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April 20 - Examining My Motives · The Daily Ripples Podcast

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  Welcome back to the Daily Ripples podcast.
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  Today is Monday, April the 20th, and the Daily Ripples are where faith and recovery meet in
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  the waters of our lives.
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  And yes, that is lame.
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  Let's move right along and introduce our guest host again for today.
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  And that is my wife.
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  Cristi.
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  Yeah, well, you know, we're not supposed to use this thing, right?
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  I forgot.
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  You're going to have to edit that out.
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  I'll edit it out like you swore, kind of like I've had to do with Corey and Bill a time or two.
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  But anyway, you know, a fun thing today on the episode would be about every third word you say.
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  I'll just bleep out.
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  I mean, people start thinking that you're really got a problem.
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  I do, but...
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  We do digress.
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  With that, Cristi, if you would, would you read our Daily Ripple for today?
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  Daily Ripple, the stone.
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  Actions alone do not reveal the whole story.
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  Motives shape the meaning behind what I do.
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  Honest self-examination helps uncover whether I'm acting from love or from hidden self-interest.
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  Ripple One Practical.
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  Today I will pause to consider why I am doing what I do.
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  Am I seeking recognition, control, or approval?
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  Or am I acting from sincerity and care?
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  A moment of reflection can redirect my intentions before they quietly distort my actions.
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  Spiritual. As I bring my thoughts before the Father, the Holy Spirit gently exposes selfish motives and reshapes them.
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  Following Christ's example of humble service, I learn that true peace grows when my actions flow from love rather than self-promotion.
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  Thank you. And as always, we'll save our prayer for the end of the episode.
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  On this one, the first thing that I thought of as reading it and hearing you read it again today was the part about examining my motives, trying to figure out why am I doing what I am doing.
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  And I thought of in Psalm 26 and 2 is the verse that says in the Bible, test me, Lord, and try me, examine my heart and mind.
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  And I know there's a lot of guidance in the Bible as well about self-examination, but this examining of motives is part and parcel of in recovery what they call the fourth step, you know, which, of course, this being April, the fourth month, there's a lot being talked about about the fourth step.
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  That's just kind of how this tracks.
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  But for someone who or from someone who has not officially done the 12 steps or a fourth and a fifth step, when you hear something like this about examining the motives behind what you're doing, where does that take you in your mind or what do you think about that?
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  Charity work.
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  Charity work?
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  Yes. I volunteer with a nonprofit, and there are many nonprofits out there, obviously, and there are people that volunteer on a daily basis. But why?
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  Are they checking the box? Do they have full empathy for what they're doing, consideration for what they're doing? Where is their heart? And here's the thing. We may not ever know where their heart really lies, but God knows. God knows their intentions.
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  But I just wonder. And then my mind goes to when I see social media posts of helping someone that's homeless or begging and you're posting about it.
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  I've seen the reason that people give sometimes about, oh, well, they're trying to encourage others.
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  Yeah, that that doesn't flow well with me.
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  I still, you're, did that person, that homeless person, that beggar give their permission?
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  Maybe they did, but you're exposing them as well.
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  So what was your intention behind it?
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  But no matter what, God knows your intention.
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  And lastly, there are people that have posted on social media before needing help or assistance.
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  And I will go to Messenger, if you're familiar with Facebook Messenger, and I will send them a direct message.
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  And sometimes it will result in me providing assistance.
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  But guess what I ask from them in return?
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  I ask that they never post anything on social media about me helping them.
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  It is not for the recognition, as we just read about.
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  I don't want anyone to know.
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  I want it to be something that I did from the heart.
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  But the last one, this one might make you chuckle a little bit.
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  Following Christ's example of humble service, I learned that true peace grows when my actions
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  grow from the love rather than self-promotion.
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  This is not necessarily self-promotion, but the spiritual side of this, I will tell you, and this has happened as recently as probably up until you went into ministry, okay?
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  Okay.
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  And really fully engaged in it.
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  I would, you know how they say give 10%?
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  Mm-hmm.
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  And if you give, God will, you know, replace that.
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  Yeah, I would give. And as I was giving, I go, okay, Laura, I'm expecting you to return this to me.
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  Yeah.
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  Double. So I was giving just so I can get it back.
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  Self-serving.
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  Yes.
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  Self-serving.
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  So I can get it back. That is not the heart of giving. That is not the intent. But whatever amount, even if it was $20, I was expecting at least $30 back.
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  That same week.
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  You were planting a seed of faith, expecting a bounty.
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  Oh, well, that's a great spin on it.
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  Yeah.
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  I mean, you know, not necessarily a seed of faith.
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  Exactly.
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  It sounded like a transactional faith at that point.
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  And that's the thing, you know, so many people can give or serve others out of wanting the recognition of the self-serving, what have you.
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  And that's one thing that through recovery, you know, I've learned and I've seen what really humble giving and humble service actually looks like because it's for people helping someone only because someone helps them.
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  You know, they're not doing it because they can't post about it on social media most of the time.
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  You know, it violates the traditions of recovery groups and things of that nature.
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  So that's why I'm glad that there's certain traditions in recovery that protect the anonymity of people that are in there so that we have a tradition that we maintain anonymity at the level of press, radio, and film.
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  Now, press, radio, and film is quite antiquated these days because this was written about probably 80 years ago, something like that.
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  If Corey were here, he could probably give us the exact date that each tradition was written.
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  He seems to be well-versed.
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  Yes, Corey, I have listened.
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  I understand where you're coming from with the big book.
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  Very well-versed.
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  But this, you know, for me, when I think about this one for today, you know, it's the examining my motives.
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  And so because I, too, can get discouraged by seeing other people that are doing, you know, charity just for what I may perceive as an impure motive.
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  But that doesn't have to be why I am involved.
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  Exactly.
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  And the self-examination part is where you do have to look honestly at ourselves and say, am I doing this to get something out of it or am I doing this because it's the right thing to do?
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  I mean, even like I take it to the level of even doing this, writing the daily devotionals, you know, and doing this podcast is that, you know, why am I doing that?
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  Am I trying to get recognition for it?
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  I've asked myself, too, why are you doing this?
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  Because it takes a lot of time away from me.
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  So go ahead.
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  answer for the people and me. That's an outside issue for a therapist. Okay. Moving right along.
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  But I had to, and early on, I would get a lot of, you know, anxiety whenever I would be,
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  especially when we first started doing this podcast on recording days and things like that,
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  I'd get really nervous about it. And, but once I started realizing that
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  there are, you know, people that are getting something out of this, you know, that, and you've
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  been, like I said, number one fan over here with us today, but, you know, others that are in my home
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  group that'll mention something about it. And that's not the reason for why I'm doing it, but it
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  does affirm the reasons for why I'm doing it, which is to be of service to other people and try to be
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  of help in some way to somebody out there. And because, I mean, even like it says,
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  following Christ's example, humble service, you hit on that a little bit.
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  Jesus himself did not sit down and write any of the books of the Bible, you know? I mean,
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  he just did what he was doing. He was doing the work. And, you know, people who needed to come to
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  him, you know, for healing, and we talked a little bit about this yesterday with the whole
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  brokenness thing, you know, that theme. People came to Jesus for their miracles in a number of
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  ways. You know, some came crawling through a crowd to touch the hem of his garment. Some,
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  you know, he sought them out or found them along the way. Some, their family brought them to him.
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  Their friends lowered people through roofs, you know, to get to Jesus to receive the healing.
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  And the point of all that is it wasn't just something that happened between Jesus and the
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  person being healed. There's other people around that were part of that. Yeah, there was a
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  ripple effect. That's a good way of putting it. I am not the only one for the record who has bad
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  puns, obviously, on this podcast. But here's another thing about that, too. Jesus didn't toot
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  his own horn. Jesus didn't go from city to city saying, hey, come, come. He, because of who he was,
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  because of his humbleness in meeting those that were broken, the word got out.
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  The word spread quickly by those that he met, by those that he encountered.
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  So your work, if it's done with the right heart, in the right place, with the right mind, guess what?
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  The word will get out.
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  You will not have to toot your own horn.
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  It will speak for you.
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  Friends, relatives, all of them will speak for you.
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  You will have to say a word.
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  I'm trying to tie this back a little bit to
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  you know the the recovery centric side of this you know I'm doing the fourth step the examining
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  my motives and this is the part you know when we're going through the inventory of listing out
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  our resentments and things where we have to examine what is our part in it you know and really looking
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  at you know what is my part behind all these things that are bugging me you know and that's
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  where I think we were having a conversation earlier today about the episode on resentment,
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  you know, and that it wasn't really, whatever was being said wasn't really resonating, you know,
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  with you too well on that day. Because I think I had said something about like when I'm annoyed or
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  irritated by somebody, it's often because I see some of my more negative character traits reflected
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  back at me. And that's just been my experience with that. That doesn't mean that that's universal
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  or anything like that.
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  But, and we've had these conversations
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  and you've been around me long enough
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  to know that I always try to look back to,
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  you know, what's my part in any given situation
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  of, you know, whether it's a discreement,
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  argument or what have you.
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  Now, that doesn't mean in the heat of the moment
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  if we're arguing about something
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  that's necessarily my first go-to,
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  but I usually get there pretty quick.
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  Yep.
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  And I examine too.
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  I just don't want anyone to know that I'm examining.
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  That sounds like some pride.
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  Well, and to be fair, and to be fair, you know, that sounds like some pride, but that's one of those things where I'm just going to be quiet because we don't work each other's programs.
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  Exactly.
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  But the important point is, if I'm examining whether I want someone to know or not, and I get to the right place where I'm supposed to get to with the help of God, then I'm still okay.
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  That's right.
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  There's growth in that because there was a time where there would not be any examining.
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  It would be, it's not my problem.
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  I didn't create this.
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  So the growth in me is now I am examining and I am reviewing things and I am saying, okay, did I have a hand in that?
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  Now, I may not admit it right then, but there may be change in behavior as to not repeat those things.
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  So there's growth.
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  There is growth.
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  And as a first lady in a United Methodist church, what would John Wesley call that particular type of growth?
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  Is that sanctifying grace?
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  Bingo!
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  She got it right!
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  Oh, my gosh!
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  It's almost like you've been listening to your pastor or something like that.
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  I am looking for a new pastor, if anybody knows.
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  Okay.
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  On that note, let us close out the episode for today.
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  Let's thank my wife, Cristi, for being our guest with us on the episode today.
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  Thank you for finally having me.
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  It's been a minute.
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  She's been bugging me this whole time.
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  When can I get out?
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  Anyway, but with that, would you like to close us out with our prayer for today?
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  I will for sure.
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  Father, guide my thinking today.
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  Through your Spirit, reveal what is hidden in my motives,
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  and help me walk in the humble, sincere love shown by your Son.
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  Amen.