Latest / The Steve & Jeff Show / S3 E2 - Positive Campaigning, Part 1

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S3 E2 - Positive Campaigning, Part 1 · The Steve & Jeff Show

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Steve and Jeff Show, the first comedy podcast in the history of the world.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_01: Assuming the world began when I started talking.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_02: Be sure and follow or subscribe to the Steve and Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_02: Write us a review while you're there too.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: And now, here's Steve and Jeff.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: Well, hey Johnny, thanks for another great introduction.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_01: And Jeff, great to be back in the studio on this fall night.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's autumnal, is it not?
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: You know what?
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: I just want to share something with you while I have a top of mind.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: I know you shouldn't say how's it going, but well, you can say that later.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: That's fine.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, okay.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: But last night I was watching TV and I put on Netflix and there's a new series out called Monsters.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Have you seen the previews of that?
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: I have heard about it, but I have not seen it.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's the Lyle and Eric Menendez Melendez Menendez story.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: I forget how to print it.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: Those guys, yeah, the two the brothers, yeah.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: The ones that that lived in Carbondale at SIU, where I, you know, I went to school.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: Their father went there.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's such a small world.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: It really is.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know, yeah, we already seemed like such good guys, too.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, we're just six degrees from anybody.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I bet I'm I bet I'm remotely related to Jack the Ripper, you know.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I think we both know that we came fairly close to Jeffrey Dahmer.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: We did a little while back.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, we're all related to Charlemagne.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you know, if you're from Europe, you're related to Charlemagne.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: Let's just face it.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: Go on.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: We are, but otherwise, things are good.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's the political season.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody's thinking about the presidential election.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: And so, anyways, how are you doing?
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: Speaking of that political season that we're in, I was reading there's this new book out by Bob Woodward, All the President's Men Fame and all that.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, uh-huh.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: It's a book about Trump.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: Woodward, really top journalists.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, Jeff, we're good journalists, but this guy really wrote the book literally on journalism, right?
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: And so he gives a really close look at the moves, the ploys, the tricks, the trades, the conspiracies, both before and during the White House years.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't read it, I haven't even heard about it, but I'm assuming it's interesting and unique.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: Trump's presidency was very unique.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: So anything stand out about it that uh that you can remember?
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: There are a lot of great stories in there, and I really recommend it.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_01: But there's one that really jumped out at me is as an aside here, not to digress too fully, but because I'll do that later.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: But you you remember as a kid, you know, a big thing you try to write your name in P on snow.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: I have done that, you know, where good blanket of snow and it hasn't been touched.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: You go up on a hill and there's no and nobody's walked up there.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: He says, Oh, I know what I can do.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: And and you try to write your name in P.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: Well, turns out in December, right around Christmas, in fact, 2019, when you know he's in the White House.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: Near the end, he was looking out from the Oval Office, and you know, the background you always see during those speeches, that's the window.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: Well, he was looking out that window, right?
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: The one you always see, right?
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: And on the South Lawn, I think it is, of the White House, and he could see that somebody had written in P you know facing the window, so that you'd read it if you were in the window.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: You could it'd be upside down if you were on the sidewalk, but you're in the window, you'd read it right there.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: And somebody had written Trump sucks.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: In P in the snow.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_01: Well, as you can imagine, he flipped out.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: I bet he was pissed.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: Well, he he was he was so pissed.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: He was so pissed.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know, and it was only one in the morning, so it was too early for Twitter.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's like three in the morning, you know.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_01: He didn't want to start that until you know late at the right time.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: So he calls the Secret Service, demands an investigation.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: They run out, they do an investigation, and you know, a couple days later, they come back and they say, Yeah, the head of Secret Service comes back and says, you know, I've got some I got some good news and some bad news.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: First of good news.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: Good news is we did DNA testing on the urines.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that does they they got all kinds of they are all kinds of tools there.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: Have to remember that next time I pee on somebody's lawn.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, next time you're gonna do that, or they DNA testing, you know.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: They found who did it.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: Turns out it was Mike Pence.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: It was his urine, it was Mike Pence's urine.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: So Trump, okay, uh chorus goes on that traitor, make a note, make a note.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna have him hanged.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: Let's see, we could hang him.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: He flips his book, you know.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: How about January 6th?
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: What are you doing?
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: We could hang him that day, right?
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: So then he says, Wait, you said there was bad news.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, the Secret Service says, Yes, it's Mike Pence's P, but it's Melania's handwriting.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you know, how because it's in, you know.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, no.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: I I think I I I get it.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you're okay.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: I just I wasn't sure if it yeah, you know, if the point was made.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, okay, yeah.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: But so this book is just chock full of great little stories like that.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: I think Woodward's really, really outdone himself.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, he's written some good books, but oh man, this one, you know, an old guy too.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: I got a hand it.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_01: Anytime an old guy does something good, we really almost every day see an old guy doing something really, really bad.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: It seems like in the old days, was it Profiles and Courage?
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: Was that what JFK wrote?
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: In those times they were like positive uplifting stories.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: Was there anything else in the book besides uh besides that story?
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you know, there was another was another great story too.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_01: Whether it's positive and uplifting, I'll leave that up to you.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: But it is a great story.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_01: This one was in the White House, and he and Pence are sitting in the uh situation room.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: Is this before Pence peed on his lawn?
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: He didn't say.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not totally sure.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: It's probably around the same time.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's probably around the same time, might be right right before that, maybe.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: But you know, they're in there and they're talking about foreign policy.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: Foreign policy, of course, one of the important things that any president has to deal with is our relations with other countries can be very delicate sometimes, you know.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: So he's there in the situation room with Pence, and they're talking about some and they start laughing.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: So Mike Pompeo walks in, and you know, Mike Pompeo, you're Secretary of State.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: He uh I understand that he has already applied for the job of head librarian at Leavenworth.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: So I he's he's he always said he liked to be ahead of the game, yeah, you know, pays to be ready, you know.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so he walks in, hears him laughing, and says, Yeah, I heard you guys laughing.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_01: I wanted to see what was so funny.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: Trump says, We're planning World War III.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: So Pompeo is not against it.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: He says, Oh, hey, what are the plans?
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: He all a little excited, you know.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: So Trump says, We're gonna kill 14 million Muslims and a dentist.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: So Pompeo, a little confused, says, Hey, why the dentist?
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_01: So then they both laugh again, Trump and Pence.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: They laugh, and Pence slaps Trump on the back and says, Hey, I told you nobody'd ask about the Muslims.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: That's not exactly uplifting.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: No, well, you know, consider the topic, there's not gonna be a lot of uplifting in this book.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: But it's a great book, though.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: But there is room for a positive view of people.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_01: I am so glad you said that, Jeff, because I think what we can do tonight is be the serious journalists that we are, in addition to the funny guys.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you know, we do some some real some real journalism tonight and keep it on more of a positive side.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's not too late to give a positive spin to this whole election, which you know you know, hasn't looked not a lot of positive things out there thus far, you know.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: I think that negative stories are interesting, but they drain you energy-wise, yeah.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: And and it it works the opposite way when you talk about positive traits, then it kind of uplifts you.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's a great idea.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: I think we should do that.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, I think we kind of already have.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: We already have, in fact, Jeff.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I think what we're gonna do as journalists here, we have put together a list of positive things about each candidate.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: And we had a spectator at one of our shows draw, and Kamala Harris won the draw, so she is going to go first.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: Great, and we're just going to review some of the positive points, some of the things that are good about each of the candidates.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I hopefully this is really going to raise the level.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: It, you know, I think it you made a great point.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: Even if it doesn't raise the level of the campaign, it raises our level.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_01: It's good for us.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's all right.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: Let's just do it, Jeff.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: Why don't you dive right in and start with Kamala's list here?
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it's our list, but it's a list, our list about Kamala.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's kind of like you know, those cooking shows on TV where they like prepare the pie and then they turn around, they open the oven because it's already been baking.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, the thing baked like today.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of like we're doing that.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: So we're sort of doing that.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: So we're putting together a list that's already been put together.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, yes, number one.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we're going to do it, we're going to do it as serious journalists.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: Well, yes.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_01: Asking the serious questions.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes, but I digress.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: Go ahead.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, good.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: The first thing on our list is that Kamala Harris is a very strong woman.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: Just give a couple of reasons why you'd say that.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: One is that she's a good role model for other women through a man's world has climbed to the top.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that that makes her a good role model, and she has a good temperament, and she has a different temperament than a man, which I think makes her important.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's that's a perspective that we we don't currently have.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: Well, now, Jeff, as serious journalists, we do have to ask, yes, okay, she's a strong woman, but I bet she can't bench press more than a couple hundred pounds.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's true.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I know we're being positive, yeah, but I bet I bet she doesn't even play golf.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we have to ask the hard questions.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, if you're gonna be strong, did she really lift weights at the gym?
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you know, come and we have to ask the really critical questions, right?
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: And the key here is we don't want to just start complimenting her without a foundation.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: So exactly.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: So we may have to come back to this list later and just kind of update it.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: But yes, definitely this first point.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: There are some questions about it, although overall I think she is a relatively strong person.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: Would you agree?
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yes.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, what's the next point there, Jeff?
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: Well, the next one, I'm gonna get in all kinds of trouble because it feels sort of sexist.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know which one of us put this on the list, but it was that she's as cute as a button.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: Which oh no, I'm allergic to buttons, it wasn't me.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a zipper guy, I am totally zippers and velcro.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think that may have something to do with her being younger, plus being side by side with Tim, her running.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I think that kind of makes her look uh a little cuter, but she has a really cute smile and she dresses kind of like a regular person.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_01: Let's face it, maybe she just looks cuter because we've been looking at 90-year-old men who were who have no brains left, right?
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, compared to them, yeah, yeah.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_01: She's she's beautiful.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, she's young, she's a kid, a mere 60.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: And just to kind of cap this off, she also has a really cool laugh, and she laughs like she's stoned.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I like that.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: That was, I think, my idea, Steve.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: I think my point.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: So, anyways, should we go to number three?
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, let's go to number three here.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: Kamala is younger than most of our current political leaders, which is kind of a continuation of what you said before.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_01: I did some math on this because you know I did a little better on the IQ on the math section of the IQ test, you know.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_01: So I did some math on this, and she actually brings the average age of candidates in this election down to 70.3.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_01: That's a big jump.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_01: It was 79.8 before.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_01: It's really it's improved quite a bit.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's important because she, you know, there's all kinds of things like technology being younger, she's probably better with technology.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, people who are also young relate to her a little better than you know, looking at somebody who could be your grandfather or great-grandfather.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and also probably most importantly, she's young enough to understand that she needs to legalize marijuana federally.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, absolutely.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that's yeah, so that's number three.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's a very strong point, I think.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: Don't you agree?
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, what's number four?
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: Kamala is extremely qualified to be president.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: Hmm.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_01: Ah, well, you know, though, Jeff, just thinking as a critical journalist here, and I I'm a regular reader of the New York Times, so you know I'm I'm serious with I understand that she only got an A-minus in AP differential equations as a high school sophomore.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: So that's qualified.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: Also, Steve, I don't want to nitpick here, but can she not hold a job?
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because she's done all these jobs, you know.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: She like worked as a prosecutor in the state of California, and then she ran for Senate, the Senate and won that, and then he she became vice president, and now she's trying to be president.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: You know, when I look at a resume, when I I do hiring, I don't like to see a lot of jumping around.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: She hasn't had a job really for more than I don't know, five to seven years.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: About five years, yeah.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: About five years, and that's not good.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_01: So now, okay, now there is the argument that hey, each job got better, right?
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, there is that, but still, yes, lots of jobs.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, some candidates have been running the same criminal organization, I mean business, for decades.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: That's absolutely true.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, so I think I think that's one we may want to revisit again because it's hard to measure what makes you qualify.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: Don't you agree?
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_01: Well, now, as a prosecutor, though, how's she gonna treat marijuana?
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I didn't even really think of that.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: That makes me a little nervous.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: The only thing I could say about that is that she knows the difference between hard crimes and smoking pot.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: So hopefully she'll she'll know when to lay off and when to go full blessed.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like you know, she tried to overthrow an election or you know, or that somebody tried to do that, or that they molested anyone.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's just getting high.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm hoping that she's gonna use good judgment.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_01: Don't you think as a prosecutor?
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_01: She probably knows the distinction between all those different alleged offenses.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_01: Alleged, yes.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, alleged.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: So let's see, number two.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, what's that five?
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: We could use somebody with the perspective of middle class America since she came from there.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_01: No, wait, wait, did Oakland get a promotion to middle class?
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: I missed that.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: Going to Oakland on Southwest, and I remember immediately going to San Francisco, immediately regretting the airplane.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, remember that.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_01: I've been to that airport.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: Airport's not bad, but don't leave the airport.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: I think the point might be that you know, she went to like a state school, and you know, it's like I don't know how many of the people in the White House went to Ivy League schools.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: It seems like everybody has, right?
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: It does seem to be a real pattern, yeah.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, even like Bill Clinton went to an Ivy League school because you know they have hot chicks, yeah, Ivy League chicks.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm sure that was his motivation to do that.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: But but anyway, so it's kind of like us.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, like you went to Iowa, right?
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I went to school in Illinois, and so it just she just feels like one of us.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_01: And uh and and no, when you say one of us, that's not in the same sense as like in that movie Freaks, you know, one of us, one of us, we accept or we, you know, you're not you're not saying that, are you?
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I'm not saying that.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying that okay.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, and and then of course we can't forget that the main thing about being middle class is that you just get stoned all the time.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's gotta be for that.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_01: You can afford good stuff, you know, decent stuff, right?
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: If you're middle class, you know, it's yeah.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: I I do have to point out that maybe if we're talking about being like us, eating like us, Trump might win that comparison because we as middle class just eat like shit.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, we're eating fast food all the time and KFC and hamburgers and that kind of stuff.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I think Trump may have the edge on that.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: I gotta admit, I haven't eaten like that since I was nine years old, and most people I know haven't, but there are a few that keep it uh going well into their 70s, pushing their 80s.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_01: Hard to believe.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: The next one her running mate offers diversity in experience.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: Ah, yes.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: I think this has to do with Tim Walls, her running mate.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: Because wasn't he like a farmer or was raised on a farmer?
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_01: Raised on a farm, I think, or a little town or something.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I think adding someone who had coached football on the high school level in Minnesota brings a significant diversity to the ticket, to our politics.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_01: Can you imagine W.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_01: Bush coaching high school football in Minnesota?
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_01: No, come on.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_01: Even I mean, even let's go back in time.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_01: Eisenhower, could you see him even doing it?
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_01: No, I mean it really changes the the map, the picture, you know?
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: And and I'm glad you brought up Eisenhower because I have to think back, and maybe you can help me with this.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: I guess JFK may be the last one, but I'm not quite sure.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: Have we had somebody who served in the military in the White House since uh JFK?
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, Nixon did.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he was in the Navy and Reagan.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_01: Well, Reagan made movies for the Army.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's true.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: That's true.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: He wore a uniform in a lot of great films.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that Bellcast of the Navy.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, there you go.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_01: You and Nancy were both in that one.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_01: Oh man.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: That's a positive.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: And let's not forget that while Tim was governor of of Minnesota, he legalized marijuana.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, well, there you go.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: The only criticism I would give of Tim is that I'm not quite sure he was eligible to be governor of Minnesota because he was born in Nebraska.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and did he did he move the right way?
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, did he just like go across the border?
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, come on.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_01: Is is that considered being an illegal immigrant?
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_01: Minnesota would consider it such, yes.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_01: So yes, Nebraska is a is a well-worn path.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_01: There's a the signs, you know, trail to Minnesota here, you know.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so I'm not a lawyer, I don't know the details of that, but that's another benefit of having our president be a prosecutor because she can figure that out.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: And if she has to put Tim in jail as a result of that, I'm sure she would do it.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, oh yeah.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: Next one.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: Kamala Harris is a dynamic communicator, inspirational.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we we named a few like Obama and Reagan and Kennedy, those were all inspirational, and we've had a few that weren't very inspirational.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and so I think it would be it'd be great to have somebody who is just so charismatic.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_01: When you say a dynamic communicator, I I think one key essential with that, and perhaps she looks like such a great dynamic communicator because she speaks in you know, complete sentences, their English, their words, they actually say something.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_01: We haven't seen that in so long.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: No, it's been a really long time.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's been a a real drought of like intelligent conversation.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: And if she is getting high all the time, she's managed to be able to get high and still be articulate, a good communicator, and that's my goal.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, a high functioning high.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_01: High functioning high is a great way to live.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: Next one.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: She supports a woman's right to choose what she wants to do with her own body.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: And this one is, you know, it's well publicized, you know, her position on women's rights, and that certainly is a positive thing.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_01: You know, what I'm wondering is, can she keep the Supreme Court from doing something to all of our bodies?
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's a good question.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_01: Supreme Court technically is a body, so would she respect the right of the Supreme Court to say, for example, that certain people are above the law?
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_01: Good point.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_01: Very good point.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I don't know.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: Kind of overrated that women should have a right to do with what they want with their own bodies because now the Supreme Court does that for them.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_01: Well, exactly.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's a you know, nice benefit, you know.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's kind of like automation, you know.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_01: It's like it was a lot of work to decide what to do, and so they just want to tell us.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_01: And they're telling us, Oh, well, no, I don't have to think.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, cool.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_01: I'll do that's right then.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's right.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_01: Just makes it so much easier.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: Next one, she'll solve the immigration problem.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: You know, she's in California.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: She'll start with that guy Tim Walls, that Nebraska, yeah, from Nebraska.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_01: Send him back to Nebraska.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, oh yeah.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: She's from California, which deals with immigration issues, anyways.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, I know that that's important to her and deal with the people that are already here.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm sure she'll show compassion and all of that.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't know.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_01: What do you think?
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_01: I really hope that they fix the immigration problem and keep the immigration flowing because you know, Jeff, somebody has to fund our Social Security.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_01: Come on.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, right.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_01: Well, yeah, we need them.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_01: Bring them in.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_01: Come on, put them to work.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: I hate to say this, but it's kind of too late.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, if you look at the way immigration is right now and who's in this country, do you realize how many Irish policemen and firemen there are in Chicago?
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: Not to mention Irish bars.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's already integrated into every everywhere I turn, that's what I see.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: If you ask me, the the you know, the cat's already out of the bag.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, absolutely.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: Next one, she checks off so many diversity boxes.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what that means.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: Do you have an idea?
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_01: Well, because there it's there are boxes and then there are a lot of boxes and that makes them diverse because they're different boxes.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: I see.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, you're right, Jeff.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, hey, she's you know, she's female, she's part black, she's part Indian, she's part, you know, her husband's Jewish.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_01: But I guess the key question as an incisive journalist, the key question that I have to ask is is she Armenian?
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_01: You know that we've never had an Armenian president.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's time.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, if she could just say, Hey, I did 23andMe and I'm 4% Armenian, all right, cool.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: If you look at President Trump again, I might want to give him the one leg up there because he's got a lot of colors, you know, like brown and white, gold and white.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: Doesn't he have like this yellow look about him?
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: That yellow and white?
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he's definitely projecting kind of a mixed ethnicity.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's part white and part, you know, Maybelline, but oh no, wait, Maybelline is the running mate.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_01: I get so confused.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not a big makeup guy.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_01: Max Factor, let's say.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_01: Cover girl.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_00: Kind of reminds me of Halloween, too, because he's got I I heard that when he was making a speech the other day, that you could actually see where his tanning ended and his neck actually with his real color began.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_00: And that's cool.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: That's just cool.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_00: I like that a lot.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_00: You know, yeah, very seasonal.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_00: Very, very seasonal.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: Very seasonal.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the next one.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: It looks like maybe the last one.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: This is the last one, yeah.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_00: So Kamala Harris is a great person.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know how you measure that.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_00: How do you measure great, Steve?
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_01: We were trying to figure this out.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_01: And some of the things, okay, well, she ever went bankrupt.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_01: She never committed a crime.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_01: But Jeff, at the same time, going bankrupt and committing crimes helps you relate to a significant portion of the electorate.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I think maybe again, that's one area that her opponent might have a leg up because he can relate to criminals.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: Life experiences.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_01: He can really share the bankruptcy and the criminality of them, you know, of their lives.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't know.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_01: It might be a toss up there.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_01: I'll call the New York Times.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: We'll find out.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: This might be a weak one because I just don't know what makes somebody great.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_00: I know that Donald Trump is viewed as great by 46% of the country.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: Or at least by Donald Trump.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: Or at least by Don and by Donald Trump.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't quite know that.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_01: And see, if she's great, if she made great again, that's you can be great, but oh, making it great again, ooh, that seems like recreation, or some would pronounce that recreation, perhaps.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_00: I already feel uplifted.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: I already feel great.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_00: I already feel like I just feel positive.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like we've done a really good job of showing the good side, the the qualities that make Kamala so special and why she would make a great president.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I think we've really burned the corner on this election.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_01: We really turned it from sort of a negative feel to a real positive.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_01: That's an important thing to do.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_01: I'm really doing a service for the country.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: I certainly think anyone who really hasn't made up their minds, who isn't 100% sure who they're going to vote for, you know, maybe should do the same thing.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: I think you're right.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm actually going to go back over this myself.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm still up in the air and who I will vote for, hard to believe.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm looking forward to next week and listening to the list of positive qualities of President Trump.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure that will be a pretty amazing thing.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: That will be next week's show.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_01: That'll be next week's show.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_01: We'll do the same thing with Trump.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's great that we still, at least as of the recording of this show, we live in a country where we can do that.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_01: Now, depending, we might not be able to do this show next year, but well, hopefully we will.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm glad we live in a country where we can speak like this about political leaders.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_01: You know, that's not true everywhere around the world.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's not true a lot of places around the world, you know.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, you're so right.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: And in fact, I was just reading about Putin.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: I know Putin is beloved in our country.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_01: Putin is having a moment, and there's another sentence I never thought I'd say.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe he's the definition of a great person.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_00: I don't really see that, but but maybe he qualifies.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not quite sure.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_00: But I was reading that uh Putin was interviewed after their recent elections, and a reporter asked him a question at a press conference.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, he asked, uh, with Hillary Clinton almost becoming president and Kamala Harris being elected vice president of the United States and now running for president, do you think that a Russian woman will ever rise up to the highest office in our great nation and become president?
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_00: President Putin looked at this guy.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure this guy will probably end up in jail at some point.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, I'm glad he got a good look because nobody's gonna see that guy ever again.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_01: That's what I tell you.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_00: But he looked at him and responded immediately with a loud and resounding no without hesitation.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_00: And and that kind of shocked all the reporters.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_00: A second reporter asked, Why do you think that Mr.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_00: Putin?
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that reporter's probably gone too.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, he's oh yeah.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_00: Vladimir Putin said calmly, he looked at the reporter and said, Because I'm not a woman.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_01: Ah, yes.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_01: Key distinction, yes.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_01: It is a little shocking that we had to do a show like this and that that it's really come to this, but I I think we're really doing a service for the voters of America.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, Jeff, I I'm really looking forward to doing this next week with the other candidate.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_01: Typically, we hand it off to Johnny, but who are we gonna give a gift to?
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_01: You know what?
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_01: We did you remember that commercial that Johnny did with about Kamala?
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_01: I do.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_01: You know, that might be a good way to finish this.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_01: Johnny, play that Kamala search commercial.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_03: Kamala is Asian.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_02: Kamala is black.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_03: Asian.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_02: Black.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_02: Stop! You're both right.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_02: I know it bends the brain, but people can be more than one nationality.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_02: Kamala is two.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_02: Two.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_02: Two nationalities in one.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_02: And Kamala comes with a golden drop of Waltzen.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_02: To stay fresh throughout the whole campaign.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_02: If it hurts the head to think of mixed ethnicity, think of all those Irish people who married Germans.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_02: Just like that.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_02: Two nationalities.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_02: Remember, Kamala is two.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_02: Two.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_02: Two nationalities in one.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_02: Paid for by the people who understand origin stories for Freedom Pack, Zoe Kravitz Treasure.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_02: This has been the Citizens United production in association with Alinsky Rules Media.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_02: Be sure and follow or subscribe to the Steven Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_02: Write us a review while you're there too.