Latest / The You Project / #1701 Getting Unstuck - Harps
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Good eight team. It's harps hope, you bloody terrific. So
- 0:03Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about the very common
- 0:06Speaker 1: habit of getting stuck. That is spinning our wheels, that
- 0:11Speaker 1: is living life or part of our life in a
- 0:16Speaker 1: perpetual holding pattern, thinking about doing different while not doing different,
- 0:21Speaker 1: talking about doing different and better while not doing it,
- 0:25Speaker 1: talking about transformation and improvement and growth and learning and
- 0:29Speaker 1: unlearning and becoming the best version of ourselves and exploring
- 0:33Speaker 1: our talents and our potential and building our best whatever,
- 0:37Speaker 1: while simultaneously not fucking doing it. Ah, And let's be honest.
- 0:43Speaker 1: Let's be honest. That's a lot of people a lot
- 0:44Speaker 1: of the time. And that's not me being critical. That's
- 0:47Speaker 1: me being an observer of people. Also myself being one
- 0:52Speaker 1: of those people. So there've been many times in my
- 0:55Speaker 1: life when I have been I've been, I guess, trapped
- 1:01Speaker 1: in a kind of a holding pattern, a holding pattern
- 1:05Speaker 1: of mediocrity, like a groundhog day, like same shits, same stuff,
- 1:10Speaker 1: same doing the same things with my business or my brand,
- 1:14Speaker 1: or my money, or my body, or my relationships or
- 1:17Speaker 1: my spiritual life or my mental health or my emotional
- 1:22Speaker 1: health or my academic pursuits, my learning, commitment, my training,
- 1:29Speaker 1: my nutrition, doing stuff that didn't work, but nonetheless getting
- 1:34Speaker 1: up each day and essentially doing a version of what
- 1:37Speaker 1: didn't work the last day, month, year, decade sometimes. So
- 1:44Speaker 1: I'm very interested in, as you all well know, I'm
- 1:47Speaker 1: interested in human potential. I'm interested in possibilities. I'm interested
- 1:52Speaker 1: in what we can do, what I can do, what
- 1:57Speaker 1: you can do when you and me get out of
- 1:59Speaker 1: our own way, when I can get out of my
- 2:05Speaker 1: destructive habits, my self destructive self talk, thinking, my shitty lifestyle,
- 2:15Speaker 1: not so much these days, but at times, my relationships,
- 2:19Speaker 1: my operating system, not just relationships with people, but relationships
- 2:25Speaker 1: with food, relationships with my body, relationships with all of
- 2:31Speaker 1: the things that I do, habits and behaviors, and stepping
- 2:36Speaker 1: into out of the self destruction and the overthinking and
- 2:40Speaker 1: the self doubt and the imposter syndrome, and slowly stepping
- 2:44Speaker 1: into self awareness and self genuine self improvement and self
- 2:50Speaker 1: regulation and self optimization for that matter. So many years,
- 2:55Speaker 1: for many years, I worked with people who came to
- 2:57Speaker 1: me to get in shape physically, and then more recently
- 3:01Speaker 1: last decade or so, you know, mentally and emotionally, but
- 3:05Speaker 1: who were stuck and stuck physically sometimes or stuck mentally
- 3:10Speaker 1: or emotionally all three, or socially and or socially practically
- 3:16Speaker 1: behaviorally you know, just in this normal operating system that
- 3:23Speaker 1: doesn't work. So there's there's a there's a degree of
- 3:30Speaker 1: unconsciousness that all of us in habit, and as the
- 3:35Speaker 1: name suggests, we're not aware of it. That is, we
- 3:39Speaker 1: unconsciously do a lot of things, and we do a
- 3:41Speaker 1: lot of things that really will require very very low
- 3:45Speaker 1: level decision making in that you know, we've got to
- 3:49Speaker 1: open the fridge to get the thing out to put
- 3:50Speaker 1: it in our mouth, but it's almost like we do
- 3:53Speaker 1: that without thinking, without choosing. It's just a habit, it's
- 3:56Speaker 1: a pattern, that's a ritual, it's a behavior. I feel
- 4:00Speaker 1: I'm not hungry, I'm not actually hungry, I don't actually
- 4:02Speaker 1: need food, but I'm having a bad day. So now
- 4:04Speaker 1: I'm grabbing chocolate. Now I'm eating chocolate, I feel a
- 4:08Speaker 1: bit flat, I feel a bit anxious. Now I'm grabbing booze.
- 4:11Speaker 1: I fit whatever. And so we have a propensity and
- 4:15Speaker 1: a tendency, many of us, to do things for an
- 4:18Speaker 1: extended period of time, sometimes decades that clearly do not
- 4:24Speaker 1: work for us. And when I say do not work,
- 4:27Speaker 1: I'm saying do not work on the understanding or the
- 4:30Speaker 1: premise that we want to be better. We don't want
- 4:33Speaker 1: to be unhealthy. We don't want destructive habits. We don't
- 4:35Speaker 1: want to overthink. We don't want to overdrink. We don't
- 4:38Speaker 1: want to overeat. We don't want to be the procrastinator.
- 4:43Speaker 1: We don't want to be the excuse maker. We don't
- 4:45Speaker 1: want to be the avoid or the denier. We want
- 4:47Speaker 1: to take ownership, we want to take charge. We want
- 4:50Speaker 1: to optimize our genetics, optimize our potential, optimize our IQ,
- 4:55Speaker 1: our intellectual capacity, optimize our creativity. We talk all the time,
- 5:01Speaker 1: especially in the personal development, self help space, human performance,
- 5:05Speaker 1: human behavior, we talk all the time about optimization, that is,
- 5:11Speaker 1: getting the most out of ourselves. But truly, truly, as
- 5:17Speaker 1: unpopular as this might be, or as uncomfortable as this
- 5:20Speaker 1: might be for some to hear, and I don't know you,
- 5:23Speaker 1: so clearly it's not personal, or clearly you're one of
- 5:26Speaker 1: many listenings, so I'm not targeting you. So all I
- 5:29Speaker 1: ask you to do is consider what I'm about to say,
- 5:31Speaker 1: and that what I'm about to say is that some
- 5:33Speaker 1: of you have probably been doing things that don't work
- 5:37Speaker 1: for a very long time, and maybe lots of things
- 5:40Speaker 1: that don't work. And if on some level you've kind
- 5:45Speaker 1: of resigned yourself to that fact and you're kind of
- 5:48Speaker 1: okay with it, then okay. However, if you're not okay
- 5:53Speaker 1: with it, if you are sick of being the one
- 5:56Speaker 1: day soon person, the almost person. I listen to so
- 5:59Speaker 1: much help and personal development, behavioral change, in neuroscience and
- 6:03Speaker 1: neuropsychology and nutrition, and I've read every fucking thing and
- 6:06Speaker 1: listen to every fucking thing. But here I am, and
- 6:08Speaker 1: I'm still in groundhole day. I'm still spinning my wheels,
- 6:11Speaker 1: I'm still going nowhere fast. I'm still in a perpetual
- 6:15Speaker 1: holding pattern of mediocrity and dissatisfaction and wasted time, talent,
- 6:20Speaker 1: and energy. If that's you, then then one you need
- 6:26Speaker 1: to figure out if you're really desperately, passionately committed to
- 6:31Speaker 1: changing that, and then two, whether or not you are
- 6:36Speaker 1: genuinely willing to pay the price of whatever is required
- 6:41Speaker 1: to create that shift on planet you. And this is
- 6:45Speaker 1: the big kind of gap. This is the chasm between
- 6:48Speaker 1: the idea and the action and the idea. Everyone's in
- 6:51Speaker 1: love with the idea. Everyone's in love with the idea
- 6:54Speaker 1: of better. Everyone's in love with the idea of lean
- 6:58Speaker 1: and strong and functional and successful and joyful and wealthy
- 7:05Speaker 1: and focused and fulfilled. We love all that shit because
- 7:12Speaker 1: who doesn't want that. We all want that or a
- 7:15Speaker 1: version of that. I rarely speak to people who say
- 7:20Speaker 1: I am totally content. I don't want anything else. This
- 7:25Speaker 1: is a whole other conversation out by the way. But
- 7:27Speaker 1: I'm there. I don't need any more. I'm happy. I'm content,
- 7:31Speaker 1: you know, for the most part, not anxious. Life's great.
- 7:36Speaker 1: That's generally not the case, and there's another conversation, as
- 7:41Speaker 1: I said, to be had around that. But for the moment,
- 7:43Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about whether or not
- 7:47Speaker 1: you are genuinely ready. Firstly, I'm going to operate on
- 7:50Speaker 1: the assumption that you are at the very least interested
- 7:55Speaker 1: in getting unstuck, interested in getting out of your own way,
- 8:00Speaker 1: interested in stepping out of the rules and habits and
- 8:04Speaker 1: rituals and the perpetual holding pattern that you may be
- 8:08Speaker 1: in in some areas of your life that doesn't work
- 8:12Speaker 1: or don't work. To step out of that. So firstly,
- 8:17Speaker 1: let's talk about what are the drivers? What are the
- 8:20Speaker 1: things which cause us to get stuck? And so this
- 8:24Speaker 1: list is not in terms of significance or important. They
- 8:28Speaker 1: are all equally important. And some of these may relate
- 8:34Speaker 1: to you, some of them may not. It's seven or
- 8:37Speaker 1: eight or nine maybe, And some of them seem like
- 8:42Speaker 1: overly simple. Well, come on, Craig, I need more than that.
- 8:45Speaker 1: I need some deeper science. I need something more profound
- 8:49Speaker 1: than that. I need something more wise and insightful and
- 8:53Speaker 1: deep than laziness. For example, this sounds funny, but I
- 8:59Speaker 1: just meet people who are fucking lazy, and that's why
- 9:02Speaker 1: they're stuck. It's not even that they're scared, they're just lazy.
- 9:08Speaker 1: They just don't They just don't want to do the work.
- 9:11Speaker 1: They like the idea of the outcome, they like the
- 9:14Speaker 1: idea of the destination, but they are not ready to
- 9:17Speaker 1: get up every day and walk the path, or drive
- 9:21Speaker 1: the path, or take the path, or or take the journey.
- 9:26Speaker 1: Like the destination. The idea of the outcome is brilliant,
- 9:28Speaker 1: but the idea of doing what's required to create that outcome,
- 9:33Speaker 1: they're like, ah soon. And so you know, if laziness
- 9:40Speaker 1: is the overriding kind of factor. Then we're stuck. And
- 9:46Speaker 1: so that and I think sometimes that that kind of
- 9:49Speaker 1: general apathy, laziness, apathy, lack of motivation, perhaps they're tied
- 9:55Speaker 1: in together. And my just my thoughts. This is not science,
- 10:01Speaker 1: this is my thoughts. I think that, as I've said
- 10:06Speaker 1: a lot on this show, there's almost like a psychological
- 10:11Speaker 1: and or emotional tipping point for a lot of us,
- 10:14Speaker 1: and that is we kind of just go We just
- 10:16Speaker 1: kind of trudge along in blah, you know, in Blasville,
- 10:21Speaker 1: in mediocrity in three out of ten, and it's not
- 10:24Speaker 1: fulfilling or rewarding or awesome or joyful, but it's also
- 10:27Speaker 1: not complete shit. It's okay. There are moments of okayness,
- 10:32Speaker 1: and you know, until we get to that point where
- 10:36Speaker 1: we associate more pain with staying in it than getting
- 10:40Speaker 1: out of it, most of us will stay in it.
- 10:44Speaker 1: And you can see as an observer of human behavior,
- 10:49Speaker 1: you can see people staying in things, sometimes relationships or jobs,
- 10:57Speaker 1: or situations or circumstances or environments, patterns or habits, staying
- 11:01Speaker 1: in things that really don't work, but on some level
- 11:05Speaker 1: they're scared of the option they're scared of the work,
- 11:08Speaker 1: They're scared of the unknown, They're scared of the uncertainty.
- 11:12Speaker 1: Should they shut the door on that thing and step
- 11:15Speaker 1: away and head in a new direction with no safety
- 11:19Speaker 1: in it? So fear comes into it, laziness, apathy, fear, mindset. Now,
- 11:27Speaker 1: when I talk about mindset, clearly we could and we
- 11:30Speaker 1: have done many shows on this, but it's you know,
- 11:33Speaker 1: being aware that my mind is not in charge of me.
- 11:37Speaker 1: I am in charge of my mind. And yes I'm
- 11:40Speaker 1: not talking about my brain here. My brain is different,
- 11:44Speaker 1: is a different animal. But in terms of managing regulating
- 11:47Speaker 1: my thoughts, what I pay attention to, what I focus on?
- 11:51Speaker 1: Am I the problem person? Am I the solution person?
- 11:55Speaker 1: Am I making good decisions? How do I process the
- 11:58Speaker 1: world around me? What is the thing that happened? What
- 12:02Speaker 1: is my story that I'm telling myself about the thing
- 12:05Speaker 1: that happened? Why do I think the way that I think?
- 12:09Speaker 1: Where does my thinking come from? What role does my
- 12:13Speaker 1: programming play in my current internal paradigm, in my internal framework?
- 12:20Speaker 1: What role does my programming play in terms of how
- 12:23Speaker 1: I live and what I do and my values and
- 12:26Speaker 1: so on? So, becoming aware of these internal kind of
- 12:31Speaker 1: drivers that influence perhaps determine whether or not we stay
- 12:37Speaker 1: stuck or we move self doubt. Self doubt is like
- 12:44Speaker 1: almost a pandemic, you know, aversion to discomfort spoken about
- 12:50Speaker 1: a lot of times. People want the work, they don't
- 12:52Speaker 1: want the pain, self limiting thinking, crap, self esteem, and
- 12:57Speaker 1: so on. And the truth is that it's some stage.
- 13:02Speaker 1: Should we really want to move forward, we need to
- 13:05Speaker 1: feel what we feel. Feel lazy, feel not good enough,
- 13:08Speaker 1: feel like a fraud, feel like an impostor, but nonetheless
- 13:11Speaker 1: start the ball rolling. I've spent most of my life
- 13:17Speaker 1: still feeling like the insecure fat kid that got picked
- 13:21Speaker 1: lass for every sporting team. At some stages, I feel
- 13:24Speaker 1: like that. I don't feel like literally that, I just
- 13:27Speaker 1: that those emotional and psychological remnants live on. You know.
- 13:32Speaker 1: I could be in the middle of, like right now,
- 13:35Speaker 1: sharing this with you, at the same time feeling like, oh,
- 13:38Speaker 1: this is shit and no one's going to enjoy it.
- 13:40Speaker 1: Like that. Self doubt never fully goes away from me,
- 13:44Speaker 1: that imposter syndrome, not good enough, not smart enough, not
- 13:47Speaker 1: academic enough, not lean enough, not likable enough, not fucking
- 13:52Speaker 1: it what. That stuff never fully goes away. It doesn't
- 13:55Speaker 1: dominate me, it doesn't render me paralyzed. But do I
- 14:00Speaker 1: ever feel supremely confident? Never? I never feel that I
- 14:05Speaker 1: feel somewhat confident. I feel content and pretty calm and
- 14:09Speaker 1: pretty satisfied most of the time. But what I know
- 14:15Speaker 1: is that the psychological awareness that I can do things,
- 14:21Speaker 1: I'm not useless. I can succeed, I can write well,
- 14:25Speaker 1: I can speak well, I can talk to an audience.
- 14:28Speaker 1: I can build a business and brand, while also knowing
- 14:32Speaker 1: that I've fucked up a lot of things and all
- 14:34Speaker 1: of that. But that knowledge that I can do well, oh,
- 14:39Speaker 1: exists at the same time with those feelings, those emotions
- 14:44Speaker 1: of inadequacy and self doubt and periodic self loathing. And
- 14:49Speaker 1: that's not weird or broken or terrible. That's normal. Even
- 14:53Speaker 1: the people that I've worked with that many of you
- 14:56Speaker 1: would know that are high performers in the in the
- 14:59Speaker 1: areas of thoughts or politics, or media or entertainment or
- 15:04Speaker 1: the creative arts. Some of the people that I've worked
- 15:07Speaker 1: with that are wildly successful are also insecure, also riddled
- 15:13Speaker 1: with self doubt, also have self esteem issues, also could
- 15:18Speaker 1: talk themselves into analysis paralysis in a second. So if
- 15:23Speaker 1: any of that is you. That is not a reason
- 15:27Speaker 1: to not succeed. You can be scared and successful. You
- 15:33Speaker 1: can be inherently kind of naturally lazy while choosing to
- 15:38Speaker 1: be active and proactive. You can do that. You can
- 15:42Speaker 1: override things. My genetic default setting is endomorphic, which is
- 15:49Speaker 1: I gain fat very easily. But my genetics don't need
- 15:53Speaker 1: to be my destiny because what I'll look, feel, and
- 15:56Speaker 1: function like is about twenty to thirty percent about my genetics.
- 16:00Speaker 1: The rest is about what I do, and what I
- 16:03Speaker 1: do is optional. What I eat is optional, how I
- 16:06Speaker 1: live is optional. How I move my body, whether or
- 16:10Speaker 1: not I drink booze or use drugs, or how I
- 16:13Speaker 1: sleep or how much I sleep, or how I put
- 16:15Speaker 1: all this shit together. My over arching values, my overarching
- 16:20Speaker 1: operating system for life. There are We can rationalize anything
- 16:29Speaker 1: if we want, if we want to come up with
- 16:31Speaker 1: a reason why we're not succeeding, and life's not fair
- 16:34Speaker 1: and my mum did this or my dad. And I'm
- 16:37Speaker 1: not trying to be disrespectful to people who've been through
- 16:39Speaker 1: legit trauma. Of course we recognize that and respect that.
- 16:43Speaker 1: But at the same time, guess what a lot of
- 16:46Speaker 1: people have been through trauma, and a lot of people
- 16:49Speaker 1: have been through some horrible shit. I interviewed Joelsarti the
- 16:53Speaker 1: other day, who's speaking on our program, who went to Afghanistan,
- 16:57Speaker 1: served for Australia in the military, spent eight months there
- 17:01Speaker 1: on an active tour, came back, was having a quick
- 17:05Speaker 1: break before he went back to Afghanistan, fell over, railing,
- 17:08Speaker 1: railing on some stairs, broke his neck. Broke his neck
- 17:13Speaker 1: is a quadriplegic. Now, if anyone's got a reason to
- 17:15Speaker 1: get stuck, it's that, dude. If you want to rationalize
- 17:18Speaker 1: doing nothing, feeling sorry for yourself, being in a holding pattern,
- 17:23Speaker 1: you know, getting stuck in all kinds of ways, you
- 17:25Speaker 1: would look at, at least from the outside looking in,
- 17:28Speaker 1: and look at that scenario and what happened to Jijol
- 17:32Speaker 1: and go, man, I get it, I get it. But
- 17:34Speaker 1: guess what, He's not stuck in the middle of the
- 17:38Speaker 1: mess and the mayhem and the pain and the dysfunction
- 17:40Speaker 1: and the physiological limitations and all of the challenges, massive
- 17:45Speaker 1: challenges of adapting to a brand new life in a
- 17:48Speaker 1: body that doesn't work as it once did. In the
- 17:51Speaker 1: middle of all of that, he's growing and he's learning,
- 17:54Speaker 1: and he's developing skills and insight and awareness, and he's
- 17:57Speaker 1: courageous and he's doing fucking amazing shit. And you can
- 18:03Speaker 1: do too. We all can. It doesn't mean we can
- 18:07Speaker 1: all do anything. We can't all run one hundred meters
- 18:10Speaker 1: in ten seconds, we can't all win a Grammy. We
- 18:13Speaker 1: can't all become president or prime minister. We can't just practically,
- 18:17Speaker 1: we can't because we can't have a million prime ministers
- 18:21Speaker 1: at once. But there's a lot of stuff that we
- 18:24Speaker 1: can do. There's a lot of stuff that we can do.
- 18:28Speaker 1: So let's have a look at some ideas on how
- 18:32Speaker 1: to get unstuck. So I've got a list for you,
- 18:35Speaker 1: because you know the occasional list doesn't hurt. Number one is,
- 18:39Speaker 1: recognize your stuckness. Like that, Recognize that you are stuck,
- 18:45Speaker 1: that you are trapped, that you are in a holding pattern,
- 18:47Speaker 1: that you are spinning your wheels, whatever metaphor you want
- 18:50Speaker 1: to to use, but recognize that you are stuck and
- 18:54Speaker 1: identify the cause. So for a very long time, for example,
- 19:01Speaker 1: with my body, my starkness, my holding pattern, my inability
- 19:08Speaker 1: to look or feel or perform or achieve the level
- 19:11Speaker 1: of health and performance, and body composition that I wanted
- 19:21Speaker 1: for me. The cause was food, specifically, my relationship with food, specifically,
- 19:27Speaker 1: how I thought about food, how I chose food, how
- 19:31Speaker 1: I behaved with food and around food, how I socialized,
- 19:35Speaker 1: how I bullshitted myself with food, how I lied to people.
- 19:41Speaker 1: People would ask me about what I eat, and I
- 19:44Speaker 1: would be too embarrassed at times to tell them really
- 19:46Speaker 1: what I ate sometimes, so I would make up some
- 19:49Speaker 1: bullshit to sound good, And so I was in a
- 19:53Speaker 1: holding pattern. I was stuck. I had this toxic, destructive
- 19:56Speaker 1: relationship with food. By the way, food wasn't the problem
- 20:00Speaker 1: the problem. It's just that food was the epicenter of
- 20:03Speaker 1: the problem. And so that was for me, you know,
- 20:08Speaker 1: owning up and stepping up and being honest and raw
- 20:10Speaker 1: and real. And the reason that I share that this
- 20:13Speaker 1: was part of my journey is because I know other
- 20:15Speaker 1: people do the same. I know that I don't live
- 20:18Speaker 1: on an island in this respect. I'm not Robinson Cruz.
- 20:21Speaker 1: I'm not the only person to have done this. I've
- 20:24Speaker 1: spoken to maybe thousands of people who have very very
- 20:27Speaker 1: complicated relationships with their body, very complicated relationships with food
- 20:32Speaker 1: and with exercise and with self esteem and with body
- 20:36Speaker 1: image and body dysmorphia. And I think the starting point
- 20:40Speaker 1: for a lot of us, the unstuck getting unstuck starting
- 20:43Speaker 1: point is just being fucking honest. I eat shit. I
- 20:48Speaker 1: don't need the end not ah, yeah, but my genetics.
- 20:53Speaker 1: But yeah, but you know, I didn't want to offend anyone,
- 20:56Speaker 1: but oh it was all I could get my hands on. Ah,
- 20:58Speaker 1: but it was my.
- 20:59Speaker 2: Birthday, but it was it was you know, and you're
- 21:03Speaker 2: fifty there, and now you're fifty and you're still telling
- 21:06Speaker 2: yourself why you're not doing the things that.
- 21:10Speaker 1: You allegedly want to do. Like, you will not accidentally
- 21:15Speaker 1: get in great shape. You will not accidentally have a
- 21:18Speaker 1: fucking awesome body, awesome health, amazing immune system. You will
- 21:23Speaker 1: not accidentally run a fucking marathon or whatever it is
- 21:26Speaker 1: that or build a business or build a brand, or
- 21:29Speaker 1: do an undergrad degree or overcoming it. You'll not accidentally
- 21:34Speaker 1: do these things. We need to acknowledge the reality of us.
- 21:40Speaker 1: This is why I'm doing a part of why I'm
- 21:42Speaker 1: doing a PhD in self awareness, literally, it is because
- 21:46Speaker 1: self awareness with so much of this stuff is the
- 21:49Speaker 1: starting point. Not self loathing, not self hate, self awareness,
- 21:55Speaker 1: This is what I'm doing. Okay, my life's not working
- 21:58Speaker 1: in this text. What part of the problem am I?
- 22:03Speaker 1: It's not to say you're always the totality of the problem,
- 22:07Speaker 1: but let's just be brave for a moment and courageous
- 22:09Speaker 1: and grown up and mature and let's go, yeah, look,
- 22:12Speaker 1: at least I'm part of the problem, all right. Number
- 22:16Speaker 1: two is this identify the thing that you're not doing
- 22:21Speaker 1: that you should be doing. So what might that be
- 22:26Speaker 1: for you? Maybe that is maybe that is you need
- 22:31Speaker 1: to study thirty minutes every morning. Maybe that is you
- 22:34Speaker 1: need to start having a cold shower every day. Maybe
- 22:38Speaker 1: that is you need to commit to some I don't
- 22:42Speaker 1: know what it is, doesn't matter. It could be something
- 22:46Speaker 1: to do with your kids or your partner. Could be
- 22:48Speaker 1: something to do with your career. Could be something to
- 22:51Speaker 1: do with your physical, mental, or emotional health. It could
- 22:54Speaker 1: be something to do with a toxic relationship that you
- 22:59Speaker 1: need to deal with. It could be something to do
- 23:01Speaker 1: with your lifestyle. It could be a million things. But
- 23:07Speaker 1: what is the thing that you're not doing that you
- 23:11Speaker 1: know you should be. Number three is kind of an
- 23:15Speaker 1: expansion of that, and that is to do a stock
- 23:21Speaker 1: take or audit on what's working and what's not working
- 23:28Speaker 1: on planet you. And this is not something that you
- 23:33Speaker 1: do in three minutes driving to work, listening to the radio,
- 23:37Speaker 1: looking for a park. This is something that I think
- 23:41Speaker 1: really we need to take seriously about when we talk
- 23:44Speaker 1: about living consciously. We spoke before about unconscious stuff and
- 23:51Speaker 1: how you know. In many ways, for a range of reasons,
- 23:55Speaker 1: many of us are periodic passengers in our own life.
- 24:00Speaker 1: That is, life has its own energy, Life has its
- 24:03Speaker 1: own life force, Life has its own momentum, and life
- 24:10Speaker 1: happens despite us. Life keeps going on, and the things
- 24:15Speaker 1: that we are in the middle of have their own
- 24:18Speaker 1: momentum and energy as well. And sometimes we need to
- 24:22Speaker 1: get out of that river, that ever flowing river that
- 24:25Speaker 1: we are sitting in our canoe just being swept, that
- 24:29Speaker 1: we need to paddle to the side. We need to
- 24:31Speaker 1: get to the metaphoric bank, pull up our canoe and
- 24:34Speaker 1: our paddle, sit on the metaphoric rock and just take
- 24:37Speaker 1: a minute. Take a minute, get out of the river,
- 24:41Speaker 1: get out of the momentum, get out of the busyness,
- 24:44Speaker 1: get out of the never endingness, even if it's for
- 24:46Speaker 1: thirty minutes to sit. No phone no computer, no distractions,
- 24:52Speaker 1: just you thinking about how's my life going? How is
- 24:58Speaker 1: my life going, how's my body going? What about my rituals?
- 25:07Speaker 1: What about my social life? What about my sleep? What
- 25:12Speaker 1: about my self talk? What about my mental health? How's
- 25:15Speaker 1: that going on? What's that about? What about? What about
- 25:20Speaker 1: the results that I'm producing? Are they the results I
- 25:23Speaker 1: want to produce? If not, why not? What am I doing?
- 25:26Speaker 1: What could I do better? One of the challenges for
- 25:30Speaker 1: us is that, obviously my world view is subjective. All
- 25:38Speaker 1: of my experiences are influenced by the goings on in
- 25:42Speaker 1: my external world, but ultimately created by me. And when
- 25:46Speaker 1: I say me, I say my brain, my mind, my
- 25:48Speaker 1: data processing center. I am always doing a subjective assessment,
- 25:54Speaker 1: an interpretation of objective things. Something happens to me around
- 25:59Speaker 1: me despite me, a person, a situation and outcome, a result,
- 26:04Speaker 1: the weather, some piece of news. Then what I do,
- 26:09Speaker 1: automatically and almost unconsciously, is I break it down and
- 26:13Speaker 1: I give it meaning. And one of the challenges for us,
- 26:18Speaker 1: in the continuity and the never endingness of the human
- 26:21Speaker 1: experience and the never ending stream of information and energy
- 26:30Speaker 1: and people and events, is to be able to find
- 26:35Speaker 1: some space, some metaphoric space, sometimes some literal space to say, well,
- 26:40Speaker 1: here I am, I'm thirty, I'm forty, I'm fifty. How
- 26:45Speaker 1: long have I been thinking about changing these things? How
- 26:49Speaker 1: many times have I had the same story or told
- 26:53Speaker 1: myself the same or others the same story about the
- 26:56Speaker 1: same things that I'm going to change soon. I'm going
- 26:59Speaker 1: to I'm doing it soon. But here I am and
- 27:03Speaker 1: now I'm fifty and I'm not doing it. What are
- 27:08Speaker 1: the things that on planet me are not working? And
- 27:12Speaker 1: what are the things that are working? What are my
- 27:14Speaker 1: results telling me? What's my life telling me? What are
- 27:17Speaker 1: my relationships telling me? Things won't accidentally get better. You
- 27:22Speaker 1: and I will do the audit. We will observe the thing,
- 27:27Speaker 1: recognize the thing, We'll take ownership of the thing, and
- 27:30Speaker 1: then will work to change the thing that needs to
- 27:32Speaker 1: be changed, or we won't. That's up to you, that's
- 27:36Speaker 1: up to me. Number four on my how to get
- 27:39Speaker 1: Unstuck list is choose to do what scares you. That
- 27:43Speaker 1: is the thing that you need to do to create
- 27:44Speaker 1: the outcome you want. I'm not just talking about what
- 27:47Speaker 1: scares you running in front of a truck. Do that,
- 27:49Speaker 1: And no, of course not I'm talking about strategic, intelligent,
- 27:52Speaker 1: purpose driven facing your fear. Be courageous. Your goal is
- 27:58Speaker 1: not to be fearless. Your goal is not to eradicate
- 28:02Speaker 1: all self doubt. Your goal is, despite your fear, despite
- 28:07Speaker 1: your overthinking, despite your self doubt, despite your insecurity, do
- 28:12Speaker 1: something really fucking brave because you can. Because you can.
- 28:19Speaker 1: I know you don't want to sometimes, I know that
- 28:22Speaker 1: you doubt yourself. At the very least, you're going to
- 28:26Speaker 1: have an experience. You might fuck up, you might fall
- 28:29Speaker 1: down metaphorically, you might get it wrong, and then at
- 28:33Speaker 1: the end of that you have a challenge. By the way,
- 28:36Speaker 1: you might get it right, might be fucking great. Whatever
- 28:38Speaker 1: the outcome is, you're going to learn something. You're going
- 28:41Speaker 1: to learn something. I've spent years doing things that didn't work.
- 28:44Speaker 1: In fact, most of the things that I tried, at
- 28:48Speaker 1: least initially didn't work, or I got a four out
- 28:52Speaker 1: of ten, not a ten out of ten outcome, sometimes
- 28:54Speaker 1: a minus two out of ten. And that is because
- 28:59Speaker 1: I knew. I knew that I well, I didn't know.
- 29:03Speaker 1: Actually I thought that I could probably do this thing eventually,
- 29:06Speaker 1: But in the moment, at the start, I knew that
- 29:08Speaker 1: I wouldn't win. I knew that I wouldn't get it right.
- 29:10Speaker 1: I knew that it wouldn't be perfect. I knew that
- 29:12Speaker 1: it would be flawed. But I also knew that that
- 29:15Speaker 1: imperfection and that flaw and that three or two out
- 29:20Speaker 1: of ten result was a pathway. It was a conduit
- 29:24Speaker 1: to understanding and skill and development and growth and better outcomes.
- 29:30Speaker 1: It's in the middle of doing the things that scare
- 29:33Speaker 1: me that I get better. It's in the middle of
- 29:37Speaker 1: doing the things that I'm uncomfortable with, that I'm unfamiliar with,
- 29:40Speaker 1: around which there is little or no certainty. It's in
- 29:44Speaker 1: the middle of that that I become the best version
- 29:46Speaker 1: of me. It's in the middle of letting fear control
- 29:51Speaker 1: me that I become the worst version of me. Because
- 29:54Speaker 1: if I don't manage my fear, it will manage me.
- 29:58Speaker 1: And I do want to not be are a prisoner
- 30:02Speaker 1: in my own emotions, and neither do you. Number five
- 30:08Speaker 1: is practical, not sexy, not mind blowing. Number five is
- 30:15Speaker 1: right yourself for to do list, and that might just
- 30:18Speaker 1: be two things, that might be two hundred things. Let's
- 30:21Speaker 1: probably not go with two hundred right yourself for to
- 30:24Speaker 1: do list? And fully commit to it, Like fully, this
- 30:29Speaker 1: is me, Now, this is what I do. Now, remove
- 30:33Speaker 1: the escape clause and the safety net, take away the
- 30:38Speaker 1: get out a jail card. Tell somebody else, perhaps, so
- 30:44Speaker 1: that now you've got a level of accountability. Take the
- 30:51Speaker 1: emotion whatever it is that you feel, the thing that
- 30:53Speaker 1: you want to do, that you're excited about but scared
- 30:56Speaker 1: to do. And then with that emotion, that excitement, that goal,
- 31:01Speaker 1: that vision, that dream, that thing that you want to change,
- 31:04Speaker 1: that thing that you are moved to change or do
- 31:07Speaker 1: or be or create, take that emotion and wrap it
- 31:10Speaker 1: in a strategy, Wrap it in a plan, Wrap it
- 31:13Speaker 1: in logic, Wrap it in accountability, wrap it in wrap it.
- 31:18Speaker 1: I'm not saying rabid wrap wrap wrap it in something
- 31:23Speaker 1: which is almost impossible for you to not operationalize. In
- 31:32Speaker 1: other words, do so many people set themselves kind of
- 31:38Speaker 1: a goal or write themselves to do list, but they're
- 31:42Speaker 1: on no level committed. Like if I'm fully committed to something,
- 31:48Speaker 1: fully committed, I mean mentally, emotionally, behaviorally, one boots and all.
- 31:54Speaker 1: Then on the days when I don't feel disciplined, I'm
- 31:59Speaker 1: not you know, ah, inspired, I'm not motivated, I'm not
- 32:03Speaker 1: feeling it. I'm not loving it. It doesn't matter because
- 32:06Speaker 1: I'm fully committed. So barring sickness or injury or some
- 32:10Speaker 1: unavoidable reason, but barring that, I'm doing it. And the
- 32:14Speaker 1: reason that I'm doing it is because I am fully
- 32:18Speaker 1: invested and fully committed to this process to create the
- 32:21Speaker 1: thing I want to create. And we need to get
- 32:24Speaker 1: our head around the idea that this won't be fun, quick, easy,
- 32:30Speaker 1: or painless. And not only is that okay, it's fucking
- 32:33Speaker 1: great because in the middle of all of that, I'm
- 32:36Speaker 1: still going to I'm going to create better results anyway
- 32:38Speaker 1: because I'm doing the workhead down, bum up, I'm focused.
- 32:41Speaker 1: But also the bonus and maybe even the real gift
- 32:44Speaker 1: in the middle of all of this, is that I'm
- 32:46Speaker 1: becoming better. I am making me a stronger me, a
- 32:51Speaker 1: better me, a more resilient me, a more capable me,
- 32:55Speaker 1: a more resourceful creative me, and hopefully a better me
- 33:00Speaker 1: others a better leader, a better communicator, a better dad,
- 33:03Speaker 1: a better mum, a better sister, a better brother, a
- 33:06Speaker 1: better friend, a better problem solver, a better creator. Like
- 33:11Speaker 1: this is kind of the refiner's fire, where we put
- 33:14Speaker 1: ourselves in the fire of that challenge and we come
- 33:18Speaker 1: out the other side. Ah. So that was five and six.
- 33:24Speaker 1: Number seven is extricate yourself from people who perpetuate your stuckness. Oh,
- 33:31Speaker 1: I'll say that again. Extricate yourself from the people who
- 33:36Speaker 1: from people who perpetuate your stuckness. In other words, as
- 33:42Speaker 1: much as possible. And I know there are a lot
- 33:44Speaker 1: of variables around this. You say, yeah, cool, Craig, but
- 33:47Speaker 1: what if one of those people is my partner, or
- 33:49Speaker 1: my brother, or my sister or my Barcelma. I get it.
- 33:53Speaker 1: And so that's why this is global, That's why this
- 33:56Speaker 1: is broad and general. But as much as possible. When
- 33:58Speaker 1: you realize that there is a personal person's on planet
- 34:02Speaker 1: you and we're not blaming them, but we realize that
- 34:05Speaker 1: perhaps they are a contributor, then either if possible, if
- 34:11Speaker 1: possible and appropriate, we extricate ourselves from that relationship or
- 34:15Speaker 1: that environment, or we perhaps change the dynamic, that is,
- 34:21Speaker 1: we maybe see them less, we maybe realize there are
- 34:24Speaker 1: certain conversations we don't have with them. There are people
- 34:27Speaker 1: in my life virtue of situation and circumstance who are
- 34:34Speaker 1: over my journey, have not been encouraging or supportive and
- 34:39Speaker 1: that's okay. Have not had faith in me or confidence
- 34:44Speaker 1: in me, and have at times undermined, questioned, and done
- 34:51Speaker 1: a whole lot of things that really did not help
- 34:54Speaker 1: me to move forward to grow to a vole. In fact,
- 34:58Speaker 1: if I had have paid too much tension, and I
- 35:00Speaker 1: did pay too much attention, but if I hadn't have
- 35:02Speaker 1: been able to extricate myself from that influence, I would
- 35:07Speaker 1: not have done a lot of the things I've done.
- 35:08Speaker 1: And I'm definitely no high watermark for success or post
- 35:12Speaker 1: a board for success. But I've done some really cool
- 35:14Speaker 1: things and I'm very happy and proud of that. But
- 35:18Speaker 1: I realize that there are certain people that although I
- 35:22Speaker 1: may have to have a relationship with them courtesy of
- 35:26Speaker 1: just my life or situation, there are certain people that
- 35:31Speaker 1: I won't have particular conversations with, I won't open certain doors.
- 35:35Speaker 1: And that doesn't mean I hate those people are dislike them.
- 35:37Speaker 1: It doesn't mean that at all. It just means it
- 35:42Speaker 1: just means that there are there will always be people
- 35:45Speaker 1: who don't understand you, or your potential, or your possibilities
- 35:51Speaker 1: or your vision. And that's okay. We're not about hating
- 35:57Speaker 1: on people. We're just about realizing, okay, I need to
- 36:00Speaker 1: And by the way, we're not just looking for people
- 36:02Speaker 1: who tell us what we want to hear. That's the
- 36:04Speaker 1: opposite of what we need. But we're talking about people
- 36:08Speaker 1: who people who genuinely love us and care about us
- 36:13Speaker 1: and will support us, but also give us intelligent, critical feedback,
- 36:19Speaker 1: you know, when required. So we don't need the haters,
- 36:22Speaker 1: and we don't need the over the top, gushy, backslapping,
- 36:25Speaker 1: you know, support group. We don't need that because that
- 36:28Speaker 1: can create problems of itself. But just realize that who
- 36:32Speaker 1: you hang around with matters. In other words, hang out
- 36:36Speaker 1: with people who drag you up. So that I kind
- 36:39Speaker 1: of meshed seven and eight there. So number nine is
- 36:41Speaker 1: this do new things a game? What are we talking about?
- 36:44Speaker 1: We're talking about getting unstuck. Do new things step into
- 36:49Speaker 1: unfamiliar territory. I know that when I do new things
- 36:53Speaker 1: with new people in new environments, I expose myself to
- 36:57Speaker 1: new ideas. I expose myself to even different cultures and
- 37:02Speaker 1: conversations and people. When I do something unme all of
- 37:08Speaker 1: a sudden, I'm doing something new in a way that
- 37:12Speaker 1: I've never done it, perhaps different place, different experiences, and
- 37:16Speaker 1: it opens my brain. It makes me realize that I've
- 37:20Speaker 1: been living in a corridor or an echo chamber. At times,
- 37:24Speaker 1: when we have new experiences, it exposes us to things
- 37:28Speaker 1: that we are generally not exposed to in our day
- 37:31Speaker 1: to day. Sometimes it builds or arouses curiosity. Sometimes it
- 37:37Speaker 1: creates awareness or insights. Sometimes it gives us a different understanding.
- 37:42Speaker 1: Sometimes it creates momentum. You know, for example, the amount
- 37:46Speaker 1: of people that I have worked with over the years
- 37:48Speaker 1: that have done something physical which was a challenge for
- 37:52Speaker 1: the first time, and I coached them towards that. They
- 37:55Speaker 1: did the work, they did the event, they got the outcome,
- 37:58Speaker 1: not me, but I supported and coached them towards that.
- 38:00Speaker 1: So somebody who'd never run in their life, never run
- 38:04Speaker 1: one kilometer, always considered themselves unfit, unhealthy, a complete non athlete.
- 38:10Speaker 1: People have trained up to eventually do marathons, but even
- 38:14Speaker 1: say a ten k or a five k fun run,
- 38:17Speaker 1: when something amazing happens, when people do shit that they
- 38:22Speaker 1: never thought they could do and they get unstuck, they
- 38:27Speaker 1: get unstuck, they get out of the groundhog danus of
- 38:32Speaker 1: overthinking to an extent anyway, But what it does is
- 38:37Speaker 1: it opens It opens new doors. It opens possibilities and
- 38:42Speaker 1: understanding of possibilities and understanding of potential. Because when people
- 38:46Speaker 1: do something that they never thought they could do, instantly
- 38:49Speaker 1: they have a new belief. Or the belief is I
- 38:52Speaker 1: can run a marathon. I know because I just ran
- 38:54Speaker 1: one or a half marathon. The belief is like, oh wow,
- 38:57Speaker 1: I actually have more capacity and more potential then I
- 39:01Speaker 1: believed I got it wrong? What else did I get wrong?
- 39:05Speaker 1: If I can do this, what else can I do?
- 39:08Speaker 1: If I can get out of my own way and
- 39:10Speaker 1: run a marathon, or register a business or build a business,
- 39:13Speaker 1: or do a degree, or lose thirty kilos or menda
- 39:17Speaker 1: relationship or overcome a distractive habit. If I can do that,
- 39:21Speaker 1: what else can I do? And it's in the doing
- 39:24Speaker 1: of especially new things that we've never tried, that we
- 39:30Speaker 1: change and that we open new doors and we create momentum.
- 39:35Speaker 1: You know, it seems I'm kind of weird perhaps that
- 39:40Speaker 1: I say I'm not particularly academic, But I'm not particularly academic,
- 39:45Speaker 1: That's just the truth. But I'm in the middle of
- 39:47Speaker 1: this academic journey right now, and apart from the you know,
- 39:53Speaker 1: the work, and hopefully we'll see hopefully the outcome of
- 39:56Speaker 1: a PhD and all of that stuff, which is, you know, interesting,
- 40:00Speaker 1: I guess the good achievement and all that, But you
- 40:02Speaker 1: know what's really interesting for me is I just know
- 40:06Speaker 1: so much different stuff now. I just have a different insight.
- 40:11Speaker 1: And I'm not a better person than I was, but
- 40:13Speaker 1: I've had in the last four years of my PhD
- 40:16Speaker 1: journey so many new experiences, new conversations, new insights in
- 40:22Speaker 1: new environments, being exposed to new ideas, and just so
- 40:28Speaker 1: much stuff that is so different from the rest of
- 40:31Speaker 1: my life that it's fucking mind blowing. And it just
- 40:36Speaker 1: and honestly like, what are we now do I'm sixty
- 40:40Speaker 1: next month, which is fucking ridiculous, But I've never been
- 40:46Speaker 1: maybe I've been this excited, but I've never been more excited.
- 40:49Speaker 1: I don't think I've never been more curious, like to do,
- 40:57Speaker 1: to keep learning, to keep evolving, to keep optimizing everything
- 41:02Speaker 1: from my body to my brain, to my knowledge, to
- 41:04Speaker 1: my performance, to my emotional state, to my outcomes, to
- 41:08Speaker 1: my relationships, to my business and brand and all of
- 41:11Speaker 1: those things. I'm so fucking excited because my life is well. Fortunately, yeah, fortunately,
- 41:20Speaker 1: I'm very blessed and very lucky. I acknowledge that. But
- 41:23Speaker 1: at the same time, I've worked like a motherfucker for
- 41:26Speaker 1: forty years. I've born in a great country with great parents,
- 41:31Speaker 1: and so I had lots of I had a running start,
- 41:33Speaker 1: as most of us who were born in Australia did
- 41:35Speaker 1: not all. But it's for me a lifetime of doing
- 41:41Speaker 1: new things and to stepping into unfamiliar territory, to exposing
- 41:45Speaker 1: myself to new things, hard things, difficult, unfamiliar things. For me,
- 41:51Speaker 1: that's what's kept me unstuck, opening businesses, building, helping build
- 41:59Speaker 1: an industry, person training, writing the first course, writing books,
- 42:04Speaker 1: getting books published and distributed, working on the radio, working
- 42:07Speaker 1: in television, going back to or start doing my first
- 42:11Speaker 1: degree at thirty six years of age, going back at
- 42:13Speaker 1: fifty six. You know, for another crack, just this capacity
- 42:20Speaker 1: that we all have to just keep doing new things,
- 42:24Speaker 1: having new experiences, that we might keep growing and learning
- 42:28Speaker 1: and evolving. Number ten is a bit deep and philosophical,
- 42:33Speaker 1: but that's me tap into you. Number ten is tap
- 42:35Speaker 1: into your internal sat Nab. And if you know me,
- 42:40Speaker 1: you've heard this term many times. Your internal sat Nab
- 42:43Speaker 1: is that kind of knowing, that wisdom that insight, that
- 42:49Speaker 1: intelligence that comes from I don't know where. Maybe it's instinct,
- 42:55Speaker 1: maybe it's intuition, maybe it's divine. I don't know what
- 42:57Speaker 1: it is. I really do not know what it is.
- 42:59Speaker 1: But I do know that I have that you have.
- 43:03Speaker 1: That we all have a knowledge, a knowing, and an
- 43:08Speaker 1: understanding and a level of wisdom and insight that is innate.
- 43:15Speaker 1: I'm not talking about things that we got taught or
- 43:18Speaker 1: things that we got told, or I'm not talking about
- 43:21Speaker 1: acquired knowledge. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about
- 43:26Speaker 1: in the middle of the bullshit, there's always this still
- 43:29Speaker 1: quiet voice. There's always this deep seated knowing of what
- 43:34Speaker 1: we should do and shouldn't do. And sometimes we just
- 43:38Speaker 1: drowned that out with noise and with chaos and with
- 43:41Speaker 1: busyness and booze and drugs and lack of focus and attention.
- 43:45Speaker 1: But when we can be still, where we can hit
- 43:47Speaker 1: the pause button, when we can find some space and
- 43:51Speaker 1: some time and some quiet, then we can realize and
- 43:57Speaker 1: come to see and understand things that we don't when
- 44:01Speaker 1: we're in our head, when we're trapped in our head,
- 44:04Speaker 1: when we're trapped in the momentum and the chaos of life.
- 44:08Speaker 1: And this requires again discipline, This requires some time. This
- 44:12Speaker 1: is not something that you can do in the middle
- 44:14Speaker 1: of the bullshit. This is something that rere Maybe it
- 44:18Speaker 1: means that five minutes, you know, you have fourteen hundred
- 44:20Speaker 1: and forty minutes a day. Maybe it means five minutes
- 44:24Speaker 1: you sit somewhere and you try to switch off and
- 44:28Speaker 1: you just see what comes up for you. You just feel
- 44:30Speaker 1: what you feel, and maybe you get out of your
- 44:33Speaker 1: head and maybe you get into your heart, maybe you
- 44:35Speaker 1: see what's going on in there. Number eleven, we've got
- 44:38Speaker 1: three more to go. Number eleven is keep trying. And
- 44:41Speaker 1: that's one of those things you think, well, you wouldn't
- 44:43Speaker 1: have to say that, But the truth is people don't
- 44:45Speaker 1: keep trying. The truth is people try and then they stop.
- 44:49Speaker 1: But if they kept trying and they kept trying and
- 44:52Speaker 1: they improvised and adapted, you know, and overcame and survived
- 44:56Speaker 1: and just figured it out and fell down and got
- 44:59Speaker 1: up and fell down and got up and you know,
- 45:02Speaker 1: fucked up and got back up, and you know, sometimes
- 45:05Speaker 1: it just comes down to not giving up. That's not sexy,
- 45:09Speaker 1: that doesn't require three HDS. You didn't need to pay
- 45:12Speaker 1: for that. But some people just don't give up, and
- 45:15Speaker 1: they're not, you know, and they outperformed people with more
- 45:18Speaker 1: talent and skill and a higher IQ and better genetics.
- 45:22Speaker 1: And I think part of the reason I've done okay
- 45:26Speaker 1: is that, like and for me, I've said this before,
- 45:30Speaker 1: because I wasn't the naturally gifted, talented, genetically blessed kid,
- 45:35Speaker 1: I always had to work harder for everything. I had
- 45:37Speaker 1: to work harder to get in shape, and harder to
- 45:39Speaker 1: make sporting teams, and harder to get academic results, and
- 45:43Speaker 1: harder to even fit in socially because I wasn't the
- 45:47Speaker 1: naturally charming, charismatic, gifted kid. I wasn't that, And so
- 45:51Speaker 1: my my mediocrity in some ways for me was a gift,
- 45:57Speaker 1: and it was a gift that turned into resilience. It
- 46:00Speaker 1: was the gift that turned into the capacity that I
- 46:04Speaker 1: have to keep going to not give up, to be
- 46:06Speaker 1: able to deal with what many people would call failures.
- 46:09Speaker 1: I will generally call them insight into you know, what's
- 46:13Speaker 1: working and what's not. Fall down, Get up, Fall down
- 46:19Speaker 1: six times, get up seven. Number twelve. This is an
- 46:25Speaker 1: interesting one. Actually, Now I'm going to do that one
- 46:28Speaker 1: last number, so we'll call this one number twelve. You
- 46:31Speaker 1: don't know what I'm talking about, but I just switched
- 46:33Speaker 1: my own list around. Number twelve is build a new
- 46:35Speaker 1: relationship with this comfort. I talk about this too much, probably,
- 46:40Speaker 1: but I'm saying this for those of you who are
- 46:42Speaker 1: relatively new and haven't heard much of me. I'm going
- 46:45Speaker 1: to tell you that our capacity to be able to
- 46:48Speaker 1: deal with discomfort and do things that we don't want
- 46:50Speaker 1: to do and things that are not fun, quick, easy,
- 46:52Speaker 1: or painless, that is a superpower. That is a personal
- 46:56Speaker 1: development superpower. Because when we can, when we can lean
- 47:02Speaker 1: into the discomfort, when we can when we can embrace
- 47:07Speaker 1: the hard thing, when we can choose to physically, mentally,
- 47:10Speaker 1: emotionally work against resistance. Just like we go to the gym,
- 47:14Speaker 1: we work against resistance. The byproduct is strength. The byproduct
- 47:20Speaker 1: is we build resilience and capacity and insight. We do
- 47:23Speaker 1: a hard thing and we develop. And when we are
- 47:27Speaker 1: prepared to change our relationship with discomfort, that is, we
- 47:31Speaker 1: are prepared to lean into the pain in an intelligent, strategic,
- 47:35Speaker 1: not a reckless or silly way, but prepared to embrace
- 47:39Speaker 1: pain on a daily basis sometimes or embrace discomfort, then
- 47:45Speaker 1: we accelerate our growth, we accelerate our learning, we accelerate
- 47:48Speaker 1: our resilience. Every day in my life, I do things
- 47:51Speaker 1: that I don't want to do, things that are uncomfortable,
- 47:54Speaker 1: but things that I need to do to live my
- 47:56Speaker 1: best life. Every day, every day I do things that
- 47:59Speaker 1: if it was just up to my comfort level or
- 48:02Speaker 1: what I would like to do, or what is fun
- 48:05Speaker 1: or what is convenient, there's shit that I would absolutely
- 48:08Speaker 1: not do. But because of my commitment to being the
- 48:14Speaker 1: best version of me, I do that stuff on autopilot.
- 48:17Speaker 1: I don't overthink it because I realize that's the commitment.
- 48:20Speaker 1: That's the price that I need to invest every day.
- 48:25Speaker 1: That's the emotional, physical, mental investment that I need to
- 48:28Speaker 1: make every day to create outcomes I want to create.
- 48:31Speaker 1: And the last one, Number thirteen is is is deep.
- 48:37Speaker 1: Number thirteen is don't ask me why thirteen. I've just
- 48:41Speaker 1: come up with thirteen points. Number thirteen is considing or mortality.
- 48:47Speaker 1: One of the things I think about is where I
- 48:50Speaker 1: am now, Not in a morbid way or a dark way,
- 48:54Speaker 1: but where I am now in the totality of Craig
- 49:00Speaker 1: Harper's life. I think about nine Aeen sixty three and
- 49:05Speaker 1: I think about twenty twenty three, So nineteen sixty three
- 49:08Speaker 1: September I was born September twenty eight, So next month,
- 49:12Speaker 1: September twenty eight, I'll be sixty. And I go, wow,
- 49:17Speaker 1: if I'm a typical Australian male, whatever that is, but
- 49:22Speaker 1: I'm going to live if I'm typical to around eighty.
- 49:27Speaker 1: Might be eighty one or eighty two, but let's just
- 49:29Speaker 1: round it out to eighty. So if you go, well, Craig,
- 49:31Speaker 1: if you're typical, your three quarters done. If I'm typical,
- 49:38Speaker 1: let's hope I'm not. Let's hope I have a few
- 49:39Speaker 1: more years than that. But if I'm typical, I have
- 49:43Speaker 1: about twenty years to live. Now. I know that you
- 49:45Speaker 1: might go, oh, that's fucking sad or dark or also real.
- 49:49Speaker 1: Also potentially that's my reality. Potentially, like I said, hopefully
- 49:54Speaker 1: I can live longer and better, but who knows. And
- 49:59Speaker 1: so I think sometimes it's good to, albeit somewhat uncomfortable
- 50:03Speaker 1: and scary, to think about where am I on my journey,
- 50:08Speaker 1: on my human journey? How much longer on my human
- 50:12Speaker 1: journey am I going to wait? How much longer am
- 50:17Speaker 1: I going to feed myself? Bullshit? Either? Cognitively, emotionally or
- 50:22Speaker 1: literally eating shit crap food. How much longer am I
- 50:27Speaker 1: going to waste my time, my talent, my potential. Am
- 50:31Speaker 1: I going to do it till I'm seventy? Am I
- 50:33Speaker 1: going to do it till I just dropped dead? One day?
- 50:37Speaker 1: Like what in the context of what really matters to me,
- 50:42Speaker 1: in the context of the totality of my life? This
- 50:46Speaker 1: is my only life. I can't get another one. I
- 50:48Speaker 1: can't get another body. And so for me who looks
- 50:51Speaker 1: at the you know, just I once drew a dot
- 50:56Speaker 1: on the left hand side of my white border, dot
- 50:58Speaker 1: on the right, and then I kind of I've figured
- 51:02Speaker 1: out my timeline where I was at, and I looked
- 51:04Speaker 1: at the context of the totality of my life based
- 51:07Speaker 1: on eighty years, and you know, that line was three
- 51:10Speaker 1: quarters complete. I'm like wow. And of course there are
- 51:15Speaker 1: a few variables that hopefully I can influence and control
- 51:18Speaker 1: about doing the next twenty years or your longer perhaps better.
- 51:23Speaker 1: But this is great sometimes as uncomfortable as it might be,
- 51:27Speaker 1: but it is great to step back and go fuck
- 51:30Speaker 1: my life, my life, what am I doing? Like, where
- 51:34Speaker 1: am I at? What's going on with my job? And
- 51:37Speaker 1: me and my relationships and my body and my staff,
- 51:39Speaker 1: and my happiness and my purpose and my reason and
- 51:43Speaker 1: my spiritual life, my religion, norm whatever it is that
- 51:46Speaker 1: matters to you. Like one day, you and I we
- 51:52Speaker 1: ain't going to be here, yeah, and we need to
- 51:54Speaker 1: think about well, we don't need to do anything. But
- 51:57Speaker 1: I'm keen on figuring out, Okay, what am I going
- 52:00Speaker 1: to do?
- 52:01Speaker 2: Be?
- 52:01Speaker 1: Create? Change? What am I going to do in the
- 52:03Speaker 1: next twenty or thirty years. And it's not all about
- 52:05Speaker 1: ticking boxes and achieving, And it's not all about that.
- 52:08Speaker 1: I also want to have fun. I also want to laugh.
- 52:10Speaker 1: I also want joy. I also want to watch Netflix
- 52:14Speaker 1: and ride motorbikes and fucking hang out with friends. But
- 52:17Speaker 1: at the same time, I want to be the best
- 52:20Speaker 1: version of me. I want to live as long as
- 52:23Speaker 1: I can optimally. I want to eat great food. I
- 52:26Speaker 1: want to live in a great body. I want to
- 52:28Speaker 1: I want to have a great, healthy mind. I want
- 52:30Speaker 1: a healthy brain. I want healthy relationships. I want to
- 52:33Speaker 1: do shit that's rewarding, fulfilling and fun. I don't want
- 52:37Speaker 1: to let father time or mother nature take a hold.
- 52:44Speaker 1: There are things that I can do to self regulate
- 52:46Speaker 1: and self manage, which means I can live longer for
- 52:50Speaker 1: better if I do certain things well. I feel like
- 52:54Speaker 1: that was worth sharing. I'm not sure if it was
- 52:56Speaker 1: worth listening to. I enjoyed sharing it with you. I
- 53:00Speaker 1: love your collective gutses. Are enjoy a day over and out.