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Bonus IMPROV - I'm Going To Wish That You Are Cured · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  welcome to very fine friends i mean like the kids gather around the fireplace get a warm cup of cocoa
• 0:25
  and settle in with a blanket
• 0:29
  because it's time for some bonus improv.
• 0:36
  Joe, could you please feed us a suggestion
• 0:41
  inside of a gingerbread cookie?
• 0:44
  Mm-hmm, coming right up.
• 0:47
  Your sweet little suggestion is unfair.
• 0:52
  Unfair.
• 0:53
  well Francis I feel like
• 0:55
  you probably have a lot of thoughts on this
• 0:58
  I have been
• 1:00
  frequently wronged
• 1:01
  a lot of things in life are unfair
• 1:04
  you know
• 1:04
  that's very true
• 1:06
  I think the concept of fairness
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  is just something we made up
• 1:10
  oh totally
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  and it's all I mean
• 1:13
  you know like as a wise man
• 1:16
  once said
• 1:17
  you never know what your bad luck
• 1:20
  what worst luck your bad luck saved you from
• 1:22
  wow that is good so deep right oh i know
• 1:25
  that was like a season one callback yeah um we doing seasons by the way sure we're seasoned
• 1:36
  yes we're doing seasons because seasons because we're seasoned um but yeah i know that the idea
• 1:43
  of fairness is like you never know like you look at somebody's life and you're you want it and then
• 1:51
  suddenly they get cancer or something.
• 1:54
  I don't know.
• 1:55
  I think that a lot.
• 1:59
  I knew someone who like had like the,
• 2:01
  like I was so jealous of their life and yeah,
• 2:03
  they got cancer and passed away.
• 2:05
  Yeah.
• 2:06
  Actually.
• 2:07
  Yeah.
• 2:08
  Not just for the bod.
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  And she was like a really,
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  and she was like a really nice person too.
• 2:15
  Super kind.
• 2:17
  Wow.
• 2:18
  That's not,
• 2:19
  that's unfair.
• 2:20
  Yeah.
• 2:20
  Just goes to show you, anything can happen at any time to anyone.
• 2:23
  Yep.
• 2:24
  I mean, she must be nice.
• 2:26
  She did that for the pod.
• 2:28
  I know.
• 2:28
  That's true.
• 2:29
  And we hadn't even existed yet.
• 2:30
  She just said she had an inkling.
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  She's new.
• 2:32
  Yeah.
• 2:32
  She saw me and she was like, one day.
• 2:35
  You're going to need to relay the story.
• 2:38
  Yeah.
• 2:38
  And you have to say something about fairness.
• 2:41
  Okay.
• 2:42
  I rarely hear of someone I hate having something bad befall them.
• 2:46
  What's up with that?
• 2:49
  Yeah.
• 2:50
  Yeah well do yeah I trying to think of a good example you know you have like you have someone like oh like oh dick cheney dead great like but he lived for a very long time
• 3:07
  he seemed to have gotten everything that he wanted out of life
• 3:11
  yeah i think we're all too like civilized like we're not like a primitive species anymore so we
• 3:19
  don't settle settle interpersonal disputes with violence so we would rather acquiesce to people
• 3:26
  that are being bullies or like tyrannical rather than like get in a physical confrontation which
• 3:33
  is why like the moniker of like bad things happen to good people i guess well also we live in a like
• 3:40
  tyrannical police state where like there's also consequences for doling out
• 3:48
  justice,
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  even if it's justified.
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  It's like you deserve punishment,
• 3:54
  but also I need to go to work.
• 3:57
  So I can't be going to jail now.
• 3:59
  And now improv.
• 4:08
  Veronica.
• 4:09
  Hey,
• 4:10
  veronica hold on okay what i just i wanted to tell you i know you wanted the lead in the school
• 4:21
  play and i know that i got it and i know you were working really hard at it yeah and i'm sorry i
• 4:30
  know that that's very unfair yeah thank you for saying that because it is go on and i just wanted
• 4:37
  to let you know i've made it all better i gave myself cancer just even the playing field a little
• 4:45
  bit i'm so sorry that so now we're even i get the lead in the school play but well now i feel
• 4:53
  terrible because i wish you would get it um wait what well before you gave it to yourself from
• 5:00
  for the for me i did it for you but i but i got it for you for you veronica i but i didn't make it
• 5:09
  fair veronica i got it for you but i didn't know when i wished it on you that you were gonna do
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  that did you really think i was so terrible of a person that i wouldn't give myself cancer to
• 5:21
  make things fair i was upset my emotions were rolling around in me like a wave on an ocean i
• 5:27
  was mad. I'm gonna say it.
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  I'm gonna say it. The fact that you can't
• 5:31
  control your emotions is the reason that you didn't
• 5:34
  get the lead in the school play.
• 5:36
  Yeah.
• 5:38
  I'm so sorry. Emotions
• 5:39
  is what acting's all about. Okay, stop.
• 5:41
  Mrs. Duncan said she couldn't trust you
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  to control your emotions on stage
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  and that's why she couldn't cast you.
• 5:47
  She told you that? She told me that, of course.
• 5:49
  She tells her ingenue everything Inapropes Inapropes I sorry You just jealous that you don have the same kind of relationship Mrs Duncan that I have I going to prove to you that I emotionally stable
• 6:02
  When I go home tonight, I'm going to wish that you are cured.
• 6:06
  Don't you dare.
• 6:07
  Yeah.
• 6:07
  Don't you unlevel that playing field.
• 6:09
  Your stupid cancer's going away.
• 6:10
  No, don't you dare.
• 6:12
  Yeah, and then life's going to be unfair again.
• 6:13
  I'm going to take it fine.
• 6:15
  No.
• 6:16
  No.
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  Yes.
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  You better not, Veronica.
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  Yes.
• 6:18
  Yes.
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  Oh my God.
• 6:20
  And then Mrs. Duncan is going to confide in me and she's going to.
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  Oh, she better not.
• 6:26
  And she'll be like, you're my ingenue.
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  No.
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  And I'll be like, don't tell her that because she can't handle it.
• 6:31
  Well, then you're going to have to get cancer.
• 6:34
  I'll do whatever I have to do.
• 6:38
  Cut to three days later.
• 6:40
  Bronica, can I speak to you a moment?
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  Hold on.
• 6:43
  Okay, go ahead.
• 6:46
  I just got back from my oncologist.
• 6:48
  Oh, you did?
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  Yeah.
• 6:49
  Oh, that's interesting.
• 6:50
  What did they have to say?
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  Uh, he said it was like a miracle or something, but my cancer is gone.
• 6:56
  You bitch.
• 6:57
  The cancer left?
• 6:59
  The cancer is gone.
• 7:00
  Maybe it couldn't stand you.
• 7:02
  What did you do to my level playing field?
• 7:06
  I undid it, biznatch.
• 7:08
  No.
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  I went home and I did what I did and now you're here.
• 7:11
  No, I can't live with this guilt of being better than you.
• 7:15
  Shocker, you're going to live because the cancer's gone.
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  No, no.
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  You know what?
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  Oh, I don't feel good.
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  Wait, no.
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  Didn't I tell you?
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  No, don't you dare.
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  Oh, this is hard to say.
• 7:27
  Don't you dare.
• 7:29
  I am riddled.
• 7:30
  And I mean riddled with cancer.
• 7:32
  Don't you know.
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  Every cell.
• 7:34
  Yep.
• 7:35
  Veronica, what have you done?
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  It's like honeycombs in there.
• 7:38
  No.
• 7:39
  And guess what Mrs. Duncan said?
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  No.
• 7:41
  She said she's going to plan my funeral after the show, which she's sure is going to be great.
• 7:47
  Well, the joke's on you.
• 7:49
  What?
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  Because now the playing field is no longer level.
• 7:52
  Now you're above me.
• 7:54
  Ha ha ha.
• 7:55
  Deal with that guilt.
• 7:57
  Oh.
• 7:58
  Now you have the advantage.
• 8:00
  You have Mrs. Duncan.
• 8:03
  You have the honeycomb cancer.
• 8:04
  You've got everything.
• 8:05
  And I'm just healthy.
• 8:09
  Well, I guess we're each just going to have to live with that.
• 8:13
  No, we can't.
• 8:15
  Hmm.
• 8:16
  Cut to the next day.
• 8:20
  Beep.
• 8:22
  Sorry, that's my cancer machine.
• 8:25
  Yeah, I know what it is.
• 8:27
  I had one as of four days ago, and I don't anymore thanks to you.
• 8:31
  I know, I saw your name scribbled on it under checked out.
• 8:34
  Well, I got some news for you.
• 8:36
  Oh.
• 8:37
  I leveled the playing field on your behalf.
• 8:40
  Is that even man?
• 8:43
  What?
• 8:43
  What is that even man?
• 8:46
  What is that even men I tell you what it means Sorry I L Got on When was the last time you spoke to your parents This morning Okay They kissed me they told me they loved me and they proud of me
• 9:00
  Yeah, well, that's the last thing they've ever said to you
• 9:03
  What?
• 9:05
  That's right
• 9:05
  What do you mean?
• 9:06
  I cut the brakes on their car
• 9:08
  They were in a terrible accident and they're gone now
• 9:11
  So now you are disadvantaged
• 9:13
  Wait
• 9:14
  You leveled the playing field
• 9:17
  Leveled again
• 9:18
  No
• 9:18
  You have Mrs. Duncan
• 9:20
  But no parents
• 9:21
  But the
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  You dumb bitch
• 9:25
  The playing field
• 9:26
  Is still wildly unlevel
• 9:28
  No
• 9:29
  You're just making me more
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  Bad
• 9:33
  Things are bad for me
• 9:34
  You didn't make anything
• 9:35
  Don't you see what you've done?
• 9:37
  You took Mrs. Duncan from me
• 9:39
  I took your parents from you
• 9:41
  Okay fine
• 9:41
  You eye for an eye that
• 9:43
  I'm pretty sure this is a level playing field
• 9:46
  No
• 9:47
  Oh great, so you're smarter than me too
• 9:49
  That's another one up that you have on me
• 9:52
  What else should I take from you, Veronica?
• 9:55
  There's nothing left to take
• 9:56
  Give me your hair
• 9:59
  No
• 10:03
  I will need it shortly
• 10:05
  I know, because of your chemo
• 10:07
  You can apologize for everything you've done
• 10:10
  And we can be friends again
• 10:11
  and you can do the play bald and I'll know and I'll know.
• 10:19
  And then we're even.
• 10:22
  And then we're even.
• 10:24
  Here's the wall.
• 10:28
  W-A-H-L.
• 10:30
  Ah.
• 10:31
  Yes.
• 10:33
  Thank you.
• 10:34
  You're welcome.
• 10:35
  As you know, I'm much smarter.
• 10:37
  Yeah, I know.
• 10:38
  And you know things about brands that I don't know about.
• 10:40
  Yeah, it's fully charged.
• 10:42
  Good. All right.
• 10:43
  Take it all off in one fell swoop so it remains wig-like.
• 10:52
  Wow.
• 10:53
  There. Now I'm bald. Are you happy?
• 10:55
  Yes, I'm happy.
• 10:57
  Great.
• 10:57
  Now go do your show.
• 10:59
  I'm going to.
• 11:00
  Okay.
• 11:01
  Cut to the day after the show.
• 11:04
  Do you see, Veronica?
• 11:05
  Do you see what the school paper said about the play?
• 11:08
  Oh.
• 11:10
  I'm sorry, I know this is going to be hard for you.
• 11:14
  She's dead.
• 11:16
  I'm just wheeling her around school like she would have wanted.
• 11:20
  She wanted me to tell you something.
• 11:22
  What?
• 11:23
  She said you were magnificent in the show.
• 11:28
  You stupid dead bitch!
• 11:33
  Scene.
• 11:40
  you