Latest / Reformed Thinking / Providence over Broken Families: Divine Sovereignty, Sin, and Hope
Transcript
- 0:00Usually when we look at a collapsed building, we expect a
- 0:04pretty clean structural explanation.
- 0:06You know, you bring in an engineering inspector and they
- 0:08walk through the rubble with their little clipboard and they
- 0:10find like a rusted support beam or maybe a stress fracture in
- 0:15the concrete foundation or even a miscalculation in the original
- 0:19blueprints. Yeah, they just point a
- 0:20flashlight at. It yeah, they point the
- 0:22flashlight and say there it is. That is why the building fell.
- 0:25Right, because it is binary. Cause and effect in the physical
- 0:29world are highly visible. Broken beam, fallen building.
- 0:33It is clean. We can categorize it, you know,
- 0:36we can write a report on it. We crave that kind of visible,
- 0:40categorized causality in, well, pretty much every area of our
- 0:44life. It gives us a sense of control.
- 0:46If we can identify the specific broken beam, we believe we can
- 0:50just go in and fix it. But then you step into the
- 0:53reality of a fractured family and suddenly that structural
- 0:56inspector with the clipboard is completely useless.
- 0:58Completely useless. You cannot point a flashlight at
- 1:01a rebellious teenager's heart. You cannot, you know, pull up a
- 1:04blueprint to explain why a spouse of 20 years just walked
- 1:08out the front door. We are looking at a landscape of
- 1:11human heartbreak that is honestly incredibly murky.
- 1:15It is the absolute definition of diagnostic Muddy Waters.
- 1:19The variables are infinite. The pain is blinding, and the
- 1:23neat little categories we use for everything else in life just
- 1:26completely disintegrate. Welcome to Reformed Thinking,
- 1:29you are listening to our latest deep dive.
- 1:31Today we are putting away the clipboard.
- 1:33Yes, we are. We are pulling apart a stack of
- 1:36really dense theological essays that focus on the darkest
- 1:38moments of family collapse in history, and we are doing this
- 1:41to find out why God's absolute control over that chaos is
- 1:45actually the only reason you can have hope.
- 1:47Our mission today is to look intently at the agonizing
- 1:50reality of broken families, but we are skipping the usual
- 1:53routes. We are not looking at this
- 1:54through the lens of modern psychology.
- 1:56We're not looking at it through sociology.
- 1:58We are examining this through the theological doctrine of
- 2:00divine Providence. The source material we have
- 2:02gathered for this deep dive consists of really thorough
- 2:06theological essays. They analyze historical Old
- 2:08Testament narratives. Specifically, we're going to
- 2:11look closely at the families of Eli the priest and King David,
- 2:15right? The goal is to uncover what
- 2:18these agonizing historical accounts reveal about God's
- 2:22sovereign governance over human sin and family fracture.
- 2:27The sheer gravity of this topic, I mean, it just cannot be
- 2:30overstated. We are stepping into the most
- 2:32painful areas of human existence.
- 2:34If you are listening to this right now, there's a very high
- 2:37probability that you either have an eye fractured family or
- 2:40you're watching someone you love walk through the wreckage of 1.
- 2:43It is everywhere, and our core objective today is to show you
- 2:46how the terrifying and comforting doctrine of God's
- 2:49absolute sovereignty offers the only real hope when a home is
- 2:52shattered. We want to strip away the false
- 2:55modern comforts that our culture offers.
- 2:57We want to anchor your hope in the meticulous Providence of God
- 3:00over every single detail of your life.
- 3:02Right. So let's unpack this from the
- 3:04ground up. We have to start by
- 3:06acknowledging the current crisis.
- 3:08We are not talking about a niche issue here.
- 3:10Not at all. The sociological data from our
- 3:12sources presents a staggering reality in the United States
- 3:17today. One in four children currently
- 3:19resides in a fatherless home. Wow.
- 3:22Think about the math on that. That is approximately 19,000,000
- 3:26individual souls. 19,000,000 If you put all those children in
- 3:31one place, they would outnumber the entire population of New
- 3:33York State. We are looking at a catastrophic
- 3:37destabilization of society. And the sheer scale of the
- 3:39devastation that cuts across all demographics, all income
- 3:42brackets, in all regions. We are witnessing massive rates
- 3:45of single parent households, estrangement and just general
- 3:48domestic collapse. What is fascinating here, when
- 3:50our sources point out, is how the secular world attempts to
- 3:53explain this away. Yeah, they definitely try.
- 3:55They do. They lean heavily on godless
- 3:56ideologies. They point to systemic
- 3:59oppression, economic disparities, or, you know,
- 4:02racial constructs as the sole culprits for this familial
- 4:06collapse. They are essentially looking for
- 4:08that rusted support beam in the societal structure.
- 4:11They want a physical, measurable thing they can point to.
- 4:14Precisely because if the problem is strictly economic, well, you
- 4:18can pass a law to fix it. The problem is systemic.
- 4:21You can create a government program to address it.
- 4:23But what secular psychology and sociology absolutely refused to
- 4:28touch is the innate corruption of the human heart.
- 4:31Yeah, they want a solution that leaves human autonomy intact.
- 4:34And it is not just the secular world doing this.
- 4:36The sources point out how liberal theology and progressive
- 4:39Christianity adopt these empty sociological talking points
- 4:44wholesale. They really do.
- 4:45They trade the sufficiency of Scripture for what we call
- 4:48therapeutic deism. It's a therapeutic deism that is
- 4:50essentially the belief that God exists, but he acts like a
- 4:54cosmic Butler. Right, that is a great way to
- 4:56put it. His only job is to make sure you
- 4:58are happy, be fulfilled and, you know, emotionally stable.
- 5:02He does not demand holiness, and he certainly does not judge sin.
- 5:06So when progressive circles encounter a broken family, they
- 5:10just abandoned the biblical diagnosis of the human heart and
- 5:14settle for secular therapy disguised with religious
- 5:17vocabulary. That is exactly what happens.
- 5:19But wait, it is not just the secular world or progressive
- 5:22circles making massive errors here.
- 5:24I think this is where the sources get really piercing.
- 5:28We the false comforts creeping into conservative evangelical
- 5:32circles as well. I am thinking specifically of
- 5:35two massive frameworks, the prosperity gospel and
- 5:39Armenianism. Yes, those two are huge.
- 5:41Let's start with the prosperity gospel.
- 5:43This is the idea that if you simply have enough faith, or,
- 5:47you know, if you sow enough financial seed into a ministry,
- 5:50God owes you a perfect life. It treats domestic peace as a
- 5:53temporal right. And it creates an incredibly
- 5:55cruel environment for a grieving parent.
- 5:58If your child rebels or your marriage fails, the prosperity
- 6:01gospel essentially looked at you and says, well, you must not
- 6:03have had enough faith. You must have unconfessed sin.
- 6:07Right, you didn't claim the promises hard enough.
- 6:09It has immense guilt to an already crushing burden.
- 6:12And then there's the other framework, which is far more
- 6:15common and I think subtle Arminianism.
- 6:19This framework suggests that a family's spiritual harmony is
- 6:22entirely dependent on the libertarian free will of the
- 6:25individuals involved. Right, It implies God is just a
- 6:28polite bystander. He has done all he can do, and
- 6:31now he is anxiously looking down the corridors of time, hoping
- 6:36that autonomous humans will utilize their free will to make
- 6:39the right choices. Like he is wringing his hands
- 6:42hoping a rebellious teenager decides to come home.
- 6:46If you are listening to this right now and you have a kid who
- 6:49has completely walked away from everything you taught them, this
- 6:52concept of free will actually leaves you with 0 hope.
- 6:56It really does. I mean, if a wayward child's
- 6:59salvation is entirely dependent on their own autonomous free
- 7:01will, isn't that like asking a person at the bottom of the
- 7:04ocean to simply decide to breathe water?
- 7:06That is a harsh reality. The sources make it clear that
- 7:08the natural man is dead in Trespasses and sins.
- 7:12Dead men cannot choose to resuscitate themselves.
- 7:15So how does realizing we have 0 control over our family's
- 7:19choices actually lead to hope rather than absolute despair?
- 7:22That is the pivotal question right there.
- 7:25If we connect this to the bigger picture, true comfort is found
- 7:28in the Reformed doctrine outlined in documents like the
- 7:31Westminster Confession of Faith. The Confession rightly declares
- 7:34that God from all eternity freely and unchangeably ordains
- 7:39whatsoever comes to pass. He is not a bystander.
- 7:42Wait, ordains whatsoever comes to pass, like everything.
- 7:45Everything. He is the act of sovereign over
- 7:48every single molecule and every single choice in the universe.
- 7:51If blind fate or Satan or the unregenerate human will had the
- 7:55upper hand, the grieving parent would have absolutely no one to
- 7:58cry out to. Because if your child's
- 8:00rebellion is outside of God's control, then God cannot help
- 8:03you. That is it.
- 8:03The tears would just fall into a void.
- 8:05You would just be screaming into an empty room.
- 8:07Yes, God's absolute rule over the darkest familial despair is
- 8:13the only solid ground for hope. He governs all creatures,
- 8:17actions, and things from the greatest even to the least.
- 8:21The world says the broken home is a product of environmental
- 8:24factors. Christ says it is a theater for
- 8:27His severe and sovereign grace. God is actively working in the
- 8:31very mess you think He has abandoned.
- 8:33I want to take this out of the realm of abstract theology
- 8:36because, you know, talking about decrees and sovereignty can
- 8:39sound like we are just reading a seminary textbook.
- 8:41It can get dry if we are not careful.
- 8:43Right. So to truly grasp this, we have
- 8:46to look at how God actually executed this in history.
- 8:49We need to look at real people with real families who failed
- 8:52spectacularly. This leads us directly to the
- 8:55chaotic era of the Judges and the devastating collapse of a
- 8:58prominent priestly family. We are going to a place called
- 9:01Shiloh. We really have to set the stage
- 9:03here because the historical backdrop makes their sins so
- 9:06much worse. The era of the Judges is drawing
- 9:08to a close. This was a time characterized by
- 9:10complete spiritual bankruptcy in Israel.
- 9:14The author of Judges summarizes the entire era with a chilling
- 9:18phrase. Everyone did what was right.
- 9:20In his own eyes. It was absolute moral anarchy.
- 9:24And right in the middle of this anarchy, the Tabernacle, the
- 9:26literal dwelling place of God's presence on earth, is resting at
- 9:30Shiloh, and Eli is the high Priest.
- 9:32And he is also the civil judge of Israel.
- 9:34Yeah, he is the spiritual mediator for the entire nation.
- 9:38When the people need to hear from God or offer sacrifices for
- 9:41their sins, they go to Eli. And his two sons, Hofni and
- 9:45Phineas, are functioning as active priests under his
- 9:47authority. Yet the biblical text explicitly
- 9:50calls them worthless men who did not know the Lord.
- 9:52Now, corrupt priesthoods were common in Pagan ancient Near
- 9:56Eastern cults. Very common.
- 9:57You had temple prostitution, bribery, extortion.
- 10:01That was standard operating procedure for Pagan religions,
- 10:04but the God of Israel demanded absolute holiness.
- 10:07His priests were supposed to reflect his character.
- 10:09And their sins were not hidden or subtle, They were brazen.
- 10:14The text in First Samuel 2 lists their specific offenses, and we
- 10:17really need to understand the mechanics of what they were
- 10:20doing to grasp the severity. Of OK, walk us through that.
- 10:23Under the Levitical law, when a worshipper brought a peace
- 10:26offering, the fat was supposed to be burned on the altar as an
- 10:30offering to God. Then the priest was given a
- 10:33specific, modest portion of the boiled meat.
- 10:37It was a beautiful picture of communion between God, the
- 10:40priest and the worshipper. But Hofni and Phineas completely
- 10:44hijacked the system. They did.
- 10:46The text says they were literally taking 3 pronged meat
- 10:49hooks, thrusting them into the boiling pots and taking whatever
- 10:52they wanted. And it gets worse.
- 10:54They demanded the raw meat before the fat was even burned
- 10:57for the Lord. They were robbing God of his
- 10:59offering and bullying the worshippers.
- 11:01And if the worshippers hesitated, the priests
- 11:03threatened to take it by force. They turned the Sanctuary of
- 11:06Grace into a mafia shakedown. That is a good analogy.
- 11:10And as if that were not enough, they were committing gross
- 11:13sexual immorality with the women who are serving at the entrance
- 11:16to the tent meeting. Right at the doorway to the Holy
- 11:19Place, yes. This was a deliberate, settled
- 11:22profanation of the Holy Place. It was not a momentary lapse of
- 11:26judgement, it was a lifestyle of high handed rebellion.
- 11:30And this brings us to the failure of soft parenting.
- 11:33Eli's response is documented, and it is a terrifying warning
- 11:38for anyone raising children. It really is.
- 11:40He hears about all of this. He knows what his sons are
- 11:43doing, and he gives them a verbal rebuke.
- 11:45He says, why do you do such things?
- 11:46For I hear of your evil dealings from all these people.
- 11:49No, my sons, it is no good report that I hear the people of
- 11:52the Lord spreading abroad. And that is the extent of his
- 11:55discipline. He wags his finger at but he
- 11:58fails to act. He honors his sons above God
- 12:01under the Levitical law. What they were doing warranted
- 12:04removal from the priesthood at the very least, and likely
- 12:07capital punishment. But Eli just gives a weak,
- 12:10passive aggressive sigh. A father's verbal rebuke was
- 12:14simply not enough when decisive priestly discipline was required
- 12:18by the law of God. This is such a stark warning for
- 12:21modern families and churches. Speaking truth without taking
- 12:24decisive action is complicity. Wow, complicity.
- 12:29If a church leader or a parent simply says I don't like what
- 12:32you were doing but refuses to implement church discipline or
- 12:36establish firm boundaries, they are prioritizing a false,
- 12:41superficial domestic peace over the holiness of God.
- 12:45Let's talk about the proximity issue here, because this is
- 12:47where the sources draw a brilliant parallel to the modern
- 12:50listener. Now let's look at that.
- 12:51Hofni and Phineas were sons of immense privilege.
- 12:53They were not pagans living in a foreign land, ignorant of the
- 12:56law. They grew up in the Tabernacle.
- 12:58They had physical access to the sacrifices, the altar, the
- 13:01priestly garments. Yeah, they smell the incense
- 13:03every single day. But mere physical nearness to
- 13:06holy things does not regenerate a heart.
- 13:09It is like assuming that sitting in a garage makes you a car.
- 13:12You can have a kid who never misses youth group, who knows
- 13:16all the answers to the Catechism, who sits under
- 13:18expositional preaching every Sunday, but their heart can be
- 13:22entirely waterproofed against the Gospel.
- 13:24That is a terrifying thought for anyone raised in the church.
- 13:27It should strike fear into the modern conscience.
- 13:30Baptismal water, sound doctrine, Christian schooling, or having a
- 13:34godly parent cannot save a rebel.
- 13:37Covenant privilege actually increases accountability.
- 13:40Because greater light brings greater judgement.
- 13:42Yes, the sons of Eli sinned in the very place where they should
- 13:46have stood as witnesses to the Atonement.
- 13:48Their proximity to Grace made their rebellion infinitely more
- 13:51offensive. Which brings us to the climax of
- 13:54Eli's confrontation. Eli warns them.
- 13:57He tells them that if a man sins against another man, God may
- 14:00mediate for him. But if a man sins against the
- 14:03Lord, who will intercede? He lays out the severity of
- 14:05their position. He warns them of the severe
- 14:07danger they are in, but the sons refuse to listen.
- 14:10They just ignore him. And then the text gives the
- 14:13specific reason why they refuse to listen.
- 14:15And I have to say, when I read this in the Sorcerer's, it
- 14:18stopped me in my tracks. It is one of the most sobering
- 14:22verses in the entire Bible. We are looking at First Samuel
- 14:252.25. Let me read the devastating
- 14:28rationale straight from the text, it says.
- 14:31But they would not listen to the voice of their father, for it
- 14:34was the will of the Lord to put them to death.
- 14:36We have to slow down and dive into the Hebrew syntax here to
- 14:39understand the sheer weight of this statement.
- 14:42OK, let's do it. The conjunction used in this
- 14:44verse, translated as 4, is the Hebrew word key.
- 14:49A thorough syntactic analysis reveals that this is not merely
- 14:52A temporal use of the word OK. It is not saying and then God
- 14:56decided to put them to death. It is explicitly causal.
- 14:59Wait, hold on, I have to stop you there.
- 15:01You were telling me they refused to listen because God purposed
- 15:03their judgement. Yes, if I'm a parent listening
- 15:05to this, that sounds terrifying. It sounds like God set them up
- 15:09to fail. How is that not God causing them
- 15:11to sin? That is the natural human
- 15:13reaction to this text. We want to soften it.
- 15:16We want to say, well, God willed to put them to death because
- 15:19they wouldn't listen. But the Hebrew grammar simply
- 15:21does not allow for that. The text says they wouldn't
- 15:24listen because God had purposed their judgement.
- 15:27Furthermore, the Hebrew verb used for will or desire is
- 15:32chaffetz. This word denotes God's
- 15:35unassailable active decree to execute covenantal judgment.
- 15:39So it's very deliberate. Very deliberate, the author
- 15:41bypassed other Hebrew constructions that might have
- 15:43softened the blow. He used direct, active language
- 15:47to show God's absolute sovereignty in hardening their
- 15:49hearts. OK, but you have to explain how
- 15:51they can be held accountable if God willed their refusal,
- 15:55because right now it sounds like God is the author of sin.
- 15:58To understand this, we must grasp a vital theological
- 16:01distinction regarding the will of God.
- 16:03We must differentiate between God's revealed will, which is
- 16:06also known as His perceptive will, and His sovereign will,
- 16:10which is known as His decreative will.
- 16:12Break those down for me in plain English.
- 16:14God's revealed will consists of His righteous commandments, is
- 16:18what He tells us to do. His revealed will commanded
- 16:21Hofni and Phineas to be holy, to honor the sacrifices, to flee
- 16:26sexual immorality, and to heed their Father's rebuke.
- 16:29That is the standard of righteousness.
- 16:31But God's sovereign decreative will is the hidden blueprint of
- 16:35history. It determines the actual events
- 16:37that will unfold. His sovereign will ordain the
- 16:40circumstances where the hardened hearts of these two priests
- 16:43would freely choose to continue in their rebellion, which would
- 16:47lead directly to their ultimate judgement.
- 16:48OK, let's unpack this with an analogy because the concept of
- 16:52compatibilism, you know, the idea that God is absolutely
- 16:55sovereign and man is absolutely responsible, it can kind of
- 16:58break your brain if you don't visualize it.
- 17:00It is a heavy concept. Think about an author writing a
- 17:03massive epic novel. In this novel, there is a
- 17:05villain who makes a truly evil choice.
- 17:08The villain acts entirely according to his own wicked
- 17:11desires within the story. He plots, he schemes, he
- 17:14executes his evil plan because he wants to.
- 17:18Within the reality of the story, the villain is fully guilty.
- 17:21No one reads the book and says the villain is actually a good
- 17:24guy. We all know he is wicked.
- 17:26Right, his motives are entirely corrupt.
- 17:28But step outside the book. The author orchestrated the
- 17:31entire narrative structure. The author wrote the parameters
- 17:35of the world. The author created the scenario
- 17:37where the villains true nature would be exposed.
- 17:40Yes, the villain is totally accountable for his choices
- 17:43within the narrative, yet the author is sovereign over the
- 17:46whole book. That analogy He captures the
- 17:48essence of compatibilism beautifully.
- 17:51The Westminster Confession, specifically chapter 5,
- 17:54paragraph 4, addresses this directly.
- 17:56What does it say? It states that God's Providence
- 17:58extends to the first Fall and all other sins of angels and
- 18:02men, yet the sinfulness thereof proceeds only from the creature
- 18:06and not from God. God, being most holy and
- 18:09righteous, neither is nor can be the author or approver of sin.
- 18:13So the sons of Eli were acting exactly as their depraved hearts
- 18:16desired. God wasn't forcing them against
- 18:19their will to steal meat or commit immorality.
- 18:21They loved doing those things. That is right.
- 18:24God did not inject fresh evil into innocent men.
- 18:28He simply handed guilty men over to the hardness they already
- 18:31loved. He withdrew His common grace.
- 18:34He withheld the restraining grace they did not deserve in
- 18:36the 1st place. Their refusal to listen is
- 18:40morally their own doing, yet simultaneously serves God's holy
- 18:44judicial sentence against them. This story of Eli's family shows
- 18:47God judging corrupt priests. It shows God managing the chaos
- 18:51in the Tabernacle. But the narrative of divine
- 18:54Providence over family brokenness does not end there.
- 18:57No it does not. We see this exact same sovereign
- 18:59discipline applied not just to the priesthood, but to the
- 19:02throne. So we see God's sovereignty over
- 19:04a corrupt priest. But it's easy to dismiss Eli as
- 19:07just a weak, passive father. What happens when the Father is
- 19:11a warrior, a king, a man after God's own heart?
- 19:15That brings us to David, right? Moving into Second Samuel, we
- 19:17shift from the chaotic era of the Judges to the established
- 19:21Davidic Kingdom. God had unilaterally established
- 19:24the digitic covenant, promising David an eternal throne.
- 19:27And David is described as a man after God's own heart.
- 19:29He wrote the Psalms. He slew Goliath.
- 19:31Yet his reign is marred by severe, catastrophic moral
- 19:35failure. We are talking about the
- 19:36Bathsheba incident. Yes, David is walking on his
- 19:39roof. He sees Bathsheba bathing.
- 19:42He uses his royal power to commit adultery with her and
- 19:45then to cover up the resulting pregnancy.
- 19:47He orchestrates the premeditated murder of her husband, Uriah the
- 19:52Hittite. It is an appalling abuse of
- 19:54power. It is the prophet Nathan
- 19:56confronts David and delivers a terrifying covenantal curse from
- 20:00the Lord. The sword shall never depart
- 20:03from your house. I will raise up evil against you
- 20:05out of your own house. The outworking of that judgement
- 20:08is horrific. We see a literal bloody
- 20:11fulfillment within David's own family tree.
- 20:13It is an absolute. Mess A total tragedy.
- 20:15His first born son Amnon assaults his half sister Tamar.
- 20:19Then Tamar's brother Absalom simmers in rage for two years
- 20:23and finally murders Amnon in retaliation.
- 20:25And it keeps going. Yeah, Absalom flees into exile,
- 20:27comes back and eventually orchestrates a massive military
- 20:30coup against his own father. He drives David out of Jerusalem
- 20:33and weeping and complete humiliation.
- 20:36It is the agonizing realization of God's active disciplinary
- 20:40Providence within the covenant family.
- 20:43God forgave David's sin in terms of eternal salvation, but he did
- 20:47not remove the temporal providential consequences.
- 20:50That is a massive distinction. As David is fleeing Jerusalem,
- 20:54cresting the Mount of Olives and heading toward the Jordan
- 20:56Valley, we encounter A staggering moment in Second
- 20:59Samuel 16. Paint the scene for us.
- 21:02David is exhausted. He is barefoot.
- 21:05He's weeping. His own son is trying to hunt
- 21:07him down and kill him. The physical exhaustion and
- 21:10emotional devastation are absolute, and right at this
- 21:13lowest point, a man named Shimei, who is from the
- 21:16household of the former king Saul, comes out and begins
- 21:19violently cursing David. He is throwing stones at the
- 21:21fleeing king. He is throwing dust in the air.
- 21:23Talk about kicking a man when he is down.
- 21:25Your own kid is trying to kill you, You have lost your Kingdom
- 21:28and now this random guy is hurling rocks and screaming
- 21:30insults at you. We really need to to look at how
- 21:33this event is framed, because the way David responds changes
- 21:37everything about how we understand suffering.
- 21:39The interaction is fascinating. It begins with the aggression of
- 21:43Shimei, who is actively cursing and making false theological
- 21:47accusation. He claims God is avenging the
- 21:49blood of Saul's house, which is a lie.
- 21:52David had actually shown mercy to Saul's house.
- 21:54Then Bishai, one of David's top military commanders, steps up
- 21:58with what we would call a Flesley retributive solution.
- 22:02He is a soldier after. All exactly.
- 22:04He looks at Shimei and says, why should this dead dog curse my
- 22:08Lord? The king let me go over and take
- 22:10off his head. Which politically and militarily
- 22:12makes total sense. You do not let a citizen throw
- 22:14rocks at the king. But David stops him.
- 22:17David completely bypasses the secondary 'cause he ignores
- 22:21Shimae's personal hatred. He ignores the rocks and the
- 22:24dust. Instead, he looks directly at
- 22:27the primary cause. David says leave him alone and
- 22:30let him curse, for the Lord has told him to.
- 22:32The Lord has told him to. That is incredible.
- 22:35David recognizes that this humiliating, unjust assault is
- 22:39part of God's meticulous Providence.
- 22:41David argues from the greater to the lesser.
- 22:44He basically says, if my own son from my own body is seeking my
- 22:48life right now, how much more might this Benjamite be
- 22:51permitted to curse me? David submits to the trial.
- 22:55He proceeds in patient endurance while she may just keeps walking
- 22:59along the Ridge, throwing stones and kicking up dirt.
- 23:02David understands that the resolution is not found and
- 23:05executing immediate vengeance, but in submissive trust to the
- 23:09sovereign decrees of God over the hostile actions of men.
- 23:12And we need to clarify again, based on what we discussed
- 23:15earlier with the compatibilism, God did not suspend the moral
- 23:18law and command shimmy to sin. Right, God didn't force him to
- 23:21be evil. Exactly.
- 23:23God spoke in His Creator voice, providentially bringing about
- 23:26the specific circumstances wherein Shimay's own wicked,
- 23:29bitter heart would freely choose to curse David.
- 23:32Shimay was entirely responsible and guilty for his sin, yet his
- 23:35actions were governed by God's for arching decree to discipline
- 23:38David. Think about the application here
- 23:41for your own life. When conflict strikes your
- 23:43family, when a spouse betrays you or a child rebels with high
- 23:48handed defiance and starts throwing metaphorical rocks at
- 23:50you, the faithful response is not fleshly vengeance.
- 23:55It is not lashing out like a Bishop trying to cut someone's
- 23:57head off in an argument. It is hard not to though.
- 23:59It is incredibly hard, but the faithful response is bowing
- 24:03beneath the mighty hand of God, crusting his meticulous
- 24:06Providence over the hostility. It is saying God has permitted
- 24:09this rock to hit me for my sanctification.
- 24:12It requires a massive paradigm shift.
- 24:14You stop fighting the secondary 'cause as the frustrating
- 24:17spouse, the rebellious child, and you submit to the primary
- 24:20cause, knowing He is working all things for your good.
- 24:24OK, this all sounds incredibly heavy.
- 24:26If God is in complete control of hardening hearts, if he ordains
- 24:29the circumstances of our trials, and if human beings are totally
- 24:32depraved and love their sin like Eli Sons did, yeah, how does
- 24:36anyone ever change? That is the big question.
- 24:39How does a wayward child ever wake up and come home?
- 24:42If I am a parent listening to this, I need to know the
- 24:44mechanics of how this turns around.
- 24:46To understand how a heart changes, we must establish
- 24:50clearly the human autonomy offers absolutely 0 hope for a
- 24:54dead Sinner. 0. If a rebel could simply choose
- 24:57to come home on their own, utilizing some innate goodness,
- 25:01they would have done it already. The natural man is dead in
- 25:04trespasses and sins. So repentance is not a human
- 25:07work. I cannot logic my child into
- 25:08repenting. I cannot threaten my spouse into
- 25:10repenting. No, it is an entirely
- 25:12supernatural reality. Let's look at the biblical text.
- 25:15In Second Timothy 2.25, Paul instructs Timothy on how to deal
- 25:19with difficult people. What does he say?
- 25:21He says to correct opponents with gentleness, adding God may
- 25:25perhaps grant them repentance, leading to a knowledge of the
- 25:27truth. Let's write down that word
- 25:28repentance because you know, we use it a lot in church, but I
- 25:31think we lose the weight of. It we definitely do.
- 25:34The Greek word used there is menoya.
- 25:36It is derived from meta meaning after and no way meaning to
- 25:40perceive or think. In the secular Greco Roman usage
- 25:44of the 1st century, this word often carried A shallow meaning,
- 25:47just a simple regret or a change of opinion, like changing your
- 25:51mind about what you want for dinner, right?
- 25:53But the New Testament elevates this term to describe a radical,
- 25:57divinely wrought change of mind, heart, and direction.
- 26:00And the grammar of that verse in Second Timothy is crucial to
- 26:04understanding who actually produces this change.
- 26:07The syntax is vital. Repentance metanoia is the
- 26:10direct object of the verb translated may grant.
- 26:12Oh wow. In Greek, this specific verb
- 26:15tense is essentially the mood of potential.
- 26:18It completely removes human action from the driver's seat.
- 26:22It proves that repentance is not a human work generated by the
- 26:25flesh. It is a gift.
- 26:26It is a specific divine gift granted by the Holy Spirit.
- 26:29It means God has to be the one to flip the switch in the human
- 26:32heart. If God does not flip the switch,
- 26:33the room stays dark. Always we see the terrifying
- 26:36flip side of this in Hebrews 12. The text points to Esau, who
- 26:40sold his birthright for a single meal.
- 26:43Later, when he desired to inherit the blessing, he was
- 26:46rejected. The verse says he found no
- 26:49chance to repent, though he sought it with tears.
- 26:52With tears. The literal translation is that
- 26:54he found no place of repentance. He had worldly sorrow.
- 26:58He was sad about the consequences, but God possesses
- 27:02the terrifying prerogative to withhold the grace of true
- 27:05repentance. God knows precisely what
- 27:08circumstances, what preaching, and what internal workings of
- 27:12the Spirit are necessary to break the hardest heart of any
- 27:15family member. Yes, we do.
- 27:17When He decrees to grant that repentance, it is absolute and
- 27:20effective. When he withholds it, the Sinner
- 27:22remains in their chosen rebellion.
- 27:25That is the hard truth of divine sovereignty.
- 27:27I can hear the pushback from our listeners right now.
- 27:30Someone is screaming at their phone saying if repentance is a
- 27:32total gift from God and I cannot manufacture it in my kid, should
- 27:36I just sit in an armchair, stay silent and wait for lightning to
- 27:39strike? Do I just do nothing and blame
- 27:41God if they don't repent? Absolutely not.
- 27:43That leads to the error of fatalism.
- 27:46The Reformed faith teaches that God ordains both the ends and
- 27:49the means. He ordains the salvation of His
- 27:51elect, and He ordains the specific methods by which that
- 27:54salvation is brought about. The ordinary means of grace,
- 27:57yes. Parents are explicitly commanded
- 28:00to warn, to discipline, to model holiness, and to pray fervently.
- 28:05We do not abandon these duties just because God is sovereign.
- 28:08We use them precisely because we trust that God works through
- 28:11them. Exactly using the application
- 28:13from our sources, we are called to pray Romans 10.1 prayers.
- 28:16Paul says My heart's desire and prayer to God for them is that
- 28:20they may be saved. We ask God to open blind eyes
- 28:23precisely because He's the only one who possesses the authority
- 28:26and the power to do so. We speak the truth, we maintain
- 28:30boundaries, and we plead with God to grant the gift of
- 28:33metanoia. We must reject the pragmatic,
- 28:36seeker sensitive church methods that attempt to heal rebellion
- 28:39through entertainment or moralistic advice.
- 28:41You cannot entertain a dead soul to life.
- 28:44You really can't. We rely entirely on the Word
- 28:46preached, prayer offered, and discipline administered, knowing
- 28:50God operates through these ordinary means.
- 28:52So we have seen human priests fail horribly with Eli's sons.
- 28:57We have seen human kings fail disastrously with David's house.
- 29:01The Old Testament leaves us with this aching voice, a huge voice.
- 29:05We need a mediator who will never fail.
- 29:07We need a king who will never abuse his power.
- 29:10This brings our focus to the Christological fulfillment of
- 29:14these agonizing historical narratives.
- 29:16Let's return to Eli's agonizing question from earlier.
- 29:19If a man sins against the Lord, who will intercede?
- 29:22Yeah, Hashmi couldn't do it. He was the one sending.
- 29:24Phineas couldn't do it. David, despite being a king,
- 29:28couldn't do it because his own hands were stained with Uriah's
- 29:30blood. The Levitical system was utterly
- 29:33incapable of producing lasting righteousness.
- 29:36Israel desperately needed a perfect Thai priest who wouldn't
- 29:39exploit the worshippers or profane the sacrifice.
- 29:42And Jesus Christ, perfectly fulfilled with those corrupt
- 29:44sons, failed to do He didn't defile the temple, He cleansed
- 29:47it with a whip. He didn't steal the sacrifice
- 29:49with a meat hook. He became the spotless
- 29:52substitutionary lamb. Where Eli's sons were rebellious
- 29:55and refused their Father's voice, Jesus was the perfectly
- 29:58obedient son. In Gethsemane, facing a cup of
- 30:01wrath infinitely more dreadful than temporal death, he didn't
- 30:05harden himself. He sweat blood and he cried out.
- 30:08Not my will, but yours be done. The doctrine of Providence
- 30:12connects directly to the crucifixion of Christ.
- 30:15The hardest line we analyzed earlier was that Eli's sons
- 30:18would not listen because the Lord intended to put them to
- 30:21death. The cross reveals the holiest,
- 30:24most stunning form of divine Providence over human evil.
- 30:27Look at Acts 2.23. Peter is preaching at Pentecost
- 30:31and he says this Jesus delivered up according to the definite
- 30:35plan and foreknowledge of God. You crucified and killed by the
- 30:38hands of lawless men. Lawless man acted wickedly.
- 30:42Herod Pontius Pilate, the Roman soldiers who drove the nails,
- 30:45the religious leaders who mocked him, they all made real,
- 30:48culpable choices. They acted according to their
- 30:50own depraved desires. Yet it happened according to the
- 30:53definite predetermined plan of God.
- 30:55God ordained the greatest evil in the history of the cosmos to
- 30:58accomplish the greatest good ever realized.
- 31:00Jesus experienced the ultimate broken family.
- 31:03Think about it. During his earthly ministry, his
- 31:05own physical brothers mocked him and didn't believe in him.
- 31:08They thought he was out of his mind.
- 31:09He was betrayed by a close friend who ate bread with him.
- 31:13He was abandoned by his disciples when he needed the
- 31:15most. And then on the cross, he
- 31:18experienced the ultimate familial rejection.
- 31:21He was forsaken by his Heavenly Father.
- 31:24He absorbed the full, unmitigated wrath of God so that
- 31:28enemies could be adopted into the household of God.
- 31:30Christ bore the penalty for covenant Breakers.
- 31:33Because he secured this eternal adoption, believers can face the
- 31:37temporal fractures of their earthly families with a
- 31:40completely different mindset. The earthly home is not the
- 31:44final reality. Your biological family is not
- 31:47your ultimate family. Which brings us to the pastoral
- 31:50application. For you, the listener, how do
- 31:52you suffer through a shattered home with actual hope?
- 31:55We have a lot of practical takeaways from the sources. 1st
- 31:58the sources are clear. Refuse denial.
- 32:00Do not deny the reality of sin in your home.
- 32:02Families often survive by sweeping things under the rug.
- 32:05Parents minimize the rebellion, they say.
- 32:07Oh, it's just a phase. Or spouses conceal destructive
- 32:09patterns to keep up appearances at church.
- 32:12But scripture refuses denial. Love does not require blindness.
- 32:17You could look at a situation and say My loved 1 is in
- 32:19hardened rebellion without ceasing to love them.
- 32:23You must name the evil, but you do not have to interpret the
- 32:25story as though you are God. You do not know the final
- 32:28chapter. The second application deals
- 32:30with our priorities. We have to maintain ordered
- 32:32loves. This speaks directly to the
- 32:35danger of idolizing the family. In conservative circles, we love
- 32:38to talk about family values, but Eli's massive failure was that
- 32:42he honored his sons above the Lord.
- 32:44Covenant faithfulness requires a strict hierarchy.
- 32:47God first, family second. We cannot sacrifice biblical
- 32:50truth to preserve a temporary, superficial domestic peace.
- 32:54If you are prioritizing family harmony over obedience to God's
- 32:57Word. If you are letting a rebellious
- 32:59child dictate the spiritual climate of your home just to
- 33:01keep them happy, you are walking in the exact footsteps of Eli.
- 33:05Now what about the listener who is feeling a terrified
- 33:07conscience right now? Someone listening might be
- 33:09thinking, what if God has withheld repentance from me?
- 33:13What if I am the Esau in this story?
- 33:15What if I have sinned away my day of grace?
- 33:17The pastoral comfort drawn from these texts is beautiful in its
- 33:21simplicity. If you are grieving over your
- 33:24sin, if you are experiencing A terrified conscience and a
- 33:28desperate desire to repent, that very grief is undeniable
- 33:33evidence that the Holy Spirit is actively at work within you.
- 33:36Because dead men don't feel pain.
- 33:38Precisely. Reprobates like Hofni and
- 33:41Phineas love their darkness. They do not grieve their sin
- 33:45against the Lord, They revel in it.
- 33:47They want more of it. If your heart is breaking over
- 33:50your rebellion, it is because the Sovereign Lord is actively
- 33:53healing it. The final application is to
- 33:55maintain a fierce hope. If human inability is total, if
- 33:59we are completely unable to save our loved ones, then it sets the
- 34:02stage for God's greatest miracles.
- 34:04God can break the hardest of hearts.
- 34:06He can humble the proudest rebel.
- 34:08You have every reason to pray with unrelenting hope, not
- 34:10because you're a perfect parent or a perfect spouse, but because
- 34:13God is absolutely sovereign over the human heart.
- 34:16The Christian does not say my family is whole, therefore God
- 34:19is faithful. That is a fragile conditional
- 34:22faith, the Christian says. God is faithful, therefore I can
- 34:25obey, pray, warn, forgive and hope even while my family is
- 34:29broken. All the paths of the Lord are
- 34:32steadfast love and faithfulness, including the paths of prodigal
- 34:35children, silent dinners, and tear stained pillows.
- 34:38To wrap up our deep dive today, the sorrow of a broken family is
- 34:42a heavy, heavy cross. It is a unique agony that only
- 34:47those who walk it truly understand.
- 34:49It is, but God's absolute sovereignty over that sorrow is
- 34:52your strongest anchor. The same Providence that judged
- 34:55Eli's house raised up the prophet Samuel.
- 34:58The same Providence that struck David's house prepared the way
- 35:01for Christ the eternal King. As we conclude, I want to leave
- 35:04you with a final thought in the ponder When you look at the
- 35:07empty chair at your dining table, when the absence of that
- 35:09wayward family member feels like a physical weight on your chest,
- 35:13consider this. What is that?
- 35:15What if God is using that painful absence to hollow out of
- 35:17space in your own heart? What if He is making room for a
- 35:21reliance on Christ that you never would have developed if
- 35:24your home had remained perfectly intact?
- 35:26What if the collapse of the building is what finally makes
- 35:29you look to the architect? Thank you for joining us for
- 35:32this deep dive on reformed thinking.
- 35:34Keep your eyes fixed on the eternal family of the redeemed.