Latest / Authentic Living / Thriving Through Uncertainty and the ROR: Return On Relationships with Jennifer Spear

Transcript

Thriving Through Uncertainty and the ROR: Return On Relationships with Jennifer Spear · Authentic Living

• 0:01
  Welcome to authentic living with Roxanne, a place where we have as conversations about
• 0:08
  things that really matter in our lives.
• 0:11
  And now here's your host, Roxanne Derhodge.
• 0:36
  2.
• 0:38
  Hi, everyone.
• 0:38
  It's Roxanne Derhodge.
• 0:40
  Thanks again for tuning in again this week.
• 0:43
  Today, I have a special, I would say friend, Jennifer's Pier with us today.
• 0:48
  Hi, Jen.
• 0:48
  How are you?
• 0:49
  Hi, Roxanne.
• 0:50
  Happy to be here with you.
• 0:52
  So Jen, I often say she makes people play in the moment when when you're together with her
• 1:02
  and, she owns a business, that's called unscripted.
• 1:07
  So we're gonna talk a little bit our topic today is just gonna talk a little bit about
• 1:13
  problem solving and what you do in the moment when you're unscripted which is Jennifer's
• 1:18
  expertise, but we're gonna talk a little bit also about some amazing research that she has
• 1:24
  just I've been kind of getting out there into the world.
• 1:29
  So, Jen, let's talk a little bit about, the uncertainty that we've been living in.
• 1:35
  And I think, you know, I would say that a lot of us are kinda getting tired of talking about
• 1:40
  it, but I think it's something that's now we're seeing the shrapnel associated with that
• 1:46
  uncertainty.
• 1:47
  So what's what was it like for you personally or professionally in the last 2 years with that
• 1:55
  uncertainty, with the pandemic.
• 1:59
  Yeah.
• 1:59
  Thanks, Roxanne.
• 2:00
  It, I mean, it has been something.
• 2:02
  It's been something for everyone.
• 2:04
  Prior to the pandemic when I talked about being unscripted, if I was doing a keynote, I might
• 2:09
  have said something like, what if?
• 2:12
  Everything changed.
• 2:13
  What if you could no longer work the way you've always worked?
• 2:16
  And then 2020 came, and we couldn't.
• 2:19
  And so it very quickly went from what if to what now, you know, and and understanding that
• 2:25
  and recognizing that you know, anytime we face any kind of change or or anything new, there's
• 2:32
  uncertainty.
• 2:33
  And for most people, that uncertainty can be uncomfortable.
• 2:37
  Right?
• 2:37
  And that's what can get us to to stop or or to resist change.
• 2:42
  But when COVID happened, we didn't have a choice.
• 2:45
  There was a lot of uncertainty that was happening, but we all had to be able to react.
• 2:50
  And some people are, have been able to to cope or or or to get through it a little bit better
• 2:58
  because of that being comfortable with uncertain and recognizing that, you know, over
• 3:04
  the last 2 years, things, you know, it constantly changed and things are gonna
• 3:09
  continue to change, which means we just have to get good at it.
• 3:12
  And that really is about being comfortable.
• 3:16
  With the uncertainty, being comfortable, accepting the situations as they are and then
• 3:22
  being able to move through them and and get through that uncertainty to the other side.
• 3:28
  You know, and that's such a good and, point, right, because I think if we were to back up
• 3:34
  and look at change, change is a constant that we've always known, but we never want to accept
• 3:42
  that things are consistently changing.
• 3:44
  Human beings, even when you see children play.
• 3:47
  Right?
• 3:49
  You know, if you give kids, you know, a bucket full of different shapes.
• 3:53
  What the first thing they do is they try to kinda collate input you know, the circles
• 3:58
  together, the squares together, you know, all that stuff.
• 4:01
  So as human beings, we're constantly trying to make sense of things if they don't fit a
• 4:06
  category.
• 4:07
  And the pandemic, I think, truly showed us for the first time glaringly obvious that we really
• 4:13
  have what little control we really do have.
• 4:16
  And like to your point, some of us thrive potentially, not that we're looking for change,
• 4:22
  but we're able to kind of keep up with change and other people get completely shut down.
• 4:27
  And, you know, that's why I find it fascinating when we look at what's happened to some people
• 4:31
  that have thrived and push through the pandemic.
• 4:35
  And other people, they, you know, if they were struggling with certain things, those struggles
• 4:40
  kind of became exponential by 10 where they kind of got more frozen.
• 4:46
  So if you think of your work in the kind of the concept of you know, it was privileged to
• 4:52
  spend, it was impossible almost 2 months ago now.
• 4:55
  We, we went away on it to retreat together and we did some improv games, together, which was
• 5:02
  fascinating.
• 5:03
  So in your world, when you're now or during the pandemic when you were talking about that
• 5:10
  uncertainty, how how do people or how did people deal with that concept of being
• 5:15
  unscripted?
• 5:19
  So unscripted, it has a a number of different meanings for me, but really it's based on the
• 5:24
  principles of improv and and problem solving.
• 5:27
  And if you're familiar with Roxanne improvisational theater, in a in a nutshell,
• 5:33
  what happens there is 2 or more people come up on stage without a script and they create
• 5:38
  something on the spot that you would have sworn was rehearsed in advance.
• 5:42
  And the reason it works is because there's rules in improv that every improviser knows.
• 5:47
  And so by sharing these rules and skills of improv, it means that we can become comfortable
• 5:53
  with uncertainty because an improviser has no idea what's gonna happen to them, right, when
• 5:58
  they go to work, when they get there, it's a dark stage.
• 6:00
  There's no script, no costumes, no props, and they have no clue what's gonna happen.
• 6:06
  And that is so exciting.
• 6:08
  Because that uncertainty and ambiguity represent opportunity.
• 6:12
  And so one of the basic, principles of improv is we talk about accepting all off So anything
• 6:19
  that is done, said, or brought into an improv scene is considered an offer, and it's your job
• 6:24
  to accept it.
• 6:26
  Right?
• 6:26
  So you can up block or deny an offer.
• 6:29
  And so COVID or any big change is really just an offer.
• 6:33
  It doesn't have to be a threat.
• 6:35
  And so if you are able to accept that offer, accept the circumstances that you're in, And
• 6:43
  then another principle of improv is to say yes and.
• 6:46
  Right?
• 6:46
  So you accept it and then you build on it and you move it forward in a positive way.
• 6:51
  Well, then we're able to take the situation and move forward.
• 6:55
  And so we're certainly seeing people who, when COVID happened, but they started to to shut
• 7:03
  down.
• 7:04
  And others saw it as an opportunity.
• 7:07
  So an opportunity to learn an opportunity to do new things.
• 7:12
  And you you eluded earlier the the research that I did.
• 7:15
  And so I my partner, Angela Muto, and I just embarked on, a major research study, which
• 7:21
  we're super excited about, and it was studying the impact of COVID on the human condition.
• 7:26
  And we were able to take a segment, or or create identify 5 segments within the
• 7:33
  population.
• 7:35
  And if we look at these segments across how they reacted to COVID, we go from being
• 7:42
  incapacitated on one end.
• 7:44
  To being inspired on the other.
• 7:47
  And there is a group of people that were inspired by COVID.
• 7:51
  And by no means am I saying, you know, that it that it was a good thing.
• 7:55
  There were horrible things that happened and, during COVID.
• 7:59
  So I'm not making light of it, but to recognize that it was an offer opportunity.
• 8:03
  And and these people took opportunities in their personal lives by by connecting more with
• 8:08
  family or, connecting with neighbors creating new relationships or in their businesses,
• 8:16
  seeing an opportunity to do things differently.
• 8:19
  And you know, whether it's what you do, how you do it, or who you do it with, but seeing those
• 8:25
  opportunities.
• 8:27
  I know Roxanne, from your background, you're you're probably very familiar with with, post
• 8:33
  traumatic stress, but there's also post traumatic growth.
• 8:36
  That can happen for both individuals and companies, and we're seeing some of that now.
• 8:40
  So those that were able to come through the change, come through the uncertainty, and
• 8:46
  accept that situation and build on it.
• 8:49
  Those are the ones that we're seeing that are thriving.
• 8:52
  And I think it's really important to to understand those folks so that we can help
• 8:57
  everybody else along.
• 9:00
  We know from from the research that 60% of the population are not doing so well.
• 9:07
  They're either struggling or they're suffering, but there were 40% that are thriving.
• 9:14
  And so if we can understand them, we can help the others along and that's really gotta be our
• 9:19
  goal, right, to want everybody to be able to thrive as we're coming out of this and to be
• 9:24
  strong the next time we're facing, you know, some sort of, challenge or or change in the
• 9:31
  world.
• 9:32
  You know, it's interesting that you say that.
• 9:34
  Right?
• 9:34
  Because, of course, in my world and in my early career, when I dealt with trauma, so, of
• 9:39
  course, like, when I worked with the police, what would happen is we would respond to a
• 9:44
  crime.
• 9:44
  You know, someone something has happened, and I saw every iteration of that 60, 40% where
• 9:51
  something, you know, someone's life has just automatically changed within seconds, and we
• 9:57
  would go in as a trauma team And quite literally, you would see people that could
• 10:02
  distance, and I often say creating a gap where they can say, well, I know this is really,
• 10:07
  really tough right now.
• 10:09
  However, this is what this is what I how I could kind of look at things a little bit
• 10:14
  differently.
• 10:14
  So the the concept of, you know, post traumatic stress versus post traumatic growth is it's
• 10:21
  it's real and but sometimes some people get so shut down that they are almost like catatonic
• 10:28
  to the point
• 10:29
  where other
• 10:30
  people are able to say, well, well, this is happening, but I can see that maybe this, this,
• 10:34
  and this is a possibility, or you know, right now I know I'm very, very sad.
• 10:39
  However, I know that I'll be able to get out of this, and it's so it's so true.
• 10:43
  And, and and the there often are factors associated with both groups.
• 10:50
  So let's talk about some of the qualities, other qualities, or things that you found in
• 10:54
  this data because I think that's gonna be fascinating, with what we need to know.
• 11:00
  Like you said, if if 40% this 40% bucket is thriving.
• 11:03
  Wow.
• 11:04
  Don't we need to know a lot more about these people so that we could, dissect it, understand
• 11:10
  it, understand their cognitions, the emotions, how what kind of things they've done to take
• 11:14
  care of themselves.
• 11:16
  Yeah.
• 11:16
  Absolutely.
• 11:17
  So what was What we did in the research was we partnered with some academics and used their
• 11:23
  models in our research.
• 11:24
  So we know that these are tried tested and and true.
• 11:28
  So we looked at we looked at values, overall well-being and flourishing.
• 11:35
  We looked at resilience, curiosity, and then we were able to to bring those models in together.
• 11:42
  So not just being able to see, you know, overall life satisfaction, on one model, but
• 11:47
  being able to combine that with overall well-being.
• 11:50
  And so it was fascinating.
• 11:52
  And then taking all of that and being able to see, well, how are we reacting within COVID?
• 11:58
  And so there there are 40% of the population that are thriving.
• 12:01
  We also have 40% of the population that you would consider high resilience, high, copers is
• 12:09
  what the BRCS model would would define the mess.
• 12:13
  So being able to cope with uncertainty.
• 12:15
  And so it's both 40%, but it's not necessarily the same 40%.
• 12:20
  And when we look at those 2 together, it's actually only 13% of the population that are
• 12:27
  both thriving and highly resistant.
• 12:31
  Interesting.
• 12:32
  And when we look at that overall, well-being peace.
• 12:36
  So those that are thriving that are also, doing really well on their well-being, which means
• 12:42
  their overall physical and mental health their, social health.
• 12:46
  So in terms of their social supports and their relationships, their financial health they did
• 12:53
  better during COVID as well.
• 12:57
  And so they're coming out just better overall and their overall well-being.
• 13:04
  It was also really interesting to see in terms of how they reacted with COVID.
• 13:11
  And so those that are thriving, those that were inspired, during the pandemic, actually had a
• 13:17
  lower incidence rate of COVID as well.
• 13:19
  And if they did get COVID, they have milder symptoms.
• 13:23
  Right.
• 13:23
  Those on the other side, those that you were describing who get shut down by it.
• 13:27
  They actually had worse overall health and well-being.
• 13:30
  They had higher, negative health manifestations as well.
• 13:35
  More likely to get COVID and, and more likely to have more severe relationship or, reactions
• 13:43
  to it more severe symptoms.
• 13:45
  And then we looked at their behaviors during COVID.
• 13:48
  And so those that were, struggling through it were more likely to isolate themselves, to
• 13:58
  binge watch, but to binge watch at the expense of their relationships.
• 14:02
  Whereas those on on the inspired side, they were less likely to binge watch, but it was
• 14:07
  probably because they were just doing more.
• 14:09
  They were, in spending more time in nature.
• 14:13
  They were doing things in their community.
• 14:15
  They were, creating relationships with others, and that was overall influencing their, you
• 14:22
  know, overall well-being and mental health, which was overall influencing how they were
• 14:27
  behaving during during COVID.
• 14:29
  It was just incredible to to see the the differences within these groups.
• 14:36
  One I I will say one positive thing.
• 14:38
  I I would say for everybody, it one of the things that came out in in the research is that
• 14:45
  the more resilient you are, the more resilient you will be.
• 14:49
  And the fact that we've all had to go through this incredibly challenging time If we're able
• 14:55
  to to get through it and learn from it, we're gonna be more resilient in the future, and I
• 15:00
  think that's positive for everybody.
• 15:02
  And if we can, again, accept those circumstances and be able to push through,
• 15:08
  that's where we're gonna see the positive on the other side.
• 15:12
  And so as leaders, it's something that we can do to help our people through this to to
• 15:16
  recognize those that are maybe struggling and help them be able to, work through the the the
• 15:27
  discomfort and and get through the uncertainty to be able to learn on the other side because
• 15:31
  that's where we're seeing the biggest difference are those that are able to learn
• 15:35
  through the resistance.
• 15:37
  See, that's just interesting with my psychological background, right, because if you
• 15:41
  think about it, right, in the data with staying at work and what keeps people awake from work,
• 15:48
  generally 65% of it is relationships across the board nationally.
• 15:51
  Right?
• 15:52
  So if you think about that and oftentimes people think it's mental health or, you know,
• 15:58
  it's it's generally couples relationships, family relationships, and and some kind of
• 16:03
  connection.
• 16:03
  Right?
• 16:04
  So even if you look at that and I often say there were mammals Gen.
• 16:08
  Right?
• 16:08
  What do we need?
• 16:09
  We so we lost the ability to be face to face front and center with, people that we normally
• 16:16
  would be around.
• 16:17
  Off of a sudden, boom, that was gone.
• 16:20
  So the opposite that of that is what I say is reptilian, which is the the the the, turning
• 16:27
  away from the shutting down.
• 16:29
  Right?
• 16:29
  And I often say even though you, you know, we're on camera, which is not ideal.
• 16:35
  We still have that connection of that mammalian element versus the opposite as if I'm shutting
• 16:41
  down, I'm thinking, oh, I don't wanna do this interview today, Jen.
• 16:45
  What are we gonna talk about?
• 16:46
  I'm gonna worry, and I'm gonna back away, which is kind of what what you're saying with this
• 16:51
  13%ers.
• 16:52
  Right?
• 16:53
  It makes sense.
• 16:54
  And a lot of my coaching, I see the same traits with people, because they are either saying
• 17:00
  Wow.
• 17:00
  This is pretty cruddy, but what can I do?
• 17:05
  And the other people that are really struggling are saying, what they would look nice for me is
• 17:12
  what everything that's wrong and well, what is possibly gonna go wrong and what is gonna be on
• 17:19
  the horizon.
• 17:20
  Right?
• 17:20
  So, again, that mindset shift, between the two subsets.
• 17:25
  So in that 13% I'm curious about them.
• 17:30
  What what did you were you able to kind of parse out some of the mindset elements for that
• 17:35
  13% of those people.
• 17:40
  Yeah, for sure.
• 17:41
  They they were, wonderfully, more likely to be on scripted as well, which is a great news.
• 17:49
  But what they did was they would look for creative ways to alter difficult situations.
• 17:55
  Right?
• 17:55
  So they accept the situation that they're in, but they were able to, be their own self
• 18:01
  direction and be able to choose how they were gonna respond in it.
• 18:06
  And they believe truly believe that whatever happens to them they can choose how they
• 18:11
  respond to it.
• 18:12
  And so that feeling that some people had in terms of feeling that it's hopeless because
• 18:19
  they were not in control of their situation.
• 18:22
  Regardless of the situation, regardless of the constraints, we can still control how we were
• 18:27
  bond within it.
• 18:28
  And so that, is so important that autonomy being able to bring your own creativity and,
• 18:36
  choosing what it is that you do.
• 18:38
  They certainly believe that they can grow in positive ways, and they actively would look to
• 18:44
  replace the losses that they experienced.
• 18:48
  And, you know, I was thinking as you were talking there, Roxanne, in terms of those
• 18:53
  social relationships and how do you do it online?
• 18:57
  I mean, you'd be creative at it.
• 18:59
  And and so you and I were are part of a group that I think is a fabulous example of this is
• 19:04
  right at the start of COVID.
• 19:06
  We came together in this writing group, and we meet every morning to be able to connect and to
• 19:13
  be productive.
• 19:14
  And, it started out.
• 19:16
  It was gonna be, you know, a few months because how long could this thing left.
• 19:20
  Right?
• 19:20
  And now we're we're we've already been 2 years in it.
• 19:24
  We we're still meeting every single morning as often as we can.
• 19:28
  With this group.
• 19:29
  And we've created this connection, with people, on a, what might have started on a we were all
• 19:40
  working on this saint similar activity.
• 19:43
  Well, then we developed, like an emotional connect with everybody as well and how
• 19:47
  important that is.
• 19:49
  And so we are seeing that within the 13%, those that actively sought out either to strengthen
• 19:56
  relationships that they already had or to build new ones.
• 20:00
  And embracing this online world in turn because there are some good things that come out of
• 20:06
  this because it allows us to be able to connect with more people more often But we are feeling,
• 20:12
  you know, the the Zoom fatigue for sure is it's a real thing, and being able to to connect with
• 20:20
  people again in person is gonna be important, but we're seeing anxiety around that too in
• 20:26
  terms of we got used to one thing and then we have to change again And when is the next shoe
• 20:31
  gonna drop?
• 20:32
  And instead of seeing this change as a as a threat, it it's an opportunity, and I think we
• 20:38
  have an opportunity to to bring the best of both together, right, being in person and
• 20:44
  online.
• 20:45
  You know, and that's so important because, you know, I and now we're trying to think there's
• 20:49
  10 or 11 of us.
• 20:50
  And initially, it was like, Oh, geez.
• 20:53
  I gotta write this book.
• 20:54
  That was the thought.
• 20:55
  Right?
• 20:56
  And, okay, we have to put structure in our day initially.
• 20:59
  I think that was the beginning with most most of us.
• 21:01
  Because I think some people had gone through, deficits in their business as upwards of 50 to
• 21:06
  60%.
• 21:08
  But what started to happen after a while, it was like I have this commitment, you know, and
• 21:13
  I don't know if you're what your thought, and I thought, oh, boy, I can't not show 3 days in a
• 21:17
  row.
• 21:18
  And then after a while, and I these are phenomenal women I should tell you.
• 21:23
  But we started to beat each other's support system in unknowingly which was amazing.
• 21:29
  And of course, what happens in lives, we have, you know, sicknesses, unfortunately, births,
• 21:37
  you know, people moving, you know, lots of things in that 2 years.
• 21:41
  And even though we were online, we really created a depth of connection that was amazing
• 21:47
  to watch.
• 21:48
  And I can tell to you as a psychotherapist, I was part of it, but I wasn't there in any other
• 21:54
  other than I was a human being that was as is as much need of connection as everybody else.
• 21:59
  So you're so right.
• 22:00
  If you're looking at it and we look at the pandemic, the people that I've coached or
• 22:04
  continue to coach are the ones that are saying, well, I can't have dinner with my family.
• 22:12
  But my, you know, I have a friend and through the COVID, what she did is she had lunch every
• 22:17
  single day with her elderly parents in the backyard you know, and whether it was a
• 22:23
  sandwich which was really quick, they had that connection because her elderly parents lived
• 22:27
  with her, or my girlfriend A friend of mine who lives right in my neighbor every single day
• 22:33
  through COVID, thick or thin through the golf course in the snow.
• 22:37
  We walked for over an hour every single day.
• 22:40
  I have never explored my neighborhood in that way at all, Jen.
• 22:44
  So the positives, those that 13% You could see, if these are some of the examples of things
• 22:50
  people have done, how amazing they they would have thrived through it.
• 22:55
  Yeah.
• 22:55
  Absolutely.
• 22:56
  And we're seeing those that are are doing the best from it also in terms of their values
• 23:01
  overall.
• 23:03
  Their focus was on self transcendence and and openness to change.
• 23:07
  And and both of those is more of a, a focus on others.
• 23:13
  So it goes from a a me to a we focus.
• 23:16
  And so by focusing on others and wanting to help others, that can help, bring us up as well
• 23:23
  in terms of, you know, that that thriving in terms of the positive outlook and being
• 23:28
  optimistic.
• 23:29
  And so we're seeing those that are on the highest end that that focus from from me to
• 23:35
  weeds the ones on on the lower end, they're more about trying to avoid anxiety as opposed
• 23:41
  to moving towards something.
• 23:42
  They're they're trying to move away from something.
• 23:45
  And their focus is definitely more on themselves, on self protection, focus on their
• 23:52
  highest values being around safety and secure security, and that makes sense.
• 23:56
  And and for a lot of people, we were financially impacted by the pandemic.
• 24:02
  And so when you're hit at those core levels, which can impact so many other things that make
• 24:07
  sense that we're gonna be focused on our own personal safety and security and how are we
• 24:11
  gonna get through this?
• 24:13
  And once we feel comfortable in that area, then we're able to to, rise above and look at other
• 24:20
  things and and focus on other people.
• 24:22
  So we are seeing there is a difference on on the financial side as well and, just hoping
• 24:29
  that as everyone starts going back to work and and we've seen a lot of industries that are
• 24:35
  opening up again, to be able to work in different ways.
• 24:38
  I think it's going to be extremely positive well.
• 24:41
  And speaking of work, the one thing that came out of this study, which has come out of every
• 24:46
  single study I have read through all of this, is that people wanna work from home.
• 24:51
  And, and so it's recognizing that again as leaders in in our, in our work when we're
• 24:58
  thinking about our teams and our employees, the ability to be flexible is going to be a key to
• 25:06
  retention.
• 25:07
  I I really believe it.
• 25:09
  Time is the new luxury, and people have recognized how much time they save by not
• 25:14
  commuting and what they could use that time for.
• 25:17
  And if we can help them see that save time, as a way that they can, use that to build
• 25:24
  relationships or or take on a creative hobby or to get out in nature and to exercise then we
• 25:31
  will be able to help them in terms of their overall well-being and and help them be able to
• 25:35
  thrive as well.
• 25:38
  So for leaders and and and people in organizations from some of this data, what are
• 25:43
  some of the things that leaders should be thinking about They should be, like you said,
• 25:47
  being creative with flexibility.
• 25:49
  Their benefits programs should accordingly, I would say mirror, what kind of things they
• 25:54
  should be offering to people.
• 25:57
  Flex times, I I I think of the counter side of this as well.
• 26:02
  Also leaving the house is something that may be building that into your to your return to work,
• 26:08
  policy as well.
• 26:09
  Right?
• 26:10
  So don't assume that everybody wants to be home all the time.
• 26:13
  But to make it, kind of creative enough.
• 26:15
  I know some environments have had it so that because they're trying to maintain that
• 26:19
  connection is to also have their, say, maybe quarterly meetings or something in person.
• 26:24
  These are some of the things that I've heard.
• 26:25
  What are some of the other things that you think leaders should be thinking about with
• 26:30
  some of the research.
• 26:32
  Yeah.
• 26:32
  Flexibility is definitely key.
• 26:34
  If if people can feel that they have more control or more autonomy over their schedules
• 26:38
  and how they do things, one of the biggest frustrations that we see is that people being
• 26:43
  told you have to go back to work and then they spend their entire day on a Zoom meeting.
• 26:47
  Or a teams meeting.
• 26:49
  And that could have been done from home.
• 26:52
  So thinking about the things that can be done as easily from home if people prefer that, and
• 26:57
  what needs to be done in person.
• 26:59
  And we know, you know, that connection piece in terms of being with people, you can't replicate
• 27:05
  it online.
• 27:05
  You you truly need to be in person, but there's a lot of tests that we can do as well if not
• 27:11
  even better.
• 27:12
  Online or at home when we're able to to focus and concentrate.
• 27:17
  Now there were times during this pandemic when the entire family was at home.
• 27:21
  And so, that would have been challenging as well.
• 27:24
  And so you would have to be able to negotiate that.
• 27:27
  But I think if leaders are able to when they're asking people to come back to work to if it
• 27:34
  makes sense, if if if it seems like it's in a reasonable request because we're gonna be able
• 27:39
  to do something with it.
• 27:41
  And that is respectful of of the people's time and energy and what it is that they need to do.
• 27:45
  I think that's key.
• 27:47
  The other big one we're really seeing is everywhere.
• 27:52
  We have an issue around trust.
• 27:54
  And trust has been broken in in a big way for for a lot of people one of the really
• 28:00
  interesting questions that we had within the study was we used idioms or or common phrases,
• 28:06
  and we add people, which of these phrases have more meaning to you since the pandemic.
• 28:12
  And the number one phrase that came up was don't believe everything you hear.
• 28:19
  Interesting.
• 28:20
  Right?
• 28:20
  And and then we were able to to ask people to tell us why.
• 28:24
  So we have, you know, 2000 verbatims on on why these are are important phrases or why they
• 28:31
  have more meaning to them And with that, when it really comes down to trust being one of the
• 28:36
  main themes that came out of that.
• 28:38
  So as leaders, I can't over over emphasize how important it is to, communicate clearly
• 28:47
  consistently do what you say you're gonna do.
• 28:52
  Support your employees, support your teams in in the way that you can.
• 28:58
  Everything that we do either either builds or breaks trust.
• 29:01
  And and right now, it's it's pretty broken.
• 29:03
  And so we have to do a lot of work to be able to to bring that up.
• 29:06
  In certain industries, we know have to do a lot of that work, to get their customers, their
• 29:14
  clients, or their members back.
• 29:16
  As well.
• 29:17
  Right?
• 29:17
  So I think there's a lot of work to do there.
• 29:19
  For sure.
• 29:20
  And and if, you know, if you think about it in my new book, ROR, return on relationships.
• 29:25
  I talk a lot about trust.
• 29:26
  And from a from a psychological lens, psychological safety is about consistency,
• 29:32
  small steps, you know, so gone are the days where we can kinda look at the mission, the
• 29:37
  vision, the strategic plan.
• 29:39
  It's, like, kinda, it's kinda like, okay, what is the living plan?
• 29:43
  So that you can reestablish trust if you've broken it because a lot of companies didn't do
• 29:47
  it well.
• 29:49
  They went virtual, managers that were managing not so well kind of didn't did worse while now
• 29:55
  they're had, you know, people kind of east to west coast.
• 29:58
  So there is a I think it's looking at things objectively to your point.
• 30:02
  Where are we at?
• 30:03
  Don't start all of a sudden, start to do, you know, you know, picnics and get togethers if
• 30:08
  you haven't addressed the issues that kind of, were left behind prior to the pandemic, figure
• 30:13
  out the steps, take a pulse, figure out how you're gonna get into that data, and then
• 30:17
  figure out what are some simple little things you can start to do to let people know we may
• 30:22
  have screwed up a little bit back there and we're human too, and we were scared as well.
• 30:28
  However, this is what we learned and help us understand how we're going to take those next
• 30:34
  steps.
• 30:34
  I think that becomes very, very important.
• 30:36
  Because without that, transparency, the capacity to start to develop trust again is is
• 30:43
  kinda it's lost.
• 30:45
  Absolutely.
• 30:46
  And and you nailed it Roxanne in terms of that transparency and also that vulnerability to say
• 30:52
  we might have gotten it wrong.
• 30:53
  We did make some mistakes.
• 30:55
  And this was new for all of us.
• 30:56
  I mean, none of us have worked through a global pandemic before.
• 31:00
  You know what I mean?
• 31:01
  Pretty amazing.
• 31:02
  And so we have to, you know, go easy on ourselves as well.
• 31:05
  We're recognizing that we have an opportunity to to make it better, to improve, to grow, and
• 31:12
  to be able to help our employees do this, and recognizing what a big piece work is in the
• 31:18
  rest of our lives that especially if people are working from home.
• 31:22
  I mean, now work is in our homes.
• 31:25
  And the more we can be positive and help them on the work side, that's gonna move over to
• 31:31
  their home life and then terms of helping their overall well-being and and, life satisfaction.
• 31:37
  And so the more we can do this and and support, our people that the stronger we're all gonna be
• 31:45
  moving through this and and ready, you know, for for the next change and seeing it as an
• 31:51
  opportunity, more than a threat.
• 31:55
  Well, I'm excited about your research.
• 31:57
  And I'm sure there's leaders out there thinking.
• 32:00
  Alright.
• 32:00
  How do we talk to this lady?
• 32:03
  And about, it's called the chaos lab as her her, new business that, has the research and so
• 32:11
  so where can people reach out to you, learn more about it, And just I'm sure I'm thinking
• 32:17
  about, you know, companies that could potentially look at that from some of our
• 32:21
  conversations.
• 32:22
  So tell people a little bit about put a Kia Slab and kinda what are you gonna do with all
• 32:28
  this amazing stuff and where they might be able to reach you to be able to consult about some
• 32:32
  of this?
• 32:33
  Thanks for Roxanne.
• 32:34
  I'm so super excited about this.
• 32:36
  So this new adventure, is a joint venture between me and my partner, Angela Moot.
• 32:42
  So chaos lab and and our first, work that we did together is the study, which we're calling
• 32:49
  chaos to clarity.
• 32:51
  And so it's really fresh.
• 32:53
  I mean, we launched the study on the 2nd anniversary of when the World Health
• 32:57
  Organization declared it a pandemic and So that was significant.
• 33:01
  And in terms of being 2 years into this and really understanding the impact on people's
• 33:07
  values and behavior, and how is that gonna impact us at work?
• 33:11
  So we're excited to to be sharing the results.
• 33:14
  And and this today was a little bit of a sneak preview.
• 33:18
  We're having our first reveal of some of the information on June 23rd, and, we'll have
• 33:24
  information about that on our website, which is is still fresh.
• 33:28
  I mean, the the ink is dripping off the screen a little bit.
• 33:32
  But it's chaoslab.org.
• 33:35
  But you can always reach out to me as well, and it's jsphere@workconscriptive.com.
• 33:44
  We're gonna be posting information on the website, but also on on LinkedIn and and the
• 33:50
  other social networks.
• 33:51
  So I'm super excited about being able to share it with you Roxanne and really looking forward
• 33:56
  to to working, with leaders and teams and organizations to be able to to bring this
• 34:02
  information to life and what can we do with it, to help everybody, learn and and grow and be
• 34:10
  able to face uncertainty with courage and confidence.
• 34:14
  Absolutely.
• 34:15
  And post traumatic growth.
• 34:16
  Right?
• 34:16
  So with my, you know, what I talk about with leaders, I tell them the more they're connected
• 34:20
  to themselves and and really getting a sense of how to maneuver through change.
• 34:25
  In this case, then they're able to impact others around them.
• 34:29
  So which is I think this, you know, 13% on the data can help us because the more we learn
• 34:36
  about these individuals, then in turn, we can, you know, set up trainings or potential ways to
• 34:43
  people that maybe would like to acquire these skills or accentuate these skills can learn
• 34:48
  these things and be able to implement them in their prayer groups or their you know, there
• 34:52
  are different, teams, all those things.
• 34:54
  So I think is this is a fascinating research.
• 34:57
  And and, again, thanks so much for letting us get a little bit inside information about it
• 35:02
  before the June 23rd.
• 35:04
  So for anybody, wanting more of again, it'll all this information will be in the show notes.
• 35:10
  And you can reach out to Jen at any point.
• 35:12
  So for anyone listening that really wants to learn about authentic leadership, like, you
• 35:17
  know, how am I doing?
• 35:18
  How am I doing with all the stuff.
• 35:21
  And you know what?
• 35:22
  Just reach out, as you can see below my name, you can see roxanderhodge.com.
• 35:26
  It's a quiz you can say you you may say, hey.
• 35:28
  It's not at work.
• 35:29
  I wanna look at home.
• 35:30
  All you do is fill out this little, fun quiz.
• 35:33
  It'll pop you back the information, and you'll know kind of where you benchmark in re in
• 35:38
  reference to things like communication, transparency, connection, all those those good
• 35:43
  things.
• 35:44
  So again, Jen, thanks so much for your time for everybody listening.
• 35:47
  Thank you so much for hanging out with me every single week.
• 35:51
  Thanks for tuning in to authentic living with Roxanne, creating the space for positive
• 35:56
  healthy change.
• 35:58
  Roxanne is a keynote speaker, psychotherapist, and coach to work with Roxanne, visit
• 36:04
  rocksandirhaj.com/blueprint.
• 36:08
  We'll see you next time.
• 36:10
  On authentic living with Roxanne.