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Raw and Unfiltered: Addiction and Obesity · Connor with Honor: AI, Real Estate and Real Life

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: This is going to be incredibly real.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: I have had problems with addiction all of my life and I have put a lot of things behind me.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: So I thought today I would discuss my process when I was able to conquer so many of the different things that I did.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I never gotten in into any of the hardcore drugs, probably most likely because I was a cop for a very long time and just couldn't be done.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: So there was definitely a block wall there for me with regard to that.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: But the legal stuff, the alcohol and the cigarettes and the chewing tobacco, those sorts of things, I ran through the lot.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember first coming on the police department back in the 90s, early 1990s actually.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: I worked, the riots started, of course, in Los Angeles, and I was in a car with a whole bunch of people that smoke cigarettes.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I know I grew up with my dad smoking.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: That's probably what turned me off to it.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: But everybody in the car was smoking, even in my probationary division.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's what happens when you get out of the academy as a new police officer.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: You're on probation, easily fired.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: That time it seemed like every training officer I had smoked in the roll call room, even though they weren't supposed to.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: Again, smoking and that whole nine yards.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: So when I got into a different division northeast and the riot started, I was blessed to be assigned with Crash, which doesn't exist anymore, but it was Crash.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: I forgot what it stood for.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: Criminal resources against street hoodlums, maybe?
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: Something like that.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: So that was a gang enforcement detail, and it was pretty awesome because these guys had a lot of time on the job.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I really looked up to them and you know we were in the car and we were all together and everybody was smoking.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: There were four of us to a unit as we were driving around the south end of Los Angeles during the riots, trying to protect people and property.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, you know, loan smoke, no, I don't.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: Would you like one?
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: So it took me about three months to really get used to inhale those cigarettes without coughing my lungs out.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: But you'd be proud of me.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: I made it.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: I actually got it done, and there I was, just another addicted smoker.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: Fast forward 23 years later, and uh I'll never forget one of my boys.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: He had mentioned to me he was some addictive issues as well, something going on in his life.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I confronted him, and I at this time he had seen me try to quit cigarettes many, many times.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, when you quit something that you're addicted to, there's a little anger, there's a little hostility.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: So of course everybody felt it.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like you would try to quit something and not tell anybody.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: You have to announce it to the whole world, right?
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: So that's what I did.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: So he saw this repeatedly, time and time again, when I wasn't able to.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I I remember very vividly that I told him to stop something, whatever the habit was.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, you know what, you you really need to stop this because this isn't good for you.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: This is gonna end up in a big problem for you later on in life.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, Dad, you can't even quit smoking cigarettes.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: So that was the last time I smoked a cigarette after so many times trying to quit.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know if that resonates with you, but that's what it took to at least quit that one.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: Back up just a little bit.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: I, and that was 23 years smoking.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: And back up just a little bit, I did chewing tobacco, of course.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: And that was, you know, working this in South Los Angeles.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: It seemed like everybody working those divisions chewed tobacco, and it probably had something to do with the uh the movie When Tombstone, that whole thing, just like the cool thing, too.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: But again, incredibly addictive, super high nicotine levels, and of course, it wasn't the easy chewing tobacco, it was the Copenhagen.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, that's what everybody went for.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: But with this, I remember being addicted to that, not being able to put it down.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes, depending on the area of Los Angeles, it wasn't easy to find.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: But, you know, lo and behold, you're hard enough, you find it.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes they were stale and outdated, you just didn't know.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: But again, you know, we had it lived out in Santa Cruz Valley, so it wasn't too difficult.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember, you know, that's what I did.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: This was kind of to break me away cigarettes.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: So chewing tobacco was the main thing.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: I still chipped cigarettes back then a little bit.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: But I remember going to a dentist, and the dentist said, you know, you have some uh on your bottom teeth.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: Do you chew tobacco?
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, Yes, I do.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: He said, Well, that's why your your gums are deteriorating.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: And that was it.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: So we finished whatever the checkup was, or the cleaning or the fixing.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: And uh at the very end I said, Well, so that's it?
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: That's all you have to say about chewing tobacco?
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, Well, yeah, what do you what do you mean?
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Tell you to quit.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: He said, There's more money in it for me when uh when you don't, because I have to grab some skin, slap it on there, hopefully it'll grow and take place, and then you'll be good as gold.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, you prick.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: So that was the last time I chewed tobacco, so I threw that out.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: Fast forward a little bit more, played with the alcohol.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: So it started very innocently.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: A little bit of wine here, a little bit of wine there, and then the wine graduated into vodka, soda with a little bit of vodka, right?
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: And then that reversed itself.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: So then so then it was vodka with soda and on the rocks, and then it was more vodka, less soda on the rocks, and then it was really just kind of vodka on the where it got to, and then it was just vodka, neat, just vodka and where it got.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I did that for about 17 years, and then I hung that up.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: I remember I had tried to quit that many times as well.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: And again, all this time I'm I'm in and out of obesity.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm still fat, but you know, that really big fat Connor, that one didn't happen until a little bit later, probably because maybe I quit all these things and then food became my new target.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: There are people in the world that seem to be more addicted than some other people.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you have those friends, they can eat one potato chip, and here I am, you know, having to eat two or three bags of potato chips in a sitting.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: That's still the mentality.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, they can do that.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: They're probably less addicted people than other people in the world.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: I have to believe that's the case.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: Some people find it very easy to quit things, me, not so much, and maybe there's people deeper ingrained with the addictive process, deeper ingrained with addiction in their lives than even I am, which I can't imagine what that would be like, because I believe I have a pretty high level of addictive capability when it comes to a lot of different things.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: But, you know, getting to the end, 17 years of that, and it just got to a point, nothing big happened.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't get any kind of uh diagnosis from the doctor, I didn't get arrested, you know, my job wasn't questioned, I wasn't drinking, you know, while on duty.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: Just in the evenings or in, you know, whenever I got my daytime was ending prior to bed, but the volume started to get so much that I remember waking up at three o'clock in the morning, my heart, you know, feeling like it was all out of my chest.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: About this time I was the fattest I'd ever been, 365 pounds.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: So with the alcohol, I had a food addiction.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: So the alcohol, again, trying to quit, you know, promise I wouldn't do it, and something would come up and I did it, and it would happen back and forth.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: Not until I got into my fitness world, I started to see the detrimental effects of the alcohol, how much harder it was to get up in the mornings and get to the gym or get to the workout or eat correctly when I was drinking the alcohol.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: So that one solved itself just by me rationalizing what this elixir does to my body and how it interrupts with what I'm trying to do in the forward movement of me getting into better shape and bleeding off all of that fat weight.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: And that fat weight was 365 pounds.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: So about 135 I dropped.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: I put on considerable muscle since then as well.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I, you know, of course, still every day, do not touch alcohol and have it for a long time.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: All of these different addictive processes, and I'll cover food in just a second, they all really get a hold on you, and it's really kind of an autopilot scenario where I remember with the alcohol, it was just available, it was just easy.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: So then I would go and just start drinking very mindless and not thinking about it.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't until I started to sit down and realize that you know, some of it hiding.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't want those I was with to see I was drinking that much out of embarrassment.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: So there's an issue there.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, if you're gonna do something, if you're gonna have an addiction, you might as well just do it in front of everybody.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: Honor it enough because you're truly tearing up your body by a lot of these different types of addictions.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: You might as well honor yourself enough to put it out there for everybody to see and then let the world judge you.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's kind of the way when I got into my food addiction and realized that was a massive driving force in my life, needing to repair myself from all that damage I had done from the time I was a kid.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, you can blame certain people up until a point, but then typically it comes down to that blame equates into maybe you shouldn't be blaming, maybe you should just realize that what you're doing isn't moving your progress anywhere, but maybe where it stays or backward.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: You want that forward progress in life.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: So when it came to food, I actually had believed so many different things.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: I believe that you know you really need survival, which just do the research.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: You don't.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I also believe that if I were to quit eating for any period of time, even missing a meal, my metabolism would crash and there would be other kinds of problems that I would get by not doing that.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: So, what I realized over time, and I read a couple books and I did some investigations, I actually had a doctor recommend the obesity code by Jason Fung.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: He's a nephrologist, which is of course a kidney doctor, and he talked about how he figured out partial reversal and in some cases to type 2 diabetes.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: So here I am, pre-diabetic, and I have a lot of other medicines that I'm taking because I'm just basically a walking heart attack.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: I've got the thick blood, lots of triglycerides, my cholesterol's through the roof.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, the bad one's just crazy, and I am still eating all those all the carbohydrates meal.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if you look at a starch uh starch molecule, you got two molecules bound together.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: When that when starch goes out, you have a uh you have a system, I can't remember what it is, and I can't remember what it's called, but basically it breaks the sugar bond.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: So now you have two sugars, so now you have that simple sugar again.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: So don't fall into this trap of thinking starches are okay or there's something that your body treats differently.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: It breaks that bond.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: So sugar is sugar when you're eating it.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: So carbohydrates, that's the monitoring level.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: And if you look at some of the food labels out there, they're going to not give you that.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: They're going to break it up into sugars and carbohydrates very cleverly.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: That's the food industry for you.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: But look at the overall carbohydrates.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: That which that's what you should, if you're planning on doing something like I did.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: When it got to the food, what really made it work for me, as far as breaking that chain of addiction, is realizing how long I could go without eating food.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if it was a challenge that was involved or something that I just felt good doing, but I still fast.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm on a day, uh, a second day of a water fast today.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I still do quite a bit of fasting throughout the week and throughout the months, and it does feel good for me.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: But when I first started, my biggest mess up in the fasting world was I would basically fast for maybe a day or two days.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: And when it came time to refeed, when it came time for that breakfast meal, oh, Connor blew it out of the park.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: Connor ate more calories in that meal than I would have consumed normally during those days, and of course, that's a problem.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: So that's what ended up happening many, many times.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: But finally, practice through regret, through anger, through hostility, through sadness and depression, I was able to modify that habit.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: And whenever I do a fast, whenever I re-refeed or have that break fast meal or breakfast, that next meal after a fast, depending on when that is, and breakfast, of course, can be any time, when you do break your fast with breakfast, I've been honoring that so I'm able to not go blow it out with a dozen donuts or a bunch of other crap that I just love to eat.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: And to be frank with you, I do enjoy those things.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: But I enjoy the way this feels more.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: And if you haven't ever been here, and I never was, I never got into semblance of shape where I could go to a normal store.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: Well, now the biggest problem is the size up here, not the belly, because my belly was 65 inches at the largest point.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: So now I'm mid-30s right now, and if I trim down another 10, 15 pounds, I'd be probably 32, 33.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: But that's the like the leanest land.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, I have loose skin because from 65 to 33 or 32, that's that's a lot of skin.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: But I believe the fasting did help absorb a lot of that because fasting in long time periods creates a condition called autophagy.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: And autophagy is basically your body cleansing itself of all the garbage and uh stretched out skin and loose skin.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: That's damaged skin cells, believe it or not.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: So there's some absorption and retake up there by that particular process, and I believe that does help a lot.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: That's something to investigate with your doctor, do your own research before you do anything like it.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: My best time, my best was 14 days, and I went 14 days without without any food at all.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: So it was black coffee and water.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't supplement with vitamins, uh, minerals.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: I probably should have now.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: Now, when I fast, I I do drink electrolytes, zero calories, zero carb electrolytes as part of my process.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: So that's going to include sodium, potassium, magnesium.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: So I do keep those stores up.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I also pay attention to the amount I eat because I know I'm in fasting eventually, and maybe every week, I also keep up with those levels too.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: But again, if you've never done this, your body's probably primed for it.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: And as I think the case in was like you remember not feeling well the first few days because I was taking these medicines for high blood pressure and diabetes and these sorts of things.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: So I remember my doctor saying, Well, if you're not eating anything, you're gonna have to really cut back, if not stop the medicine.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: That was also something interesting, uh interesting observation at the time, thinking, well, so I don't need medicine when I'm not eating food, that just blows my mind.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: And then the longer I went, so these 14 days after the first three or four, the body actually really, really kicks over deep and burning store body fat for fuel.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: So it switches those fuel systems.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: When it does that, there is a certain site uh you feel you feel have a hunger hormone called ghrelin.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: Ghrelin actually starts to slow its role as well, so it becomes less and less and less the more and longer that you fast.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: Ghrelin, the hunger hormone, usually is active during the times in which you typically eat if you're going to be fasting a day or two.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: So you'll feel it most during your breakfast time or lunchtime or dinner time.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're just a one meal a day person, which I kind of am now, uh, I would frelin about the time that I normally would eat early afternoon.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: So just knowing that it's a wave like anything else, so it's not persistent, but it will be pretty, pretty painful for the hour and a half-ish.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: And then after that, it'll die off.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: My suggestion, if you're going to embark in this kind of world, just go ahead and try to muscle through it and maybe do something else to split your attention so it's not focused on food.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: Food, the way that it's put together, incredibly addictive.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: So the main my mainstays always are meat, fish, eggs, and vegetables.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's pretty much what I stick to.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: Vegetables don't get too crazy with it, at least me.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, there's a lot of rabbit holes out there to crawl down with that, whether they have some kind of defense mechanism, it doesn't do good for your body or whatever.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: That's really kind of fringe stuff, but it's becoming more mainstream, more talked about.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: You notice I didn't mention fruit.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: For me, fruit, the carbohydrate content in fruit, just doesn't do well with me, the type of sugar that fruit has.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's not great for me, maybe for you it's wonderful, but I try to stay away from all of that stuff.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are going to eat fruit, make sure you don't demolish it.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: Make sure you keep it in its natural state because there's fiber in there.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: But if you look at an apple today, an apple crisp apple, and you look at something, you know, from a hundred years ago, totally different.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: So you have somewhat genetically modified and and and changed food that we are eating.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: So I try to stick with just those basics.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: And as far as seasonings and sauces, mustard is a good friend of mine.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: I use quite a bit of mustard depending on what I'm eating.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: I love raw onions, raw onions with vinegar and avocado oil and salt and pepper and turmeric.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: Just lovely.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the salad that I go to.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, there's carbohydrates in it, but if I have zero carbs in every other area, a large onion I think's 14 or 15 uh grams of carbohydrate, and there's some fiber in there.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: But again, these are things that I really enjoy, and it's very palatable, and I can eat it all the time.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: As far as preparation goes, don't forget this.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: If you are going to quit something, you have to look at your environment.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: Because the quitting the smoking thing, there was a great time to smoke.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: There was a place to smoke, a locale to smoke.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: There were built-in processes so I could smoke.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'll never forget as a kid, my dad worked at White Sands Missile Range in New Mexico, a four-pack a day Winston red smoker.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: I remember his biggest stress, and he would tell me this as a kid, he said, you know, son, my biggest stress is I don't have enough cigarettes to get me throughout the day.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: So he would always have a carton in his car because White Sands Missile Range is very remote.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: There's no stores for miles.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, you know, 50, 60, 70 places on that missile range.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: So to try to leave work and to go buy cigarettes and come back, that's going to be a problem with the powers that be, right?
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: So he had to be prepared to go in.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: That was something else as an ex-smoker and a drinker and tobacco and food addict.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: Setting those stages, having those places to go to be able to do my debauchery, those were also problems.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: So it was easier to sever from a lot of those habits.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: So I wouldn't pick up and redo these certain things.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: Now, you might say, well, I'll just throw away the pack of cigarettes and not go get any more.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: Did that hundreds of times and throw away the tin of tobacco and not, yeah, again, so many times.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: The alcohol thing, yeah, I'm just not gonna buy one, or you know, I don't want to throw it all over because it does cost money again.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: Try that so many times.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: The food, once I got through that fast, it told me that as long as I have body fat on my frame, and I'm not like down to super lean, you know, I could probably go missing them to.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: So if I had to, it's not gonna be a problem.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I still do it because there is still body fat on my frame.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: Not 365 pounds worth of body fat, but there's still enough that I can go through these fasts.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not down to that 3 and 4% level or whatever the level happens to be.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: Probably somewhere in the single digits.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: When a person in that level starts to fast, typically they start to eat up other things besides their body fat.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_00: It goes for protein.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: If they get really lean, it's going to go to organs and brain and then death.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: So watch out if you get super lean and do that.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_00: People also talk about people that have eating disorders, uh, bulimia, maybe you know, starting fasting and that creating it for them.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if that, if there's a lot of on that, but if you have some kind of uh beyond the typical addiction, I would, well, with anybody, definitely go seek a doctor's approval before you quit eating, especially if you're taking medicine.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, I was very sick in that very long fast because of the medicine I was taking.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't prepared, I didn't ask anybody before I started doing it because I had practiced so much, I finally got to a point I said, you know what, I can do, I can do a couple weeks, if not 21 days.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: Didn't go 21 days.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: Looking back, I think I could have, but 14 days was plenty, and that got my mind right where I wasn't the drive-thru junkie.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't the guy, you know, running to the drive-thru parking lot, eating, you know, a dozen tacos and his bicep two milkshakes every single time.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't the extra large uh in-and-out shake guy anymore, and you know, double doubles and you know, bound.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_00: In addition, I bought the people that I was with.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_00: Again, lots of habits that needed to be broken.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: Look at your life, look at the things that you do on a daily basis, have a heart-to-heart with yourself, and I'll end with this.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: My biggest success point was being okay with myself when I screwed up the plan I had made, the promise I had made to start to diet and start to eat a certain way, or start to quit this particular thing, cigarettes or alcohol.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_00: When I finally realized that I should be forgiving myself when I screwed it up and immediately begin again.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: Don't let that trail continue for, you know, days or weeks or months.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: Pick up that cake and shove it in your mouth.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: If that's not part of your plan, and that's way outside of what you plan to do, out of impulse, out of autopilot, out of habit, out of whatever.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_00: Stop yourself immediately and continue your process.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: Do not look back.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: Enjoy the moment, swallow it, finish it, or spit it out.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: But there's been many times I've been in a drive-thru, I've ordered food, I've gotten the food, and then I've realized, are you serious?
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_00: Are you seriously doing this again?
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: And then I would throw the food away.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: I understand there's going to be judges out there, you could have given that food to somebody else.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: Trust me, if I would have gone another hundred feet, I would have lost my nerve to get rid of it.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: Be good to yourselves.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_00: There are certain levels of addiction.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: Some people are even worse, some people are less.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: But I think if you start to be real with yourself and you start to communicate with yourself more, I believe you can get rid of whatever it is you want.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm 55.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'll be 56 soon.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: I finally got it under control.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_00: It took me 50 years, but I'm looking forward to another 50 years of being in somewhat better shape.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Connor with honor.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: We'll see you in the next one.