Latest / Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home / Brett Gilliland - Building A Life By Design

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Brett Gilliland - Building A Life By Design · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, I'm Rex, and I'm Ryder.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_04: And this is my dad's job.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_04: Hey everybody, it's KCJ Cox with the Quarterback DadCast.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_04: Welcome to Season 6.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_04: And I cannot be more excited to have you join me for another year of fantastic episodes of conversations with unscripted and raw and authentic conversations with dads.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_04: If you're new to this podcast, it's simple.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_04: It's a podcast where we interview dads, we learn about how they were arrays, we learn about the life lessons that were important to them, we learn about the values that are important to them, and really we learn about how we can work hard to become a better quarterback or leader of our home.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_04: So let's sit back, relax, and listen to today's episode of Quarterback Podcast.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_04: Everybody is host of the podcast.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_04: This episode was actually posted a while many months ago, and I just realized it was everyone out.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_04: And I just realized that so we're gonna get two episodes this weekend six episodes.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_04: So I waited to step back, relax, and listen to this episode with one role for I deal with.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_04: His name, he only comes to us from the fantastic Nick Hutchinson, who's gonna be a future guest on the podcast from BookThinker.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_04: So thank you, Nick, for making today's um connection happen.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_04: But his name is Brett Gilliland.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_04: Um he's the CEO and founder of Visionary Wealth Advisors.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_04: Um I I've actually ended up doing some work in the wealth management space, and when I met him, when I met Brett, it was apparent why he's uh been a successful founder-led and uh in in that space because of how he just interacts, treats people, and you're gonna hear it in his voice here in a second.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_04: He also is the host of the Circuit of Success podcast, where I had uh the luxury of being a guest.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_04: Great, great podcast because we check it out.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_04: Some really, really fantastic people.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_04: Um, he might be Billy the Panther.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_04: I'm not sure if that's true, but we're gonna find out.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_04: But more importantly, he's a dad.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_04: And we're gonna learn about Brett on how, on specifically how he was raised, how he's working hard to become that ultimate quarterback or leader of his home.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_04: So without further ado, Mr.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_04: Gilan, welcome to the quarterback deck cast.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: Hey man, thanks for having me.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's awesome to uh get the roles reversed here.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_01: So looking forward to it.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_04: Are you Billy the Panther?
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: I am not Billy the Panther, unfortunately.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_04: Um, that's the only that's the only research I do before episodes.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_04: I love researching mascots for people to college.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not our claim to fame, though, for EIU, you being a football player, is Mike Shanahan coached Sean Payton at Eastern Illinois University, the Eastern Illinois University.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: Sean Payton broke all the records.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_01: Tony Romo comes around, he was there when I was there.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: We get to play a lot of basketball together.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: So Tony broke all of Sean Payton's records, and then Jimmy Garoppolo comes along, breaks all of Tony Romo's records.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't know, man.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: Jim Dance was just talking about it the other about two Sundays ago.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: Pretty cool.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_04: The the elite quarterback fraternity out of the Eastern Illinois University.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_04: Um my mighty central Washington Wildcats.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_04: I I think I actually dropped the word elite.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_04: I think I screwed that up because but there was we had some guys too, like John Kitten that played in the league, kind of Mike Riley who played in the CFL for years.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_04: Um there's a bunch of quarterbacks that made it.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_04: Um I decided to choose the business path because I just didn't want to play Pro Ball.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_04: Heavy sarcasm.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_04: I wish I would have got played.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_04: Um well, cool.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_04: Well, we always start out each episode with gratitude.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_04: Um, Brett, so tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today?
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'm uh grateful just for my family, man.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's um yeah, I got four boys.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: I got one that just went to college and in the spring, uh, I'm sorry, in the fall.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: So he is uh back.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_01: You know, he's on a he was on a 39-day break for Christmas and uh just went back, so he's four days into school and uh had some good conversations with him already.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: So thankful for that.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: Thankful for my uh my junior, my uh freshman in high school, my fifth grader.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: We just got done coaching basketball for him.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so grateful for that, man, and grateful for my my wife, uh, who is about 30 feet that way.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, we're working on a another new business that we're building together, and and and it's been a lot of fun.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: So just grateful for my family, and then great, grateful for the upbringing I had with my mom and dad.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: They uh set a good tone for that and uh showed me what family was about and uh able to do that with my family.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_04: Love it, man.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_04: I'm I'm already let the curious alarms are going off, but I got to get to my gratitude, and I'm gonna ask you a question about about your oldest.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_04: Um so what I'm most grateful for um today, it's top of mind because someone asked me it earlier, and it just I want to really want to kind of like resit in it for me, is um I have a I have a freshman college too, and just the fact I mean I've we have a I'm on Snapchat with him now.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_04: I think I've shared this with people before.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_04: We have like a 160-something day Snapstreak where it's it's not like and I thought I'd never be on Snapchat.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_04: And for people who've heard this story, apologize and tell it again.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_04: But like it, it's just like you I either can let my ego get in the way and like, I'm not doing that, or if it meets my son where he's at and that's how he wants the message, and if it helps me create a better connection, then he'll he's but he's picking up the phone to call me more now.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and I'm just grateful that like my relationship with him and my wife's the same way with him.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_04: It's not like, ah, geez, my mom and dad are calling me.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_04: What they're such tools.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_04: It's like, no, we're like, it's like almost a buddy and like a hey, what do you he's like asking us for advice, or hey, when you had freshman in college, what was this like?
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_04: And like I'm like all the hard work that we went through from zero to 18.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_04: I feel like it's like paying off and it makes me want to like double down to just stay present, keep listening.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_04: How can we support you?
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_04: Um, you're gonna have to do the work, but like we're here to support you.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_04: So I'm just grateful for like the phase of life I'm at and the relationships we're developing specifically with my son, which is the best.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: That's cool, that's awesome.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_04: So I didn't I don't know if I remember us talking about that when I was on your show, but like, so you you you went through we went through the same stuff together.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_04: I was a disaster.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: The allergies were really, really acting up the day we dropped him off.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_01: The allergies, the guy cutting up all the onions in the corner.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: Lots of onions were being cut.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: My wife kept us together.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: Dude, I did like I was like fighting the ugly cry.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: Like I barely was able to say goodbye to him.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: It was bad.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_04: I couldn't, I couldn't say goodbye to his girlfriend.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_04: I was like, yeah, she said so.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, I couldn't say the name.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, I'm like, yeah, lost my voice.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: We had we drove separate because you know you take so much stuff.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: So my wife's in the car with uh two of our boys.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: I'm in my car with my 17-year-old, and he's crying.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: I'm crying, and I said, I'm sorry, I I can't talk.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: I said, My allergies are killing me.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_01: And he goes, he goes, Yeah, and the guy cutting the onions back there.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_01: And so we got to laugh, and then it kind of helped a little bit.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_01: But man, I I I I've only become a crier in the last probably few years.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't a crier, and uh now I've I've I get like sad at things uh that I don't normally get sad at.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, welcome aboard, dude.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_04: I got plenty of room in this bandwagon for you.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, punky Brewster, tearing up, golden girls, tearing up.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_04: And a good ATT commercial, tearing up.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: I know.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's terrible.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, great.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: I like it.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: I like this Brett Moore.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, it's it kind of leads what you talked about.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_04: We talked about together on your show about being vulnerable.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_04: And um, my kids sometimes make fun of me about it, but I could get two part, I could get two shits.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_04: Um, because I'd rather them see a dad with raw emotion and who's not afraid to put his emotion on the sleeve and versus bottling it all up and all of a sudden now I'm explode one day, good or bad.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: So um Yeah, he went back on Sunday and uh it was the same thing, man.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: Having him home for 39 or 40 days is like, okay, now we're back, right?
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: We're going to family dinners, we're going to games together, you know, and then he left.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I was again, I fought the freaking ugly cry, and he kind of looked at me and I think he liked it.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like that, okay, dad really does care that much as he says, if he can't talk, then this is good.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, bye, see it.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_04: And I just walked in the other room.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_04: It's the worst, man.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_04: I yeah, I'd take mine to the airport, and my wife didn't go because she was home with doing something.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, just that ugly cry on the way home by myself.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_04: It was like the crying game.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_01: How far is he from you?
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_04: Um, about a eight-hour drive.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_04: So an hour flight.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: So the only thing that kept me going is so we're going, he's at Mizzou, and um we got a little SEC basketball this weekend, Mizzou versus Ole Miss.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: And so we're actually going, some of our best friends, uh, their daughter goes to Ole Miss.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_01: So they have five kids.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_01: They're three, I think three or four of their kids are going, and all four kids will be there, and we're gonna spend two nights at Mizzo this weekend and get to see the game.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like, yeah, I know you're gonna be gone, but hey, we'll be back in you know four or five days.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_04: But wow, do you think the ugly cry is coming out again?
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_01: I hope.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I don't know.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: We'll see, but I don't think so.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_04: I'll let you know.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_04: I'm not judging.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_04: I encourage it.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_04: Let's keep it rolling, bro.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_04: Um, okay.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_04: Well, tell me a little bit about um each.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_04: We got we learned about your son in college, but tell me a little bit about the the other boys and then make sure how you and your wife met.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so the other boys are a junior in in high school.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_01: Uh his team, the Altolf Crusaders soccer team, they just won the state championship for Illinois.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: Let's go.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_01: Stinking cool.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_01: That's fantastic.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_01: It was a bittersweet moment uh to keep bringing my oldest back up.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: He came back home from college to go up to Chicago for it because his sophomore and junior year, they got second place.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: They got beat in the in the finals.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, they got second in state twice.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then his brother, they won it.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_01: And so his brother, no matter what the argument is, like, that's cool, I'm a state champ, you know, and uh that ends it.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_01: So he's that.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_01: My uh third son is a freshman in high school.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: I played, I played uh golf in college.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_01: He's my first golfer for uh for the family, and so he plays golf for the high school, and then my youngest is still in that age where he's playing all sorts of sports.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_01: You know, he's actually at volleyball practice right now.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: This will be his second time ever playing volleyball, so we'll see how that goes.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_01: And uh, but he's very active soccer, baseball, basketball, volleyball.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, they all dabble in golf, so it's awesome.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um how did I meet my wife?
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I met my wife on spring break 1998, uh was in Panama City Beach, Florida, at Harpoon Harry's, just left, you know, Club of Vila, Spinnaker's.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: I'm at uh Harpoon Harry's.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_01: I see this uh, you know, college girl on the dance floor, and I said, Well, she's attractive.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_01: And so I walked up and introduced myself, and we happened to go to the same university.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_01: And now here we are, married 23 years later, dated for a couple years, four kids.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: We're we're uh we're at it, we're still at it.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_04: So good.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_04: Harpoon Harry's.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_04: That just sounds like a made-up bar, but it's it's a real bar.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_01: It's great.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_01: We took our kids there when we were married.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: I think it was around our 20, 21st anniversary.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_01: We happened to be within kind of 30 minutes from away from it, and we drove over there.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_01: Looked a little different.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: The dance floor had tables on it, and we were, you know, ate lunch where where we met as a family, and they thought that was pretty cool.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_01: And mom had mom had more clothes on this time.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: And uh yes, we'll we'll leave it at it.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_01: Dad was uh doing, I was, you know, being appropriate.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: Uh yeah.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure you were.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_04: Of course, you were an upstanding citizen, doing nothing but the best, just like I was at that time of life.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_04: Um, all right.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_04: Um, I always like now transitioning to to to to to our guests when they were a kid.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_04: And you obviously highlighted your parents' gratitude in the beginning, which I I love.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_04: And but take me back to what was life like growing up for you and and talk about the impact your parents had on you and maybe some of the values that were most important.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we moved um, not to go, I won't go all the way back and bore your listeners with going back to kindergarten, but we moved away from um you know, grandma and grandpa's aunts and uncles, cousins when I was in kindergarten.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I'm an only child, so grew up three or four hours away from you know family.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_01: And so my friends quickly at a young age, my friends are feel like family.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously, I'm still close with my cousins and talk to you know a few of them still regularly.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: And but we're scattered all over the country, you know, so I don't get to see my side of the family uh as often um as I would like.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: But what I found is my friends have become my family and my brothers and being annoyed child.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: And so very, very good friends with lots of people and just love people, love staying connected.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_01: And uh, but my parents, um, I always tell this story is that when I was growing up, one, they never missed a game, right?
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_01: No matter what sport I was at, they were there, they were involved.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_01: My dad never chose work or golf league or anything like that over uh over my games.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's a little easier with one than it is with four to miss stuff.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_01: I miss stuff you know a lot because it's I'm going to another kid's event when my wife's going that direction for another event, you know.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_01: But they taught me that be there for your family, be there for your kids.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um, don't choose work, don't choose you know, your golf over being there.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think that's a big deal.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_01: They also um really would kind of I would say add fertilizer and water to my brain to help me think and dream and and believe my dreams because when I would come in the room, you know, we didn't have phones and stuff back then, right?
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_01: So I would get bored, you know, you're at home, you got nobody to play with, and uh I'd be bored and they'd say, Well, sit down.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_01: My mom would go get a TV tray, you know, the old TV trays you'd sit in front of you, like in your chair, and my dad would grab paper and a pen or whatever, and they'd say, Draw your dream house.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm, you know, 11 years old, 12 years old, and I'm drawing floor plans of what my dream home was going to be.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_01: And it would have a gymnasium with like my initials at half court.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_01: It would have, you know, whatever cool stuff you want to do as an 11, 12, 13-year-old kid.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_01: I was doing that stuff, and then I would start to think, like, man, I really want to have that one day.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_01: And um, and I don't know.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't know if they meant to do that or if that was just like, hey, be quiet, kid, and go go draw your dream house because that would buy them some time.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_01: But but it worked, right?
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I think those are the things that now I still go to a piece of paper and I carry my journals everywhere I go and and I dream and I draw out not my floor plans anymore, but I've drawn out my floor plans, if you will, for my dreams and the things that I want to do.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_01: What?
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_04: Um are mom and dad still with us?
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_01: Dad just turned 80 on January 1st, so uh 80-year-old dad and 76-year-old mom.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: And uh yeah, just get to spend a lot of time with him over the holidays and celebrate Christmas and uh his birthday.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_04: That's awesome.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_04: My uh my pops would have been 83 on January 9th.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_04: He passed away in 2021.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_04: Um and uh uh so we sh our dads we share that that uh and I think I told you when I was on your show, like same thing.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_04: My dad didn't miss my mom really good too, but my dad definitely did not miss ever anything.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_04: Um my mom really did too, but like at the end, like maybe my senior in college, she had to miss a few here and things, but she listened to on the radio or whatever.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_04: But yeah, um, those are things you don't you don't you don't forget.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_04: No, heck no.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_04: You know, and I know that I try to give grace, like we're doing our best as parents.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_04: There's no manual when you leave the hospital.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_04: Um, everybody's doing their best.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_04: And um, like I I'm we're recording in January right now.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_04: This episode will come out uh maybe in a month or so, and I have to go to Atlanta next week.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_04: And uh and I I'm gonna miss one basketball game.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_04: But I get to watch it on the Facebook live stream, but I feel like my daughter's like, yeah, it's not that big deal.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_04: I said, Yeah, it is a big deal, and I'm really sorry.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_04: And uh she's like, but you go to everything.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, I know, I don't want to miss anything because the time of me getting to watch you play hoop is it those days are going, you know, few and far between.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_04: So I just want to embrace everything, everyone you got.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_01: So I would tell not that you didn't ask this question, but I'll give this unsolicited advice about that for those parents that are in the thick of it with you know nonstop practices and games, and you're like, holy crap, I can't wait for this to be done.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_01: Is I think when my oldest went to college and I coached him all grown up through baseball, coached his basketball team, and it just it did.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: It just went like that, right?
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_01: So quick.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I think what it's done is it's helped me reposition my mindset to my fourth one is I just got done coaching his basketball.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_01: We start in a couple weeks, I coach his baseball team, and that now I look at that as okay, I he's in fifth grade, so I get him for sixth, seventh, and eighth grade the summers after, right?
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_01: I got three summers left of coaching this kid in baseball, and then I'm done, you know, and I'll have a 17-year coaching career, you know, between my all my kids.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_01: But it's like it's it's now it's coming to an end.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_01: And so those parents, man, that are going through the thick of it right now, just know that it does go fast.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: You hear it, but truly try to believe it because it goes fast, man.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_01: And once it's over, it's over.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_04: Spot on, brother.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, it's um so true.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_04: And I it is a cliche, but it's a cliche for reason because it's truth.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_04: Um tell me what mom and dad did for their job.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_01: So my dad uh was a banker, and um and my mom uh was lucky enough to be able to stay home with me when uh I was born.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: She she retired the basically the the week I was born.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_01: She was uh owned a hair salon and gave that up and then uh helped you know raise me.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_01: And and uh so that's what they did.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_01: So my dad again was very instrumental in my beliefs of of business and building relationships.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I saw him you know build relationships in town for the right reasons.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think again, that was just kind of programmed in my brain of how I then got into finance and stayed in wealth management instead of banking and just built a business from there.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_04: Is it when you say that, like stories of building relationships doing it the right way, tell me is there a story that comes to mind of it you can remember that you might reflect on often that maybe you share with your team or share with your boys?
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_01: Well, my dad was a handshake guy, right?
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like you you make a decision based on a handshake, and I think we can get away from that in the world.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that you know, paperwork and all the stuff, and obviously you got to have contracts and sign stuff.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not saying that, but I've always tried to say that as I remember as he was kind of winding down his career, he's been retired since 07.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_01: Is that that that game changed and it became less about relationships and more about the almighty dollar?
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_01: And for him, it was frustrating.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's what for me, I I mean, if I have to have a contract, clearly we have to do that and we sign clients up and all that stuff.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_01: But I would be just as fine with saying, you know, here's a handshake, here's my word, I'm gonna do this, let's make it happen.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't care about your contract.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_04: I'm I'm old school like that too.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_04: Um, you know, the old Jerry McGuire, my my word, what is it, my word as strong as oak?
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_04: That line.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_04: Um, why do you think that's um where do you think that's that's gone or missing today's culture?
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_01: I think it just it's all about the bottom line for people, right?
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, okay, am I gonna make more money in that?
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, look, I had a uh a great buddy of mine was a division one basketball coach at a at the SEC level, and and you know, I've known him since we were kids, since I was probably in fourth grade.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_01: And we were talking today about the transfer portal and NIL, and it's you know, it's it there's a lot of good to it, but there is a lot of bad to it, man.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_01: And and to where we could potentially see this in the next three or four years that these kids aren't even going to school, you know, and so I just think that it's ran by decisions that aren't in the best interest of people sometimes.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_01: And uh that's why I think to answer your question, that's why it's gone there is that the best interest of people sometimes is not why we're making decisions.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_04: I agree, man.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_04: That's funny.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_04: I I've talked to people about NIL before and Transfer Portal and um you know, the the whole I gotta have it now mindset, which that's not how we build grit, that's not how we build resilience.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_04: Um you know, that's just why I'm hoping that there's a dad listened to that we can maybe influence a dad through our conversation that maybe gets back to that, you know, it's like, yeah, maybe my son's not playing right now, but maybe why?
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_04: Is is it truly the coach's fault, or is there something maybe that he or she could be doing differently at home typically?
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, because 99.99% of our kids are not going pro.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_04: Um that's right.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_04: If they do, awesome.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_04: But you know, like my wife, she had a great analogy.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_04: She was like, we have like kind of 18 seasons, almost like a sports analogy.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_04: We have 18 summers or 18 seasons to kind of prepare them.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_04: We're in the minor leagues, trying to get them ready for the pros, and um that's why what's been so fun about this podcast journey, you know, year six, which is so crazy to think about, is um you know, trying to help really remember what the values that were important to us and not getting away from that.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_04: Like there's yeah, there's a groups, there's a line that success leaves clues.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_04: I've heard before.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_04: So if it's if it's still successful back, you know, Socrates was using curiosity, why aren't we using Socrates?
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_04: Uh you know, Michelangelo is being using curiosity, why aren't we using curiosity?
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, Voltaire, yeah, we think we gotta do it some different.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_04: I get times change, but like uh I I bel I love like your pops' old mindset and your mindset too.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_04: It's like that's that's how you create character people.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_04: Yep.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_04: Absolutely.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_04: Um did you ever when did you think you wanted to get into finance?
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_01: Uh huh.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_01: It's funny.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_01: I have a good story.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_01: My I always talk about this.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_01: My cousin Dean, uh, he's the oldest cousin on my mom's side.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_01: I'm the youngest cousin on my mom's side.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_01: We went and helped him move into a new home.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_01: He was a, you know, I don't remember how old he was at the time, but he was young.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_01: And uh I was, like I said, 15.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_01: So he's probably in his you know, mid-20s, upper 20s.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_01: And he was what they call back then a stockbroker.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_01: And uh I always knew I wanted to be successful, and and you know, you and I share a passion.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_01: We both have the passion for golf.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I just remember we we my mom and dad and I, we drove about an hour and a half, went over to help him and his wife, and I don't even know if they had kids at the time, um, move into their new home.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_01: And their new home was on this country club.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_01: I saw this hole in the backyard.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_01: He had a gold BMW, and we get in it, and he's got like speakers in the headrest, and he cranks up the music.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_01: And here's a 15-year-old kid.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, that's what I'm gonna do.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: And uh and so I went to college.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_01: I uh I majored in golf and fraternity and uh knew that I just I knew I wanted to be successful.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_01: And when I got out, I went to a job fair and found two investment companies and got hired with one, worked there for 12 and a half years, and then started my own deal almost 11 years ago.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_01: But he told me and my I think she was my fiance at the time, now my wife, whatever you do, put two years of work into your first year.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_01: That's it.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_01: You do that, you'll be successful.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_01: So I just said, okay, I was just dumb enough to go do what he said, right?
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_01: And they said make 40 phone calls a day.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_01: I went and made 80.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: And just, you know, just keep doing it.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_01: And uh yeah, now here we are 24 years later in a professional career and have loved every bit of it.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_04: Um, so it's easy to tell people that, but tell me if you can think about where did that work ethic and grind and uh mindset habits come from?
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I will tell you I didn't have a work ethic.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: I, you know, it was uh one of those things.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_01: I I I grew up, I played golf.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_01: I I would play baseball at night and golf all day long.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_01: I was, you know, blessed to get to do that.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_01: And uh, you know, I had some jobs here and there, but I didn't learn a work ethic.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like I look back and I think I probably I'm a better golfer today at 47 than I was in college.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I look back and think, man, if I had a work ethic back then on it, and I played a lot of golf, but I didn't work at it.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_01: We just went and played and was naturally good enough to to go someplace with it.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_01: And and so I think I learned it.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I'll also tell you that the thing that I learned to build a work ethic was I I knew I was very clear on where I wanted to go.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_01: So again, when I was making those 80 phone calls, I had in a frame of things that I wanted to accomplish in my life in the next year, the next three years, and I would look at that thing every single time I was making a phone call and didn't want to.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_01: And these were little things like back then, buy my wife a coach purse, you know, um, season tickets to the Cardinals.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_01: I wanted to drive a three series BMW, I wanted to be able to give uh you know a hundred dollars to a charity.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I mean these were small things, but they were big at the time when I was 22, 23 years old, and I just had them in a frame and I did it.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_01: My first year in the business, I was the financial advisor of the year in St.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_01: Louis for our company.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_01: Okay now, no no work ethic, right?
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_01: A little bit of arrogance comes in.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_01: The next year, they should have fired me because I basically brought in no clients.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_01: I had a terrible year, and then it's that come down to come to Jesus moment with myself, right?
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_01: Like, all right, you say you want these things, dude, but your effort and your workability is not doing it.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_01: So what's gonna change?
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_01: That's actually where I created the circuit of success on a piece of paper that then, you know, many years later ended up becoming my podcast name.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but that's what I had to do, and it was a kind of a again, a come to Jesus moment with myself of you gotta learn to work.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_01: Talent, talent takes you places, but work with talent that's a that's a good recipe.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_04: Have you shared that with the story with your boys?
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_04: Your employees, yeah, yeah.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_04: Love it.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_04: I knew you did.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_01: I share it on.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, if anybody ever listens to me on a podcast, they're like, all right, my it's just a different, it's just different host, but it's the same stories, right?
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_01: Because there's only so many stories to share, and that that's one of them for me.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_01: My worst year in business was my best year ever, right?
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_01: Because I learned the most in that terrible, terrible time when my wife would be like, Where's your paycheck?
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, I don't have one, you know.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_04: So how so I want to dig in on this one.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_04: So sometimes us men, we have these things called egos that get in the way and block us from growing because we're so right.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_04: I was very lucky one of the leaders early in my business career, he asked me a question It was Casey, do you want to be right or do you want to get what you want?
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_04: And I was like, Well, I want both.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_04: He's like, Don't ask.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_04: You gotta pick one.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_04: I was like, hmm, shoot.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_04: I was like, and thank God I'm wired this way.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_04: I said, I'm gonna get what I want.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_04: He's like, good answer.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_04: I think that's helped me have a healthy marriage of 26 years.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_04: It's helped me in business, helped me in relationship building.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_04: So it's like, but I think that took um you could have easily got defensive and your ego.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, if you as you reflect back or think, like, do you think it's because you were wired that way?
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_04: Or do you think you know someone said something to you or you had a mentor or or maybe your dad?
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_01: I definitely, I mean, I watched people in the in the company, and I I was very I always watched successful people.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, I I saw a guy um in my hometown that my dad was friends with that was successful, and I would just kind of watch from afar.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_01: I'd watch the guys that were successful in the firm, guys, gals that were successful in the firm.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but again, for me, I think it man, it was clarity of what I wanted in my life.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I think without clarity, it's like if I just gave you the keys in my car and said, here, drive, well, where the hell are you gonna drive to?
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_01: You don't even know where you're going, right?
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_01: Just start driving.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_01: Well, where am I gonna?
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know, just start driving.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_01: Or you're gonna end up somewhere, right?
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_01: But when I say, hey, go, here's the keys to my car, go plug in this address, you know exactly where to go.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_01: And same thing with life.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_01: If if I write down, right, in a piece of paper, write it down, don't just think about it, write it down on a piece of paper and I say, here's what I want to accomplish, and here's what I want to accomplish it by in my faith, my family, my fitness, my firm, my fund, my finances, those are my six F's.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_01: Now I've got a plan to where if I truly want those things, then I have to go out and work.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_01: And it's kind of a simple recipe if you think of it.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_01: Now, you have to get lucky sometimes, you gotta put in the work, you gotta show up when you don't want to, you gotta follow success, you gotta you know, look at mentors, you gotta have for me.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_01: I have to I have faith in God, I have faith in a process, faith and trust in that stuff.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_01: And if you do those things, it's probably gonna work.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I agree.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_04: I um have you shared those six F's with your kids?
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_04: Do they write them down too?
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_01: They do, yeah.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_01: That's awesome.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_01: Not as much as you want, right?
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_01: As a kid, but they're like, I well, here comes dad again.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_01: He's gonna talk about his F to the sixth power, right?
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_01: Uh why is he dropping F bombs on us?
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_01: Right, yeah.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_04: Um, do you think this tell me, do you think this stems from your mom in the piece of paper?
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, possibly, yeah.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it it thinks so.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it starts having goals.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_04: No, you're if you're so I always love asking questions where my guests don't know.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_04: I would love it if if you shall accept homework out of this.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_01: And and ask mama, she she might not even remember, or maybe she's like, No, I've talked about this with my parents before about the writing down my you know, dream house and all that stuff, too.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_01: And it's uh yeah, I don't know, man.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_01: It does make you think.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_01: And it's uh I remember also going to a uh study group.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_01: I was in a study group of financial advisors where we would meet three times a year.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_01: We'd travel to different places and we'd meet, we'd share business ideas.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I'll never forget a guy named Jason was the one that gave me the idea of buying this journal.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I've used the same journal since July of 2005.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously, I've gone through a bunch of them.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but then I've got that, then then what ultimately led me to you know creating my own journal, and uh and now I've got it all in one spot.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_01: So I got a journal that's how I track my day in my quarter, my 90 days, and then I've got the journal where I dream and strategize in.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_01: And those two things are with me all the time.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_04: Um, is it a journal you sell?
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_01: I do, yeah.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_01: On Amazon.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_04: We'll make sure that's let's hit that.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_04: Make sure you bring that up at the end because I want to make sure we link that in the show notes so people can go in.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_04: I go through journals all day long, so I'll I'll make sure I go support you and grab one or some.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_01: That's not why I'm on the show.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_01: I just I just kind of dropped it out there.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_04: I want to go back to those six F's again.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_04: Can you can you say those again?
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_04: Finance?
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it starts with your faith.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_01: They're they're in uh they're in that order, faith.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, my family.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, my fitness, okay, my firm.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_01: So it'd be work for other people.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_01: Mine just happens to be firm, right?
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_01: So another F.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_01: And then fun and then finances.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_04: Love it.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_04: And when you go through that, do you ideally do is it like do you have a goal of like unlimited um things you're writing by each number, each letter, or is it each word, or is it just like one thing?
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_01: Well, like so again, in my journal, the the first the 90 days.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's uh it's every 90 days you get a different journal.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_01: And um, like in my faith, there's uh I have I want to read a daily devotional, I want to focus on getting to church on Sundays because with four kids you can always have a game or something, right?
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_01: So if it's not then it's Saturday at four, whatever.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_01: So make that a priority.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_01: We're we're good at that.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then I want to read uh one um religious, like Christian book this uh first 90 days.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_01: So if I can do my daily devotional, I'm showing up to church every weekend and I read one good book.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_01: That's a victory for me in the first 90 days of my in my faith, that F faith.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_01: So family relationships, it was um three date nights with my wife, right?
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_01: Just her and I, one-on-one.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_01: And that may not sound like a lot to some people.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it maybe it is.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_01: But for me, again, with busy schedules, three just one-on-one dates with my wife, and then one-on-one event this quarter with my each of my boys.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_01: So, like my oldest and I, before we went to college, we got our date in, right?
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_01: And our date was to a hockey game.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_01: It was just the two of us.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_01: We went to the St.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_01: Louis Blues game, had a great night, right?
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_01: So I got three more of those to do with my kids and two more to still do with my wife.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_01: And so we tracked those, right?
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_01: And that's something that I look at and I track.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_01: So I can't I'm not gonna continue to bore everybody, but then I got a fitness one, my firm, my fund, my finances.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_01: There's a goal.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_01: And it could be one, it could be two, it could be three goals, but that's about it.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_04: Is Richard Simmons sweat into the oldies on the fitness goal?
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_04: It is not.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe I should add that one.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_04: I just wanted to have that visual for you to think about.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_04: I see, I love this, and and hopefully, dads, if you're writing this down like I just did, and I take always take pages of notes when I'm talking to guests, it's like that's how we get better.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_04: And I think that's why you've, I mean, I don't know yet really at all yet, Brett, but like why I could assume you've had success in life and you continue to have success, like one, you stay humble.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_04: But two, you have you have a plan, you hold yourself to the metrics of how you measure success, and then you look back in 90 days, like, wow, I did some pretty cool stuff.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um yeah, all this stuff.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_01: I say this is my journal.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_01: This is all stuff I've learned.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_01: I've this has been uh on for probably three or four years now.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_01: So this was 21 years in the making of learning from everybody else, and I just took it all from what I've learned and then put it in one spot in a in a journal, so then it's easy to follow.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, everybody.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_00: My name's Craig Co., and I'm the senior vice president of relationship management for Beeline.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_00: For more than 20 years, we've been helping Fortune 1000 companies drive a competitive advantage with their external workforce.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, Beeline's history of first-to-market innovations has become today's industry standards.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_00: I get asked all the time, what did Casey do for your organization?
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I say this, it's simple.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_00: The guy Flat Out gets it, relationships matter.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_00: His down-to-earth presentation, his real-world experience apply to every area of our business.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, his book, Win the Relationship and Not the Deal, has become required reading for all new members of the Global Relationship Management Team.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_00: If you'd like to know more about me or about Beeline, please reach out to me on LinkedIn.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_00: And if you don't know Casey Jacks, go to caseyjcox.com and learn more about how he can help your organization.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_00: Now, let's get back to today's episode.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_04: Well, I just finished a so I don't um I've I have a very I've I've me a very um spiritual framework.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_04: I look at a daily devotional in the morning.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_04: Sometimes I have no idea what the heck it means.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_04: But just being competitive, you know, the Bible app it says like how many days in all I look at it.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_01: And so sometimes I'll go and I'm like, God, I forget to do it.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_04: And I have to start back over at one.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_04: But I'm on 202 right now, 2032 or something.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_04: And um there's a I just read a book that someone else told me about.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_04: It's called Two Chairs.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_04: It's written by a guy named Um Um Bob.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_04: Um shoot, I'm gonna blank on his name.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_04: Bob.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_04: I'll think about it in a second.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, Bob, I know who you're talking about.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um I read another one of his books.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_04: Um The Power of Who?
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_01: Uh yes.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_01: Bob He's in recruiting, too.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_04: Like um, shout out to Bobby.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_04: We're forgetting your name, but we're gonna get a longer plug here.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um Christian book author.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_01: Bob Goff.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_01: Is it Bob Goff?
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, mine was Bob Goff.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_01: No, yeah.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_04: Bob um, shoot, I'm gonna look this up.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_04: Two chairs.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_04: I gotta look so sorry, buddy.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_04: Home we're gonna do a little detro here.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_04: Um book.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_04: Sorry.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_04: Bob Boudine.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_04: Bob Boudine, yes.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_04: So he um, you know, it's funny, I've I've been doing some of the things he talks about, but like he said, and it's kind of like the first time I did it, I was like, I was going through some stuff, like getting wrapped up around the axle and on really things in life that aren't that big a deal.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_04: And Lily, what it does is kind of like when you go, like I do a gratitude journal in the morning, look at the devotional.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_04: Um, but it said, like, no, like go pretend like you're having a meeting with God.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_04: And you you sit down and you you like I'm listening, I'm like, this is the first time I did it, I'm like, this is weird.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_04: You know, I'm like, this is and so and even like sometimes people say, Well, God's talking to you.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, how do you know?
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_04: You know, there's some people that swear with that.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, again, that's I'm like more of a spiritual guy than something.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_04: So I think sometimes I don't want to get get too off track here, but I think sometimes religion gets a bad connotation because you get so focused on what you think you know, but I don't think anybody knows, right?
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_04: You know, and but what uh and it's it just says you sit in a chair, you get you visualize God sitting across from you, and you just talk to him.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_04: And it's beautiful, dude.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_04: The first time I did it, I literally felt like lightning throughout my body and almost got emotional.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_04: Like I'm dropping my son off at school again.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_04: And I'm like, shoot, maybe that's like maybe that's what God's talking to me feels like.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_04: But I was like, it was the weirdest feeling.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_04: And so now I'm like, I walk in, I've been doing this now for a week.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_04: I'm kind of oversharing power vulnerability, and I'm like, what's up, God?
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, I visualize he's not the chair behind me, you know, and so um I like that.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it's a great book.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_04: Um, shout out to Bob.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_04: And I'm I'm actually I'm hoping he's gonna come on um and let me interview him one day because I've interviewed another one of his friends, guy named Bob Titi, who's a former guest.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_04: He he's a big curiosity guy, too.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm going uh uh I'm going to Two Chairs Book on Amazon right now.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_01: Is it this red and white book?
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_01: Bob and I, yep.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_01: It'll be here by tomorrow, probably at 7 a.m.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_01: There we go.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_01: There we go.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_01: I haven't I haven't picked out my book yet.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_01: I usually got a guy in the office, Scott, that I ask, hey, what's my next book?
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I so this is gonna be my next book.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_04: Well, maybe maybe we'll create like a book club for dads out of this journey together.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_04: I like it.
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_04: You know?
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_04: And it's like countability.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_01: It's one of my biggest things, man.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_01: It's 10 pages a day.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_01: Just 10 pages a day.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_01: You'll end up reading about 25 books a year.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_01: Because for me, to say 25 books a year is like that's almost impossible, it sounds like.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_01: But if I say 10 pages a day, that's easy.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_01: I can do that.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_04: Small, exactly.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_04: Start small and then just chip away.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_04: Um where did you learn these six F's?
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_01: Time.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_01: Time.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_01: It used to be like, you know, three F's, and then it was like, you know, uh, then I'm in finance, and it took me probably I had five F to the fifth power for about uh four or five years.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, wait a second, finance, your finance is kind of important, what I do for a living.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so we'll add that one.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_01: So just over time, but again, I don't know if I mentioned this or not, but I I do uh strategic think time and I spend an hour and a half of my week, it's usually on Wednesdays, Wednesday afternoons from one to two thirty with myself and this black dreaming big journal.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um it's got an F greater than P sign on it, just like you can see on my microphone here, which is future greater than your past, which is also the name of the of the journal.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_01: And so um for me, it's just constantly spending an hour and a half with a blank sheet of paper and an ink pen.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_01: Things just, you know, they just kind of start to roll out.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I've been doing that for gosh, years, you know, 10 or 15 years.
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I've been doing that once a week.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_01: So how do you tell me how do you hold yourself accountable to that?
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, nobody's perfect, so it doesn't happen every single week, but I I do a pretty damn good job.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_01: If I have a meeting that I have to keep at that Wednesday time frame, then I just move it on my calendar.
• 38:18
  SPEAKER_01: But for me, it's like it's like water, man.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_01: I I I crave it.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like we we just had a boil order and our our the the freezing here uh broke our uh pipes.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_01: And you don't know how much you like water when you can't drink water at home for a night.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_01: And then this morning I got it, and I'm like chugging water.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's but it's that's what it's like for me with with journal time that that strategic think time is so many great ideas for me and so many ways to dig yourself out of something.
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like, hey man, when you're a new you know, young advisor and you need more clients, and you you think of strategies that help you think differently.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_01: And so for me, that's what I do.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_04: Have you applied that strategy to like wage you want to be a better dad?
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, 100%.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, is it?
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, create a little post-it notes and like you know, things I need to remember, like, hey, don't lose your you know what on them and get mad, and you know, four boys is freaking crazy.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_01: And and uh so instead, and I'm not again, I'm not perfect at it by any stretch of the imagination, but you know, little reminders.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_01: I use my phone, I use Siri all the time for reminders.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, those are the things that I try to do to try to be better every day.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_01: And again, nobody's perfect, but if you're trying to get a little bit better each day, it usually works.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I think it's I think it's so good.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_04: That's that's where I believe life's superpowers rely on.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, the three I'm psychotically passionate about are humility, vulnerability, and curiosity.
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_04: Um, I think you're leading leading them all right there.
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_04: You're curious to get better, you're humble enough to say you're not freaking no one's perfect and you're vulnerable to share where your gaps are.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_04: Um one of the you know, one of the episodes I did was with one of my buddies, the guy that played golf a lot.
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_04: Shout out to D Balmores, um, Darren, my boy.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_04: Um, we did an episode on saying you're sorry.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_04: And just and that was like episode nine, and we're almost gonna be in episode 300 here pretty soon.
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_04: But like that type of thing.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_04: I could see dads writing that down, like man, you were an a-hole yesterday.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and everybody knows it but you and your egos in the way, so what are you gonna do about it?
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_04: And and are we gonna let ourselves off the hook?
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_04: Are we gonna sit there for an hour and a half until we finally you know take off our diaper, stop making all these excuses, and say, Hey, I'm sorry.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, don't make excuses, just own your you know what.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_04: Yep.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_04: You know?
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I've had to say I'm sorry plenty of times, right?
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you can't just say, I'm sorry, I screwed up, I'm learning.
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_01: There's no playbook for being a parent.
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you can't Google how to be a better dad.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you can, you'll find a lot of articles, but you you gotta just go through it, man.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_04: Sometimes they're written by they're not dads.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 40:46
  SPEAKER_04: Single guy with three cats.
• 40:47
  SPEAKER_04: How do you know what it's like to be a dad?
• 40:49
  SPEAKER_04: Yep.
• 40:49
  SPEAKER_04: You know, no offense, the guy with three cats.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_04: That's the fatherhood too out there.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_01: No offense taken.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, not to you, but the guy with three cats.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_04: Um, if you were to think about an area of your dad game that maybe it's not quite where you want it, that you've said, man, if I was honest with myself, this is an area of my game that I can I can really work on that might maybe speak to other dads at home.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_04: That um anything you feel like sharing, maybe I'll leave my witness mine that I work really, really hard on is patience.
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that would be mine.
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I knew when as soon as you started talking, I know where it's at, you know.
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_01: Again, and I I blame it on being an only child because if I wanted to go play with that thing, especially when they were little, man, like if they, you know, there would be a toy on the floor and one kid would go grab it, and then all of a sudden now two or three others wanted to play with it, and now there's just like you know, a freaking cage match going on in my family room, and I would lose my crap, right?
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what in the hell is wrong with these kids?
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like, why are they fighting?
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_01: Because I never had that, right?
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, as annoying child, if you wanted to go play with that ball over there, you went and grabbed the ball and you did whatever the hell you wanted with it.
• 41:51
  SPEAKER_01: And and so now when I see this sibling rivalry, um, then they, you know, it I'm like, what the hell is going on here?
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_01: And then they they're good now because then they know it pisses me off.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_01: They'll be like, Well, Dad, you're you're just annoying child, you don't get it.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, then I get mad, you know, right?
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, screw everybody, you know, like yeah, so I I would say that is try to, you know, my patients when it's like, okay, the one time I say let's stop, you know, and then when they don't, then I end up getting pissed.
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what I've worked on.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_01: I've it's only taken me about you know 19 years and four months, and I'm still you know working on it.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_01: I'll let you know when I master it.
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I'll see you in the assisted living facility.
• 42:28
  SPEAKER_04: We can compare notes.
• 42:29
  SPEAKER_04: Exactly.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 42:31
  SPEAKER_04: How do you um so for maybe a dad out there that is an only child that maybe this is speaking to him?
• 42:36
  SPEAKER_04: Uh what are some things you do to to really kind of sharpen your you know, sharpen your sword or saw for per se?
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_01: To to for being a better dad?
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, with with that.
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, because it's easy.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_04: That could be your excuse and like, well, I was an only child.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_04: I can nothing I can do about it.
• 42:53
  SPEAKER_04: But you're you're choosing to do something about it.
• 42:55
  SPEAKER_04: So, like, what would be some things?
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, obviously you shared the six F's, that's a that's a great way, but is there any other other things that you might recommend that you've seen helpful either for you or others?
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean, reading books, you know, I I probably read one to two, which is not a lot, but I read one to two books a year on parenting um that really try to help me.
• 43:14
  SPEAKER_01: I've learned that when I feel the way I feel, um, which you talk about vulnerability.
• 43:21
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, isn't this crazy that it works?
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_01: Is when I share, boys, I'm getting to my limit.
• 43:27
  SPEAKER_01: And literally will just say it like that.
• 43:29
  SPEAKER_01: It's kind of like that helps diffuse the situation because they know then dad's gonna get pissed, right?
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_01: And it's not like I'm throwing shit around the house, but it's just like I'm mad, right?
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_01: And you don't want to make somebody mad, but it's just like I'm annoyed.
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like, be quiet, stop fighting, you know.
• 43:43
  SPEAKER_01: And so um, but I think working on it, and then the other thing, and my wife's helped me with this like just leave the room for a minute.
• 43:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like, if you just if you're that pissed, like just leave the room.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_04: That's good.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_04: Isn't that funny how just like removing yourself can can be all the thing?
• 43:57
  SPEAKER_04: Or you know, I've one thing I work on is like just asking for help from my wife.
• 44:01
  SPEAKER_04: Like, if I'm like, I'm not, I can feel it.
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_04: I'm this this freaking Freddie Kruger's coming out, I can feel it, and I can't stop it.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know how to stop it.
• 44:09
  SPEAKER_04: She's like, go, go, go.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it's the stuff that you learn as a kid, right?
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_01: Your first 18 years of life, how that stays with you forever.
• 44:16
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, like, I just like when my dad would come home from work, it was quiet, right?
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_01: It was peaceful.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_01: You get this transition from work, dad, to you know, now I'm at home, dad, and it's like I'll come home, and that's usually when the chaos is going on, right?
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_01: They've they've been cooped up at school all day long, they're they're hungry, right?
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's like we got to hurry up and get to practice.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_01: That's when the craziness is going on, and it's like shit, I just want to come home to like some peace and quiet for like just give me five minutes, you know.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_01: And uh it doesn't always work.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm painting a bad picture, right?
• 44:47
  SPEAKER_01: It's not like this is all the time, but this is the stuff though that I struggle with.
• 44:51
  SPEAKER_01: But it's real.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_04: It's I mean, I think we'd be lying, people who listening or we're we'd be lying to ourselves.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_04: It's not like you know, and I I've said this multiple times, I'll continue to say it because I'm saying it for myself.
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_04: Like this podcast is for me.
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I get therapy out of every episode.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_01: I call it my weekly therapy.
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_04: 100%.
• 45:09
  SPEAKER_04: And um, I'm not doing this to get on um Phil Donahue or Oprah.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_04: I'm not doing this to be the next Joe Rogan.
• 45:16
  SPEAKER_04: I'm doing this because it's a it's a fun project.
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_04: It's I didn't know I'd be doing this for six years.
• 45:21
  SPEAKER_01: Um you'd take the$200 million Joe Rogan check though, wouldn't you?
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_04: Uh probably I'd probably hold out for$205.
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_04: I mean 100% I would.
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_04: But like I think the chance of that happens.
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_04: I'm gonna write I'm gonna write it down in my my journal.
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_04: There you go.
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_04: I will be the next Joe Rogan.
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_01: I will make$200 million for my podcast.
• 45:40
  SPEAKER_04: But I know we talked this about mine, and you we talked you mentioned the law of attraction.
• 45:44
  SPEAKER_04: Obviously, um I'm a big visualization person.
• 45:46
  SPEAKER_04: Um, I've taught my kids that like I think that's what's cool.
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_04: I've seen is like my kids like have goal boards in their room.
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_04: Um and uh I think when when there's it's easy to tell our kids these things, but when you can back it up with a story like your mom and did when you're 12.
• 46:01
  SPEAKER_04: Or your mom and dad did when you're 12.
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_04: Like I can I have many stories of visualization when things writing things down, and like it it works, everybody.
• 46:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 46:10
  SPEAKER_04: Um, so if you're a dad listening, you're like, oh, you guys are full of shit.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, you you believe you, bro.
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_04: Or check your ego and like try it and follow up with me at Brett in a month and say, Oh my god, maybe you did.
• 46:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, how many kids do you have again?
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_04: Two.
• 46:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 46:25
  SPEAKER_01: So six kids between the two of us.
• 46:26
  SPEAKER_01: We probably know a thing or two.
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_04: Two kids that I know of, two.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_04: Right, right.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 46:32
  SPEAKER_04: Joking, Carrie.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_04: I'm joking.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, just joking, baby.
• 46:35
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_04: Um, so you you you work for your you you got into wealth management thanks to our boy Dean, cousin Dean, um, the the BMW with the brass monkey bumping in behind your ears, and you're you're you're motivated to do it.
• 46:51
  SPEAKER_04: Um take me back to the day uh if you can that said, I'm gonna go out and do my own thing.
• 46:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_04: Um and how did that impact you as a dad?
• 47:03
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I I always struggle sharing this story because it's it there was something big that happened in my life that was um it was a big deal, and I don't want to come across like I'm bragging, but um, that's why I always struggle sharing it.
• 47:17
  SPEAKER_01: But but it's true, and we're talking about transparency and vulnerability.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_01: And so I did something in a company, a 150-year-old company that had never been done before.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_01: And um, you know, so 150 years is a long time.
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I did this thing.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_01: I there was a number of people that I recruited and brought into my own firm.
• 47:34
  SPEAKER_01: I owned my own office there at this firm, and I had recruited the most the company had ever seen in 150 years, all while being a what's called a there's a certain name for this production thing that you get to at that at that company.
• 47:47
  SPEAKER_01: And again, and those two things had never happened uh before.
• 47:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, you know, that's pretty cool, but yet, like, so here I was, my success was kind of going like this, right?
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_01: Which means financially, freedom, all this stuff, right?
• 48:01
  SPEAKER_01: But yet my job satisfaction was going like this.
• 48:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I was going through this whole process with having some panic attacks, having you know, anxiety, um, going to the mayo clinic and spending money to get a full physical because I just knew something was wrong with me.
• 48:19
  SPEAKER_01: And um it came back that it was anxiety and and and it just I wasn't doing well, right?
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_01: And but yet here I am on paper and and on the outskirts looking like I was this super successful dude.
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_01: And uh I went to this meeting that that you qualify for, and I would go around and I was basically doing like a podcast before podcasts were going on, and I was like, hey, what what makes you happy?
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_01: What keeps you here?
• 48:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I couldn't get a good answer.
• 48:43
  SPEAKER_01: And at that moment I knew on a flight home from Arizona that I was I was done.
• 48:48
  SPEAKER_01: And uh took the rest of the holidays and kind of just thought about it and then made a call to my business partner now, Tim Hammond, on uh January 2nd of 20 uh 14 and said, Hey, what keeps you here?
• 49:01
  SPEAKER_01: Because he was at the same firm and uh thinking he'd try to help me there.
• 49:06
  SPEAKER_01: And 82 days later we started a firm, and now almost 11 years later, here we are.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_04: Wow.
• 49:12
  SPEAKER_04: That's awesome.
• 49:13
  SPEAKER_04: Well that that speaks to me on many levels.
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_04: We uh we have more in common now.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_04: I didn't I didn't do something that was 150 years, but I did did something about half that.
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_04: Um I think it's um yeah, we aren't bragging, but it's the truth.
• 49:23
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and you should be proud of it.
• 49:25
  SPEAKER_04: I'm proud of it.
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_04: But um when you when you left, um what was there like fear like or was there just this inner belief like I'm gonna make it happen?
• 49:37
  SPEAKER_01: Well, there was both.
• 49:38
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it was um my my wife was uh eight months pregnant.
• 49:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um the day I resigned and started my new firm.
• 49:47
  SPEAKER_01: My wife was eight months pregnant with our fourth child.
• 49:50
  SPEAKER_01: We had just built our dream home.
• 49:54
  SPEAKER_01: And here I was, you know, I remember a month before I left, my wife saying, Is this the right time?
• 50:00
  SPEAKER_01: I said, No, it's a freaking terrible time.
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_01: I said, but we're gonna do it.
• 50:05
  SPEAKER_01: And she's like, Let's go.
• 50:07
  SPEAKER_01: And uh, you know, supported the hell out of it.
• 50:09
  SPEAKER_01: And uh I wouldn't be where I'm at without that support.
• 50:13
  SPEAKER_01: And we did it and resigned on a Monday.
• 50:18
  SPEAKER_01: Her dad had a stroke the Friday before.
• 50:22
  SPEAKER_01: So now I'm dealing with my wife's dealing with her dad.
• 50:25
  SPEAKER_01: Um that was so he had a stroke Friday.
• 50:28
  SPEAKER_01: I resigned Monday.
• 50:29
  SPEAKER_01: Uh Friday, my dad had a heart attack, um you know, coated on the table.
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_01: They zapped him back.
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so this is all going on in the week, all along with I know I'm getting ready to have my fourth child.
• 50:39
  SPEAKER_01: That's not good for anxiety.
• 50:42
  SPEAKER_01: And uh I worked um in my town that I was I owned the building that we were in.
• 50:47
  SPEAKER_01: It had to go perfect.
• 50:48
  SPEAKER_01: Thankfully it did.
• 50:50
  SPEAKER_01: And uh, but it was freaking scary as hell.
• 50:52
  SPEAKER_01: But then also it was like burn the bridges, man.
• 50:54
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna make this, we're not gonna fail.
• 50:56
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna make it happen, and uh and we did.
• 50:59
  SPEAKER_01: But it was a lot of work, man.
• 51:01
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of work.
• 51:02
  SPEAKER_04: I was I don't I sorry for interrupting you, but I said that's those things are probably not good for your anxiety.
• 51:08
  SPEAKER_01: No, they were brutal.
• 51:09
  SPEAKER_01: Jeez.
• 51:10
  SPEAKER_01: But you know, when I made the decision and I I I had spent now a year studying and learning what anxiety was to where I could learn to make it my friend, it certainly was not under control.
• 51:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but knowing I made that switch, how big of a release that was of now I'm working for our own brand and doing the things that we want to do with our clients.
• 51:31
  SPEAKER_01: And it was like this overwhelming sense of relief that came over me.
• 51:35
  SPEAKER_01: And then again, now working on it, now here we are again, 11 years later.
• 51:39
  SPEAKER_01: My anxiety will still pop up here and there.
• 51:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I know how to deal with it.
• 51:43
  SPEAKER_04: Did you have like a voice in your head that kept chipping at you?
• 51:47
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, I call him your roommate, and that you know, this roommate over here, he's a dick.
• 51:52
  SPEAKER_01: And then this guy, he is really he's really awesome.
• 51:55
  SPEAKER_01: And he's in better shape, too.
• 51:57
  SPEAKER_01: He's in way better shape, he's he's better looking, he's just all sorts of stuff.
• 52:00
  SPEAKER_01: But uh man, you have that.
• 52:02
  SPEAKER_01: And again, I used to kind of start to believe it a little bit, you know, but now I've learned again when it starts to come in.
• 52:08
  SPEAKER_01: I I now, I and this guy over here, we talk major trash to this dude over here.
• 52:13
  SPEAKER_01: Like I love talking trash at golf or in the basketball court or whatever.
• 52:17
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and now I do it in business to myself.
• 52:19
  SPEAKER_04: Love it.
• 52:20
  SPEAKER_04: Self-talk is so important too.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_04: I do it.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_04: My kids make funny, my wife makes fun.
• 52:23
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, I've been doing self-talk my whole life.
• 52:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 52:26
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I'm like, dude, I know what you're doing right now, it's not gonna work.
• 52:29
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, suck it.
• 52:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 52:32
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that's so good.
• 52:34
  SPEAKER_04: I um that speaks to me, man, on a lot of levels.
• 52:38
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and I appreciate you sharing because I know there's someone that's um listening that might be going through the same thing.
• 52:43
  SPEAKER_04: But I mean, I think a lot of this stuff is fixable through it's easy to want to take drugs, and I think sometimes chemicals were people need to do that.
• 52:50
  SPEAKER_04: I get that, but I think sometimes just talking about it and and being vulnerable.
• 52:54
  SPEAKER_04: 100%.
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_01: I've never taken medicine for it, man.
• 52:56
  SPEAKER_01: And it um and I'm proud of that.
• 52:58
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's because I've and again, there are people that have to have it, they have it way, way worse than I ever had it.
• 53:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm not saying that that's wrong for it was for me, it was a great decision.
• 53:07
  SPEAKER_01: Is I was able to not put the band-aid on it for me, I was able to fix it and get to that deep level of here's what I need to be doing.
• 53:15
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, my pops rest in peace.
• 53:16
  SPEAKER_04: He he struggled with anxiety and depression, but he did not exercise.
• 53:21
  SPEAKER_04: And I think for me, when I when I and I'm very I I'm not like on playground, I'm not gonna be like, you know, fireman of the month, but like I I want to keep myself in good shape.
• 53:33
  SPEAKER_04: And yeah, um, you know, and when I don't exercise, I and I take usually two rest days, one one to two rest days a week.
• 53:41
  SPEAKER_04: When I don't, if I ever get off track, like if I I'm travel next week, like I still make sure I do something.
• 53:46
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 53:47
  SPEAKER_04: Because I don't, once I get off that habit, and then if I'm not getting those demons out, I'm you know, not demons, I'm not getting those like endorphins out.
• 53:54
  SPEAKER_04: I'm not the best version of me.
• 53:56
  SPEAKER_04: And I think like it's easy to tell yourself the excuse, well, you're trial, you're in this.
• 54:00
  SPEAKER_04: True, but even if you did 30 push-ups in the hotel room, right?
• 54:04
  SPEAKER_04: Better than nothing.
• 54:08
  SPEAKER_04: One question I was gonna ask, you mentioned in the very beginning, you and your wife are working on a business.
• 54:12
  SPEAKER_04: Is that something we can share?
• 54:13
  SPEAKER_04: Is it in is it is secret mode, or do you want to talk about it?
• 54:17
  SPEAKER_01: It's uh it's not secret mode.
• 54:18
  SPEAKER_01: We're building over here, it's a uh members-only experience and it's a uh it's a speakeasy.
• 54:24
  SPEAKER_01: And so where I'm sitting right now, I've got my uh well, we have nine office locations around the country, but the one I'm in is right over here.
• 54:31
  SPEAKER_01: Uh we're on a in a building, in our a building that we built in 2016, and then we got the podcast studio, and then we get this members-only experience over here.
• 54:40
  SPEAKER_01: So one of the things that we'll do is, and this, you know, this helps us help our clients achieve a future greater than their past.
• 54:47
  SPEAKER_01: And that that's why this whole thing works together.
• 54:49
  SPEAKER_01: And so we'll create that and we'll create these experiences, like whether it's professional athletes or big-time business leaders, they'll come in, do a podcast, we'll walk across the hall, go to the speakeasy, you know, kind of have a QA forum type deal with them.
• 55:04
  SPEAKER_01: And now these business leaders are you know surrounded by people that they may not get to interact with every single day because it's you know, they came on the podcast or something.
• 55:12
  SPEAKER_01: So that's what we want to do is create these experiences that are unforgettable for people and help them achieve a future greater than your past, um, and do that through our wealth management firm, through our podcast, and then through uh what's called beyond, which is go beyond your own self-limiting beliefs, right?
• 55:26
  SPEAKER_01: Go beyond your own expectations, go beyond what you think is possible.
• 55:30
  SPEAKER_01: And uh, we always say live the beyond, man, and do that.
• 55:34
  SPEAKER_01: So it's fun because my wife, um, when we built this building, she she did a lot of the design work, and then all of a sudden it turned into uh her friend saying, Hey, can you help me with our family room?
• 55:43
  SPEAKER_01: And can you help me with this?
• 55:45
  SPEAKER_01: And then it turned into a business for her and a passion.
• 55:47
  SPEAKER_01: She didn't go to school for that.
• 55:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um, she got her master's in speech pathology, and now she runs an entire interior design uh firm with her friend, and they do jobs all over town, and and she's doing this one, and uh, she's doing a great job.
• 56:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I can hear the uh tape measure you know running around right now, doing stuff.
• 56:04
  SPEAKER_01: She's laying out furniture and taping it down and all that stuff.
• 56:06
  SPEAKER_01: So it's been awesome, man.
• 56:08
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for asking.
• 56:08
  SPEAKER_04: Is she more handy than you?
• 56:10
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 56:12
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 56:12
  SPEAKER_01: I can change the light bulb.
• 56:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm pretty good at changing light bulbs.
• 56:15
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, welcome to the team, but we cry and we suck at fixing things.
• 56:19
  SPEAKER_04: Welcome to the board.
• 56:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean, I'm even the guy, like I'll hold the picture up and then, but she's the one that you will will hang the picture, like she'll physically, you know, do it.
• 56:28
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not embarrassed to say it.
• 56:29
  SPEAKER_01: It's we know about our strengths and weaknesses.
• 56:31
  SPEAKER_01: I know what I know what lane I play in.
• 56:32
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, how fat I always tell my buddies who can fix stuff.
• 56:35
  SPEAKER_04: How many words can you type a minute?
• 56:37
  SPEAKER_01: Right, exactly.
• 56:38
  SPEAKER_04: How many people can you speak in front of without crop crap?
• 56:41
  SPEAKER_04: Exactly right.
• 56:41
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that's that's my game, bro.
• 56:43
  SPEAKER_04: That's my game.
• 56:44
  SPEAKER_04: Um, if people want to learn about visionary wealth management or advisors, if they want to find apologize for that.
• 56:52
  SPEAKER_04: If you want to learn about visionary wealth advisors, they want to learn more about Brett, the leader, the person, the podcast.
• 56:57
  SPEAKER_04: Tell me what's the best way I can help people find you and your company.
• 57:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, uh, visionarywealth advisors.com is our website.
• 57:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um, circuitofsuccess.com is our podcast.
• 57:07
  SPEAKER_01: I actually have Brett Gilloland.com is where you go there and you'll find Visionary.
• 57:12
  SPEAKER_01: You'll find our podcast.
• 57:13
  SPEAKER_01: You'll find our um charity my wife and I started in 2007 for cancer called Swing for Hope, F-O-R-E.
• 57:20
  SPEAKER_01: Things that you scream when you're golfing.
• 57:22
  SPEAKER_01: I don't, but you do.
• 57:23
  SPEAKER_01: And uh, and so it's called swingforhope.org is the website, and we do a golf event, we do a rock for hope event with bands.
• 57:31
  SPEAKER_01: We like to have fun.
• 57:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so that's our charity.
• 57:34
  SPEAKER_01: We we help uh the local hospital here in town and we help local families uh here in town.
• 57:39
  SPEAKER_01: So all that stuff is there, and then beyond, I don't think it's added there yet, but we got beyond and we got beyond media group.
• 57:45
  SPEAKER_01: We're helping uh individuals start their own podcast through a media company I started, and and so we're helping them with all the stuff that I've learned and failed at over the last 415 episodes.
• 57:54
  SPEAKER_01: If they want to do it to get better, we either teach them or we'll do it for them.
• 57:59
  SPEAKER_04: So cool.
• 58:00
  SPEAKER_04: Um, can we learn more about Swing for Hope real quick if people want to learn ways to donate or give to that?
• 58:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 58:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 58:06
  SPEAKER_01: So my wife's mom, grandma, and two of her ants were all diagnosed with breast cancer in about a six or seven month period.
• 58:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 58:13
  SPEAKER_01: Back in 2003, um, one of the ants unfortunately did not make it.
• 58:17
  SPEAKER_01: My mother-in-law is an absolute beast, and she's been uh kicking its ass since 2003.
• 58:23
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously, some days are better than others, but she's literally been you know fighting it for a long, long time.
• 58:27
  SPEAKER_01: And you would never know it, man.
• 58:29
  SPEAKER_01: She's got a great personality and a great attitude.
• 58:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but that just it keeps it going, right?
• 58:33
  SPEAKER_01: Keeps it keeps it going for us.
• 58:35
  SPEAKER_01: The the passion behind it.
• 58:36
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, we started our charity uh in 2007, and six weeks later, uh my dad was diagnosed with with cancer.
• 58:44
  SPEAKER_01: Fast forward a year later, her dad was diagnosed with cancer.
• 58:47
  SPEAKER_01: My mom's had some stuff in the last year that she was dealing with in the stomach.
• 58:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so it's just, you know, then friends and family, aunts, uncles, you know, just somebody, you know, I was every time I speak in public about it, I'll say, raise your hand or stand up if you've been impacted by cancer.
• 59:01
  SPEAKER_01: And the entire room stands up, right?
• 59:03
  SPEAKER_01: And so we're just trying to do our part, man, in our communities.
• 59:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I was I always say if you if you make a living from a community, you better give back to that community.
• 59:10
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what we try to do is give back for that.
• 59:13
  SPEAKER_04: Love it, man.
• 59:13
  SPEAKER_04: That's so cool.
• 59:14
  SPEAKER_04: I'll make sure that swingforhope.org, you said, yes, is in the show notes as well.
• 59:19
  SPEAKER_04: People, if you're and this is is this just in St.
• 59:22
  SPEAKER_04: Louis or is this nationwide?
• 59:24
  SPEAKER_01: Uh yeah, well, it's mostly in St.
• 59:25
  SPEAKER_01: Louis.
• 59:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but we're, you know, again, cancer's everywhere, right?
• 59:28
  SPEAKER_01: So we do what we can to help anybody.
• 59:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but we we try to because all the money comes in from local stuff.
• 59:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so we try to help the local community uh from the money that we raise.
• 59:39
  SPEAKER_04: So cool.
• 59:39
  SPEAKER_04: That's awesome.
• 59:40
  SPEAKER_04: You guys are doing that.
• 59:41
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and then before we get into lightning round, try to go random on you and let you out of here.
• 59:45
  SPEAKER_04: If you were to summarize kind of everything we've talked about as dads today, that if we could put put them into like themes that dads or moms or grandpas or anybody who's listening can say, Man, I learned these two or three things that were really, really spot on, and I needed that time.
• 1:00:00
  SPEAKER_04: In my life to hear these things.
• 1:00:01
  SPEAKER_04: I'm glad I tuned in to listen to Casey and Brett.
• 1:00:03
  SPEAKER_04: Tell me what would be some two or three actionable things that dads can take from our episode today.
• 1:00:08
  SPEAKER_01: Well, there's a lot that I would say, but I would sum it up this way, and I say it to my kids every night before we go to bed is dream big, believe big, and give big.
• 1:00:16
  SPEAKER_01: And uh if we dream big and we write it down and we dream it and we write it down and we dream it and we keep writing it down, I write my goals down every single day.
• 1:00:25
  SPEAKER_01: Uh my 90-day goals, I write them down every day.
• 1:00:27
  SPEAKER_01: So if I write my goals down every day and you don't even look at them or write them down, who's got a better chance of winning?
• 1:00:33
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 1:00:34
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 1:00:34
  SPEAKER_01: The person that writes them down.
• 1:00:35
  SPEAKER_01: So dream big, believe big, because once you dream it, now I've got to believe it.
• 1:00:39
  SPEAKER_01: Because if you don't believe it, you'll never take action on it.
• 1:00:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:00:42
  SPEAKER_01: And then once I believe it, then I also have to give big, right?
• 1:00:45
  SPEAKER_01: Give to your team, give to your employees, give to your community, give to your family, right?
• 1:00:49
  SPEAKER_01: All the things you got to do, give and give big.
• 1:00:53
  SPEAKER_04: Gold, brother.
• 1:00:54
  SPEAKER_04: Hence the belief sound behind me.
• 1:00:56
  SPEAKER_04: But I'm gonna this is I'm gonna steal that and give you a shout-out.
• 1:00:58
  SPEAKER_04: But that is a new way.
• 1:00:59
  SPEAKER_04: I'm gonna say goodnight to my kids every night.
• 1:01:01
  SPEAKER_04: So um thanks for it.
• 1:01:02
  SPEAKER_01: It's funny, I made a video about this um about three months ago.
• 1:01:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I walked out of my 10-year-old's room, probably had something in my mind.
• 1:01:11
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't say it, and I hear from the room, I'm the most shocked person in the house right now.
• 1:01:18
  SPEAKER_01: He's 10, and I'm like, so it caught my curiosity, right?
• 1:01:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I go back in, I put my head, I'm like, what are you talking about?
• 1:01:25
  SPEAKER_01: He's like, Dad, you didn't say dream big, believe big, and give big.
• 1:01:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm the most shocked person in the house that you didn't say it.
• 1:01:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, I'm like, dude, that's amazing.
• 1:01:35
  SPEAKER_01: And like how we speak to ourselves matters.
• 1:01:37
  SPEAKER_01: And then we started talking about it, and he goes, Are you gonna make a video on that?
• 1:01:42
  SPEAKER_01: Let's go.
• 1:01:43
  SPEAKER_01: Accountable.
• 1:01:44
  SPEAKER_01: So I made a little short little video for social media on my son calling me out.
• 1:01:48
  SPEAKER_01: But it's like, what not only do how we talk to ourselves, right?
• 1:01:50
  SPEAKER_01: What we talked about earlier, those guys on our shoulders, how we talk to ourselves, but how do we talk to other people?
• 1:01:55
  SPEAKER_01: Our kids being one of them, right?
• 1:01:56
  SPEAKER_01: So do you think they believe big?
• 1:01:58
  SPEAKER_01: You're damn right, right?
• 1:01:59
  SPEAKER_01: Are they dreaming big?
• 1:02:00
  SPEAKER_01: Are they giving big?
• 1:02:01
  SPEAKER_01: Let's hope.
• 1:02:02
  SPEAKER_01: Where is that video?
• 1:02:03
  SPEAKER_01: Uh it's on social media on Instagram or on YouTube.
• 1:02:06
  SPEAKER_01: I'll I'll find it on Instagram and send it to me.
• 1:02:09
  SPEAKER_04: Please do.
• 1:02:10
  SPEAKER_04: Please do.
• 1:02:11
  SPEAKER_04: Um, awesome, man.
• 1:02:12
  SPEAKER_04: I I've taken a ton of notes.
• 1:02:14
  SPEAKER_04: Um, it's now time, Brett, to go into the lightning round.
• 1:02:17
  SPEAKER_04: We'll make sure that you are linked in all these things, by the way.
• 1:02:19
  SPEAKER_04: But this is where I show you the negative hits of taking too many hits in college, not bong hits, but football hits.
• 1:02:24
  SPEAKER_04: Your job is to answer these questions, hopefully, as quickly as you can.
• 1:02:27
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 1:02:28
  SPEAKER_04: My job is to get a giggle out of you.
• 1:02:31
  SPEAKER_01: I like this.
• 1:02:32
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 1:02:32
  SPEAKER_04: True or false, in doing my research, you loved playing orange top flights.
• 1:02:37
  SPEAKER_01: False.
• 1:02:38
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 1:02:38
  SPEAKER_04: Um, true or false, your favorite movie was Beaches.
• 1:02:42
  SPEAKER_04: False.
• 1:02:43
  SPEAKER_04: True or false, your buddies at your club call you judge snails.
• 1:02:47
  SPEAKER_04: False.
• 1:02:47
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 1:02:48
  SPEAKER_04: I almost lie.
• 1:02:49
  SPEAKER_04: I'm giggling at my own joke.
• 1:02:50
  SPEAKER_04: You're a okay.
• 1:02:51
  SPEAKER_04: That doesn't count.
• 1:02:52
  SPEAKER_04: Um, if I came to your house for dinner tonight, tell me what we'd have for dinner.
• 1:02:57
  SPEAKER_01: Am I cooking or is my wife cooking?
• 1:02:59
  SPEAKER_01: If I'm cooking, you're gonna have uh uh frozen pizza or tacos.
• 1:03:03
  SPEAKER_01: If my wife is cooking, we're gonna have like barbecue chicken, mashed potatoes, broccoli, and a salad.
• 1:03:09
  SPEAKER_04: I'm full.
• 1:03:10
  SPEAKER_04: Your wife is cooking.
• 1:03:11
  SPEAKER_04: She's gonna cook.
• 1:03:12
  SPEAKER_01: My kids love our mashed potatoes.
• 1:03:14
  SPEAKER_01: That sounds really good.
• 1:03:15
  SPEAKER_04: Um, I'll have to do a really big, big workout the next day.
• 1:03:19
  SPEAKER_04: That's right.
• 1:03:20
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, if you were to go on vacation right now, no kids, tell me where you and your wife are going.
• 1:03:24
  SPEAKER_01: We are going to, because we've never been up there, we're gonna go to uh the Grand Tetons and Jackson Hole.
• 1:03:30
  SPEAKER_01: We're actually gonna do that this summer with the kids, but that's where we would go.
• 1:03:33
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, sounds fun.
• 1:03:35
  SPEAKER_04: Um, tell me your favorite comedy movie ever.
• 1:03:38
  SPEAKER_01: Christmas Vacation or uh yeah, Christmas Vacation.
• 1:03:43
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 1:03:43
  SPEAKER_04: The most impactful book you've ever read is uh The Rhythm of Life by Matthew Kelly.
• 1:03:49
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 1:03:49
  SPEAKER_04: If there was to be a book written about your life, tell me the title.
• 1:03:54
  SPEAKER_01: Have Faith.
• 1:03:56
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 1:03:56
  SPEAKER_04: Now, Brett, believe it or not, have faith.
• 1:03:59
  SPEAKER_04: I was going to the Atlanta airport on the way home and I was looking for the book, Have Faith, sold out.
• 1:04:04
  SPEAKER_04: I came home to Seattle, try to get the book, sold out.
• 1:04:06
  SPEAKER_04: Went to Amazon, sold out.
• 1:04:08
  SPEAKER_04: The book is crushing it.
• 1:04:09
  SPEAKER_04: Everybody wants to read it.
• 1:04:10
  SPEAKER_04: So now Netflix has found out about they're gonna make a movie.
• 1:04:13
  SPEAKER_04: Um they've said that you're gonna be the casting director, so I need to know who's gonna star Brett Gilliland in this critically acclaimed hit new movie on Netflix.
• 1:04:21
  SPEAKER_01: I get told all the time I look like Aaron Rodgers, but he's a uh football player.
• 1:04:26
  SPEAKER_01: So I would call uh what's the guy that did good news during COVID?
• 1:04:30
  SPEAKER_01: His um Kaczynski.
• 1:04:32
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, from The Office?
• 1:04:34
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 1:04:35
  unknown: Yeah.
• 1:04:36
  SPEAKER_04: He's good.
• 1:04:36
  SPEAKER_04: I like him.
• 1:04:37
  SPEAKER_04: He's good.
• 1:04:38
  SPEAKER_04: I like him.
• 1:04:39
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, and then last and most important question tell me two words that would describe your wife.
• 1:04:43
  SPEAKER_01: Ooh, just two words.
• 1:04:46
  SPEAKER_01: Heart and passion.
• 1:04:48
  SPEAKER_04: Boom.
• 1:04:49
  SPEAKER_04: Lighting round's over.
• 1:04:50
  SPEAKER_04: Uh I I encourage the giggle audio, so we'll call that, we'll throw a flag for a legal legal judge.
• 1:04:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm I was thinking, I'm like, damn, I don't know where he's going here.
• 1:04:58
  SPEAKER_01: We'll see.
• 1:04:58
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, they're all false so far, so maybe we'll get one true.
• 1:05:02
  SPEAKER_04: Oh boy.
• 1:05:03
  SPEAKER_04: Um actually, last question.
• 1:05:05
  SPEAKER_04: I I I lied.
• 1:05:06
  SPEAKER_04: Tell me your dream for some.
• 1:05:09
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, living or dead?
• 1:05:11
  SPEAKER_01: Don't matter.
• 1:05:12
  SPEAKER_04: You you choose.
• 1:05:14
  SPEAKER_01: Jesus.
• 1:05:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um I'd like to play golf with my dad one more time.
• 1:05:20
  SPEAKER_01: And uh trying to decide between Tiger, Tom, and Michael.
• 1:05:26
  SPEAKER_01: Michael Jordan or Michael Phelps.
• 1:05:28
  SPEAKER_01: Michael Jordan.
• 1:05:29
  SPEAKER_01: There we go.
• 1:05:31
  SPEAKER_04: You're gonna be able to work.
• 1:05:33
  SPEAKER_04: I was gonna say you better bring cash and a lot of cigars.
• 1:05:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:05:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 1:05:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 1:05:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's a great question.
• 1:05:39
  SPEAKER_01: I might steal that question.
• 1:05:40
  SPEAKER_04: Do it.
• 1:05:41
  SPEAKER_04: Hey, every every good idea is stolen from someone else.
• 1:05:44
  SPEAKER_04: That's right.
• 1:05:44
  SPEAKER_04: We started with Jesus.
• 1:05:45
  SPEAKER_04: So uh this has been a blast, man.
• 1:05:48
  SPEAKER_04: I'm so grateful.
• 1:05:48
  SPEAKER_04: Our past across.
• 1:05:49
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you, Nick and BookTinkers, for connecting us today.
• 1:05:52
  SPEAKER_04: Um, I've learned a ton.
• 1:05:53
  SPEAKER_04: I have a page full notes, hopefully you guys do as well.
• 1:05:55
  SPEAKER_04: If you found this episode impactful, um, do us a favor, leave us a review wherever you consume your podcast, or even better yet, go to that little three dots and wherever you list your podcast and hit share link and just share with a friend.
• 1:06:06
  SPEAKER_04: Um, let's try to impact other dads and become better leaders of their home.
• 1:06:09
  SPEAKER_04: Lean into these superpowers that I'm passionate about, and I think Brett is too, about being more vulnerable, being more humble, being more curious.
• 1:06:16
  SPEAKER_04: Um, let's adopt these six F's.
• 1:06:18
  SPEAKER_04: And then lastly, let's dream big, believe big, and give big, everybody.
• 1:06:21
  SPEAKER_04: Thanks again, Brett, for spending time with me today.
• 1:06:23
  SPEAKER_04: It's been an honor.
• 1:06:24
  SPEAKER_04: Um learn more about you.
• 1:06:25
  SPEAKER_04: Best lucky in the future.
• 1:06:26
  SPEAKER_01: Really appreciate your time.