Latest / Networking Unleashed: Building Profitable Connections / Networking Unleashed: S1E67 An Interview with Sabine Gedeon and Michael A Forman, Public Speaker

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Networking Unleashed: S1E67 An Interview with Sabine Gedeon and Michael A Forman, Public Speaker · Networking Unleashed: Building Profitable Connections

0:16
Welcome back to Networking Unleashed, Building
0:19
Profitable Connections, the podcast where we
0:23
explore the art and impact of powerful relationships
0:26
in business and life. I'm your host, Michael
0:30
Foreman, and today we're diving deep into one
0:34
of the most transformational concepts in networking,
0:38
developing a connector mindset. Joining me is
0:42
someone who just doesn't talk about connection,
0:44
she lives it. She's built her career around understanding
0:48
ecosystems, elevating success circles, and helping
0:52
people turn their relationships into real results.
0:56
If you've ever wondered how to move beyond surface
0:59
-level networking and actually tap into the full
1:03
force of the people around you, this episode
1:06
is your playbook. We'll unpack how to find your
1:10
support ecosystem, build career momentum through
1:14
connection, and engage your network in a way
1:17
that drives long -term success, not just short
1:21
-term wins. Get ready to shift your perspective
1:24
and sharpen your networking game, because today
1:27
we're not just making contacts, we're making
1:30
moves. Let's welcome to the show Sabine Gideon.
1:34
Sabine, welcome to the podcast. Thank you. I'm
1:39
excited to be here. I loved that introduction.
1:42
I work hard on it. So why don't you just give
1:46
us a little insight of your background, and we'll
1:49
take it from there. Absolutely. I'll cut to the
1:52
short of it today. Like I run a business that
1:55
is a professional development firm. So I work
1:57
with individuals and organizations who are looking
2:00
for coaching in the space of executive coaching,
2:02
leadership development. I do a lot of workshops
2:05
for organizations and associations as well. Part
2:10
of why I feel like I've been able to remain in
2:13
business today is for the use of my network or
2:16
being able to leverage it in a way that is mutually
2:19
beneficial. But that actually started in my corporate
2:23
career. When I first started Corporate America
2:25
right out of undergrad, I majored in HR, went
2:29
into HR. I'm also a background. I'm an immigrant
2:32
from Haiti. So I came here just shy of four,
2:35
first generation, everything. That's important
2:38
because the narrative that was taught in my household
2:41
was you got to work hard. You got to work hard.
2:44
The way to advance in life is to work hard. And
2:47
so that's the model that I applied, did all the
2:50
things, was the first and whatnot. And then I
2:52
got into corporate America and I was working
2:55
hard. I was taking on all the extra projects
2:57
at the time. FaceTime was a big thing, right?
3:00
So you get in before your boss, you leave after
3:03
them, leave your emotions at the door, all those
3:05
messages. And I even also took on all the dots.
3:09
And dots is a term coined by one of my former
3:13
managers. And dots are development opportunities
3:15
that suck. So basically, it was the projects
3:19
or the things that no one else needed to do,
3:21
no one else wanted to do, but needed to get done.
3:24
And of course, my hard work mindset, I'll take
3:26
on the dots, thinking that was going to somehow
3:29
elevate me or at least get me the recognition
3:31
for the next step. And it didn't. I learned then
3:34
at 23 or 24 that the reward for hard work is
3:38
more hard work. And so that's when I started
3:41
observing the people around me. I started asking
3:43
the question of, OK, wait a minute, what else
3:46
do I have to do to move ahead? And I started
3:49
to pay attention to some of my colleagues who
3:52
were. navigating seamlessly easy throughout the
3:56
organization. And I refer to, it's a few people,
4:00
but I refer to them as one, as Bob. So if anyone's
4:03
listening, your name is Bob, please don't take
4:05
offense to this. But I started observing Bob
4:08
and what I noticed that Bob was doing differently
4:11
than me was that he was having meetings with
4:13
our manager, the senior level manager. At the
4:17
time, I didn't even know that that term was called
4:19
a skip level meeting. He was getting invited
4:21
to projects and doing things that like, I was
4:24
just like, wait a minute, he get that. He's,
4:26
I used to say mediocre at best. It sounds a little
4:28
harsh now, but I observed and rather than sit
4:33
in my bitterness and resentment, I was just like,
4:35
okay, if Bob is able to get these. special projects
4:38
or he's navigating his career differently because
4:41
he's, one, having conversations with people who
4:44
are in positions of authority or influence. Two,
4:47
he's letting them know what it is that he wants
4:50
to do next. And then most importantly, he's finding
4:53
out what's important to them, what's on the horizon.
4:57
And he's positioning himself for those opportunities.
5:00
And so I started to apply what Bob was doing
5:03
in my corporate career where, yes, I had mentors,
5:06
I had coaches, but I was starting these conversations
5:09
more strategic where I'd go in with the senior
5:11
leader instead of asking, hey, tell me about
5:13
your career and how you got here. It was more,
5:16
oh, so you've been in this role for a while.
5:18
Where do you see yourself next? What are some
5:20
of the challenges? What are some of the things
5:22
that might hinder you from moving? towards that
5:24
and as I uncovered these things that's when I
5:27
started to one find people resources whatever
5:31
I could be of value to support that to build
5:34
that relationship and move forward and so that
5:37
was the long of the story but I took what I learned
5:40
in corporate because that that change really
5:44
catapulted my career until I got to the place
5:47
in corporate where I was just like ah I don't
5:49
want to do this anymore. This is not where I
5:51
see me fulfilling at the time, my purpose and
5:54
my great legacy. And I stepped out and started
5:58
my business. At the same time, we were just talking
6:00
in the green room. I left corporate America,
6:03
started the business, and then moved across the
6:05
country to California and San Diego, where I
6:09
knew. barely anyone. So as you can imagine, that
6:12
was not an easy experience, but I leveraged what
6:15
I had learned earlier in my career, which was
6:18
networking. And so I took to LinkedIn, I took
6:21
to local events, and that's how I was able to
6:23
build my business. It'll be seven years in July
6:26
as of the time of this recording through my network
6:29
in a brand new city, in a, not a brand new industry,
6:33
but definitely a new business. Great. And really,
6:38
you went to the school of hard knocks. I tell
6:40
everybody I went to the school of hard knocks.
6:43
I learned what not to do before I learned what
6:46
to do. And really, from what I hear, is that
6:50
you learned what to ask. You didn't just let
6:54
life happen. You have to just you have to go
6:57
for it. And I really found out at an early age
7:00
that it's not going to be given to you. You've
7:03
got to take it. And you've got to see the opportunities
7:07
because they're all around us. You have to see
7:09
the opportunities and you have to seize the opportunities.
7:14
So that's very good. Okay, so let's set the tone
7:17
a little bit. You talk about developing a connector
7:21
mindset. What does that mean in practice and
7:25
how can someone start building it today? Yeah,
7:28
great question. So mindset in general, right?
7:32
As a business owner, I've had to learn the hard
7:35
way because when I was in corporate, we didn't
7:37
talk about mindset. And before Carol Dweck with
7:40
her book, Mindset, that wasn't as much of a common
7:43
thing. I'm a firm believer that our mindset,
7:46
which are our thoughts, our beliefs, and the
7:48
emotions that we've attached to certain things
7:50
is 80 % of our success in any venture, right?
7:53
So whatever goal you have. 80 % of your ability
7:57
to be successful in achieving that thing is going
8:00
to be around what you think, what you believe
8:02
is possible for you moving towards that. And
8:06
then 20 % is execution. So when I think about
8:09
the Connectors Mindset and the way that I teach
8:11
it is really around most people, we talk networking
8:15
because this is our life, right? For most people,
8:17
networking is like a four letter word, right?
8:19
Like it is just the thing that no one wants to
8:22
do. It's bad. It's icky. It's all the things,
8:25
all the labels. Right. And so when people have
8:28
that mindset around something that is probably.
8:31
Outside of communication, I think the greatest
8:34
skill that you can have, it's really important
8:37
to help them break down, okay, what challenges
8:39
or roadblocks are you having towards that? So
8:41
when it comes to the connector mindset, it's
8:43
really an understanding of this is you building
8:46
a relationship with someone else. And there are
8:49
certain elements that I include in that. So with
8:52
the connector mindset, it's taken from Stephen
8:55
Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.
8:58
You make deposits before you make withdrawals.
9:01
So what does that mean? That means that if you're
9:03
looking to connect with someone, and I think
9:05
I heard you share on one of your earlier podcasts,
9:08
you have that framework of form, right? You can't
9:12
get to form. Unless you've actually asked some
9:15
questions. Unless you've actually taken the time,
9:18
invested the time to understand what's important
9:21
to this person. What do they have going on? Understanding
9:24
how you can help support them. So I'm really
9:26
big on, and Bob Berg is another, the go -giver,
9:29
right? So it's when you meet someone, identify
9:32
what's important to them. What do they have going
9:34
on? You looking at your resources and your capacity
9:38
and then giving to them. And when the time is
9:42
right, asking. So that's the first thing about
9:44
a connector's mindset. The second piece is really
9:47
you doing a value assessment. So not a values
9:51
assessment. We have our values, our core values,
9:54
but a value assessment. So you assessing yourself.
9:58
What are your skills? What are you good at? What
10:00
do you bring to the table? What is your knowledge?
10:04
What do you know? Who do you know? What experiences
10:07
have you had that could be of support to another
10:10
person? And then what are your opportunities?
10:12
And so your opportunities could be the places
10:14
where you have a gap. You're not so good at it,
10:18
right? Let's just say you and I met at a networking
10:20
event, right? And so you ask, oh, so tell me
10:22
about yourself. I'm an executive coach, a leadership
10:25
development consultant. I've been here in San
10:27
Diego for the last seven years. But quite honestly,
10:30
I'm at a point right now where I need to build
10:32
my community here locally. And so. having the
10:36
opportunity to network and navigate the business
10:39
community here would be really helpful for me.
10:41
So if you saw what I did with that value assessment,
10:43
like I talked about my skills, I talked about
10:45
the things that I was good at, but then I also
10:47
infused, this is where the opportunity is, right?
10:51
So now that's given that person the space or
10:55
an opportunity to use the word again, to say,
10:57
oh, really interesting, tell me more, or who
11:00
would be a good person for me to connect you
11:02
with? And so it's doing the work. It's almost
11:05
you have to do the work up front before you even
11:07
step into a networking room or a Zoom or any
11:12
virtual place. But you're getting clear on what
11:15
you're bringing to the table, what your opportunities
11:17
are. You're building the confidence. to be able
11:21
to articulate that to someone else. And then
11:23
you're also ready to give so that you don't have
11:26
that block of, what if they ask me for something?
11:29
Or what if they're expecting something of me?
11:31
You've done that pre -work so that it's a nice,
11:34
natural, casual exchange. You touched on so many
11:40
points that were so relevant to what networking
11:44
is. But one thing you said, because - You're
11:48
very confident in what you're doing. The mindset,
11:51
you've totally accomplished what you've set out.
11:54
Let's go back about 10 years in your corporate
11:58
environment and your mindset was completely different.
12:02
Very quickly, how did you shift that mindset
12:06
from that corporate world to where you are today?
12:09
Yeah, it's a really great question. So back,
12:12
if we go back 10 years, networking, if it was
12:15
a four letter word now, it was something else
12:17
before, right? It was just that you walk into
12:20
a room, you grab your drink, you grab your cheese
12:22
plate. And as soon as you go to put something
12:24
in your mouth, someone walks up to you like,
12:26
hey, what do you do? Or you're exchanging all
12:29
these business cards and then never did anything
12:31
with them. Luckily for me, I had the same senior
12:34
manager who gave me the DOTS acronym. She, when
12:38
we would go to networking events. And granted,
12:40
I was also in recruiting in the earlier part
12:43
of my career, which required me to be out and
12:46
about having conversations, meeting and greetings.
12:48
But I think my work forced me into that space.
12:51
But when I went to just casual networking events,
12:54
she used to give me the charge of you need to
12:56
collect at least three business cards. right
12:59
within that event. And then you need to follow
13:02
up with these people. And so that was something
13:04
that I started doing from a networking perspective.
13:06
And so that became the tactical side of it, right?
13:09
This is what I do. It wasn't until when probably.
13:14
So I didn't share this part. The last organization
13:17
that I had, they moved me around quite a bit.
13:20
So within a two year period, I went from living
13:23
in Connecticut most of my life to Houston to
13:25
Charlotte and then West Palm Beach. Right. And
13:28
so if we really track back 10 years ago, that
13:32
was the catalyst for me to change my mindset.
13:34
Because now I didn't have the community that
13:37
I had most of my life. And so knowing that you're
13:40
moving around every eight months, you have to
13:43
get into whatever city environment that you're
13:45
in, build relationships, understand who people
13:48
are, and be able to make the best of that knowing
13:52
that you're going to leave. And so for me, the
13:54
catalyst was actually all of the moves and the
13:57
external things that were happening where I realized,
14:01
okay, this is, I'm here for a while. I got to
14:03
build relationship really quickly, build rapport,
14:05
gain the trust of the people that I'm working
14:07
with, the people that I'm around in community,
14:09
and then move to the next place and do it all
14:12
over again. So I didn't understand, to answer
14:15
your question or finalize it, I didn't understand
14:18
that there was a mindset shift that happened.
14:21
I think I did it more so out of, necessity because
14:24
of the situation that I was in. Necessity is
14:28
the mother of invention, right? So you don't
14:32
really know you have to do until you have to
14:33
do it. It's like, you don't know what you don't
14:35
know. Very good. Okay. So what role has your
14:40
network played in your biggest career breakthroughs
14:43
or pivots? Yeah, that's another really great
14:47
question. So I'll go back to when I first moved
14:49
out here to San Diego. Like I said, I knew a
14:51
handful of people. And I had signed up with this.
14:54
It was like a challenge, some Facebook group
14:56
challenge of a conversation challenge. And at
14:59
that time moving here, I had a limited amount
15:02
of savings trying to get this business up. And
15:05
so literally I took to LinkedIn and this is this
15:07
was my strategy. I would not advise it. And LinkedIn
15:10
doesn't let you do it as much anymore anyways.
15:12
But literally I identified and scoped out. Everyone
15:17
who was like in HR related role, because that
15:20
was my background here in San Diego. And every
15:23
day I set a goal of reaching out to a hundred
15:26
people here in San Diego. And the, and it wasn't
15:29
about like gaining business. It's literally,
15:31
I'm here in the city. I don't know anyone, but
15:33
HR was a common ground. And so I would just send
15:36
out messages or invite, Hey, I'm new to San Diego.
15:39
Would love to connect with you. And I said, yeah,
15:42
I'm like starting a consultancy in a leadership
15:43
development firm. Right. And so. Every day, I
15:47
think for about six months, so just almost six
15:49
months, Monday through Friday, not took the weekends
15:52
off, but reached out to a hundred people. Then
15:54
when they would connect with me, I'd follow up
15:57
and say, hey, thank you so much for connecting
15:59
with me. If you ever want to do, back then we
16:02
did more in -person stuff. If you ever want to
16:04
meet for coffee or lunch, please let me know.
16:06
I can't remember what the statistics were, but
16:09
probably maybe 20 % of those thousands of people
16:12
that I reached out actually came back to me.
16:15
And maybe some of them we met up with, some of
16:18
them we just kept in touch. But I remember vividly
16:21
probably around the fifth month of doing this,
16:26
I got someone who like booked a discovery call.
16:29
And I got on the discovery call, not knowing
16:32
who this person was or where they were coming
16:34
from. And they were like, oh, such and such gave
16:37
me your contact information. She said the name
16:40
and the name didn't even register to me. I was
16:43
like, I have no idea who that is. I'll ask her
16:45
later. Long story short, Michael, that turned
16:48
out to be the biggest contract that I have had
16:51
in my entrepreneurial career to this day. And
16:55
I can tell you the person that she said gave
16:57
her my name. I reached out to this person. I
17:01
was like, by the way, like, how'd you get in
17:03
touch with me? Or how'd you know about me? She
17:05
was like, oh, I put feelers out with my network.
17:08
So it's almost like the person who ended up being
17:11
the recommendation was someone I had no contact
17:14
in. But the seeds that I had sown over that five,
17:18
six month period is what allowed enough people
17:21
to get to know me, see that I was genuine, throw
17:25
my hat in the ring that led to that success.
17:28
One thing that I try to teach all of my clients
17:33
is that you're not only talking to the people
17:38
that you're talking to, you're talking to their
17:40
network of people. And because I've gotten so
17:44
many referrals from two and three people removed
17:47
that I'm like, how did you get my name? And he'd
17:51
give me the name and it didn't ring a bell. So
17:54
I asked that person, oh, Joe, what's his face?
17:57
Give me your name. I'm like, oh, I know Joe,
18:00
but I didn't know you. But I want to thank you
18:02
for the referral and everything else. But it's
18:04
amazing that you can speak to a person like at
18:08
a Chamber of Commerce event, 45 people. But you're
18:12
talking to those 45 people's network and it goes
18:16
on from there. So, yeah, so the power of networking
18:18
is just an incredible thing. Incredible. You
18:22
emphasize ecosystems. How can somebody identify
18:26
and tap into theirs if they don't know where
18:29
to start? Yeah. So you actually set it up perfectly
18:33
with what you just said, right? That we're not
18:35
just engaging with a person, but we're engaging
18:38
with that person's networks, right? And so when
18:41
you think about ecosystems and you think about
18:43
networking, most people are going to think about
18:44
professional, right? Who are the people that
18:46
I work with now, the people I've worked with,
18:48
maybe past clients, right? But think about it
18:51
bigger, right? So there's our personal ecosystem.
18:54
That's the friends, the family, right? There's
18:57
the community ecosystem. So that's the city that
19:00
we live in, the town that we live in, like all
19:03
of the things, right? The people who take care
19:04
of our lawns, right? Like they're part of that
19:06
ecosystem. When you think about finances, right?
19:09
That's the, if you have a banker, like that's
19:12
your banker, that might be your mortgage loan
19:14
officer. That might be, yeah, I don't know, your
19:16
financial advisor, right? So there are these
19:19
ecosystems that we have educational, right? So
19:22
that might be the people that you are part of
19:25
your alumni. be past professors that you've worked
19:28
with, right? When you start to look at it from
19:30
an ecosystem in these categories, we can see
19:33
that our networks are so much larger than we
19:36
believe them to be. I think I was listening to
19:38
something not too long ago, and it said the statistic
19:41
where most people know about 600 people, like
19:44
maybe like people that you can actually name
19:46
that you've engaged with. So now take that 600.
19:50
and multiply that out to their 600. That is huge.
19:55
And when I talk about networking from the perspective
19:57
of looking at your ecosystems, most people don't
20:00
even think about, oh yeah, my realtor is part
20:03
of my network, right? My investment banker is
20:06
part of my network. Oh, the person who does my
20:08
taxes, that's part of my network. And so it's
20:11
really broadening out, not just from the people
20:14
that you deal with on a day -to -day basis or
20:16
maybe one or two times a year, but looking -
20:19
at the, I think it's five or six ecosystems overall
20:22
of individuals. And I think the most underused
20:26
ecosystem, and this is a tricky one because friends
20:29
and family aren't going to be your clients and
20:32
like, they're never going to be your clients.
20:34
But if you can get friends and family to understand
20:37
what it is that you do, like they are your best,
20:40
they can become your best supporters and marketers.
20:43
I have to stress that they have to know what
20:45
you do because I have family members. who are
20:48
close to me who still don't know what I do. So
20:51
there's that. They just have to understand and
20:54
understand who it is that you want to partner
20:56
with. And usually they're your biggest advocates
20:58
that can spread the word. Yeah, I have a lot
21:01
of family members that say, what do I do? Oh,
21:04
he talks to people. What do you mean he talks?
21:07
I go across the country. I go on different stages.
21:10
I go into big business. I do workshops. I do
21:14
a whole lot. I don't just talk to people. But
21:16
that's a whole nother ballgame. Okay. So many
21:21
people think networking is just about meeting
21:23
people. How do you move from connections to real
21:27
mutual support? Yeah, that's a really great question.
21:31
And networking is so much more than meeting people
21:34
because we meet people all the time, right? It
21:36
doesn't necessarily lead into anything. So I'm
21:39
really big on human interaction and human relationships,
21:43
but... systemized processes in the background.
21:48
So for me, like I mentioned, when I was Meet,
21:51
I was reaching out to 100 people on LinkedIn
21:54
every day, right? There was a spreadsheet that
21:56
was systemizing it. There were calendar invites
21:59
that were reminding me to follow up with people.
22:02
There were things that were happening in the
22:03
background then. over time, all these cool tools
22:06
that have come up have really shifted that. So
22:09
for me, and this is, and I'm speaking from the
22:12
perspective here of my, what I consider my personal
22:15
network, right? So not my broad network. I have
22:17
14 ,000 people on LinkedIn, right? I don't know
22:20
all of them, but there is a circle. There is
22:22
a core group of about 100 people that I am intentional
22:25
about keeping in touch with. Now, at this stage
22:28
in my life and business, I can't remember all
22:31
these other people, all these people all the
22:33
time. So I keep I use a tool like Streak. And
22:36
I don't know if you've ever heard of Streak.
22:37
S -T -R -E -A -K. So it's a Google. Is it a CRM?
22:42
Yeah, you can use it at that. Yeah, it's a Google.
22:45
Chrome plugin. And what I love about Streak is
22:48
that I can go in and say, all right, on May 15th,
22:52
I spoke with Michael. This is what we talked
22:54
about. Let's set a follow -up for three months
22:57
from now. Three months from now, there's a calendar
23:00
invite. It creates a calendar invite. And I get
23:03
an email the day before that says, hey, Sabine,
23:05
you need to reach out to Michael. And I could
23:07
put notes in there, right? So I use Streak for
23:10
my personal network, the people who have built
23:12
relationships with us as past clients. These
23:15
are prospects or leads. These are individuals
23:18
and organizations that I hold dear to my circle.
23:21
Now, the CRM, the official CRM, which I use for
23:25
active campaign, that's what I keep for like
23:27
leads. prospects and businesses so I separate
23:30
the two out because I think there's the value
23:34
of that larger network and keeping in touch with
23:37
them in like more automated spaces but the people
23:40
who are actually the ones that you're giving
23:41
referrals they're going to give referrals you
23:43
need to add that human touch or that extra touch
23:46
so that's what I use that system for I think
23:48
that Very good. No, it did. It answered it perfectly.
23:54
Let's talk about career circles. What are they
23:57
and how can someone build and revive theirs right
24:00
now? Yeah, great question. So I'm going to respond
24:04
to this in the sense of most of the people that
24:06
you're dealing with are entrepreneurs. I have
24:09
a career circle for people who are in corporate
24:12
trying to build their board of advisors, but
24:14
I got this from the notion. I think her name
24:17
is Jane. I can't remember her, her last name
24:19
right now. It's from the book, the super connectors.
24:23
And so I read this book years ago and she gave
24:27
the concept of your five. you're 50 and you're
24:31
100, right? So these are like the circles of
24:34
people that you maintain contact with. And so
24:37
your top five are usually like the people who
24:40
are like closest to you, right? So it could be
24:42
the husband, the wife, the kids, a mother, whatever
24:45
the case may be. The top five people, I like
24:47
to say, these are the people that you're not
24:48
afraid to ugly cry in front of, right? This is
24:50
your support circle. And it could be best friend,
24:53
whatever it is, but these are the top five people.
24:56
And you're likely... keeping in contact with
24:58
these people at least every day, if not every
25:00
day, at least once a week, right? So that's your
25:02
core circle. Then your 50, then your next level
25:06
is your top 50. These are individuals that are
25:08
a lot broader, right? And these are considered
25:11
the people that are part of your circle of influence.
25:13
And these can include clients, past employers.
25:17
They can include people you've done business
25:19
with. If you're part of a chamber, people within
25:21
the chamber. These are individuals that you're
25:23
touching base with at least once a month or maybe
25:26
every other month. but that there's a continuum
25:29
connection where you are touching base with these
25:32
people. And then the larger group is the top
25:35
100. this is like your most fluid, right? Because
25:38
people are going to come in and out depending
25:40
on what happens in life. So there are people
25:42
that for a few years, you're really close with,
25:45
you're keeping in touch. They're part of the
25:46
chamber. You see them every month and then something
25:48
happens and you don't see them for a while. So
25:50
this top, this next level of 100, these are the
25:54
people that they're the farthest removed from
25:56
your day -to -day. So maybe you're touching base
25:58
with them on a quarterly basis. Maybe it's even
26:01
more than that every six months, but these are
26:03
people that somehow they came into your circle.
26:06
Maybe you met them at a networking event. Maybe
26:08
they were a referral at some point that didn't
26:10
materialize, but you want to keep them in your
26:13
orbit. And so when you think about these success
26:16
circles or these career circles, it's really
26:18
helping you maintain who are the people that
26:22
I want to touch base with. As we talked about,
26:24
if we really know 600 people, none of, I don't
26:27
know about you, but I don't have the capacity
26:28
to keep in touch with 600 people. But when you
26:31
can narrow it down to these. or 150, this allows
26:35
you to create a schedule, whether you're putting
26:38
it in streak or your CRM or whatever the case
26:40
may be, to have that, those touch bases of what's
26:44
happening with them. And then as people leave,
26:47
of course, you'll meet new people. So that's
26:49
where that comes from. I will tell you in all
26:52
honesty. I really tried the 150 people of keeping
26:57
in touch and keeping track. For me personally,
27:00
that was a lot, as you can imagine. So for me
27:04
right now, it's, I just focused in on my core
27:07
50 and then, I'm sorry, my core five and then
27:11
my next level 50. And for me, that... That feels
27:15
authentic. That feels genuine. I do. I love connecting
27:19
people when I'm like, hey, what is it that you
27:21
need? How can I help support you? I don't want
27:23
to have to ask 150 people that and then not follow
27:27
through on being able to support them. It's it's
27:31
so very important. And 50 seems to be a very
27:33
manageable number. So you really don't want to
27:37
go more than that. And if you go less than that,
27:39
you're not really living up to your potential.
27:41
So 50 is a very good number. And as long as you
27:45
can stay up on it, it's good because I always,
27:49
I educate as many people as I can. The follow
27:53
-up with people is more important than actually
27:56
meeting the person. So you have to always keep,
27:59
and what I do, I have a secret sauce for follow
28:02
-up. But after all that is done, you want to
28:05
stay in front of them, but you don't want to
28:07
be annoying. So you put them like into a newsletter
28:10
or something else like that. So you always keep
28:12
your name in front of them. So it's always good.
28:14
But the follow up is so very important. OK, can
28:18
you share an example of when a when your success
28:22
circle helped you overcome a major challenge
28:25
or seize an opportunity? Yeah. So literally just
28:30
last year, I not to go into the details, but
28:33
I had this brand that I had built for quite some
28:37
time and I was actually in the process of relaunching
28:39
it. And I. Without knowing it, I got served a
28:44
cease and desist for the portion of the brand
28:48
name by someone who had the trademark, even though
28:51
they weren't operating in my particular space,
28:54
but their trademark covered the executive coaching
28:58
training space. And so they exercised their right
29:01
to serve the cease and desist. And so, as you
29:04
can imagine, that was gut -wrenchingly painful
29:07
to have to experience as a business owner. And
29:10
not only just as a business owner, but like this
29:13
was something that I had been dreaming up since
29:15
2017. So I was still in corporate as I was like
29:19
dreaming up what like my business was going to
29:21
be. So there was a lot of emotional attachment
29:23
to the name and to the vision that I had put
29:27
towards it. Nonetheless, it was what it was.
29:30
But honestly, looking back, it was probably the
29:33
best thing that happened to me because again,
29:35
when you're genuine, when you give before you
29:39
ask, when you truly have the heart to support
29:41
people, when it comes time for you to need that,
29:44
people are going to turn around and do the same
29:46
thing for you. And so I had a colleague, and
29:49
this was someone that I had brought on as a consultant
29:52
or subcontractor when I had another opportunity.
29:55
And in conversation, I was just explaining to
29:58
her, this is what I have going on. These are
30:00
my backup plans. And at the time she had an opportunity
30:03
for a subcontractor to come on. And so not only
30:08
did I, was I able to go in and subcontract and
30:11
generate revenue from that particular project,
30:13
but the project that I worked on actually was,
30:17
it was part of a program that I had developed,
30:19
but it was developed, right? because I was subcontracting
30:23
that I had the time and space to really further
30:26
develop it. And so not only did I gain by working
30:29
with them, but now this program is this more,
30:33
so much more robust program that I'm, I've been
30:36
taking to the market and organizations have been,
30:39
have been saying yes, and I've been able to implement
30:41
it. So it's like the thing that was the catastrophe,
30:44
my network came through for me. And not only
30:46
did they come. through for me in the short term,
30:48
but it's also resulted in earnings well past
30:52
that particular project. Yeah, you would be surprised
30:55
at where success finds you. And you get your
31:00
success from your failures or things that stop
31:04
you. Because if you, I'm sure you have the same
31:07
mindset that I do. They say, no, you can't do
31:10
that. What do you mean I can't do that? I'm going
31:13
to do it. I may go around you. I may do it a
31:16
different way, but I'm going to do it. And that's
31:19
the mindset that you have, and that's why you're
31:21
successful today. Okay, so in your experience,
31:25
what are the most common mistakes people make
31:29
when trying to network? build influence. Let's
31:34
do the trying to network because I've had a couple
31:36
of those lately, right? Especially on LinkedIn.
31:39
And I'm sure you experienced this, right? So
31:41
it's the, hey, let's connect or I noticed your
31:45
thing. Let's connect. And no sooner do you hit
31:48
the accept button, here they are. I'm a financial
31:51
advisor and I can help you with this. Or I'm
31:53
dry and I can help you with this. And it's just,
31:55
you know nothing about me. You cannot help me
31:58
with anything. Or better yet, I had this example,
32:01
this perfect learning lesson. So last year I
32:04
did a talk and I did it on networking for this
32:06
organization. And one of the people who was there,
32:09
she connected with me. We had an exchange back
32:11
on LinkedIn. And I left it like, obviously, I
32:15
just taught this, right? If you ever need anything,
32:17
reach out to me. So it was probably almost a
32:20
year because she just reached out about last
32:22
month. So maybe we'll say 10 months since I've
32:25
heard from her, since we've talked, since we've
32:28
connected, engaged in any capacity. And I get
32:31
this message on LinkedIn and it's just, hey,
32:33
I'm looking to connect with marketing people.
32:36
And I figured why not come to the queen of networking
32:39
for some help? And that was it, Michael. Like,
32:44
it was just like, oh, okay. Like, luckily we
32:49
had the like chain of communication where I could
32:52
go back and be like, wait, who is this? What
32:54
is it? How did she find me? And so that is a
32:58
misstep, right? So two things, you don't wait
33:01
till you need something to connect with someone.
33:03
That's first and foremost, right? You build the
33:06
relationship over time. And as whether it's a
33:08
platonic relationship, a male, female, whatever
33:11
the relationship is, it requires an investment
33:13
of time, right? So that's first step. Second,
33:16
I'm looking to connect with people in marketing.
33:21
There are 9 billion people on this planet, right?
33:24
That could be anyone. Be specific. Be specific
33:28
about what it is that you're looking for and
33:31
how that person can actually help you. Second
33:33
or third, it would have been helpful if she would
33:36
have said, hey, I've noticed that you're connected
33:39
to these people or I've noticed that you have
33:42
connections to these companies, right? Is there
33:46
anyone in there that you can help connect me
33:48
with? And so it's just, it's the, you wouldn't
33:50
walk into a networking event. I think that's
33:53
where the challenge is when it comes to online
33:55
networking, right? Like you, I wouldn't walk
33:57
into your chamber and be like, oh yeah, Mike,
34:00
connect me to all the people in HR. You'd look
34:03
at me with that awkward look on your face. What?
34:06
But I feel like that. understanding that awareness
34:10
goes out the door when we're doing it on a social
34:13
platform like LinkedIn. So again, one, make sure
34:17
that you're staying in connection with that person.
34:19
Two, help them help you. Who is it that you're
34:23
looking for? How will that help benefit? And
34:26
then third, again, going back to the give before
34:29
you ask, you should have started with a, hey,
34:31
how are things going with you? What's new? What
34:34
can I support you? So I think it's just the decorum
34:37
of, Dealing with a human being and not having
34:40
that mindset of networking is all about an exchange
34:43
for something versus that networking is actually
34:46
about collaborating with people so that you can
34:49
get what you need. They can get what they need
34:51
versus I'm going to take or I'm going to only
34:55
be the giver in a situation. Yep. You should
34:58
always. I have thousands of connections also
35:01
on LinkedIn. One thing that I've always noticed
35:05
is that the people that are truly interested
35:08
in a relationship, not just the client aspect
35:12
of it, but a true relationship, they start out
35:15
like we're standing next to one another. Hey,
35:18
Michael, how you doing? What's going on? You
35:20
know, they start out the whole paragraph before
35:22
they ask. So if you treat it as if you're talking
35:27
to them or talking to the person, you'll go so
35:29
much further. Okay, you've built. strong networks.
35:34
What are one to two daily or weekly habits that
35:39
keep your relationships thriving? Yeah, I love
35:43
that question. So something that I have been
35:46
doing, so I've, I had a podcast or I have a podcast.
35:49
It's just on break and I've been on a lot of
35:51
podcasts. And obviously I talk to people and
35:54
you're going to get this question after the fact
35:56
too. But like when I get off of a podcast, I'll
35:59
always ask the host, like, what do you need?
36:02
How can I support you? Are you looking for guests?
36:05
What kind of guests are you looking for? What
36:06
topics? And so I have a whole spreadsheet that
36:09
I have been tracking of podcasts that I've been
36:12
on, the links, what we talked about. And so as
36:15
I'm meeting people and it doesn't have to be
36:16
other like. podcasters, but as I'm meeting people
36:19
out and about at events, maybe on podcasts or
36:22
whatever, and I ask them, what are you looking
36:23
for? And especially with entrepreneurs, like
36:26
it's always around marketing and business development
36:28
and whatnot. And if I hear that they have a podcasting
36:31
strategy or podcasting is part of their marketing
36:34
strategy, I'll say, oh, okay, what are the topics?
36:37
I go in, I look at my list of podcast relationships
36:40
that I've built and I'll say, hey, OK, I'm going
36:42
to introduce you to this person. And so for me,
36:45
that's one of the things that I do that biweekly.
36:47
That's biweekly. The second piece is I do a lot
36:50
of virtual coffee. So I go to events and I'm
36:53
always like, OK, let's connect on LinkedIn. My
36:55
strategy is usually if I meet someone in person,
36:58
I connect with them on LinkedIn immediately.
37:01
During that time, I say, hey, let's set up a
37:03
virtual coffee or in -person coffee if they're
37:04
here. During that conversation, it's really just
37:07
to get to know them, understand what they have
37:09
going on, who it is, what it is that they need.
37:12
At the end of the conversation, I always ask
37:14
the question, what can I do to support you? And
37:16
if they're like, oh, I'm looking for this, whatever
37:18
it is. Okay, cool. I think I might have someone
37:20
that I can connect you with. I literally set
37:23
a goal, Michael. I started it this year. I've
37:25
never set it as a goal before, but this year
37:27
I started setting it as goal. Every week, I have
37:30
to connect at least two people with each other.
37:32
So like, literally, it gives me so much joy to
37:36
be like, hey, let me do this warm introduction
37:38
to someone. And now that I've actually set it
37:41
as a goal, every week, there's at least two or
37:44
three connections that I'm making. Again, that
37:47
is nothing in return. That is me. It goes off
37:50
of that Ziegler quote, where he is just, you'll
37:53
get what you want if you can help more and more
37:55
people get what they want. I'm butchering that.
37:58
That's right. I'm a big Zig Ziglar fan. But I
38:01
too, I do that. I have not set that as a goal,
38:05
but I average two to three times a week where
38:10
I take two people and I put them together. I
38:12
refer each other and I step away. I just did
38:16
it this morning and they both thanked me so much
38:19
and everything, but that's not the point where
38:21
I am in my circle. I am known as I get two people
38:26
together, you know, and I love doing just like
38:29
you. I love doing that. I love doing it. It gives
38:32
me such a good feeling that I can help because
38:35
I know it's going to come around. I know it's
38:37
going to come back around, but that doesn't take
38:40
away from the feeling that I helped two people.
38:43
Yeah, I really enjoyed that. It is an amazing
38:46
feeling. So I label people like that as super
38:48
connectors. And I feel like everyone should have
38:51
a super connector in your life. And I'm usually
38:54
the super connector. So it's, I don't have a
38:56
super connector, but I'm going to find one, but
38:58
I'm usually that person. And what I explain to
39:00
people is when you have a super connector in
39:02
your life, you have to understand that you're
39:04
not bothering them. Like they actually like generate
39:07
joy. off of connecting people. And so that's
39:12
not something to abuse, of course. Certainly
39:14
you don't want to abuse that, but just understand
39:17
the gem that you have when you have someone who
39:19
actually generally enjoys it. Okay, good, good.
39:23
Let's elevate the conversation just a little
39:26
bit. How do you approach networking differently
39:29
when it's about long -term success versus immediate
39:33
gain? Yeah, that's a really great question. And
39:37
I'll just, if you don't mind, I'll use a personal
39:39
experience. So here in San Diego in particular,
39:44
being like, I feel like I'm still the new kid
39:47
on the block, even though I've been out here
39:49
almost six years, I have realized that the culture
39:52
here. there's people do you've said this right
39:56
and you've heard this people do business with
39:58
people they know and trust right and when you're
40:00
new to a city or when you're new to an environment
40:03
and when you're new to i think southern california
40:05
and its culture it's very much stranger danger
40:09
type where people are nice don't get me wrong
40:11
people are very nice But building that trust,
40:14
that trust takes a very long time. And so that
40:17
first year that I was here, which is why I navigated
40:21
using LinkedIn first and then building the relationship
40:23
in person. And even to this day, I walk into
40:26
some organizations that like I've been part of,
40:29
or I've done things with them and people are
40:32
still like, I'm sorry, what's your name? And
40:34
I'm like, yeah. Every one of these meetings.
40:41
And not to mention that I'm the only woman of
40:44
color in here. You realize that it is what it
40:47
is. And so for me. That giving before you ask,
40:52
that sowing those seeds, that being a value of
40:55
people, I have learned that my environment, this
40:58
is what the environment requires because this
41:00
is the business culture here. And there are organizations
41:03
here. There's one organization in particular,
41:06
it's similar to Vistage, if you're familiar with
41:08
Vistage. Yeah, it's very similar. And so just
41:12
like Vistage, you can go in, you can do presentations,
41:15
you can do workshops, and you can do talks. they
41:18
ask me, like my answer is always yes, right?
41:20
Because this is an organization where their members
41:23
are individuals that I want to build relationships
41:26
with, because I know the long term, it's a long
41:29
term play. And I also understand what the reward
41:32
is for that. And so I've gone in, I've done multiple
41:35
talks for multiple of their groups, I've presented,
41:39
I've done all those things, because I understand
41:41
that this is not about a, I did this, so you
41:44
give me that this is more of a Long -term, if
41:48
I'm going to be successful in business here locally,
41:51
and this is where the local business people are,
41:54
this is where I want to invest my time, my energy,
41:57
give value, because I know, we know, like those
42:00
seeds come back at some point. That's great.
42:03
And that was a perfect answer. It really was.
42:05
I thought I would get you a little bit with the
42:07
question, but you answered it perfectly. Let's
42:10
bring this podcast full circle. And if someone...
42:15
listening is feeling stuck, isolated, or like
42:19
they have no valued network, what's the very
42:22
first step you recommend they take? Yeah, I'm
42:26
going to ask you to do that value assessment.
42:28
That's going to be the first thing, right? Because
42:30
that is a mindset and that is a perception that
42:33
person may have, right? So you get down to what
42:36
are your skills, right? What are you known for?
42:39
Where do you have expertise? And what are your
42:42
strengths? And I forgot to say this before, but
42:44
when it comes to the strengths, oftentimes what
42:47
we think are our strengths really aren't our
42:49
strengths. And I say that because we can walk
42:52
into a room and walk up to someone and spark
42:55
up a conversation and be okay with it. Not everyone
42:58
can do that, right? So we may have not seen our
43:02
ability to network as a strength or better yet,
43:05
our ability to connect people and connect the
43:08
dots for people as a particular strength. And
43:11
so when it comes to our strengths, if people
43:13
are sitting around, oh, I don't really have any
43:14
strengths or I don't have valuable strengths,
43:16
ask the people around you. Ask the people who
43:19
know you best. One, especially family, they're
43:21
going to tell you the truth. And two, if you
43:24
have colleagues, just ask them, like, what is
43:26
it that you've noticed that I do really well?
43:29
Because sometimes we'll be surprised at what
43:32
people take notice of as a core strength of ours
43:35
that we take for granted because it's just what
43:39
we do. So getting clear on what your strengths
43:41
are and then being completely honest with yourself
43:43
about where your opportunities are. The opportunities
43:46
are important because that adds that level of
43:49
humility when you can say to someone, hey, I'm
43:51
really good at this. I'm really good at that.
43:53
This is what I'm looking to do. But I really
43:55
have, I'm really struggling here. People genuinely
43:58
naturally want to help other people, right? I
44:02
truly believe that my heart of hearts, maybe
44:04
I'm naive, but I believe that people really want
44:06
to help others. And so when you can humble yourself
44:08
and say, this is a shortcoming, whatever term
44:11
you want to use, and this is where I could really
44:13
use your help because I've seen you do this well,
44:16
or I admire this about you, people are going
44:18
to jump on board and they're going to want to
44:20
help you. So first and foremost, to answer the
44:23
question, right, start with challenging the mindset
44:26
that you don't have anything to bring to the
44:28
table. And you can do that by building up your
44:30
confidence and doing that value assessment. And
44:33
then when you're asking others what your strengths
44:35
are and you're hearing other people tell you
44:38
what they admire about you, what they think you
44:40
really do well, that's an immediate confidence
44:42
boost right there. Yes, it is. Yes, it is. Sabine,
44:46
I can go on talking to you for another two hours.
44:50
You are very easy to talk to, and you really
44:53
come with such a great amount of knowledge, whether
44:57
it's from your corporate background or you're
44:59
learning every day. And I see that you learn
45:01
from every customer. You're learning from whether
45:04
it's lessons or books or whatever, but you're
45:07
doing a fabulous job. Sabine. If somebody wanted
45:11
to get hold of you, either to be coached or just
45:14
to say hello, how can they reach you? Thank you
45:17
for asking that. So LinkedIn is where I hang
45:19
out. You can find me on LinkedIn. My handle is
45:21
my name, Sabine Gideon, or you could reach out
45:24
to me via my website at sabinegideon .com. It's
45:28
beautiful. Sabine, I will speak with you soon.
45:32
Thank you, Michael. Well, hold on, folks. Don't
45:36
go anywhere. Let me just read a few of our sponsors
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-E -V -V -E -D -U -P -K -I -D -S dot org. Well,
46:53
that's a wrap, folks. A huge thank you to our
46:56
special guests for sharing such incredible insights
46:59
today. And of course, a big shout out to you,
47:02
our amazing listeners, for tuning in and spending
47:06
your time with us. Remember, networking isn't
47:10
about being perfect. It's about being present.
47:13
So take what you've learned today, get out there
47:15
and make some meaningful connections. If you
47:19
enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe,
47:21
leave us a review, and share it with someone
47:24
who could use a little networking inspiration.
47:27
Let's keep the conversation going. You can find
47:31
me on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or my website,
47:35
Michael. Remember, until next time, keep practicing,
47:39
keep connecting, and keep building those relationships.
47:43
This is Michael signing off. Take care and happy
47:46
networking.