Latest / Trudge Report / Ep. 128 - We Don't Recover Alone: Why Mentorship is Vital to Personal Recovery.

Transcript

Ep. 128 - We Don't Recover Alone: Why Mentorship is Vital to Personal Recovery. · Trudge Report

0:08
SPEAKER_01: Ladies and gentlemen, good evening and welcome to another episode of Trudge Report.
0:12
SPEAKER_01: This podcast is brought to you by High Noon Tequila Seltzers.
0:17
SPEAKER_01: No, I'm just kidding.
0:18
SPEAKER_01: That was for you, Corey.
0:19
SPEAKER_01: Um I don't care.
0:22
SPEAKER_01: Because we're a recovery-based podcast.
0:24
SPEAKER_01: This be weird, you know.
0:25
SPEAKER_01: Um we are a recovery-based podcast.
0:30
SPEAKER_01: My name is Sean, and I am your host, joined by my good friends and fellow Trudgers.
0:34
SPEAKER_01: Please remember to listen on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you may get your podcasts.
0:39
SPEAKER_01: Videos will be posted each week so you can watch our lovely faces on YouTube and Facebook.
0:44
SPEAKER_01: But as always, please be sure to download on your listening platforms.
0:48
SPEAKER_01: Remember to like and subscribe on all social media outlets with the handle at Trudge Report Pod.
0:54
SPEAKER_01: This podcast is truly brought to you by Stellamix Podcast Management.
0:58
SPEAKER_01: Gentlemen, good evening.
0:59
SPEAKER_01: Uh, the Trudge Trio, as everyone is dubbing us.
1:03
SPEAKER_01: That's what everyone calls us.
1:04
SPEAKER_01: Uh many people have said.
1:07
SPEAKER_01: Many people have said, yeah.
1:08
SPEAKER_01: Many people have said.
1:10
SPEAKER_01: Greatest podcast ever.
1:11
SPEAKER_01: Do it for me, Greg.
1:12
SPEAKER_01: Greatest podcast ever.
1:13
SPEAKER_00: It's the best you'll ever hear.
1:14
SPEAKER_00: It's the best thing that'll grace your eardrums.
1:18
SPEAKER_01: And with that, Mr.
1:19
SPEAKER_01: GA Phillips, the the great, uh, the great ginger.
1:22
SPEAKER_01: How are you, sir?
1:23
SPEAKER_00: I'm good, man.
1:24
SPEAKER_00: Good.
1:25
SPEAKER_00: Uh we uh we're we're still alive and hopefully uh don't have emphysema or lung cancer.
1:31
SPEAKER_00: Uh we got we got we got hit hard by those uh those wildfires earlier this week.
1:37
SPEAKER_00: So um dude, yeah, it was it was like totally smoked out up here.
1:41
SPEAKER_00: Air quality, uh, which I think normally hovers like in the 80s to 90s was like six six hundred and fifty, I think, uh here.
1:52
SPEAKER_00: So it was uh it was wild, man.
1:55
SPEAKER_00: So I wonder what our air quality is down here, Corey.
2:02
SPEAKER_00: Uh, but yeah, Canada was on fire, and uh this is like the whole country, yeah.
2:08
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, basically.
2:09
SPEAKER_02: Um I wish uh I wish the fires would just get rid of it because they obviously cannot have nice things.
2:15
SPEAKER_02: This happens too often.
2:17
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, dude.
2:18
SPEAKER_00: It was Corey just wiped out this entire country.
2:21
SPEAKER_00: The worst it's it's been though, for sure.
2:23
SPEAKER_00: It was it was uh it was pretty nasty.
2:26
SPEAKER_00: Um but yeah, we're we're here.
2:28
SPEAKER_00: Um had a nice chill weekend with the fam.
2:32
SPEAKER_00: Peyton goes to uh Mitch Trubisky football camp next or the next couple days, so that's kind of cool.
2:39
SPEAKER_00: A little known fact, I didn't even know, but uh apparently Mitch Trubisky is from my little city in Ohio, so nice.
2:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, he does a football camp with the kids, so that would be cool.
2:50
SPEAKER_00: I hear he's got a lot of time on his hands these days.
2:53
SPEAKER_00: Yes, indeed.
2:54
SPEAKER_01: So I don't know who that is.
2:57
SPEAKER_01: He's a backup quarterback that had a very brief run of run of uh with the Chicago Bears.
3:03
SPEAKER_01: Well, yeah, with the Bears.
3:04
SPEAKER_00: I think he played like what like four seasons with the Bears.
3:07
SPEAKER_00: They drafted him pretty high.
3:08
SPEAKER_01: He made the playoffs one year.
3:10
SPEAKER_01: Um they did pretty good, lost in the first or second round of the playoffs.
3:13
SPEAKER_00: But since then he's a backup in Pittsburgh, he was uh backup in Buffalo, and now I think he's with the Titans.
3:21
SPEAKER_00: So oh wow.
3:23
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, and then uh Lauren and Peyton are going on a trip to Texas this this upcoming week, and I don't know, I don't even know what to do with myself now.
3:30
SPEAKER_00: Marty at Greg's house.
3:32
SPEAKER_01: I'm flying up flying up.
3:36
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, very cool.
3:38
SPEAKER_01: What's up, Mr.
3:39
SPEAKER_01: Mitchner?
3:40
SPEAKER_01: How are you?
3:41
SPEAKER_01: I'm alright.
3:43
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
3:44
SPEAKER_01: I'm cool.
3:46
SPEAKER_01: So happy to hear that.
3:48
SPEAKER_02: God, yeah.
3:49
SPEAKER_02: I'm exhausted.
3:50
SPEAKER_02: I'm I'm just busy and exhausted all the time.
3:53
SPEAKER_02: Uh I don't know.
3:55
SPEAKER_02: What do I want to talk about here, Sean?
3:56
SPEAKER_02: I'm really I feel the pressure right now.
3:59
SPEAKER_02: Um I watched a a brief bit of baseball earlier today.
4:04
SPEAKER_02: I just want to be like my friends, is what it comes down to.
4:06
SPEAKER_02: I'm trying to take up golf because I can't even go to dinner with Sean anymore without five other people talking about fucking golf.
4:12
SPEAKER_02: So I'm like, okay, maybe I need to join them.
4:15
SPEAKER_02: Um I'm trying to watch baseball.
4:18
SPEAKER_02: I mean, like, I and I'm gonna suck at golf.
4:20
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna tell you that.
4:21
SPEAKER_02: Like, not not only because it's like, you know, you got like, oh, you're new.
4:26
SPEAKER_02: No, I'm just gonna I'm gonna be above average at sucking at golf.
4:30
SPEAKER_02: I promise you that much.
4:32
SPEAKER_02: So yeah.
4:34
SPEAKER_02: But other I mean, yeah, nothing God, there's nothing even worth talking about going on in my life.
4:40
SPEAKER_02: Just my busy work stuff.
4:43
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
4:43
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we got it, we got a trip coming up.
4:46
SPEAKER_00: Two weeks.
4:46
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
4:49
SPEAKER_00: Actually, it's it's it's like closer to three and a half.
4:52
SPEAKER_02: Well, if we tell the whole story, um some was it a year ago?
4:58
SPEAKER_02: Was it ten months ago or something?
5:01
SPEAKER_02: Um Carmine went and bought us all Foo Fighters tickets.
5:05
SPEAKER_02: Nice.
5:06
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
5:07
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
5:08
SPEAKER_01: Nice.
5:09
SPEAKER_01: Kinda.
5:10
SPEAKER_01: Why kind of?
5:12
SPEAKER_00: Well, he didn't he didn't like completely, but like he bought them, but we must pay him back.
5:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's the kind of part.
5:18
SPEAKER_02: And and then the rest of the fucking trip.
5:21
SPEAKER_02: Um, and things were looking much more optimistic about that time financially, but we're gonna get through it.
5:27
SPEAKER_02: We're gonna get through it.
5:28
SPEAKER_02: We're going to Philly.
5:30
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
5:31
SPEAKER_00: We're going to Philly, we're gonna well that sounds terrible.
5:34
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
5:35
SPEAKER_02: Oh wow.
5:37
SPEAKER_02: Oh, you know what is it?
5:39
SPEAKER_02: Might as well go to Canada.
5:41
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I'm just kidding.
5:43
SPEAKER_02: You want to know what's funny though?
5:44
SPEAKER_02: I'll say this Philly's better than Canada, okay?
5:48
SPEAKER_02: Well, anything America is better than Canada, but I would agree.
5:50
SPEAKER_02: Um the one funny thing is that I did get to uh scout the Airbnb.
5:59
SPEAKER_02: And um I picked a well, I I didn't solely pick it, but one of the main ones I scouted that happened to suit our needs.
6:07
SPEAKER_02: It's a Philly Fanatic themed Airbnb.
6:10
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so each each each bedroom is like a it's totally decked out.
6:16
SPEAKER_00: It looks like a child's room, like completely decked out with each one of their sports teams.
6:22
SPEAKER_01: I take it back.
6:23
SPEAKER_01: I would not rather be in Canada.
6:27
SPEAKER_02: Or you wouldn't rather be in Philly.
6:29
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, I wouldn't I'd rather not be in Philly.
6:31
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'd rather be in Canada.
6:32
SPEAKER_01: But there is a man.
6:35
SPEAKER_00: Listen, I will say this as much as I hate the little children themed bedrooms already, and I haven't even been in there.
6:42
SPEAKER_00: Not only do they have a movie theater inside this place, but there is also a stand-up arcade NFL Blitz in the kitchen.
6:52
SPEAKER_00: So that's pretty sick.
6:53
SPEAKER_01: That's pretty cool.
6:54
SPEAKER_01: I'll give you that.
6:55
SPEAKER_01: I used to love NFL Blitz, dude.
6:56
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, dude.
6:57
SPEAKER_01: I used to love that game, and I was not even a video game head, but I played that game.
7:01
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
7:02
SPEAKER_02: We weren't even sure that um Greg was going for a long time.
7:07
SPEAKER_02: That was a weird thing in the group chat.
7:09
SPEAKER_00: No, it was it wasn't at all.
7:10
SPEAKER_00: I said I was.
7:11
SPEAKER_01: I love how you just said that, like he wasn't here on this podcast.
7:15
SPEAKER_01: I'm just throwing it out there.
7:17
SPEAKER_00: When it was originally planned, I was like, Yeah, I'm in, let's do it.
7:21
SPEAKER_00: And then somehow along the way, they're like, Well, are you even still going?
7:26
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know why?
7:27
SPEAKER_00: Because I'm a man, and when I say things one time, it means that I'm going to do those things, okay?
7:33
SPEAKER_01: Even though he said that before he got engaged and started spending all this money on a wedding.
7:37
SPEAKER_01: I don't care.
7:37
SPEAKER_01: I'm still going to listen to that.
7:39
SPEAKER_02: No, literally, literally.
7:40
SPEAKER_02: It it sounded like a much better idea when we initially talked about it.
7:44
SPEAKER_02: But I will I'm I would love to see the Foo Fighters.
7:46
SPEAKER_01: That would be a great concert.
7:48
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
7:48
SPEAKER_02: No, it'll be fun.
7:49
SPEAKER_02: It's just, you know, but um I will say way better than Noah Khan.
7:54
SPEAKER_01: Just saying.
7:55
SPEAKER_01: Dude, I don't way better.
7:57
SPEAKER_02: I mean I don't know.
8:01
SPEAKER_01: They're not in the same bucket.
8:02
SPEAKER_01: Don't even do it.
8:02
SPEAKER_02: No, no, no, no.
8:03
SPEAKER_02: They're not in the same no.
8:04
SPEAKER_02: Foo Fighters is iconic.
8:06
SPEAKER_02: They're iconic.
8:06
SPEAKER_02: That's right.
8:07
SPEAKER_02: They're in they're in legend status for sure.
8:09
SPEAKER_00: And when Carmine and I went uh a few years back in New York, it was amazing.
8:14
SPEAKER_00: It was phenomenal.
8:16
SPEAKER_00: Super high energy.
8:18
SPEAKER_02: It's a bucket list for me for sure.
8:20
SPEAKER_02: Definitely is.
8:21
SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's what I was gonna say.
8:22
SPEAKER_02: But but quite literally, we talked about this briefly.
8:25
SPEAKER_02: Like it was like, oh, Foo Fighters is touring.
8:27
SPEAKER_02: Oh, we should go to wherever.
8:29
SPEAKER_01: Carm just bought him.
8:30
SPEAKER_02: No, literally, he fucking shot in the the screenshot, like I bought the tickets, and we're like, oh.
8:36
SPEAKER_01: That's a way to get you guys committed.
8:37
SPEAKER_01: I'll say that.
8:38
SPEAKER_00: Yep.
8:38
SPEAKER_01: Um, how much were they?
8:41
SPEAKER_01: Uh what, bucks 78.
8:43
SPEAKER_00: I I think they were like a hundred and yeah, 175 apiece.
8:46
SPEAKER_00: But they're they're good things.
8:48
SPEAKER_01: Not nearly what I paid on Noacon, so that's fine.
8:51
SPEAKER_02: No, but I mean it's expensive, but it's a stadium because stadiums are always expensive and it's ridiculous.
8:57
SPEAKER_02: But nice.
8:58
SPEAKER_02: Cool.
8:59
SPEAKER_02: But little boys cheese sticks.
9:01
SPEAKER_02: A couple weeks.
9:02
SPEAKER_00: April or uh April.
9:03
SPEAKER_00: August uh August what 13th, 12th?
9:08
SPEAKER_00: 13th somewhere in there?
9:09
SPEAKER_01: Somewhere in there during the week?
9:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's on a Thursday.
9:13
SPEAKER_01: Nice.
9:15
SPEAKER_01: Good stuff.
9:16
SPEAKER_01: Um you guys, I was this sounded like a way better idea to talk about on the pod yesterday afternoon when I was watching it, but have you guys ever heard of the sport?
9:29
SPEAKER_01: It was on actual television on ESPN 8, the Ocho.
9:33
SPEAKER_01: Ooh.
9:34
SPEAKER_01: Mailboat jumping.
9:37
SPEAKER_01: No.
9:38
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
9:39
SPEAKER_01: It is literally, and apparently it's only like teenage girls that do it.
9:44
SPEAKER_01: It's not what you think, Corey.
9:46
SPEAKER_01: Get your head out of the gutter.
9:47
SPEAKER_01: I can already see it.
9:49
SPEAKER_01: Um, they you literally are on these like they're not ferry boats, but they look kind of like small ferry boats.
9:56
SPEAKER_01: They go really slow, and you stand on the on the side, like hanging off, and you get to a dock, and you literally jump from the boat to the dock, and you either put something in a mailbox that's on the dock, or you take something out of the mailbox on a dock.
10:12
SPEAKER_01: Most of them kiss the mailbox after they've put something in or taken something out, and they time you and you jump back on the boat.
10:20
SPEAKER_01: It's a real thing, guys.
10:22
SPEAKER_01: Like it had commentators, it was on actual television, it's annual.
10:26
SPEAKER_01: Apparently, it's like a uh a northeast thing.
10:30
SPEAKER_01: So, like, like in the same areas that you would have like rowing in college, like those like New England, Connecticut, like Maine, Rhoda, it's apparently a real thing.
10:39
SPEAKER_01: It is the strangest thing in the world, and uh I don't even know how to describe it.
10:44
SPEAKER_01: I watched it, I watched it for like 20 minutes yesterday.
10:47
SPEAKER_01: Uh fascinated, waiting for someone to like fall in the water, but they're going so slow, like nobody does.
10:54
SPEAKER_01: I don't think so.
10:55
SPEAKER_01: I don't think so.
10:56
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
10:58
SPEAKER_01: Wild, never heard of it.
10:59
SPEAKER_02: Just that's worse than golf.
11:02
SPEAKER_01: It's not even close, dude.
11:03
SPEAKER_01: You weren't talking about golf.
11:05
SPEAKER_01: The open championship was on today, and it was electric.
11:08
SPEAKER_01: Electric.
11:09
SPEAKER_02: Hold on.
11:10
SPEAKER_01: Corey, there's so much no, it was.
11:13
SPEAKER_01: Hold on.
11:14
SPEAKER_02: Huh?
11:15
SPEAKER_01: You don't listen.
11:17
SPEAKER_01: I'm listening.
11:19
SPEAKER_01: I can't describe it, okay?
11:21
SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna be able to describe it.
11:22
SPEAKER_01: You know how we talk about recovery and how like on the surface is very simple, but like it it I'm trying to make a serious point here, okay?
11:35
SPEAKER_01: It's like deep and vast, like there's so much more to it than just not drinking.
11:40
SPEAKER_01: Like, there's there's so much more to it.
11:41
SPEAKER_01: Then we get into like Corey, the service piece of it and all the different entities and like all that stuff, the stuff me and you joke about, but in all seriousness, golf has so many layers, and I it I promise you it's it's not gonna make sense, but it's so many layers.
11:56
SPEAKER_01: So, like the open championship is always either in like Ireland, Scotland, or the UK, but parts of the UK that are um like it's it's like Heathland and Dunescape and like these just like baked out, brown, firm and fast, just dusty golf courses.
12:17
SPEAKER_01: And I say all that stuff to you, and that doesn't mean anything to you, but for a golf fan, it is the most epic legendary golf watching that we get.
12:26
SPEAKER_01: Juxtapose that with like Augusta National, where the Masters has played.
12:30
SPEAKER_01: Augusta is like perfect, green flowers everywhere, not a not a blade of grass out of place, lush, beautiful landscape.
12:40
SPEAKER_01: It's like two completely different worlds, but both of them are like held in such high esteem.
12:48
SPEAKER_01: Um it was it's it was it was awesome.
12:51
SPEAKER_01: It was really awesome.
12:53
SPEAKER_01: So that's not gonna mean much to our listeners, but hopefully they can at least hear the the passion in my voice about it.
13:00
SPEAKER_01: It was awesome.
13:01
SPEAKER_02: I just want to play golf because I feel like it'll it'll make me look like I'm doing well in life.
13:09
SPEAKER_02: Like, oh, he like he's doing really well, he plays a lot of golf.
13:13
SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, I just so it's more about the prestige of it.
13:18
SPEAKER_00: The facade, yeah.
13:19
SPEAKER_00: The facade, yeah.
13:20
SPEAKER_02: Because it really doesn't matter how you feel in the case.
13:22
SPEAKER_00: The impeccable coat of tan.
13:24
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
13:25
unknown: Yeah.
13:26
SPEAKER_00: When's the last time you you uh just completely destroyed your family in Putt Putt?
13:32
SPEAKER_00: Because that's step one.
13:33
SPEAKER_00: I th I feel like you gotta take an old putt-putt and just I think he's kinda got it.
13:36
SPEAKER_01: I think he's kind of got a point there.
13:38
SPEAKER_02: Oh dude, we went we went it was some months ago, but we went up to Orlando and did some Disney mini golf.
13:44
SPEAKER_02: Like they have like mini golf like themed Disney mini golf courses and shit.
13:50
SPEAKER_02: And yeah, I didn't let anybody win.
13:51
SPEAKER_02: Fuck that.
13:52
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, listen, they need to do they need to earn their victories.
13:55
SPEAKER_01: Um, Janine in the chat said the that there is a new Netflix show called The Hawk with Will Farrell.
14:00
SPEAKER_01: Have you guys heard of it?
14:01
SPEAKER_01: It's about it's about him as like a an ex-golf pro or something like that.
14:07
SPEAKER_00: Huh?
14:07
SPEAKER_00: The washed up golfer or something.
14:09
SPEAKER_01: Something like something like that.
14:10
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's supposed to be really funny.
14:11
SPEAKER_01: I haven't seen it yet, but it just came out.
14:13
SPEAKER_01: But good stuff.
14:16
SPEAKER_01: Hey, go ahead, Corey.
14:17
SPEAKER_02: I got uh go ahead.
14:20
SPEAKER_01: Uh totally taking a turn in a different direction.
14:22
SPEAKER_01: Um do you guys do you guys still get birthday cakes for your birthday?
14:28
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but is there anyone let me rephrase that.
14:31
SPEAKER_01: Is there anyone in your life that's like, hey, Corey, your birthday's coming up?
14:36
SPEAKER_01: What kind of cake do you want?
14:40
SPEAKER_01: I'm trying to think.
14:42
SPEAKER_02: Last year.
14:45
SPEAKER_02: I don't think so.
14:47
SPEAKER_00: Lauren, Lauren always does, dude.
14:49
SPEAKER_02: She always, I mean, I like she doesn't hates me, is the thing.
14:55
unknown: Of course.
14:56
SPEAKER_01: Fuck you, Greg.
14:57
SPEAKER_01: All right, you you and your happy fucking Well, Corey, I'll make you feel better.
15:01
SPEAKER_01: I'll make you feel better.
15:02
SPEAKER_01: My my wife doesn't ask, although she would if she thought I wanted her to.
15:07
SPEAKER_01: But my mom, since I'm not kidding you guys, since I was like maybe eight years old, maybe even before that, she always makes me a cheesecake on my birthday because I love cheesecake.
15:17
SPEAKER_01: I don't really like regular birthday cake's fine.
15:20
SPEAKER_01: Cream cheese icing, I like better, carrot cake, but like regular birthday cake's fine, like I can take it or leave it.
15:25
SPEAKER_01: But my mom always makes me a cheesecake, and it's not just any old cheesecake, like I get to hit her with any kind of flavor profile that I want, and if like she can like legitimately do it with ingredients that she can find, she'll make it.
15:38
SPEAKER_01: I mean, she's made me creme brulee, all types of all kinds of stuff.
15:44
SPEAKER_01: So this year I'm getting uh cappuccino heath bar cheesecake.
15:50
SPEAKER_02: Oh, dude.
15:51
SPEAKER_02: That's interesting.
15:52
SPEAKER_01: I'm excited.
15:54
SPEAKER_01: What kind of if you guys had your choice, what would be the the number one cake, whether it's cake or cheesecake, what would you have?
16:01
SPEAKER_01: That's that's really my question.
16:03
SPEAKER_00: Like, what is what's Corey and Greg's dream cake?
16:06
SPEAKER_00: I'll tell you right now, because I'm still 12 years old at heart.
16:09
SPEAKER_00: Give me a fucking ice cream cake all day long with the with the little crunchies, with the crunch in there, dude, with the crunch.
16:16
SPEAKER_00: That's that hits hard.
16:17
SPEAKER_00: I agree.
16:17
SPEAKER_00: I agree.
16:18
SPEAKER_00: Give me that.
16:18
SPEAKER_00: I'm a I'm I'm a happy, happy man.
16:20
SPEAKER_02: That's a good one.
16:21
SPEAKER_02: I think I'm not much of a cake guy, and I think that's maybe because Gabby made me stuffed shells last year.
16:27
SPEAKER_01: So you can go any direction.
16:28
SPEAKER_01: Well, you know, I don't don't do not hit me with stuffed shelves.
16:30
SPEAKER_01: You can go any direction though, like any kind of dessert, then I guess.
16:33
SPEAKER_01: Like if you've had your dream birthday dessert.
16:36
SPEAKER_02: I can tell you, I can I can tell you that cheese.
16:40
SPEAKER_02: I I'm a cheesecake guy.
16:41
SPEAKER_02: I like and I'm not, but I'm not like uh I can't.
16:44
SPEAKER_02: I knew there was a reason I was hanging on to you and my friend group, Corey.
16:47
SPEAKER_02: I can do a little bit of like the strawberry swirl bullshit and whatever, but I'm not much of a I don't I don't I'm a I'm a vanilla guy when it comes to cheesecake.
16:57
SPEAKER_02: I I just like the New York style cheesecake, nothing really on it.
17:01
SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
17:02
SPEAKER_01: I can go I can go plain too.
17:04
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I like some flavored cheesecakes, but I can go plain.
17:07
SPEAKER_02: A good one.
17:08
SPEAKER_02: You you don't really need anything on it.
17:09
SPEAKER_02: I would agree.
17:10
SPEAKER_00: I honestly I'm I'm not a cheesecake person at all.
17:15
SPEAKER_00: I can't stand it.
17:16
SPEAKER_00: I don't I don't like the taste of it.
17:18
SPEAKER_00: And I'm the only person that I've met.
17:20
SPEAKER_00: Like everybody that I say that I like whenever I'm anywhere and they're like, oh, you gotta try this cheesecake, or you know, whatever the case may be, or can we go out for cheesecake?
17:28
SPEAKER_00: No, like I I'll go, but I'm not getting any, you know.
17:32
SPEAKER_00: And I get that same that I I I don't think I've ever met another person that doesn't like cheesecake.
17:38
SPEAKER_02: But I got a hot take about as far as cakes go.
17:41
SPEAKER_02: I don't even know if it's a hot take, but it's it's mine.
17:44
SPEAKER_02: Don't put fruit on my fucking cake.
17:46
SPEAKER_02: Don't put straw I'm not a strawberry like on on on top of the cake kind of guy.
17:51
SPEAKER_02: What about a strawberry shortcake?
17:53
SPEAKER_02: I I mean I guess, but it's good.
17:57
SPEAKER_01: It's not my favorite.
17:58
SPEAKER_01: I'm not ordering it or requesting it, but if it's there, if you have that as your as one of your desserts, solid, solid choice.
18:04
SPEAKER_01: I like whipped cream, strawberries.
18:06
SPEAKER_02: I like pineapple upside down cake just soaked in rum.
18:10
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
18:11
SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, of course.
18:12
SPEAKER_02: Kyle G's is naturally shit.
18:14
SPEAKER_02: Kyle G's has one where they like cook it all off.
18:18
SPEAKER_02: But I think it could be.
18:19
SPEAKER_01: Janine put chocolate pecan pie.
18:21
SPEAKER_01: I don't really like the chocolate pecan pie, but I do like a good pecan pie or pecan pie, depending on where you're from.
18:28
SPEAKER_01: I do like that.
18:29
SPEAKER_01: That's a good one too.
18:31
SPEAKER_01: Coconut custard's another one.
18:33
SPEAKER_01: Um, I I do think I do think besides cheesecake, which like technically isn't a cake, or maybe it is, maybe it's not, I do think I'm more of a pie guy than a cake guy, other than that.
18:44
SPEAKER_01: I do like that.
18:45
SPEAKER_01: What's your favorite pie?
18:49
SPEAKER_01: Um probably a uh Oh, I already know this.
18:54
SPEAKER_02: I already know this, Sean.
18:55
SPEAKER_02: I'm pretty sure.
18:56
SPEAKER_02: I think that's a good one.
18:56
SPEAKER_02: You already know what is talked about this before.
18:59
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
18:59
SPEAKER_01: I feel like you're gonna say key lime.
19:01
SPEAKER_01: I do love a good key lime pie.
19:03
SPEAKER_01: I I wouldn't say it's my favorite, but I do love a good key lime pie.
19:06
SPEAKER_01: So you know what I like?
19:07
SPEAKER_01: Give me a good like peach cobbler or peach pie with with warmed up with some ice cream.
19:13
SPEAKER_01: Dude, can't beat it.
19:15
SPEAKER_01: Can't beat it.
19:16
SPEAKER_01: Or like a cherry pie.
19:17
SPEAKER_01: Apple's fine, blueberry's fine, but like a good warm cherry pie with like some some gotta be French vanilla, I think.
19:24
SPEAKER_01: Not no vanilla bean, but French vanilla.
19:27
SPEAKER_01: You know, yeah.
19:28
SPEAKER_01: I'm an apple and pumpkin.
19:30
SPEAKER_01: I don't mind apple, I don't mind pumpkin.
19:32
SPEAKER_01: I like it all.
19:32
SPEAKER_01: I kind of like it all.
19:34
SPEAKER_00: But I'm a I'm a poon tang guy through and through.
19:37
SPEAKER_02: I was new you were going there.
19:38
SPEAKER_01: Love that one up for you.
19:40
SPEAKER_01: Love that.
19:41
SPEAKER_01: Uh world world cup was on today, guys.
19:44
SPEAKER_01: I know you guys, I it was actually a really good game.
19:46
SPEAKER_01: Spain beat Argentina.
19:48
SPEAKER_01: Um, I think if the US, I said it from the beginning after the US got beat, I was going for Spain, so good on them.
19:56
SPEAKER_01: World Cup's over.
19:58
SPEAKER_01: On to the U.S.
19:59
SPEAKER_02: Does that happen every four years?
20:01
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
20:02
SPEAKER_02: Like the Olympics?
20:03
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
20:03
SPEAKER_01: But that's the thing.
20:04
SPEAKER_01: You have the you have the Olympics in between, so it's it's really the same type of hype and like countries and setup.
20:13
SPEAKER_01: Uh Janine loves Argentina uh by her chat, we can tell.
20:18
SPEAKER_01: Um but it's yeah, so it's it really seems like it's every two years.
20:26
SPEAKER_01: But yes, the World Cup specifically is every four years.
20:29
SPEAKER_02: What do they do in between?
20:31
SPEAKER_01: Olympics.
20:32
SPEAKER_02: They do.
20:33
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so like every so basically every other year you have either the Olympics or the World Cup.
20:39
SPEAKER_01: And it's really the same.
20:40
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's not exactly the same format, but it's essentially the same thing.
20:44
SPEAKER_02: Well, like the World Cup is like the the big cheese.
20:48
SPEAKER_01: I would say it's a little little more prestige than the Olympics, but it kind of gets the same it kind of gets the same hype.
20:54
SPEAKER_02: Because you know what I mean?
20:55
SPEAKER_02: Like that would kind of suck if like because you know you know, my boy Jalen Hurts has a shot at the Super Bowl every year, right?
21:02
SPEAKER_02: But like if you if it's every four years, that kind of sucks because you you age out pretty quick, you know.
21:08
SPEAKER_01: That is a good point.
21:09
SPEAKER_01: That is a good point.
21:10
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
21:11
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
21:12
SPEAKER_02: Just my observation, Sean.
21:14
SPEAKER_02: You know?
21:14
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
21:15
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
21:16
SPEAKER_01: What else is going on?
21:17
SPEAKER_01: Any anything else you guys want to talk about?
21:19
SPEAKER_01: Anything going on?
21:20
SPEAKER_01: Danny's uh Danny's camping with the kids.
21:23
SPEAKER_01: Um we wish him the best.
21:26
SPEAKER_01: Sounds like a terrible idea, but I hope they're having a blast.
21:29
SPEAKER_01: He did send a picture through early.
21:30
SPEAKER_01: It does look like Maya's having fun legitimately.
21:33
SPEAKER_00: So I'm I'm curious to know when he gets back, like what kind of camping we're really talking about here.
21:39
SPEAKER_00: Right.
21:40
SPEAKER_00: You roughing it.
21:41
SPEAKER_00: Are you are you doing it?
21:42
SPEAKER_01: Are we talking about Serenity on the Mountain camping in a yeah in a cabin with heat and hot water?
21:47
SPEAKER_00: Not that you need heat this time of year, but you get or the or the now ever so popular glamping, which is uh you know, uh a whole nother level.
21:57
SPEAKER_01: Knowing him, he's probably got like a fucking best western on the outskirts of town.
22:02
SPEAKER_01: You know?
22:03
SPEAKER_00: Well I was gonna say Dan doesn't do cooking.
22:07
SPEAKER_00: He he doesn't cook.
22:08
SPEAKER_00: He he do he does all of his food DoorDash or or layer some some kind of stuff like that.
22:14
SPEAKER_00: You know so so I want to know how he's how he's he's ordering food.
22:18
SPEAKER_01: He can't send an address he has to drop a pin coordinates north by northwest a little longitude and latitude to get his uh to get his uh his white pizza delivered to him.
22:29
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
22:29
SPEAKER_01: White pizza yeah so I feel like there was something else that we should have touched on before we got going but I I could just be I could be a lot of negative things to say okay well in that case in that case we'll get right into it.
22:49
SPEAKER_01: So um were you gonna were you actually gonna say something?
22:56
SPEAKER_00: No R I P Sam Neil aka Dr.
23:00
SPEAKER_00: Alan Grant that's what I got to say.
23:02
SPEAKER_01: Alright the dude from Jurassic Park bro Rest in peace the old white guy oh really yeah I mean he was old in those movies so good on him for living this long anyways no not the old not the grandpa the doctor Dr.
23:20
SPEAKER_00: Grant from Jurassic Park like the main character no listen Jeff Goldblum was the main character I don't know but he I won't I won't talk ill of Jeff Goldblum ever so that's pretty sure the dinosaurs are I mean yeah pretty sure the fucking Tyrannosaurus Rex was the main character.
23:44
SPEAKER_01: Alright good stuff so we are talking about so you people hear us talk about mentors and mentorship the people that kind of guided us and led us in recovery um we all the three of us you know we all still are at one point we're technically all in the same mentorship family um I've mentored you know both of you um Greg when you lived here and then you know Corey Corey came to me already spun out a little bit and and and hang dried uh thank goodness for that um but we want to talk about mentorship and specifically some some some very specific things concerning mentorship but let's this might be a little weird because I I was y'all's mentor in the beginning but uh but set that aside like let's talk about the quickly the importance of mentorship what it meant to us especially early on we guess now but especially early on um in our sobriety so um you know Greg we'll go with you um let's start with you like the just the importance of it why or I guess why it's so important we're talking to the newcomer here uh they don't want to get one they don't think they need one like let's talk about why it's so important I mean it for a multitude of different reasons but something that we've talked about most recently like coming in the door and and just the vibe and the atmosphere and everything like that like not not having to go through all that alone by yourself um you know getting getting connected and and plugged into the fellowship I think would be the the first big thing but moving forward from that you know um if if we if we didn't need each other in in all this and we could just do it ourselves um all on our own then it it wouldn't rec the need for recovery wouldn't exist right so um but I think to have somebody to you know bounce your ideas off of early on to have somebody to call when you're feeling a little bit froggy to have somebody to take you through the work um you know page by page step by step you know um and and show you the way that it's that all this kind of stuff is done is of the utmost importance I think um again if I could do all this on my own I wouldn't need any of you people so and every time I've I've tried to do things on my own I I always wind up right back at the same place I started uh which is um you know rock bottom ground zero whatever you want to say but um you know the the coming into this thing and especially early on in sobriety your head's all over the place.
26:38
SPEAKER_00: It just I I mean you know not not just like the you know the constant running thoughts but you know I I really don't know who I am.
26:46
SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm starting all over again I'm starting fresh and it and it's almost like you know I I won't say it's like being a child again but it kind of is you need to definitely you know yeah yeah and um especially when it comes to my thinking and and and the irrational behavior that I've I've displayed leading up to that point.
27:08
SPEAKER_00: I think it having somebody there who is strong in their recovery having somebody that's strong in their in their faith and their belief and somebody who can really take that time with you to show you the way is of the utmost importance.
27:21
SPEAKER_01: So you know and I I agree with that like I I look back on it and it's like like you said I don't I don't know who I am yet I I don't have I don't know how to navigate recovery.
27:34
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean I don't I've never I've for me personally I had never really been sober except sometimes that I was forced to be sober.
27:41
SPEAKER_01: But there are so many things that like I just I just didn't I didn't know what the the lingo was I didn't know where to certain like rules and etiquette and protocol um there were so many things early on that I was just completely lost.
27:57
SPEAKER_01: I knew enough that like I needed to go to meetings you know recovery groups like that was that was a big thing but um it was it's such a there's so many pitfalls and one of the questions we're going to get into is like is the mentor just a person to take us through the work of recovery or are they a person that can give us kind of life direction and guidance and and I think you know the answer is is both technically but I I I you know I want to talk eventually about like where that line gets blurred.
28:28
SPEAKER_01: So um Corey what about you?
28:30
SPEAKER_01: Why if you were talking to the newcomer right now what would you tell them you're talking to the newcomer that says I don't want a mentor I don't need a mentor I've got this figured out uh I'll or I will figure it out what would you say to them to can help convince them that they need a mentor um is this a trick question no no it's not okay we're talking to the people uh that are listening Corey okay so this person doesn't want a mentor I I don't know I'm not gonna spend a lot of time uh trying to convince them of that to be honest I'd I would probably spend a little bit of time trying to even if it's a little sneaky but just share some of my experience and you know maybe they maybe they latch on to a couple things you know in the meantime and it plants a seed you know I think we're in the business of planting seeds a lot sometimes.
29:31
SPEAKER_01: Yeah well let me all right let me let me shift that question just a touch.
29:35
SPEAKER_02: You're talking to the newcomer that asks you why do I need one like what's the point of having a mentor oh well there's pretty much endless reason or uh reasons for that I guess but mainly I'd say like I need somebody as the newcomer like I need somebody qualified to take me through the process of getting sober.
29:57
SPEAKER_02: Like you know it's like anything else that um literally anything else that I need to be taught by somebody who you know quote unquote taught by somebody who has experience right that can answer some questions hopefully from their experience and things like that.
30:13
SPEAKER_02: I used to think dude I used to think it was like all about accountability and it was like oh I thought about drinking today I better tell my mentor I gotta tell on myself.
30:23
SPEAKER_01: Yeah I got better tell on myself and like to be honest like that's like I mean that's sure but there's no harm in that no but it's probably like three percent of it you know what I mean it's not like because the real because the real ones know that when you're really actually thinking about drinking or you're about to drink the last thing we're doing is calling our mentors or anyone else for that matter and telling themselves.
30:46
SPEAKER_02: Well that's exactly it and I I left meetings before where they were like you know make after they hug you they hugged me a bunch and they said make sure you call me before you drink don't call me after you drink yeah call me before you drink because I can't be after that and it's like okay I got it and then I'm like driving on the highway on my way to get drugs or alcohol or whatever and I'm like punching the steering wheel because I don't really want to do it but I do want to do it and I'm like maybe I should call somebody nope bad idea and then it's like that quick that okay that didn't work.
31:20
SPEAKER_02: So you know that's like a small fraction of it.
31:24
SPEAKER_02: I really can't I mean I have I have had a guy that I was mentoring before like reach out to me and in a time that he thought he'd want to drink and I didn't have a whole lot of advice for him but I did tell him go go drink if you want to buddy.
31:38
SPEAKER_02: Well it wasn't even I didn't even say that I said okay I said listen if you want a shot at not drinking tonight I I would hit your knees I'd hit your knees and I would I would start praying and every time you think about it I'd I'd pray and like I don't know that you're not going to drink tonight but it's the best shot you got because I'm not gonna help you.
31:55
SPEAKER_01: I would almost venture a guess that like the people that that do actually call their mentors or someone else in their support group and are like hey I really want to drink right now I would actually say like they actually want to drink less than the person who just goes out and drinks and says fuck that I'm not calling anybody part of my language.
32:15
SPEAKER_02: You know Brian said it once at at one of the porch meetings he said something like you know you guys that are reaching out for help are less on the outside of this thing than you think you are.
32:25
SPEAKER_02: Right.
32:26
SPEAKER_01: It's the ones that are not speaking up so Greg can can mentorship cross a boundary and what I mean by that is we hear a lot in the rooms of recovery like oh you know what's the favorite one don't get into relationships within the first year um don't take that job do take this job this is what you should do this is what you shouldn't do is there a place where like that stuff crosses a boundary crosses a line into trying to actually run somebody's life when we know that the whole purpose of what we're doing in recovery is try to put our hand in God's hands and let God run our life is there a line where that human form of mentor can cross a line with with that or any of those things anything?
33:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah absolutely I mean you said it you said it best there is is the the human the human line right um because we all know that none of us um is responsible for getting the other one sober right we're we're just here to walk you know hand in hand step by step with this person you know help introduce them to what the program of recovery looks like you know help them to um you know gain a a a contact with their creator and and help strengthen that relationship along the way help see all of the the negative stuff that they got sitting inside themselves and sitting on their heart help help them to take that to that higher power and and you know um help them set right the shit that they did wrong you know and and and as far as guidance is concerned anyways and then you you give them on hey go go do the same thing that I just did for you you know with somebody else and that that is what it is in a in a very summed up sense I guess um but it it can certainly cross that line it can cross that line both ways uh on on both ends of that relationship but I think more often than not it is the the mentor that crosses that line and I think that you do just kind of have to draw that hard line you know um I remember you saying early on like I'm not your banker I'm not your relationship counselor I'm not your chauffeur to and from anywhere you know um not to say that you didn't you know and and that several people you know along the way didn't hey hey you know we're we're all going out for dinner afterwards cut hey I'll pick you up for the meeting and then we're gonna go out you know whatever but there there is that line there and I think that that is very important.
35:07
SPEAKER_00: I think that also too I think early on we talked a lot about um spiritual consent you know and what that means and and the fact that you know if if I am that newcomer if I am that person that's that's you know just early on in this thing and and you know I do give like yeah spiritual consent like meaning that like I want to I want to do this thing to the best of my ability and I know that you know as I start to get a little bit better maybe some of my behaviors are going to be a little bit out of whack and I give you consent to check me on those behaviors.
35:41
SPEAKER_00: You know I give you consent to to call a spade a spade when you see it you know and I you know I think that that stuff's important but at the same time having been in that position myself as a mentor for other people I need to I need to constantly be checking my own behavior too because I again it's kind of like you said I'm not here to run anybody's life right you know there there are times even still now a decade on where I have problems running my own life sometimes you know or or at least you know things get hectic and crazy.
36:14
SPEAKER_00: So um it's not up to me to do that for anybody else.
36:18
SPEAKER_01: Yeah I agree.
36:19
SPEAKER_01: Corey what about you?
36:20
SPEAKER_01: What do you do you think that there's a line that we can cross as mentors do we we where we delve into kind of you know running someone's life or being too rigid uh as opposed to just being a guide through the recovery process and maybe some life stuff along the way uh yeah it gets real fucking weird too it gets real weird.
36:43
SPEAKER_02: This is why like people think that like some factions of recovery is is like a cult.
36:49
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
36:49
SPEAKER_02: Because I've been like I God I wish I remembered the details of this but I know I saw it with my own eyes but like I I went to a particular Wednesday night meeting back in the day and one jackass had his jackass that he was helping get sober on the floor doing fucking push-ups for whatever reason.
37:08
SPEAKER_02: Like he I don't know what he did or said or whatever something that the mentor thought was out of line and he was like drop down and give me 20 like it's fucking boot camp or something.
37:18
SPEAKER_02: Like that's just weird.
37:19
SPEAKER_02: I know that's not exactly where you're going Sean but like that's that popped into mind.
37:23
SPEAKER_02: Hold on is that a true story that's a true story and I can tell you who it was after but um I think I I think I might guess I don't I don't think either one of you is gonna guess he's actually back around these days and he's a pleasure to be around to be honest and I'm glad that maybe a little more drinking beat that dumb shit out of his head because it was stupid but um you know uh bad mentorship it it travels generations sometimes you know what I mean?
37:51
SPEAKER_02: Yeah um but yeah it it gets it can get weird and I don't know um I I guess as a mentor I gotta remember that uh I'm not the arbiter of anybody's sex life or even their five really anything in their in their life right it's it's truly like we forget that we're truly just supposed to share yeah we're just a vessel we're just supposed to share our experience pertaining to drinking now like obviously like our behaviors and stuff are part of that.
38:25
SPEAKER_02: I mean I I know that like you know Sean you're familiar with all the things you've corrected me on or or like or even actually even saying like you corrected me on is might be a stretch too like I always like ask for that right I ask for offered a different way to go about things.
38:42
SPEAKER_01: Yeah yeah and uh shit like that but I don't know um yeah it it can I think I I I don't think I can say any better than that we're not we're not supposed to be like a how to put it a a life coach maybe like yeah definitely not definitely not a life coach but so I guess here's where I come out on it all is like like you said Corey we're we're here to to talk about our experience with drinking and then getting sober and mainly we're here to take someone through the recovery process right the spiritual exercises that we talk about that's our main job right a spiritual advisor.
39:22
SPEAKER_01: Yeah and in that in that does come some practical life guidance right like so when we get specifically when we get to you know the prayer meditation part of it which hopefully we're praying early on but specifically a little into the process we get into some very specific things about prayer meditation you know I can offer much practical advice on what I on my my meditation routine today what it as opposed to what it was when I first got sober or was first getting sober, how I started out like so there are and that's a pretty simple example but there are a lot of life things you know it it comes to it but then you get the stuff that I think is well within bounds right I there was a lot of stuff I did not know how to do or did not have much experience doing in the real world when I got sober.
40:12
SPEAKER_01: I got sober at 22 almost 23 years old Corey I know you were younger.
40:16
SPEAKER_01: Greg, I know you were a little bit older and you had done maybe a few more you know in the professional realm in your industry and stuff but still like I learned how to write resumes in sobriety part of that was in college but like I I got I learned how to um you know hey go on a job interview get dressed like there's there was you know you get dressed up you don't wear fucking flip-flops and board shorts to an interview um you know there was stuff of like okay now it's time to get a bank account oh and a savings account and you should like put money in that and you should stop spending your money on dumb stuff.
40:51
SPEAKER_01: Now my mentor never once said don't spend money on that or Sean you're spending too much money on this or that um but but there were there were times that when I went to him with questions or other people in my support group that had knowledge but there were some times where like he just offered suggestions but that's all they were were suggestions or kind of like practical life guidance like hey maybe you should think about doing it this way or his best thing to me was like hey Sean that sounds like a great idea why don't you try looking at it this way though and tell me what you think right it was almost like he he put the ball in in my court with that and something I learned years ago when it came to guys I mentor whether it's relationships money work family friends health anything it's like I am clear that part of my responsibility is to tell them the truth.
41:52
SPEAKER_01: I should do it in a loving and tactful way I don't need to be a dick about I don't need to be an asshole about it which I've I've I've fallen short of that at times but to tell them hey hey I don't think that's a good idea.
42:07
SPEAKER_01: I think this is dangerous.
42:08
SPEAKER_01: I think you're being selfish I think this I think that and that's it.
42:13
SPEAKER_01: What they do with that information is between them and God.
42:16
SPEAKER_01: I used to get hung up on the outcome of whether they listened to me or not and I'm I was setting myself up for for misery many times over when I was doing that.
42:27
SPEAKER_01: When I finally got through my head hey I just need to offer this guidance offer this advice because that's where my responsibility as a mentor lies and then wash my hands of what they do with it my life became a lot more peaceful you know yeah dude I my god dude I don't know if you could get the statistics on like how many suggestions are actually followed yeah you know what I mean it's yeah it's not that hot yeah but certain certain stuff will stick like even stuff that I didn't follow you know but that like again I can remember you know Sean saying in in one particular situation and I won't get into it but he you know I remember I was going through it with a girl it's the classic story right going through with a girl yada yeah yeah and he says to me and it still stuck with me all these years later of dude trust me when you do this work and when you go through this spiritual change you will not even find yourself remotely attracted to that type of person anymore.
43:32
SPEAKER_00: And of course I didn't believe him and of course I had to do my own research.
43:37
SPEAKER_00: Right.
43:37
SPEAKER_02: And of course it was the truth and it remains true all these years later but you know yeah like I had to I had to take that thump on the noggin myself, you know pretty sure we got in trouble last time you brought this story up but I might we might have, you know I I don't know, but but it's it's the truth.
43:54
SPEAKER_01: It you know it um I mean Corey I told Gabby to leave you years ago dude Yeah, I know that you motherfucker.
44:01
SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry.
44:03
SPEAKER_02: Um Yeah, but no, I uh to Greg's point, dude.
44:08
SPEAKER_02: I swear I I swear I if you could bet on this stuff, I would be filthy rich because I would bet that any time and I'm guilty of it too, but any time that you have to give advice or a suggestion on sex life and finances, they are not gonna listen.
44:24
SPEAKER_01: That's pretty pretty true.
44:26
SPEAKER_02: Those are the two things.
44:27
SPEAKER_02: You can say you should go to this meeting, you should take the service commitment, yeah, you should go to this retreat.
44:32
SPEAKER_01: Oh, listen to that stuff for the most part.
44:34
SPEAKER_02: You could be like, hey, go pick up trash on the side of the highway, and they'll probably do it.
44:38
SPEAKER_02: But if it's like, oh yeah, it might be a little early to be hanging out with that girl, oh yeah, you're probably right.
44:44
SPEAKER_00: We are we are creatures of instant gratification, and I think even more so, you know, I I can certainly speak for myself in this, but when I start to form an idea in my head, it's like I I go for it, man.
44:58
SPEAKER_00: Like I I and somebody can sit here and tell me I'm wrong until they're blue in the face and try to provide me with all the data, but like I have that in my head already, you know.
45:08
SPEAKER_01: We're like dogs with a scent.
45:09
SPEAKER_01: We pick up a scent and we just go.
45:11
SPEAKER_01: So that that that's a good segue into this next question.
45:14
SPEAKER_01: Mentorship.
45:17
SPEAKER_01: Men with the men, women with the women.
45:20
SPEAKER_01: Where's the line that it's okay for a man to mentor a woman or a woman to to mentor a man?
45:25
SPEAKER_01: Where's the line?
45:26
SPEAKER_01: Who wants to start with that one?
45:28
SPEAKER_01: Corey, you go ahead with that one, buddy.
45:30
SPEAKER_02: I'm so I see, I'm I I don't know if I have a good answer for this because I'm very I'm not very conflicted on it, but I'm slightly give your honest to give your honest appraisal about it.
45:38
SPEAKER_01: I have one, I have a take on it.
45:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, my honest one is that it can be done, like men and women, like a man can help a woman and a woman can help a man, it can be done.
45:48
SPEAKER_02: I just don't know I'm it's not for me.
45:52
SPEAKER_02: I know that much.
45:53
SPEAKER_02: It's not for me, and uh I just have my doubts like dude, I just I don't know how I can say it any different than this, but like if I see a semi-handsome dude that's helping a even remotely attractive woman.
46:09
SPEAKER_01: I thought you were saying, never mind.
46:11
SPEAKER_01: I thought you were going in a different direction with that.
46:13
SPEAKER_01: Sorry, go ahead.
46:14
SPEAKER_02: You're really gay.
46:15
SPEAKER_02: Um anyway, if I see like a semi-handsome dude trying to help a even remotely attractive woman, I'm gonna be a little suspicious of that relationship.
46:26
SPEAKER_02: I just don't know I just I don't know.
46:29
SPEAKER_02: It might say well, yeah, but you know, I'll it's I I like to be like kind of neutral on this, but a little bit.
46:38
SPEAKER_02: And it might say more about me than it does anybody else, but like I don't see how you can sit across the table from that person and not have a half percentage of uh impure thought or motive.
46:51
SPEAKER_01: I wonder what they look like naked.
46:56
SPEAKER_02: Sean, I used to say that about everybody you help, but whatever.
47:01
SPEAKER_01: So and Greg, I'll kick this to you now.
47:03
SPEAKER_01: I here's where here's where I net out.
47:05
SPEAKER_01: I can make this real simple for me.
47:08
SPEAKER_01: Sean Edward McDonald Jr.
47:13
SPEAKER_01: This guy right here has no as a married man with three children and a beautiful wife at age 37 years of age, I have no business mentoring a woman.
47:26
SPEAKER_01: No business.
47:28
SPEAKER_01: Um if I'm and and I say that specifically because of like my demographic and my age group, right?
47:37
SPEAKER_01: There's no reason I need to be sitting down to your point, Corey, semi-attractive, fully attractive, even not attractive, right?
47:47
SPEAKER_01: Because and and it's not even so much the attraction thing, it's I'm gonna have to hear very intimate stuff from a woman who's anywhere remotely around my age, or younger or even older, that I'm not I'm not equipped to hear.
48:04
SPEAKER_01: Not because like it's like ooh, I don't want to hear that, but it's I'm not gonna be able going back to the giving life guidance and stuff, I'm not gonna be able to give the appropriate guidance, I don't think, for some of those situations that I might hear, right?
48:20
SPEAKER_01: Um, I have been asked by two women up to this point.
48:25
SPEAKER_01: It was to like take them through the recovery process.
48:28
SPEAKER_01: Like they wanted to, they've they've both been sober a while.
48:31
SPEAKER_01: They wanted to go through again.
48:32
SPEAKER_01: One was a little old lady named Eileen from the from a morning meeting I used to go to.
48:37
SPEAKER_01: Big shout out to Eileen, she was like almost 80 years old, sweet old lady.
48:41
SPEAKER_01: Um, I did not, you know, think about what she looked like naked.
48:46
SPEAKER_01: Um, but she was sorry, Eileen.
48:49
SPEAKER_01: But she was so it's true story, she was going blind.
48:53
SPEAKER_01: She couldn't really read anymore from our book.
48:56
SPEAKER_01: She wanted to try to retain and memorize as much information about our recovery literature as she could, and she knew that I had a pretty good working knowledge of of our of our main book that we read from and do the workout of, and she wanted to just go through that.
49:09
SPEAKER_01: I did that a couple of times.
49:11
SPEAKER_01: Like I sat with her a couple mornings before before the morning meeting, 30, 20 minutes, 30 minutes, and we did that.
49:16
SPEAKER_01: Didn't last very long.
49:18
SPEAKER_01: Um, there was another woman who was older than me, but not old by any means.
49:23
SPEAKER_01: And yeah, she was uh she was fairly attractive.
49:27
SPEAKER_01: She was fairly attractive, and I I had to very politely and very quickly say, No, ma'am, thank you.
49:33
SPEAKER_02: What if I cannot have Catherine just hooked you off the screen just now?
49:37
SPEAKER_02: Just bam, like a fucking.
49:38
SPEAKER_01: She knows it.
49:39
SPEAKER_01: She knows.
49:41
SPEAKER_01: I'm a smart husband, Corey.
49:42
SPEAKER_01: I told her all about it, and I made sure she knows that I said no.
49:46
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but that's my thing.
49:48
SPEAKER_01: So, like, to your point, Corey, like our I don't even want to say our age group because it can go either way, but I do think that's a big thing.
49:56
SPEAKER_01: Like, there's a certain demographic and age group.
49:59
SPEAKER_01: Listen, kicking this to Greg, but I want to throw this out there.
50:03
SPEAKER_02: Well, what if you factor in their sexual orientation?
50:06
SPEAKER_02: What if they're gay or lesbian or whatever the case may be?
50:10
SPEAKER_02: You know?
50:12
SPEAKER_00: That's interesting.
50:13
SPEAKER_00: Well, here's the deal.
50:15
SPEAKER_00: I'm not.
50:16
SPEAKER_00: So that you know, like that that's the thing, is is right, is like, am I gonna be able to keep my own motives pure?
50:24
SPEAKER_00: And yeah, and and that's what we're talking about, is you know, this is all you know, best laid p plans, you know, well-intentioned, all this, that, and the other, but there's no way that I could do that um ever.
50:36
SPEAKER_00: And I and I kind of take this same tack like we've talked about, like, well, can we take somebody who's who's on Suboxin or Methadone or something like that through the program of recovery?
50:48
SPEAKER_00: And you know, I like I I fall victim to this myself where it's like, man, I I just want to help people, and I just want to you know try and be the best version that of Greg that God wants me to be and all that, and it's like you can get mixed up in your own head about all that, you know.
51:05
SPEAKER_00: Um can we sit down and talk about like what it really means to be an alcoholic and an addict?
51:11
SPEAKER_00: Sure, absolutely.
51:12
SPEAKER_00: Can we sit down and talk about how what it means to be totally hopeless and beyond human aid?
51:19
SPEAKER_00: Sure.
51:20
SPEAKER_00: And can we start to scratch the surface of what what God is, you know, what a higher power is sure.
51:26
SPEAKER_00: And then I I think at that point it really, hey, I'm not gonna be of much assistance to you from here on out.
51:33
SPEAKER_00: And and here's the reasons why.
51:35
SPEAKER_00: And I think you know, I mean, just to echo what both of you guys have already said, but like, yeah, like I'm engaged, I have a family, I you know, I I have things that I have going on in my life that I'm not willing to lose over doing something stupid and making a stupid mistake.
51:51
SPEAKER_00: And even furthermore, you know, how am I gonna be of the utmost help to somebody that I don't understand what they've gone through?
52:00
SPEAKER_00: And I I don't understand um you know what they're they're thinking and they're feeling, besides just of of like the the zoomed out view of yes, we are all we've all been newcomers in this whole deal, but I don't know what's going through her head and her mind, and I'm woefully under-equipped to be able to do so.
52:22
SPEAKER_00: So um if if I am gonna be one of those people, maybe I need to take a good long hard look in the mirror and check my own motives on that because I just don't think we're not sitting here uh you know, equally equipped across the board to help everyone.
52:38
SPEAKER_00: It's just not possible.
52:40
SPEAKER_00: And I think go ahead.
52:42
SPEAKER_02: You know what else I don't know if either of you said or myself up until this point either, but like if I have a a girl come up and ask me to mentor her through the the recovery process It's like all that all that stuff we said is relevant, but it's also like I it doesn't even have to be me.
53:02
SPEAKER_02: Like I don't have the special ingredient that makes people sober either.
53:05
SPEAKER_02: Like there's a million other people in the room you know what I mean that can do the same thing I can do, right?
53:12
SPEAKER_02: So it's like it's it's an easy reason to to be like no I'm not gonna do that.
53:19
SPEAKER_02: Somebody else can if they choose.
53:22
SPEAKER_01: And uh two points, two extra points on it.
53:26
SPEAKER_01: Like Greg, to your point, you you said you're engaged, you have a family, I'm I'm you know, married with a family, Corey's married with a family.
53:33
SPEAKER_01: Picture this, it's a it's a Tuesday night.
53:37
SPEAKER_01: I've just started mentoring a 34-year-old woman.
53:44
SPEAKER_01: Alright, wife, all right, kids.
53:46
SPEAKER_01: Love all of you.
53:47
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna go spend an hour and a half with this 34-year-old woman in an intimate setting.
53:53
SPEAKER_01: Because guess what?
53:54
SPEAKER_01: And people will misplay that word intimate, right?
53:58
SPEAKER_01: But like if I'm I mean maybe if I'm meeting him at like, you know, Dunkin' Donuts out, but even so, you're you're you're sitting alone, you're in a corner, you're in a room that's you know, possibly not the most well lit, and I don't mean that in any type of romantic way.
54:11
SPEAKER_01: I just mean like that's what when I because if I was going out on that same Tuesday night to meet you, Corey, we would be going, think about it.
54:18
SPEAKER_01: Where do we where do we meet at the church we go to for our Tuesday night group?
54:22
SPEAKER_01: We meet in one of the back rooms.
54:23
SPEAKER_01: Yes, there's lights, but like he he tries to meet me over a candlelit dinner, Greg.
54:28
SPEAKER_01: He won't pay for it though, but so there's that piece of it.
54:32
SPEAKER_01: Um, I have over the years a couple of them.
54:34
SPEAKER_01: Um, one of them I'm still very close with.
54:36
SPEAKER_01: I talked to, he's still sober.
54:37
SPEAKER_01: He's he lives up in the Orlando area.
54:39
SPEAKER_01: Um, he was at at 12 um 12 keys, 12 palms years and years and years ago, and um it's an awesome relationship.
54:48
SPEAKER_01: And even though he likes men and I like women, he's still a guy, right?
54:56
SPEAKER_01: He's still a male.
54:57
SPEAKER_01: He's not confused about that.
54:59
SPEAKER_01: He might be, he might have been a homosexual, but he wasn't confused about that.
55:03
SPEAKER_01: And there were still there were still ways, there's still ways that men think, no matter what type of that they like, what you know, what sexuality they like, there's still a way that we think as men, that we operate, things that we go through insecurities, like all that same stuff that isn't quite the same when it's like a woman, you know what I mean?
55:29
SPEAKER_01: There, there's just some there's some things there, so there's still a a line of of uh evenness.
55:34
SPEAKER_00: You know, Lauren and I were talking about this the other day in in a totally obviously different context than of in recovery, but who here has been guilty of like I don't I hate the term like when somebody's like, oh, that's my work husband or my work wife or whatever.
55:50
SPEAKER_00: But like but that but think about that.
55:52
SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't know if you guys have ever been in that situation.
55:55
SPEAKER_00: I can remember one situation actually when I lived in Florida where I absolutely was in that situation where you spend so many hours with somebody at work, and like it never nothing ever came of of you know, on her end or my end with this coworker that I had, but it was definitely where you could tell there was mutual attraction building there, and I think it was you could see how it could get to that point a hundred percent, a hundred percent.
56:21
SPEAKER_00: And you know, and at the end of the day, I you know, I I would sit here and and and at the at that time I was in a relationship with somebody, you know.
56:29
SPEAKER_00: But I'm you know, starting in the back of my head to be like, oh well, you know, it's just she gets me on this level that's so much different, and whatever.
56:38
SPEAKER_00: It's like so nowadays.
56:43
SPEAKER_00: Right, she loves the office as much as I do.
56:46
SPEAKER_00: That's like just you know, so it's like we both love Dave Matthews, right?
56:51
SPEAKER_00: Right.
56:51
SPEAKER_00: So it's it's one of those things where like I don't I don't allow that door to be opened.
56:56
SPEAKER_01: That's that's where I net out.
56:58
SPEAKER_01: As a married man, that's that's I mean, Corey, how many times we talk like I I don't and it's not just Corey and Gabby, but like if I have to text Gabby, I have the two of them on a group thread.
57:10
SPEAKER_01: Might be a little extreme, some might say, but like I never want to give the question mark to my wife, to other people, to anyone.
57:20
SPEAKER_01: And when it comes to mentorship, that's an example that I'm proud to set.
57:25
SPEAKER_01: Whether it's a little extreme or not, I don't really care.
57:27
SPEAKER_01: I'm proud to set that example and show the people I mentor, like, hey, you know, as Iris John said to me years and years and years ago, you're in a relationship, Sean.
57:37
SPEAKER_01: Act like you're in a relationship.
57:40
SPEAKER_02: Yep, you know, absolutely, yeah.
57:43
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I'm pretty sure Gabby does not reciprocate that, but she also doesn't.
57:48
SPEAKER_02: Well, there's I say that there are because Gabby has to text Sean every now and again to say, hey, I'm not gonna be at this meeting due to like you know service and shit.
57:56
SPEAKER_02: I'm pretty sure she does not do that in the group thread.
57:58
SPEAKER_02: And I may have been guilty of telling her not to do that in the group thread before.
58:02
SPEAKER_02: I let's fuck Sean's rules, just do it, just text them.
58:05
SPEAKER_01: But you know what though?
58:06
SPEAKER_01: You know, I know you're joking, but in all seriousness, that's your call.
58:09
SPEAKER_01: That's fine.
58:10
SPEAKER_01: I don't you can um you can make that call as her husband and her as her partner.
58:16
SPEAKER_01: I don't want to make that call for you or her, you know what I mean?
58:19
SPEAKER_01: Um, and that's not it's not a hundred percent all the time.
58:23
SPEAKER_01: Like Grace, my Grace had a friend spend the night last night, and I had to text with the mom all day yesterday, just the mom.
58:30
SPEAKER_01: I don't even have the dad's number, I don't think.
58:32
SPEAKER_01: Like they went to pre preschool together, you know.
58:34
SPEAKER_01: So, like there obviously are situations and and but you know, we can't be so rigid with it.
58:40
SPEAKER_01: But as a general rule, I never want to put those question marks or those gray areas to my wife or to the people I mentor or to anything else.
58:48
SPEAKER_02: I don't know if we've had a podcast topic of like how do we act in relationships in sobriety before, but it's it's interesting.
58:55
SPEAKER_02: We're touching on it now and stuff, but I mean we actually touched on a lot of it, I would say.
59:00
SPEAKER_01: But um Future topics, definitely.
59:02
SPEAKER_02: Definitely, like Greg talked about like the work husband, work wife thing.
59:05
SPEAKER_02: Like that's a that's a total fucking just trap right there.
59:10
SPEAKER_02: That's a trap.
59:11
SPEAKER_01: That's not real at all, dude.
59:12
SPEAKER_01: Corey, we got some real life experiences, uh real life some people in our lives with some real life experience in that.
59:19
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no shit.
59:20
SPEAKER_02: And uh you know, yeah, I mean like I don't have girl best friends.
59:25
SPEAKER_02: Gabby doesn't have boy best friends guy best friends, like there's nothing.
59:31
SPEAKER_02: Yep.
59:31
SPEAKER_02: I agree.
59:32
SPEAKER_02: My my closest girl best friend I don't like to hang out with.
59:37
SPEAKER_02: And like I don't call her that either.
59:39
SPEAKER_02: I literally just said that for the sake of the podcast right now.
59:42
SPEAKER_02: That's not a real thing.
59:45
SPEAKER_02: The closest female I'm probably too friend-wise outside of my wife would probably be Jess, I would think.
59:54
SPEAKER_02: And like we don't hang out alone and we hardly text.
59:57
SPEAKER_02: Like, it's not you know what I mean?
59:59
SPEAKER_02: And it and it's not like all public thing.
1:00:01
SPEAKER_01: I I say that because I know you and Sarah are tight, right?
1:00:03
SPEAKER_02: Sarah Kasani, but yeah, but like that's Gabby's side, you know.
1:00:06
SPEAKER_01: Right, but that's that's to my point.
1:00:07
SPEAKER_01: Like, you're not hanging out with her by yourself or anything, and I'm neither am I with any of Catherine's friends or anything like that.
1:00:13
SPEAKER_01: I remember once, and I know we got to wrap up, but Catherine asked me to pick one of her uh one of her sponsor uh the people, the girls that she mentors up one time, and I was like, I did it, but I was so uncomfortable like the whole time.
1:00:25
SPEAKER_02: You were like, Catherine, no, she is way too hot.
1:00:27
SPEAKER_02: I can't do that.
1:00:29
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:00:30
SPEAKER_01: So as always, boys, good discussion, good topic, uh, important topic.
1:00:35
SPEAKER_01: I think the key takeaway is if you're new in recovery or you've been around a little bit and you don't have a mentor and you're trying to do this alone, the same sick mind that got you into this mess can't heal itself, right?
1:00:46
SPEAKER_01: The sick mind can't heal a sick mind.
1:00:49
SPEAKER_01: Um, if you if you if you're if you are your own mentor, your mentor is an asshole, right?
1:00:54
SPEAKER_01: That's another one.
1:00:55
SPEAKER_01: Um get one.
1:00:57
SPEAKER_01: They're invaluable.
1:00:59
SPEAKER_01: They're invaluable.
1:01:00
SPEAKER_01: So uh shout out to our listeners.
1:01:02
SPEAKER_01: Please like, follow, and share on all socials at Trud Report Pod.
1:01:05
SPEAKER_01: Email us, TrudgeReport Pod at yahoo.com.
1:01:08
SPEAKER_01: Send in your mailbag request for topics, questions, and comments to any of these handles.
1:01:13
SPEAKER_01: Remember, we are all here.
1:01:15
SPEAKER_01: If anyone wants to talk about recovery uh and our experiences, or if you're struggling with some form of addiction, thank you again to Janine and Stella Mix Podcast Management.
1:01:25
SPEAKER_01: Good night.
1:01:26
SPEAKER_01: God bless.
1:01:27
SPEAKER_01: May you trudge the road of happy destiny.
1:01:29
SPEAKER_01: See you next week.
1:01:30
SPEAKER_01: Cheers.