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Why doesn’t God answer every prayer? /// FOLLOW · FOLLOW

• 0:02
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome to the follow-up podcast, a podcast that believes at its core, the single most important oriented belief that if Jesus was right about God and life and the human soul, then it would make sense that we rearrange our lives around what he said is true.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_02: So that's what we're exploring.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_02: All that Jesus said was true and how to rearrange our lives around it.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: Where'd you grow up?
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: I grew up in Southern California.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, what was great about growing up in California, Southern California, Carter?
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_02: What did you love about it?
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_02: And how did it shape you?
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: I grew up in a small town called Camarillo in Ventura County between Malibu and Santa Barbara.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: So you had a place cool breeze, 72 degrees every day.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: You had 72 degrees.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: 72 degrees.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: You're close to the water.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: Played travel soccer and basketball.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: And uh it was a great, it's just it was a great, it was a great spot to grow up.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: You're you know, 40 minutes from LA, seven minutes from the beach, um, kind of away from all of the the crazy hustle of LA, um, but close enough to still get there.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_02: So do you ever because you now your sports loyalties are very eclectic, and obviously we've mentioned, forementioned, oftentimes your love for Chicago sports, but you live in an area that I would say is the antithesis of California in Chicago in a bunch of ways, right?
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, I think it's what's funny is in fifth grade, and you could call up Andy or Ken or Troy, uh, we all wanted to purchase those starter puffy jackets, but we were afraid we were gonna all show up to school with the same team.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think it might have been Andy or Troy or someone said we should have a draft.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's a good idea.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: And so we put our names into a hat, and I got the second pick.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_01: Ken got the first pick.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: What year wait what year was this?
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_01: It's fifth grade.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: So this, you know, I mean, I'm like nine or ten years old.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, and so um Ken chose um the Lakers.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: He loved Magic Johnson because of Jordan and WGN, which allowed you the chance to watch the Cubs, and so um I'd come home or during the summer would watch the 120 games.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: So that was a huge piece, and you know, um the Bears uh had won the Super Bowl.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so you know, they were the just the the monsters of Midway, the Super Bowl shuffle, just nothing was cooler than uh the refrigerator Perry and um you know Walter Payton and Jim McMahon.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: So I just kind of adopted Chicago, not ever thinking I ever moved there, uh, but then many years later moved there and felt like it fit hand in glove.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: So okay.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_02: Um Luke, our producer, what was it about uh you you you came from Arizona, the desert.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_02: Then you lived in Southern California.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_02: What what tell me about how that shaped you, so Cal.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_02: Because you talk about Southern California a lot.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so glad you asked, Eric.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_02: Luke doesn't get a mic very much, so this podcast could end up taking a very long time.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_02: But Luke's already screwed it up.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: Uh yeah, yeah, Arizona.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: Born in Scottsdale.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: Uh raised more in Tempe, Chandler area around the ASU realm.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: Uh moved to California when I was 20.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: You you talk about Southern California quite a bit.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: It shaped you a lot.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_02: Uh seems like the water.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah for sure.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_02: What about it?
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I I was I grew up vacationing to Southern California.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: Uh but yeah, moved out there, surfed all the time, uh, spearfished all the time, dove.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: He spearfished.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: Love the water.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_02: Look, we're we're 10 episodes plus in, and I felt like before we pivot out of this is the last episode in our prayer series, it's probably important that people get to know a little bit about the Yahoos that are on the other end of this microphone.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_02: So spearfisher men, which is I mean, it's fine.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_02: Whatever.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_01: California.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_02: Where how how old were you when you were there, Carter?
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: I I mean I was born and raised.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: Born and raised.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: And then I left when I was a sophomore in college, and and for like a year, and then came back, graduated, and then was in Grand Rapids, and then came back for about five years, and then I haven't lived there's been a while since I was 30.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_02: So go back to formative years of your life.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe it's there in California, uh, maybe Arizona, I'm not sure.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_02: But do you ever do you ever remember what's the first prayer you remember asking God for something?
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_02: Do you remember one?
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_02: Do you remember as a kid like something you wanted so bad that you asked God for it?
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: I think the the first the first prayer of like wanting something was you know, you get your allowance and you went straight to the baseball card shop and you opened Upper Decker.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: And you won't that Ken Griffey Jr.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: rookie cards.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't buy only tops, tops only.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_01: But when that I when that Ken Griffey Jr.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: the amount of like prayers that I prayed before I opened, and I had no idea.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_01: I was just like, please, please, please, please, please, please get me this, get me this.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: And no, and you just go through them.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_01: No, all right, four more dollars for a pack.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: You're just like creating a an addict in the midst.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: So good.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: Or I think there was a there was a Christmas run where I wanted a white mongoose bike, like a BMX bike, you know.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: So those both the distinctions.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, in fairness, I did, I did I honestly want some things as a kid, but to be truthful in my mind when I think about what I remember praying for and interceding for was a girl.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_02: First time I remember like legitimately going, God, she's so pretty.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_02: I would really like her to be my girlfriend.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: That's a that's amazing.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: The first thought that jumps in my brain is I came home and it was like it was early November and my and I was I was I was a young kid.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: I might have been like fourth or fifth grade, and I went to a Christian school, but I my parents weren't Christian, they just put me in there.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_01: And my dad was stressed, which wasn't unnormal, but I just said, You okay, dad?
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: And and he said, uh if you want Christmas this year, you better pray that Michael Dukakis doesn't win the election.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: I did not know who was in the election, but I I went upstairs and I prayed, Lord, will Michael Dukakis.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, why would he take Christmas from kids?
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: Will you will you please not strike him down?
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: Like not let him win.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: And then like he didn't win.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I for the longest time I was like, there is a guy.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: Like my friends were heard.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_02: So there's a reason why we're sort of digging into this, because as we turn the corner in our prayer series, so we're in a prayer series, we've been looking at different forms of prayer.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_02: We're we're rounding the corner in the final form of prayer petition, like the stuff that you ask for.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_02: And I just it there's a reason why we put it last versus first, because most often it's the if someone is asked, hey, tell me about what prayer looks like for you, it typically, if they're honest, is about the stuff we ask for.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_02: And we almost know it from an early age.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_02: Like that's a funny thing, like that that you you know, you prayed that you you really wanted Christmas and you knew how to do that.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_02: You you just asked for it.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_02: But um I think petition is a slightly misunderstood, but it does come really naturally.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_02: And what what we're trying to do is I'm not I think it's really important.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_02: It is a it is part of prayer, asking for things.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_02: It's definitely part of prayer.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_02: It's just putting it in its proper place, right?
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_02: And understanding, like, okay, how does this whole thing work?
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, because I don't want anybody to listen to the podcast and think, oh, well, if I asked for things, that well, that was a bad thing, because that's not true at all.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_02: It's just like, how do we put this prayer that actually comes pretty naturally?
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_02: Like we were doing it as kids for all kinds of things from inline roller skates to you know girlfriends.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_02: We know how to do a sort of know how to do it.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_02: How do we put it in its proper place?
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_02: And that's really what we're gonna try to explore is like, all right, what does petition look like?
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_02: Where does it fit?
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_02: How do we do it?
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_02: So that's the episode.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_02: So, Carter, let's talk a little bit about petition.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_02: And um, you know, I said this, it it we we put it where we put it on purpose, uh, because I think it's important that adoration, confession, lament, and thanksgiving really are precursors to placing our heart into its proper position.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_02: But could you talk through that a little bit?
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_02: Like why do you think having petition, we don't want to get rid of petition.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_02: That that's important.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_02: Scripture tells us we should we we can bring our prayers to God.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_02: But talk a little bit about the importance of petition, maybe in its order and and where we place it and why it's important.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I you know what's interesting is I think this is lament and confession and petition are probably the three that um I just didn't know how to do.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: Which sounds like like when it comes to petition, it's not a a holier than thou.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's not like I didn't pray for for stuff for myself.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: I just you know, I often will say like kids are very perceptive, they're just crappy interpreters of reality.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like I remember someone saying, like, God knows all.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: So God knows all.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like so I the way that my brain interpreted that was if I share something out loud, then I must not believe God knows all.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_01: And so for the longest time, I never prayed asking for I didn't pray for if my friend's mom was sick.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't pray.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like I thought it, yeah, but I thought, like, well, God knows all.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_01: God knows my prayers, He doesn't need to hear them from me, and it wasn't until years and years and years later that I realized like, um why wouldn't I bring my requests to God?
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like if in a healthy relationship, um, there's something that um because we've all had those moments where you know Chrissy probably asks you, Eric, like, hey, what do you want for your birthday?
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_01: And um you don't name it, and so she has to guess.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, um there's something when you actually have the agents to say, like, hey, this matters to me.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm actually bringing it to the source.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_02: I think that's huge, Carter.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_02: Um you're right, God knows it.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_02: But this this this part of prayer it's what we've been saying along the way.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_02: This is part of relationship.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_02: It's um he knows the data, but he's looking for relationship.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_01: And that's really huge.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_01: So I again, my it was not out of like not centering myself, I just didn't pray.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: And again, it wasn't modeled to me.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I would keep my eyes closed and listen, and you know, I I also I was really judgmental of like of like how people sounded when they prayed.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: Like every other word was like father God, or they sounded like a you know, like I just not not it's not about them.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: That was my own just brokenness and having to figure it out.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it just came to a point where I just do I want to have a relationship, like if and it was a mentor of mine who just said like it feels like you want all the benefits without relationship.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, and that's huge, and I think in a lot of my life that's how I how I lived, you know.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_02: You you've said some things too, because I think part of it is there a big part of this is the relationship.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_02: But I also think like asking um it it forms you, right?
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_02: Because part of the process is um how how do you you talk about naming your desire.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_02: There is something in the process of naming your desire.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_02: Could you talk a little bit about that?
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_02: Because I've heard you oftentimes like in meetings, you know, you and I have worked together.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_02: This there is something in naming this deepest part of you, this desire, that that's really healthy and good.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's where it came part of the part of it was because uh I grew up in a system where, and Alice Miller writes about this in the drama of the gifted child.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_01: And it doesn't mean like gifted and like brilliant, it means you grew up knowing what your parents' desires were at the expense of your own desires.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: I knew how to take care of my parents, I knew how to like I knew what they needed, I knew what success looked like for them.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't know how to name my own desire.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_01: And so part of health for me was to recognize, hey, desires are good.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_01: That's okay.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_01: And then to be able to recognize I can actually bring those desires to God, he actually welcomes them.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um in Philippians 4, 6, you know, uh it tells us by prayer and petition with Thanksgiving, bring your request to God.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_01: And that word petition is the word demus, and it it it it really is is like with this humility and with this earnest about bring bringing those desires um before the one who can hold them.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: And and I think for me, um that was an exercise actually in faith.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_01: One that he wanted the desires, but two that um he he cared about those desires.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um and that three, it wasn't about how I named my desires, like, oh, I did it really well, so I'm gonna get it, or I didn't do it well, so I'm not gonna get it.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_01: It just was in a sense of Lord, this is important to me.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, one of the things that Eric has heard me say, and people who've worked with me had know this is um I think great bosses don't name the another person's desire.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_01: Well, yeah, yeah, and they create the invitation for that person to have the agency to do that because it's their own formation.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_01: And there will be times, you know, and you know, Eric and I have been in meetings where I'll literally say to another staff person, Hey, I think we're in a desire standoff.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_01: I have my desires for you.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_01: It's not my job to do that.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: I want you to know what you want.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_01: Because if you can't name that, then you're all you're doing is you're working to try to appease somebody else rather than going, This is actually what I want.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: This is and I think the same thing's true in relationship with God.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um there's a there's a humble, uh, earnest naming of the desire, but at the same time, um almost like Jesus, um not my will, but your will be done.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_02: But but it seems like there's a subtle in naming your desire, right?
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_02: Say, hey God, this is what I want.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_02: There's also in that bringing it to God, a recognition um that you you when you said trust, it's what came in my mind.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I can't I actually can't make all this happen on my own.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_02: When I bring this thing that I want to you, whether or not you're articulating it, isn't there almost a recognition even in the prayer that I can't make this thing that I truly want happen on my own.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_02: I actually need your help.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yes and no.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_01: So the the yes in the things that matter, you're one thousand percent.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_01: In the smaller petitions of the world, no.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_01: If you if you want a thousand followers on Instagram, you can go buy them and you you don't need but that's gonna affect the person that you become.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_01: If it's something that is the formational, the kind of person um that you're tapping into, you know, the Lord's will, which again is a phrase that gets misinterpreted all the time.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's not one job, one college.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's as Orprigh will say, it is about who you are becoming, um, more in line with the character of Jesus, the magnificent person of his image.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_01: When when we have our desires aligned with that, um, and yet we can surrender that to God in his forming of us and trusting that he's gonna do it, then yes, one thousand percent.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so let's walk it through the framework of the last five weeks.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_02: Isn't that why why it's really important that the framework that we've laid out that you start with adoration, right?
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_02: Because isn't it true that left to myself, the naming of my desires with me at the center of the universe tends to look a particular way?
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_02: But when I first start with adoration and I place God where He truly deserves, when I then confess my brokenness, when I lament the things that really haven't gone the the way that I hoped they would, and then I'm I give thanks for all that God has done.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_02: It does it kind of center you in that then the last phase of petition, right?
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_02: It it it sort of centers you uh or it has the potential to center you.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_01: I man, I'm just I mean, I knew you had flipped it for this way, yeah.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_01: But it is fascinating when you when you do flip it the other way and you start with petition, then the adoration of God is circumstantial to if he answered your petition.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_01: You know, but if you start with the adoration, you're giving you're giving him the glory he's due.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_01: There is a there is a sense of surrender.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not at the center, but that forms you in how you make your request.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_01: It sure does.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_01: That's man, Parks, the way that you set that up, that I didn't see that fully the way you just named that, but that's yeah.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_01: I and again, I think so many of us, our adoration and thanksgiving is all circumstantial.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_02: It's all circumstantial.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_02: And I think part of if you look at the Lord's Prayer, actually, this rhythm is built into the way that Jesus prayed.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_02: Um the neuroscience behind it is really interesting because of how it does what it does to our brains, that our petitions flowing out of these formational pieces look have the potential to look fundamentally different than what we talked about.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_02: All of a sudden, like it's a whole the relationship is recentered, it's different, and so I think that's why I never want uh I don't I didn't I didn't want to set up petition as like this wrong thing because it's not wrong, it just needs to be rightly ordered.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_01: We we were living in Grand Rapids and we got this kind of opportunity to to go out to California to Rock Harbor.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um we were trying to sell our house in 2008 in Michigan, big three, uh which was a tough time, it was just like a tough time to sell a house.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_01: And my petition was simple Lord.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_01: Let us sell our house.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_01: Just I I I I I can't do two mortgages or one mortgage and one rental because that's what we could afford in California.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I I can't, like, please.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I I asked Sarah, I'm like, hey, what do you what are you praying?
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like, in regards to the house.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_01: And she said, I'm praying that the right family moves into our house.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, don't pray that.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_01: I don't care about the family.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_01: I don't care about that.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_01: Like that and that could be months or years away.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_01: And she's like, but don't don't you trust God?
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_01: Don't you want our neighborhood to flourish more?
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I and it was just a different you could tell by her prayer, it started with adoration.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because she had such trust that God was gonna provide and he was gonna bring the right family into that neighborhood.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_01: And mine was solely practical, it was solely trying to be efficient, and it was solely meeting my personal agenda.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_01: And again, I'm not saying it was wrong, it's just not um the same power and prayer.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_02: Well, one of the things I've been uh encouraging people to consider, and and you know, all all of what we've talked through and all that we wrote about were these different frameworks to explore uh how we this is about relationship.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_02: You keep hitting that.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_02: I think that's so important.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_02: Like we're engaging in a relationship, uh uh we DTR this relationship, we define it really clearly.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_02: But one of the things to consider is what if you practiced each of the five forms that we outline, like on Monday is a day of adoration, and on Tuesday is your day of confession, and on Wednesday is your day of lament, Thursday is your day of Thanksgiving, and you don't petition until you get to Friday.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_02: You don't petition until you've worked through it.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_02: Now you could do all that in a day, right?
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_02: It's easy to to do all this, but honestly, working through a very specific rhythm where for me, here's why I think that's important.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_02: One, we live in a culture of instant instant gratification, and so we expect that to be true in our prayers, right?
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_02: Like especially around the petitions.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_02: Like, hey, I need my household, God, let's go.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_02: This is what my desire is, I need my household.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_02: Uh or I need this thing, or I need you to show up in this way.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_02: And usually um patience that's not we're praying typically out of something immediate.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_02: There's an immediacy.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_02: Just the process of waiting till Friday to ask of anything is a discipline where I begin to teach myself rightly placed petition is really, really important.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_02: So um it's something that I'm just I've been toying with is like, well, as I work through this, that's not to say you couldn't do all five in a day.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_02: Of course you could, but replacing petition at the end of the week, letting that be the last thing I do instead of the first, I just think it it had it's doing something in my heart.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_01: I think the the right placement is huge.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_01: The only small tinker I would have based on something that you know, the prayer guides are so beautiful, and and when you sent it to me, um adoration was so powerful is in that um even as we went to the different um kind of postures, totally, I tried to keep adoration every day.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_01: Almost like just to recognize like I adore you so I can confess, or I adore you, that you'll actually hear my lament.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_01: I adore you.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um and I I bring my Thanksgiving, like just in because I thought the way that you wrote that or the team wrote that, that was just like was different than I had understood adoration before.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_01: And um, so that that would my only little piece.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_02: Doug said the same thing, it was he he he was actually at one of our prayer practices where we were practicing these things, and he said something similar where hey, if we get this adoration piece right, all these other things flow from them really well.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_02: I think there's I mean that's brilliant.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_02: I think there's something brilliant to that thing.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_01: Can I ask you two questions real quick?
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_01: Two questions.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um one, you've had three kids, um, two of them finish college, one about to go into college.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um when you watched your I imagine one of them at least, have a desire, a named desire to go to a school and they didn't get in.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_01: And you had to see that look on your kids' face.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_01: Um my son had early decision at Northwestern didn't get in.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_01: And it was um so hard.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um now we look on the other side, uh hindsight 2020, he's where he's supposed to be, and he's so fired up and like wouldn't want to go to Northwestern right now.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_01: But I for a couple weeks that was a hard piece when you see your child name their desire and it doesn't come out.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_01: So one how do you how do you how do you walk through that well with people in your congregation or your own self or when you've named that desire and it and it just it it's like I think Anne Lamont says God answers prayers with three ways yes, no, or not now.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: Not yet.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: And like in the not yet, how or no?
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_01: How do you how does that how do you how do you hold that?
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_01: And then two, what are you petitioning God right now for?
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I think part of uh the prayer of Thanksgiving, I had mentioned this a few episodes back or one episode back.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_02: For me, whether it's with my child or with myself, when God answers a prayer in a different direction than what I want him to do, what I desire him to do, I just remind myself of the instances that I remember and can see that he didn't do exactly what I wanted, but I'm really glad that he didn't, right?
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_02: Because I have them.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_02: You just mentioned it with your son.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_02: And you can see it now.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_02: It's hard to see it in the moment.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_02: But we need to store those things up.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_02: And so part of this is storing of those things because there will be times when I can't trace his hand, I don't I don't see it, but because I have before seen it, I can trust in this moment that he will be faithful.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_02: And that's part of I oftentimes will talk about the prayer petition, naming it's important, but the last piece of the prayer petition, releasing it to him, is equally as important.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_02: That means, yes, I name it.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but then the last step is but I trust you with it, and I'm gonna hand it to you.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_02: And that's not to say that you don't come back to it.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_02: In fact, the prayer petition is something where I tell people all the time, it's enough to release it for today.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_02: And tomorrow you may wake up and you're probably it's gonna be on your heart and you're gonna pray it again.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_02: That child that's you know, wayward, the broken relationship, and that's okay.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_02: Um you you release it, it's enough for today.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_02: So release it for today.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_02: But that release step, that's really, really important uh because we don't know.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_02: And I can see, but it is equally important that you just like release it.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_02: And then you know, you ask, What am I what am I petitioning God for?
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_02: Honestly, my petitions, you guys are you guys are parents.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_02: I find myself praying about my children a lot these days.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_02: And it's really been beautiful when you send your kid up kids off to college, oftentimes you're like, Well, it's over.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_02: I told the joke about you know, Daily when we took her to college saying as I was giving her a necklace, she's like, Dad, I I'm not dying.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_02: But sometimes you feel that way, and what I've recognized is all these seasons have a beginning and an end, and they're all beautiful and sad, but there's new seasons and new chapters, and so I find myself praying for my children a lot these days, you know, just um older we get, the more you realize you're not gonna be here forever, and you see your grandchildren starting to be born.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_02: So I find myself praying a lot for my children that they would learn some of the stuff that took me lots of years about relationship with God, what prayer means.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_02: Honestly, uh what life I hope I hope that I passed on a few things about faith and and how this world works to them.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm petitioning Lord the Lord a lot these days uh on behalf of my children, that God you would just make yourself known to them.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_02: Um that all that we've poured into them would come to life when it needs to.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_02: And so that's that's a lot that's on my mind.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_02: How about you?
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_02: What are you praying about?
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I I I think it's that act of release.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um you know, you you you with your kids, you you try to help them recognize what they is possible and and then they have those moments to achieve that and you realize they're they're not really yours.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_01: And your job is to to launch these rockets into the world.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_01: And and so um it's just really hard when you really like them.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I look at your scenario right now, and it's like everyone's coming home to Colorado.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, you know, this first time in since I've known you're 10 years, you know, that everyone will be around.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_01: That's a blessing.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_01: And that's a that's a gift, and and just uh recognizing that may not happen with that might happen with your family, but for 10 years it didn't happen, but it might happen in 10 years for yeah, who knows?
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_01: But it's that release of I trust you, God, that um you've got this world and you've got them.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_01: And but that's a that's a that's a control and that surrender of control.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_02: But I think that's a good example.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_02: I prayed for 10 years.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_02: God, who would you bring my kids?
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_02: Would you bring them home?
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but for 10 years I'm like, but it's your will.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_02: Like, hey, the the release of I love that word that you use, release is like, God, whatever you see fit.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_02: And and I I I sit in this moment going, doesn't mean it will always be so, but uh, you know, I pray for for the for my desires, but I release it to you to ultimately know that hey, you really do know best.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_01: It's Jesus in the garden.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_01: Take take this cup, take this cup, but not my will, but yours be done.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_01: And that's the I think that's such a healthy way to approach petition.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_01: I can name my desire, but at the end of the day, may it be your will, and may your will be done.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_01: As we wrap up this five-week prayer follow-up uh series, I imagine that many of you, whether in your car or your office or on a walk right now, um, maybe, maybe you uh just want to kind of put this into practice.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_01: And we actually want to create that space.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_01: And if you're like me and Eric, uh we've been really trying to uh begin a lot of our days with um a moment of adoration.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_01: And what we want to do is we want to give you a space right now, some music in the background, but wherever you are, um whether as Eric likes to do with pen and paper, or if you're in your car and you want to speak it out loud or on a walk, just kind of whisper it.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but what are the names, the characteristics that places God at the center of the story and allows you just to look up at a holy and good God?
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_01: Take some time right now, write it out, speak it out, pray it out, and just bring adoration to our holy God.
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_01: Which one of those four do you need just to spend some time in?
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_01: We talked about confessing, we just talked about kind of the owning and letting God search you, and uh is there something that you just need to own right now and and bring before God and experience and receive his forgiveness?
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_01: Is it the lament?
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_01: There's something that you're just having to sit with the why, and you imagine God giving you that sledgehammer, and you just need to be honest and human and just say it ugly and stay with your chest.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_01: Or is it a thanksgiving and there's something that you are just beyond grateful for what God has brought forth, and that you just want to bring um and give thanks back to the one who has just given to you?
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_01: Or is there a desire that you need to name right now?
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_01: Something that you're longing for, maybe for yourself, maybe for a relative or friend.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but if we could all, no matter where we are, not just bring adoration, but bring the vulnerable confession or lament or thanksgiving or petition to God right now.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_01: We want to give you that space because our God is with us and our God hears and longs for every part of us.
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_02: And he writes, For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory, he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith, that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_02: Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever.
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_02: Amen.
• 40:07
  SPEAKER_02: One of the best ways you can engage is through our prayer guide.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_02: You can find a link in our notes to find out more about grabbing one of those guides and starting a 25-day journey practicing all we've talked about.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_02: So that's gonna do it for today.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_02: If something landed for you in this conversation, don't just let it sit.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_02: Take it with you.
• 40:29
  SPEAKER_02: Carry it into your week.
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_02: Talk about it with somebody, let it do something in you.
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_02: And if you want to go deeper, click on the link in the show notes.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_02: We'll be back soon with more.
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_02: So until then, keep following up.