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, I'll say this in the podcast and we'll we'll see if this is right.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_00: Intuitively, I feel like two, two to three years, and I feel like it's gonna be a boy before it's a girl again.
• 42:10
  SPEAKER_00: Just saying, we'll drop this in here, we'll come back in two years and see.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_00: But they're not lost, right?
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_00: They're gonna come again, like they can always come again if you have the free will.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, you need to do the free will things to make a baby.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_00: So, and it's up to you if you decide that, but there is no loss, right?
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_00: So the what ifs are happening from a sense of perceived loss, right?
• 42:29
  SPEAKER_00: Because those things you think are never gonna happen again, but they will, right?
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's about like the zooming out and connecting with the spirit baby to allow them what do they need to come, you know, through or aside.
• 42:41
  SPEAKER_00: And so for me, it's not about getting over them because I don't think I'm deprived that they're not gonna happen.
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I still know that they're gonna happen, I still feel that they're gonna happen.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's just a not right now.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_00: But I think people grieve the not right now versus I'm gonna quote from a course in miracles because this is one of my favorite quotes I use with people.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_00: Those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait and wait without anxiety, which means you are certain that you are going to, you know, have a baby and watch them be able to walk and grow up and I don't know, dress them up or do their hair, I don't know, whatever what is running through your head.
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_00: If you were certain that's gonna happen, then you're not attached to time.
• 43:25
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 43:25
  SPEAKER_00: You're you can be certain of the outcome and wait and wait without anxiety.
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_00: So that's like a key.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 43:33
  SPEAKER_00: The next one is how to connect with your spirit baby slash grandbaby.
• 43:37
  SPEAKER_00: So we're gonna run through a little cold notes of how to do so.
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, like I said, we can definitely do this deeper in some of my containers.
• 43:45
  SPEAKER_00: But number one is actually believing that you can.
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_00: So if you believe that they can't, chances are your spirit baby or even like a grandbaby can is probably already trying to connect with you.
• 43:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like for me, I felt her dropping to my energy in February and it was so strong, and I was like, uh Probably gonna get pregnant soon, but I don't like I'm not trying, and like I wasn't actually trying even in February, still monitoring the ovulation, but I was like, I just have a gut feeling when you're pregnant this year.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_00: You've probably already seen inklings of your spirit baby in your life, etc.
• 44:15
  SPEAKER_00: You just haven't acknowledged it yet.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_00: So the first step is kind of acknowledging that A, that they're there and B, believing that they're there.
• 44:23
  SPEAKER_00: So you're gonna sit down and you're gonna close your eyes.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I want you just to sense and get a number for how many you have.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be one, two, three, and what trust whatever comes to mind.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like this is all about trust and building a muscle.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_00: And set the intention, maybe to connect.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_00: If you feel one, to connect with that one.
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_00: If you feel a couple, choose one, or if you're going through a loss, choose the one that you you've lost.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I just want you to start opening up and just like imagine yourself opening and declaring that you're open and ready and willing to communicate with them, that you're open, ready, and willing to connect with them, to hear from them, and then ask for a sign.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_00: Ask for a specific sign, ask for a sign with a timeline so that you can start to flex that muscle and build that neural network between the two.
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, whatever that is.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_00: Ask for your specific sign and a specific time frame.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_00: Then I would suggest stream of consciousness writing, which is just like literally asking them questions and then writing down your response.
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_00: What do they say?
• 45:25
  SPEAKER_00: You have to trust the muscle.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_00: You might feel silly, you might feel like you're making it up.
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_00: That's okay.
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_00: You keep going because I promise you you're not.
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_00: So those are the things I would say to start connecting with that one.
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_00: And then if you need further help, definitely reach out.
• 45:39
  SPEAKER_00: All right, the last question is did you ever feel like you did something wrong?
• 45:44
  SPEAKER_00: No, never for a second.
• 45:47
  SPEAKER_00: And it's interesting because I think other people, and I'll tell you this little Instagram story in a second.
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_00: I think other people have tried to make me think that I did something wrong, but I didn't, um, especially in my case.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I know maybe this isn't the case for everyone, but mine was not based on any kind of like nutrient deficiency, wasn't based on any kind of like condition, it wasn't based on, you know, um any pre-existing medical conditions.
• 46:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's literally what they said, like something super rare that happens, you know, as a fluke.
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_00: It happens the moment of conception.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing you can do to stop it, you know, unfortunately.
• 46:21
  SPEAKER_00: So that's definitely the case for me.
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_00: So that's why maybe perhaps it's easier for me not to feel like I did something wrong because it's not something that happened afterwards or down the road, or because I did something or maybe didn't do something that I could have done.
• 46:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and I don't honestly think there's I wouldn't blame anyone, no matter like the background history or whatever, in terms of like did something wrong, quote unquote.
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_00: Because wrong implies something is bad, wrong, or not as it should be, which is not true.
• 46:49
  SPEAKER_00: So I actually never felt like I did anything wrong.
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_00: He's like, I know I didn't do anything wrong, and I don't think any woman does anything wrong, quote unquote.
• 46:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I can see how like sometimes people blame themselves thinking, well, what did I do wrong?
• 47:03
  SPEAKER_00: What could I have done to prevent this?
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's my fault, et cetera.
• 47:07
  SPEAKER_00: But it's not your fault.
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I wouldn't want to say that like anyone manifests anything, but like I definitely know that like I chose this for my life, I chose this in my sole contract, I signed up for this when I came here, that this is gonna happen to me, and like I'm okay with that, but it's because not that I did something wrong, but because I know it's a learning experience for my growth and expansion, if that makes sense.
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_00: So, not from like a blame game, not from like I brought this on myself, but from a this is happening for me, right?
• 47:36
  SPEAKER_00: And so just rephrasing that question is so powerful.
• 47:39
  SPEAKER_00: I always say the quality of your life is based on the quality of the questions you ask.
• 47:43
  SPEAKER_00: And so at no point did I ever feel like I did anything wrong because nothing is wrong, right?
• 47:47
  SPEAKER_00: Wrong implies is die, wrong and nothing should be.
• 47:49
  SPEAKER_00: So I never felt like I did anything wrong because I didn't, and because no other woman does anything else wrong, it's more about okay, what do I need to know, learn in order to expand, in order to maybe change the outcome in the future, etc.
• 48:03
  SPEAKER_00: And there's definitely things that like this taught me, it brought me expansion, it's gotten me deeper into my thumb and it's helped me my clients more.
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_00: So it all happened for me, right?
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_00: But again, if you can't recognize that it happened for you, not to you, that's where you get stuck.
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_00: And the little story I was gonna give you, it's so funny.
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_00: And luckily, like I'm very strong in this.
• 48:23
  SPEAKER_00: I was actually sharing this with a friend when it happened.
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and luckily, I was very strong after the whole loss happened.
• 48:29
  SPEAKER_00: And this was a message I felt the day after, or I think I actually probably thought the day I mentioned the loss, but I wasn't on Instagram, so I read the DM the next day.
• 48:36
  SPEAKER_00: And there's this person that came into my DMs and sent me this novel message about like how it was my fault that it happened because I ate cooked tuna, and I only cooked tuna like one, maybe not even twice a week.
• 48:49
  SPEAKER_00: I would really say it's probably one time a week, maybe once it happened twice a week, but like once a week, wild like tuna, and that that was the reason.
• 48:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I was just like, can you imagine this person going around telling people?
• 49:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like, let's say they weren't as like well, you know, emotionally as me going and telling people that the reason they lost their child is because they ate came tuna one time a week.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_00: So please don't do that with people, guys.
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's just it's not it's not cool.
• 49:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and that's not okay.
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like, even if that's your thought process and you believe that's why it happened, please don't go around blaming like no mothers for that.
• 49:25
  SPEAKER_00: That's that's not cool.
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_00: But like I said, luckily I just laughed.
• 49:27
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, are you serious?
• 49:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like deleted um, but that could have been really damaging to me if I was in a place where I was blaming myself or feeling really poorly.
• 49:36
  SPEAKER_00: So um, no, I did not feel like I did anything wrong, but clearly uh this person did.
• 49:40
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just so interesting because it's not like they know me or my medical history personally or anything like that.
• 49:45
  SPEAKER_00: But it's it's easy to pass like judgment that someone did something wrong or to blame other people, right?
• 49:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, versus seeing why you have an forty.
• 49:53
  SPEAKER_00: So that is my little share kind of on my perspective on loss, how I got through birth, which was, I feel like so interesting.
• 50:03
  SPEAKER_00: Definitely has prepared me for the next birth, right?
• 50:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, kind of postpartum.
• 50:07
  SPEAKER_00: Now I know all the things about the no sex, the basic dagger wearing, and like, well, the boobs will be different next time.
• 50:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and my spirit babies and tips for you and how to connect.
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_00: If you're feeling called to one of the mini packages, check those out down below.
• 50:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, this is like a one-on-one experience with me, kind of like at a fraction of what the normal investment is.
• 50:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so definitely hop into that because I know part of the reason I went through all this is to help women really who've other been through this, dissolve this and heal from this in a way that's going to serve them and not necessarily keep them stuck or blocked or in emotional turmoil, right?
• 50:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because I've I've seen people and who are maybe still triggered by this days, weeks, or years later.
• 50:48
  SPEAKER_00: And not saying that that's not okay, but what triggers you controls you, right?
• 50:53
  SPEAKER_00: And the trigger just points you someplace you need healing.
• 50:55
  SPEAKER_00: And if I can help you heal from this experience and help it expand you and help, you know, you have more bliss, love, and expansion into your life, then that's what I want, right?
• 51:04
  SPEAKER_00: So with that being said, I hope this was kind of informative, a little bit lighter.
• 51:09
  SPEAKER_00: Try to also bring the lightness into it because honestly, I feel pretty light about this situation.
• 51:13
  SPEAKER_00: So now that I've been able to dissolve those emotions, right?
• 51:16
  SPEAKER_00: So with that being said, check out the links below if you feel called to kind of like a mini package with me.
• 51:21
  SPEAKER_00: If you have any more questions about this, I'm happy to do more episodes on this because like I said, I know my experience is not necessarily what everyone experiences, you know, with still burst and loss or and or miscarriage in this part of.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_00: I know it can be hard.
• 51:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not dismissing that.
• 51:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but there are tools and things that I can help you with to make it smoother and make you actually go through the grieving process and not necessarily get stuff in it.
• 51:44
  SPEAKER_00: So that being said, I hope you enjoyed the episode and I will talk to you guys the next time.