Latest / Daily Inspiration: The Steve Harvey Morning Show / Work and Family: How to balance Work-Related Stress at Home and Work.

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Work and Family: How to balance Work-Related Stress at Home and Work. · Daily Inspiration: The Steve Harvey Morning Show

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the show.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: I am Rashwan McDonald, the host of Money Making Conversations Masterclass,
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: where we encourage people to stop reading other people's success
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: stories and start planning their own. Listen up as I
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: interview entrepreneurs from around the country, talk to celebrities and
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: ask them how they are running their companies, and speak
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: with dog profits who are making.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: A difference in their local communities.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: Now, sit back and listen as we unlock the secrets
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: to their success on Money Making Conversations Masterclass.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, Hello, this is Rashan McDonald. Welcome to Money
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: Making Conversations Masterclass. As I stated earlier, the information and
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: interviews and information that this show provides off for everyone.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: I'm here to help you reach your American dream. Just listen,
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: and if you listen carefully to my guests. So what
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to say, I am not trying to win
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: you over. I'm just trying to give you information that
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: you can take and kind of like marinate and make
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: your life better. And so that's what we do. If
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: we meet, we listen, we talk, and we become friends
• 1:06
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• 1:09
  Speaker 1: on my show, please visit Moneymaking Conversations dot Com and
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: click the b I Guess button. Let's get this show
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: started because she's on the line. My guest transitioned from
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: her role as a consultant for the Defense Intelligence Agency
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: to become one of America's most prominent team leadership and
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: performance coaches from startups to multimillion dollar enterprises. She drives
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: consistent and remarkable results. Please, welcome to Money Making Conversation
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: Mathster Class, Annie Yachts. How are you doing, Annie?
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: I'm great. I'm so happy to be here. Thanks for
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: having me.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: Now, where are you calling from? So I can make
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: sure everybody knows the democratic, the geographical location and time
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: zones you're working from today.
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: Well, I am out of person of Utah today. Okay,
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  Speaker 3: So I'm in a good zone. I hope.
• 1:55
  Speaker 4: Good show.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: Great, So I'm Eastsia two hours a two hour time
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: that's all different. Thank you for being able to marry
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: the time because it's a live show and you got
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: to call it on time. Now now, and this is
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: the first time we talked, and I I had you
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: on my podcast and the information you were delivering to
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: me and my audience on my podcast I thought was
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: so incredible. That I wanted to share to my live
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: audience in the Atlanta, Georgia area, and also streams the
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: worldwide on money making conversations Master Lives. Can you tell
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: everybody before we really get into the nuts and boats
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: of the interview, what you do?
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: Sure, I'd love to so I help very ambitious, high
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: performing entrepreneurs who struggle with that balance between home life
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: and business growth, who are really looking to scale and
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: grow rapidly, but they don't know what that missing link
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: is or what's pulling them back from obtaining more in
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: their life.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: Now, he was the interesting thing about it because I
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: was going through the interview and then I went Norseal
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: Leadership is a company driven to help already successful mail
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: entrepreneurs surpass revenue sealing by redefining that leadership at home
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: and in the office, that balance. You always talking about
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: women and parenting and the children and all that, But
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: we tend to leave the stress that men are under.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: How do they you know? They get up, We go,
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: we get up, I have to clean, I have to
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  Speaker 1: include myself and it andy. We get up, we go
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: to work, deal with all that stress. Then we come
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: back home and we don't know how to kind of
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: like navigate the relationship we either have with our spouse
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: or the significant other who may be at home waiting
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: to have a conversation with you and you don't feel
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: you don't know how to turn it off or turn
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: it on. Talk to us about that transition.
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: Sure, that transition that honestly is one of the hardest
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: things for so many of the men that I coach,
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: because you're you know, you're on all day at the
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: office or in your business. You're absolutely crushing it, you're
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: getting validated because you're creating incredible impact. And then a
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: lot of men they'll sit in there, you know, in
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  Speaker 3: their cars on the driveway and the way home and
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: just be like, gosh, I don't even know if I
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: want to go into my house right now because I
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: don't know what I'm going to walk into. And so
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: what's been interesting is when we talk about that transition,
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  Speaker 3: it's almost like we got to make sure that men
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  Speaker 3: have some downtime in between the office persona that they
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  Speaker 3: need to play and that sort of husband lover, father
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  Speaker 3: persona that they need to have now when they walk
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  Speaker 3: through the door, and that transition time. For most men,
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  Speaker 3: they don't get it. They don't have the ability to
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  Speaker 3: have that time because they're rushing from one thing to
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  Speaker 3: the next, and that also contributes to not being able
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  Speaker 3: to turn off their brain or their mind and to
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: be really present with their family too.
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  Speaker 1: Well, you know, and I have that problem too. I
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: do have that problem. I'll go home and in my
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: wife and go, oh, what you do today? And I
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  Speaker 1: just look at her because I'll just look at her,
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  Speaker 1: you know, because I know what I've done. But then
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: do I want.
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: To go through it all?
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  Speaker 1: Share that information? And so can you give Rushaun McDonald
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: and my male listeners and also the women who are
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: listening to the show who are dealing with these issues
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  Speaker 1: with men like me who come home knowing we have
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: to communicate, nor we because we've been communicating all day now,
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  Speaker 1: It's not like we can't talk all day all day now.
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  Speaker 1: We have to come out with dan do a different
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  Speaker 1: version of it, but be comfortable about it and don't
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  Speaker 1: feel like why are you bothering me type attitude talk
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  Speaker 1: to Well.
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  Speaker 3: Well, let me give you the secret sauce here. And
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: you might think this a little bit out there, right,
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: but what I can tell you is that if a
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  Speaker 3: man is able to take some transition time between when
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: he leaves the office and he comes home. And what
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: I tell most men to do is I tell them
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  Speaker 3: to think about, and this might be controversial, to think
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  Speaker 3: about the time they've had with their spouse or significant
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  Speaker 3: other where they were like they were feeling super sexually
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  Speaker 3: connected to them, right, because that usually allows a man
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: to shift out of that work persona into something into
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  Speaker 3: like that you know, more of that like husband lover persona,
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: and when you walk into the house feeling those feelings
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  Speaker 3: of being more emotionally connected, then when your spouse says
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: to you, like, well, what'd you do today? Right, the
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: whole point there is you can either redirect it back
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: onto her and be like, well, maybe I want to
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  Speaker 3: hear what you did today, you know? Or or right,
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  Speaker 3: you can say you can walk in and you can
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  Speaker 3: be like, you know what, I would love to just
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  Speaker 3: have a moment to connect with you rather than going
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: back through my entire day, because connection is what's the
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  Speaker 3: most important thing.
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  Speaker 1: So it's like, you know, watch a movie or something,
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: or share our meal or do something together. That's what
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  Speaker 1: you are suggesting.
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  Speaker 3: Well, it could be that, but what I like to
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: have a lot of couples do, or significant others do
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: and they're together, is spend five minutes just almost like
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  Speaker 3: sitting next to each other, touching each other, holding each
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  Speaker 3: other's hands, even looking to each other's eyes, just to
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: calm the nervous system enough that men and women together
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  Speaker 3: or significant others together can feel that connection again, because
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  Speaker 3: when we rush through our day, we're not feeling the connection.
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  Speaker 3: We're just going from one thing to the next thing.
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  Speaker 3: And what most couples lack is that connection intimacy of
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  Speaker 3: just staying into each other's eyes and seeing each other.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: Now you say something that's a part of it. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: you say something early, and I'm like creating a down
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  Speaker 1: moment like you said. Now, I don't go home and
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  Speaker 1: sit in my driveway. You know, I don't do that now.
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  Speaker 1: But sometimes when I my staff leaves at five, I'll
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  Speaker 1: like an hour, I'll go through different things and because
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  Speaker 1: I don't have them to deal with now now just
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  Speaker 1: Shane by himself, and it allows me to slow down
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  Speaker 1: a little bit and think about I might turn on ESPN,
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  Speaker 1: I might do different things that have gotten me out
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  Speaker 1: of this dominating.
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  Speaker 3: We've got to decompress here, right, decompressed and so and
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: so is that is that what I'm doing right?
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  Speaker 1: Would you suggest that to individuals who are dealing with
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: this massive amount of information they are dealing with at
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  Speaker 1: the office before they go home talk to us.
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  Speaker 3: Yes. So, what I typically recommend for almost all men
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  Speaker 3: who are you know, high powered, high ambition guys, is
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: that they have to take at least half an hour
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: between leaving the office and getting home to decompress. And
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  Speaker 3: usually what that looks like is I have them spend
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  Speaker 3: about ten minutes writing down all the things that they're
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  Speaker 3: concerned about, because at the end of the day, if
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  Speaker 3: your brain is still looping on everything is the work on.
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  Speaker 3: It feels like you have thousands of open loops and
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  Speaker 3: we need to close those off in order for you
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  Speaker 3: to be present when you get home. So the first
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  Speaker 3: ten minutes you plan writing down everything that comes to
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  Speaker 3: your mind that you don't want to forget or you're
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  Speaker 3: worried about. Then you spend ten minutes doing some activity
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  Speaker 3: that's a little bit mindless. It can be listening to
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  Speaker 3: music that makes you feel jazzed up. It can be
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  Speaker 3: taking a ten minute ESPN break. It could be anything
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: though that's not on your phone, per se but might
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: be on a screen in front of you. We just
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: don't want you to be locked into your phone, if
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: that's possible. And then after those ten minutes, I tell them,
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  Speaker 3: for five to ten minutes, I want you to think
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: of all the amazing moments and memories you've had with
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: your spouse or significant other, and I want you to
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: go from whether it's a vacation you've been on together
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: or an incredible intimate encounter you've had. I just want
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: the men to think about that for five to ten
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: minutes before they leave the office, because that puts you
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: in a completely different zone of emotion, of feeling, of connection,
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  Speaker 3: and it makes you want to go home to experience
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: more of that. So it's almost like a third minute,
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: you know, package of ten minutes, you know, just to
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: reset yourself a little bit and download everything from the day.
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: Ten minutes to be in a decompression zone, and then
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: ten minutes to be in the memories and the feelings
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: of how amazing your relationship has been in the past.
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  Speaker 1: Now here's the thing. Whoever's waiting on us at home,
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: they know, they know they know who's coming home. They
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: know they've they've been dealing with this what can they
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: do at the house waiting on this this, this non
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: verbally communicating master come through the door. There's there's wired up,
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: there's intense What can they do to prepare for that,
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: to offset it a little bit?
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: Well, I can tell you what I've coached a lot
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: of women on doing. But it may not be it
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: may be controversial.
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: Right, Oh no, no, don't do comperies controversial.
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: I was gonna tell you, like these women, I'm like,
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: it is your job, make sure that you have taken
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: at least half an hour to an hour for yourself,
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: but some way so that you're I'm not you know,
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: waiting for him to walk through the door to jump
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: on him. Right, right, You could jump on it if
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: you want to, in a hugging, like touching, kissing way. Right.
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: The whole point is when the man walks into the home,
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: we typically need to give him at least a wide
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: birth of ten to fifteen minutes him to settle in,
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: pepper him with questions or before we ask him about
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: his day, Like I just like to you know, when
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: I've been in relationships, I let the men walk into
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: the room, I say nothing other than maybe I'll go
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: over and give him a big hug and a kiss
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: and be like, I'm so happy you're home. And then
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: I distanced myself to give him time and space to settle.
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: And I make sure that when my man walks through
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: the door that I have done whatever I needed to
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: to calm my energy down and to get more into
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: this beautiful feminine connection vibe. Because from my perspective, the
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: man gets to what he gets to do to transition,
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: but so does the woman. We have a job to
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: do as well, right.
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: Because it's all about connecting. It's all about, you know,
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: carrying that moment of positivity and not allowing That's what
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: you said. Nor Star Leadership is a company driven to
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: help already successful male entrepreneurs. Is talk about revenue, that's
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: what you've been doing all day, but redefining a leadership
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: at home, and I should also say relationship at home
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: and in the office. That's that's why I was important
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: that I wanted to bring you on the show and
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: also be honest about what I'm doing and what, well
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: how I'm affected by. But you used the word when
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: we talked earlier, trauma, and how does that affect the entrepreneur?
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: The word trauma because you rarely hear well, you.
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: Rarely hear that word. But what I would tell everyone
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: listening is that when you are an entrepreneur, it means
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: that you've gone through something in your life that created
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: almost like some chaos that you wanted to be able
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: to manage and control. And so, as an entrepreneur, we
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: have had so many moments in our lives where we've
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: perceived a loss of control. And if you think about
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: back into your childhood, right these moments where you perceive
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: a loss of control and you feel helpless or unable
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: to respond to something, if you get really good at
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: managing that as a child, you're going to become an
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: entrepreneur because you can then get really good at putting
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: outsires and solving problems and being the person that everybody
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: comes to to get help or to get something done.
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: And so as entrepreneurs, it's really important to look at
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: your childhood a bit and be like, Okay, what was
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: my childhoodok what was there chaos there that I had
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: to manage? Because more often than not, we will create
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: chaos and business as an entrepreneur to try to manage
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: that same thing. And so I believe that all entrepreneurs
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: have some level of trauma in their background, and it's
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: very interesting to look at if you have a dynamic
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: in your home environment that's not as stable as you want.
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: I would say about ninety percent of entrepreneurs can't grow
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: and scale their business because they don't feel like they
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: have the stability at home to grow and scale, even
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: though they might want to, even though they might be
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: working around the clock and really grinding, they might not
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: be able to change the state of their business until
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: they lead differently at home and they take that then
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: into their business life.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: Okay, good, this is all great. I feel I'm becoming
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: a better person, and hopefully every person who's listening is
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: becoming a better person. And really is the interviewers focusing
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: on the men and what we have to acknowledge because
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: pride sets in work like weakness to can set in
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: and hold back to change. There are a lot of
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: bad words that we use as men that prevent us
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: from making the steps that you are suggesting. Correct And it's.
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: Very very true, very true, and many men are you know,
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: we don't like to ask for help, whether we're high
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: powered men or high powered women, right because we think
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: that asking for help is something that makes us weak
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: or vulnerable. But the reality is, as we go to
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: higher levels of performance for ourselves in our business, the
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: more we ask for help, the more we allow other
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: people to be on purpose in our lives. So I
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: think of asking for help now, and I always tell
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: myself every single person that I ask for help from,
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: they can step into their purpose, which means they're going
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: to be more motivated, more inspired. And if I can
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: give that to a member of my team, then everybody
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: is winning. So I always look at asking for help
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: now as an ability to give somebody purpose. And so
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: we have to change some of these paradigms as to
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: how we think about ourselves and how we think about
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: reaching out for support, otherwise we aren't going to up
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: level our performance.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: Cool. I'm speaking one of America's most prominent team leadership
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: and performance coaches. Northstow Leadership is a company. Her name any.
• 14:17
  Speaker 4: Yacht, Please don't go anywhere. We'll be right back with
• 14:21
  Speaker 4: more Money Making Conversations Masterclass. Welcome back to the Money
• 14:30
  Speaker 4: Making Conversations Masterclass, hosted by Rashaan McDonald. Money Making Conversations
• 14:35
  Speaker 4: Masterclass continues online at Moneymakingconversations dot com and follow Money
• 14:41
  Speaker 4: making conversations masterclass on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: No leadership. That's the company that any Yacht founded is
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: driven to have already successful male entrepreneurs or past revenue
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: ceilings by redefining that leadership role at home and in
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: the office. I told you earlier any that this this
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: is a live show, unlike my podcast. So already my
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: phone is blowing up with text man okay, And one
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: of the questions that keeps coming back rotating on my
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: texts is okay, rashon, what about dual incomes? What about
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: if the woman works and the man works. Okay, she's
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: not waiting at home for him to arrive all ten
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: stuff and war not. How do you deal with that? Annie?
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: Yes, well I've got an answer for you. So here's
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: what it really comes down to, ladies and gentlemen. It
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: comes down to the fact that both partners in a
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: relationship need to spend time decompressing before they re enter
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: the connection point of their relationship, which is the home.
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: So I would say the same thing to a man
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: that I would say to a woman here, which is
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: you have to have that decompression transition time where you
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: reconnect to who you are as a connected spouse or partner,
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: so you can feel those same feelings that got you
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: involved in with that person from the get go. And
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: most of us we raised from job to home, to
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: dinner to you know, family time, then to bed, and
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: we're not very present for most of it. What I'm
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: asking everybody to do is slow way down and give
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: yourselves a chance to reconnect to the feeling that got
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: you into that relationship with that person to start, so
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: you can be much more present in all of your
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: interaction with them once you walk through those doors. Whether
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: you're the breadwinner or a dual breadwinner couple, or you know,
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: it's some variety of both of those now here.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: It's something interesting that when we talk about entrepreneurship, I
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: always see people having different visions to their pathway to
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: be an entrepreneur. How did you see this as an
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: opportunity for you or did something happen period of time
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: you start seeing patterns in relationships, How did you develop
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: this as a form of entrepreneurship for your career?
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: So, to be really upfront with you, what I'd noticed.
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: I started working with a lot of companies at first,
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: and there were these high level executive teams that I
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: would work with, and what I started noticing is I
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: could teach the team how to be extreme high level performers,
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: but then the CEO or the entrepreneur would keep jumping
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: back in to try to fix things or change things
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: after the team was performing at a much higher level.
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: And after watching this for about ten years, I was like,
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: I can't teach the team. I've got to go after
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: this entrepreneur and figure out what is causing this entrepreneur
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: keep jumping back in even though the goal of the
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: entrepreneurs to get out of the organization and be able
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: to grow the organization without having to be involved in
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: the weeds all the time. And what I also realized
• 17:28
  Speaker 3: was these entrepreneurs they had some pattern in them that
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: was keeping them stuck in a certain level of their
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: own performance. So once I started digging in a little
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: bit deeper there, I started to see the patterns across
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: a variety of different entrepreneurs. And that's when I actually
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: realized with Sean that my ex husband and I we
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: had very similar trauma patterns that were causing us to
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: be stuck in our business. So when I was looking
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: at the patterns that we were in and I was
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: comparing those to all the other entrepreneurs that I'd worked with,
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: I started to see that there is almost always a
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: missing link or a blind spot in every single entrepreneur.
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: They literally cannot see what is stuck in their subconscious thought.
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: Because subconscious thought runs at about eleven million data points
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: a second, our conscious thought is only forty data points,
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: there's a lot missed in between. I actually just did
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: a session with the Gentleman last week, and he has
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: been caught in his business making a set amount of
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: money for years and he can't he couldn't get over
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: that barrier of getting to the next level. And I
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: sat down with him. I looked at the patterns between
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: his home life and his business life, and we were
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: able to identify that he wasn't stepping into more of
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: a masculine role in his home life, and he wasn't
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: stepping into the masculine role in his business. So once
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: we identified some ways to get him out of that
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: more i would say neutral or feminine role in his
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: home life or in his business, everything started to change.
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: He just texted me, He's like, I've already put it
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: into place the things you shared with me, and we
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: just grew this month by an extra ten k. So
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: it may not seem like a lot, but ten k
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: is a great change from one small change in your brain.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: Wow, Now it's all about leadership. You know, we talk
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: about leadership a lot on this show. The word vision
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: areas used a lot in public and positive you know,
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: follow your passions and things like that. What are the
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: top three leadership gaps for both entrepreneurs.
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: That's an awesome question. I've found from the past fifteen
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: years of working with companies probably ranging from about a
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: million to one point two billion, that the top three
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: leadership gaps are. Number one, there's a delegation gap. Most
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: people are not very good at delegating. They're not good
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: at holding responsibility and passing it to other people. So
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: you have a lot of balls that are dropped unnecessarily
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: so in business. So delegation is the first one. The
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: second one is giving and receiving feedback. That is connecting
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: because almost always when we're giving feedback it's because quote
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: unquote we've done something wrong. Most of us get defensive,
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: we lose productivity because we start second guessing our skill set.
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: So we have to learn to give and receive feedback
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: in a way that's much more connecting to allow us
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: to keep our productivity very high. So the second one
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: is that feedback gap, and then the third one is
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: typically a planning gap. And most people think that they're
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: very good at planning, but what most companies and individuals
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: tend to do is they tend to plan for the
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: perfect plan. Not many people work on contingency planning, and
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: most people don't talk to their teams about how they
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: contingency plan, and so you end up everybody goes after
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: this perfect plan that everybody thinks is going to happen
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: to be great, but we haven't planned for all the
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: fires that are going to happen, all the issues that
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: are going to come up, and we haven't planned how
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: to solve those before we launch a plan that contingency planning.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: Right, those are the three things, and I thank you
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: for sharing it with my audience. Fulfillment that's something that
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: drives me in that drives a lot of pentrebneus because
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: you because you if your goal or in a person,
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: then fulfillment is the goal, the complete but it's also
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: a consistency. But it also creates trauma because if you
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: don't see yourself achieving that level of fulfillment, then it
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: keeps not only where drama comes in, but also trauma
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: comes in there. Can you discuss that with my audience?
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: Yes. So one of the things that I realized from
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: working with all these entrepreneurs is that most of us
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: never really feel fulfilled and we don't feel a high
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: level of fulfillment because we're constantly going from one goal
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: or objective to the next, and when we get to
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: that goal or objective, we have a blip, like a
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: small moment of congratulating ourselves, and then we're on to
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: the next thing. So with most entrepreneurs that I worked with,
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: we had to redefine how we look at success because
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: what most people don't know and understand sometimes is that
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: and it's not our fault, right, we're conditioned to not
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: know that success is a feeling. So if success is
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: a feeling, and we redefine it to be, for example,
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: a sustainable feeling that we can experience every day that
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: can news over time, then success becomes something that we
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: can feel much more often. If we tie it to
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: a goal or to an objective, then we're constantly striving
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: trying to get to that feeling of getting to that
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: objective instead of creating a life for ourselves where we
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: feel good every day because we've redefined what success means
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: to us. So I spent a lot of time with
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: entrepreneurs looking at, well, what is your ideal day? And
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: how do we create that for you? And from that
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: ideal day and that feeling that you get from it,
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: how do we bring that into more of your business experience?
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: And you know, I want to share something with my
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: audience as well as you, Like I get up at
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: four thirty, and sometimes I fell into a bad habit
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: of working before I got to work, And so when
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: I got to work, I found myself just sitting in
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: my office going what do I do? Because I've already
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: completed so much work? So and so now I've learned, Okay,
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: we're shull, relax, stretch. Do use that moment of getting
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: up early. You can do some work, but don't turn
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: it into work. And when you get to work, then
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: it allows a comfortable transition for you and your employees
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: to be able to relate because you can come sometimes
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: start your job too far ahead of your employees and
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: so they just stand at you going okay, what coffee
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: did he drink? All right, can he slow down from me?
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: Can you help me out? And so my last question
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: is as we wrap up this interview, is that how
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: can as a leader, as an entrepreneur, the relationship between
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: your employees and you, how can you make that better?
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: And I may have shared something on my end that
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to do better that that means not come
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: in the room so fired up that you you fatigue,
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: got you your staff, or intimidate them. What are your suggestions?
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: So I have a couple of suggestions. I think the
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: first thing, well, the first one, honestly, is that we've
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: got to as entrepreneurs, we have to embody this like
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: this way of going about our lives where we actually
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: we feel better and we show our team that we're
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: not grinding twenty four to seven. So one of the
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: first things I tell entrepreneurs is if you want to
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: connect more deeply with your team, you have to show
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: them that you're taking time for yourself and making sure
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: that you're in the right mental space. So for me,
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: when I frontload my day, I don't get up at
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: four thirty in the morning because I'm going to do
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: a lot of extra work. I get up at four
• 24:21
  Speaker 3: thirty in the morning to make sure that I can
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: do all the things that matter to me, Like I
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: make sure I have an amazing breakfast, I get a
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: great workout in, I have some time with my Bible,
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: I talk to a couple of my amazing friends or
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: partners in this leadership work that I do. I make
• 24:35
  Speaker 3: sure I have a lot of connection early on in
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: the morning because that allows me to show up filled
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: up before I ever interact with my employees. I'm filled up,
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: I'm calm, I'm connected, and people feel that energy when
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: you walk in the door, and then they feel like, wow,
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: I want to be like that. I want to have
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: that same feeling, and then they start taking better care
• 24:52
  Speaker 3: of themselves as well, because again, if we want the
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: whole team to win, we all have to sort of
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: take ourselves to that next level of performance, which might
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: not me working really early in the morning. It might
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: be taking care of ourselves in front, loading our day
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: with some wins that when we walk into the office,
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: we've got the best energy we can have to attract
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: the most business and to attract the highest level of
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: performance from our team.
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: As usually, You're amazing, Annie, Can you tell people with
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: my audience, how we can reach out and you know contact.
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: You of course, well you can find me on Instagram,
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: Northstar dot Annie, or you can also always email me
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: Annie A N N I E at north Star Leadership
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: School dot com.
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: Thank you my friend, and we will talk soon, because
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: I would tell you, just like free therapy for we shine,
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: it makes me a better person, makes me a better person,
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: but also hopefully amazing to go makes hopefully I'm sure
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: it makes a lot of my audience members. And because
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: again the fact that men needs men need to start
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: acknowledging not flaws, just just energies that are not comfortable.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: When you go home and say I'm honey, I'm home
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: and know you're not, you just walk through the door.
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: You should walk through the door understanding that you need
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: to calm down and there's a person who's going to
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: start talking to you, and you should show appreciation that
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: they care enough to want to talk to you.
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: Is very true.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: All I want to do is I appreciate Jan we
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: talked to my friend. Thank you for coming on Money
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: Making Conversations Masterclass. Talk to him. This has been another
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: edition of Money Making Conversation Masterclass posted by me Rashaun McDonald.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: Thank you to our guests on the show today, and
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: thank you our listening to audience now. If you want
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: to listen to any episode I want to be a
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: guest on the show, visit Moneymaking Conversations dot com. Our
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: social media handle is money Making Conversations. Join us next
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: week and remember to always leave with your gifts. Keep winning.