Latest / Smooth Critical / C1 Ep.15: Ale Songs and Galesongs

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C1 Ep.15: Ale Songs and Galesongs · Smooth Critical

• 0:19
  Welcome back to Smooth Critical. I'm your DM, Avni.
• 0:23
  Quick question, Avni, are you OK?
• 0:25
  Avni, are you OK? Are you OK AFNI?
• 0:30
  I am buzzing with excitement right now because, Jesus,
• 0:37
  because you all cracked the code in Eric's letter with the name
• 0:41
  Gayle Song and look where you are now.
• 0:44
  Gayle Song's glasses and guest houses.
• 0:46
  Whatever will we find? But before we did.
• 0:49
  Do coincidence? I know, it's almost as if fate
• 0:53
  intervened. Or me.
• 0:55
  I'm fate, but before we dig deeper, let me introduce you to
• 1:00
  my three gorgeous gladiators. He my.
• 1:03
  Hello, it's Abe. Harry.
• 1:06
  Bontel, GAIL. Song.
• 1:08
  Yeah, and Charlie? Ready to explore this
• 1:11
  metropolis? Nice.
• 1:16
  He should be put down. He.
• 1:16
  Should be put down. He's putting in the effort.
• 1:21
  Oh yeah, I'm enjoying these. They catch me off guard every
• 1:24
  time. I realize if I try a clever one
• 1:28
  everyone just groans, but if I do a really bad one then I unify
• 1:32
  everybody against me so. It's a team building exercise.
• 1:36
  Exactly. And Harry, back to you.
• 1:38
  Bon bon Gayle song. That's your.
• 1:41
  That's your grandpa. That's my grandfather.
• 1:43
  That's Grand Pappy, Pappy Gayle Song.
• 1:45
  That's what I used to call him, except I didn't know that was
• 1:48
  his last name, so I didn't call him that.
• 1:50
  I think he. Was dead before you were born,
• 1:52
  canonically, so you. Didn't call him anything.
• 1:56
  But if I knew him and knew this information, that secret, I
• 2:00
  would call him Pappy Gale. So.
• 2:02
  Yeah, I don't think he would have liked that, just from my
• 2:05
  own image of what he would be like.
• 2:07
  But all right, make a note. Make a note.
• 2:09
  We're learning more. All right, let's start our
• 2:14
  recap. At the start of last session,
• 2:17
  Bon experienced A profound dream, meeting and communicating
• 2:21
  with this Mira for the very first time, which I think Bon
• 2:25
  really, really needed since he's been having doubts about his
• 2:28
  connection to his goddess. After debriefing Trash into on,
• 2:32
  hit a small Beachy area and with your help, drag the boat onto
• 2:35
  the sand to activate the Tensor's Floating Disk spell,
• 2:39
  shifting your journey from the lava rivers to solid land.
• 2:42
  While traveling along the Winding Rd. you finally
• 2:45
  uncovered the hidden code on Bond's letter, revealing a
• 2:48
  specific address in Emberhold that Nerx wanted him to visit.
• 2:52
  Unlocking the address was just one of the secrets in the
• 2:54
  letter, because it also revealed that Bond's mother's maiden name
• 2:58
  from long before he was born was Gayle Song, and he is somehow
• 3:02
  maybe the descendant of the halfling Gayle Songs from
• 3:06
  Johnny's Journal. Big question mark.
• 3:10
  While pondering, you were suddenly ambushed by a
• 3:12
  coordinated group of bandits attempting to drop a tree branch
• 3:15
  on y'all and loot you. It was a bizarre attack
• 3:18
  considering the wealthier merchants usually pay a premium
• 3:21
  for hired blades to keep these roots completely safe.
• 3:24
  After very quickly killing two bandits and intimidating the
• 3:27
  other two, both took all of their money and some plus one
• 3:31
  studded leather armor, and the last 20 minutes of your trip was
• 3:35
  very, very chill as you safely made it to the southwest gate of
• 3:39
  the city. Trash navigated the floating
• 3:41
  vessel to the back of a tall, narrow inn on the edge of town.
• 3:44
  Letting the boat thunk harmlessly to the ground and to
• 3:48
  on eagerly LED you to the front doors of her absolute favorite
• 3:52
  place in the city, announcing welcome to GAIL Songs, Glasses
• 3:56
  and Guest houses. And that is where we are now.
• 3:59
  So you stand on the dusty St. of the lower gate, looking up at
• 4:03
  the front of GAIL Songs, glasses and Guest Houses.
• 4:07
  The building itself is incredibly tall and noticeably
• 4:10
  crooked, leaning slightly to the right side.
• 4:12
  It's built from dark weathered wood that clearly tells the
• 4:16
  story of an old dingy past. However, you can see that in the
• 4:20
  last few years the owners must have come into some decent
• 4:23
  money. The old rotting boards have been
• 4:25
  patched up with fresh, dirtier timber, and the roof boasts
• 4:28
  brand new, clean shingles that don't quite match the rest of
• 4:32
  the building's faded facade. Hanging directly above the
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  entryway is a large wooden sign featuring a carving of three
• 4:40
  distinct drinking vessels raised together in a toast, an ale mug,
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  a slender wine goblet and a wide tankard.
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  The front entrance consists of two massive reinforced oak
• 4:50
  doors. What do you want to do?
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  I got to say, it's so it's so funny that we were just like Abe
• 4:57
  you got when you're researching the name GAIL Song, you got to
• 4:59
  be so sneaky about. It.
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  Like. We got to make like nobody can
• 5:04
  know. Bring it.
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  Up. Me as the first place we go,
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  just like just like waiting there patiently as you guys come
• 5:11
  up with these sneaky plans being like, just get to the end of the
• 5:14
  episode, we'll find it. Guys, I know we just realize
• 5:21
  that we don't need our horses and all that, but I'm feeling a
• 5:24
  little, I don't know, I'm, I feel like I'm, I'm feeling sad
• 5:28
  that we're not going to be with them anymore.
• 5:31
  I know it's only been like two or three days, but I feel like
• 5:33
  me and Alexander, as little time as we spent together, there was
• 5:36
  something there. Do you guys not feel the same
• 5:39
  about your Jets? What the heck is profound,
• 5:43
  profound revelation of GAIL Song?
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  And Abe is still concerned about his horse that is literally just
• 5:50
  at the back of the building. Yeah, I look over to trash who's
• 5:53
  like giving them all treats and clearly has much more of.
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  A connection? What is?
• 5:58
  This Yeah, it's clear that Alexander loves trash more.
• 6:02
  Sorry, I should have made you roll for it, but I.
• 6:03
  Think that's just. How it goes?
• 6:06
  The horse girl. Could be understandable.
• 6:08
  To be fair, we just kind of let them roam loose in La Grande's
• 6:12
  village, like. That is true.
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  Yeah, that's true. That's true.
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  We just love them. All right.
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  I'm I'm kind of like anxious, excited slash nervous to see
• 6:22
  what what the inside of this place is like.
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  So I'm going to start to walk towards the door.
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  Do we want to, do we want to like go in with a plan or
• 6:30
  something? Or are we just going to like be
• 6:32
  like, hey, that's an interesting name on your door.
• 6:35
  What's the story there? Ha ha.
• 6:36
  Well. I don't know, I feel like maybe
• 6:38
  this is just a common name. Maybe I yeah, I mean, maybe we
• 6:44
  should. Maybe we should go inside and
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  find out. Yeah, let's go in and we can
• 6:49
  figure out from there. Awesome, yeah.
• 6:51
  Yeah, great, great, great. OK.
• 6:55
  Actually, can we make a couple of stops for it and I'm just.
• 6:58
  Kidding. I really think we should go look
• 7:00
  it up the name in the library first.
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  We got to go to a haberdashery and a glove store and.
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  Lots of things on the list. So you guys kind of step over
• 7:11
  this very nice, clean welcome mat, and as you get close to the
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  door you hear the muffled, lively sounds of a crowded tap
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  room. You hear the clinking of heavy
• 7:20
  clay mugs, rowdy laughter, and the stomping of boots and warm
• 7:24
  light spills out from beneath the door frame.
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  Bon. You push open the heavy oak
• 7:30
  door. I push it like way too hard.
• 7:33
  Yeah, it just give me a give me a strength check real quick.
• 7:40
  Oh, that's a Nat one. Okay, okay, so actually you
• 7:43
  can't even open this door. You go in with all this
• 7:46
  confidence, you're so nervous, you're like.
• 7:48
  My palms are. Sweating got this.
• 7:50
  I got this. It's a pole.
• 7:52
  It's a pole too. You hit.
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  The store would be a fire hazard.
• 7:57
  You do one of those things where your arm just collapses and your
• 7:59
  face hits the door. You hit the part of the door
• 8:02
  where the hinges are so there's absolutely no momentum and you
• 8:05
  just kind of slam into it and back up and Tan is like Bon,
• 8:10
  have you ever eaten the door before?
• 8:12
  I will help you. And she lambs opened the door
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  and you're instantly hit with the warmth of the hearth and the
• 8:20
  smell of strong roasted onions. And Tahan gives a big stretch as
• 8:26
  she walks in and heads straight for the counter.
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  Gods, I love this place. First rounds on us boys.
• 8:34
  And she and Trish head to the bar.
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  So I assume you guys kind of take a quick gander around the
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  room and a few distinct groups stand out in a corner booth.
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  A small huddle of human merchants are hunched over a map
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  and a grease stained Ledger. They look exhausted, they're
• 8:55
  canvas clothes dusted with ash, and they're aggressively arguing
• 8:58
  in hushed, gritty voices about rising toll fees along the lava
• 9:02
  tributaries and which river locks are currently closed.
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  So they seem to be mapping things out.
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  In a darker, secluded booth near the back, an elegant elf and a
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  massive Crimson scale dragonborn sit tucked away from the noise.
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  They contrast sharply with the rest of the Tavern.
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  Their heads are very close together as they whisper, their
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  voices dropping to barely an audible murmur.
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  Then, over at a large round table is a chaotic and
• 9:29
  incredibly loud dice game. A wood elf, a drowl, A scarred,
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  a orc, and a feathered kenku are crowded around the felt surface.
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  They're throwing bone dice into a wooden bowl.
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  The orc slams his first down on the table, making the glasses
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  rattle as he loses A wager, and the drowl laughs sharply as they
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  sweep the pile of copper coins towards their chest.
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  The Kenku perfectly mimics the laugh, drawing a chorus of rowdy
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  cheers and curses from onlookers.
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  And finally you look over at the bar and see two burly dwarfs and
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  a stout halfling having climbed directly on the polished wooden
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  countertop, red faced and completely unbothered by the bar
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  keeps clear. They are swaying arm in arm,
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  banging their empty clay mugs against the wood as they bellow
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  out a rowdy off key sea shanty about surviving the boiling
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  waves and sulfur vents of the smoldering sea.
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  The shoremen watch the boiling waves from safety of the land,
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  but there's coin down in the trenches, boy, so lend A
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  calloused hand. The water runs as blackest pitch
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  and harder than the sun, so grab the oar and hold your breath.
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  The crossing has begun. Heave her up and pull her
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  through. The smouldering sea is wide.
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  Watch the vents and brace the wheel.
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  We're riding with the tide. The water's boiling at the bow.
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  The sulphur burns the throat. But if a attraction keeps the
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  wood, we'll keep this bitch afloat.
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  The dragonborn cries. Boiling waves were going to melt
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  today, the captain spat into the soup and laugh the fear away.
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  I'd rather burn an ember hold and starve upon the shore.
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  So we heave the oars and held the line, and then we heave some
• 11:09
  more, heave her up and pull her through.
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  The smoldering sea is wide. Watch the vents.
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  Embrace the wheel. We're riding with the tide.
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  The water's boiling at the bow. The sulfur burns the throat.
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  But if a strike keeps, the wood will keep this bitch afloat.
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  And they slammed their mugs down on the counter with the
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  deafening thud. And the halfling, absolutely
• 11:30
  riding the high of the performance, tries to take a
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  theatrical bow on the slippery surface and loses distraction
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  and goes flying backwards. With a loud yell he hits
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  directly into a large orc deckhand that was minding his
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  own business eating mutton at a bar.
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  The orcs face goes face first into the bowl of hot gravy.
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  He stands up absolutely livid, dripping with grease spins
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  around. To retaliate he swings a massive
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  fist. The halfling by the halfling
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  ducks and the orcs fish strikes a nearby human river captain.
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  The river captain stumbles backwards from the blow,
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  completely losing his balance, and crashes his full weight
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  right into Abe, shoving him hard against the floor.
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  Oh. Sorry, sorry about are you OK?
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  I kind of stop. What did you do?
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  And he shoves you again. What did you do?
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  Hitting me. I didn't shove you, you fell
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  into me. No, you shoved into me.
• 12:29
  He puts his fists on. Come on, boy.
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  I'm not doing this and I just kind of like I keep an eye on
• 12:34
  him as I start to ignore him and.
• 12:37
  Kind of. So you trying to move away, you
• 12:39
  turn around and he attempts to make a punch at you all.
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  Right, I did say keep my eye on him just in case of this because
• 12:46
  I wanted to deflect. He rolls a gnat 20.
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  He lunges towards you to hit you.
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  Can I still deflect A gnat 20? You go to deflect the attack and
• 12:59
  all of a sudden you you can't control your body your your monk
• 13:03
  powers that let you kind of sidestep these attacks that give
• 13:06
  you that agility no longer work. And as you try to deflect, you
• 13:11
  get socked in the face for three damage.
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  And the Tavern erupts into a classic rowdy scuffle as people
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  start going, he got hit, it's time to fight.
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  And they start picking up chairs and bashing each other over the
• 13:26
  head. Well.
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  OK. But bon, as everyone starts
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  getting into this fight, your eyes are inexplicably drawn away
• 13:38
  from the brawl and up towards a space above the bar counter.
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  Hanging there is a large portrait of a regal drow woman
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  in dark blue robes and a man next to her.
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  A little halfling man next to her and they are clasping hands,
• 13:54
  and the moment your eyes lock onto the drow woman, the silver
• 13:57
  pocket watch on your hand suddenly flares with this
• 14:01
  intense burning heat and for a split second the roaring sound
• 14:05
  of the Tavern is completely cut to a dead silence in your ears.
• 14:09
  Your vision blurs and you feel this overwhelming, dizzying tug
• 14:13
  in your chest, like the painting is staring back at you and
• 14:16
  you're completely paralyzed by it.
• 14:18
  You are completely entranced by this portrait.
• 14:20
  While the fists have started flying.
• 14:22
  Everyone roll me initiative but Bond give me initiative with
• 14:26
  disadvantage. Wow, that's a four for me. 21.
• 14:31
  Also 21. Real life, he, Maya, is tired of
• 14:34
  the fighting. But we'll see what he does.
• 14:39
  Which one of you has a higher DEX I guess versus Abe?
• 14:44
  I have a + 4. You have a higher dex.
• 14:47
  OK, so Abe, you just got socked in the face by this weather
• 14:52
  beaten river Captain, I told you, crash right into you.
• 14:55
  I didn't touch you, you fell into me.
• 14:59
  Put her up, I said. I said put her up or I'm going
• 15:01
  to sock you right in the face again all.
• 15:03
  Right, I'm going to. Are my monk abilities all gone?
• 15:07
  Is that? Give me an insight check on
• 15:10
  yourself, OK? I didn't know if that was a Nat
• 15:13
  twenty thing or if that, but we're about to find out that is
• 15:16
  a 16, so that is a 22 on insight.
• 15:20
  On a 22 Insight, you kind of raise your fists, get ready to
• 15:24
  defend yourself, and you feel powerless.
• 15:28
  Your hands feel hollow on the inside.
• 15:32
  You look down and your staff isn't even on your back anymore.
• 15:35
  It's completely vanished, slipped right out of your sight
• 15:38
  and spiritually you realize you don't even know how to activate
• 15:42
  your arms. You don't know how to use key
• 15:44
  points. You feel just like the guy you
• 15:47
  were before you got into this whole mess.
• 15:50
  You. Just feel like back when you
• 15:51
  were like spider man 2. It's this.
• 15:56
  I feel like this is the second time you said those exact words.
• 16:00
  I don't know life. It's it's Toby, it's Spider Man.
• 16:03
  I'm pretty sure it's Kung Fu Panda.
• 16:05
  For just the third time that he might, as mentioned, Tobey
• 16:07
  Maguire's Spider Man. Yeah.
• 16:09
  Probably, yeah. But you are like completely like
• 16:13
  you feel back, like before you even summoned Bun to you when
• 16:15
  you were just like a young dude, Just like completely powerless.
• 16:18
  You're just a guy. I just like poet.
• 16:21
  The beginning of Kung Fu Panda. Paul was never just a guy.
• 16:25
  He was always that guy, Dragon. Warriors who believes Charlie?
• 16:28
  Yeah, but he had to get to a point where he could believe in,
• 16:30
  you know what, you know, a whole different podcast.
• 16:35
  So this is our other podcast. Join us next week for our Kung
• 16:39
  Fu podcast. So Abe, as as you're looking
• 16:44
  down at your hands, kind of like in disbelief from across the
• 16:47
  room to on ducks over a flying clay mug and laughs.
• 16:51
  Oh, forgot to mention we praise the Gale song blessing.
• 16:55
  No weapons, no magic in here, just good old fashioned fists.
• 16:59
  Ha all. Right.
• 17:00
  So for your action, Abe, you can throw a standard punch.
• 17:04
  Everyone is kind of stuck doing an unarmed strike, grappling,
• 17:07
  shoveling each other. You can pick up an item and hit
• 17:09
  someone, but that's all you can do.
• 17:12
  As Ta'an says that though that that does, a smile comes to my
• 17:15
  face because I'm a little relieved for a second there it,
• 17:19
  I don't know, the connection to my power was gone and I was
• 17:22
  terrified that something fundamentally totally with me.
• 17:25
  But we're good. We're chilling.
• 17:28
  It's a 14, so that will be 20. So your bonus to your role now
• 17:35
  equals your strength modifier plus proficiency.
• 17:38
  So whatever you roll in the die plus strength plus proficiency
• 17:41
  and 18 still hits. On a hit, it takes damage equal
• 17:44
  to 1 plus your strength modifier.
• 17:46
  OK, can I still use my extra attack?
• 17:49
  You can do yeah cuz you're level 5.
• 17:51
  You can still do your two attacks, but no key point
• 17:53
  spendages. Got it.
• 17:54
  Yeah, I won't do Flurry Blows 16.
• 17:58
  A 16 hits. This is just a riverboat captain
• 18:01
  who's drunk off his ass. Come on, hit me, boy.
• 18:04
  And you said it's damage is equal to strength plus my?
• 18:08
  Strength modifier plus one. Plus my normal damage die.
• 18:11
  No, just one plus your strength modifier.
• 18:13
  Oh, OK, OK, OK, yeah, so I'm just gonna punch him once, punch
• 18:16
  him twice, right hook, left hook, None of it looks very
• 18:20
  pretty right now. So that's just two damage and
• 18:22
  then two damage, so forth. Yeah, you punch him in the face,
• 18:25
  he starts bleeding from his nose and he reaches over backwards,
• 18:29
  grabs another ale of mug and starts for his action.
• 18:32
  Just chugs the gloves glass of. Ale, Oh my God.
• 18:36
  All right Bo, on your turn you look over and see this scruffy,
• 18:40
  scruffy halfling deckhand from the singing trio leaps onto a
• 18:44
  nearby table to look you kind of dead in the eyes.
• 18:47
  And he is absolutely plastered. He's missing the front tooth and
• 18:51
  he's wielding 1/2 eaten sausage like a club and he shouts.
• 18:56
  Nobody misses with the crew of the Sun Spit and He.
• 19:01
  You get that thing away from me. He he goes to swing it at your
• 19:05
  face, but you react, act first. Did I notice a or did I hear
• 19:10
  that there was like no magic in here?
• 19:12
  Do I get the feeling that I can't use magic right now?
• 19:15
  So yeah, as you hear to on shout that and you kind of reach
• 19:19
  inside of yourself for that kind of familiar arcane spark to cast
• 19:24
  a spell or or use any sort of feature.
• 19:26
  But like the magic inside of your soul feels like it has been
• 19:29
  like shut behind some sort of like iron wall.
• 19:32
  You can't even spark like a basic cantrip.
• 19:34
  Your connection is just cut off and you go and reach for your
• 19:37
  daggers. They're not there at all.
• 19:39
  Interesting. I look around to see if there
• 19:41
  are any worthy weapons to face my foe.
• 19:45
  Any other items of food nearby? A corn dog maybe?
• 19:50
  You. Yeah, this is a bar.
• 19:51
  Pick up whatever you want. Let's let's say a corn dog.
• 19:53
  Then I I grabbed the nearest half eaten corn dog, little bits
• 19:57
  of BBQ sauce and and mustard still flying off of it and I
• 20:02
  strike a strike a fencing pose and and say I'm God.
• 20:07
  And. I will.
• 20:09
  That's a + 5 corn dog. Every corn dog's a + 5 corn dog
• 20:14
  in my book. So your attack role is AD 20
• 20:19
  plus strength modifier plus proficiency bonus.
• 20:22
  You have proficiency with this corn dog.
• 20:24
  You use Dexterity. It's a stab, it's finesse.
• 20:27
  It's a finesse weapon. Yes, it is a finesse weapon.
• 20:30
  You can use Dexterity to stab the corn dog.
• 20:34
  I was going to say because how much strength can I really put
• 20:36
  behind a corn dog anyway? That's so true.
• 20:38
  You're so right. The thing is crushing the moment
• 20:41
  you stabbed. OK, so that's an 8.
• 20:43
  Does that hit? An 8 does not hit you.
• 20:45
  You go to slash with the corn dog and the halfling goes to you
• 20:52
  think you're going to hit him but he slips on the beer I think
• 20:55
  and just crashes down right onto the floor.
• 20:59
  He takes one point of damage from just falling.
• 21:01
  Awesome then I'm going to as a bonus action I will dodge so I
• 21:08
  can do that as a rogue and my dodge action.
• 21:10
  You cannot dodge as a rogue right now.
• 21:13
  All your special. You can't use any abilities.
• 21:16
  All your abilities, you are just a guy right now.
• 21:19
  But Bo, you realize that your hat is still working.
• 21:25
  You still look like a human man. You don't look like how you look
• 21:31
  like in your robot form. That's super weird.
• 21:34
  If I noticed that, can I use my bonus action to look around and
• 21:38
  see if anybody's looking at me right now?
• 21:40
  OK, yeah, give me a bonus action.
• 21:43
  Look around. Roll the look around.
• 21:46
  Roll. The look.
• 21:47
  Around. Is that a perception check?
• 21:50
  Yeah, that's exactly what I meant.
• 21:51
  Roll. For Spidey sense spider man.
• 21:57
  Welcome to our podcast Kung Fu Pandemonium.
• 22:00
  Oh my. God.
• 22:04
  Yeah, so I use the Dragon Warrior Powers 13 for my
• 22:08
  perception check. No one is looking at you except
• 22:12
  the little halfling that's trying to attack you.
• 22:15
  No one seems to give you any mind.
• 22:17
  OK, interesting. All right, so the halfling is
• 22:20
  going to go and he's going to try to punch your ankles out.
• 22:26
  Fuels A12, which I assume does not hit.
• 22:29
  Everyone still has their armor on and everything, so clothes
• 22:32
  and everything are fine. So 12 does not hit.
• 22:35
  He tries to punch your ankle, he slips again and he's just
• 22:38
  sitting on his ass burping on the ground right now.
• 22:41
  Hey, me too buddy. All right, Bon, standing over
• 22:45
  you is this cowering smug or laborer?
• 22:49
  And she cracks her massive knuckles and steps into your
• 22:53
  path. And she sees you, admits the
• 22:55
  chaos last and says, hey, you look too pretty to be in the
• 22:59
  lower gate, my friend. Let's see how you look with a
• 23:03
  black eye. And she moves in, swinging her
• 23:07
  massive scarred fist at you. That is a 16.
• 23:14
  Does the 16 hit? 16 does hit.
• 23:16
  OK, you take five points of bludgeoning damage as she goes
• 23:22
  forward and just punches you right in the stomach, and you
• 23:25
  get the breath knocked out of you for a second.
• 23:29
  Bond, can you give me an insight check?
• 23:31
  Sure, that is going to be a 22. You heard what Tahan shouted.
• 23:37
  You kind of got a SEC to look around that it's a Abe and bow
• 23:42
  using a corn dog and their fists to fight everyone else and your
• 23:47
  axe and other weapons have also disappeared.
• 23:50
  But bond you look down at your hands and and you don't feel
• 23:54
  empty at all. You In fact, the silver pocket
• 23:58
  watch on your hand is still pulsing with a strange depth and
• 24:01
  this warm rhythm against your skin.
• 24:04
  And you realize when you reach deep inside of yourself, your
• 24:06
  magic is untouched. You feel the weave flowing
• 24:09
  perfectly through your veins. I was wondering about this.
• 24:14
  Yeah, you should just use Radiance of the Dawn to like
• 24:16
  blow a couple of people's head toe.
• 24:18
  Kill everyone in this bar fight. Of course.
• 24:25
  Is it my turn? It is your turn.
• 24:27
  I was kind of wondering this already, whether or not my sort
• 24:29
  of like cleric powers would still function here just because
• 24:32
  of the like the situation. So I am going to cast, I'm just
• 24:40
  going to cast a blindness, deafness on this person who's
• 24:44
  attacking me. This giant orc woman.
• 24:47
  So I'm going to I'm going to make her blinded for the
• 24:51
  duration of the spell. She's got to oh fuck, is con
• 24:54
  saving throw all right, She's going to make a con saving
• 24:56
  throw. Let's see what she let's see
• 24:58
  what she does. It's ADC 15.
• 25:01
  That is a four on the die. She fails.
• 25:04
  All right, so she is going to be blind now and gets to repeat the
• 25:09
  save at the end of each of her turns.
• 25:12
  And then I'm just going to kind of walk a little bit further
• 25:16
  from her and keep staring up at this painting on on the roof.
• 25:23
  On the, on the, on the, on the wall.
• 25:25
  Yeah, sorry, on the mantle, yeah.
• 25:27
  On the roof is crazy, yeah. Sistine Chapel in here anyway.
• 25:35
  So you cast blindness on her and she starts to shout I'm blind,
• 25:42
  I'm blind, I'm blind. Her voice goes up like 3 octaves
• 25:46
  from where she was and she is shaking.
• 25:48
  She goes magic. So someone in here has has has
• 25:52
  magic and you see. Who's got magic?
• 25:56
  Give me a deception role right now.
• 25:59
  Does I'm assuming my bardic inspiration has gone away?
• 26:07
  Yeah, your bardic has disappeared right now, all.
• 26:09
  Right, Deception. It's gonna be an 8, but I think
• 26:14
  I think I might use my heroic inspiration on this one.
• 26:18
  No heroic inspiration, you're just a guy.
• 26:20
  Oh, fuck. All right, all right, then.
• 26:22
  That's it. All right, that's an 8.
• 26:24
  As that happens, you see that this wood elf looks over at you,
• 26:32
  seems to be the only one who's even listening to this
• 26:34
  conversation, and kind of narrows their eyes at you.
• 26:39
  Is that the wood elf that was with the Dragonborn?
• 26:41
  This is the This is the wood Elf that was playing the dice game.
• 26:48
  Interesting. OK, Yeah.
• 26:49
  It was a high elf that was with the dragon form.
• 26:51
  This is just a wood elf that was playing the the dice game.
• 26:55
  OK top of the round is Abe and the the riverboat captain.
• 27:02
  Abe, you can go first. Yeah, I mean, when we walked in
• 27:05
  here and you gave us a description, I originally was
• 27:08
  going to have Bunty go try to listen to the conversation that
• 27:12
  the High elf and the Dragonborn were having in the corner and
• 27:15
  relay that because they seemed the most suspicious.
• 27:18
  Where is Bunty? Is he?
• 27:19
  Is he on my shoulder? Is he still here?
• 27:21
  Like has he disappeared? Give me a perception check.
• 27:24
  Yeah, my guy's all magic. Yeah.
• 27:28
  That's really bad. That's a 15.
• 27:32
  It's not that. Bad.
• 27:33
  That's not that bad. So you look around for Bunty and
• 27:37
  you do not see him for a second. You think maybe he's lost in the
• 27:39
  scuffle. Maybe.
• 27:40
  You know he likes to go off and bite people, right?
• 27:42
  Who who knows what he's up to, but you don't.
• 27:45
  See his speed? Yeah, this is, this is like
• 27:48
  Bunty, like fodder. He would have loved this shit.
• 27:51
  But Bunty, you do not see him at all.
• 27:54
  And all of a sudden you hear voicing in your head, right?
• 27:56
  The only magic right now is this voice in your head and you hear.
• 28:00
  Where's my body? Where's my body?
• 28:05
  Bunty, what do you mean? Where's your body?
• 28:07
  Where's? My body, Bunty.
• 28:10
  I don't feel anything. You don't sound well.
• 28:13
  Is this death? No, I don't.
• 28:15
  Oh my God. I completely turn away from the
• 28:18
  the the riverboat captain guy and I'm just like starting to
• 28:23
  put my hands on and I'm like, Bunty, where are you?
• 28:25
  And I'm starting trying to move through the crowd looking for
• 28:28
  him. As as you move away, the
• 28:30
  riverboat captain goes, he goes put him up, I said put him up
• 28:34
  right now and he goes to grapple you.
• 28:42
  He rose A2 on the die. He completely misses, lunges
• 28:45
  forward to grab you, slips on the ground, bangs his head on
• 28:48
  the floor and knocks himself out.
• 28:50
  Yeah, I don't notice. Yeah, you are completely back
• 28:53
  turned to him and you're looking for Bunty and Bunty, he's going
• 28:56
  Abe. Do I exist only as consciousness
• 29:00
  right now? Am I just thoughts in your head?
• 29:04
  Do I really exist? If a tree falls in the forest
• 29:07
  and no one hears it, did it really make a noise?
• 29:10
  That's not how. I don't think you're using that
• 29:12
  example in the right context, Bunty.
• 29:14
  I think I think that's literally it.
• 29:16
  But Bunty shits on the carpet. You hear a shit in your head?
• 29:20
  Oh God, I was. So wet.
• 29:24
  Inside of my head. Sorry, can.
• 29:25
  You smell it too. Yeah, you can.
• 29:28
  You can sense all of it right now.
• 29:30
  It's. Fighting 2 battles right now.
• 29:32
  I clutched my head and fall to the wall.
• 29:37
  Bo, it's your turn right now. That little halfling is on the
• 29:41
  ground right now attempting to or he attempted to punch your
• 29:44
  legs and is now sitting like on the ground hiccuping with a half
• 29:48
  eaten sausage. And it's just like burping and
• 29:50
  hiccuping. I'm.
• 29:52
  Going to try something here. If this doesn't work, that's
• 29:54
  fine. So I don't, I don't want to
• 29:56
  attack him. I want to get say get a hold of
• 29:59
  yourself, man. And then I'm going to pick him
• 30:01
  up by the collar and like bring him to his feet.
• 30:03
  And then I'm going to wave the, the corn dog in his face.
• 30:06
  And I say we are, we are brothers of the bar food
• 30:08
  armaments. We must stick together.
• 30:11
  And I kind of like face him outward and I'm going to like
• 30:14
  try to, I don't know, team up with him or something.
• 30:18
  Give me a persuasion check with advantage since you put bar food
• 30:21
  in his face. I rolled 2 eights but that'll be
• 30:29
  14. You give me a bite of that corn
• 30:32
  dog. Please just give me a little
• 30:34
  bite. Let.
• 30:34
  Him have a bite of the corn dog, sure.
• 30:36
  He shoves all of it in his mouth in one big bite and goes, thank
• 30:41
  you for a little bit. Thank you for a little bit.
• 30:43
  Yeah, I take. It a little bit I pull out the
• 30:45
  broken end of the stick. He's cute this and he's gnawed
• 30:49
  the stick completely. He doesn't even notice.
• 30:52
  Thank you for a little bit I'm. Just kind of, I shrug and I just
• 30:55
  kind of push him towards somebody else that he can fight
• 30:57
  them, and then I guess I'll start fighting the sea captain.
• 31:01
  The sea captain's knocked out on the captain.
• 31:04
  He knocked himself out on the ground when he attempted to
• 31:06
  tackle Abe. Then I will hold him up by the
• 31:09
  collar and pretend that I'm fighting him.
• 31:12
  Great. You do a full little fight, Bon.
• 31:15
  It is now your turn. The orc woman that was you were
• 31:18
  fighting, you see her just swinging aimlessly right now and
• 31:21
  you've kind of backed up and you're staring at the painting.
• 31:25
  Do you want to give me any sort of investigation check into this
• 31:30
  painting at all? Yeah, I would love to.
• 31:32
  And at the end of her turn she gets to repeat the save so.
• 31:36
  Awesome. I'll do that right now.
• 31:38
  OK, she she fails, she fails again.
• 31:40
  There's ain't no way. OK, excellent.
• 31:42
  Give me an investigation and an arcana if you go look at.
• 31:45
  That All right. So I'll start with
• 31:46
  investigation. Investigation is going to be a
• 31:48
  18. Arcana is going to be 14.
• 31:54
  With an 18 in investigation you look over and this painting
• 32:00
  looks old as fuck. Like this painting looks dirty,
• 32:06
  disgusting weather be in you can tell that there's some tearing
• 32:10
  in some places so whoever kind of hung this up tried to put it
• 32:14
  in like a smaller frame to kind of hide the frayed edges along
• 32:18
  the side of it. The colors are like you can tell
• 32:22
  she's wearing a dark blue robe, but at some point maybe it was a
• 32:25
  different shade of blue, like everything is just weathered and
• 32:29
  colored the wrong way. And she's holding hands with
• 32:32
  that halfling and she's looking very stoic, but he's looking at
• 32:35
  her with like all this love in his heart right at her.
• 32:39
  This very this very kind looking halfling man.
• 32:43
  And with an Arcana check, you can tell that whatever happens
• 32:48
  to the weapons and to the magic in this place is because of this
• 32:52
  painting. Somehow this painting is
• 32:55
  emitting some sort of force around this bar so that the
• 32:59
  weapons disappear, no one knows where they go, and magic
• 33:03
  shouldn't work. Wow.
• 33:05
  OK, And that's what you get on your turn.
• 33:08
  Cool. As this happens, there's a
• 33:10
  massive deafening sound echoing through the tap room.
• 33:13
  Bam bam bam. You all look over at the bar and
• 33:18
  the half elf bartender is slamming a massive wooden keg
• 33:21
  mallet kind of on the countertop and she leaves like this dent in
• 33:25
  the wood as she smashes it and the entire room all of a sudden
• 33:28
  goes dead silent Bow. You're pretending to punch the
• 33:31
  person in the face as everyone slows down and goes silent.
• 33:36
  You hold him up and then you kind of release him slowly to
• 33:39
  the floor and look over here at the bartender.
• 33:42
  And the bartender glares across the tap room and she points to
• 33:47
  the crowd and goes. All right, you ash brained
• 33:51
  idiots, that's enough. Sit your asses down now.
• 33:54
  Free. Round of Premium Forge Blood
• 33:57
  Stout to anyone who stops fighting right now if you.
• 34:00
  Throw another punch. You're banned for a month and
• 34:03
  you can sleep outside with the magma methods.
• 34:05
  Choose wisely and instantly the fight kind of evaporates.
• 34:10
  Everyone kind of goes back to. Sitting where they were silently
• 34:14
  and waits eagerly for her to pour them some beer.
• 34:17
  What is what does this bartender look like?
• 34:19
  Did you say? She's just this very large half
• 34:23
  elf woman, so half elves and elves in general.
• 34:27
  Very slight, very slim for the most part, even half elves.
• 34:30
  More elegant looking. She looks like maybe she got
• 34:33
  more of like the human side of things where she's more burly,
• 34:36
  muscles rippling down, and she looks like she's incredibly
• 34:42
  dirty. She's like covered in food,
• 34:44
  grease, beer. But she looks besides the the
• 34:48
  yelling at everyone, she looks generally happy to be here.
• 34:51
  I'm going to, I'm going to turn off blindness, deafness also.
• 34:53
  Yeah, great. The orc woman finally is able to
• 34:58
  see again, and she she stares at you and she runs over to the
• 35:04
  wood elf that noticed you, who was playing the Bones game, and
• 35:07
  starts whispering something in their ear.
• 35:10
  Ta'an walks over, kind of wiping a bit of grime off her knuckles
• 35:15
  and laughing her head. She goes, oh man, guys, wasn't
• 35:19
  that so fun? Sorry, I maybe should have given
• 35:21
  you a warning about what was happening.
• 35:23
  But listen, every time you enter the bar there's something
• 35:25
  happening and oh fuck, I love a good bar fight, am I right?
• 35:31
  Did she already have like an ale during the fight?
• 35:33
  Yeah, she had downed like 2 that were just left on a like
• 35:36
  unattended on a table. And she goes, oh shit, I was
• 35:40
  supposed to give you some some ale.
• 35:42
  I got sidetracked. Oh, grab a table, grab a table.
• 35:46
  I'll go up to reen the bartender here.
• 35:48
  She actually owns the place. She's great.
• 35:50
  She's great. She'll get us more beer.
• 35:52
  And then we'll have if I give you a free round and she gives
• 35:55
  us a free round, that's a lot of free beer for you guys.
• 35:58
  You better take advantage of this nice place to hang out, am
• 36:02
  I right? And she walks back over to the
• 36:04
  bar. I'd peel myself off the wall
• 36:07
  that I was like head slumped against when Bunty was in my
• 36:10
  head, and I'm going to quickly walk over to the two of you and
• 36:14
  be like, guys, where is Bunty? I I don't know.
• 36:18
  I, I kind of feel like I know what's going on based on that
• 36:23
  insight check a little bit. I think, I think that painting
• 36:27
  up there is causing some sort of like warding spell to prevent
• 36:31
  like magic from and, and weapons and things like that from being
• 36:35
  involved in fights here so that it's, it's a little bit of a
• 36:38
  safer place. And I guess maybe Bunty got
• 36:42
  caught up in that, but I don't know.
• 36:45
  Did he come in with us? Yeah.
• 36:47
  Yeah, he said foot. Oh, he can't.
• 36:49
  He can't hear me. Bon, Bon.
• 36:51
  I hear you, Bon. I stepped foot.
• 36:53
  Stop please. You're being really loud in my.
• 36:55
  Head right now, but hey. Repeat what I say.
• 36:58
  Repeat what I say. Repeat what I say, Bon.
• 37:01
  OK, I'm going to try to do his voice so you can get it.
• 37:04
  Bon. He's saying Bon.
• 37:06
  Oh, is he talking? Yeah, he's in my head, OK.
• 37:09
  You look really sexy today. No, Bunty, I'm not saying that.
• 37:14
  Hey, do you want my message to come through?
• 37:16
  He needs to understand where I'm coming from.
• 37:18
  Bun, he said. You're looking very sexy today.
• 37:23
  I'm pure magic and therefore it seems like I poof, disappeared.
• 37:29
  He said I am pure magic and therefore poof, I disappeared.
• 37:35
  Can you hear me, Bunty? Yeah, of course, baby.
• 37:40
  Yeah, of course, baby. Both sits there patiently and
• 37:48
  does he say anything else? Bunty, are you okay?
• 37:54
  I don't know if I can. Keep doing this.
• 37:56
  It's OK. It's just one more, one more
• 37:59
  one. More.
• 37:59
  Hold on, hold on. I mean, OK, Bunty mentioned
• 38:01
  that. Bunty mentioned that Bond was
• 38:03
  was very sexy today. Did he say anything else?
• 38:06
  Oh yeah, of course. But you looking scrumdily
• 38:11
  amishes baby bunty, Abe. Say it, Abe.
• 38:16
  Say it, Abe. He said something like, oh,
• 38:19
  you're looking scrumdedly umptious, baby, oh.
• 38:23
  Thanks Bunty. Yeah, of course.
• 38:24
  I love you. Bunty, Bunty, are you OK?
• 38:26
  Is everything like, do you feel good?
• 38:29
  Are you hurt? I mean, yeah, I don't have.
• 38:31
  Any and we can just assume that Abe is repeating it, yeah.
• 38:37
  The bit's going to go on too long otherwise.
• 38:41
  Yeah, I feel good. I mean, like, I feel also like I
• 38:44
  don't have a body or anything. I'm just a voice and I can see
• 38:48
  it through Abe's eyes. I can't really feel anything,
• 38:51
  but I'd be watching, lurking, creeping.
• 38:55
  Of me, I want to can I look at the painting and see like, how
• 39:00
  can I make out the face of either of the people in the
• 39:02
  painting? Yes, it is.
• 39:04
  It is clear enough that you can tell like that is a drow woman
• 39:07
  that is a halfling man. Does the halfling man look
• 39:10
  familiar? The halfling man does not look
• 39:13
  familiar. No, it does not look like
• 39:15
  Imperator Giovinian Maccabee, if that's what you are asking
• 39:18
  about. OK.
• 39:19
  That's also what I was thinking. I.
• 39:22
  Now that Bunty has stopped talking.
• 39:25
  Thank you and please keep it that way for a little bit.
• 39:28
  Bonk it. Twist it.
• 39:30
  No. How do you have?
• 39:31
  That in there I don't. Know why it came with me?
• 39:36
  I turned the bow. I'm like, he's definitely doing
• 39:37
  the bonk it in there. I could I could see Abe
• 39:43
  twitching at regular intervals. Having little, yeah, little
• 39:47
  twitches. Did your magic work in here,
• 39:50
  Bond? Yeah, I, I cast, I cast
• 39:55
  blindness on the woman who was trying to punch me just so that
• 40:00
  I could get a better look at the painting.
• 40:02
  Which Speaking of which, I I think I noticed they saw me,
• 40:05
  right? Yeah, I think I might have made
• 40:07
  a bit of a scene. I think maybe I wasn't supposed
• 40:10
  to use magic in here and I think I look over at the wood elf and
• 40:15
  the orc. Are they looking back at me
• 40:17
  right now? Yeah, they're whispering and
• 40:19
  looking at your tape. You guys standing around right
• 40:21
  now? I don't know if you grabbed a
• 40:22
  table, but yeah, it's. 'Cause you're really sexy, von
• 40:24
  Bo. Did your magic work in here?
• 40:27
  I mean, my my normal magic doesn't seem to work, but I'm
• 40:31
  still, you know, up for appearances so to speak, if you
• 40:36
  catch my drift. So that makes me curious.
• 40:42
  I'll turn and look at the people squinting as well.
• 40:44
  And maybe it's not about the fact that you're sexy, Bon.
• 40:49
  I'm starting to get that vibe. I'm sorry, I didn't I that
• 41:00
  wasn't supposed to. No, you are still sexy, Bon.
• 41:04
  It's just maybe. They're not that's maybe that's.
• 41:06
  It's a funny line. I just, I don't know, wait and
• 41:09
  respond to it. OK, so as that happens, Khan and
• 41:14
  Trash come over with 10 drinks, 2 for each of you, and slam down
• 41:19
  on the table and kind of sit down at the table with you guys.
• 41:24
  How do you like this place? Very fun, am I right?
• 41:27
  Yeah, it's oh man, it's awesome. Yeah, it's, it's lively so far.
• 41:32
  And I grab my my beer. I nod.
• 41:35
  Cheers to a successful voyage on the on the Lava River.
• 41:40
  Cheers. And they clink glasses with all
• 41:43
  of you guys and you see to on downstairs and trash taste
• 41:47
  little baby sips. I chug mine.
• 41:49
  Incredible. Before I sip, I'm going to
• 41:51
  whisper to you Bon and be like did are we going to tell them
• 41:57
  about your name? I just chug my I think maybe
• 42:07
  maybe let let me handle this one.
• 42:09
  Hey, this is like super personal.
• 42:13
  I I don't know yet how I'm going to approach it, but I think I'm
• 42:15
  going to just try to I think I'm going to try to ask about that
• 42:18
  painting. That seems like a good place to
• 42:20
  start. I'm going to nod and take a sip.
• 42:23
  Can also ask just like how this place got its name.
• 42:26
  Yeah. I'm just worried like what if
• 42:28
  that's too leading of a question?
• 42:31
  Like, I mean, I guess it's a public place, but after now I'm
• 42:35
  just, I'm so worried to mess this up.
• 42:38
  Like this is the only connection I've I've had to my family for
• 42:42
  the past five years. Then maybe maybe we don't start
• 42:45
  with the name, maybe we just say like this is an old fresh or
• 42:49
  Tavern or whatever, you know, what's the history of it?
• 42:52
  Obviously there's been some renovations in recent years, so
• 42:54
  we can ask about that and like what it was before.
• 42:58
  Maybe maybe you could just maybe you could ask for me.
• 43:00
  But yeah. I can do that.
• 43:04
  Abe, I would ask you, but I just asked Bo, sorry.
• 43:07
  Oh, it's OK. I wasn't offended at all, like.
• 43:12
  He says. Offended.
• 43:14
  Well, you know, you got you wouldn't want, you wouldn't want
• 43:16
  Bunty to be, you know, interjecting and stuff.
• 43:19
  So. That's a good point.
• 43:20
  That's a good point. He's actually stopped talking.
• 43:23
  That's it's really nice and I take a longer sip.
• 43:25
  Do I have to roll anything after chugging a beer?
• 43:29
  Are we? No, you guys are fine.
• 43:31
  Right. For the for the most part,
• 43:33
  unless it's some sort of like. Unless we're drinking egregious
• 43:36
  amounts. Yeah, and, and if you were like
• 43:38
  trying to get drunk or get someone drunk for a reason.
• 43:42
  OK, cool, cool. You can, you can handle a couple
• 43:44
  of beers. All right, So Chesh turns to you
• 43:48
  guys and goes, yeah, usually I'm not like a bar person, but this
• 43:54
  is where all the kind of smaller merchants go to.
• 43:58
  And honestly, like it's, it's super safe in comparison.
• 44:03
  This bar really, it's meant to keep us safe.
• 44:07
  And it's kind of a little bit of a secret.
• 44:09
  Of course people know about it. But us lower merchants decided
• 44:13
  that if we wanted to keep this place sacred to us, we kind of
• 44:16
  had to be on the on the hush hush about it, you know?
• 44:21
  Yeah, and I, I point up to the, the, the blackboard on the wall
• 44:25
  and they, they've also got pantheon trivia on Tuesdays, so
• 44:28
  that's pretty cool too. Yeah, trivia is very cool.
• 44:32
  They don't, they ask a lot about Astraxi and you know, it seems
• 44:35
  kind of like, you know, let's diversify a little bit.
• 44:39
  But you know, good thing I'm very good at trivia.
• 44:41
  Mostly horse trivia, but Astraxi.
• 44:43
  And I'm decent at safe horse trivia on Thursdays.
• 44:46
  OK. Oh nice.
• 44:48
  Yeah, I look at the the chalkboard right below.
• 44:50
  It's equine trivia. So do people just not know about
• 44:55
  it or like is it hidden in some special way like?
• 45:01
  Just kind of from the outside, it doesn't look like the type of
• 45:05
  bar that that a lot of overlookers would go to.
• 45:10
  Oh. And then she turns to Beau and
• 45:13
  Abe and goes, Have you, have you guys been to this, this city
• 45:17
  before? Bon, I know you were here for a
• 45:19
  little bit of time. No, this is this is my first
• 45:21
  time. Really, really briefly on my
• 45:24
  way. Well, overlookers are kind of
• 45:27
  the people that live on the West side of the city on the on top
• 45:32
  of the Cliff. So overlookers are kind of split
• 45:34
  into into two groups. There's the really rich
• 45:37
  overlookers who live on the cliff's edge.
• 45:39
  So their houses have this really stunning views and fog kind of
• 45:43
  rolls over and it's it's really nice.
• 45:46
  And then there's the other overlookers, which are us, the
• 45:49
  kind of lower class merchants who traverse mostly the lava
• 45:52
  rivers. And overlookers really don't
• 45:55
  kind of go down to the docks super often.
• 45:58
  So right then like the the Ridge overlookers, like they don't
• 46:02
  really come to us at this bar. And the lower class merchants,
• 46:08
  we all generally know about this place and you know, it's you if
• 46:13
  anyone can enter. But for the most part it's
• 46:17
  pretty just kind of low key. Good place to hide, I say, and I
• 46:22
  glance at you, Bond and take another long swig.
• 46:29
  What? The fuck?
• 46:30
  I don't know what that means. Maybe we should talk to the OR
• 46:41
  like the group of rough or dirty looking merchants who seem like
• 46:44
  they've just been on the road about maybe what's been
• 46:48
  happening with the the lack of protection.
• 46:52
  That's a that's a good idea. I was wondering about that.
• 46:55
  Do you want me to go over there or what do we want to do?
• 46:56
  Let's go and I'll get up with you.
• 46:59
  Okay, yeah. Is this the group that's been
• 47:01
  staring at me? No, so that's the people that
• 47:04
  were playing the dice game. So I think what Beau was talking
• 47:08
  about are those human merchants who were kind of mapping out
• 47:13
  where they were going on the lava rivers and kind of figuring
• 47:16
  out their travels. Yeah, so that's actually where
• 47:19
  the river capped in. That's that's his crew right
• 47:21
  there. But he's kind of still knocked
• 47:23
  out on the ground. So the rest of his crew are
• 47:26
  hanging out. Then in that case, I'm going to
• 47:28
  go up to the bar and I'm going to ask for the free or the
• 47:33
  complimentary ale for that guy to bring it over to him.
• 47:37
  Oh great, yes. So I just take the ale and walk
• 47:40
  over to him and just kind of like slap him lightly on the
• 47:42
  face and maybe like wave it underneath his nose to kind of
• 47:46
  bring him to. Great.
• 47:47
  And he he he wakes up kind of a bleary eyed and goes ale ha and
• 47:54
  starts just chugging it while he's laying like belly first on
• 47:57
  the ground right now. Yeah, maybe I help him back to
• 48:00
  his his friends as like the. Entrance.
• 48:03
  Yeah, you kind of have to guide him because he can't really see
• 48:05
  with the ale glass blocking his eyes he's just continuously
• 48:09
  slipping and just walking and you're kind of guiding him
• 48:12
  through the bar to where the human merchants are.
• 48:15
  I. Think hey, I bring your friend
• 48:17
  back to you. You see, this human woman goes
• 48:20
  to you and goes, oh, yeah, thanks.
• 48:22
  He, you know, it's been tough lately.
• 48:25
  So he he got a little drunker than anticipated and she kind of
• 48:29
  pulls him to sit down next to her and he puts his glass down,
• 48:33
  burps and then puts his head on the table and closes his eyes.
• 48:37
  Yeah, I I couldn't help but notice you guys looking at the
• 48:40
  map over there. I mean, we just got in off the
• 48:42
  road. We had to deal with a few
• 48:43
  bandits not too far from the city.
• 48:45
  And what's the deal with this? Like, what's going on?
• 48:48
  Is it? Yeah, I know.
• 48:49
  It's it's actually so crazy. This only started happening like
• 48:52
  a couple of weeks ago. I'm not really sure what's up
• 48:56
  with all of these, these bandits, they're kind of
• 48:59
  weenies. So it's not like the end of the
• 49:01
  world, but like, definitely annoying.
• 49:04
  I yeah, I don't know. I feel like we were thinking
• 49:09
  maybe we would go talk to some of the, the larger merchants
• 49:13
  down at the dock or maybe go to like where they hang out to try
• 49:18
  to like see what's up because a lot of us lower class merchants
• 49:21
  are very upset by this. Actually.
• 49:23
  She starts to get a little heated.
• 49:25
  And I don't know why the larger merchants think that they have
• 49:28
  the right to kind of to take away this protection from us.
• 49:31
  We made an agreement with them. They pay for this protection
• 49:34
  and, and we do all the river kind of deliveries for them and
• 49:38
  they get to sail out during the wide open sea.
• 49:40
  And that's kind of how they take care of us because they don't
• 49:42
  necessarily want to have their own river boats because that's
• 49:45
  just extra things that they have to deal with and they like not
• 49:47
  going into, don't you kind of like take some breath?
• 49:52
  I, I am sorry. I am just quite peeved by this.
• 49:55
  Quite peeved. I, I, that's, I understand.
• 49:59
  Hey, well, you know, try to relax a little bit.
• 50:01
  You're here and you're safe for now.
• 50:03
  Yeah. So I don't know, I don't know if
• 50:06
  you, like all of us, have been kind of hesitant to actually
• 50:10
  talk to the, the, the great Guild, you know, the great
• 50:16
  Guild, right? Yeah, of course.
• 50:18
  Yeah, everybody knows. Yeah.
• 50:19
  So a lot of us have been a little bit hesitant to talk to,
• 50:22
  you know. Can I do a history check on the
• 50:24
  great Guild? Yeah, you can do a history check
• 50:27
  on the Great Guild. Be great if farmers here right
• 50:29
  now. Yeah, just looking over at the
• 50:30
  bartender, just kind of like white knuckling my drink.
• 50:34
  Yeah, I am just awkwardly standing a few feet away from
• 50:38
  Bo's conversation. I did go over not engaging at
• 50:42
  all. That's a 12.
• 50:45
  With a 12, you can kind of just basically deduce that the Great
• 50:51
  Guild is probably the overarching merchant Guild that
• 50:56
  operates throughout Exomoria based off of just general
• 51:00
  knowledge. You know that it probably
• 51:02
  comprises of the merchant guilds from each empire, and this is
• 51:06
  kind of like the overarching merchant Guild that that
• 51:10
  combines all four of them. Yeah.
• 51:12
  Do they have a base or headquarters here in the city?
• 51:15
  I mean, Emberhold is one of the biggest port cities in all of
• 51:20
  Exumoria, right? So they do tend to conglomerate
• 51:26
  here. They don't have like their a lot
• 51:28
  of them own their own houses and stuff here, like, you know,
• 51:31
  second home, third home, whatever.
• 51:34
  But the deckhands that work on these large ships hang around
• 51:38
  the docks and kind of have smaller places there.
• 51:40
  And then the actual like the actual captains of these boats
• 51:44
  and some of the merchant leaders and stuff like that, they tend
• 51:47
  to go to this fancy bar kind of on the on the on the Cliff face.
• 51:54
  I'm pulling up my journal at this point.
• 51:56
  Just 10 feet away, recording, just writing.
• 52:00
  Yeah, they, they tend to hang out at this bar called the the
• 52:04
  Shanty and it's on the Cliff face itself.
• 52:09
  All of us, we don't really go there.
• 52:11
  It's very weighty, tweety, if anything.
• 52:14
  So if you want, if, you know, we were thinking, you know, should
• 52:16
  we talk to the actual like head of these guilds and the actual
• 52:20
  captains who hang out at the shanty?
• 52:22
  Or should we go maybe talk to the deckhands, maybe they know
• 52:25
  kind of what's up and go down to the docks, talk to them, but I
• 52:29
  don't know. I just, we don't want to rock
• 52:31
  the boat to say the least. And like I just.
• 52:34
  Nice. So you're like, you're like 3
• 52:38
  feet away listening to this conversation.
• 52:41
  Yeah. And actually.
• 52:42
  Excuse me, do you want me to include Hoity Toity in your
• 52:44
  description? Give me a persuasion check right
• 52:48
  now as you're doing this. Oh OK with disadvantage because
• 52:52
  you are creeping on them. What am I?
• 52:54
  What am I persuading them? Just that they should keep
• 52:57
  talking to you and not just shut the fuck up.
• 52:59
  Abe's been in the awkward situation that I've been in so
• 53:02
  many parties where you see one person you know, so you just
• 53:05
  kind of like post up next to them holding a drink and hope
• 53:09
  that the conversation will include you.
• 53:11
  He's like but he's like 3 feet behind you writing in a journal.
• 53:15
  Yeah, 11. An 11 The human woman merchant
• 53:21
  just kind of goes a little quiet and goes, are you writing what
• 53:26
  I'm saying? I, I don't feel comfortable
• 53:30
  talking about this anymore. Are you, are you working for the
• 53:34
  great merchant Guild? She kind of shuts up and goes,
• 53:38
  we kind of just need to get back to our planning.
• 53:40
  If that's OK, wait. Wait, I'm sorry.
• 53:42
  Yeah, you you put I. Put my journal away and I say
• 53:45
  no, I'm, I'm with him. We're we're.
• 53:47
  I, I, I think it's I think. Yeah.
• 53:50
  No, it's it's we're we're good. Hey, thank you.
• 53:53
  Yeah, nice to meet you. Thank you for bringing back our
• 53:55
  our captain. Absolutely.
• 53:56
  Have a good night. And they go back to planning,
• 53:59
  all right. I think I think that was that
• 54:04
  was more or less the end of the. Conversation, that was.
• 54:06
  That was Hemi's own description of Abe standing feet away.
• 54:11
  Just for the record info, I I did put Hoity toity in there and
• 54:15
  she didn't clarify if that was like she wanted to be on the
• 54:17
  record about that, but. As as you guys reapproach the
• 54:20
  table, I'm like, what did? What did they say?
• 54:23
  Do you guys figure out why? Why there's bandits now?
• 54:27
  Not quite, but I think I know where we could go to figure out
• 54:31
  more about it. So Tahan turns to you guys and
• 54:35
  goes so trash. And I might go just get a room
• 54:43
  upstairs and kind of, you know, yeah, take the evening in, you
• 54:48
  know, watch some. Yeah.
• 54:50
  You know, what can we say? To on before before you go, do
• 54:56
  you think you could introduce us to the bartender?
• 54:58
  Oh, Reen. Yeah, yeah.
• 55:00
  Oh, Reen's great. Reen's great.
• 55:02
  But she seems kind of busy right now.
• 55:06
  If you want, you can go talk to her spouse, Milith.
• 55:11
  Milith is just gambling over there and she points over to the
• 55:15
  wood elf who's playing that dice game at the table.
• 55:18
  Milith. Milith can answer your question.
• 55:20
  They're co-owner of the bar. You know, Reen's kind of doing
• 55:23
  all the hard work. Milith kind of does the gambling
• 55:25
  keeps like people, people happy and stuff like that.
• 55:28
  I think they'll answer your questions.
• 55:30
  Leave Reen alone. She's busy.
• 55:33
  All right, have a great night then.
• 55:35
  And I I get up and I'm going to walk over to the gambling table.
• 55:39
  Yeah, and as you as you got as you walk over to the gambling
• 55:42
  table, Tan goes well, I hope you guys get a room here if you
• 55:46
  want. Maybe we'll see each other
• 55:48
  around. I'm not sure what your plans are
• 55:50
  now that you're an Ember holds, but if we don't see you, it was
• 55:54
  very nice to to meet you guys. And of course, of course, where
• 55:58
  are my manners? I'm so sorry.
• 56:00
  Tan goes and gives you guys just great big sweaty beer stand like
• 56:05
  hugs, just like Speaking of beer, trash comes over and she
• 56:08
  goes, yeah, it was you guys were really fun to to travel with and
• 56:16
  I really, I really enjoyed having guests on the ship, which
• 56:20
  you know, I really don't usually enjoy but but it was fun.
• 56:25
  She reaches over and goes and shakes your hand Abe and gives a
• 56:30
  hug to both Bo and Bon and then heads away with Tom.
• 56:34
  The disrespect What Bon. Well, I don't say that out loud,
• 56:39
  but do. You remember last session,
• 56:41
  right? Were you called her out on being
• 56:43
  quiet? Yes, no, no, I know where this
• 56:46
  is coming from. However, I do say, oh, and I
• 56:49
  don't know where Bunty is right now, otherwise I'm sure he would
• 56:52
  tell you that he had a really good time with you both.
• 56:55
  I had so much fun. Tell them I had so much fun.
• 56:59
  Nope. And I just shake my head.
• 57:00
  Nope. I'm not saying that they're I'm
• 57:02
  not supposed to let them know. Oh, Abe.
• 57:06
  Abe, are you OK? You seem to be talking to the
• 57:09
  voices in your head. I'm not doing.
• 57:11
  So, well, right now, Todd. Give me a Give me a perception
• 57:14
  check right now. 12. You kind of over here trash
• 57:20
  whisper to Todd right now. I think Abe needs some help.
• 57:25
  Maybe we can look into that for him in the city or something.
• 57:28
  And then they walk away. I.
• 57:30
  Don't need help. Great to meet you guys, I hope
• 57:32
  we see each other again. See you later.
• 57:35
  I call, I called the two of you back to the table and I'm going
• 57:37
  to pound another beer real quick, my second one.
• 57:41
  And just to take the edge off, sort of take the nerves away.
• 57:44
  And I'm going to say, yeah, I, I think I'm going to go over there
• 57:50
  and try to talk to them. You guys come, come join me.
• 57:55
  But let let me try to handle it, I guess.
• 57:58
  You know if I need help, help me out.
• 58:01
  Also, just to clarify, like you're saying, you might need
• 58:05
  help. Are you going to signal us about
• 58:07
  that? No, no.
• 58:08
  All right. So I've been wanting to talk to
• 58:10
  you about this, Abe, a little bit.
• 58:12
  So there's something in most society called, like, I call it
• 58:17
  decorum. It's called, you know, you know,
• 58:21
  like social awareness and, and it's, it's not just something.
• 58:30
  And I've taken my journal out. In layman's words, chill.
• 58:35
  Listen, Imagine that the things that really matter inside your
• 58:40
  bubbly brain don't actually matter that much.
• 58:44
  They can still matter inside, but outside they don't have to
• 58:48
  matter and you don't always have to act on the things that are
• 58:51
  going on inside of your brain. It's there's a lot of I think
• 58:56
  one of the ways to put this maybe that that could be helpful
• 58:59
  to you is, is there's a lot to gain from subtlety in
• 59:02
  conversation. You know, you can sort of
• 59:05
  instead of controlling a room with your fists, with the
• 59:08
  spectral arms, with questions and knowledge, you can control a
• 59:12
  situation also with your words, the things you say and the
• 59:19
  things you don't say. Watch how me and Bo carry
• 59:23
  ourselves through this conversation and notice, you
• 59:27
  know what, what we do, what we don't do, the questions we don't
• 59:30
  ask and the things we don't say. But the things you know we know,
• 59:33
  and the things you know we want to ask, does that all make sense
• 59:38
  to you? I popped my.
• 59:40
  Head up and I give me. Give me your notes.
• 59:41
  Give me your notes. Yeah, and you see a lot of don't
• 59:46
  act on things. Bunty was playing Bonkit loudly
• 59:49
  in Abe's head. I was going to say I'm not going
• 59:52
  to say this out loud, but right now it is extra hard to to not
• 59:56
  say anything because Bunty's also being loud in my head.
• 1:00:00
  But maybe I just, I take notes on everything you said, Earnest.
• 1:00:03
  Listen, hey, I want, I want to involve you in these things,
• 1:00:07
  Abe. I really do.
• 1:00:09
  But they're so delicate. This is so important to me.
• 1:00:13
  And I just do. Do you think you can be chill
• 1:00:20
  like we just talked about? Yeah, I mean Bunty, between
• 1:00:24
  Bunty and I, I've been the the most chill.
• 1:00:28
  The bar is low dude. The bar is low.
• 1:00:30
  Shut up. Would you be?
• 1:00:31
  Upset if I didn't bring you over?
• 1:00:34
  Would you be upset if I didn't bring you over to this
• 1:00:36
  conversation? I look away for a second and
• 1:00:39
  sigh, and I put my hand on your shoulders, Bond and I say, I
• 1:00:44
  know this matters a lot to you and right now, and I would take
• 1:00:48
  your advice. I've taken very good notes on
• 1:00:50
  it, as you can see. And I turned my page to you and
• 1:00:53
  you see that I have actually taken a lot of notes on it.
• 1:00:55
  And I say. I'm struggling with much more
• 1:00:57
  than my own impulses of also struggling with Bunty's, which
• 1:01:02
  I'm sure that both of you can imagine would be very difficult
• 1:01:05
  to deal with. So I'm going to understand you
• 1:01:07
  guys do that thing. Go do your thing.
• 1:01:11
  I I clasp your shoulder and I say so earnestly.
• 1:01:15
  Thank you, Abe. Kind of twitch.
• 1:01:22
  All right, so I'm going to get up and walk over with Bo.
• 1:01:26
  You approach this rowdy crew that has gone back to gambling
• 1:01:30
  and the wood elf kind of. So Mialeth is what you learned
• 1:01:34
  their name was. Mialeth leans back and goes ha,
• 1:01:39
  you hear it's a gamble. It's the most honest gambling
• 1:01:42
  girl ever partake in. Yeah, what's what's the game?
• 1:01:47
  What's the game It's? Called the Krags.
• 1:01:50
  Have you ever played it before? Is it a?
• 1:01:52
  Is it a merchant game? Yes, it is a it's a classic
• 1:01:55
  merchant game. Oh, I've played Krags in my day.
• 1:01:58
  I know. I know a thing or two about
• 1:02:00
  Krags. Come, come sit down.
• 1:02:02
  There's no magic. There's no none of that nonsense
• 1:02:05
  that happens on the boats and everyone just kind of cheating.
• 1:02:08
  The way this is, this is honest Krags.
• 1:02:11
  Insight check. All right.
• 1:02:12
  Yeah, you roll me an insight check.
• 1:02:15
  A natural 20. Yeah, it seems like me LF is is
• 1:02:19
  telling the truth with this. OK, I kind of like nod very
• 1:02:23
  slightly to Bond. They they want to run an honest,
• 1:02:27
  they run an honest bar. Cool, real quick Avni, you said
• 1:02:31
  like our magic items just disappeared right?
• 1:02:34
  I want to check my pocket to see if the amulet is still there or
• 1:02:37
  not. The amulet is also gone.
• 1:02:40
  OK. As you guys agree to play the
• 1:02:42
  Krags, the orc that was fighting Bond turns to Mia left and says,
• 1:02:46
  Mia left. We the drow here actually has
• 1:02:49
  magic. It would be unfair to to to play
• 1:02:52
  him. And Mia left just smiles a glint
• 1:02:55
  in their eye and says, well, you know, I'm still down to play.
• 1:02:59
  Yeah, you just kind of, if you're going to use magic,
• 1:03:02
  double the stakes. But if you promise not to use
• 1:03:04
  magic, then we'll play straight. You know, it doesn't matter.
• 1:03:07
  But if any of us catch you and then they raise an eyebrow at
• 1:03:10
  you wouldn't be good news. OK, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:03:13
  I listen, I I've played with magic, without magic, anything.
• 1:03:18
  I'm, I'm up for the game. That's I won't use magic, I
• 1:03:20
  promise. And I'm telling the truth.
• 1:03:22
  So I'm not going to roll deception.
• 1:03:24
  Awesome. OK, so this is how we play the
• 1:03:28
  dice game. The concept is that there's one
• 1:03:31
  captain who sets. This person isn't gambling.
• 1:03:34
  They set a single target number with a roll of a die, and
• 1:03:37
  everyone around the table takes turns trying to roll that number
• 1:03:40
  or higher, and if you fail, you lose a die.
• 1:03:43
  So the last person left with a die in their hand wins.
• 1:03:45
  So the captain has AD 6 and everyone else starts with 3D
• 1:03:49
  fours. So the captain will roll the die
• 1:03:53
  first and that's going to be the target for the round.
• 1:03:57
  So Bo and Bon if you have 3D fours.
• 1:04:02
  Sure. What is the buy in?
• 1:04:04
  Oh yeah? Mialet turns to you guys and
• 1:04:06
  goes. What do you want to play for?
• 1:04:08
  Whoever wins gets the whole pot. We'll all throw in the same
• 1:04:10
  amount. I look over to Bo.
• 1:04:15
  How much money do we have? We have 1299 gold.
• 1:04:19
  OK. Put in like 900 gold right or?
• 1:04:22
  OK. I think, I think they might not
• 1:04:26
  like that. Also, I think this maybe this is
• 1:04:28
  inadvisable, but I think our odds are better if we invite Abe
• 1:04:32
  over we. Look over at Abe, you guys.
• 1:04:35
  Look over at me and I'm flipping through.
• 1:04:38
  I'm flipping through my journal now, Abe.
• 1:04:40
  'S white knuckled on the. And my head's twitching.
• 1:04:48
  Listen, you're right, but maybe we just bet low for that
• 1:04:50
  purpose. Fair enough, Fair enough.
• 1:04:53
  OK, so 800 gold. Got it. 800 each.
• 1:04:55
  So you guys have the OR 400 each?
• 1:04:57
  Let's do, let's do. Let's start with 50 gold.
• 1:05:01
  OK. All right.
• 1:05:01
  Yeah, fair enough. Let's see how many people are at
• 1:05:03
  the table playing OK. Is that is that an excessive
• 1:05:06
  amount? No 50 gold is perfectly fine.
• 1:05:10
  So there are three other players with you right now, OK?
• 1:05:14
  One of them being Mielef and then the Orc woman is going to
• 1:05:18
  be the quote UN quote captain for this round.
• 1:05:21
  So she's not betting. So that is five people times 50
• 1:05:26
  gold is 250 gold in the pot right now, so.
• 1:05:30
  That's 100 gold right for us total.
• 1:05:33
  So the orc woman is going to set the target number.
• 1:05:36
  Right now it's a six on the D6, so each of you rolled the 3D
• 1:05:42
  four. And we're trying to get a total
• 1:05:46
  of 6 or A5. 6 or higher. I got a 3A2 and A1 so I got 6.
• 1:05:51
  Amazing. Well, the four on the first one
• 1:05:53
  so and the four on the second one and the two on the third
• 1:05:55
  one, so 10. Amazing.
• 1:05:58
  So you see that one of the people loses one of their dice
• 1:06:02
  and is down to two dice right now.
• 1:06:05
  The next round begins. It's a 5.
• 1:06:10
  Jesus, say, Are you sure we're not playing with Magic right
• 1:06:14
  now? The Oracleman laughs.
• 1:06:16
  I would never cheat. 22 and 1 so 5 total for me.
• 1:06:20
  I got 411 so 6. Awesome, you see that one of the
• 1:06:26
  other ones with three dies loses it again.
• 1:06:32
  That's a 5 again. Wow, that's a 4A3 and a three,
• 1:06:38
  so 10. Damn. 8 for me.
• 1:06:40
  Wow, you guys are rolling very well.
• 1:06:42
  Yeah, the third guy who had three dice now is down to two,
• 1:06:47
  and one of the ones with two is now down to 1.
• 1:06:52
  That's a six. Holy shit.
• 1:06:55
  God damn. I know.
• 1:06:58
  It's a 4A4 and A2, so another 10.
• 1:07:01
  This one's just 5 for me. OK so you lose 1 die and the
• 1:07:05
  person with one die has no way to win.
• 1:07:08
  They are out. All you are up against right now
• 1:07:10
  is one person with one die, one person with two dice.
• 1:07:13
  Right now. Bond, you still have all three.
• 1:07:16
  Yep. And Bo, you have two.
• 1:07:18
  Yes. That's a three right now. 5
• 1:07:24
  total. I don't even roll just because.
• 1:07:26
  I know you're totally fine. So everyone gets that one.
• 1:07:31
  That's a six again, so the one person with one die is
• 1:07:34
  immediately out. I'm going to look at the the
• 1:07:36
  wood elf and Wink and I'm going to say this is a strategy I
• 1:07:39
  learned in Pharaoh Malik's and then I'm just going to throw my
• 1:07:43
  dice. Very early.
• 1:07:47
  A man of the world. I see a man of the world.
• 1:07:50
  And I got I got 5 and so I lose another die.
• 1:07:54
  I got A1A1 and A4. Just make it and the wood elf is
• 1:07:59
  still in the game right now. Just makes it as well with two
• 1:08:01
  dice. All right, that's a 5 again.
• 1:08:05
  I'm out, you're out. 331. Holy shit, the wood elf is now
• 1:08:10
  down to one die and you're still at 3:00.
• 1:08:13
  Yeah, this is this is just very main character.
• 1:08:15
  I'm really liking this. Yeah, this is.
• 1:08:17
  This is so cool. That is a six on the die and the
• 1:08:22
  wood elf is automatically out cannot be in the game and Bon,
• 1:08:27
  you win the whole pot 250 gold right now.
• 1:08:31
  The wood elf turns to you and goes and he's going to insight
• 1:08:36
  check you and I want you to give me a persuasion all.
• 1:08:40
  Right. Could I possibly give him help
• 1:08:44
  on this since I am trained in persuasion?
• 1:08:47
  Yes, your your stats stay the same.
• 1:08:50
  I'm assuming he's checking to see if he's if he's used magic.
• 1:08:53
  Yes, absolutely. I'm gonna see seem kind of like
• 1:08:57
  upset that I lost, but I'm gonna assure the guy that you know, my
• 1:09:02
  my friend here is a man of his word.
• 1:09:04
  If he says he didn't use magic, he did not use magic.
• 1:09:07
  Awesome. Oh, that's awful.
• 1:09:12
  With advantage. Yeah, it's a two and a one on
• 1:09:16
  the dice, but can I use? Do you want to, do you want to
• 1:09:21
  hear? I feel like do you want to hear
• 1:09:22
  something though. They rolled A2 on the die also.
• 1:09:26
  Yeah, but they rolled A2 on the die, so their insight.
• 1:09:29
  Is +0 so can I? Can I use guidance?
• 1:09:37
  Would they know if I use guidance?
• 1:09:39
  No, like, I mean, give me a, give me a sleight of hand before
• 1:09:43
  you use guidance. Oh God.
• 1:09:44
  That's not good either. All right, let's try this.
• 1:09:47
  Or deception, whichever one you'd rather.
• 1:09:50
  It's 15. OK, a 15 so you can cast
• 1:09:52
  guidance on yourself. Come on, four.
• 1:09:54
  These fours have not been failing me.
• 1:09:57
  That's a two. OK.
• 1:09:58
  So that's 4 total? Both of you got a four on
• 1:10:01
  persuasion and insight and I think with that tie Mealith,
• 1:10:05
  they look at you and they are like.
• 1:10:10
  Jordan Peele dressed in sweat. Yeah, I'm just, they're like,
• 1:10:16
  OK, yeah, that was just crazy. Kind of that rolling was kind
• 1:10:21
  of, you know, a little crazy. What can I say, I'm, I'm, I'm a
• 1:10:25
  bit of a lucky guy when it when it comes to games like this.
• 1:10:28
  I you know what they say, Lucky in games, unlucky in.
• 1:10:33
  Love. A lot of a lot of other stuff.
• 1:10:36
  Well, you know, honestly, sometimes it feels like life's
• 1:10:41
  been been going that way, but you know, hey, you're safe here.
• 1:10:45
  Be happy here. So nice bar.
• 1:10:47
  It's it's a nice bar. You'd be happy.
• 1:10:50
  You're you're me. Left, right.
• 1:10:52
  Yes, yeah, I'm one of the the owners of this bar here.
• 1:10:56
  Yeah, our friends Tan and Trash mentioned you and Reen.
• 1:11:00
  They they vouched for you. They said you're, you're good
• 1:11:02
  people. Yeah.
• 1:11:03
  Oh, we love to on and trash here, you know, great, great
• 1:11:06
  customers. We always got room for them.
• 1:11:09
  I love, I love the bar. It's it's got very interesting
• 1:11:13
  decor. What's what's the story behind
• 1:11:16
  that painting up there? And real quick before I ask
• 1:11:19
  this, we haven't really approached this at all.
• 1:11:23
  Are drow common there? There's a drow more there's.
• 1:11:26
  A drow at this table right now. OK, OK, cool then, yeah.
• 1:11:29
  Mia left turns to you and goes yeah, you know, I noticed you
• 1:11:34
  noticing the painting and I noticed you having the magic
• 1:11:39
  when you shouldn't have had the magic and Mia left turns to
• 1:11:43
  everyone at the table. Can you guys just give us some
• 1:11:47
  space? Don't you want to talk to to?
• 1:11:50
  Sorry I I didn't catch your guys's names.
• 1:11:53
  I'm I'm Bon and yeah, I look over to Bo and let let him
• 1:11:59
  decide. I'm I'm Ollie V Garden.
• 1:12:02
  Bon, Ollie, Yeah, Let me just talk to Bon and Ollie real
• 1:12:06
  quick, real quick. And everyone kind of fucks off
• 1:12:11
  and Mia left, turns to you guys and goes, yeah, I could tell you
• 1:12:17
  noticed something with the painting.
• 1:12:20
  So it seems a little weird if I lied to you about it 'cause you
• 1:12:25
  already know that something's up with it.
• 1:12:29
  And honestly, I don't necessarily see the point of
• 1:12:34
  lying if you already know. No one else really kind of knows
• 1:12:37
  why this bar is a safe haven besides me and Rene And I guess
• 1:12:43
  now you 2 man. They look a little hesitant at
• 1:12:48
  this if you do want to roll a persuasion check right now.
• 1:12:52
  Yeah, your your secret's safe with us.
• 1:12:55
  We have no ulterior motives. I'm going to see if I can keep
• 1:12:59
  it very covered and I'm going to cut my hands and blow a Knicks
• 1:13:06
  Shard and sort of open my fingers to let them see it and
• 1:13:11
  then clap it closed so that it's not a big spectacle for
• 1:13:15
  everybody else. And I say you can.
• 1:13:17
  You can trust us. Mieleith looks a little confused
• 1:13:23
  at this and goes, yeah, we knew you could do magic.
• 1:13:31
  Oh yeah. Quick question.
• 1:13:32
  When did you? Sorry this seems out of the
• 1:13:34
  blue. When did you guys take over?
• 1:13:35
  Oh, we've had, we've had this bar for a very long time, for
• 1:13:40
  the past 1515 years or so. We're going to roll our
• 1:13:44
  persuasion checks, right? Yeah.
• 1:13:46
  Also, can I make a perception check to see that the crowd left
• 1:13:49
  the table when that happened? Yeah, sure.
• 1:13:54
  Am I? Am I rolling you?
• 1:13:55
  Could give you could roll, You could give the help action to
• 1:13:58
  bond either. Assuming it passes a 22.
• 1:14:01
  I feel like you should roll. We're both kind of trying to
• 1:14:03
  convince them that we're trustworthy.
• 1:14:07
  Yeah, that's I said your secret's safe with us, and I
• 1:14:10
  rolled a 24. I got.
• 1:14:12
  I got an 8. Awesome.
• 1:14:14
  And which? Goes right alongside my awkward
• 1:14:16
  interaction. And Abe, you got a 22.
• 1:14:18
  So yeah, Abe, you noticed that everyone kind of left the table
• 1:14:23
  and that Mealith, Bo and Bon are kind of talking in hush voices
• 1:14:26
  now. So Mealith turns to you Bon, and
• 1:14:29
  goes your companion here I trust with the secret.
• 1:14:34
  And I just want you to know that this means a lot to me and Rene.
• 1:14:40
  And because you have magic that kind of transcends this this
• 1:14:47
  safe haven, I'm going to trust you with this information.
• 1:14:51
  Six years ago, a Dragonborn woman named Sarvani and a group
• 1:14:55
  of other lower class merchants were having a very hard time
• 1:14:58
  financially. They went to the Varelian Shards
• 1:15:04
  trying to get to the Screaming Reef, which you know is highly
• 1:15:09
  illegal. I'm not sure how much you guys
• 1:15:12
  all know about it, but stories say that after the Four Empires
• 1:15:16
  destroyed the Lost Empire, some sort of magical blast or
• 1:15:20
  something rolled out over the seas and destroyed much of the
• 1:15:24
  Four Empires ships and shattered the Varelian shards, sinking
• 1:15:28
  most of it. And the Four Empires warships
• 1:15:31
  kind of conglomerated into this makeshift island of wreckage
• 1:15:35
  called the Screaming Reef, and on it are many artifacts from
• 1:15:39
  the Lost Empire. So Sarvani and her crew set sail
• 1:15:43
  there. But some magical force always
• 1:15:45
  confuses compasses and makes it incredibly dangerous to sail
• 1:15:48
  there. We aren't sure what happened,
• 1:15:51
  but as far as we know, the crew died.
• 1:15:54
  And almost a year after she set out, Sarvani was found floating
• 1:15:57
  on a wreckage near Emberhold, which if you look at a map, is
• 1:16:01
  honestly quite a long way how she got here.
• 1:16:04
  And she had a bag with her. When she got on land, she
• 1:16:08
  bolted, leaving behind this portrait of a drow woman and a
• 1:16:12
  halfling man. And for some reason, as fate
• 1:16:16
  would have it, Reen and I were on the docks at the time.
• 1:16:21
  We don't go there very often, but we saw her and we saw her
• 1:16:24
  bolt. And this painting on the back,
• 1:16:26
  it says High Priestess Scale Song and her husband.
• 1:16:30
  That's just the inscription on the back.
• 1:16:31
  Someone hand wrote it there. So we thought it was a very cool
• 1:16:36
  painting. And, you know, the guards don't
• 1:16:38
  really come into here. We thought, you know, let's add
• 1:16:41
  it to the Decor. And we hung it in this bar, and
• 1:16:43
  lo and behold, what was once, you know, a dingy, dangerous bar
• 1:16:48
  is now a safe haven for us merchants and weapons and magic
• 1:16:51
  literally disappear when you enter the bar.
• 1:16:53
  Not really sure where it goes, but you know.
• 1:16:58
  Is this the first time that you've met somebody who can cast
• 1:17:02
  magic in here? Yeah, yeah.
• 1:17:05
  A magic item that works or anything like that.
• 1:17:08
  Me Less squints their eyes, not that I could tell.
• 1:17:14
  I mean, what we've gathered is that this place, yes, it gets
• 1:17:19
  rid of weapons and magic for the most part, but it's more of like
• 1:17:23
  a safe haven. It keeps what is, keeps you
• 1:17:26
  safe, you know? Interesting.
• 1:17:30
  OK. Anyways, like a couple weeks go
• 1:17:32
  by and like Rena and I, we kind of knew Sarvani.
• 1:17:36
  We were kind of friends with her before she set off and the
• 1:17:39
  guards found her hiding in the library.
• 1:17:42
  She'd just been living there for a few weeks and they brought her
• 1:17:45
  to us because she has no family. I have no idea what she did with
• 1:17:49
  that bag of stuff that she got, whatever.
• 1:17:52
  But she kind of has a permanent place to live right now on the
• 1:17:55
  second floor of this bar and in and.
• 1:17:59
  But she's got a little mad. She says a lot of just nonsense,
• 1:18:03
  you know? Mealith continues.
• 1:18:06
  Yeah, Reena and I, we didn't really tell anyone where she had
• 1:18:11
  been or what she had on her, otherwise they would have locked
• 1:18:16
  her up. And we looked around the
• 1:18:18
  library. We just, yeah, we don't know
• 1:18:20
  where the stuff is that she got or if she's even OK.
• 1:18:24
  I don't even know she knows where the stuff is.
• 1:18:26
  You know she's going so. You're saying it might be hidden
• 1:18:29
  somewhere in the library? I mean, we looked, Rena and I,
• 1:18:33
  but yeah, I don't know, maybe or somewhere else.
• 1:18:36
  Maybe she went somewhere else before she went to the library,
• 1:18:38
  right? We don't know.
• 1:18:40
  You know, just very strange question.
• 1:18:42
  You said she like just rambles and coherently and stuff.
• 1:18:45
  Are there any like repeated prominent phrases that she says?
• 1:18:49
  She says a lot the phrase and she was chosen and she was
• 1:18:53
  chosen. OK.
• 1:18:55
  Yeah, that doesn't mean anything to us.
• 1:18:56
  Sorry. I just kind of share a look with
• 1:18:58
  Bond. Yeah, I look over at you.
• 1:19:01
  I kind of whisper under my breath.
• 1:19:03
  I'm like, I'm so glad that we didn't bring Abe into this
• 1:19:06
  interaction. Yeah, but we're going to have to
• 1:19:08
  tell him he's. Going to be so.
• 1:19:09
  Interested. We're going to tell him
• 1:19:11
  everything but. This is, I mean, you, you've
• 1:19:14
  been very kind telling us all of this.
• 1:19:16
  So I appreciate all of that. I mean.
• 1:19:20
  Yeah. Feel free to say no.
• 1:19:22
  Is there any way that we could talk to her?
• 1:19:24
  Or do you think that would just bother her and make her upset or
• 1:19:27
  something? Or it's up to you.
• 1:19:29
  It sounds like we wouldn't get much from her anyway, but.
• 1:19:32
  This is kind of thinking this as they're speaking.
• 1:19:35
  So usually I go in and give her her dinner and supper and stuff
• 1:19:43
  like that. Around this time, she doesn't
• 1:19:47
  really acknowledge me. She just kind of sits and
• 1:19:50
  repeats the phrase over and over again.
• 1:19:52
  He wouldn't hurt, I guess, if you delivered the food.
• 1:19:56
  But I, I tried to talk to her. She hasn't responded, you know.
• 1:20:00
  You know, we just, I think this hits a little hard, little like
• 1:20:04
  deeply to the two of us because we've got we've got this friend
• 1:20:08
  over here and he, he keeps, you know, he's been mumbling to
• 1:20:13
  himself a lot these days. And we look over at Abe and.
• 1:20:17
  He's talking to Bunty in his head.
• 1:20:20
  It's like Bunty, if I eat the grilled onion, you're not going
• 1:20:24
  to get to taste it. Just wait.
• 1:20:28
  Just try eat a raw. One eat a raw one please.
• 1:20:30
  No. Iranian's so good.
• 1:20:35
  So Maeolith looks over and is like, yeah, your friend does
• 1:20:39
  look a little unwell. Yeah, if we greatly appreciate
• 1:20:44
  it. You're being very kind right
• 1:20:45
  now. So would you mind if we just,
• 1:20:48
  you know, gave her her food? Do you mind if we bring our
• 1:20:51
  friend with us just so we can keep an eye on him too?
• 1:20:54
  Bo, give me another persuasion check with advantage.
• 1:20:59
  That's a 2. I'll give you guidance on this
• 1:21:01
  also if I. Do on the first roll, but shout
• 1:21:06
  out to the 2 crew. So that's two twos.
• 1:21:09
  So that's a total of 8. You could add AD 4.
• 1:21:14
  Give me your sleight of hand or Deception bond as you cast this
• 1:21:19
  spell. Let's just pray, all right?
• 1:21:26
  I did it. I prayed and I got a dirty 20.
• 1:21:29
  Nice on sleight of hands. Give me.
• 1:21:31
  That D4 bow. So it goes from an 8 to A9.
• 1:21:36
  Bang. All right, Mealeth turns to you
• 1:21:44
  and goes. You can go if I come with you,
• 1:21:47
  OK. Yeah, no, that's, that's fair.
• 1:21:49
  This is your place. So Mealeth goes to the bar,
• 1:21:53
  whispers something to Rene. She looks over at you guys,
• 1:21:57
  narrowing her eyes, nod slowly and hands this tray for Mialeth
• 1:22:02
  to bring upstairs and they beckon for you to follow them.
• 1:22:07
  Is it OK if we just go like prepare like he just we need to
• 1:22:12
  talk him down a little bit. He can get a little rowdy around
• 1:22:15
  other people. Yeah, Mialeth waits by the
• 1:22:17
  stairs as you as you get a prepared.
• 1:22:21
  Like he's a dog that humps people's legs or something.
• 1:22:27
  All right, we're going to. We're going to walk over to aid.
• 1:22:30
  Hey, guys. I'm going to say.
• 1:22:32
  Just really quickly did you figure out why Bunty doesn't
• 1:22:35
  have a body? Because I don't know if I can
• 1:22:36
  keep dealing with this. I think Bunty said it right.
• 1:22:39
  He's like, he's a creature, so. I know, but is there a way to
• 1:22:42
  like get him out? I think once we leave, yeah,
• 1:22:46
  once we leave, it should be fine.
• 1:22:48
  But Abe, all right, listen, we're going to bring you in.
• 1:22:52
  You can ask as many questions as you want.
• 1:22:55
  You can talk about whatever you want.
• 1:22:56
  But the caveat is you also have to act a little crazy.
• 1:23:00
  So can you also just respond to Bunty when he talks to you?
• 1:23:04
  We, we just, there's, there's a woman up there who's been
• 1:23:07
  repeating phrases that was lost in the Verrillian shards, like
• 1:23:11
  your family. I I cuff his mouth as as Bob.
• 1:23:15
  Says that. That's like that's.
• 1:23:18
  Like we, we have the chance to talk to her and you can join us,
• 1:23:23
  of course. And I think it makes perfect
• 1:23:25
  sense for you to ask a billion questions and and say 1,000,000
• 1:23:28
  crazy things like you usually do, but you just also have to to
• 1:23:31
  talk to yourself a little bit, OK?
• 1:23:33
  Bunty, you got that Do. You think you can talk to
• 1:23:35
  yourself? We need, we need a mid level
• 1:23:38
  crazy right now, yeah. Mid level, I can do that, I can
• 1:23:41
  do that, but. Like, you know.
• 1:23:43
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK, so you guys head over to
• 1:23:47
  Mialeth who guide you up these creaky wooden stairs.
• 1:23:51
  And as we're walking. Those are.
• 1:23:53
  I I do a little hop and I click my boots together.
• 1:23:55
  I'm so excited this is. Crazy Mialeth clocks that and is
• 1:24:00
  like yeah, this bitch crazy. So goes up to the second floor
• 1:24:06
  and they lead you all the way down to the hallway to a room on
• 1:24:09
  the left and put a key in and opens up the door.
• 1:24:15
  What you see is a middle-aged blue dragon born woman sitting
• 1:24:18
  in a rocking chair staring out a window.
• 1:24:21
  Her eyes are glassy as she stares right ahead.
• 1:24:25
  Everyone give me a hearing based perception check. 6 From me 23.
• 1:24:32
  24. So you 2 hear Saronica and she
• 1:24:36
  was chosen and she was chosen and she was chosen and she was
• 1:24:42
  chosen as she rocks back and forth.
• 1:24:44
  I'm going to I'm going to nudge Bond slightly and say you might
• 1:24:47
  want to show her Nick's Shard at some point.
• 1:24:51
  Yeah. And as Sarvani is doing this
• 1:24:54
  bond, give me an additional perception check real quick.
• 1:24:59
  That's a Nat 20. Bond You notice her clock you as
• 1:25:05
  you walk through the door and her head turns all the way
• 1:25:08
  towards you and Mialeth goes, do you know her?
• 1:25:13
  She doesn't really. This is like the most like
• 1:25:17
  conscious she's seemed. And Servani goes she starts to
• 1:25:21
  screech and she was chosen as the high priestess.
• 1:25:25
  This is this Mirror Lady of Breath, and she was chosen as
• 1:25:28
  the High Priestess of this Mirror Lady of Breath.
• 1:25:32
  I cast the Nyx Shard and I so I'm going to, in this case
• 1:25:37
  actually cast Dancing Lights, which is one of the spells that
• 1:25:41
  it's the can trip that comes with my subclass.
• 1:25:44
  So this is kind of like the more intense version of the Nix Shard
• 1:25:48
  where I cast 4 Nix shards and together they make a bigger one.
• 1:25:53
  They sort of dance and then make a larger Nix Shard.
• 1:25:57
  And so it sheds dim light in its head foot radius and I'm going
• 1:26:01
  to use my bonus action to sort of move it over towards her.
• 1:26:05
  As you do that, she jumps out of her chair with me.
• 1:26:10
  Let's startle goes backwards as if this has never happened
• 1:26:13
  before. And Sarvani dashes over to you
• 1:26:17
  Bon and clasps your outstretched left hand, the one that the nick
• 1:26:23
  Shard came from the one with the pocket watch and starts
• 1:26:27
  whispering. She was shows that high
• 1:26:30
  priestess scale song and she was shows that high priestess scale
• 1:26:32
  song. And she's like rubbing her hand
• 1:26:34
  against yours and her scales are kind of rubbing against your
• 1:26:37
  pocket watch. And she removes her hand and
• 1:26:40
  Bond your pocket watch was silver.
• 1:26:43
  It's always been silver. You saw pictures of your
• 1:26:46
  grandfather, Bond tools senior having a silver pocket watch and
• 1:26:50
  paintings. But as Sarvani grabs her hand
• 1:26:53
  away, it becomes bronze. And Sarvani whispers to you in
• 1:26:58
  your ear. It had a spell to hide what it
• 1:27:00
  was, but you can never really hide.
• 1:27:04
  You are half whirlwind, but what another half are you?
• 1:27:06
  What other half are you? What other half are you?
• 1:27:09
  You are half Whirlwind, but what other half are you?
• 1:27:12
  I look at the the pocket watch change.
• 1:27:15
  I'm I'm a little baffled by this, but I reach out and I give
• 1:27:22
  her a hug and just kind of hold her tight and say it's OK.
• 1:27:29
  My name is Bontul GAIL Song Whirlwind.
• 1:27:33
  It's OK. She grasps you tightly, not not
• 1:27:37
  constrictively, but in like a warm embrace, and goes whispers
• 1:27:41
  in your ear. You have haffling blood in that
• 1:27:43
  trout body of yours. You have haffling blood in that
• 1:27:45
  trout body of yours. You have the power of goddess in
• 1:27:47
  that blood. You have the power of the
• 1:27:49
  goddess in the blood. Keep your blood safe.
• 1:27:51
  Keep your blood safe. Keep it close to you, keep it
• 1:27:53
  close to you. Get what I lost, Get what I
• 1:27:55
  lost. When the Tyrant strips the walls
• 1:27:58
  and the ink is turned to ash, the light will strike the empty
• 1:28:01
  stone to yield my hidden stash. When the Tyrant strips the walls
• 1:28:05
  and the ink is turned to ash, the light will strike the empty
• 1:28:08
  stone to yield my hidden stash. And she lets go of you, almost
• 1:28:13
  in a fog, and makes her way back to the rocking chair in silence,
• 1:28:19
  sits down and starts rocking back and forth and whispering
• 1:28:23
  with her eyes straight ahead with glossy eyes.
• 1:28:24
  And she whispers, and she was chosen and she was chosen and
• 1:28:30
  she was chosen. And that's where we're going to
• 1:28:33
  end this session. Oh.
• 1:28:35
  My God, I know Abe say something crazy.
• 1:28:41
  Sweet noodles, chicken and jello.
• 1:28:45
  Chicken feet and jello. It just didn't seem like a good
• 1:28:48
  time for me to say it's totally fair.
• 1:28:51
  She kind of just popped off. Yeah, Damn.
• 1:28:54
  Okay, incredible. What a fun episode.
• 1:28:58
  Dude that sea shanty was so good.
• 1:29:00
  You didn't have to go that hard that.
• 1:29:02
  Was amazing. The iambic pentameter was on
• 1:29:05
  point. Thank you.
• 1:29:07
  Thank you. I don't, I don't think I've ever
• 1:29:10
  seen AD and D bar scene that was as good and like enveloping as
• 1:29:15
  that. I'm glad.
• 1:29:18
  I don't know if this is embarrassing to say, but I like
• 1:29:20
  did practice that at home and I don't know if you could see me.
• 1:29:24
  On. Video.
• 1:29:25
  But I was like, I had to swing my arm to the beat to make sure
• 1:29:28
  I wasn't off. Beat when you hit the extraction
• 1:29:31
  part of the thing. I was impressed at how well you
• 1:29:34
  got that out because you had to get it out quite quickly.
• 1:29:37
  Yeah, I sound like. A crazy.
• 1:29:39
  He actually got up. He was doing the jerk.
• 1:29:42
  He's the. Jerk.
• 1:29:43
  And then he started doing the Dougie.
• 1:29:46
  Thank you on that shit. Yeah, you guys all missed it on
• 1:29:49
  the podcast. Yeah, anybody who's listening,
• 1:29:52
  it was we. Were we were so flabbergasted we
• 1:29:54
  didn't even mention it at the time, but.
• 1:29:57
  Incredible. Well, if you like the podcast,
• 1:30:01
  make sure to follow and rate US on Spotify or Apple Music or
• 1:30:04
  join us on our social media for updates, official art and more.
• 1:30:08
  We're on Instagram at smooth Critical podcast and Blue sky at
• 1:30:11
  Smooth Critical. We'll talk to you later.
• 1:30:14
  Bye. Bye.