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Transcript

Wet T-Shirt · F*ck Off Fridays

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome back to Fuck Off Fridays with your girl Liv and your girl Charlie.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_01: Coming up this week, we have a discussion about post-up clarity.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_02: We talk about the weirdest gear tube every given.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: We've got more ways to rage bake men.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: And we talk tutor-inspired phrases.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: Grab his level beverage.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: And off we go.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_02: So what are you loving this week?
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_02: This space, for one.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_02: Really enjoying the whole podcast show.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_02: Go on, Rich.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_02: Shout out over there.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_02: And actually, we've had loads of really positive feedback about people are loving this setup.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_02: They're enjoying the male input as well.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: Uh yeah, enjoying for the most part.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: For the most part.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: Some controversial opinions.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: I have been asked if Rich's face will ever appear.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I said maybe.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_02: He's mysterious.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_02: He's like, oh my god, you're like Big Brother.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I suppose I am.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I never really thought of it that way.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_02: You're big brother.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_02: So I think let's keep you secret.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_02: Under wraps.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_02: Keep him secret, keep him safe.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_02: Under wraps.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_02: That was a Lord of the Rings reference.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_02: You're a widow.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_02: For the fans.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_03: Don't build it up too much though, because there could be disappointment.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_02: Um other things I'm loving.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_02: So I went to a party recently.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_02: My friend's girlfriend came up to me and was like, You're Charlie, aren't you?
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, Yeah.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_02: I thought she just recognised me because I'm friends with him.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_02: And she was like, I've been listening to the podcast and I love it.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god, I love this.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's really cute.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_02: So really enjoyed that.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: I've had a few of those and I really enjoy it.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: Mm-hmm.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it was really cute.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_02: Um, other things I'm loving, nuns seem to be getting loads of hype on social media at the moment.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know if you've seen anything.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_02: So there's this new Nuns podcast, which is which is really pure.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_02: Oh god, don't invite us on.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_02: No, but if you watch, I'll send you some of their clips.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_02: Um they're called like, oh, I can't remember what they're called now.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, shout out to the nuns.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_02: But I'll call the nunnery.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_02: But I saw another clip, and it was basically in central London, yeah, nuns are renting out rooms to women.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_02: So because there's a cost of living crisis, yeah, and London is so expensive to live, they're basically renting out rooms just to women, and they've made this whole like sisterhood, it's really cute.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_02: And what's really great, and this is how welcoming they are, is there was a girl on the video that I watched who is training to be a stripper and a burlesque dancer, and they still welcome her in.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_02: All God's children.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, literally.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_02: All God's children.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_01: But don't they have a what do you call it?
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_02: Curfew.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_02: They do, and men aren't allowed in their rooms, but they are allowed in communal areas.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_02: Oh.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_02: So if you'd enjoy that.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's really good.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: It's really wholesome, yeah.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_01: So um, anyone that's been in my house, in my bathroom, I have a framed picture of some nuns smoking, and it's one of my favourite things I own.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: Oh dear.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: So that's relevant.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um, what am I loving?
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: Things that are feeding our delusion, right?
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: So this week, and Rich is gonna hate this.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: Mercury's in the microwave.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, you did see.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_01: Mercury retrograde, yeah.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and everything's fucking going wrong, and I am blaming the planets for it.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: I am.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: What's it you're gonna hate it because it's too woo-woo.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: Why do you think I'm gonna hate that?
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_03: You're judging.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_03: Because it's too middle-aged.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_03: I'm an Aquarius.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: That's why you're an Aquarius, Charlie's a Gemini, we're all air signs.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: What does what does yours mean?
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: I googled this the other day for me.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, what does Aquarius mean?
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: As an Aquarius, well, I'm an air sign, but I'm hard to read.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know what that means.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it just depends on your where your planets are and where you're born and whatever.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: Right, okay.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm hard to read, can come off as cold and standoffish if I don't like people.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like loads of different attributes.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_02: Interesting.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I'm an extrovert but also an introvert, which is true.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but yeah, you should look up Gemini.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_01: No, I know Gemini.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: Similar traits to me as well.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I googled it the other day.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_02: So the whole thing with Gemini is that you're quite balanced, so you're often quite good at seeing both sides of the situation.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, which voice of reason it makes sense.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but also you can run quite hot.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_02: Shocking.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_02: I can flip a switch.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, it's nice, but it's a match.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, Christ.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_02: I can too, to be fair though.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I had a proper Google of it the other day and I was like, it's interesting.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: I love it.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, Mercury's in the microwave.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm gonna say this because I had a fucking power cut last night out of the blue.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm blaming the planets for that.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I did say to these two in the group chat, I didn't want to go to bed because I didn't want a raw dog bed with no Wi-Fi.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: I did want something on my phone.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: I did not want to be alone with my thoughts.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: Did you read a book?
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: No, because I looked like fucking Ebenezer Scrooge with a little candle up the stairs on your little tree.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: No, I was not up for that.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't want to raw dog it.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so that is feeding my delusion, and I kind of am enjoying that because I can just blame it on Mercury and the microwave.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: Other than that, I've got I've got a couple of fuck-offs.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_02: Should I?
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_02: I've got one more goody.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: You tell me you're goodie.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_02: Before we go on to the baddies.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: Grumpy.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I went and saw our girl Poppy at Poe Skincare the other day.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, she's delightful.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_02: So if anybody's local to the quotes, I would 100% recommend.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I am not the best girl for having a skincare routine.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_02: Like I am very much like a, you know, some people do like a 12-stage process.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: Exhibit A, Your Honor.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_01: Why do you think I look 26 at 32?
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_02: I am exhibit B in that I will do the bare minimum.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm blessed that I have clear skin.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_02: But I am literally a I I cleanse.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_02: And then I cleanse.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_02: I moisturize.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_02: I vitamin C, because I'm told I have some dry patches, and I SPF.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_02: I always SPF.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_02: Good.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_02: Um, anyway, so we're into Poppy.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_02: She's like, what are you concerned about?
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, honestly, one of my biggest fears is aging.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm not scared to say that.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_02: And I know it sounds really shallow.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_02: Doesn't sound shallow, it just makes me laugh.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_02: I want to look like Chris Jenner when she's like She's had two facelifts though.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and she looks great.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: She's had two facelifts, 100k at time.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I'm willing to commit to that.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_02: Anyway, but even like all of the Kardashians, hate on them as much as you want.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_02: I love them, no shame.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_02: They're like my guilty pleasure that I'm not guilty about.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_02: But they all look unreal.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_02: Anyway, so I was chatting to Poppy and I was like, She's like, what are you worried about?
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, Well, I have Botox.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_02: And a side note, anybody who hates on people with Botox, like who Oh, get in the bin, fuck off.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_02: People who think they're holier than thou because they don't have Botox.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_02: You haven't had any muscle paralysis in your forehead.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_02: You can see, I can tell.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_02: How are those lines on your forehead?
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_02: But also, everyone, like, do you?
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_02: If you like it, great, I love it.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_02: If you don't, that's fine, but I don't want to hear your opinion.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_02: No, I agree.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_02: Um but I said to her, I was like, obviously, have the bobo, so that kind of freezes my forehead.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know, lines don't really develop, but I'm starting to get them under my eyes.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_02: Anyway, so we had some micro-needling.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_02: And I started without the cream.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_02: She was like, it feels a bit hot and scratchy.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_02: So I said, okay, let's try it without it.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_02: And she started going, and you know when something's going along your face, you you lean away from something?
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_02: I was leaning away and she was like, Are you alright there, Charlie?
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, I think we need to try the cream.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: You are such a pussy.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know how many times I've had micro needling and I do do it without the cream?
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so brave.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_01: So brave.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_01: I have my little stress ball.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: Leanne's talking to me.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_01: The only time I get stressed is when she does around the eyes and it makes me want to sneeze.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: I got a little and it makes me literally go, motherfucker.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_02: I've got quite sensitive skin though, as well, which actually I forgot.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_02: Should at the start should I watch your skin like?
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, normal, drying patches.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, forgot key thing.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_02: It's quite sensitive as well.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, you went red.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_02: But everyone goes red.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but actually it calmed down really quickly.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_02: But she was great, really knowledgeable.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_02: Um, someone at my yard is also a skin lady, and she said she had a look at her page.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_02: She's been doing it for years, and she was like, I love the content she's putting out, she's really great.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_02: It's really accurate, um, really like she has a lot of knowledge to share.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_02: And what was really nice is she didn't, you know, sometimes you go to some people and they really want to sell you like a specific brand or a specific product.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_02: She was like, I'll send you some options so you can have a look at whatever price range you feel comfortable in.
• 7:40
  unknown: Yeah.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_02: And she was great.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_02: So just anybody who's locals with Cotswolds, book in.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_02: She's great.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, she's based in Stonesfield.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, near Whitney.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: Near, yeah, near well, on the way to Charlbury.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and really randomly, when I she she found us through Cotswold Marketplace.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: Shout out Cotswold Marketplace.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: Go on.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and basically started following us, and we had a chin wag.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: And then I realized while I was having coffee with her, I went to university with her.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_02: And you said what was mad is that so you had that link with her.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_02: And you also had she also worked at the safari place that I went to like a couple of months ago.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_02: Wait a little.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_02: Which is mental.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_02: Shout out, wait a little.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_02: Best safari ever.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_02: We're shouting out everyone tonight.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_02: Free safaris.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_02: Um, yeah, it's like it's such a small world.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, that's a cot towards it.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_02: It's really weird.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_02: Anyway, should we move on to fuck offs of the week?
• 8:29
  unknown: Yeah.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_02: What do you got for me?
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_02: I'm ready.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know my biggest one?
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, go on over-explaining yourself.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: You know, with people.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_01: So if you don't want to do something, you don't want to go somewhere, whatever, feeling like you have to over-explain.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: Because people go, Oh, you sure?
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it'd be really nice if you came.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_01: This, that, and the further thing, it really fucks me off, boils my blood.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: If I've said no, no is a full sentence.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: Eat shit, leave me alone.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_02: There's normally a reason why someone said no.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_02: So just leave them be.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_02: And I think we're all too bad for like saying yes to everything, like, yes, men.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_02: I know.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_02: So no, I feel that.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no is a full sentence.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: But unfortunately, the old people pleaser in me is like, oh no.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: And then I'm like, no.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: So I have to do it.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: I have to reinforce it, I have to reinforce it.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so I've got two for you.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_02: The first one we're gonna call Bear Grills Gate.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_02: The reason being I went to a party a few weeks ago, and the person whose party it was is friends with the great man, Bear Grills.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_02: So someone mentions that he said, everybody's in fancy dress, it's 80s themed.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_02: And someone said, Oh, have you seen Bear Grills?
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, No, please hold, let me go on a bear hunt.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_02: So off I go.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god, that is such a bad line.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_02: I love a dad joke.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_02: So I go off on a scout, I don't see him.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_02: He's dressed as a tennis player.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_02: So I go I didn't see him.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_02: So I come back to the dance floor, yeah, and then a friend of mine who's quite hammered, went, Oh, I know where he is, let me show you.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_02: So I thought she'd just do a walk past, which would be a really normal thing to do, and then go, Did you see him?
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_02: No, no, no.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_02: What she does is she we walk past, and then she goes, deadpan in front of him and me, goes, There he is, and physically points at him, and I was like, Oh, ground, swallow me up immediately.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_02: So, of course, then he looks really confused, but he probably gets it all the time as well.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and I was like, I'm really sorry.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_02: And I'd had a few pims, but I was like sobering up at this point.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_02: Shocking.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, I was like, I'm I'm really sorry.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, I was told you were here, and someone mentioned that they'd seen you, and I was like, that was really awkward, but I did say, and he was so polite, he was really nice.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_02: He's like, I hope you're having a lovely evening.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, I'm having a great time.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, Hey Bear, I'm gonna I co-host a podcast, we'll give you a shout out for being a nice man.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_02: But I honestly wanted to die.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_02: I wanted to die, it was awful.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_02: That's embarrassing.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_02: Obviously, I immediately wrote it down, and here we are.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_02: And there's so many people I've been like, how do you how you know how like do you have a nice time?
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, Yeah, I wanted the ground to swallow me up.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so yeah, so there's number one, and then the second one is you know how you've referenced before that people have looked you up on LinkedIn.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: I hate this thing, yes.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_02: So I, with my job, can go into stealth mode, so people can't see that I've looked at them.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, other people, we see you.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_02: If you're looking at my I fucking see it all.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_02: But if you're looking at me, I can see you.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I know.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_02: And if you've not spoken to me for a number of years because you just ghosted me, don't come and look at my LinkedIn.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_01: Or if you do, at least have the decency to drop me a message and go, hey, how are you?
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: We have spoken about this, and it is something that really just it does fuck me off.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_01: Because if you're doing it and you really don't care, fine.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_01: But what are you trying to find out?
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_01: On a professional platform as well.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: Like, look at my Instagram.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_02: I think it's really cowardly.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_02: It's just weird.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_02: I thought it was strange.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, if you want to see what I'm up to, I post more on my Instagram and do my LinkedIn.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_02: It just was really strange.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_02: Anyway, so there's my fuck off of the week.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, fucking assholes.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_01: Right, so I wrote down a few things.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_01: Hang up, she's getting undressed.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um I wrote down a few things that I wanted to discuss because obviously body count was such a big segment last week.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_01: There are a couple of others.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_01: So we have a girls' chat called Wet T-shirt.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_01: Do you remember how it started?
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_01: Should we share?
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_01: I thought we could share.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_01: Do you want to share how much?
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_01: No, you can share.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: It's your birth child.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: It is.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, so we have a girl's chat called Wet T-Shirt, where essentially we talk about all things, boys andor nudes, and can share nudes into the chat for approval from our female friends prior to sending them to anybody.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_02: On a once view.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_02: Adult Snapchat is WhatsApp.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_01: It's a safe place.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_01: No one's judging.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um anyway, it's called wet t-shirt because many moons ago I don't know where it the idea came.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know where the idea came from, but I came up with a nude that was a wet t-shirt.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_01: So I got in the shower in a wet t-shirt.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_01: And only a lucky few have received.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_01: And now it's called wet t-shirt.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: And everyone basically rallied into that group, didn't they?
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_01: To try the wet t-shirt nude.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_01: And we were giving feedback on whether your shirt's wet enough, whether you should wet your hair, whether you should get soapy.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_02: I really hope my dad's without Imperial Leather.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_02: I really hope my dad's not listening to it.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_01: Papa Claire.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_02: Can this one not go on Instagram?
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_02: Because he will see that.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_02: No, we won't.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but anyway, I wanted to talk about it because I think girls do it a lot and it's something that boys don't know about.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_02: And I think it's nice.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and I don't know that I mean Rich, it'd be great to have your input here.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_02: Do guys talk about what nudes they're sending girls?
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_03: This is a good girls thing.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_03: We don't even share, like, if we receive nudes, we don't we don't share them, we don't share them, so we're not we're definitely not doing that.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_01: I think you're fucking lying.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_01: I think you're boys do share female nudes with one another.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_01: Oh no, no, tell her.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_01: Revenge part is a thing.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_03: I probably don't.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but that that's that's dedication, that is.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_01: But boys don't share a picture of their Willy with each other or no.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_01: To be fair, you guys have got fuck all to do.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what are you gonna do?
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: Send someone a picture of you in your boxes and go, are these boxes alright, mate?
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_02: My Calvin Kleins look all right.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_02: No, they got holes in them.
• 14:18
  unknown: Ha ha!
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_02: The moths have been in.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_02: But it is quite specific to girls, actually.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and I think about it.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_02: But uh again, I think it comes back to the whole thing of like girls talk way more and speak way more about feelings and things like that.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we're way more in each other's back pockets, uh, maybe than guys.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_03: That's a sweeping statement, but I'm not gonna- And you're actually caring, you actually care about each other when we would just get shit and banter.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_02: We're like put a slightly bigger push-up bar on.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_01: I would definitely text you and say this set or this set or yeah, yeah.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_01: 100%.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_02: And for anyone wondering, the feedback on the wet t-shirt was, and a friend of mine told me this, to wet it first.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_02: So when you turn the shower on to warm it up, put the t-shirt on the bottom of the shower.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_02: Get it really wet.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_02: It is harder to put on, but it works.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but it looks better.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_03: Does it work the other way around?
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_03: Like a man in a way to show you.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_02: Try it and let us know.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_01: Send one and then we can post it on the socials.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, please.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_01: Come with some feedback.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_01: That would be great.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, this just in Rich's tits are going live.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_01: Get your nips out.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but no, it's and it's actually, I think it's a crowd pleaser, and anyone that's ever received one has genuinely still got it burned in their brain.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yours is 10 out of 10.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_02: But also, I think it's quite nice for girls to just share.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_02: Give each other inspiration, you know.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and also.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_01: You've inspired generational women.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_01: I really have.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_01: I really have.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_01: No, not one of you has got your nipple pierced yet, but I'm still waiting.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's a hard no from me.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_02: No, thank you.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_01: I can't handle pain, we've discussed that already.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, God.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I've had uh a story sent in about body count.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_01: Please continue.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_02: So, um, obviously, I spoke about how it would bother me if it was what I deemed to be particularly high.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_02: Um weapon.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so somebody sent in, they've said, Me and my partner have been together for two and a half years.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_02: Body count has never come up.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_02: Nice.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know his, he doesn't know mine.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_02: She then goes on to say, like you, Charlie, I also used to have a list, which I enjoyed.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_02: Oh I played on the phrase bucket list and called it the fuck it list.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I like that.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's good, isn't it?
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_01: I I won't, yeah, I won't undermine that.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: I like that.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: That's a good one.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_02: So, yeah, interesting that it's never, it's never once come up.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_02: But also interesting that if people are now when they start dating, if that's becoming more of a thing, I don't know what you're gaining from it.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_02: Because you're either gonna be upset or you're gonna look down on someone.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_01: I really just don't understand why it's a question of just keep it to yourself.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_02: Like talk, talk about it amongst your friends.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously, if you've got gonorrhea or herpes or something, you probably should tell someone.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: But I think body count doesn't need to come into it.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, agreed.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so my next little question, and I do need a man's opinion on this, post-nut clarity.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's a thing, isn't it?
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_02: Can you explain what it is?
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_02: Because when we were talking about it the other day, as soon as you explained it, I was like, oh, that makes sense.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_02: But when you said the phrase, I didn't know what you meant.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_01: So it's basically when a guy has sex with a girl and it's like they get all excited and it's hyped up, hyped up, and then the minute they've had sex with her, it's like, why did I do that?
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: Or oh no, I'm unattracted, like she's she's not attracted.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_01: They've got what they want.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but they automatically have kind of you know, endorphins have gone and no, never seeing you again.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_01: Am I right?
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_03: But there's also uh there's a version of pre-nut clarity as well.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god! So educate me, yeah.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_03: So, for example, if if you're in a position where you think you really need to do something, you should probably just sort yourself out first, and then you realize and that will save you the post-nut because it's it's a bit like if you've ever had an accident in a legs go, you know, like your legs have that little wobble.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_03: You not had that.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_02: Sorry, when you hit when you say when you have an accident, like a car accident.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: If you ever had a car accident, right, I think that I push yourself, I was like context everything, Rich.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_01: Context is everything.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_03: It's a bit like ooh, shouldn't have done that.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_01: You're like the David Atter of post-nut clarity, but also pre-nut clarity.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, prenut saves prenut saves relationships.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_03: If if you were back in the days where you're young and people, if people are listening to this and they're thinking about cheating, do that first and they won't do it.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_01: Have a wank and you want to do that.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_01: But I also think it's a thing for women, and I was talking to a friend about it today because there have been so many times where I'm like, I like the chase, I like a challenge, and then the minute I've slept with someone, I'm like, fuck off.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_01: So the come down of it.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, literally.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't want to talk to it, and I don't want to speak to them again.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, that was that was a wild ride, goodbye to you.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I said to you, didn't I?
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_02: I was listening to Joanne McNally the other day, and she was talking about how she was newly single and went out with this guy, and then the next morning she was like, It was like the chase was over.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_02: I asked him to call me an Uber.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_02: Oh no, she asked him to drive her home, and he was like, No, no, and she said it was literally like the post-night clarity, like he'd got what he wanted and then was like disengaged altogether, which I find wild.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_01: Can I just say I don't understand that because Joanne McNally, what a fucking woman.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'd love to breathe the same air as her.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, she's hilarious, yeah.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_01: She is honest to God, twats.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_01: Um and then this kind of is a fuck off of the week, but not can we talk about it divides a nation.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_01: People having live locations on for their friends and then commenting on where they are and who they're with.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_01: Fuck off.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_01: It's weird.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_02: I have a very small circle, like three people.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_02: I hate it.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_02: About three people who can see my location, but more often than not, I can see other people, but they can't see me.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want people to know where I am.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want to hide.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_02: But yeah, it's the way where are you?
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_02: What are you doing?
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_02: But like my friend Kate lives in New York, and I enjoy.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_02: If I'm looking, because on the same app I have like all my other devices, so I'm like, oh, your iPad is in the house where you left it, but I can then see Kate's X number of thousand miles away in New York, and that's like, oh, there she is.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_02: Honestly.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_02: But when people get stalky about it, I find weird.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_02: Like if someone's dating and they're like, actually, that's the only time it is helpful.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_02: So you know when we referenced um Maggie and Fime and Kyle, this is going back quite a few episodes now.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_02: When when friends are on dates, please turn on your location.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, 100%.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_02: Like women, when I say friends, I mean women.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_02: Women share your location, it's a safety thing.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_02: Um, when Maggie was on her first date with Fime and Kyle, me and Holly were obviously sidebarring outside of the group chat, being like, she's on the move.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_02: And then we're like, oh my god, she's gone back to his house.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_02: And we were so excited.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_02: And obviously, she couldn't tell us anything.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_02: And then the next morning we were like, tell us everything.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_02: But it was like an excited, it wasn't like where are you?
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_02: What are you doing?
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_02: Why are you here when you said you were here?
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_02: Like, no, this was like a exciting, but also for her safety.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: No, I hate the creepy, sneaky, like I don't know.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_01: You just like doing your own thing.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_01: Where are you?
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_01: I've I wouldn't say I'm a private person because I tell people stuff that I want to tell them, but I don't want everyone knowing my fucking business.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_01: You're a leopard.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_01: You're a solitary lady.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_02: You're coming together to mate, otherwise, you're on your own.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_01: That's you know, I couldn't put it better myself.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I just yeah, why does everyone need this obsess like obsessive need to know where everyone is?
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: And you see your moon.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_01: To be fair to her, like she has all her friends from uni on Snapchat, RageBait.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_01: And she goes, Where are my minions?
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_01: And she likes to see all that, doesn't it?
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_01: But that Terrifies the living shit out of me.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it gives you the option now on Instagram.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_02: I was looking to say, you can um I have my location turned off.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_02: But it said it's like you can share.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_02: So when you share a story, people can see where you are.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, exactly.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_02: It's fucking weird.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_02: It's so weird.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I don't Dangaroose, that is.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_01: What?
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_01: Dangerous.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_01: Oh.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, who's Dan?
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_01: Who is Dan?
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I have a question for you.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_02: Please tell me.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_02: I'd like to know.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_02: And I thought she was the answer was here.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_02: I'd like to know what the weirdest gift is you've ever been given.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_01: So you would think it's Lola.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_01: So people that can see is my stripper mouse that Charlie got me.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um obviously she's called Lola because she has feathers in her hair.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_01: But no, the weirdest.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: No, so I've got two.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_01: One would be the penis and ball wine carafe that I got from a male friend.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_01: Which I then witnessed a friend's mum deep throat at a Christmas party and drink all the wine.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_01: That's scarring.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_01: And someone said, drain the balls.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_02: Was your friend there at the same time?
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_02: Oh god.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's mortifying.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_02: I'd be traumatised by that.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_01: And then another male friend of mine came back from Australia and brought me a kangaroo scrotum bottle opener.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I quote, he said, because I know you like wine and I know you like dead things.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_02: We love dead things.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_02: Hence Lola.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_02: Hence Lola.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_02: And who's front and centre?
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_02: Right, front and centre.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_02: This is going to be a visual on Instagram.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_02: I also have a taxidermed mouse.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_02: She has, I'm going to describe it because this is an audio medium primarily.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_02: She has a teeny tiny cowboy hat, a teeny tiny gun.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_02: She has a barrel which has a Thatcher's cider in it.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_02: She also has a pack of Uno cards.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_02: Because Charlie is obsessed with Uno.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_02: You're coming to the pub, we're playing Uno.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_02: I haven't actually played for ages.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yay.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_02: Anyway, we named her Beth Dutton.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_02: We did.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_02: Because she's a cowgirl.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_02: But I have another weird gift.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_02: Tell me.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_02: So bless my grandmother.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_02: May she rest in peace, Agnes.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_02: On her deathbed, I went to go and visit her.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_02: And when I walked into her room, she'd got rid of most of her things.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_02: She's a very organised lady.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_02: Like she knew the end was coming, so she like lit out all of her stuff.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_02: Anyway, on the side in her room, she had.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_02: Please hold.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_02: This very teeny tiny.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_02: It's basically if you think like um weird.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_02: Right, remember Beanie Babies?
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_02: I know they were a thing.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_02: Those things weren't there.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_02: So it basically looks like a beanie baby, but it's an actual baby.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_02: So again, we'll put this on Instagram.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_02: But it it is literally a baby in like an all-in-one bear suit, and the baby's asleep.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_02: And my thing my words were when I walked in the room, I went, Good God, what is that?
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_02: And she was like, and she was Scottish, but she had a like a very soft accent.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_02: She lived down here for a long time.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_02: She's like, That's my baby, dear.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, she's not Mrs.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_02: Dalphire at this point, right?
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_02: It's literally what she sounded like.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_02: Help is on the way dear.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, Nanny, what the fuck is that?
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_02: And she was like, You must take it, you must take it.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, Oh Christ, you're on your deathbed.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_02: I can't say no to you.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_02: And she lived next to a convent, up the nuns.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_02: So she didn't fans from the nuns.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_02: Don't say up the nuns.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_02: Anyway, so I was like, I can't, I can't decline.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_02: She's on her deathbed.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_02: This is her dying wish, and she wants me to have this baby.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_02: So it lives at home.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_02: I had to find it.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_02: It was sat in the cupboard, but I can't.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_02: There is no part of me that can get rid of it.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_02: And at one point, Brynn, my dog, was really interested in it.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, do not eat the baby.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_02: This is literally my dead grandma's dying wish was for me to have this.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, I think this is probably up there with the weirdest gift I've ever received.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_02: But I'd love to know if anyone's got a weird gift.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe we should put this out as a question on Instagram, but also send it into your form.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_02: If you've ever been given a weird gift, please let us know.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_02: Photos would be great as well.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_01: It's kind of on par with cabbage patch kids.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_01: Remember when that was a thing?
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_01: It's very soft.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_01: Do you want to touch it?
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_01: My little sleeping baby.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_01: I do not want to touch your baby, no.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna put him up there.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_02: Um, lies on its face.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_02: Look at it.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_01: Moving swiftly on.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_01: Past furry babies.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, do you want to continue, my lady?
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_02: So we've had a dating story sent in.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_02: Um okay, so just as a reminder, we now have, thanks to Rich, the anonymous form.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_02: So the only information we're gonna know about you is your gender.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_02: And I think we're putting on age as well, just so we can hone in a bit because it's interesting to know.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_02: Otherwise, it's fascinating.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_02: It's completely anonymous.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_02: We don't see an email address.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_02: You can upload a voice note.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I think can you upload a photo as well, Rich?
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, we can.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, okay, yeah, let's add that in.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_03: Just please no nudes.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_02: That's the only thing we will say.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_02: To be fair, our main audience is female, but no, send nudes, that's bad.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_02: Any god, send mine in.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_02: Any men who are listening, please no nudes.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but you can, yeah, just as a reminder, the in the form is completely anonymous.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_02: You can still continue to message us on Instagram.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_02: You can still email us, f of fridays at outlook.com, and you still can WhatsApp us if you know us.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_02: Um, okay, so the title of this is I went on a date, but I came home with someone else's number.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_01: I like this already.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_02: I'm invested.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so I went on a date.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_02: He was a nice enough guy, but a bit meh.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_02: I decided I'd give him another chance and go on a second date with him.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_02: But on my way home, I saw two good-looking guys walking down the street.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_02: We stopped at the pavement junction together at a red man.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_02: We smiled.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_02: We got to the next set of lights.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_02: He turned back and smiled again.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_02: And I thought, fuck it.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_02: So I asked for his number.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I love that.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's good, isn't it?
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_02: We chatted for a good 10 minutes.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_02: We went on a date the next night.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_02: So have this.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_02: She took him home, go on, but he was a bad shag.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_02: So she aborted So she aborted mission.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_02: Too good to be true.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_02: I know.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_01: But how great is that?
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_01: I like that.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_01: So can I read you?
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_01: Because we do have one or two submitted to the forum.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, it's exciting.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_01: We have been submitted, and obviously, look, we have we have no idea who it is.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, this is from a lady, and it says, I would like to caveat the start of this story that I am fully aware this story is A, ridiculous, and B, a shameless name drop.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_01: Many years ago, I lived in Los Angeles.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_01: When living there, I lived with an up-and-coming actress who is the most lovely and wonderful human.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_01: We were out clubbing and bumped into her friend and her boyfriend.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_01: The next thing I know, we're heading back to her boyfriend's house for a house party with his roommate and a few others.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_01: The roommate's name being Leonardo DiCaprio.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_01: We get to house, which was insane, and I was having a complete panic attack and rushed off to the loo to cool myself down.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_01: When in the loo, I look around and there are all his awards.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_01: No Oscar back then.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_01: In the loo.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_01: So I did the most sensible thing I could think of.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_01: I did a fake acceptance speech in the mirrors with his BAFTAs, Golden Globe, and a sagaward.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_01: I created a backstory that I was the first female to play, I think that's Henry V.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not great with Roman numerals, on screen and completely embellished every award with silly anecdotes that replicated the audience of each award.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_01: And it was my finest hour.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_01: Thoughts?
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_02: I know who this is.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_02: This is where it's fun because it's not so anonymous.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_02: So No, you do, but I don't.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_02: I know who it is.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_02: So this person uses that story in the game Two Truths and a Lie, and it is so great.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_02: And all three stories that they have are so wildly outrageous like that that at first you're like, get fucked.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_02: That's not true.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, it's true.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's cool.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_01: I will keep them anonymous.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, because she's purposely gone to the you know.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_02: I might tell you afterwards.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you tell me.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_02: I'll take it offline.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_01: Off air.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_00: No won't tell me.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_02: But thank you for using the um the anonymous form.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_02: That's really fun.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_01: We've got a couple of others, but I thought I'd keep them for next.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_01: Next week.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_01: Nice.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_01: I like it.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um should move on to your poll that you put out this week.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so this is interesting.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_01: I did a poll.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_01: As so would you rather upload a nude to your Instagram stories?
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously, like by mistake, or send a nude to your parents.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_01: I what I'm more like, what the fuck?
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, what are the results?
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_01: 27% said parents.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_01: That many.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_01: Who is no?
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_01: Surely everyone would vote put them on your Instagram stories because at least you could whip it down.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_01: Like, and it's happened.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I know people where they've accidentally sent like one on their stories or they've accidentally sent one into like their family chat, you know, and then you get booted out of the family chat.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_01: It's a whole thing.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_02: I'll get booted out if you're the admin.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, what the fuck?
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, so my initial response is my mouth.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_02: Horrendous.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_02: My initial response was if I put it on Instagram by accident, can I delete it?
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_02: If so, of course that's my first choice because you you could quickly be like and delete it.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_01: Might get one viewer, but that'd be the happiest moment of their day.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_02: Whereas I would imagine being sat at Christmas lunch with your parents or at a family funeral, knowing they've seen you with your ass out.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_02: No, thank you.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_01: Horrendous.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_02: Oh god.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_01: Quality entertainment is what I say.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_02: I've done a very different poll to you this week.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_02: Go on.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I've seen it.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_02: So I had to vote.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_01: I was forced to vote.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_02: This splits a room as well.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_02: And Richard Minchester, hear your thoughts on this because I know Olivia's.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_02: If you're having a cream tea, do you put jam or cream on first?
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_03: I actually go cream.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay, you're with us.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_02: I like that.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_02: So our logic is that if you put cream on first, the jam spreads more nicely in it.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_02: It looks like that.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's the Devon way.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_01: I think the Cornish way is jam first, isn't it?
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna get rage-based, like people cross with me if I've got that wrong.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_02: But it well, either way, it really, it really really splits a room the old cream tea thing.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_02: But we went to the opera recently and we had a little cream tea without it.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_02: We did, we did.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_02: And um, thankfully we're still friends because we both do it the same way.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, can you imagine?
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_00: Fuck are you doing?
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, that was a very different poll to mine.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_01: You can tell he was bloody heads in the gutter, can't you?
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_02: Should we move on to some mix?
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so I've got two for you this week.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, go on, do you want to kick us off?
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_01: You know when men are going to get their haircut, yeah.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_01: And the barber has to pump his chair up.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_01: Dosh, dosh, dosh.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_02: Has that ever happened to you though, when you're at the hairdressers?
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_01: No, Katie has to push mine down because I'm too tall for her.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_00: I was blessed.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's happened to me.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you have to get pumped up, I don't.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and the other one was who the fuck is not tearing the toilet paper at the dotted line?
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_01: Absolute animals.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_02: Well, yeah, what else are they doing?
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_02: Whipping it halfway.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, fuck off.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, no, no, no.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_01: And that can go for men or women to be fair.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so the one I had that a friend sent me was my manager has been learning the guitar so that he can serenade his girlfriend.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_01: You know how I feel about this.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_01: I said, famously said, I would rather.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna misquote yourself here.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_01: I am gonna misquote myself.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_01: I said actually no, because I wanted to do it, I didn't want that, but I said I'd rather have a grown man serenade me instead of having a period.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, being serenaded is awful.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_02: I got serenaded last year.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_01: I think I taught myself.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_02: Happened to me when I was like 18 or 19.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_01: Fill the bath, get an extension lead, plug the toaster in, I'm out.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_01: Ways so toaster.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_01: Fucking serenade me.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_02: It's what's really awkward about it is unless you're dating Ed Sharan, as Elton John calls him, doesn't call him Sheeran, he calls him Sharan.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_02: That's a nick.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_02: Unless you're dating Ed Sharan, it's really awkward because where do you look?
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_02: Where do you look?
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_02: They're just stood in front of you singing at you.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_02: It's horrendous.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think I could do it if it was Ed Sheeran.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_01: Neil Diamond?
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, some boy.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_02: What a lad.
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_02: If you're a gig, unless you're front row, the people that are performing are looking elsewhere.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_02: And this is kind of thing we had at the opera the other day.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_02: I made eye contact with people a few times, I felt so uncomfortable.
• 34:39
  unknown: Oh yeah.
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_02: I really didn't like it.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_02: But if you're seeing someone in like a big venue, like me seeing pitbull very soon, then it's fine because then they're looking out.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_02: Whereas if someone's serenading you, they're looking directly at you.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_02: You don't know where to look.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_02: Awful.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_02: Stop serenading people.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_02: So moving swiftly on.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_02: Tell me.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_02: It's been hot recently.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_02: It's been really hot recently.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_02: So I have got for you, following on from uh Henry Vightham Hinge, I have some Tudor-inspired phrases for UK Heatwaves.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_02: I'm ready.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_02: I cannot even wear a single layer of cloth, for it clings to me like a tax collector to a coin.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_02: I've only got a few.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_02: So this isn't your random thoughts.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not built for this level of sun.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_02: I was forged for drizzle and disappointment, as is the custom of this realm.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, that's me.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_00: You're a drizzly girl.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_02: I got one more for you, and then we'll we'll leave it there at the Tudors.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_02: I have opened every window in my dwelling and still find myself in the furnace of despair.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_01: At the Tudors.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_01: Last night when I was absolutely crashing out about this power cut, I was stood by my back door because I didn't want to be outside anymore.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_01: It's the only place I get signal.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I was voice noting Luce.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I literally voice noted her and I was like, if you want to get into your metal chariot and knock on the door of number 33, I yearn for merriment.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_01: I yearn for merriment.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_01: And she was just like, what the fuck's wrong with you?
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_01: Just go to bed.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, no, I will not.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_01: I will not give in.
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_01: Bring me some mead.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um yeah, I I quite like that.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_01: Metal chariot.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_01: Well done.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_01: Proud of you.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_01: So this week, it is another form of rage bait for men, but it's another rendition of describe your ex as a store, product, shop, whatever you want to do.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_01: One of our friends will like this because she does Duolingo.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_01: Duolingo because I never learned my lesson.
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_02: I like it.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_01: Hello Kitty, because he said hello to every kitty.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_01: Oh.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_01: Ikea, because you always have to finish by yourself.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_01: Shut him off.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_01: Shut him off.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_01: Addidas because he did three lines a day.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_01: Super dry because he made me super dry.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_01: The bike shot because everyone's had a ride.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_01: Hundred plus that.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_01: Guess because I was always guessing who he was with.
• 37:31
  SPEAKER_01: Teamw, because he wasn't as advertised.
• 37:34
  unknown: Oh, nice.
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_01: And the last, last, last one, which I haven't written down here, was Pepsi because he had a problem with Coke.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_02: Nice, I like that.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_02: Feel free to use.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I enjoyed it.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_02: I love those.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_02: I love.
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_02: I enjoy.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_02: I enjoy.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so I've got some I got some this or that's for you.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_02: Are you ready?
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_02: Please hold.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_02: Go.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_02: Partner who earned significantly more than you or significantly less.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_02: Significantly less.
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_02: Be remembered for something you did or something you said.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_00: She think it, she's thinking, she think it.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_01: Something I said, because I've got a big mouth.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, big little mouth.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_02: Work four days a week forever or retire in retire ten years earlier.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_02: Ten years earlier.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_02: Have the confidence you'll feel ten years from now, or the energy you had at 15.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_02: Confidence?
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_02: Accidentally wave back at someone who wasn't waving at you.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_02: Or watch someone do it in slow motion.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_01: Accidentally wave.
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_01: I do it all the fucking time.
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_02: Like the bear girls moment.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_02: You're like, ah, swallow me up.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_02: So destroying.
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_02: Sneeze directly onto a stranger or watch someone sneeze directly onto your food.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_02: Oh sneeze on a stranger.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but you do.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_02: Fuck you.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_02: You're never going to see them again.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_02: Apologize, be gone.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_02: Be permanently five minutes late to always show up 20 minutes early.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_02: I'm a 20 minutes early girl.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I'm really trying to be.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_02: Really trying to be.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_02: I'd rather sit in the car and wait.
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_02: My New Year's resolution was to be on time for stuff.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_02: So in my head, I tell myself I've got to be there 10 minutes.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, you'd be late for your own funeral.
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I know.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_02: A lot of the time work gets in the way.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_02: That's happened today.
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_02: I'm sorry.
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_02: Anyway, over to you.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_01: Get a letter from your future self or send one to your past self.
• 39:23
  SPEAKER_01: Send one to my past self.
• 39:24
  unknown: Cute.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_02: Let her know that everything's going to be alright.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_02: Work out as it's meant to.
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_01: Always have slightly greasy hair or permanently chapped lips.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, greasy hair.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_01: Go viral for something embarrassing or never appear on the internet at all.
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, go viral.
• 39:42
  SPEAKER_01: Something embarrassing.
• 39:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because I think there's there's no such thing as bad PR.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_01: Peel sunburnt skin that isn't yours.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_01: Or pop a spot on a stranger's behalf.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_01: Pop a spot.
• 39:53
  SPEAKER_02: They're both horrible.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I probably got popping a spot's satisfying, isn't it?
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_02: I'll get trolled for that, I don't care.
• 39:59
  SPEAKER_01: Own every book ever written, or have read every book ever written.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_01: Have read every book, because then you'd be really smart.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_01: Fountain of knowledge.
• 40:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_01: Live somewhere with perfect weather but nothing to do.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_01: Or miserable weather, but an incredible social scene.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_02: This might surprise people.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna go miserable weather.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_02: Because aren't there somewhere in Europe, I would say like Sweden or Norway, and they're like the happiest people.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_02: Even though they have very limited daylight hours at certain times of the year, they are meant to be the happiest people.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_02: I hate the rain, I love the sun, but I also like social interaction.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_01: And last but not least, go on.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_01: First relationship that breaks your heart, or never fall that hard, but never get hurt.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_02: Break my heart.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_02: What'd you say?
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_02: I only gonna break, break your, break, break your heart.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, tire cruise me.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_02: Only because I feel like if you've had your heart broken, you then know what good looks like.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_02: And what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_02: Go on, Kelly Clarkson.
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_02: Hmm.
• 41:08
  SPEAKER_02: I have a mixed view on that.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_02: Being in love is like one of the most magical things, and I think it's really sad if people like some people don't get there, and that's really sad.
• 41:17
  SPEAKER_02: So I would never want to take that away from someone.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_02: I'm sure you can insert some quote about being loved here, but you know, yeah.
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, okay.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_01: What are your thoughts on it?
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um I don't know because when you're young, you obviously have a different idea, and I don't necessarily think we're in love.
• 41:38
  SPEAKER_01: I think we think we're in love, but maybe we're in lust a bit more and a bit obsessive with the person, like when you're in your young teens, that's what I remember.
• 41:44
  unknown: Yeah.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I would say there's only been well, only is two people I've ever felt absolutely head over heels for.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_01: Um but I feel like you don't love the same way you do after your first outbreak ever again.
• 42:02
  SPEAKER_02: I think you definitely enter it into it with more caution.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_02: I'm way more protective of myself.
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, I don't trust anyone.
• 42:10
  SPEAKER_00: Fuck.
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_00: Takes me ages.
• 42:12
  SPEAKER_00: Cream egg over there.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it takes me fucking ages.
• 42:15
  SPEAKER_00: Cream egg, cream egg, cream egg, product placement, cream egg.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_01: Easter is coming.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I've got a bit of a well, you actually, I don't think it's hideous.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_01: I was gonna say a hideous random thought.
• 42:29
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think it is hideous.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_02: Trigger warning, it is hideous because we had this conversation on the weekend.
• 42:33
  SPEAKER_01: Trigger warning, trigger warning, trigger warning.
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_01: I have put this out into the ether, and everyone agrees with me.
• 42:41
  SPEAKER_01: Really?
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_01: Question.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_01: Would you let your boyfriend take your tampon out?
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_01: And let me just put some background behind this.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, please do.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_01: It's not just a oi, I can't be asked.
• 42:55
  SPEAKER_01: It's uh, you know, you're not being greeted beaver first.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_01: What I'm saying is you're paralytic drunk, you're finishing a night out, you're try you're too drunk to do your skincare, you take your contacts out, take your tampon out.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_01: I'm saying hell to the S.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_01: And do you know why I'm saying hell to the S?
• 43:14
  SPEAKER_01: Because if you were in that situation and it was me and no one else could do it, and something happened, I'd do it for you.
• 43:21
  SPEAKER_02: I'd do it for you as well.
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_02: But the difference is you and I both have periods.
• 43:25
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know that man ever needs to see that.
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_02: Depending on your flow, I'm a heavy girl.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_02: I got a wide set of january and a heavy flow.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_02: Me gus quote, it's not legit.
• 43:36
  SPEAKER_02: But I I think, girl to girl, I would I would do that for you.
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_02: And I would let you do that to me.
• 43:43
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna say something controversial here.
• 43:44
  SPEAKER_02: Go on.
• 43:45
  SPEAKER_02: A real man wouldn't give a fuck.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_02: No, I don't think they would.
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_02: I just think like, would they really know what they're doing?
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_02: I mean you just pull the string, don't you?
• 43:51
  SPEAKER_02: But it's like pulling a cord.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_02: Woo-hoo! Yeah, but it's not like opening a bottle of champagne, is it?
• 43:54
  SPEAKER_02: It's not like fucking I'd I'd have to be really off my tree, like passed out, for that to be required.
• 44:01
  SPEAKER_02: At which point I would question, would a man know to do that?
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm taking toxic shock syndrome.
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_02: I think you're an idiot.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I think there's probably someone out there going, You don't know what I can do to you.
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I know.
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_01: It's no.
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'd and I'd do it for my girlfriends, and I would let a boyfriend do it.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely, I would.
• 44:18
  SPEAKER_02: Look, if I broke both my arms, I had no other choice.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_02: I would ask.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_02: Your boyfriend's not doing it, you're gonna ask me.
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_02: Rich, what do you think out of interest?
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_02: If a girl asked you, what would you do?
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I'd do it.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_02: Would you?
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't surprise me that you said that.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_01: You're a nice thing.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_03: No, you just don't care.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_03: No, like men like to fix problems.
• 44:37
  SPEAKER_03: That's a problem, we fix it.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I don't really want to see that though.
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_03: Also do plumbing, a little bit of electrical.
• 44:42
  SPEAKER_01: That is plumbing.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_01: You're foul.
• 44:45
  SPEAKER_01: Fuck's sake.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so yeah, that's my it might divide and cause a few.
• 44:51
  SPEAKER_02: When you asked me, I you need to keep some of these back so people get my real reaction, because what I've given you now is a more zenned-out version of it.
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_02: But I was shocked and horrified.
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe I just that stuff doesn't horrify me.
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe I'm a prude.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think you're a prude at all.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_02: That stuff just doesn't horrify me.
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I didn't enjoy it.
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_02: But I just I like you spoke about not too long ago, I have horrendous period pains, and they are quite heavy and it's not great.
• 45:15
  SPEAKER_02: So I just don't know that I'd want anyone kicking around down there.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_02: Fair.
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_02: Um, on a happy note, I've switching this around.
• 45:23
  SPEAKER_02: Turn that car around.
• 45:25
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I heard a really nice quote the other day, and I don't know if you clocked, it was when we were at the opera, and I wrote it down.
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_02: And Mozart apparently famously said, I thought it was quite jolly, let's drink, forget, and enjoy ourselves.
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I enjoy that.
• 45:38
  SPEAKER_02: I thought more people need to do that.
• 45:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 45:40
  SPEAKER_02: Have a holly jolly.
• 45:41
  SPEAKER_02: I do that every night.
• 45:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 45:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 45:46
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, well, anyway, we're gonna fuck off for a week now.
• 45:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_01: So until next time, stay toxic.