Latest / Live Your Legacy / On the Other Side
Transcript
- 0:00SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Live Your Legacy.
- 0:04SPEAKER_00: Love every story holds the turning point.
- 0:08SPEAKER_00: And every turning point holds the power of legacy.
- 0:13SPEAKER_01: Grace and greetings, and welcome to Live Your Legacy.
- 0:19SPEAKER_01: My name is Patricia D.
- 0:22SPEAKER_01: Fordenberg, and this is a Mr.
- 0:24SPEAKER_01: Graham Production, a conversational podcast where we explore how life's defining moments shape the legacy we leave behind.
- 0:32SPEAKER_01: And again, I'm your host, also known as Patty from New York, and I am the founder and CEO of Mr.
- 0:39SPEAKER_01: Graham.
- 0:39SPEAKER_01: And as a grief consultant, my area of focus is a legacy, empowering you from grief to life to be remembered.
- 0:47SPEAKER_01: And this show is rooted in a simple truth.
- 0:49SPEAKER_01: Grief is not always about death.
- 0:51SPEAKER_01: Sometimes it comes through life's changes, losses, detours, and new beginnings.
- 0:56SPEAKER_01: And here we speak with entrepreneurs, authors, leaders, and creators who have turned turned life-defining moment into meaningful work and lasting contributions.
- 1:06SPEAKER_01: Because legacy is not only what we leave behind, it is also what we are shaping right now through vision, impact, and purpose.
- 1:13SPEAKER_01: And today we are doing a solo show.
- 1:16SPEAKER_01: Yes, because sometimes we have those two.
- 1:18SPEAKER_01: And in this thought-provoking solo episode of Live Your Legacy, as your host, I invite you to listen and reconsider what it means to move through grief and embrace change and rediscover life's possibilities, inspired by my latest article in Legacy Cafe newsletter, which is for grief recovery.
- 1:40SPEAKER_01: And with that, I'm gonna get right into it because the title of today's article is that I put out there.
- 1:47SPEAKER_01: And if you join the newsletter subscribers, it is complimentary.
- 1:53SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's a news article, and yes, it's for grief recovery.
- 1:57SPEAKER_01: However, it's not only grief of life, right?
- 2:01SPEAKER_01: I am a grief consultant of life, however, all the skills and tools and techniques and resources, they apply to grief of life, right?
- 2:11SPEAKER_01: And that's where it's all about.
- 2:14SPEAKER_01: And I offer things that work, and it may work for you, it may not work for you, but I encourage and invite you to try it out, and that's how you gain a deeper understanding.
- 2:28SPEAKER_01: And again, it you might try it out and say, hey, this isn't really working for me, but I think this might work for my sister, right?
- 2:39SPEAKER_01: Because is, and we're gonna talk about it in the article, it's not about abandonment, it's the next chapter, right?
- 2:46SPEAKER_01: It's the next chapter that's awaiting, and I do want to disclose that I'm not a certified grief consultant.
- 2:56SPEAKER_01: I am not a medical doctor, I am not a licensed therapist by choice.
- 3:03SPEAKER_01: I'm a grief consultant by choice because I talk about things that are outside the line.
- 3:11SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's my style.
- 3:12SPEAKER_01: I like to talk about the afterlife and what does it mean to you?
- 3:17SPEAKER_01: I like to talk about quantum mechanics, I like to talk about the books I read, the research, the testimonies, and all the stuff in between.
- 3:26SPEAKER_01: I invite you to come join me at our grief circles that we have, and they are inspiring.
- 3:34SPEAKER_01: And a lot of people say, Oh, I don't want to go to that, it's so heavy, I don't want to feel more sad.
- 3:41SPEAKER_01: Again, I invite you to call and take a seat because the testimonies that come from there are that people walk away feeling better than when they came in.
- 3:53SPEAKER_01: A lot of times, people also come in to lift somebody else up because they're in such a good space and they're like, you know what?
- 4:01SPEAKER_01: I want to share what worked for me, right?
- 4:05SPEAKER_01: And this is where I gain my tools and my and I use them and I apply them as skills, not only from the education I learned from becoming certified grid consultants, but also from these life testimonies.
- 4:19SPEAKER_01: Sometimes my own personal experiences, and again, I always reference going back to the shoe store.
- 4:25SPEAKER_01: Why do I talk about shoes so much?
- 4:27SPEAKER_01: I don't know, I just do.
- 4:29SPEAKER_01: And when we talk about a shoe store, you go into a shoe and we need the shoe.
- 4:35SPEAKER_01: And metaphorically, this is the shoe store is the recovery, right?
- 4:40SPEAKER_01: You want to get to recovery.
- 4:41SPEAKER_01: Recovery, what is recovery?
- 4:42SPEAKER_01: Recovery is a place where you can begin again.
- 4:45SPEAKER_01: Recovery is a place where there's peace, recovery is a place of just feeling better, right?
- 4:54SPEAKER_01: Can we associate recovery with those things?
- 4:57SPEAKER_01: Moving forward, movement.
- 4:59SPEAKER_01: Again, I could go down a rabbit hole real fast and I like it.
- 5:05SPEAKER_01: But the idea is I'll bring you back to the shoe store.
- 5:07SPEAKER_01: So the stew store, we're gonna now, it's a parable to recovery.
- 5:14SPEAKER_01: However, when people are going into a shoe store, not everybody's looking for a sneaker, right?
- 5:20SPEAKER_01: Not everybody's looking for a boot.
- 5:22SPEAKER_01: Some people are looking for high heels, some people are looking for sandals.
- 5:27SPEAKER_01: And I meet you where you are, right?
- 5:29SPEAKER_01: I meet you where you are, and I will ask you, what are you planning to go with your shoes?
- 5:35SPEAKER_01: Again, metaphorically here, people, and stay with me, but that's the idea, okay?
- 5:41SPEAKER_01: And when I gain an understanding of where you're at, I'll guide you, I'll guide you to where I think would be a right fit.
- 5:48SPEAKER_01: And again, it you might say, you know what, I don't like any of these shoes.
- 5:52SPEAKER_01: I'm going to do another shoe store.
- 5:53SPEAKER_01: And that's okay too.
- 5:55SPEAKER_01: That's the beautiful part about this world that's so abundant.
- 5:59SPEAKER_01: We have choices.
- 6:00SPEAKER_01: So I invite you today, again, to go to let me bring it up here.
- 6:05SPEAKER_01: Did I have it?
- 6:06SPEAKER_01: Do I have it?
- 6:07SPEAKER_01: Yes, I do.
- 6:08SPEAKER_01: Yeah, here we go.
- 6:10SPEAKER_01: Mr.Gram.com.
- 6:12SPEAKER_01: You can subscribe again.
- 6:13SPEAKER_01: Complimentary newsletter.
- 6:16SPEAKER_01: I invite you.
- 6:17SPEAKER_01: And there's also a shop too.
- 6:20SPEAKER_01: If you're wanting to send a grievance gift and you're like overwhelmed if you go to Amazon, right there.
- 6:27SPEAKER_01: I have just a collection, handful, really.
- 6:30SPEAKER_01: I probably should add more.
- 6:32SPEAKER_01: I do have an array of recommendations as an Amazon affiliate.
- 6:38SPEAKER_01: However, on the shop here in the website, you will find a handful of the go-to grievance gifts, if you will.
- 6:50SPEAKER_01: And then there's a couple of items that I also offer.
- 6:53SPEAKER_01: But today I want to talk about the article and narrate it for you.
- 6:58SPEAKER_01: And I'm gonna share the screen.
- 7:01SPEAKER_01: That's what you'll get here when you land on mrgram.com.
- 7:07SPEAKER_01: And that's miss hyphen, the letter U, hyphensgram.com.
- 7:14SPEAKER_01: And here I'm gonna scroll up so you can see the visual.
- 7:18SPEAKER_01: Here's the visual for the article that we will be talking about today.
- 7:23SPEAKER_01: And it's titled On the Other Side.
- 7:27SPEAKER_01: Again, this is Legacy Cafe Newsletter, a Greek recovery, written by yours truly, Patty from New York.
- 7:38SPEAKER_01: Now, before we go there, let me check this out over here.
- 7:42SPEAKER_01: Uh this we got the show too.
- 7:46SPEAKER_01: So come visit the show if you wanna visit us on multiple platforms.
- 7:50SPEAKER_01: Pick your favorite platform if you would like to be a guest.
- 7:54SPEAKER_01: There's also be a guest link, so I invite you there too.
- 7:58SPEAKER_01: But let's go back here and this is where we are.
- 8:01SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna give you a full visual of this article.
- 8:06SPEAKER_01: Full visual.
- 8:08SPEAKER_01: It's a little smaller play around for all those people who are listening.
- 8:15SPEAKER_01: Thank you for staying with us.
- 8:18SPEAKER_01: And today's newsletter on the other side.
- 8:22SPEAKER_01: When we hear the word on the other side, where does a mind wander?
- 8:27SPEAKER_01: Perhaps to the mysteries of life after death, the uncertainty of what lies beyond our final breath, or the age-old question, what awaits us when this earthly journey ends?
- 8:43SPEAKER_01: And these are conversations worth having, filled with wonder, contemplation, faith, and sometimes fear.
- 8:50SPEAKER_01: But today I invite you to consider another interpretation, one that is not about the other side of death, but rather the other side of grief.
- 9:00SPEAKER_01: And there is something profoundly human about wanting to know what comes next.
- 9:04SPEAKER_01: We want reassurance that the suffering will subside, that our broken hearts will find peace, and that the weight we carry today will somehow become lighter tomorrow.
- 9:15SPEAKER_01: Yet grief has an interesting way of convincing us what we feel in the present is what we will feel forever.
- 9:23SPEAKER_01: And when sorrow becomes familiar, even the possibility of happiness can feel unfamiliar and perhaps even frightening.
- 9:31SPEAKER_01: I have often wondered how many people remain in the shadows of grief, not because they're incapable of moving forward, but because they cannot yet imagine what moving forward might look like.
- 9:43SPEAKER_01: And who could blame them?
- 9:45SPEAKER_01: When we lose somebody or something meaningful, our world changes.
- 9:49SPEAKER_01: The routines, the expectations, the conversations, and sometimes even our own sense of identity are no longer they once were.
- 9:59SPEAKER_01: We're asking questions that may not have immediate answers.
- 10:04SPEAKER_01: Will I ever feel my like myself again?
- 10:08SPEAKER_01: Will I ever laugh without feeling guilty?
- 10:11SPEAKER_01: How can I embrace tomorrow when yesterday meant so much to me?
- 10:15SPEAKER_01: And perhaps one of the most heartbreaking questions of all, if I begin to recover, does that somehow mean that I'm leaving my old loved ones behind?
- 10:26SPEAKER_01: The answer is no.
- 10:27SPEAKER_01: Recovery is not about abandonment, it is the opportunity to carry love forward without requiring sorrow to carry it for us.
- 10:36SPEAKER_01: Okay?
- 10:37SPEAKER_01: We don't need sorrow, we just don't.
- 10:39SPEAKER_01: It's gonna happen and it's part of life, but we don't need it to keep holding that, okay?
- 10:46SPEAKER_01: Trusting what we cannot yet see.
- 10:49SPEAKER_01: We have all heard of the familiar trust the process.
- 10:53SPEAKER_01: Three little words that can sound almost insulting when we're standing in the middle of heartbreak, trust the process, the sleepless nights, the unexpected tears, the memories that arrive without warning, the empty chair at the table.
- 11:10SPEAKER_01: I understand the frustration behind those words, and trust is difficult when the future feels uncertain and the present seems unbearable.
- 11:19SPEAKER_01: Yet there is wisdom when those expressions not seen.
- 11:23SPEAKER_01: Not because time magically repairs every wound, but because recovery becomes possible when we begin participating in our own healing by choice.
- 11:35SPEAKER_01: Research into grief and resilience has shown that people can adapt following profound loss.
- 11:42SPEAKER_01: Although the experience is deeply individual and rarely follows a predictable timeline, some discover renewed purpose, stronger relationships, or even a different appreciation of life.
- 11:56SPEAKER_01: Others require more time, support, or guidance.
- 12:00SPEAKER_01: That's right.
- 12:00SPEAKER_01: Come check out Patty, and I'll guide you through that.
- 12:04SPEAKER_01: There is no universal schedule, nor is recovery measured by how quickly someone stops crying.
- 12:12SPEAKER_01: But there is something worth considering.
- 12:14SPEAKER_01: What happens when we begin making room for what is, rather than continually resisting what cannot be changed?
- 12:23SPEAKER_01: I talk about this all the time because there's two ways to go, right?
- 12:27SPEAKER_01: Either you're going towards something or away from something.
- 12:30SPEAKER_01: You're either resisting or going with it.
- 12:34SPEAKER_01: Resistance can become exhausting.
- 12:36SPEAKER_01: We revisit conversations, negotiate with memories, imagine different outcomes, and rehearse scenarios that may never come to fruition.
- 12:46SPEAKER_01: Our minds create stories about futures we have not lived, convincing us that the unknown must somehow be worse than the familiar.
- 12:55SPEAKER_01: And yet, how can we know what awaits us on the other side if we have already decided what we'll find there?
- 13:03SPEAKER_01: Perhaps the invitation is not to have every answer, but to make room for a different possibility.
- 13:10SPEAKER_01: Gratitude is a bridge toward recovery.
- 13:13SPEAKER_01: I believe one of the most powerful practices we can introduce into our recovery is gratitude.
- 13:20SPEAKER_01: Now, I'm not suggesting that we should be grateful for every circumstance, particularly those that have caused profound suffering, nor am I suggesting that gratitude erases heartbreak.
- 13:31SPEAKER_01: That would be a disservice to the depth of human emotion.
- 13:35SPEAKER_01: Let's get real here.
- 13:36SPEAKER_01: Rather, gratitude allows us to shift, I talk about this all the time, shift our attention from what is missing to what is still existing along the missing.
- 13:47SPEAKER_01: Okay?
- 13:47SPEAKER_01: We can grieve a life that has ended while remaining grateful for the love that life brought us.
- 13:54SPEAKER_01: We can mourn experiences that will never return while appreciating the memories that remain.
- 14:00SPEAKER_01: No one take that away from you.
- 14:01SPEAKER_01: We can acknowledge the darkness of a difficult season while recognizing that even the smallest moments of the light deserve our attention.
- 14:10SPEAKER_01: And think about the first unexpected smile after a season of sorrow, or perhaps it happens during a conversation with a friend, while hearing a familiar song, or while watching something wonderfully ordinary unfold before your eyes.
- 14:27SPEAKER_01: For a fleeting moment, joy does return.
- 14:31SPEAKER_01: And just as quickly, guilt may follow.
- 14:34SPEAKER_01: So how could I smile when I have lost so much?
- 14:38SPEAKER_01: But what if that smile was not a betrayal of your grief?
- 14:42SPEAKER_01: What if it was evidence that love and joy still has a place in your life?
- 14:47SPEAKER_01: Gratitude does not compete with grief, it creates space for life to exist alongside it.
- 14:55SPEAKER_01: And then there's wonderment, my favorite, something we often overlook as adults, especially when life has disappointed us.
- 15:04SPEAKER_01: Wonderment asks us to remain curious about what we have, what we have yet to experience.
- 15:11SPEAKER_01: It invites us to consider that perhaps tomorrow holds a conversation we needed, an unexpected opportunity, a new friendship, or a moment of peace we did not think possible.
- 15:24SPEAKER_01: When gratitude anchors us in what remains in wonderment opens us to what may come.
- 15:31SPEAKER_01: We create a beautiful partnership between the present and the future.
- 15:35SPEAKER_01: It's a bridge.
- 15:36SPEAKER_01: One reminds us that life still holds value, and the other reminds us that the story is still unfolding.
- 15:43SPEAKER_01: Together they can become a bridge toward life, love, and recovery.
- 15:49SPEAKER_01: The other side of thinking.
- 15:51SPEAKER_01: We live in a world of duality.
- 15:53SPEAKER_01: Talk about this all the time.
- 15:55SPEAKER_01: There's day and night, joy and sorrow, beginning and ending.
- 16:00SPEAKER_01: And we cannot fully control circumstances that enter our lives.
- 16:04SPEAKER_01: Really, that's impossible.
- 16:06SPEAKER_01: But we can begin to examine the meaning we assign to them.
- 16:10SPEAKER_01: Fear often encourages us to project ourselves into a future that has not arrived.
- 16:16SPEAKER_01: We anticipate disappointment, imagine rejection, or convince ourselves that our best days are behind us.
- 16:23SPEAKER_01: In doing so, we sometimes suffer twice, once from what has actually happened, and again from what we fear might happen.
- 16:33SPEAKER_01: And consider how often we complete a story before life has finished writing it.
- 16:37SPEAKER_01: We assume that because today is difficult, tomorrow must be difficult.
- 16:41SPEAKER_01: We believe that because someone is gone, our capacity for joy has departed.
- 16:47SPEAKER_01: We imagine that accepting change means surrendering everything we once cherished.
- 16:53SPEAKER_01: But assumptions are not outcomes, and fear is not prophecy.
- 16:58SPEAKER_01: And what if we allowed ourselves the gift of not knowing?
- 17:04SPEAKER_01: That's right.
- 17:06SPEAKER_01: Being comfortable with saying, I don't know.
- 17:08SPEAKER_01: What if instead of approaching the unknown as something to fear, we approach it with curiosity?
- 17:15SPEAKER_01: There is an important difference between acknowledging that tomorrow may bring challenges and deciding in advance that tomorrow holds no promise.
- 17:24SPEAKER_01: One is awareness, the other can become a prison of our own making.
- 17:30SPEAKER_01: And sometimes the first step toward the other side is simply opening the door.
- 17:35SPEAKER_01: From grief to legacy, as a Greek recovery consultant, my area of focus is legacy, and I often refer to legacy as the light at the end of the tunnel, the seventh stage in the framework I share through my work.
- 17:51SPEAKER_01: And not because legacy is universally recognized as a final stage of grief, but because I believe it offers us meaningful destination beyond merely surviving our losses.
- 18:02SPEAKER_01: Legacy invites us to ask a different question rather than asking only, how do I live without what I have lost, right?
- 18:12SPEAKER_01: Without what was lost, we can begin asking, how can I honor what was while embracing what is still possible?
- 18:21SPEAKER_01: And this is where transformation begins.
- 18:24SPEAKER_01: And perhaps you honor someone through a story or an act of service.
- 18:29SPEAKER_01: Perhaps your legacy takes shape through rebuilding your confidence, reconnecting with others, or discovering a purpose that once seemed unimaginable.
- 18:39SPEAKER_01: Sometimes legacy is a grand undertaking, other times it is as simple as getting out of bed, opening up the curtains, or deciding that today deserves a chance.
- 18:51SPEAKER_01: There is no requirement that your next chapter resembles your previous one.
- 18:56SPEAKER_01: And there's also no requirement that the love you carry must remain attached to the pain that you endured.
- 19:04SPEAKER_01: And it is hard, it really is.
- 19:06SPEAKER_01: But again, power is in your hands.
- 19:09SPEAKER_01: Our loved ones, our experiences and the lessons of yesterday can remain part of who we are without preventing us from becoming who we are to be.
- 19:22SPEAKER_01: This to me is the beauty of legacy.
- 19:24SPEAKER_01: It does not ask us to erase history, it empowers us to give the history continued meaning.
- 19:30SPEAKER_01: And when we begin to recognize that possibly the other side is no longer feels quite so distant.
- 19:38SPEAKER_01: So what awaits on the other side.
- 19:51SPEAKER_01: But I do believe that recovery offers something grief alone cannot: a renewed relationship with possibility.
- 19:59SPEAKER_01: And the possibility of laughing again, loving again, trusting again, finding meaning again, and perhaps most importantly, recognizing ourselves again, even if the person we become is different from the one we once knew.
- 20:16SPEAKER_01: We may always carry the memory of our losses, certain anniversaries, familiar places, and unexpected moments may continue to stir up emotions, but carrying grief does not mean we must remain confined within it.
- 20:31SPEAKER_01: There is room for both remembrance and renewal.
- 20:34SPEAKER_01: So when you find yourself standing at the edge of uncertainty, wondering whether you have strength to continue, remember that you do.
- 20:43SPEAKER_01: And you do not need to see the entire journey to take the next step.
- 20:48SPEAKER_01: Allow what cannot be changed, acknowledged what still hurts, rest in gratitude for what remains, and leave a little room for wonderment about what has yet to arrive.
- 21:00SPEAKER_01: Because on the other side of grief, there can be more than survival.
- 21:05SPEAKER_01: There can be peace, purpose, renewed love, and life is still worth being lived.
- 21:12SPEAKER_01: The other side is not necessarily a place where grief ends.
- 21:16SPEAKER_01: It can be the place where grief no longer determines where your story goes next.
- 21:20SPEAKER_01: And perhaps that is where recovery truly begins.
- 21:24SPEAKER_01: A gentle invitation.
- 21:26SPEAKER_01: Today I invite you to consider one simple possibility.
- 21:31SPEAKER_01: What if the other side of your grief holds something beautiful that you have yet to discover?
- 21:36SPEAKER_01: Take a moment to rest in gratitude for something that remains meaningful in your life, however small tomorrow may bring.
- 21:44SPEAKER_01: You may then allow yourself a little wonderment about the gifts that are on the other side.
- 21:52SPEAKER_01: And that's tomorrow.
- 21:53SPEAKER_01: You do not need to have all the answers, nor do you need to rush your recovery.
- 21:58SPEAKER_01: Simply make room for the possibility that life still has something wonderful to offer.
- 22:05SPEAKER_01: Honor what was, embrace what is, and remain open to what is yet to be.
- 22:11SPEAKER_01: And a thought to carry forward, gratitude honors what remains.
- 22:16SPEAKER_01: Wonderment welcomes what may come, and recovery gives us permission to embrace both.
- 22:24SPEAKER_01: I invite you also to check out my guidebook.
- 22:28SPEAKER_01: And today, if today's reflection resonates with you, live your legacy available on Amazon.
- 22:36SPEAKER_01: And going to the conversation, again, I invite you for one to make some comments here.
- 22:43SPEAKER_01: Let's see who's clicking in.
- 22:44SPEAKER_01: Hello, my friend.
- 22:46SPEAKER_01: Hello from Texas.
- 22:47SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
- 22:47SPEAKER_01: She was a prior guest, and again, if you want to be a guest on our show, here you go.
- 22:52SPEAKER_01: Come to Live Your Legacy.
- 22:56SPEAKER_01: Livelegacy.
- 22:59SPEAKER_01: Find that.
- 22:59SPEAKER_01: Live Legacy D there we go.
- 23:03SPEAKER_01: VIP.
- 23:03SPEAKER_01: What's VIP?
- 23:04SPEAKER_01: It's also very important.
- 23:05SPEAKER_01: Yes, very important.
- 23:08SPEAKER_01: But it's for vision, impact, and purpose.
- 23:11SPEAKER_01: There, because that's what the show is about.
- 23:13SPEAKER_01: And I appreciate the comments.
- 23:15SPEAKER_01: I appreciate all the support for the show as we move forward into tomorrow.
- 23:21SPEAKER_01: God willing.
- 23:21SPEAKER_01: Thank you for listening.
- 23:23SPEAKER_01: And don't forget to hit the button, leave a five-star review, and you could find us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcast.
- 23:36SPEAKER_01: And remember, recovery is not abandonment.
- 23:39SPEAKER_01: And the other side of grief may be where your next chapter begins.
- 23:43SPEAKER_01: And with that being said, until next time, live your legacy.
- 23:48SPEAKER_01: God bless.
- 23:49SPEAKER_00: And every turning corner holds the power of legacy.
- 23:54SPEAKER_00: Every stone, every stone, every stone swimming, the result, the sun.