Latest / Harder Than Life / 7: Feel Your Feelings w/ Megan Gregory

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7: Feel Your Feelings w/ Megan Gregory · Harder Than Life

• 0:00
  I'm Kelly Siegel and this is harder than life a podcast about self-love self-awareness business and health We tell outrageous stories and boil everything down to simple practical advice. You can start using today. Let's get living
• 0:15
  Welcome back to the Harder Than Life podcast. I'm Kelly Siegel. We are truly blessed with today's guest. She is simply stunning. Not only her beautiful looks, but her wonderful smile and persona lights up every room. She's the chief brand ambassador for the Skinny Butcher. She is a Food Network winner, supermarket steakout, and owner of the Culinary Nest.
• 0:35
  her food blogging skills, and not to mention critic of fine food. She loves to garden and is a master photographer and in between flies an invisible jet. In case I'm not clear, ladies and gentlemen, we have the real Wonder Woman here. Megan Gregory, welcome. Thank you so much for having me. I'm going to start off with what is Skinny Butcher and how did you become part of it?
• 0:58
  Yeah, so Skinny Butcher is a new Michigan-based company. It's actually founded by the former founders of Garden Fresh Gourmet or Garden Fresh Salsa, which began in Ferndale, sold to Campbell's in 2015 for $231 million, because that's the number that felt right to them, which I absolutely love that they added in that extra one. So Skinny Butcher is a plant-based chicken product line that is actually launching nationally right out of the gate. So we are in the middle of it right now. It is...
• 1:26
  This 2023 is going to be a very big year for this company, and you're going to start seeing it everywhere. So I'm very blessed to be a part of it.
• 1:34
  Plant-based chicken. Plant-based chicken. Tell me how that even is possible. So let me tell you about this really fast. Because when I was first brought in, I'm like, well, you know I'm a carnivore, right? As you're bringing me in to represent this company. So our messaging is not about being vegan and vegetarian solely. That's not at all what we're pushing. It is just to skinny up the carbon footprint of our planet, which is where skinny butcher comes from. So by eating...
• 2:03
  25% living a flexitarian lifestyle, 25% less animal protein. We will skinny up our carbon footprint of our planet and everyone wins. You are, I said you were beautiful. You're brilliant. You are so smart. A flexitarian. A flexitarian. I can stand behind that. And you, I see you do all kinds of, um,
• 2:24
  uh, advertisements for like, uh, what was the maker's mark? And I'm like, man, this, she is amazing. So you, you, you, so it's so elegantly flows off of your, off of your tongue. So I'm, I'm really happy for you. What's your story and why does your story matter?
• 2:39
  Yeah. Thinking about business harder than life, things that happen in life that are really hard and how you move forward and, you know, through that time. For me, my journey into the culinary world, into all that I am doing started from a place of feeling completely lost. The direction of my life.
• 3:02
  changed, um, and not to my own choice or doing. Um, I was trying to be a mother. I was going through infertility treatments, struggles, um, about five years of that. And at the end, unfortunately, a family did not come to fruition out of those efforts. However, I found my passion and purpose instead. I asked, I had to ask myself if I'm not going to be a mom, who am I going to be? That's okay. If I'm not going to be a mom, I can accept that. And that's not what's meant for
• 3:32
  And I found during that time just a lot of solace in the kitchen. I found myself just in there messing around like you would have thought I had the biggest epiphany that you can make things from scratch. Like I can make tomato soup not from from actual tomatoes, not like the can you buy at the store. And I just had so much fun just diving in teaching myself how to do fresh pasta and it just was so fun.
• 3:53
  therapeutic and my husband's a foodie through and through when we first met I was the pickiest eater um I literally lived on like eggs and mac and cheese and plain cheeseburgers like no condiments no I don't know what I don't know what was wrong with me but of course I'm trying to impress them when we're dating so he's like let's try Indian let's try Vietnamese let's try and I'm like oh gosh I don't none of that is sounding great to me but then I would take a bite and I'm like oh
• 4:19
  This is amazing. What have I been missing my whole life? So through that time, I just really threw myself into the food world. And I thought I'd start a hobby. Like the Culinary Nest started as a complete hobby page. I just was posting a lot of food on my personal one. I'm like, eh, not everyone wants to see that. So I'll start this other page. And from there, life completely changed.
• 4:39
  I've noticed, and that's actually going to be my next question. I was going to apologize to everybody that you're happily married. And I want to spend a little more time talking about the fact that you weren't blessed with children and despite trying for five years. Tell me about that. How did you deal with it? And what's next? Yeah. I mean, there was a lot of hope during that time. Yeah.
• 5:05
  We tried all the different efforts and, you know, it's heartbreaking. It was very heartbreaking. It was one of those times every time you saw a negative or things didn't go the way you had hoped they did or were going to, you know, you go through just a phase of deep sadness. And we're...
• 5:24
  wonder and questioning of why, you know, it's all those, all those things. Like, why is it so easy for others? And why are we having such a hard time? There's all those questions. And then it's also about the future and like, how long do I want to sit in this space of trying to make something come to fruition that maybe isn't God's plan for me? And that's okay. Like, but I think until I got my mindset to that point, for me, I knew what,
• 5:53
  what I was willing to go through and how many times until I accepted and rather than spending, you know, more and more years in that space. Um, and when I hit that, that last time and it didn't happen, I think Mark and I both collectively were like, okay,
• 6:11
  You know, let's just let's this can't be our whole life revolving. This can't be our whole marriage revolving around trying to make this happen. We're very we love each other. Our life is beautiful. That would have been an amazing addition. Is it going to make or break our lives or our happiness? No. Let's so let's let's pivot and move move on from that. So I think honestly, I'm kind of one of those very decisive people. Once I make up my mind, I make up my mind. And I did.
• 6:36
  You just used pivot as an example of not having a child, which we've had conversations in the past about it. And you didn't go as deep as I wanted to, but I want to go to this one and ask you, what specific piece of advice would you give another gal in the same situation you just went through?
• 6:56
  Yeah. Um, I think my advice is knowing that life is still so beautiful if you allow yourself to see it. I think it's a personal choice. It is something like there's a lot of things in life we do not control. Right. I think that's one of them when you meet your soulmate is one of them. Um, yeah.
• 7:17
  when you pass away isn't necessarily one of them. So things you do choose are who you surround yourself with. Where do you live? How do you spend your time? What brings you happiness? What are your hobbies? Where do you work? What do you do? I think those are all things that are so in our control. And as soon as you can wrap your mind around that and say, I'm taking control back of my life and moving forward into that, that's the best advice I can give.
• 7:46
  So good, Megan. You just defined what harder than life is about. Life didn't pan out the way it was supposed to, and you didn't cry in your beer. You didn't woe as me. You didn't act a victim, and that's why I said that you're beautiful both inside and out. I'm really honored to call you a friend. I still ask questions, too. It makes me think, like...
• 8:08
  why you know i mean people uh less deserving and then again you talk about deserves who deserves anything um but you know we have other mutual friends that are in the same situation that and you just shake your head like what is god's plan are you religious i am i am yes
• 8:26
  So did this bring you closer to your higher power, whatever that is? I think it's because of my belief in my higher power and God is what got me through it. Like, I know that your plan is greater. I know that. I don't think I have to understand everything, but I have to do everything in my power, right, to make the choices to move forward. And.
• 8:47
  to make this life what it should be. We, as far as we know, we only have one of them. So you gotta, you gotta create it. I love that. I say it, you know, when they always say we only die once, no, we, we, we, we, I mean, they say we only live once. No. And I think we live every day. So I love that attitude. It's intoxicating. I can feel it coming across the table and it makes me super excited because that's literally the awareness that I'm trying to create with the harder than life series, if you will. Yeah. Um,
• 9:17
  what were some of the daily habits, tips and tricks and survival techniques that you did? And what were some of the bad things that you did to cope? Because in today's society, we tap out from uncomfortability, pain at the slightest feeling of that. I mean, things don't go our way, boom, we're into alcohol, we're into drugs, we're into, and then that spirals into a hamster wheel.
• 9:44
  Talk about that because that's, you know, we're human. And, you know, the logic is I would guess that you had a little bit of drinking here and there. But talk about it so we can humanize what I would term terrible situation. Yeah. I mean, one thing I wanted to add, and I will get into it.
• 10:04
  your question. Um, it is important to feel your feelings. So I did, you know, I wasn't by no means like, boom, I'm over it. I'm just gonna, I'm changing everything and I'm going to be so happy. Right. I felt that despair. I felt that that morning I mourned the loss of a life I thought I saw and that's okay. Like, so feel the feelings that by no means are we, yeah. Can we just push that aside and say, and not deal with it? You have to deal with it.
• 10:31
  Megan, that is your gem because we're so, we just resist feeling anything that's uncomfortable. And on the other side of that uncomfortability is the life you want to live. It's all the riches. And the second we feel that we just, we have to cope. Give me a Xanax. Give me whatever that is, whatever your coping skill is. And, and it.
• 10:54
  I talk about that. Keep going. I didn't mean to interrupt. It's just so good. Yeah. I mean, feel it. I definitely, definitely did. I over consume alcohol and go out way too much. You know, for sure. Yes. I mean, I was, gosh, what was that? Like 32 and life felt flipped upside down. Um, I think,
• 11:17
  Becoming pregnant, starting a family, to me, was giving that purpose to slow down, to live more meaningfully, to not chase the party, to not live in the, you know, the immature, young adult lifestyle that most of us go through. Called wisdom. Called wisdom. And you gotta find it. Experience creates wisdom.
• 11:41
  So, yeah, I mean, I definitely, you know, there was a period of time that was definitely still feeling lost. I didn't immediately like, OK, here's my purpose now. And I found that it took trial and error and missteps and, you know.
• 11:58
  I'm going to steal, I think this is an Ed Milad quote. It says, God doesn't call the qualified. He qualifies the called. I love that. You've got great things coming your way. You are an amazing individual.
• 12:14
  uh you know i still gotta laugh about your wedding because it was one of the lowest points that was me not feeling my feelings i had a blast yeah i was honored to be there yeah beautiful you were beautiful the ceremony was beautiful the venue was beautiful but
• 12:29
  man, I'm walking around just to set the stage and I'm going to publicly apologize for my stupidity, but that was me not loving myself and masking and avoiding discomfort that I didn't know I had. So picture me walking around with a picture of beer at a beautiful venue. Not my high point. Clown comes to mind. But part of...
• 12:56
  my change was, is forgiving that person and understanding that that was not who I am. That person was who I was masking and pretending to be thinking that's who everybody liked. Well, now several years after that, several years sober, um, I still see all the same friends and that feels good that they love to see who I am. So the message that you're, that some of you may be crutching with and, and, and persona that you're,
• 13:24
  out there with the people are still going to love you when you're your true authentic self and you really get to see people's true colors when times get tough and we're seeing what you're made of and and i'm proud of you thank you and i appreciate your apology but you never needed to that was such always love you what were you put on this earth to do that's a deep that's a big question um
• 13:51
  I think my mission right now with my messaging and everything that I do is working your way through uncertainty and finding the possibility on the other end. If I can inspire someone to take, whether it's pain or just feeling lost, maybe you're just confused in life, maybe not this big traumatic thing happened to you, and find...
• 14:14
  the light on the other side of it and go for it. I think that's the other thing. We all have ideas. We all have things where like, I would love to do this, right? How many people actually do it? Because you're afraid. You don't want to take the risk. What if you fail? Somebody's going to make fun of you. Someone's going to make fun of you. What's everyone going to think of me? And how many amazing ideas have been out in the world and never come to fruition because...
• 14:38
  of any of those things. So if I can challenge you, if I can inspire you to know that you can take that risk and walk through it and you're going to have missteps and that, and accept that that's totally okay. And you know, you can always move and maneuver and change and it's going to work out. Like if you're doing it from your heart and that's where your passion lies in your purpose, go for it.
• 15:02
  I love that. I love that. So you don't get to your level of success. Let's take a step there. What is your definition of success? I think being fulfilled in what you do.
• 15:18
  And knowing that you're serving, for me, it's serving community. So I love connecting people. So that's my service. And I do it through the culinary space. But it's definitely not a monetary amount. I can tell you that. I don't, money comes as a result of doing what I love. I'm not chasing money and trying to figure out what to do to make it. Does that make sense?
• 15:41
  Well, it's the same thing with the heart of the life. Portion of every dollar that we bring in, we donate to charity. This is for charity. I run a successful IT company that pays for all this, so I'm blessed with that. This is to give back and create awareness. There is...
• 15:57
  I'm not looking to buy a jet, a new boat, a new house. I got everything I want. I just want to create awareness and show and model the behaviors that you're telling us about right now. And that's probably why we're closer now, because we've both gone down the same path, which, you know, knowing your husband and what he and I used to do, it's nothing short of miraculous. And I'm super stoked to see what's next for all of us. Yeah, I am too. Because with that kind of...
• 16:27
  energy and attitude, the sky's the limit. And I'm going to think of crazier, more silly things to do. And as you excel, we'll do it together. So anything that I personally or the Heart of the Life brand can do to help in any way, shape or form, you have our full backing. Thank you.
• 16:48
  We have to set boundaries in this world. So talk about your non-negotiables and boundaries, what they mean to you and how they serve you.
• 16:57
  Yeah, I mean, I'm sure you've heard the quote, like, if it's not, I'm not going to swear on here because I don't put myself up. It's up to you. Yes, it's an F no. Like that's. You can say heck yes. Yeah, there you go. I think that that's honestly how I think of everything. If I'm not fully excited, if I don't feel like it aligns with my morals, my values, that's really how I base my beliefs.
• 17:20
  work boundaries, I would say. You know, I don't think that you should do something you're not totally sold on. Boundaries in life, I am a very empathetic person. I've had to learn how to not give all of my energy to everyone else and in
• 17:41
  save some for myself. I'm a great listener. I love listening. I love helping. But sometimes we're not equipped to be that person for other people. And I think knowing that boundary, like whatever space you are in your life, if you don't have that to give, you need to take care of yourself first. I think I've really taken a step back and learned
• 18:05
  Just to know my own feelings and my own space and how to take care of myself during that time. So for instance, when I am completely stressed out and I have a list that's going down a page long and I'm starting to feel that anxiety, I go sit on the couch for three hours. Is that going to push forward my list in that moment? No. But is it going to allow me to breathe and get back into that space of like, okay.
• 18:28
  I took some time and guess what? It's all still there waiting. It's all going to still get done. It's those moments of like knowing when to step back for yourself, knowing to relax. Teach me this, please. Don't work to live. Wait, don't live to work, work to live. That's a big boundary of mine. But I'm also like, I want to see how far I can go always. So I take a lot on.
• 18:51
  The moment that my body says it needs rest or it needs something, that's when I go harder, hence harder than life. That is when I know I need to kick it in. And lately I've been doing what you're doing. It's like I need to take a minute. I've been taking, I call it the Seagull self-care Saturdays. I love that. And I just go to the gym and I take my time. I relax. I go in the steam room. I go in the hot tub. It is...
• 19:18
  It's necessary. I go, I was just teasing my assistant. I think she's trying to kill me this week with my schedule. Every minute of every day right now, I am booked solid. And then it's so solid. I haven't been able to get to Florida, my house in Florida. It's just, it's, but I love it. Yeah. Because for that reason of giving back, it's all I can think about is writing the checks that I want to write to the charity at the end of the year. And that's, I have the ridiculous focus on that.
• 19:45
  What is your focus, if we haven't asked it 17 times, what is your focus for your latest endeavor? So my focus for the latest endeavor, I am entering into another year of very unknown. My focus is just to do the best that I can. So I've been hired as the consumer face of the entire company, which is, I'm the Tief brand ambassador, so I have that role. This is Skinny Butcher, right? This is Skinny Butcher, yeah. So...
• 20:12
  Where are they based out of Michigan? So we're, yep. Our headquarters is in Birmingham. Our manufacturing is out of LA, which is at the golden West food group. It's a huge manufacturer in LA. We have PR firms in LA PR firms here. So much going on. We're already in HEBs in Texas. We're in all the Costco's and Gordon's around here. Skinny butcher. I've never noticed it until you start doing it. I'm going to try it out.
• 20:36
  It's literally emerging right now. Like it's like our press release goes out on Tuesday. We've got to find a better way, a more efficient way to manufacture our foods than what we're doing right now. I mean, the farm, the American farmer, the ecosystem, the way we're pumping it with steroids. I just, you know.
• 20:56
  That's really the plant-based movement. I mean, all those things, you know, plant-based foods are, bless you, are, you know, use so much less water, so much less land, so much less carbon emission. Um...
• 21:12
  The steroids you're mentioning, they don't need that. This is pea protein. It's made of peas. Why do you think there's cancer? Cancer's got to be coming from what we're... Processed food. Also, what the U.S. allows versus like Europe. Like the FDA, the list. Like if you look at the list, I've seen like... This is an example I can think of right now. But like the list of McDonald's fries here versus McDonald's fries in France. The list, our list is this long. Their ingredient list is like five.
• 21:40
  I thought the FDA was more strict here in the United States than it was in the world. Not from my understanding. We let so much more slide into our skin products, into our food, everything we're consuming. So we just interviewed last week a gentleman that has gut health issues. So he talked all about what it's doing. And I tell you, I can always feel I'm a health nut. And I'm so in tune with my body because I don't take anything to alter it.
• 22:08
  And so what I put in for fuel is so important. It is. Like, I can tell if I had Jolly Ranchers last night, I am a, you know, I still got to get my sugar from something. So I get it from Jolly Ranchers and chocolate cake. Can you make chocolate cake? Sure. I'll make you a chocolate cake. I'm going to hold you to that. I will not call myself a baker by any means. I am most definitely a cook. But...
• 22:31
  We have to get Ari, my daughter Ari over. She loves to cook, loves to bake. And I think that there's no better role model than you. Let's do it. And she will come over and lead the charge. 14 years old going on 30. And she's a blast. She's beautiful. Thank you, as you are. All right. What makes you get out of your bed in the morning?
• 22:57
  think my purpose I'm excited to get out of bed in the morning I mean I'm definitely not a morning person let's make sure we keep these two separate things I like I like to sleep and I need my two cups of coffee before I really get going but um you know my family Mark my dogs well not my dogs we lost one of our dogs that was my habit talk about the we have a dog we got a bunny I mean he's hilarious I don't know why I have a bunny at 37 years old but I do he's so cute he has his own
• 23:27
  doodle in the lap. When I first brought him in our golden doodle and him literally fell in love with each other. I don't know how in love they are anymore. Things may have changed as he tried to like mate with my golden doodle for about two months before I got the bunny neutered. It really turned things
• 23:45
  The producer, the producer, die laughing in the other room. Yeah, I have videos. I can show you later. So just at the stage, it's this little, those of you watching video, it's this little bunny, and she's got this gigantic dog. So it's some crazy thing I would try. Yeah, Reese is like 80 pounds. The bunny's four pounds. He's like a little floppy-eared thing. His personality is bigger than anyone in the entire house. It's actually really, he's very entertaining. Yeah.
• 24:10
  So I have a 20 pound cat and a five pound dog and the dog just loves the cat and the cat does not like the dog. So the cat will literally beat up the dog and the dog will look like, hey, I just was trying to play. It's the cutest. I know. Animals are the best. If you could have dinner with one person alive or dead, who would it be and why? Anthony Bourdain. Immediately. I love that.
• 24:36
  loved, love, love and loved him. And he's somebody who not only like my husband and I connected huge over, like when we were dating, like he introduced me to Anthony Bourdain. We watched all the no reservations and parts unknown and all the things. And like, he really inspired me.
• 24:53
  To me, like the community, the way that we are, we're all connected through food. If we can't agree on anything, we can agree that we all eat. We can agree that, you know, on different flavors and ingredients and understand that. It's like a universal language. And he just, the way that he brought the world together where we felt like we were more united was just so special to me. Why do you feel like...
• 25:22
  Brilliant minds like that guy. I just did a post the other day about, you know, money doesn't make the world go round and the happiness starts from within and out. You know, the story of Anthony Bernie, he's a, I say evil genius, but I mean evil in a good way. He was brilliant. Why in a million years would it come to a tragic end in your opinion?
• 25:44
  The way that I, I mean, this is all speculation, right? This is my opinion. There's two friends talking. I think that he lived a very lonely life if I had to look in. And it's interesting because I've read his biographies. I've read books that have come out since his passing. I've watched his documentary. Yeah.
• 25:59
  he traveled, he, he, it's almost like, in my opinion, I feel like he's felt like he saw everything that there was to see. And he talked to everyone there was to talk to. And like, I just think he, I think that world of traveling and, and that job even could feel very isolating and lonely. And as I watched the episodes, especially like the later ones, um, um,
• 26:24
  Of Parts Unknown, I believe is his last one. I believe so too. I believe. I don't even know. I have his book. A mutual friend, Kristen, gave it to me. She's like, you got to read this. And I haven't read it yet. It's in my pile of books. He has a bunch of, he has a lot of books. And then there's also like his old, his producer who was with him for like 26 years, wrote a book about his experience with him. That's the one that I read that I've read.
• 26:48
  I usually know a lot about a little or a little bit about a lot. I'm sorry. How did he die? He took his own life. It was in, I was, I want to say he was in France or England. Was it pills? And I think he hung himself. Oh my, it's horrible. I asked you that specific question because I believe we're coming out of suicide awareness month. By the time this episode comes out, either way you matter.
• 27:15
  If you are going through this, going through anything you matter, reach out to me. My email address is everywhere. My phone number is everywhere. You have so much value in the world. Absolutely. And there's so much more to life than...
• 27:32
  than to end it. It's just, it, when I hear that, and you know, I'm going to see Mark later and I heard about his friend and I just feel horrible. Life is so precious. Yeah. We're here for a reason and I just, I can't imagine what people are, what kind of pain somebody's going through to say it's better to not be here. Right. So I just want to create a little awareness in that. You want to, you want to expound about that at all? Absolutely.
• 27:59
  I just, I, you know, I actually have dealt with suicide within my family, my aunt, my grandpa, and my great grandpa, all on my dad's side. So this is something that's very close to home for me. Um, and I've seen the way it affects people. I've seen, you know, I think when, and I think there's a lot of mental illness, right. That that's associated with this. So not always is it in someone in their right mind, which is just devastating. Um,
• 28:26
  But in the end, I think the thought that goes through someone's mind when they're making that devastating decision is that life is better without me in it. And this is going to be better for all of those around me. And there's nothing further from the truth than that thought. So just knowing that you're loved and that's not the case. And moments pass. These moments will pass. There's another day tomorrow. Just make it to it.
• 28:55
  You were remarkable because three people in your family chose to end their life or in some way, shape or form. And here you are on the Heart of Life podcast, ranting and raving about how good life is, which you had every reason to end.
• 29:13
  To be a victim and you didn't. So I just, I just think you're remarkable and I want to keep saying that because that's what this is about. It's this too shall pass. Yeah. Everything shall pass. And the funny thing about it is it'll pass quicker if you just sit in it. That's right. And they, you know, be the buffalo. You walk right straight through the storm and you'll get through it faster. Yeah.
• 29:35
  But all too often people want to medicate and they want to avoid and sweeping something or worse. You made awareness of this too is act like it didn't happen. Sweeping it under the rug. That is the, that might be the worst thing. I don't know which worst, but pretending like it never happened. You're just creating a ticking time bomb. So,
• 29:55
  No, if you need to sit in your sweatpants at home in bed for three days and order DoorDash and binge watch Netflix, you do that. We'll bring it to you. I mean, it's my favorite thing to do ever on my happiest day. You know what brings me to this? You said you like to help people. We tend to best suit helping what we needed most when we were a child. What does that look like for you?
• 30:17
  When I was a child. Yeah. So what's the type of person that you tend to gravitate to helping? Because we have a lot of friends that are, that are in need. So we've helped. So what is that person? There's always a correlation. Like when you date somebody, you'd kind of date the same people. If you're unhealed, there's going to be a correlation to that person. So what have you, and what has it told you about you? Yeah. I think that the people that I tend to reach the most are the ones who feel like,
• 30:47
  lost or insecure. I think insecurity is a really big one, just not having that confidence in themselves to do the big things or to do the small things, whatever that might be. I like to help people who just feel that uncertainty.
• 31:05
  So everybody, basically. Just everybody. Yeah, just you know, really the whole world. So how does Wonder Woman cope with, and I shouldn't say cope, what are your daily rituals? Do you meditate? Walk me through a day, even though you're always on social media and I get to see it, I love it. But tell me behind the scenes, what does Megan use to attack each day to win? Yeah, I mean, like I said, I love my mornings. For me, setting up my day,
• 31:34
  appropriately is like having that hour or two to just wake up and be trying not to jump right on social media and do all of those things I'm a big bath taker that's just I mean I'll sit up in my bathtub for like an hour and a half to me it's like I put on headphones listen to great music music is therapeutic to me I love that long dog walks getting outside getting into nature what type of music do you listen to
• 32:00
  Oh, gosh, I'm all over. I mean, honestly, the only, like, music I don't listen to and I'm just hanging out is probably rap. I mean, I love country. I love oldies. Like, I love Fleetwood Mac. And I love just kind of putting on –
• 32:16
  relaxing, stress-free playlists, and then it finds all those beautiful songs, whether it's like Ed Sheeran or... It's a plethora. It's really a plethora of music. But anything that brings feelings, I like having music that has lyrics that gives a real story or evokes emotion.
• 32:34
  Which is completely the opposite of your husband. Sometimes you're smiling and dancing and sometimes you're like, I felt like bawling in the bathtub and that's okay. Like I love those. Do you journal too? Do you journal those feelings? What do you do with those feelings? I don't journal a lot. I don't, I've, I've tried to be honest. It's not something that I found is like the best or productive outlet for me. I can definitely see why it is for people. Um,
• 32:56
  I just sit in my emotions a lot. I give myself space to think and really think it through. I pray every single night. I can't fall asleep without praying. And I think that's something that really grounds me as well. And just, you know. Does gratitude work into that or is that part of your prayer? My prayer always starts with thanks. Like, thank you for whatever I'm thankful for. Whether it's my house, my health, my home, my dog, my bunny, my marriage. I mean, I think, yeah, always starts with gratitude.
• 33:21
  It's very important. You don't have to be grateful for big things. Literally, I wake up and it's the first thing I do in the morning. I wake up and I think for the good night's sleep or a crappy night's sleep, which happens. I think for my cat that's probably rolling around on me, the bed that I'm sleeping in. For a warm bed. It could be the roof over my head because when I grew up, I didn't have any of those things. I was never safe. So the safety that I feel now is second to none and then to take a step further and be so free. So...
• 33:51
  I think that's a great daily practice, whether you are praying or, you know, maybe that's not your outlet, but having a daily moment of being thankful for what's around you or what's transpiring. Okay, so if you could create one law, what would it be and why? Ooh, one law.
• 34:18
  It always stumps everybody. That is a stumper. And I hate to always tell people what mine is. Mine is just to tell the truth. I believe everybody can deal with the truth. And I think if we just, and also I'm learning this, I listened to this Deepak Chopra this week, and he talked about the magical lie that we tell ourselves. So by telling the truth, not your truth, the truth, just the facts, I think this world would be an easier place to maneuver. Yeah. Well, yeah.
• 34:48
  So that's just mine. So maybe that'll spur something. Oh, gosh. I mean, I think the first thing that comes to mind, I don't even know how to say, like, what the law would actually be, but, like, treating others with respect always. Like, just being respectful or, like, not looking down on other people. There's always... You know, it's the weirdest thing that... I can't believe you just went there because...
• 35:09
  A lot of times, you know, I don't drink alcohol or drugs and I'll be in situations where people are drinking drugs and they're always like, hey, you're looking, don't judge us. And it drives me insane because I'm not judging anybody. And actually, it makes me feel left out because I can be around people like that. And I, I'm not judging you. You're judging you. Well, that's their own insecurity. You can feel it. That's them saying like, ooh, I don't, you know, I'm feeling uncomfortable.
• 35:37
  Because when I had enough, I leave. Yeah. And that's it. I like to still be around my friends that drink. I don't drink because I don't want to. You don't want to, yeah. I'm not going to numb. I wake up every morning and I live a blessed life.
• 35:55
  I'm doing what I want to do. I'm in complete alignment with who I wanted to be when I grew up. And doing this is only furthering that. When I write that check at the end of the year to the three charities, I'm going to do cartwheels. And I've already got the next goal, which is a bigger check. That's funny. Did you ever hear or probably have seen like alcohol is the only thing, the only substance that people ask you why you aren't participating in it rather than...
• 36:20
  I mean, it kind of goes along, to me, it goes along the lines of like, it's really not appropriate, I think we've learned in these days, to say, are you having kids? Well, why are you having kids? You know what I mean? Or why don't you drink? That's weird. Like, why is that so weird? And why is that any of your business also?
• 36:38
  I think that I like the conversation that it facilitates. I think we need to learn how to communicate better without judgment. And furthermore, who decides who's right and who's wrong? When we're judging, that's just our own beliefs that we were raised with. It's not even true. That's where if you listen to Sanjay Gupta, he...
• 37:03
  uh it was it's just he talks about what are these it's a magical lie that we've told ourself to make something have meaning right and it just blew my mind so it was the ed my let uh podcast with him so it's if you can if you haven't heard it check it out no i haven't yeah it's just um i i would just i would listen to it the first day it came out three times
• 37:27
  Because I kept hearing little tidbits that I'm fascinated with the Buddhism stuff and how they look at life and everything is love. And that's my word for the year. Everything's connected. I love that. Like we're connected to the blade of grass that we're stepping on. Everything's energy. Yes, I love that. We were talking about communicating. What are some of your pet peeves of communicating?
• 37:48
  I think unclear communication is a very big pet peeve. We're not communicating at all. In fact, my husband and I are working on this exact thing right now, and this isn't a bad thing. It's just funny you ask that. Communicating in any relationship and any friendship and business and everything in a very clear way, that's honorable to yourself and your own feelings, your own outlook, whatever that might be, and listening with understanding, not from your own perspective.
• 38:18
  space of the way that you see it or experience it, but from the other persons and trying to understand that aspect is so important. And I think it's something we all need to continuously work on, right? We all live our own reality. So it's hard to live somebody else's sometimes. So yeah, for communication, I think it's not sugarcoating it. It's not about being aggressive or
• 38:45
  Well, talk about that sugar coating because a lot of people say, oh, I just, I'm keeping it real. And they're saying something so hurtful. And if it hurts somebody, you probably shouldn't say it. Yeah. And I hate how we do it under the guise we're keeping it real. No, that's projection. I think you can say anything you would like to say, but there's a certain manner to say it to have it be effective and respectful.
• 39:12
  Boy, did I learn that the hard way. I'm sure we've all learned that lesson. You are so brilliant. I just, I learned more and more about you, each question, and just, I think you're fascinating. Oh, thank you. Is there anything, is there something I haven't asked today that you feel compelled to share? I know you got other things in the works. We're finishing up now. Yeah. I don't think so. You know, I'd say just put yourself out there and go for it if I can say anything. I mean...
• 39:42
  the opportunities that come, the things that will come into your life. The last five years, every single year has been a roller coaster in the best way, like such a journey. Having someone who was picky, who never grew up cooking, who taught themselves during a very sad time and put it out there
• 40:03
  have the opportunity to compete on the Food Network. Like, how does that happen to people? Like, that is just so amazing to me. But I know that only came because I said, you know what? I'm not going to care at all what people think. And I know this is what I love to do. And I'm going to roll the dice and give it a shot. And you rocked that thing. You were a natural. I did my best. Mm-hmm.
• 40:25
  I'm so proud of you. I love you. I love this. This was fantastic. Until next time, be harder than life. Thank you for listening. Please rate and subscribe to Harder Than Life. And let's take this to the next level. Get connected at the links below.