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Transcript

Hour 2 - If It Ain't Broke... · The Ben Maller Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: In the air everywhere. Do we do that every hour?
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: How does this work? I'm Adam Oslund, in for Big
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Ben Maller. Good to be with you guys. At Follow
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Adam A is where you can find me on X.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Adam Ashland is how he says it. Maybe my machine
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: broke during the break. Something happened to it. All I
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: know is.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: I turned it down. It's back up now.
• 0:20
  Speaker 3: Oh, look.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: Let me tell you what... Okay, so maybe I did
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: check out the Rescuers clip. Maybe. Rumor has it.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: What'd you see?
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: Big if true. Bigs if true. I saw something that
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: no children should see when they're watching a Rescuers Disney movie.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: Why are you corrupting the kids like this? Why are
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: we overly sexualizing our mice and rats or whatever they're
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: supposed to be? Anthropomorphic animal things. Yeah, I just... It
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: was wild. But they're real and they're spectacular. to exist
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: uh 877 99 on fox is the phone number as
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: promised let's get out to him he's a regular here
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: anthony in louisiana anthony uh what's up what's.
• 1:12
  Speaker 4: Up tony hey adam how you doing i know.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: I'm doing okay second hour a few more to go
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: not too bad yeah i.
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: Hear you on countdown sometime on countdown with brian uh.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: What Did you do Countdown to Kickoff with Brian?
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: Who's Brian?
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: Oh, on Countdown.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: No, that's got to be somebody else. There's only one idiot,
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: and he's right here.
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: So Adam, how was your weekend?
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: Well, I don't know. My Panthers won, and, you know,
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: the NFL is pretty exciting, and we'll get back to
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: it here in a little bit. College football, my Ducks
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: even pulled off a victory. My weekend, my sports weekend
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: in particular, is pretty good, and now I'm here filling
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: in for Ben Maler. So, actually, I'm doing as good
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: as those boobs are in Rescuers. That's how good I'm doing.
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: Hey, cuz.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: What up, Anthony? How you doing?
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: How you doing?
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: It's a good day.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: I went to a haunted hayride tonight.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: So, you had a good.
• 2:07
  Speaker 5: Weekend, Lorraine?
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: Oh, I had the best weekend.
• 2:10
  Speaker 4: What?
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: The Air Force?
• 2:10
  Speaker 4: I'm an Army guy.
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: What?
• 2:11
  Speaker 4: That's dope.
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: What about a stealth fighter?
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: What are we talking about here, an air show? What?
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: Big B-1 bomber and B-2 bomber, that's a big plane.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I love how it's flying.
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: Take off.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: I should do more research on planes. I don't know
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: much knowledge on them.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: Hey, check out a Harrier jet. It takes off like
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: a helicopter. Very cool. I used to be into planes.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: I used to be on a fighter pilot, but then
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: I was afraid of heights, so it didn't work out.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: That doesn't work out very well for you, does it?
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: The B-2 bomber was designed after a falcon diving.
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: Tell Big B and I say, hello, Adam.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: Chuck Yeager over here.
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: Hello.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: Hello.
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: Good to hear from you, Adam.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: Good to hear from you, too, Tony. Don't be a
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: stranger now.
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: And tell Ben I said hello.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: We will as soon as he gets back. He'll be
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: back tomorrow. You should call again.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: I'll say hi to Brian for you on Sundays.
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: Tomorrow's my birthday.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: Oh, it is tomorrow, isn't it?
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: Happy birthday.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: Oh, how exciting.
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you got to wish me a happy birthday on
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: the air when I listen tomorrow.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: I will.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: I will definitely wish you a happy birthday. But call
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: to remind me. Bye.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: There goes Tony. All right. Do we have any college
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: football music, you know, drum line, Nick Cannon type stuff?
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: I guess that's high school, but there's crossover there.
• 3:50
  Speaker 5: Is there?
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: There is.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: Very similar. Look. All I know is this. I'm a
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: little bit upset right now.
• 3:56
  Speaker 5: The goddamn plane has crashed into the mountain!
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: Apparently, the oversight committee, when it comes to college football,
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: they didn't hear the adage, if it ain't broke, don't
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: fix it. Because they're trying to fix a fully functioning
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: playoff system right now.
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: I can almost see Brady Quinn's slick back hair. Listen
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: to this. Let's go. I am deeply offended. by what
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: they're doing in college football, especially after the type of
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: weekend that we just went through. Of course, I had
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: to mention my Ducks there. They got a big victory
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: late over Nebraska. Could have been a disaster. Still not
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: out of the playoffs yet, quite yet. I mean, they're
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: basically eliminated, but not quite yet. They wouldn't be eliminated
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: if they expanded to 24, though. But I think the
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: 12-team playoff is working. Last year, it gave us just
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: enough teams that were deserving of a playoff. While still
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: having a little bit of controversy between Miami and Notre
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: Dame to keep us guessing when the final selections were made,
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: we saw that one of the last teams still had
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: a chance to get in. Miami got in. And they
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: almost won the entire thing. So the formula works. We
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: have actually found the sweet spot. The Goldilocks zone. I
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: want to know where the gold at. The BCS with
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: only two teams was woefully ineffective for giving us a
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: true champion. And not wondering, you know, could Auburn in 2004...
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: Could they have won the whole thing over USC? Could
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: Boise State with Chris Peterson and Kellen Moore have won
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: it all? Surely the 2001 Oregon Ducks would have put
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: up a better fight against Miami than Nebraska did. That
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: undefeated 2008 Utah team, by the way, they beat Bama
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: in the Sugar Bowl. Couldn't they have won it all?
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: If we didn't have the BCS, I just saw a
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: two-loss Miami team almost win it all last season. Like,
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: how many schools could have won the entire damn thing,
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: won a national championship, if we just had a real
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: playoff earlier? It's over 9,000! Probably not that many schools,
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: but the four-team playoff? Still inefficient. Good teams were left out.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: often leaving us with bad games. Maybe the right teams
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: weren't there. I'm looking at you, Washington and Florida State
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: and Michigan State. And my God, what was that performance
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: by TCU against Georgia? Looked worse than Hawaii against Georgia
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: in the Sugar Bowl. RIP Cole Brennan. But we remember
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: those ass whoopings in the 14 playoff. I'm sorry, we do.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: And while we still have Some blowouts here and there
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: in a 12-team playoff because we get more games. We
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: also get more chances of great games. And overall, they
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: have delivered. After years, years, I tell you, of searching
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: for the right mix. We actually have determined a championship
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: through an actual tournament in college football for once. What
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: a concept, a real playoff and one that works because
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: 12 teams looks to be just the right amount where
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: it's not too few, not too many. The regular season
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: is still relevant because any more than two wins or
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: two losses and you're out. How do I know that?
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: Because the committee wouldn't even let in Bama with their
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: three losses in 2024. Everyone thought, oh, they won't dare
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: leave out Alabama. I mean, they're too important to college football.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: But the committee showed some balls.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: I've got balls of steel.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: They stood strong. They stood on business. That's how you
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: get some order and set a precedent for how this
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: is going to work. And it gives the committee an
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: idea about the selection process and how to do it right.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: It was the first time in a long time anyone
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: actually took a stand against the SEC. But the 12-team playoff,
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: they would keep a three-loss team out. And they did.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: It was working. And I'm already nostalgic for the 12-team
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: playoff now because it looks like it's over. This is it.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: We got three years of it. And now they're throwing
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: out like yesterday's trash. You're garbage. Both the Big Ten
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: and SEC commissioners have apparently reached a handshake agreement with
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: ESPN to expand to 24 teams. And those two conferences,
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: they draw a lot of water. So everyone else, they're
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: getting in line. Forget everything I just said about the
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: selection committee actually standing up to the SEC for once. See,
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: college football always had an issue here. The problem is
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: there's never been an established system that was adequate for
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: how to determine a championship. Back in the day, we
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: had polls and voting. That's how bad it was. That's it.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: Place your vote. Who do you think? Random writer for
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: the AP was the champion this year. Then we got
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: the BCS. Then we got four teams. Now we got 12.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: There's no established tradition here. We haven't let anything set in.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: We haven't lived in it long enough to with these tournaments.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: So this playoff has grown like a blob. And the
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: one tradition that college football is establishing is, I guess,
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: there are none. It's just ever evolving. Forget the only
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: constant in life is change. The only constant in life
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: is college football. Those two words best describe change more
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: than the word change does at this point. With NIL,
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: the transfer portal, super conferences, realignment, a third playoff format
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: in a little over a decade, we're in the wild,
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: wild west of college football. Wild, wild west. But even
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: in the wild west, they had a sheriff. We had
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: some order there was some law doesn't feel like that
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: right now variety you know spice of life it's nice
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: but you also like some routine here and there some
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: repetition where creatures of habit you want to keep rivals
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: and establish new ones by consistently playing similar teams like
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: where's the tradition the next notre dame usc game is
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: until 2030. The sport is being uprooted yearly. This might
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: be the most drastic shift, though. Going from 12 teams,
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: which everyone, it's not just me, guys, everyone seems to
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: universally praise. You've hardly even heard talk from fans lately
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: about a 16-team playoff. Oh, we've got to go from
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: 12 to 16. No! No! Nor are they saying, let's
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: go back to eight or ten teams or something. We're
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: actually satisfied. It seems pretty damn fair. And fans, they're
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: hard to please. Even some Notre Dame fans last year
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: were like, you know, we should have beat Miami in
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: that head-to-head matchup. They took some accountability. When you have
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: something just right, you've got to leave it alone. Remember
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: this clip? Something about Mary. The seven minute abs here.
• 11:15
  Speaker 5: Bingo, man. Bingo.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: Seven minute abs.
• 11:18
  Speaker 5: And we guarantee just to get a workout is the
• 11:20
  Speaker 5: eight minute, folk.
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: You guarantee it?
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: How do you do that?
• 11:24
  Speaker 5: If you're not happy with the first seven minutes, we're
• 11:28
  Speaker 5: going to send you the extra minute free.
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: See, that's it.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: That's our motto. That's where we're coming from.
• 11:34
  Speaker 5: That's from A to B.
• 11:36
  Speaker 6: That's right.
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: That's good.
• 11:37
  Speaker 4: That's good.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: Unless, of course, somebody comes up with six-minute abs, then
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: you're in trouble, huh? No!
• 11:46
  Speaker 5: No, no, not six. I said seven. Nobody's coming up
• 11:50
  Speaker 5: with six. Who works out in six minutes? You won't
• 11:52
  Speaker 5: even get your heart going, not even a mouse on
• 11:55
  Speaker 5: a wheel.
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: Good point.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: Seven's the key number here. Think about it.
• 11:59
  Speaker 5: Seven elevens?
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Seven dwarfs? Seven, man, that's the number?
• 12:04
  Speaker 5: Seven chipmunks twirling on a branch, eating lots of sunflowers
• 12:08
  Speaker 5: on my uncle's ranch.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: You know that old children's tale from the sea?
• 12:13
  Speaker 5: It's like you're dreaming about gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly
• 12:17
  Speaker 5: brie time, baby.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: Step into my office.
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: Why?
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: Because you're f * * * ing fired. I wish...
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: There was some lone entity, a college football commissioner I
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: could fire. Because we're going from seven minute abs to
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: six minute abs, basically, which is just absurd. People thought
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: going from four teams to 12 teams was too much
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: of a leap, too much, too fast. Well, now we're
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: doubling that. And here's the problem. It waters down the
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: regular season, which is like a mini tournament unto itself.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: Do you know why yesterday was such a historic day
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: in college football history? It wasn't just because No. 1, No. 2, No. 5, No. 6,
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: and No. 7 went down. It's because some of those teams,
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: they really can't afford to lose much. And now definitely
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: can't afford another loss because the margins get slimmer. You
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: can't have a three-loss season and get in this 12-team playoff.
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: But a 24-team playoff? Georgia, don't worry about losing to Auburn.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: You'll be fine. Texas, so what? Who cares you lost
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: two in a row? You could lose two more games
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: maybe and still get into a 2014 playoff. These losses
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: aren't as meaningful, which makes the games mean less every weekend.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: The stakes aren't as high. There isn't as much on
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: the line. Your season isn't riding on this one game.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: This isn't a season-defining loss, Alabama. Put the cigar down,
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: Josh Heupel, because it's not that big of a win,
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: and a 2014 playoff doesn't carry the same weight. We're
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: going to be talking about in 2014 playoffs, you know
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: what we're going to be talking about? Playoff seeding and
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: positioning for most of these teams. Oh, that's a big
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: win for playoff positioning. Oh, that's a big loss for
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: seeding purposes. The difference in playing games for playoff seeding
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: versus playing games to just see if you can make
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: the playoffs at all is the difference between dating Kim
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: Kardashian and Khloe Kardashian.
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 14:20
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: I know Chloe got some work done. Probably use Kylie's doctor.
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: She looks pretty good. But I don't like the makeover
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: with this college football format. The playoff format was fine.
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: Now it diminishes the other tournament, which is always what
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: college football in the regular season was. The regular season
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: has been a de facto tournament. If you can lose
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: four games and still make the playoff, We're going to
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: know about 18 of the 24 teams that are going
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: to be in the college football playoff before the season
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: even kicks off. That's far less intriguing and interesting. You're
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: selling the soul of the regular season to the 2014
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: playoff devil. Now, you're probably thinking, the reason for all this, Adam,
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: is of course, money. Where's my money, bitch? And you're
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: right to a degree, but not in the conventional sense.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: It's not so much about money. how much more money
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: the conferences will make by the playoff itself expanding. It's
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: the money presidents and ADs will save because, listen to this,
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: I'm going to read you an excerpt out of Stuart
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: Mandel's column for The Athletic about the expanding playoff. in
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: the age of both $ 50 million rosters and $ 50 million
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: coaching buyouts, presidents and athletic directors now serve at the
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: whim of impatient boosters and overzealous politicians. They're stuck on
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: a hamster wheel of desperation, begging for donations to fund
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: a championship roster, and then begging for more to fire
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: their coach for falling short, then begging for even more
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: to give the next guy a guaranteed contract and an
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: even richer championship roster. So they've convinced themselves that if
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: twice as many schools get to make the playoffs, their
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: fan bases will stand down and they'll hand over more donations.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: This is really about colleges saving money by not having
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: to fire coaches with guaranteed money still left on their
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: deals all the time. See, a three or four loss
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: season for a lot of teams in the Big Ten
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: and SEC feels like a failure. But if you spin
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: it that, well, we still made the playoff. then there's
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: less of a demand from fan bases and boosters who
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: run this operation to fire that head coach or say
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: we need to spend even more money. It's like a
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: Jedi mind trick to convince people that you actually had
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: a successful year as long as you make the playoff,
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: even though we had to expand it to 24 for
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: you to be able to have that successful season. This
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: is ridiculous. It's to save guys like Lincoln Riley. Because
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: if he doesn't make the 12 team playoff this year,
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: he could get fired. They'll have a massive buyout to
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: pay him, USC. But if it was a 2014 playoff
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: this year, USC is likely a shoo-in. It probably saves
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: his job and then saves the university money for not
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: having to pay two coaches at once. The one you
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: fired and the one you just hired. But all of
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: this is at what cost to the children? No, to
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: the college football regular season. and the enjoyment of knowing
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: every Saturday is going to have chaos, drama, and real
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: playoff implications. Like, Oregon Duck fans, they would have been
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: coming from Phil Knight's head after they lost in Stillwater
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: to Oklahoma State. But if they could end up with
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: four losses on the season and still get in the
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: tournament because it expands to 24, that loss isn't that
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: back-breaking anymore. We went from, like, too many restrictions in
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: college football with the NCAA... in waving its iron fist
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: to now just open up the floodgates. Anything is possible
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: in college football now can change year to year from
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: one extreme to another, from too rigid to too far
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: in this evolutionary state that college football is in. We're
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: losing the plot. Most think the college football regular season
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: is the best in all of sports, but that level
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: of urgency will be gone. With a 24-team playoff. Better
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: be a damn good tournament. Make up for eating the
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: regular season that we all love. I'm disgusted. And I
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: will stay disgusted. Coming up, we'll get back to the
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: NFL in week six and those rankings. I'm Adam Oslin,
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: in for Big Ben Maller here on Fox Sports Radio.
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• 19:34
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• 19:37
  Speaker 1: Adam Ashland. Welcome back into the Ben Maller Show. I'm
• 19:42
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• 19:59
  Speaker 1: up here... Back to my NFL power rankings for week six.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: But Gunner's calling in from Minnesota, and he's a Carolina
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: Panthers fan. So I guess I got to take his call,
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: even though he's probably going to call me out. Gunner,
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: what's up?
• 20:15
  Speaker 4: Well, don't you think it's fair to jump off when
• 20:26
  Speaker 4: your team loses to the Cleveland Browns?
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: Who's yelling in the background? How many people.
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: Have to yell at me?
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: Well, tell them to be quiet. You're on Fox Sports Radio.
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: And you're yelling at me about the Panthers. I need
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: to hear this loud and clearly. Yeah, you do. We've
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: got a good team this year, and we're going to
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: go 13-4. 13-4?
• 20:53
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I did this a long time ago.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: Was mine a launch title with a concert? You know
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: what else you said a long time ago? That they
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: were going to beat the Rams in that playoff game.
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: And don't say you didn't, Gunner.
• 21:06
  Speaker 5: Oh, yeah, I did.
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: And we should have won that game.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: Oh, we should have won that game.
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: But we didn't waste enough time when we blocked that point.
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: That was a problem.
• 21:15
  Speaker 6: If we wasted enough time, we would have won that game.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: All right, Gunnar. Well, I hope I haven't wasted your time.
• 21:20
  Speaker 4: And I got one more thing.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. One more thing.
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: There's going to be a show this year with the
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: Timberwolves showing everybody up and winning the championship for.
• 21:29
  Speaker 6: The first time.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: You think with LaMelo Ball? LaMelo Ball is a championship-level play.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: It's going to be a show, but is it going
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: to be a winning show? Are they actually going to
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: win it all or just be an exciting and fun
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: and entertaining team to watch?
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: 50-plus wins and winning it all. All right. I'm saying
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: it right now.
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: Well, your name is Gunner, and LaMelo, he can relate
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: to putting him up from the outside. So good luck
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: to you guys. All right. Thanks for calling in, Gunner.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: Coming up, end of this hour. What do I have?
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: Stranger than fiction? Dave Roberts stuff? We'll get to it.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: But first, I've got to get back to the NFL.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: I've got to get back to my rankings here. I've
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: gone through the first four. The eighth best game of
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: the day, though, should probably be ranked higher, but because
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: of the teams involved and the location where it was played,
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: you'll understand this. I got the Jaguars losing to the
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: Texans on a last-second field goal in London here. Why
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: are you hating on this game, Adam? Because in order
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: to wake up in time to watch it on the
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: West Coast, would have had to get like three hours
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: of sleep.
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: No, whatever.
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: Had nothing left for this show tonight. You see, this
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: is what you do to me, Roger Goodell, with all
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: these international games, since you've already fracked the resources, I
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: guess you could say, from the NFL fan bases here
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: in America. You've drank in all the milkshakes here. You
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: got to go somewhere else. I drink your milkshake. Time
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: to find new fan oil, basically, is what's happening with
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: all the international games. Leading us to some wonky start
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: times for games, especially if you're on the best coast
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: on the West Coast. Now, I'm sorry, I thought football
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: was America's pastime. At least it is now. And it's
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: long past time that we stop making the Jaguars become
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: the first NFL team basically located in London. since uh
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: they're actually decent now give a little bit more respect
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: maybe that was okay when the jaguars were bad but
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: this team is actually pretty good and it was a
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: pretty damn good game against the texans i gotta say
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: from the highlights i saw later on after it was
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: over i don't watch euro league football either i'm not
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: waking up for soccer i'm not going to one of
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: these bars in la for bangers and mash in the
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: morning none of that's working for me all right Stop
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: with their early football games. Cam Little, you didn't have
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: the walk-off this time for the Jacksonville Jaguars. You guys
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: got walked off. Nick Sirianni wasn't there to save you, Jaguars. Nope,
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: it was the Texans. Jamie Fairburn kicking the game-winning field goal.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: And it kind of spoiled an unreal performance by Travis Hunter,
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: who caught a pass from each quarterback in the end zone,
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: and that game goes to waste. Incredible. Two-way play from
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: one of the best young players in the league. Wish
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: I could have seen it. Thanks, Roger Goodell.
• 24:45
  Speaker 5: Evening, Commissioner.
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: Seventh best game of the day as there were 12.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: Giants and Saints. You may think this is too high.
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: As high as some of those passes Jameis Winston was
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: throwing over wide receivers' heads. But you know what? Jameis
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: is entertaining at least because you don't know what you're
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: going to get. Last week, he threw for three touchdowns.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: This week, a couple of picks. Gets benched. At one point,
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: Chris Hansen on... No, no, no. I'm sorry. Not Chris Hansen, Adam.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: He's nude and thinking bad thoughts. Scott Hansen on NFL
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: Red Zone. He accidentally called Jameis Jameison. Maybe he was
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: thinking about how drunk some of Jameis' throws were.
• 25:30
  Speaker 5: Like.
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: J.J. McCarthy comes in to replace him, and then he
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: throws a pick right away. And I'm thinking J.J. in
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: the name must stand for a double Jameson or something.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: But in that fourth quarter, J.J. McCarthy, new New York Giant.
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: He had some magic in him. In just the fourth
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: quarter alone, he became the leading passer with 243 yards passing.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: And guess what else? The leading rusher for the Giants.
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: With 26 yards. All done in the fourth quarter. But
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: they came up short against the Saints still. So, 26
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: rushing yards, huh? By J.J. McCarthy. That led the team. Interesting.
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: How could that be when they have Cam Scadaboo? Well,
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: Cam Scadaboo was basically a healthy scratch for the game.
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: John Harbaugh... According to Cam, was still punishing him for
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: the fumble he had last week in the overtime cluster
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: F with the commanders that led to a tie game.
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: Harbaugh not messing around. Apparently he will sacrifice having a
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: better chance to win a game to show everyone that
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: he's boss. He will discipline and bench anyone at any time.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: What an egomaniac. You can say he's just establishing culture,
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: John Harbaugh. But the Giants have a real shot of
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: winning the NFC East, if you haven't gathered. And he
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: just didn't play one of his best players at home
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: because of a fumble the week before. Like, talk about
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: cutting off your nose to spite your face. That was
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: a winnable game at home against a very beatable New
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: Orleans Saints team. And then get this. Postgame, John Harbaugh
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: said he didn't bench Cam Scadaboo. Harbaugh said, quote, it
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: wasn't by design that he didn't carry the football.
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: That's a bunch of crap.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: He said when he was on the field, they just
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: happened to not call any run plays. They can't get
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: their story straight. What's going on? He says he's just
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: trying to figure out who the best running back is
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: on the team. That's his logic.
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: What?
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: Well, J.J. McCarthy apparently is since he rushed for 26 yards.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: Maybe you should have stuck with Skadaboo or just admitted
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: you benched him, which is what Skadaboo told the media.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: How is Cam Skadaboo not running back one? Why are
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: you not running him? Are you trying to lose games,
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: John Harbaugh? If I'm a Giants fan, I'm curious. If
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: I gambled on the Giants, I'm curious. What John Harbaugh
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: did is indefensible. He gave them a much worse chance
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: to win. Mind you, they were up 10-0. Maybe if
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: they could have been able to run the ball, Jameis
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: isn't forcing things, throwing picks, and you're not letting the
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: Saints rip off 34 straight points. Speaking of dumb coaching moves,
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: let's get to another CEO head coach in the form
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: of Mike McCarthy. Here's your sixth best game of the day.
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: It was played between the Steelers and Bucks in Tampa Bay.
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: I guess McCarthy is looking like the genius here in
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: this coaching matchup since His team was down 16-3 heading
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: into the fourth quarter just to see the Bucs force
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: themselves to walk the plank and blow it by eventually
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: losing in overtime 26-19. Yeah, they got outscored 23-3 in
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: the final 25 minutes of the game. Todd Bowles is
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: on the hot seat.
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: Why don't you have the seat right over here for me?
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: He may get fired before I get off the air. Justin,
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: you may have to check on this on Twitter. I
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: haven't been paying attention. Anybody getting fired here? Mike McDaniel?
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: Todd Bowles. The Bucs are 1-5. Yes, they lost Baker Mayfield.
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: But it's not like he was playing well anyways. Jalen
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: Daniels has actually been better outside of losing, you know,
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: two score leads at home. But he's a rookie. Who cares?
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: The justification for this game being the sixth best game
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: of the week six power rankings, though, is, well, you
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: had a comeback. You had an overtime game.
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: And.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: mike mccarthy spent his halftime in the blue tent let
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: me say that again mike mccarthy spending his halftime in
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: the blue tent is how that went i've never seen
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: a coach go into the blue tent But if any
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: coach needed to get checked for a concussion or something
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: with some of his decisions he's made over the years,
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: it's probably Mike McCarthy. Apparently he got stepped on and
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: twisted his ankle, but he's okay. I'm glad for that.
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: I just couldn't believe what I was watching. They needed
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: to go from like a two-person blue tent to an
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: eight-person tent with him in there. They need some military
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: barracks in there. He's a big boy. But they won
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: the game. Props to him. We'll get to your top five.
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: The best of the best games coming up next hour.
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: Coming up next here, though. I don't know what the
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: hell did I put on the rundown. Stranger than fiction.
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: Animals running wild. And it's starting to bother me. I'm
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: starting to get concerned. Why? Because it's happening in our
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: own backyard right here in Cali. I'm Adam Oslin, in
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: for Ben Maller here on Fox Sports Radio.
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: Fox Sports Radio has the best sports talk lineup in
• 30:57
  Speaker 3: the nation. Catch all of our shows at foxsportsradio.com. And
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: within the iHeartRadio app, search FSR to listen live.
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: Welcome back into the Ben Maller Show. I'm Adam Oslin,
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: in for Big Ben tonight at Follow Adam A. is
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: where you can find me, of course. Adam, Ashlyn. Workforce
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: challenges slowing down your business? Well, Express Employment Professionals provides
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: workspace solutions to help reduce turnover, find qualified talent, navigate compliance,
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• 31:38
  Speaker 1: Coming up next hour, and we'll finish things off with
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: my top five, I guess we can call them my
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: favorite NFL games of the day, since we are in
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: that top five location, as we're counting down from 12
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: games being played in week six here. But first... A fast.
• 31:56
  Speaker 6: Food customer defending her decision to call 911 after her
• 31:59
  Speaker 6: McDonald's ran out of McNuggets.
• 32:02
  Speaker 3: You can't give a drunk man riding a horse a
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: DWI because unlike cars, horses don't have motors.
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: They have a mind of their own.
• 32:09
  Speaker 3: A 24-year-old man accused of throwing an alligator through a
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: drive-thru window.
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: 911, what is your emergency?
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: Some of my favorite stories in this segment include wacky
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: Guinness World Records and stuff like that. In fact, Friday
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: night on the F & A Takeover of Fox Sports Radio.
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: F & A Cotton, F & A! With myself and
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: Kevin Figures, we had a guy on a skateboard that
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: set the all-time downhill record of standing up on a
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: skateboard while it was going 94 miles per hour. That
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: was a real thing that happened. You can watch the video.
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: it's scary as hell it's like watching the free solo
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: documentary with a guy scaling the mountain el capitan or
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: whatever and you know he's gonna live but uh you
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: still have a little bit of doubt especially when the
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: skateboard has to turn and he's going that fast and
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: somehow with these thrill seekers seekers and adrenaline junkies it
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: is worth it to them to do these things But
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: other things you get, you know, somebody wins the lottery
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: in a miraculous way. That's what we're talking about here
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: in Stranger Than Fiction. My favorite stories, though, typically involve animals,
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: especially when the authorities have to wrangle a wild animal.
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: And I'm not just talking about Pinky the cat mole
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: and that one guy that was just trying to get
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: everyone to adopt that cat. The old E-bombs World videos, collegehumor.com.
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: I don't know if I've seen that. Pre-YouTube, Lorena. We're
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: talking old school. Pinky the Cat? Look up Pinky the Cat.
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: The guy gets mauled. He's just trying to get somebody
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: to adopt his cat. Pinky the Cat was not supposed
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: to be that unruly. But they probably should have used
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: some of those tranquilizer darts like they've used on all
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: these big cats here in Southern California recently. Yeah, we
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: had some mountain lines, some mountain line activity. We had
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: one in Pasadena this year. We had another one in,
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: what was it? Pasadena is too close to me, first
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: of all. Santa Monica as well. This is a real problem.
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: We've had a lot of mountain line captures in domesticated areas.
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: Here in SoCal, it's getting a little bit cartoonish. Just
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: watching cops try to handle these situations they are ill-prepared for.
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: Then the wildlife or the animal control people come in
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: and they just get that tranquilizer gun going out there.
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: That's kind of fun to watch. They put it down safely. And,
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: you know, it's not always a blaster gun from Star
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: Wars sound that you hear. It's a tranquilizer dart. You
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: guys remember when the bear got hit by the tranquilizer
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: and then they put the trampoline underneath it for the
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: bear to just bounce on so it could land safely?
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: motionlessly it's legitimately hilarious seeing that massive fur just bouncing
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: around it's like snuffleupagus in the costume coming off in
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: sesame street or something it's insane well we got another
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: wild animal encounter on the loose on the streets and
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: it's not a cow or a wild horse or moose
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: it happened out here in california On Friday. California. Do
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: you know what an emu is and what an emu
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: looks like? I put it in the- They're terrifying. They
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: are terrifying. They're ugly looking. They're huge. They're big. They're
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: like six feet tall. Massive. I put it in the
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: same category as like a llama. They're kind of obscure animals.
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: Not Bigfoot obscure. Not like a cryptid, but obscure. Like
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: the people that get miniature horses- What's what good do
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: they do? And they look cool. I don't know. They
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: just look cool. It's like an emu looks like a
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: mutant roadrunner. And I don't think Wile E. Coyote would
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: want to chase one down. It's a flightless bird. It's
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: kind of the ostrich of America, I would say. Well,
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: one got loose up in Santa Cruz. And there's video
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: of it with men in uniform. chasing around an emu
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: with flashlights late at night like it's something out of
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: reno 911 it's just it's running around they're trying to
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: keep it away from traffic it looks like they were
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: able to capture it not using a taser or a
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: baton or tear gas But safely, they coerced it by
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: what I saw what looked to be breadcrumbs they were
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: throwing at it.
• 37:03
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: And the emu had game. Like, it was catching it. Like,
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: Zack Morris throwing up a grape in the air and
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: catching it and saved by the bell and looking cool
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: or something like that. Like, the emu, good hand or
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: beak eye coordination, I guess.
• 37:16
  Speaker 6: Now, Adam, did it escape from the emu petting zoo
• 37:19
  Speaker 6: that they have up there?
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: Wait, in Santa Cruz? There's such a thing?
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: I think there's an emu petting zoo, yeah.
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: What, like the California State Fair was in town?
• 37:27
  Speaker 6: Like it's a farm that they raise the emus on.
• 37:30
  Speaker 6: And yeah, I know a couple of people who have
• 37:32
  Speaker 6: gone to the petting zoo. So I'm curious if that's
• 37:35
  Speaker 6: where it is.
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: Wait, just for the emus?
• 37:36
  Speaker 6: Yeah, it's literally an only emu petting zoo.
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: No pot belly pigs at a petting zoo. Where's Charlotte's
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: Web at? Are you kidding me? That's so weak. Who
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: would go to go for the emus? They're scary.
• 37:47
  Speaker 6: And just so you know, I looked up that Pinky video.
• 37:49
  Speaker 6: Pinky did not want to be adopted.
• 37:51
  Speaker 5: What?
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: I want you to know that cat is for the streets.
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: For the streets.
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: That cat may have been a bobcat that's tail grew
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: or something like that. Yeah. That was not a house
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: cat at all.
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: Climbed him like a tree, he did.
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: And I have two cats and they will claw the
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: hell out of you. And usually they do it out
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: of fun or they think you're their mom and they're
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: trying to get milk from you or something like that.
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: This cat did not care. This cat was out for blood.
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: But emus may be too by the look in their eyes.
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: It's almost like in Jurassic Park. Remember Alan Grant describing
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: what he thought raptors would look like? It's like birds
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: more so. It's kind of like that. With an emu.
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: But apparently they're stupid enough to fall for you just
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: throwing bread at them. And then you can just corral
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: them and take them down. I actually think cops, they
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: should try this with hostage situations. Like a gunman or
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: somebody robbing a bank. Just tell them, I got some
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: Michelin star, five star meal out here. A platter, a
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: restaurant platter just waiting for you outside of the bank.
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: This does not have to end in violence. Just come
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: out with your hands up. We'll give you a box
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: of fruit roll-ups, an ice cold beer. I don't know.
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: Foodie criminals... we're all foodies at heart. Many of us are,
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: this could save lives. It doesn't just have to work
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: on an emu here, but damn it. Those emus. I
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: remember an episode of scrubs. I think it was season
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: five and they went to a house. They were trying
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: to break in for some reason.
• 39:25
  Speaker 5: I don't know.
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: They're doctors. They're not criminals, but an emu attacked him.
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: And it was like a little emu farm there and
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: i haven't forgotten about that so when i heard this
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: story i'm like oh emu's in northern california what if
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: they migrate south for the winter it's almost that time
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: here I don't need that in my life. I already
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: live next to an area infested by coyotes in Burbank, California.
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: And I mean infested. And they're pretty much domesticated at
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: this point. And they will eat your pets. And you
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: got to keep them indoors at all times because they
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: can jump over a 10-foot fence if they want to.
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: The real wily coyotes out there. That's what we need.
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: I mean, I should get a tranquilizer gun just for living.
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: in Burbank. I got possums. I got skunks just outside
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: my door because there's a cat lady next door. God
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: bless her. I love her, but she's got to feed
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: all the neighborhood cats. Well, that brings in the possums
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: and the skunks too. It's driving me mad. I'm surrounded
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: by wild animals here. I don't need to go to
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: the San Diego wild animal park. I got it at home.
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: Like this is not an issue for me, but I
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: didn't sign up for all this and definitely not signing
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: up for emu attacks. Because they look like they got
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: some talons on them. I'm out. I don't want it.
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: To quote Napoleon Dynamite, the talons, that's what will get
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: you here, I think. That's a problem.
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: Can you imagine trying to ride one of those, though?
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: How fun would that be?
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: That happened in Swiss Family Robinson, I think. Coming up next,
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: back to the NFL. I'm Adam Oz and I'm from
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: Ben Maller here on Fox Sports Radio.