Latest / Impact Ready / 129. Your Presence is a Gift

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129. Your Presence is a Gift · Impact Ready

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  Welcome to Impact Ready, a show dedicated to helping you elevate
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  your impact in the world. I'm Steph Safra, your host.
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  Let's explore the power of showing up with intention and
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  energy each day. This is for those who seek to
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  make life truly meaningful. Get ready for impact.
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  Hello, good morning. Thank you for being here for
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  listening to the Impact Ready Podcast today.
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  In this episode, we are going to talk about one of the greatest
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  gifts that you can give to people in your community, in
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  your sphere, and also one of the greatest gifts that you can give
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  to yourself. And that is the gift of your
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  presence. And I talked about this today
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  because so many of my conversations with clients and
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  with people out in the world at large are really around people's
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  sense of struggle. A lot of times this conversation
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  is about the struggle to feel connected to other people, feel
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  connected to their purpose, their joy in life, Just kind of
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  struggling to feel like life is good.
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  It's a real thing for people. I think the world feels heavy
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  for a lot of us. And if you are not carefully
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  monitoring your input, the things, the information that's
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  coming in, the things that you're allowing in boundaries,
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  the people you're surrounding yourself with, it can really
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  feel like a struggle to feel the joy and feel connected to people
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  in your life. But I also think that we are
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  living in a time where there is just immense amounts of
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  distraction and there's a lot of noise.
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  There's a lot of things that are pulling and tugging at our
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  attention, and that's also contributing to our lack of
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  connection. I think that it's contributing
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  to our inability to feel present in our life and to truly feel
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  the beautiful moments that are right in front of us.
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  You know, presence is probably one of the greatest gifts that
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  you can give to people. Your attention is an incredibly
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  valuable commodity. And I'm talking about real,
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  intentional, purposeful attention, the stuff that really
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  makes life meaningful. Not just you showing up
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  somewhere. Not just you half looking at
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  your spouse, half looking at your phone, not just you half
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  listening to your kids or scrolling while you're at a
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  business meeting. I'm talking about real,
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  intentional, purposeful presence and attention.
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  I was coaching with a client the other day and he was describing
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  the struggle that he's been going through lately.
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  His marriage is in total conflict.
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  He doesn't feel connected to his daughters.
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  He's not feeling satisfaction in his work.
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  His business partner is very unhappy with him.
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  And I asked him to describe to me how he was moving throughout
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  his day. Just describe a day-to-day, What
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  was it feeling like? What was he doing?
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  And he told me straight up that he was very inward focused, that
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  his main priority was getting to work, checking things off of his
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  To Do List and focusing on the next big achievement, the next
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  big project, the things he needed to do.
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  He said he didn't have a lot of patience for other people.
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  He was constantly feeling behind, like he wasn't able to
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  ever really catch up on anything or get ahead.
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  And so he was frustrated and short tempered most of the time.
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  When he got home from work, he immediately went to his office.
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  He would sit down for another hour or two of work and then
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  maybe have a short dinner with his family.
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  And then he would go out to his shop and work on his cars, the
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  projects that he quote, UN quote, really cared about.
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  And I asked him, when are you connecting with the people that
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  you love? Like when are you making time
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  for them? When are you having
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  conversations with them? And he said, I'm not, I'm not
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  really connecting with them at all.
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  And I said, what about the conversations with your wife?
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  And he said, I can't really remember the last real
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  conversation I had with my wife other than talking about
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  logistics. He said, I can't really say what
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  we've been even been talking about.
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  Everything's a little bit surface level, but he recognized
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  that his wife was not happy with him.
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  This was a big part of the conflict and the struggle that
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  he was dealing with. And so when we started digging
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  into all of this, it became very clear that this was a guy who
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  was really struggling to be present in his life.
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  For example, I asked him what he did yesterday.
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  Like the day before, He said he couldn't remember.
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  In fact, he said he couldn't really remember what he does any
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  of the days. He he described himself as
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  having a poor memory and that it was all kind of a blur.
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  And that was when it really clicked for him.
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  This idea of presence was the key to so much of the struggle
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  and conflict. He wasn't connecting with his
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  wife or his kids or his business partner because he wasn't
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  present with them. He was giving no intentional
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  energy or effort to the people around him.
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  There was no engagement and he couldn't remember his days.
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  They're all blurred to him because he was never present in
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  the moment. He was always thinking of the
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  next thing, always lost in his thoughts, in his head.
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  He was never in his body. He couldn't even remember what
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  the weather had been like that week.
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  And as he started to unravel some of this stuff, he was
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  feeling pretty down about it. And so we started thinking about
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  solutions and strategies. And I suggested that when he got
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  from home, from work, he sit down with his wife at their
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  kitchen table, no phones, and give her 10 minutes of
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  intentional engaged attention. Now, clearly 10 minutes is not a
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  lot of time, but we had to start somewhere.
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  And this was actually kind of a stretch for him.
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  So the goal was to give 10 minutes of intentional,
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  uninterrupted engaged attention. And that was going to be, that
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  was going to be a big effort. Within two weeks he came back
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  and he said that his entire relationship with his wife had
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  shifted. He was less short tempered, he
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  was less in his head, he was feeling more connected to his
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  wife. They were having less conflict
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  and that led to more connections in his other relationships and
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  more joy and more satisfaction in his day-to-day.
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  And this was happening in two weeks.
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  It sounds so simple. It sounds almost too good to be
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  true. And trust me, it blew my mind
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  when I heard this as well because how could something so
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  simple be such a big solution to seemingly very complex problems?
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  Because at the root of it, they aren't that complex at all.
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  You know, presence is about energy and people can feel you.
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  I say that all the time. People can feel you.
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  Your presence is your greatest gift to the people around you.
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  And the energy that you give creates the impact that you
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  have, and that impact becomes exponential and creates ripple
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  effects in other areas of your life.
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  It's so simple you can hardly believe it.
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  Right, I totally understand. Sometimes this stuff just
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  dumbfounds me because we think that we have to have complex
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  solutions to everything. And it's not true.
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  Presence isn't just for other people either.
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  Your presence is also for you. And it's because your presence
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  is what allows you to actually enjoy your life so that you
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  aren't just going through the motions and at the end of 5 or
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  10 or 15 years. You find yourself.
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  Thinking to yourself, where did this all go?
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  Where did all those years go? What was I doing all this time?
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  When we are present, we have the ability to soak in our
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  experiences with all five of our senses.
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  When we're always living in our head, in contrast, distracted by
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  our thoughts and stories and beliefs, always thinking ahead
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  to the next thing. We miss the beautiful moments.
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  We miss the opportunities to engage our five senses and
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  really be here now and really feel that aliveness.
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  And here's the truth team. I've been guilty of this so many
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  times in my life. It's very easy for me to get
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  lost in my head and in my thoughts.
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  It's just kind of the way that I am wired.
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  And there's moments when my wife will be looking at me across the
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  kitchen counter and say, hey, where'd you go?
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  And it's because without even realizing it, she's bringing to
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  my attention that I just stopped talking and I disappeared into
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  my head, into my mind, and I had a million thoughts in a matter
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  of minutes. And she's calling me back to
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  reality. So I get it.
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  It's easy to get caught up in the day-to-day stuff.
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  But the gift of your presence is also a tremendous gift to you.
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  It allows you to feel the gratitude and the appreciation
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  for what you've created in your life.
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  It allows you to see the evidence of all the wins that
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  you've had. It allows you to enjoy the
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  people around you, to bask in the beauty of these connections
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  that we have with all these incredible humans in our life.
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  It allows us to laugh, to be excited, to be joyful, to be
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  aware of this natural world around us and notice all the
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  small details of all the beautiful things that unfold.
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  It allows us to see the relationships and the
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  synchronicities and the little mundane things that are actually
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  really cool to witness. It's all those little moments
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  that catch you off guard. The simple stuff that nobody
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  else would really think is that cool, but it's it just lights
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  you up inside. Like seeing your spouse across
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  the kitchen putting dishes away and just looking so beautiful.
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  Or seeing your kids play together and share this moment
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  of kindness together. Or witnessing a moment of
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  vulnerability between two friends and seeing them connect
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  in that way. All of that stuff is really what
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  life is all about. And we really don't want to
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  shortchange ourselves. We don't want to withhold those
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  gifts from ourselves. So my challenge to you this week
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  is to find a way to practice your presence.
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  And this could look a dozen different ways.
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  Play a card game with your kids after dinner tonight.
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  Come home from work and have 10 to 15 minutes of intentional
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  conversation with your spouse. Drive to work with the music
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  off. Go for a walk and look at all
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  the trees around you. Do a 10 minute meditation
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  outside on your back deck. Do some stretching when you wake
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  up in the morning and just take some time to slowly start your
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  day. Sit on the couch with some of
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  your friends and drink a cup of coffee.
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  Whatever it takes, but give yourself the gift of presents so
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  that you can see those beautiful moments and soak them all in and
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  feel what life is really meant to feel like.
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  So that's all for today, short and sweet so that you can go out
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  and be present in your life. Take a few deep breaths and just
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  soak it all in. I really am so glad that you're
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  here listening. I appreciate you.
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  Thank you for being here and as always team, thank you for being
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  ready to impact. Thanks for listening to Impact.
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  Ready, I hope. Today's episode inspired you to
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  own your impact and recognize that you.
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  Are powerful. By elevating our energy and
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  awareness, we can create exponential change in this life.
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  If you enjoyed today's insights, share them with a friend and
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  subscribe to the show. For more I truly.
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  Appreciate you. Thanks again for being here.