Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #157 Sam Frost On Birth Scares, Therapy And The Messy Part of Parenting

Transcript

#157 Sam Frost On Birth Scares, Therapy And The Messy Part of Parenting · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Mister Wicks. Yes, how long was it into the relationship
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: with April that she felt pregnant? Like eight years?
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: Okay?
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Wow, wow, Well this one's a little bit different as
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: we have a guest who did things a little bit differently.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: I'm talking about Sam Frost. She is beautiful, down to
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: worth and hilarious. Yeah. Sam is the Bachelorette alumni.
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: She's gone on to build a career in radio acting
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: on Home and Away and now travels around Queenslane in
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: a caravan with her family.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: She takes us through the wild ride of early pregnancy,
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: a late stage scare with baby Teddy and Jordie, her
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: partner his perfect timing while Sam was in labor.
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: Yes, a strange request from young Jordi while his partner's
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: sitting there in pain.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: Well, thankfully he was in the right place in hospital.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: Who knows what could have happened, well said.
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: She also opens up about a mental health seeing a
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: psych before giving birth, and learning that the most important
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: thing in parenting isn't getting it perfect, it's knowing how
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: to repair when you don't all right into it.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: Let's do it.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to two girding dads and one dorting mom.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: I'm Maddie, j.
• 1:20
  Speaker 4: I'm Ash, and I'm Sam.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: Now at it. This is the podcast all about parenting.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: It is the good, it is the bad and the relatable.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: And we never give advice. Sam, We never do it.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: We never will, We never wanted to. We have no
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: desire but for you. If you have advice, by all means,
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: we will never stop you. Yeah, there's a loophole we
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: let guests give advice because it's illegal loophole. Every time
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: we try.
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: To do it, people are like, it's like, let's stop
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: doing it all Sam.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: There is a question that we start with every guest.
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: And it is do you remember the most trouble you
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: got in as a child.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: Jeez, I feel like I put you on the spot.
• 2:07
  Speaker 4: You did and if you didn't get in much trouble that.
• 2:11
  Speaker 4: I don't think my parents particularly liked me either, rebeca.
• 2:14
  Speaker 4: So it's like my whole childhood or just a moment. No,
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: let me think you guys are like.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: Fuck rebellious as a child.
• 2:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I never. I Actually I really loved school,
• 2:29
  Speaker 4: loved it, but I got into a lot of trouble
• 2:31
  Speaker 4: because I was quite cheeky. It wasn't like you know,
• 2:35
  Speaker 4: awfully naughty. It's just like mate, like come on, stopping smarter, stopping.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: Like smoking in the toilets making.
• 2:41
  Speaker 5: No, I actually never smoked.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: B Wow, well done. Did you wag classes always?
• 2:48
  Speaker 4: Like, you know, just things like that, Like I think
• 2:50
  Speaker 4: I yeh, I would get in trouble for just like
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: normal school rebellion. I think, yeah, I remember once my
• 2:57
  Speaker 4: mum she grounded me for an entire year. Who yeah,
• 3:02
  Speaker 4: when I was in primary school for what I can't
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: remember And I bring it up now she goes, yeah,
• 3:07
  Speaker 4: that happened. I can't remember why I did that. And
• 3:11
  Speaker 4: I was like, mom, that's fucked up. I was like
• 3:14
  Speaker 4: the worst mom ever, something so bad. But she's like, yeah, yeah,
• 3:19
  Speaker 4: I can't remember, but still like defends it. And I'm like,
• 3:22
  Speaker 4: that's really bad.
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: And they defended, like Matt said, They're like, well, I
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: guess I'm just the worst mother everident.
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: Said I didn't work in any way? Did it? Did
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: it help you to be who you are now?
• 3:37
  Speaker 4: Now? I'm like really introverted and get awkward in social situations,
• 3:41
  Speaker 4: so probably yeah, I'm really grateful.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: And then growing up after school, were you someone who
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: always wanted to have a family?
• 3:50
  Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, I think I always did. I love I'm
• 3:53
  Speaker 4: one of six. I've got four brothers and a sister,
• 3:55
  Speaker 4: so I love the chaos, I love the fun, I
• 3:59
  Speaker 4: love tea, I love your bully. Yeah. Basically, in my family,
• 4:04
  Speaker 4: there's always one target, and you don't know who it's
• 4:06
  Speaker 4: going to be. Like we all get together and you're
• 4:08
  Speaker 4: like who's going to fuck up first? And then like
• 4:12
  Speaker 4: it's just in from there and it's fine. My family
• 4:15
  Speaker 4: says that I can dish it out very well, but
• 4:17
  Speaker 4: when it's me, I don't handle it very well.
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, you prefer to just dish it.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: I feel it.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: I feel it.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: So four. So you say four brothers, four brothers and
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: a sister and your sister, and where do you sit
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: on that scale of eldest?
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: I number four.
• 4:32
  Speaker 4: So I've got two older brothers, an older sister, me
• 4:34
  Speaker 4: and my two little brothers. So I'm in the middle.
• 4:36
  Speaker 5: So yeah, I mean I think that's a good spot.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: Do you think you want to have that many kids
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: yourself or lot?
• 4:41
  Speaker 5: You know, if I was younger, I probably would, but like.
• 4:45
  Speaker 4: I'm thirty six, and then if I go again, I'll
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: be like, what thirty eight?
• 4:49
  Speaker 5: Maybe four?
• 4:54
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know. It's funny because I during my
• 4:57
  Speaker 4: second my pregnancy that I just did with Bobby. I
• 5:01
  Speaker 4: hate being pregnant. I absolutely hate it. I mean I
• 5:04
  Speaker 4: wish I could be grateful about it.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: For what reason do you hate it?
• 5:07
  Speaker 4: I was so sick and just like constantly vomiting up,
• 5:11
  Speaker 4: constantly sick.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: For Teddy or eldest and for Bobby.
• 5:15
  Speaker 5: Fo Yeah, yeah, it was awful.
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: And then I speak to girlfriends and I'm like, oh,
• 5:19
  Speaker 4: how's your pregnancy going.
• 5:20
  Speaker 5: Okay, I must be tough. Me're like, yeah, I guess
• 5:22
  Speaker 5: I'm a bit tired, and I'm.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: Just like, it's funny.
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: We had a question on our Weekly episode about what
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: not do stated parents. That's a good one, right, Yeah,
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: especially if it's like they're like, oh, yeah, I'm really
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: enjoying my pregnancy.
• 5:36
  Speaker 4: It's like I can't handle it. I just I don't
• 5:39
  Speaker 4: know what to say to them. I can't relate to them.
• 5:41
  Speaker 4: I'm just like, oh, it must be nice.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: What's the worst place that you think you got sick?
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: Just out of the blue.
• 5:47
  Speaker 4: Oh, I've thrown up on a plane and that was
• 5:51
  Speaker 4: pretty that was pretty bad. Like I was flying in
• 5:54
  Speaker 4: to Sydney, I think I was in maybe like twenty
• 5:57
  Speaker 4: five ish, like I was in the twenty zone, so
• 5:59
  Speaker 4: I thought I was safe because generally it's earlier on.
• 6:02
  Speaker 4: So I'm like, no, I'm sweet. And then there was
• 6:04
  Speaker 4: a bit of turbulence on the plane and I was.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: Like, oh no, no no, and.
• 6:09
  Speaker 4: It was like we had to buckle in and I
• 6:11
  Speaker 4: just like started. I got the vomit back and I
• 6:13
  Speaker 4: was vomiting. But I was vomiting so much. I was
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: like it was it was in my hair, and I
• 6:20
  Speaker 4: was like, stop throwing.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: Did you at least have like a spear seat next
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: to you?
• 6:26
  Speaker 4: I had this beautiful elderly couple next to me and
• 6:28
  Speaker 4: they're like and I was like the whole plane could
• 6:37
  Speaker 4: smell it. It was and I'm sure there's someone else
• 6:41
  Speaker 4: is going horrendous. That was probably the worst.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: Was it like was it an easy coming vomit or
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: were you going?
• 6:51
  Speaker 4: It was just like it was just splurging out of
• 6:53
  Speaker 4: my mouth. I can't even lie and once it started
• 6:56
  Speaker 4: just didn't stop, and then the bag was falling.
• 6:57
  Speaker 5: It was just honestly, someone's going so.
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: Quick?
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: Did you find you were carrying?
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: My wife did this April she carried around vomit bags
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: for like her whole pregnancy, because it's like she just.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: Just didn't know.
• 7:14
  Speaker 4: Look, I wasn't that. I wasn't that forward thinking. I
• 7:16
  Speaker 4: thought I was a bit more optimistic all right, foolishly
• 7:18
  Speaker 4: of course, but yeah, it wasn't yuck.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: Did you have any any cravings? I know Laura, she
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: really likes Magie noodles and she likes Cordial ginger beer
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: as well. It's quite helpful for her. Was there anything
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: that you had?
• 7:31
  Speaker 4: I did macas run far too regularly, and that's why
• 7:34
  Speaker 4: I'm like now, like, oh god, it gained a lot
• 7:37
  Speaker 4: of weight. And yeah, like chicken burgers, like man, I
• 7:40
  Speaker 4: would smash one like nearly every single day. Really you
• 7:44
  Speaker 4: could eat and then obviously I was like, yeah it
• 7:47
  Speaker 4: was I hate actually, and even smells like I like smells.
• 7:55
  Speaker 4: Jeordie had this deogorant he would wear in the first
• 7:57
  Speaker 4: Rome mass like get rid of it, like I can't
• 7:59
  Speaker 4: hand still.
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: I remember sitting on the bus with April and she
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: would on the way to the city and she'd get sick.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: It was like, oh, I feel so sorry for you,
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: so sorry that you had to experience that on an airport.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: If it makes you feel any better. We spoke before
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: Laura's twenty sixty seventy eighty easy and she was vomiting
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: the other morning. Wow, okay, yeah, that's brutal.
• 8:21
  Speaker 4: And it must be hard because this is their third
• 8:23
  Speaker 4: so you got two other kids that you have to
• 8:25
  Speaker 4: look after as well.
• 8:26
  Speaker 5: So that's that's pretty brutal for it.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: That'll be fine and it's sort of self sufficient. Now,
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: I do want to talk about about Teddy, but before
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: we do that, was it ever a point? I know
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: that I always wanted to have kids, and I had
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: a moment kind of weirdly happened before we got pregnant.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: I was with law at the time, but I remember thinking,
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: oh gosh, I'm kind of getting a little bit older
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: now I'm in my thirties, and maybe Laura and I
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: haven't tried to have kids, and maybe we won't have kids,
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: Like there's no guarantee that you guys are going to
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: fell pregnant easily. And I remember it kind of happened
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: weird coincident. It's right before she feel pregnant. But I
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: was like, had the thought of, you know, it might
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: not happen for me, even though I really wanted did
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: you ever have that thought?
• 9:08
  Speaker 5: Always? I often thought it because I also have a
• 9:12
  Speaker 5: lot of.
• 9:12
  Speaker 4: Girlfriends in my friendship circle that have had so much
• 9:16
  Speaker 4: uple falling pregnant.
• 9:17
  Speaker 5: And it's been years and years.
• 9:19
  Speaker 4: And I've been they'd been my best friends as well,
• 9:21
  Speaker 4: So I've walked with them as they grieve as they
• 9:25
  Speaker 4: have like even month to month, like every time they
• 9:29
  Speaker 4: get their period, they feel like they've failed. And I've
• 9:32
  Speaker 4: walked with them during that and it's been so hard,
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: and I hadn't tried, and so I was just like
• 9:38
  Speaker 4: that I could.
• 9:39
  Speaker 5: What's to say, I'm any different?
• 9:41
  Speaker 4: So I did. I often did think that it wasn't
• 9:45
  Speaker 4: gonna happen for me. I just I don't know.
• 9:48
  Speaker 5: I just had this feeling.
• 9:49
  Speaker 4: That I thought, it's something that I want so badly
• 9:52
  Speaker 4: that surely the universe isn't going to give it to me, you.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: Know, protection that you're doing to yourself. Yeah, wow, it
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: was you with Jordie at that point.
• 10:02
  Speaker 5: Yeah, well it wasn't. It wasn't.
• 10:05
  Speaker 4: I had those feelings prior to that, years before that,
• 10:09
  Speaker 4: And it was also not knowing if I was going
• 10:11
  Speaker 4: to meet the right person because I liked a lot
• 10:15
  Speaker 4: very unsuccessfully something you might not about.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: I had on another podcast and tell me if this
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: is not the case. You said that other relationships, older ones,
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: they gave you a lot of anxiety. Yes, And I
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: think Laura has always spoken about her previous relationships being
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: ones that weren't like a safe, warm, happy place for her.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: So when you got with Jordie, we were like this
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: is kind of boring, or we like, this is amazing.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: I've been missing this my whole life.
• 10:43
  Speaker 5: I never thought it was boring. I did think.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: Laura calls me boring.
• 10:49
  Speaker 4: But yeah, so like all my previous relationships, I've always
• 10:52
  Speaker 4: felt really anxious and it was very unhealthy relationships. And
• 10:55
  Speaker 4: then when I met Jordie, I actually thought when I
• 10:57
  Speaker 4: first met him, because he's so loving and he's so
• 11:00
  Speaker 4: attentive and very emotionally intelligent and loves to communicate how
• 11:06
  Speaker 4: he's feeling emotionally, which is very rare, like a never
• 11:10
  Speaker 4: I've always had to be like, what is this guy thinking?
• 11:12
  Speaker 4: You know previously and I'm like trying to like dissect
• 11:15
  Speaker 4: text going like I think he likes me, while Geordie's
• 11:19
  Speaker 4: like very forward with how he feels.
• 11:21
  Speaker 5: And I remember at the time when I.
• 11:23
  Speaker 4: First met him, I was just like, whoa, this is
• 11:25
  Speaker 4: so weird, Like do I want this?
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: Well?
• 11:28
  Speaker 4: I was actually more thinking like this has to be
• 11:31
  Speaker 4: like a trap like this, you know, because it's you know, yes, correct, Like, yes,
• 11:40
  Speaker 4: it's a real term.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: I've been married for too long.
• 11:43
  Speaker 5: That's what I thought.
• 11:44
  Speaker 4: I honestly was like, Oh, maybe he's just love bombing me.
• 11:46
  Speaker 4: Maybe he's like a piece of shit, you know, I
• 11:48
  Speaker 4: don't know, like, and then I had to work through
• 11:52
  Speaker 4: and go, oh no, he's just a genuinely loving and
• 11:55
  Speaker 4: affectionate person. And he's still like that, Like he's so loving.
• 11:59
  Speaker 4: And it took me a while while to adjust to
• 12:02
  Speaker 4: a healthy relationship. Yeah, And I remember my psychologist saying
• 12:06
  Speaker 4: to me, she's like, the hardest relationships, after you've been
• 12:10
  Speaker 4: in abusive relationships or toxic, you know, unhealthy ones, is
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: the healthy relationships because then they come along and you're
• 12:17
  Speaker 4: not used to that, and so you have to sort
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: of settle your nervous system and because.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: You could sabotage it right without even knowing.
• 12:24
  Speaker 5: I'm a massive sabotage.
• 12:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: And speaking of JORDI, where did you meet Jordy?
• 12:29
  Speaker 5: I met him in a pub.
• 12:33
  Speaker 4: I wonder if we went.
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: Back through all that guests and then yeah.
• 12:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, so we met Actually yeah, we met
• 12:41
  Speaker 4: in a pub and he his friends with my brother.
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 12:44
  Speaker 4: At the time, I was like, oh, yeah, he's cute,
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: but I didn't really think too much about it. Yeah,
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: a few weeks later I was like, nah, I'm going
• 12:52
  Speaker 4: to hit him up. Oh yeah, and Jeordie always likes
• 12:54
  Speaker 4: to talverybody's like.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: She hit on me.
• 13:00
  Speaker 4: And I did.
• 13:00
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 13:00
  Speaker 4: Then when we obviously were in a really good relationship,
• 13:03
  Speaker 4: I was like, okay, TikTok.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: Let's get this show on the road. That's right.
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: And then yeah, and how long was it before you
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: met and you decided that he was the one that
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: you wanted to have kids with.
• 13:15
  Speaker 5: Oh, mate, it was pretty early on. It was like
• 13:17
  Speaker 5: then three months later. I was like, all right, you're
• 13:20
  Speaker 5: really three months.
• 13:21
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it was really wow.
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: You just knew knew. It sounds a bit woo woo,
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: so bear with me, but when you know, you know.
• 13:28
  Speaker 4: It was avoiding saying that because it was so cliche,
• 13:31
  Speaker 4: but it's true, like when you know, you know, and
• 13:34
  Speaker 4: I just think, yeah, I just knew, and it's really sweet.
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: Actually yeah, it was.
• 13:38
  Speaker 4: It was the best.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: And after you fell pregnant, you're towards the tail end,
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: and this is with Teddy, You're first something happened. Was
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: it at nighttime that there's a lack of movement that
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: raised alarm bells for you?
• 13:51
  Speaker 4: It was around my due date. And ted had always
• 13:56
  Speaker 4: been a very active little kid, like in my stum,
• 14:00
  Speaker 4: he never like he It's funny because like the patterns
• 14:03
  Speaker 4: that he would wake up he was doing once he
• 14:05
  Speaker 4: was born.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: It was very cute.
• 14:06
  Speaker 4: But yeah, so he was very active. He would wake
• 14:08
  Speaker 4: up at two and like kick around.
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: So really dumb here, but you can like like there's
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: like a rhythm to the baby, yeah behaving. Yeah I knew,
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: I knew about movements. Let me just preface this sentence
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: saying that I don't say like an.
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: Absolute idiot, but yeah, like a routine he's in there.
• 14:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah, do you know what you know? You can feel it,
• 14:32
  Speaker 4: like you can feel like I mean, they must get
• 14:35
  Speaker 4: their cues from you.
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: I would assume, like when you're sleeping, Yeah, like I
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: wake you up when you're sleeping, getting you prepared for that.
• 14:41
  Speaker 4: Exactly, And he did. And so he would like wake
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: up for a few hours and you go to sleep
• 14:46
  Speaker 4: and then he would wake up again, and so I
• 14:47
  Speaker 4: could feel I sort of knew his routine, like when
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: he would go to sleep and when he would wake
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: up and be active. And so then towards the due date,
• 14:55
  Speaker 4: he just completely stopped moving. And it was one of
• 14:59
  Speaker 4: it was a time where I think mother's intuition had
• 15:02
  Speaker 4: to kick in and I was just like, something is
• 15:05
  Speaker 4: not right, and you go. And I went to a
• 15:08
  Speaker 4: midwife appointment and I was like, he's not moving. He's
• 15:11
  Speaker 4: usually very active, and they're like did their scans and
• 15:13
  Speaker 4: tests and they were like, look, we're happy with like
• 15:16
  Speaker 4: he's there, his heartbeats strong, We're okay. And I was like, okay, okay,
• 15:20
  Speaker 4: and they sent me home and you take.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: That as gospel.
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: The expert yea, the heartbeats fine, and like that's a
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: massive relief for any expecting it's.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: Just my anxiety again. Yeah, he could be feeling my
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: anxiety and his sort of yeah.
• 15:34
  Speaker 4: And then I thought, oh, maybe before they come out,
• 15:36
  Speaker 4: maybe they just stopped moving. I don't know, Like it
• 15:39
  Speaker 4: was my first time, I had no idea and every
• 15:41
  Speaker 4: pregnancy is different, so all my friends have different stories
• 15:43
  Speaker 4: as well. But then the second night I went home
• 15:45
  Speaker 4: and I laid awake all night just with my hand
• 15:48
  Speaker 4: on my stomach, and I was like, man, he's not moving,
• 15:51
  Speaker 4: and just that anxiety. So I went in the next
• 15:54
  Speaker 4: day and I was just like, you have to check this.
• 15:57
  Speaker 4: I'm telling you something is wrong with my baby. And
• 16:00
  Speaker 4: then they checked and he ended up having an irregular
• 16:05
  Speaker 4: heartbeat and they think that he wasn't getting nutrients from
• 16:08
  Speaker 4: the placenta anymore. So they're like, we're going to get
• 16:11
  Speaker 4: him out right now. So they I was induced and
• 16:13
  Speaker 4: he came out five hours later.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: Holy.
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And you said it was around the Jude date.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: Whereabouts were you?
• 16:20
  Speaker 4: I think it was actually a couple of days after
• 16:21
  Speaker 4: the Jue date, so I think I was like forty
• 16:23
  Speaker 4: and three or something.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so he's ready. He was ready, He was ready, Okay.
• 16:26
  Speaker 4: But yeah, and it's just, you know, it's so scary
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: when you think, oh, what happened if I had just
• 16:31
  Speaker 4: let him stay there and I didn't, if I just
• 16:35
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: I mean, you can always about it, but I know
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: we have been speaking to a lot of experts lately,
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: Sam about childbirth and what dads can do in that environment.
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: Was there anything in particular that Jeordie did that was
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: very helpful and if it doesn't have to be to
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: be honest, Ash and I were both a bit average, Yeah,
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: we'd call it. At the same time. Was there anything
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: that he did that you were like, probably wouldn't do
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: that again?
• 17:05
  Speaker 5: Well, you know what, he was actually pretty good.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: I hate to put him on the spot here, Sam,
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: because we love Jordie. He's a great guy.
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: It great sounds like a really emotional, available, mature man,
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: which which like we love, we stand, we love that.
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: But I heard that he did have a request to
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: a nurse or a midwife and again, Jeordie, I love you. Yeah,
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: look no shame, no shame, no, no shame. But what
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: was it? What to ask for?
• 17:30
  Speaker 4: So Jordy while I.
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: Was and Jeordie, we love you again, asked for a
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: cigarette while I was in labor.
• 17:38
  Speaker 4: Obviously my body is going through a whole lot. Let
• 17:42
  Speaker 4: me just emphasize.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: Also, we'll just preface that we've done a tens machine,
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: so we get, we get we're brave. Okay, we are
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: brave man.
• 17:52
  Speaker 4: That is so.
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: We got to be like, okay, that's true.
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: We did do a tens machine and like we couldn't
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: hack level ten.
• 18:02
  Speaker 5: Yeah, we got to you guys must know exactly what
• 18:05
  Speaker 5: it's like.
• 18:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, but yeah, JORDI had a headache. So the
• 18:12
  Speaker 4: guy and I was like, you know, obviously in the
• 18:17
  Speaker 4: thick of it, and I was say ten, and Jordie
• 18:20
  Speaker 4: was like, I hate to be that guy, but I
• 18:22
  Speaker 4: got a killer headache.
• 18:26
  Speaker 5: I was like you, and he's like, can.
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: You what about me? I know?
• 18:35
  Speaker 4: And I still give him a hard time about that,
• 18:37
  Speaker 4: and is he regret asking? He heard me talk about it?
• 18:41
  Speaker 4: And he goes, well, I didn't want the moment meeting
• 18:44
  Speaker 4: my son ruined by.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: Fair fair enough, the squeaky wheel gets the oil.
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: I know. It reminds me remember that old Pandle adder.
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: It was like, I can't play headache. Don't play with
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: a headache. It's like, don't meet you keep it the
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: head quick check if dad's okay.
• 19:02
  Speaker 4: First, did they give him one or they actually did?
• 19:06
  Speaker 4: And then she's like, here'ship panadole. Mate. She's like, I'm
• 19:10
  Speaker 4: not actually supposed to give you any panadle and he's like, oh,
• 19:14
  Speaker 4: thanks so much. And then I anyway, so I packed it.
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: When I was going to hospital with Bobby, I packed
• 19:20
  Speaker 4: him some panadol, just.
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: In case, good good, good good. We can't give you
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: and it just give me the green whistle through this.
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: It's painful, and you're like, that's bad. You just keep
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: your mouth shut.
• 19:32
  Speaker 5: JORDI, I tell you what my brother did do.
• 19:35
  Speaker 4: My little brother actually was staying with me.
• 19:37
  Speaker 5: I don't remember when my brother was there.
• 19:39
  Speaker 4: And I was talking about my birth blah blah blah. Anyway,
• 19:42
  Speaker 4: I was in so much pain. Obviously, baby just came out.
• 19:46
  Speaker 4: And my little brother asked me, but you had an epidural,
• 19:49
  Speaker 4: so it doesn't really count, does It's no longer your brother?
• 19:57
  Speaker 5: And I was like, mate, and he goes, yeah, but
• 19:59
  Speaker 5: you know what I mean?
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, no, I don't know. I don't know
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: what you know. It's like he's had one before.
• 20:06
  Speaker 4: It's exactly what.
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: The list of things not.
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: To say to one that's just had a baby that's
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: a cracker after after the birth of.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: You first, what was motherhood like? In the say, the
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: first first grasp at motherhood.
• 20:23
  Speaker 4: I mean, I struggled breastfeeding. I've been very open with that,
• 20:26
  Speaker 4: and I found that the first time around with Teddy,
• 20:30
  Speaker 4: I found that really difficult, just the opinions and the
• 20:37
  Speaker 4: pressure to do everything perfectly. I found that really really
• 20:41
  Speaker 4: difficult in terms of my connection with my baby. I
• 20:45
  Speaker 4: loved becoming a mom. I love babies. I just I
• 20:48
  Speaker 4: absolutely loved it. And I was like, you know, that
• 20:50
  Speaker 4: was worth a hallish pregnancy.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 20:53
  Speaker 4: I was so grateful to have a healthy baby, and
• 20:56
  Speaker 4: like just the gratitude as well to go feel he's
• 20:58
  Speaker 4: here and he's healthy, because I spend nine months freaking
• 21:01
  Speaker 4: out obviously.
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: And then you had the like you can imagine like
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: like you're saying, and I felt it when you said
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: you're like, I was just so happy he came out,
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: he was happy and healthy.
• 21:11
  Speaker 5: Oh man, like that feeling.
• 21:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah, So I really really genuinely loved it, just overwhelming joy.
• 21:17
  Speaker 4: But the pressure of every and like midwife's coming to
• 21:20
  Speaker 4: your house and being like, oh are you doing this?
• 21:23
  Speaker 4: So how much is and so much noise and opinions.
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: I found that really difficult. And you know, as a
• 21:29
  Speaker 4: I think I'm naturally can be quite an anxious person,
• 21:32
  Speaker 4: so like that just plays on your anxiety, going oh, yeah,
• 21:35
  Speaker 4: like I think I'm doing a good job, but everyone's
• 21:38
  Speaker 4: telling me i'm not, you know, like all telling me
• 21:40
  Speaker 4: how I can do it better, and you just I
• 21:43
  Speaker 4: don't know.
• 21:43
  Speaker 5: I think it was really different. The second time round.
• 21:46
  Speaker 5: I was so much more.
• 21:47
  Speaker 4: Relaxed because I was just like Lah and I struggled
• 21:49
  Speaker 4: breastfeeding again with Bobby, and I was just like, whatever,
• 21:52
  Speaker 4: he's a bottle, Like he's so happy and beautiful, Like
• 21:55
  Speaker 4: that's all you, that's all you, all I can wish for,
• 21:57
  Speaker 4: you know, And he's so healthy and beautiful.
• 21:59
  Speaker 5: And I'm like botish model, like you know whatever. I
• 22:03
  Speaker 5: always say to mums and parents anyone.
• 22:05
  Speaker 4: I'm just like, do whatever you have to do to
• 22:08
  Speaker 4: get by the.
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: Path of least resistance.
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and people fall into like you were saying, there's
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: the other voices and stuff. I'm thinking back to my
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: first and April being like, look where we're at, like
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: all the time, how big he is.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: And then when the second one you're like.
• 22:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know how many weeks I am, Like
• 22:25
  Speaker 4: it was really and also you're looking after a toddler
• 22:27
  Speaker 4: as well, so you just don't have it went quite
• 22:30
  Speaker 4: fast considering because you're chasing after a toddler, I don't
• 22:34
  Speaker 4: have time to know.
• 22:34
  Speaker 5: Physicized of a p or what.
• 22:38
  Speaker 4: But yeah, I found it so much easier the second time,
• 22:40
  Speaker 4: and even like dealing with two people always like how
• 22:44
  Speaker 4: is it, and I'm like, yeah, I really like it.
• 22:47
  Speaker 4: It's like there's obviously challenges for sure, but I think,
• 22:50
  Speaker 4: you know, I'm much more comfortable in my parenting and
• 22:54
  Speaker 4: who I am as a mom and things that I
• 22:58
  Speaker 4: don't quite get right or my bad days.
• 23:00
  Speaker 5: I'm more forgiving to myself.
• 23:02
  Speaker 4: I think.
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, mums, especially new mums, and we've spoken to a
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: lot of them, they put so much pressure on themselves
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: to be able to do the job perfectly straight away.
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: And we always say it's like the first day on
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: a new job, right, and then when you do, and
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: even as dad, it's like when we have our second
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: I felt more relaxed, did you Oh yeah, yeah, I
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: kind of feel like, do you know what I'm doing?
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: But something there will help me figure it out. Yeah,
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: it's going to be okay. Yeah, yeah, second time on
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: the roller coaster, you know what the twists and turns
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: are going to be. To an extent, you've always been
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: really vocal about your struggles with anxiety and mental health.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: There is no situation that is a greater emotional roller coaster.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: Roller coaster analogies scared the theme there is a wild
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: ride those part of it. It's tumultuous for your emotions,
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: Like it's fucking wild. Even for people going into childbirth
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: mum or dad that have great mental health, it can
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: really throw them. So how did you make sure that
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: you're on top of your mental health postpartum?
• 24:01
  Speaker 4: I made sure that I saw a psychologist beforehand, Like
• 24:05
  Speaker 4: during my pregnancy, I went and saw a psychologist because
• 24:09
  Speaker 4: I was really nervous about that and I was just like,
• 24:11
  Speaker 4: I've had depressive episodes throughout my whole life, and there's
• 24:16
  Speaker 4: hormones and there's all sorts of things happening change, And
• 24:19
  Speaker 4: so I went and saw a psychologist beforehand, and just
• 24:22
  Speaker 4: to make sure that I was healthiest version of myself
• 24:25
  Speaker 4: mentally going into this.
• 24:27
  Speaker 5: And also she gave me lots of tips.
• 24:28
  Speaker 4: And advice on how to navigate through motherhood. And she
• 24:33
  Speaker 4: said one of the things that I always think about,
• 24:37
  Speaker 4: and I always remind my sister as well, because we're
• 24:39
  Speaker 4: always chatting about this sort of stuff.
• 24:40
  Speaker 5: She's got girls older eleven and seven.
• 24:43
  Speaker 4: The most important thing you can do as a parent,
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: even if you make mistakes.
• 24:49
  Speaker 5: You can make mistakes, you.
• 24:50
  Speaker 4: Can lose your temper, you can you know, have a
• 24:53
  Speaker 4: bad parenting day. She's like, repair is the most important
• 24:56
  Speaker 4: thing for healthy foundations for your children and your relationship
• 25:01
  Speaker 4: to create secure attachment style. So she's like, if you
• 25:04
  Speaker 4: be accountable, if you say sorry and repair that, it's
• 25:09
  Speaker 4: that that's the greatest gift you can give your child.
• 25:11
  Speaker 4: And I thought that was really refreshing. So days that
• 25:14
  Speaker 4: I do have, you know, a shorter you know, I
• 25:18
  Speaker 4: get frustrated or I'm like snap, or I'm just like,
• 25:21
  Speaker 4: you know, just like ah, you know those days when
• 25:24
  Speaker 4: you're just like getting pulled in every direction.
• 25:26
  Speaker 5: I just think it was just a bad moment.
• 25:29
  Speaker 4: I say, so, I'm like, I'm really sorry, I you know,
• 25:32
  Speaker 4: and I make sure I repair that and then I think, okay,
• 25:35
  Speaker 4: then we just reset and we start again.
• 25:37
  Speaker 5: And there's always going to be days.
• 25:39
  Speaker 4: There's going to be there's days where I think that,
• 25:41
  Speaker 4: you know, I'm like, man, I really nailed it, you know,
• 25:44
  Speaker 4: minimal screen time, healthy food, calm, fun. Yeah, I'm like,
• 25:50
  Speaker 4: look at me. But then other days I'm like, there's Bluie,
• 25:54
  Speaker 4: here's some mcdonal's chips, and like, you know, you just
• 25:57
  Speaker 4: you have good days and bad days. And I think
• 25:59
  Speaker 4: we just need to be under to ourselves when we
• 26:01
  Speaker 4: have those moments where we're not our best and just
• 26:04
  Speaker 4: be forgiving to ourselves and try.
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: To repair that.
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the repair things super important, and like, yeah, I
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: feel like sometimes when you have those bad days and
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: you don't address it before they go, I feel so bad,
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: oh man, because like also as well, they're looking at
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: you going, okay, well, if you're not willing to repair
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: this with me somewhere, then I'm not willing to repair
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: my behavior with whoever else I'm dealing with down the track.
• 26:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I suck at saying sorry. But even sometimes when
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to get Marley, she's very defined at the moment,
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: So whenever I ask her to do anything, it's always
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: like in a moment. Sometimes getting out of the bath,
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm gonna fucking grab that sounds I'm on
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: her shoulder, But I'm like, instead of trying to coax
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: her out of the bath, I'm like, I'm just going
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: to grab her, wrap on a towel and take your
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: upstairs to get a change. And sometimes she's like, oh
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: that was like Daddy, you like you've spoken an angry voice,
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: and I'm like I'm sorry. Yeah, I should have got angry,
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: And it's wild how much of a difference it makes,
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: and watching them hear those words coming from a parent.
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: And like telling them why you're sorry too, Like I
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: felt like, yeah, I feel if I don't do that,
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: I feel like I've loved it, and yeah, I think.
• 27:12
  Speaker 5: It's so important.
• 27:12
  Speaker 4: And even from like Ted's only two, but I'm constantly
• 27:16
  Speaker 4: like if I like am short with him and I'm
• 27:19
  Speaker 4: just like, I think it's so important, and even with him,
• 27:23
  Speaker 4: I'll be like, I'm so sorry. He's actually very cute.
• 27:25
  Speaker 4: I'm like, that was mummy's fault. I really shouldn't have
• 27:27
  Speaker 4: spoken to you that. I'm just feeling I'm just really
• 27:30
  Speaker 4: tired at the moment, really sorry, And he will go,
• 27:32
  Speaker 4: that's mummy's fault. It's fun, it's really funny, and I'm like, yeah, night.
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: It was when you talk about the early days of
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: the pressure that you were feeling and like that build
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: up of anxiety. Is there any situations where your support network,
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: your friends, or your family were really helping you through
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: those moments?
• 27:58
  Speaker 4: Oh? Yeah, I mean, you know, throughout my entire life,
• 28:01
  Speaker 4: I have been so blessed with beautiful friends, I've got
• 28:06
  Speaker 4: so many great friends and family.
• 28:09
  Speaker 5: They're my biggest supporters.
• 28:10
  Speaker 4: They're honestly yeah, I mean, I don't think I could
• 28:13
  Speaker 4: do anything without their support. They're just so loving and
• 28:16
  Speaker 4: they're always there to listen. And I've one of my
• 28:19
  Speaker 4: best girlfriends, she's in Melbourne, and I would just send
• 28:21
  Speaker 4: her a voice note being.
• 28:22
  Speaker 5: Like, oh my god, I'm going to have a mental breakdown.
• 28:26
  Speaker 4: She just like go outside and I'm like, okay, help anyway.
• 28:31
  Speaker 4: And it's really refreshing having friends that don't judge you,
• 28:35
  Speaker 4: that just go mate it's a bad day.
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: It might be really obvious, but if there are people
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: listening where they know that a mum or dad has
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: struggled in the past with mental health and they're finding
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: it tough with a newborn or their child, if they
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: reach out to them with their problems, like you said
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: listening with no judgment, Is there any other advice you
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: can give of how people can better support when someone
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: is reaching out with their.
• 28:58
  Speaker 4: Problems Listening with that judgment one hundred percent. Also just
• 29:02
  Speaker 4: allowing people to feel safe to talk. For women especially,
• 29:07
  Speaker 4: I mean, women work through their problems by talking about it.
• 29:10
  Speaker 4: That's just about how our brains work, so certainly like
• 29:13
  Speaker 4: providing space to be there to listen to support also
• 29:17
  Speaker 4: if you can, like my sister will come over and
• 29:20
  Speaker 4: she will just like sit with me and just be
• 29:22
  Speaker 4: I just think it's the presence of people all the difference.
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: It's hard to like open up if there's the fear
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: of being judged about how you're actually feeling. And that's
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: probably a really big reason a lot of people don't,
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: so they definitely should do that.
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: So it's pretty powerful. Yeah, And do you know, especially men, now,
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: I've got to say, you look fucking amazing for someone.
• 29:43
  Speaker 6: Who's I was just gonna ask and say, that is
• 29:54
  Speaker 6: so lovely.
• 29:57
  Speaker 5: I had a shower and make up on.
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: That's the trick.
• 30:01
  Speaker 4: That is so lovely. It's actually been three months, so.
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: Oh god, I know that.
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: How are you going with with I mean, you've got
• 30:07
  Speaker 3: a toddler and a three month old?
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, how's that? How's that going?
• 30:11
  Speaker 4: Oh? Man, I love it so much, I really do.
• 30:14
  Speaker 4: I think, Like, I mean, there's obviously testing times, but
• 30:17
  Speaker 4: you know, I think Ted's at a really funny age.
• 30:19
  Speaker 5: He's too, and it is so fun.
• 30:22
  Speaker 4: It's hilarious because you see the good parts of yourself
• 30:25
  Speaker 4: as well, and you also see that not so great
• 30:27
  Speaker 4: parts about yourself and you're like, oh, he's copying me.
• 30:30
  Speaker 5: That sounds exactly like me.
• 30:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah, he's got this bit of attitude and he'll go,
• 30:34
  Speaker 4: I'll be like, Ted, come on, scrabower, and he goes,
• 30:36
  Speaker 4: hang on, oh yeah, and I heard my own voice
• 30:42
  Speaker 4: echoed back, and I was like in this small child,
• 30:44
  Speaker 4: and I was like, oh yeah, you just want to.
• 30:46
  Speaker 5: Catch yourself going.
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: It's funny they pick up on like my son would
• 30:50
  Speaker 3: pick up how April swears and not how I swear,
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: and I'd be like, that's you.
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: You did that.
• 30:56
  Speaker 4: I have to tell you, my beautiful, precious head. I
• 31:02
  Speaker 4: couldn't talk about my son forever and ever and ever.
• 31:04
  Speaker 4: He's the best and I love him so much. He's
• 31:06
  Speaker 4: a very gentle, sweet angel. He's so sweet. It's like
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: he's too pure for this world.
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: Is what I always think.
• 31:13
  Speaker 4: Anyway, It's very funny when the very first time he
• 31:18
  Speaker 4: caught me off guard, he said to me, He's like, Mama,
• 31:20
  Speaker 4: come here, and I was like, okay, lovely, yeah, So
• 31:25
  Speaker 4: like Toddleday between me and my lean down and he
• 31:27
  Speaker 4: leans into me, and I think he's going to give
• 31:29
  Speaker 4: me a kiss, and I'm like, oh honey, and he goes,
• 31:32
  Speaker 4: fux sake.
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: It's always fox sake. It's always and that's you, right, that's.
• 31:41
  Speaker 4: Just like he looks just straight at me.
• 31:44
  Speaker 7: He goes, that's you, and I'm like, I got and
• 31:46
  Speaker 7: I was like, maybe you didn't say that, like and
• 31:48
  Speaker 7: then like every time he loves cars, like and so
• 31:51
  Speaker 7: his truck trailer it always falls off his robes and sake.
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: At least he's using it in the right car text.
• 32:00
  Speaker 4: I know. I'm so proud of him.
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: It's a weird situation.
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: Boy, it's a weird situation as a parent when they're
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: like they do something like that that you're kind of
• 32:09
  Speaker 3: proud it's funny, but you like can't show those emotions
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: because you don't think.
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: It's and that. Like the kid. If I've laughed.
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: At things my kids have said and then they thought
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: I'm allowed to do this, and they keep going, it's like, who.
• 32:21
  Speaker 4: Well, yeah, we've tried. I haven't addressed it. I'm like,
• 32:23
  Speaker 4: don't address it. Because even little things like we say
• 32:26
  Speaker 4: to Ted, stop driving cars on your brother's head, like
• 32:28
  Speaker 4: things like that. I say that about four times a
• 32:30
  Speaker 4: day because he always drives his cars on his head,
• 32:32
  Speaker 4: and he's.
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: Like it's good.
• 32:35
  Speaker 4: It's a perfect peal right, And because I say don't
• 32:39
  Speaker 4: do that, of course that's all he ever does.
• 32:41
  Speaker 5: And so I'm like, I don't address to swearing, and.
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: You're like, drive on your brother's head. You can swear.
• 32:48
  Speaker 4: All. Yeah, it's like you got to do a bit
• 32:50
  Speaker 4: of a best psychology. It's like trying to like, do
• 32:52
  Speaker 4: you kung food trick them into like doing the things
• 32:55
  Speaker 4: that they're supposed to be doing. But yeah, anyway, I
• 32:57
  Speaker 4: have to be really mindful of it.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: I've given up. I'm we even watching my language now.
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: I just like, whatever they know it's bad, they can
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: say it. I don't even care.
• 33:06
  Speaker 4: Oh that's a refreshing.
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: When I call Ash in the car and it don't speaker,
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: my kids are like, there's not the one.
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: I can't.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: I just honestly, I've just given up. I think at
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: one point.
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: We were like, just let's just watch it as parents do,
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: which is I mean, it's right or wrong thing to
• 33:23
  Speaker 3: do whatever? And then I'm just like, I think, April,
• 33:25
  Speaker 3: we really just watched I swinging, and I'm like, you
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: know what I'm gonna do? The opposite. I really couldn't
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: give a shit anymore. I'm just gonna got three kids. Yeah,
• 33:33
  Speaker 3: we're just all swearing each other.
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: She's just as bad.
• 33:36
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, like I because I've got a horror
• 33:39
  Speaker 4: Like I'm the worst that swearing. Like I'm so bad
• 33:42
  Speaker 4: at it. I blame my brother's a truck driver. My
• 33:44
  Speaker 4: dad's a truck driver. Like it's just the truck drivers.
• 33:48
  Speaker 4: It's the truck country. You need to watch out for that. Yeah,
• 33:51
  Speaker 4: Avery is the driver truck So that's probably why. So
• 33:54
  Speaker 4: I'm just like, that's because of them, and that's why.
• 33:56
  Speaker 4: But you know, it's part.
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: Of your personality too, right, And I think I did
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: get a bit of feedback on the podcast, say Matt
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: swears too much, but I was.
• 34:05
  Speaker 4: Like, yeah, I swear too much him.
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: I don't know if you feel this at all, And
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: if you don't, you can be like that's just you,
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: big guy. But I always wanted to be a dad,
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: Like always were so excited. When I became a dad,
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: it was amazing. And that wind is just fucking wind.
• 34:20
  Speaker 5: How I thought it was a trucking.
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: Very good, But I always wanted to be a dad.
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: And when I became a dad, I was like, this
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: is fucking great. I know it's cliche, but I was like,
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: this is amazing. I love it. And now that I'm
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: staring down the barrel of thirty eight, I think social
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: circles become a lot smaller, and I'm kind of I'm
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: more dad than I am my Matt before kids, maybe
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: I think with Marley and Lola was a bit even keel,
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: But now I'm becoming like ninety percent dad, and I
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: think I'm kind of having a bit of an identity crisis,
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: a bit where I'm like, oh, like I want to
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: retain some of my youth. Do you love who you
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: are now as a mom? Do you try and hold
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: on to parts of your youth at all?
• 35:05
  Speaker 4: You know? I actually I was talking to my sister
• 35:09
  Speaker 4: about this. I think there are parts that I miss,
• 35:13
  Speaker 4: but the majority of it, I think I'm a far
• 35:15
  Speaker 4: better person now. I think I'm I think I think
• 35:19
  Speaker 4: back on who I was. I was like, man, I
• 35:20
  Speaker 4: was so selfish and yeah, and my sister, my sister
• 35:25
  Speaker 4: always says, she's like, you're the best version of yourself
• 35:27
  Speaker 4: now than you've ever been. You're the happiest, and I
• 35:30
  Speaker 4: think that's because I have a different relationship with my past,
• 35:34
  Speaker 4: and I'm actually trying to get better at it because
• 35:37
  Speaker 4: you often, we always think about all the horrible things
• 35:40
  Speaker 4: we've done, you know, all like the selfish things or
• 35:43
  Speaker 4: the mistakes we made.
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: Right before I go to sleep.
• 35:45
  Speaker 5: Yeah, right, what is with that?
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: Every night?
• 35:47
  Speaker 5: I'm always like, why can't I think about all the
• 35:50
  Speaker 5: great things I've done?
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: Instead?
• 35:51
  Speaker 4: You're like, man, you're.
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: A real piece of shit, the worst. I'm like, oh
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: my god, yeah, I know.
• 35:58
  Speaker 4: But I think I'm I think I'm the best version
• 36:00
  Speaker 4: of myself now. But there are parts of me that
• 36:03
  Speaker 4: like I miss. I don't particularly work that much at
• 36:07
  Speaker 4: the moment, I'm solely focused on but like, there's the
• 36:13
  Speaker 4: creative part of my brain really wants to be creative,
• 36:17
  Speaker 4: so I miss that.
• 36:18
  Speaker 5: But in terms of like I miss dancing. Actually, I
• 36:22
  Speaker 5: really miss dancing with my friends because I was. I mean,
• 36:24
  Speaker 5: I'm not very good at it, but I really love it.
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: Play the track people comes on, I don't know, but there's.
• 36:38
  Speaker 4: Wrung with it, yeah, I mean sure, but yeah, there's
• 36:45
  Speaker 4: daily parts of myself that I missed.
• 36:46
  Speaker 5: But all around, I think I'm a far better person now.
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: I agree, Yes, you sort of become like you do
• 36:52
  Speaker 3: look back and you go, oh, I was so selfish,
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: But that's because you really just have to worry about
• 36:56
  Speaker 3: yourself right now that you've got kid multiple I'll.
• 36:59
  Speaker 5: Tell you what I do.
• 37:00
  Speaker 4: Miss I always say to Jordi all the time, I
• 37:03
  Speaker 4: was like, man, once these abs come back, just got away.
• 37:12
  Speaker 5: And I'll always get like really.
• 37:16
  Speaker 4: Dagon shots on my so Jordy he's like, and he goes,
• 37:21
  Speaker 4: I have that for like three months, and they're like,
• 37:25
  Speaker 4: I feel you've been pregnant for about one hundred years.
• 37:27
  Speaker 4: But I'm like, don't you worry, it's coming back.
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: When Christmas comes around, I will send you a tube
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: of protein to. One question we always end on is
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: when Bobby and Teddy they've grown up, no longer living
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: at home, what's the one thing you want them to
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: remember about the house they grew up in.
• 37:46
  Speaker 5: Oh wow, that's a beautiful question. Makes me want to cry.
• 37:50
  Speaker 4: I often, I very often think about what kind of
• 37:53
  Speaker 4: legacy am I leaving for my boys? And you know
• 37:56
  Speaker 4: what's interesting, I'm not sure if you guys have felt
• 37:58
  Speaker 4: the same, but since becoming a parent, I've started to
• 38:02
  Speaker 4: think about mortality, and you think I often think about
• 38:06
  Speaker 4: that and I think far out I'm going to leave
• 38:08
  Speaker 4: this earth one day and I'm like yeah, and I'm like,
• 38:13
  Speaker 4: what am I leaving behind?
• 38:14
  Speaker 5: What type of person? I'm very sentimental.
• 38:16
  Speaker 4: I always write notes for my boys, like even if
• 38:18
  Speaker 4: there's a photo all right on the back, something beautiful
• 38:21
  Speaker 4: that I remember about that day because and I think
• 38:23
  Speaker 4: it's also because I lost my step dad really suddenly,
• 38:25
  Speaker 4: so I just think quite young, so I think to
• 38:29
  Speaker 4: know whether you know, I just freak out about that
• 38:31
  Speaker 4: sort of stuff. Even when I caught the plane, I
• 38:34
  Speaker 4: was like, if I die, I love you guys so much.
• 38:37
  Speaker 4: He's like, ha, You'll be fine.
• 38:39
  Speaker 5: We love you.
• 38:41
  Speaker 4: I'm so weird about it and like anyway, So yeah,
• 38:45
  Speaker 4: I often think about that, and I just hope they
• 38:48
  Speaker 4: always feel like I created a very loving home. I
• 38:53
  Speaker 4: always feel like they felt safe to be themselves. I
• 38:56
  Speaker 4: hope that they Yeah, I hope they feel like an
• 38:59
  Speaker 4: abundant it's of love and joy. I really truly feel
• 39:02
  Speaker 4: that in my core. And I always say that I'm
• 39:04
  Speaker 4: going to build a house at the back of our
• 39:06
  Speaker 4: house so they can never leave, Like, actually, do you
• 39:11
  Speaker 4: know what's very will quickly say a very cute thing
• 39:13
  Speaker 4: that I do at the moment is I do positive
• 39:16
  Speaker 4: affirmations with Ted, and he's so cute and little, and
• 39:18
  Speaker 4: so every day start saying and he goes, I am
• 39:20
  Speaker 4: so smart, and he guess I'm so beautiful and caring
• 39:22
  Speaker 4: and kind and his little cute voice and he's sort
• 39:25
  Speaker 4: of and it's like, so cute. I just hope that
• 39:28
  Speaker 4: my boys know how loved they are and how capable
• 39:30
  Speaker 4: they are, and like, I just think they're the best
• 39:32
  Speaker 4: things in the whole entire world, and they've made my
• 39:34
  Speaker 4: life so much better.
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: Great answer. It was a beautiful answer. And this is
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: going to sound woo woo to bear with me, but
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: you are someone who like radiates warmth. I'm like, those
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: boys are so lucky to have you as a master,
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: and Jeordie is very lucky to have you as a wife,
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: and we'd be very lucky to have you on the podcast.
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: That is so good.
• 39:57
  Speaker 5: I really appreciate it. Thank you so much.
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: Good luck. By the way, with the we spot before
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: we started recording, you're steering down the barrel at six
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: months six months.
• 40:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah, of course, yeah, yeah, six months in the caravan.
• 40:09
  Speaker 4: We're going to set off in about a month, you know.
• 40:13
  Speaker 4: Fun it'll be very fun, but like you know, close quarters,
• 40:16
  Speaker 4: so we'll have to we'll.
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: Keep it close eye going you travel contents on seven
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: Is it seven mate?
• 40:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah you can. We've got a tally show Jordy
• 40:28
  Speaker 4: seven tenths event. You can stream it on seven plus.
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: So yeah, awesome. I love it so much, pleasure, thanks
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: so much. Avin As Before we go, we have to
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: tell the listeners something very important. In fact, you could
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: argue that this isn't just a request, it is a
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: land I think I want to say it straight to it. Okay,
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: we need you, if you're listening right now, to please
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: give us a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, because
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: these are the reviews that are the fuel that keeps
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: us going after two very long years. Without these reviews,
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: we would dry up. We would be nothing, We will
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: be simply dust.
• 41:10
  Speaker 3: We would Oh. You could join us on social media.
• 41:12
  Speaker 3: Two Doting Dad's Instagram, TikTok Facebook. We look forward to.
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: Seeing you in all three areas of the internet. Goose
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: We're there waiting. Goodbye, join us. Bye. Two Doting Dads
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: the connections to land, see and community.
• 41:37
  Speaker 3: We pay our respects to their elders past and present,
• 41:40
  Speaker 3: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander
• 41:43
  Speaker 3: people's today,