Latest / UNMASKED with Wesley Farnsworth / The Fear of Being Found Out

Transcript

The Fear of Being Found Out · UNMASKED with Wesley Farnsworth

• 0:03
  Let me ask you something, and I don't want you to answer
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  quickly. I don't want the version of the
• 0:10
  answer that you've learned to give.
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  I want you to sit with it long enough that it feels
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  uncomfortable. What would happen if people
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  really knew you? Not the version that shows up
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  when everything is fine. Not the version of you that
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  knows how to smile, nod, and say the right things at the right
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  time. I mean the real you.
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  The version of you that exists when nobody is watching.
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  The thoughts that you don't say out loud, the struggles that you
• 0:38
  don't bring up in conversation. The habits, fears, questions,
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  and battles that you quietly manage on your own.
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  What would happen if that version of you was seen?
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  For a lot of people, the answer isn't peace.
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  It's fear. And that fear, the fear of being
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  found out, ends up shaping far more of our lives than we
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  realize. It determines what we share and
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  what we hide. It shapes how close we let
• 1:02
  people get. It affects how honest we are
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  with God. And often, it quietly keeps us
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  stuck. Today, we're going to talk about
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  that fear. Not to shame it, not to rush
• 1:14
  past it, but to understand it and begin moving beyond it.
• 1:20
  Welcome to Unmasked, the podcast where we take off the masks that
• 1:23
  we hide behind and step into the kind of honesty that leads to
• 1:28
  real freedom. I'm your host, Wesley
• 1:30
  Farnsworth, and today we're beginning a brand new miniseries
• 1:34
  called From Hiding to Helping. And in this first episode, we're
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  naming something almost everyone experiences but very few people
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  talk about openly. The fear of being found out.
• 1:46
  This is the fear that keeps us guarded, the fear that convinces
• 1:50
  us silence is safer than honesty, the fear that whispers
• 1:54
  if they really knew, everything would change.
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  Let's talk about where that fear comes from and what it costs and
• 2:01
  why. The very things that we're
• 2:02
  hiding are often the things that God wants to heal the most.
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  So pull up a chair and let's dig in.
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  This is unmasked. Most people don't hide because
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  they're trying to deceive anyone.
• 2:19
  They hide because they're trying to survive.
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  Hiding is rarely about dishonesty.
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  It's actually about protection. Somewhere along the way, many of
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  us learned that to be fully known was risky.
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  It felt risky. Maybe you opened up once to
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  someone and they judged you. Maybe honesty cost you trust,
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  position, or relationship. Maybe you grew up in an
• 2:48
  environment where weakness wasn't safe and questions were
• 2:52
  not welcomed. Struggles were meant to be
• 2:55
  handled quietly. So you adapt.
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  You learned how much of yourself was acceptable.
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  You learned which parts of your story to share and which parts
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  to keep locked away. You learned how to manage
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  perception, how to give just enough vulnerability to appear
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  authentic without ever feeling exposed.
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  And over time, that hiding became normal.
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  Not dramatic hiding. Not obvious secrecy.
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  Subtle hiding. Respectable hiding.
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  The kind that looks like strength.
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  The kind that looks like responsibility.
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  The kind that looks like having it all together.
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  The kind that earns respect but quietly drains your soul because
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  hiding takes energy. Say there's a unique kind of
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  exhaustion that comes from pretending.
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  It's not physical tiredness. It's not even emotional burnout.
• 4:03
  It's soul level fatigue. It's that tired that comes from
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  constantly monitoring yourself, filtering your words, editing
• 4:14
  your story, and making sure that nothing slips out that might
• 4:18
  change how people see you. It's the tired that settles in
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  when you realize you're surrounded by people, but you
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  still feel unseen, and the longer that goes on, the heavier
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  it gets. Hiding doesn't drain energy, it
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  slowly erodes joy. You stop laughing freely, you
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  stop resting deeply. You stop praying honestly, you
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  stop believing freedom is possible for you, and you begin
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  to assume that everyone else gets to live unburdened while
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  you you just manage underneath. The fear of being found out is
• 5:07
  almost always a lie. It sounds different for each of
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  us, but it leads to the same place.
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  If people really knew, they wouldn't understand.
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  If people really knew, they'd judge me.
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  If people really knew, they'd walk away.
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  If people really knew, I would lose everything.
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  And for some people, the most painful version of that lie
• 5:35
  sounds like this. If God really knew, he would be
• 5:40
  disappointed. That lie keeps people silent for
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  years. It keeps them praying safe
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  prayers. It keeps them sharing surface
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  level struggles. It keeps them believing the
• 5:56
  transformation is for everyone else but them.
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  It convinces them that if they could just clean themselves up a
• 6:03
  little bit more than maybe, just maybe, they'd be worthy of
• 6:08
  healing. See.
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  But Scripture tells us a different story.
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  Proverbs says that whoever conceals their sin does not
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  prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces it finds
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  mercy. Notice where the verse ends.
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  Not with punishment, not with rejection, but with mercy.
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  Fear tells us that exposure leads to destruction, but when
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  it in reality, concealment is what ends up keeping us stuck.
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  Jesus talks about this in John 3 when he says that people avoid
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  the light not because the light is bad, but because they're
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  afraid of what it will reveal. Light doesn't create the
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  problem. Light reveals what's already
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  there, and the enemy is incredibly effective at
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  convincing us that darkness is safer.
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  But darkness doesn't protect wounds, it infects them.
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  What stays hidden doesn't heal, it hardens.
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  Light feels terrifying at first, trust me, I know.
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  But it is the only environment where restoration happens.
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  There is a season in my life where I was doing all the right
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  things on the outside. I was serving in church, I was
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  leading, I was helping others, I was showing up consistently.
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  But internally there were parts of me that stayed hidden.
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  Not because I didn't love God, not because I didn't want to
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  grow, but because I believed that I needed to fix myself
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  before I let anyone else see the mess.
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  So certain struggles stayed private, certain fears stayed
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  unspoken, certain battles stayed internal.
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  And I told myself I was being responsible, but what I was
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  really doing was suffocating my own soul.
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  I wasn't letting the light in, I was keeping the things in the
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  darkness. You cannot heal what you refuse
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  to reveal. Let me say that again.
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  You cannot heal what you choose to keep hidden and you refuse to
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  reveal. Hiding doesn't actually make you
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  safe, it makes you lonely. When no one knows the real you,
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  you slowly start believing that the real you is unlovable, and
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  that belief shapes everything. Hiding doesn't just affect your
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  relationships with people, it affects your relationship with
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  God too. You stop praying honestly.
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  You stop bringing your full self to Him.
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  You start editing your prayers the same way that you edit your
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  conversations with others. But God never asked for a
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  curated version of you. He asked for you.
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  Scripture says that the Lord is close to the broken hearted.
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  Not the polished, not the impressive, the broken hearted.
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  God is not intimidated by what you're hiding.
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  He's not surprised by it. Grace doesn't activate through
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  pretending. Grace activates through honesty.
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  You're hiding things that he already knows.
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  So be honest with him and receive his grace.
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  The journey from hiding to helping doesn't begin with
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  telling everyone everything. It begins with one step, one
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  honest prayer, one honest sentence, one moment where you
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  stop pretending. Somewhere you start being able
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  to say that I'm not OK. I'm tired of hiding.
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  I need help. Those words, they're terrifying
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  to say. I know I've been there, but
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  those words are so powerful because the moment that you say
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  them, you stop fighting alone. So I want you to take a moment
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  right now and I want you to ask yourself, and I want you to be
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  gentle but also honest with yourself and ask, where am I
• 11:04
  hiding? What part of my life do I work
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  the hardest to keep unseen? What fear is keeping me silent,
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  and what by God want to heal if I stopped hiding it?
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  You don't have to answer out loud.
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  I can't hear you, obviously, but it's important that you're
• 11:32
  honest with yourself, because honesty with yourself is the
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  very first step towards freedom. As we close out today, here's
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  your invitation for the week ahead.
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  Name the hiding. Not publicly, not dramatically,
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  just between you and God, and maybe, just maybe, one safe
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  person. You don't have to solve anything
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  yet. You don't have to explain
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  everything yet. Just think about those questions
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  and when you come up with an answer, be honest with yourself,
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  be honest with God, and maybe share that answer with one other
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  person. Just stop pretending because
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  hiding is heavy and you were never meant to carry the weight
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  forever. Next week we're going to talk
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  about what? Next week, we're going to talk
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  about what often keeps us hidden even after we want to change the
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  prison of perfection. We'll explore how image
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  management limits the work that God wants us to do, and why your
• 12:54
  weakness might actually be the doorway to a deeper freedom.
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  Until then, remember this, You are not disqualified by what you
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  hide, but you are delayed by it, and the freedom begins the
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  moment that you stop pretending and you choose to live unmasked.
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  God bless you.